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Ha!
Ha, indeed, sir.
He could easily see it was fake because, unprovoked, the female actually agreed to intercourse.
X^D
he could smell that setup a mile off.
No, do you?
Yes.
Is that not normal??
WTG!
SEEMS LEGIT!
No it doesn’t.
That’s right, upon first glance it doesn’t seem either legit or funny.
Psst, it’s called “sarcasm”. *wink wink*
That’s a Christian BS post if ever I saw one.
Agreed.
Seconded
Tripled.
except for the fact some guys CAN keep it in their pants, only atheists dips**ts who have no morals would act as if sex is an immature thing for immature people
Only Christian dips**its who think that condemning natural human behaviors is the key to going to the afterlife would act as if sex is something to be taken so seriously.
Well you’re both mistaken.
Atheists are certainly not the “only” men who treat sex like a toddler’s game, and Christians should *NEVER* engage in condemnatory profane name calling which wholly fails to make anyone do anything but defend their immoral behavior.
Now let’s all grow up and agree that this particular autocowreck is *possible* at face value (but not terribly amusing), but that it does have many elements to it that make it not very funny…most notably that it contains no autocowreck at all.
Hey, my ex girlfriend was a pretty hardcore Christian , and she put the moves on me several times. I had to tell her to get off of me because it wouldn’t be a good idea to put ourselves in a place where we’d have sex. Obviously, I *wanted* to, but it wouldn’t have been good for us. Now that we’ve gone our separate ways, I’m glad we didn’t, because it would have made it even harder to move on, and made an empty rebound even more likely. Don’t generalize people’s behavior like that. Especially since human behaviors isn’t the key to going to heaven for Christians…
she left you because you’re a prude.
And you never had a girl!
It seems pretty difficult to have a serious relationship with someone where you have to avoid putting yourself in a place where sex is a possibility.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over four years and we haven’t had sex…
I respect this very much. Waiting is commendable.
Condemning natural human behaviors is not the key to the afterlife, eh?
So, because humans are violent, jealous, vindictive, and conniving naturally, does that mean violence, jealously, etc. are all vindicated from a moral point of view?
Nope. They hurt people. Sex doesn’t. Straw man fail.
How is it atheists who make it “immature”? The only reason Christianity enforces sex after marriage is because of the old stipulation that a wife would have to convert to her husband’s religion – sex after marriage only ensuring that children, and lots of them, are born to a “pure and obedient” christian family.
Atheists have also never declared war on somebody for believing in something different, Crusades and yadda yadda you’re stupid.
Well, I’m an atheist, so I’d now like to declare war on gullibility. See? We can declare ware, too.
Which is kinda obvious. Atheism indicates merely a absence of belief in one specific area. (I’m sure there are atheists who believe in Astrology or other nonsense.) There is nothing atheists necessarily have in common, just like people who don’t collect stamps don’t need to have anything else in common. Atheism is not a religion, not collecting stamps is not a hobby.
Your first point is right. The original poster arbitrarily (and unjustifiably) assumes that atheists have never declared “war” on someone for believing differently. Just look at how communist countries treated religion in the last century.
But your second point is off. Atheism and “not collecting stamps” are not analogous. Why? Because there is no single or similar action in each of them. In the one case you have a person who “collects” stamps, and another person who does not. One person is “doing” something, the other is not.
Contrary to this, the atheist and theist both have active “beliefs”. Moreover, the object of their beliefs are the same. One believes a god exists, the other does not. Hence, they both have “religious” beliefs.
So while the atheist does not necessarily have a “religion” — though militant atheists seem to have made one out for themselves — it’s not a matter of “belief and no belief” like it is of “having a hobby or not having a hobby”, it’s a matter of “belief in X and belief that X is wrong.”
Believers and nonbelievers have one other thing in common, which is that they are unforgivingly boring. I submit as proof the entire wall of text that is this discussion, which is so dull that it makes you want to kill yourself and meet your maker (or not).
Lol. Your apathy is cute.
yeah ok buddy. atheism does mean you do not believe in gods of any form. as in mystical forces with beards building worlds in their hands. so yes they believe X is wrong, however they do not have an X of their own. soooo what i am saying is the guys stamp and god analogy was actually pretty well done. atheists don’t collect stamps. there is nothing else you can say they all do as a people. atheists do not have beliefs, that being the definition of atheist and all.
