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Texas, what a surprise.
Wow… I love it when grammar nazis screw up… you confused ‘their’ with ‘they’re’ as in ‘They are arriving by UPS.’
Nazi is a proper noun, and therefore should be capitalized.
We can all capitalize on this great info!
..well, it’s become adjective-ized, so don’t stress..
*pats down Avis*
Sorry for the Molestration… hope you had a great time
I like the stray HEAD
What?
Bottom right.
I think that’s part of the crawl.
Almost undoubtedly true, but I’m still somewhat groggy, that makes my sense of humor somewhat dim.
I’m on can of soda number three and have already been to the farmers market today. Today’s project is potato salad. Made with a few different types of potatoes.
That sounds so good. Is it southern style or with red potatoes? Family recipe?
Yukon golds, two other kinds I’ve neve heard of and purple potatoes. Then it’s just celery, red onion, curly parsley, chives, a touch of dill, and justnenough mayonnaise to make it all stick together.
It’s for a picnic tomorrow night at a concert venue, we’re having fired chicken and purple cole salw too.
I wanna go with you to this “concert venue”! You’re making my mouth water! I haven’t had any of that since I got married.
It’s an outdoor concert type thing. I’m going to see the Gypsy Kings.
I’ve never heard of them, but I’m listening to “Bamboleo” right now. I like their sound, but it’s been a couple years since I took Spanish in high school. :\
That’s probably their most famous song.
Don’t tell me you’ve become hipsters…
Because I like the Gypsy Kings? I would imagine most of the world knows who they are!
Don’t think I’ve ever heard of them.
Not I.
makes me want to cook something really good!!
Huh, weird.
Jake, we talk food here occasionally, but we try not to too much, lest the sandwich trolls get wind of it.
otto want samich.
OTTO should walk his plastic ass into his own damn kitchen and make his own damn sandwich.
Be nice to Otto.
I’m not being un-nice, he was though.
Wait… he’s made of plastic, right?
*Picks up OTTO*
*Gets out official FAILblog Play set (TM)*
*Puts OTTO in kitchen*
dRatt!!! How are ye’ m8? No more naughties today I hope?
No, not today.
That’s good to hear. Did you repair the Tardis III?
*Shines up window*
After that attempted evacuation, I’m contemplating giving it away. The old girl needs a good home.
On the plus side, I’ve seen a lot of FAILbook people around.
y u no make me samich?
Because I’m not your b!tch.
WEE-ooo-WEE-ooo…
Somebody call the hospital, ’cause we have a fourth degree BURN!
you dont have to be MY b!tch. You are a b!tch in general, and got extra b!tchy when I inquired about a samich, which makes you a master samich chef, and responsible for all samich making upon request. now gimme
While I am a damn good cook, you’ll never get to find out HOW good!
*Holds up Mass Conversion Device*
*Turns OTTO into sandwich*
Hmm… the lettuce is blue.
*Pulls out clipboard from tweed jacket*
*Makes notes*
*Lifts up bread*
*Bread is made of plastic*
Well… looks like I really need to sort this out.
I mean, he did say, ‘Make me a [sandwich].’
So I did.
*Turns OTTO back from sandwich*
I think it’s part of “Headline News.”
..is “molestration” worse that “molestation”..?..if so, i’m joining that protest line-!..
Yeah, with molestration, they cut off the parts they touch.
But then they go on to molestoration, where they restore the cut off parts.
Exactly!
Of course that always ends up being molesstoration, as the bits are never as big as they used to be. . .
And there’s that chance of being molassestorated, in which case the parts are a bit stickier than they used to be …
But there are those that think molassismoretorated. . . I think my brain broke.
..u were thinking how much u liked molasses, Nocon..i’m pretty sure..
I was trying to make a pun about how people say “less is more”, it just made the word a big jumble.
Puns never work unless you’re a raccoon.
Tell that to a certain Fuzz.
Maybe molasses is overrated…
..morass-is-more..we’re heading that way quickly..
no, it’s molestation that occurs every month for 4-5 days.
The pat downs are excessively invasive. And are more about making it look like they’re protecting the passengers than actually protecting them.
*IF* the TSA and the techniques used were actually effective, perhaps people would not mind so much. however, more than a few inspections have resulted in people being able to easily get explosives and/or weapons past security.
and, since “profiling” is not PC, that means we have to pat down grannies, babies, and prepubescent girls. right.
I cant fly without being subject to a “random” search. my perfectly molded ass if they dont profile. I think its the hair (no, its not really blue, but it is glorious). I walk up there with a backpack and an mp3 player. starin off into space, waitin in line, and it never fails, if I make it to the metal detector without an armed soldier tellin me that I’ve been selected for a search, the ppl at the detector tell me they’re gonna search me. I look at em with my long hair and tattoos like, “really? they dont get much more american than me dude. I dont wanna start no sh!t. but I would like to keep my lighter…”
also, OTTO’s flight tips for ppl who smoke:
Lighters on the plane are no-nos, but keeping matches in my wallet hasn’t gotten me in trouble yet.
