Satisfyingly insulting insults that won't put a quarter in the swear jar

It's important to keep a friendly relationship with your neighbors. Depending on how you play your cards, they could either be your greatest ally or your worst enemy. However, what would happen if your neighbor turned out to be the devil dressed like an angel? This is the story of the new guy on the block. OP moved to a new, developing neighborhood with his lady love. They were ecstatic about starting a new chapter in their lives and moving to their new home. However, things changed when the un…

If you want to receive, you must ask… nicely. That's especially true if the person you're asking a question to happens to work in retail ! The retail workers of the world spend a lot of time helping customers and answering their questions. At lost of jobs, workers quickly realize that customers ask the same two or three questions all day long, like asking where a specific section is, or asking about the same sales. But sometimes customers throw a question at you that you're not expecting. Then…

Being someone's boyfriend does not necessarily mean picking them up from work during a snowstorm. There are certain times in life when it's every person for themselves, and this was clearly one of those times. The funniest part of the story here is that the girlfriend, who shared this post via Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole subreddit, showed her cards when she mentioned that there was near zero visibility during the storm. So honestly, was she really expecting him to drive in the middle of that? Sorr…

This call center boss is really tired of metrics. At many companies, it's clear that leadership values the numbers over their customers and employees. The numbers don't lie, after all, but just looking at the numbers in a vacuum isn't always enough. This place is a great example of that. Some higher-ups who have probably never even talked to their employees looked at their call times. They decided that the calls were taking too long. Why that would be an issue at a call center is beyond me. I m…

It's remarkable how many times problems could have been solved in most workplace environments were it not for the egos of those in charge. Ideally, any functioning team should thrive on ideas and foresight from anyone involved. There is a difference between overstepping one's boundaries and providing helpful ideas for the whole team's benefit. The latter is called collaboration. It's having a team-building mentality. It should not be interpreted as aggressive or threatening behavior; yet, for t…

You can divide the people of the world into two groups. The first group is people who see their pets as actual family members. People who think twice before they adopt an animal, and seriously consider all the factors of bringing in a pet inside their household. Once they do, that pet gets treated like any other family member, and is loved equally. The second group of people, and I'm sure you can see where I am going with this, are the people who see pets as just another piece of furniture in t…

Kids get a bad reputation in the service industry. However, anyone who has ever worked at a family restaurant know the truth—it's always the parents. Kids will be kids, we all know that, and it's up to the parents or guardians to teach their kids how to behave. So when an adult allows their tiny human to run around a restaurant like it's their personal playroom, of course everyone working there is going to be annoyed. Other than the fact that it's a real danger for your kid to be doing that whi…

A group of 14 neighbors apparently banded together to write an unintentionally funny note . There's at least one person in this neighborhood who is absolutely incensed over fake plants . Fake plants are optimal for people who are constantly forgetting to water their plants, or just don't want the responsibilities of watering them all the time. Other people just like the look of plants that appear bright and blooming year-round. Not to mention that many fake plants really do look like the real t…

Have you ever done a deep cleaning of your house and discovered silly oddities and funny trinkets that you imagined were long gone? Crusted with dust and buried in the forlorn corners of our homes, there are hidden treasures from decades past that are revealed when we take a moment to clean up our space. Like the moment you uncrumble a $20 bill in your winter coat, there's no better feeling than finding your own precious valuables squirreled away in the clutter.

It's not uncommon in the workplace to be told not to worry about something only to later be asked why you weren't worried about it—or to have that thing that you were told not to worry about coming back to haunt you or completely blow up in the company's face.

Kids will be kids, but also petty neighbors will still be petty! In fact, there is perhaps no greater rivalry than a group of rebellious kids and a disgruntled adult neighbor with a knack for being petty. We empathize with this neighbor's predicament here because not only were these kids repeatedly littering just for the fun of it, but if their parents weren't going to teach them a lesson, who was? If not now, when? Am I right, reader? This dude started to discover piles of trash on the sidewal…

Managers love things like mandatory training sessions just as much as they hate excuses about why you haven't gotten your work done… Even if you haven't gotten your work done because of all the mandatory training sessions and useless meetings they've scheduled for you.

If you have ever flown before, then you should be well aware of the in-flight edict. You can try and pull the ‘ole switcheroos with seating, nobody is really against that. But you need to approach it with zero expectations. You are not entitled to that seat switch. And if you are considering asking someone to switch seats with you, then you have to come to them with an upgrade, not a window seat for a middle, or ask for a front seat with more legroom and offer a middle seat by the bathrooms. Li…

To kids, snow days are magical. You've woken up to a white blanket of frozen fun covering your neighborhood, then all of your dreams come true when your mom gets that fateful call from your teacher. School is canceled! Without the worries of driving on icy roads or working to put food on the table, all you're left with is the insatiable desire to have the best day ever with whichever parent is forced to stay home with you.

Two words: Polar. Vortex.