“The only reason Christianity enforces sex after marriage is because of the old stipulation that a wife would have to convert to her husband’s religion – sex after marriage only ensuring that children, and lots of them, are born to a “pure and obedient” christian family.”
Heh, no.
There are numerous health reasons to not have sex until after marriage. Abstinence is the only 100% way to not have a child accidentally. And humans are biologically programmed for a monogamous relationship. To which abstinence practices lend themselves to.
It’s easy to believe that in North America (presumably). Humans are culturally programmed for whatever relationship style is normal in their society. Hence polygamous and polyandrous cultures well outside of the reach of western civilization.
There could be a biological, non-religious basis for monogamous behavior. Your body produces bonding chemicals like oxytocin and vasopressin. Also, there are biological, psychological, and social benefits to monogamy.
Numerous health reasons? Name one.
Not going outside is also the only 100% sure way you don’t get struck by lightning, so I guess people should stay inside all their lives for numerous health reasons.
Abstinence works 99.9999999% of time. That tramp Mary managed to get knocked up, didn’t she?
Yes they have. Vietnam, Desert Storm, the civil war, the american revolution, the Bolshevik rebellion, the boxer wars…. pretty much every war ever, except the crusades.
Only teenage to college age christians post crap like this.
Real adults of all denominations know that sex is amusing, but hardly worth either relentless pursuit or chaste avoidance. They just don’t tell that to their kids because they’d rather they not get shotgun married to some loser.
so many fails in so many posts… facepalm.jpeg. just because someone is atheist does not mean they have no morals. i was atheist years ago and i knew that stealing was wrong. i waited til i was 19 to have sex. because of choice too if you would believe it. it scares me that if religious fanatics stopped believing that they would become epic criminals. because a lot of them make that same stupid argument. do you know how many cross and Jesus tattoos you see in jail…? a lot. and i have not seen a big bang tattoo in jail yet. though i did see one too many big bangs.
Another moron who thinks morals come from religion
Or maybe just a good old fashioned BS post, no Christianity associated…
It never ceases to amaze me how prejudiced people are about others now just look at how many posts it took for people to start hating on Christians or anyone else who believes there is more to life.
@neoritter
Actually, historically and biologically speaking humans are programmed for the nature of survival. Polygamy was the preferred method of survival, until it became unnecessary in order to survive. The difference is that monogamy has become a social and moral norm because of the rise of Western dominated world, until recent times at least. This historical dominance also gave rise to Christianity, which in turn caused the Western influenced world to accept monogamy as the norm. Historically, the world before the influence of Europe and Christianity relied on polygamy to survive. The idea that monogamy is genetically programmed is a myth, and has only become the norm in the last 500-600 years.
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Troll alert. Level 5. Acne wash and sunlight deployed.
^This
I also agree
Kind of ironic to comment that with (gay) Freddie Mercury…
I’m sure Freddie turned plenty of girls down. (And their dads thought he was a nice young man.)
^ this
Freddie Mercury was bisexual.
YOU JUST GOT SCHOOLED
EPIC WIN…
If this isn’t fake, Jessica’s father thinks about her banging young dudes. And calling them ‘son’ like he was a cowboy or something.
Or is it Jessica’s father thinks about banging young dudes?
Like a cowboy, or something…
Fake and/or gay!
What jerk would pretend to be his daughter and text something like that to her boyfriend? I certainly wouldn’t want to marry into that kind of deceitful, manipulative and unctuous family culture.
This, and, if legit, Jessica would probably dump his boring, pansy-ass soon anyway.
…unless, of course, dear old dad does this to all of Jessica’s boyfriends and she clued the new boy in beforehand – in that case, well played.
Exactly. This guy knew it was her father. He HAD to. No one talks like that.
That you can’t tell this is fake is depressing.
That so many people can’t tell, even more so.
^this
Someone must have tipped him off.
tired of these fake posts
me too, none of the Iphone convo’s are funny, pretty much all of them are fake. booooring
Its too f***ing easy for you to change your contact name and have a fake conversation with your buddy right next to you… Cheezburger needs to stop letting the fake and gay through.
Fake, sure. Gay? I can handle gay.
Win
Epic. Win.
This is shopped. I can tell because of the pixels around the outside of the whales and having seen many shops in my day.
you speak only of what you know, sir!
