Oh bother, you seemed to have caught me stealing your automobile. No problem, I shall sit inside with all the evidence and wait for the authorities.
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Probably Bad News: Even Canadian Criminals Are Polite
» 33 Failures in Communication
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This is probably my favorite type of dumb criminal.
It’s a shame there’s no Inept Criminal Raccoon meme for this. “Breaks into car… Can’t drive stick”
You should make it. Bad Criminal Chris =D We can never have too many Memes. The best thing is watching all the madbros crying about it being forced.
LOL! That would be great!
AGATT, i’ve always wanted to ask you, are cheesegraters great or grate?????? :O QUESTION OF THE DECADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It depends on your outlook, but they can be both great AND grate!
great answer!
or grate answer!
Or Great Grate answer!!!
Wait a minute… is that you, Mr. Bean??? Great disguise, bro! LOL!!!
“the owner was putting away a charger used to revive the sports car’s dead battery”
If they were putting it away, wouldn’t the battery be FULL? Or did they just decide not to charge it all the way?
It doesn’t charge all the way if you jump start it, which is what you’d do if the battery was dead. Driving charges it.
when my car dies, i kill it again, it always works!!!
If the electrical system was discharging more than the alternator was charging, then the system would come to a point where there wouldn’t be enough electricity to operate the engine, and stall out.
It’s a shame the corvette’s engine only needed the electricity to start, but not to run.
If you read the article, he didn’t know stick and he must have stalled it because he didn’t use the clutch to stop, etc while backing up.
You do know you can stall your vehicle driving if it’s a stick, right?
Actually, it does need electricity to run, which is why cars are equipped with alternators. That alternator serves as a generator of sorts, it runs all of the electrical components of your car while simultaneously charging your battery. Of course, any person who knows his ass from a car knows that alternators only charge while the engine is running, so that’s why it had to be jumped. Once he jump starts it, the alternator takes over, and you can unhook the cables. However, it takes time for the alternator to charge the battery, so you should let it run for a good while.
He probable used the charger in order to start the car. Once started it would run off the alternator and charge the battery fully but the thief stalled the car before the battery was fully charged.
It’s presumable that the engine hadn’t been idling long enough to charge the batteries, so yeah, the would be thief is SOL. What a tool, always annoying when you jump start your car and whoever is with you kills it….
I guess a manual transmission acts as an anti-theft device if you think about it, for incredibly stupid people. Good thing my car is equipped with one.
The stupidest thing? Not only did the criminal not know how to drive a stick (which isn’t stupid in and of itself; it’s just a lack of knowledge, not a lack of IQ), but he didn’t know how to unlock the door from the inside. Now THAT is stupid. Door locks are phenomenally simple: you just slide a lever or pull up a button.
I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the failed thief is blond, which would explain most of that.
Sorry to deflate your balloon (D:) but Corvettes have electronic locks. There are no levers to pull or locks to push. It does have, however, a mechanical backup located on the floor.
Even some Corvette owners don’t know where the mechanical door release is.
Beat me to it boss. I was becoming amused reading these einsteins of the vehicle world above us. Pretty sure most of them would be lost trying to refill the washer fluid.
… Maybe thats true of modern corvettes, but the older ones damn sure do have a slide to open the door. If you read the article the cop said that he didn’t understand the thief’s actions, all he would have had to do is slide the lever to the left and it would have unlocked it…
OK, fair enough, but how do you fail to break a window with an axe?
Maybe he was an Amish thief.
lol I leave sort of near where this happened, and the story was in todays newspaper. I got a good laugh out of it.
… *live
Has no one noticed yet the fail of the poster, who presented this as the story of a polite Canadian thief who passively sat in the car and waited for authorities to arrive, not the actual (and much more entertaining) truth of someone who locked himself in a car and then couldn’t get out, despite strenuous (but ill-informed) efforts? The “Even Canadian criminals are polite” headline and “wait … for the authorities” text added to the end have nothing to do with the content of the story. Did the poster READ the story? And for that matter the actual article headline isn’t all that great; to say it was the “wrong” car implies strongly that there was some other care he intended to steal, which he mistook this one for, which is not the case. This whole post is completely drenched in fail.
Actually I didn’t put that title when I submitted the article, I originally typed Escape FAIL, but the site changed the title for me. So your claim that I failed with the title of this posting is false. Thanks for trying to pin this on me though.
omg, having an axe and a screw driver is “possessing break-in instruments”? *rofl*
TL;DR
I don’t understand the title reference to Canadian criminals being nice. What does this have to do with the article? It’s a great story but not sure the title fits. Is it me?
This is a “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore ” moment. Some people are JUST that dumb.