More like double fail.
95% of those (probably fake) iphone “fails” are just lame and not suited for failblog at all >.<
Lame and not funny..
He should have said, “Sure, I’ll rock your world babe. But only if your dad can watch.”
Real Fail!
i think it’s great more guys should be like this.
and more dads should do that to their daughters then they will know if the person is right for them.
Well, speaking as a father – if my daughter would ever bring a guy like that home, I’d kick him out. If you can’t take her virginity, you sure as hell can’t marry her.
Theoretically, it’s possible to wait until marriage and still take a girl’s virginity.
In practice, I suppose you’re right.
only if the log ride is open for business
Wha? Who said he can’t?
the dadness talk is overdoing it a little too much for it to be believable. Maybe on a sitcom.
maybe they were already together but she left her phone at home…
Really, another fake shopp’d iPhone conversation, are the mods blind?
OK now for the real explanation. He had just rolled off her and looked at his phone. He rolled back to her and said “hey look at the text you just sent me”. She replied “I forgot my phone at home, that must be my dad, pretend to be a good christian boy and he’ll leave us home alone later.”
LOL Eric, perfect explanation
It seems wrong trying to prevent a guy from doing to your daughter what you always wanted (and probably did) to someone else’s daughter.
And No: It’s not because you’ve become smarter over the years – because you didn’t!
This. I could never understand the “no guy can have sex with my daughter” mindset. It seems kinda creepy.
If I did those things, I probably wouldn’t have an issue with other people wanting to.
no ones noticed the guy talking said ”son” at the end??? it’s his father!!! omg FAMILY DISFUNCTIONAL!!! he say hes perfect for his daughter and he say son at end wth!!!!
Can’t tell if trolling… Or just stupid.
these people
*Tea Wrecks
*Sarita
*Cuddles the Safety Clown
doant know what there talking about
realistically hes probably gay or working some kind of crazy angle
Fake, but if it was real I’d be like “Wuss.”
I know how see thru some of us old guys/bastards can be. He was too obvious, unless his little girl talks that way all the time then the boy would know it wasn’t her. My daughter married a lazy idiot after dating several others who just wanted to get in her pants, I ran them off but I was unsuccessful in getting rid of the lazy one.
The christian angle, that’s just the atheist and anti christians running their mouths again. Atheism, the only religion that says the the only thing you can believe in is hatred of those that do believe..Atheism is a religion now, if you proselytize you are a religion, get used to it.
Except that Atheists don’t do that. Atheists just don’t believe in god.
I just don’t believe in god, that’s all.
No, the majority of atheists that you encounter and notice are atheists who do that. Which is a fate acompli, because you don’t notice those who are happily not believing in god and not bugging you about it.
Are you retarded? “Atheism” simply is a lack of belief in a deity… that’s it. I don’t believe in god. You do? Prove it then we can talk…
Wow, I’m really surprised at how some of the comments bash each other back and forth. If you think it is funny, great. If you think it isnt, post what you think. But do we have to be hateful?
Sure, because it’s the internet. Scientists have recently found that 85–90% of it are made from hateful comments.
Welcome to the internet!
An Admiral Ackbar-approved response.
What’s Freddy Mercury got to do with this?
So Jessica’s father wants to bang her boyfriend?
Congratulations! You have unlocked “banging.” You may now bang with impunity.
The Mormons are fighting back by posting bs autocowrecks.
What a homo!
What a Claudius!
Look out everyone, we have a badass!
Failblog viewers… Y U NO GIVE DUMB/FAKE POSTS LOW RATINGS?????
EPIC WIN
Alright. I looked at two pictures.
BOTH ended up with milelong religious discussion and slander.. Hairy ballsack… Thats messed up
I find it really sad that these fake “fails” now make up a significant portion of the content on the once excellent failblog. Maybe it’s the advent of kiddies with poorly developed sense of humour, or maybe it’s just that failblog’s owners have sold out, but these pretend iphone “fails” are really gay.
The perfect ending.
If i was the dad I would have said “Okay, dont see her any more or waste her time, you’re obviously super gay, or a super religious nut bag”
Obvious fake is obvious.
I“M WITH HELLOTITTY!!!!
OBV FAKE!!!
OBV!!
LAME-0! LAME!!
insert the final countdown after reading this
STFU
Smells fake to me.