Tip 2: Trim your cigars before you get on the plane. Wrap the ends in cling wrap to prevent damage/preserve them.
(Just kidding, I don’t smoke. I’m horribly asthmatic).
or just keep an unopened pack in your carry-on (just in case)
True, true.
i leave my lighter in my carry-on. then again, i very rarely fly. i’m afraid of magic.
*Magnets
I use magnets as a lighter.
Is your avatar John Lennon by any chance?
If it’s any consolation, I get picked out for random searches every time to. And there is nothing about my appearance that says “this person is different some how the the person behind her”. If you’ve seen my blog, you’ve seen my picture. Nothing about me says “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!”
*squeeze*
or, (and I’m being honest, not trying to be rude, I swear) it looks like you might be trying to smuggle something under your clothes.
*Gives OTTO shield*
Just in case.
Sunglasses? Do they work at all?
I live in the desert; I’m used to extreme temperatures.
yes
(Not me. Sugar)
So the solution is to be… immortal?
It’s all forgive and forget now but I’d just like to point out that I would not have started the War had you not tried to start diplomatic relations with Failbook. So it’s both our faults. But it’s over now and no damage was done.
I’m thinking about issuing an apology to the admins.
Ah. Well, then…
just most of the time
Just a question, apart from Lawrence’s borking, what exactly did we do that was different to what we normally do? We always talk complete rubbish and that’s all we did last night. So why would you need to apologize for yesturday? I really want to know what we did different. It’s all the same nonscense wasn’t it?
I’ve always thought that that definition was slightly off. It’s more like a cross between a chemical burn and radiation burns.
you went looking for trouble in someone else’s neighborhood and started a turf war.
You didn’t visit FAILbook after the Incident, did you?
Borking everywhere.
When we wreak havoc on our own playground it’s one thing, but you took the game elsewhere and messed up THEIR playground.
and that is something I simply cannot abide.
I may have to step my game up a little
I’ve looked over there, and here’s what I think happened:
1) I went over to FAILbook because of a fear of this happening.
2) The ‘Prince of Dimness’ (I think) asked me something about penguins and, quote, ‘We don’t like penguin likers.’
3) I lied and said that I didn’t like penguins to continue peaceful relations.
4) Sugar showed up under the alias of ‘the penguin’ and got rather angry.
5) ‘PoD’ got really agitated and got Lawerence of Russia on his side.
6) ‘Russia’ came over here and started borking the place up.
I don’t instigate conflict everyday ~_~’. Just twice, yesturday and the great penguin war of May/June. But we do talk nonscense everyday.
Also borking done by Failbookers has nothing to do with us, so we did nothing wrong. Please don’t call me a troll, I’m not a troll in any sense of the word..
After that:
7) Gracie put Sugar on her ‘list.’
8) Ryan got rid of Lawerence.
9) I tried to fix the ‘list,’ which was my secret plan to end this.
10) The plan worked, NSHA showed up, and all ended.
That smiley should be the number 8.
Why couldn’t you leave well enough alone? We TOLD you what happened with the other site. “hit him back f!rst” is a rotten defense.
Heck, I tried to stop this thing until the point of no return.
Oh, and between 4) and 5) should be ‘Sugar shot a bronie.’
have you ever heard the proverb, “Sometimes we rush to meet our destiny on the paths we take to avoid it.”
Not until today, OTTO. Seems fitting.
First off, I didn’t know of any first war. Second off, I didn’t meant to start a second war. Thirdly, I’m sorry. It appears people have taken this very seriouse and I’m truly sorry. What must I do for forgiveness? I am sorry.
Apology accepted.
*bends over and reveals perfectly molded plastic bottom*
kiss it.
thats right, apologize.
Hey, now. That’s taking it a little bit too far.
*shakes rear, just a little*
you too dratt. apologize.
I’ve said ‘sorry’ at least five times. To the mods, to the FAILbookers, to that creepy guy next-door.
And every single one was typed. Typed, I say.
OTTO made me go *snork*
It’s a statistical fact that the TSA is, at best, extremely bad at security with over 23,000 KNOWN cases where they’ve allowed stuff to slip through.
$10 of every ticket sold is TSA tax. Someone is making a flock of money and that’s about all that @$@$# agency is doing!
^THIS,
..i bet it’s Haliburton..
yup. what happens when a crappy beauracracy tries to design a security policy. ‘safety by committee.’
If a terrorist is hell bent on let’s say; blowing himself up along a plane full of people, then the least of his worries would be to get cought trying. There should be lines of terrorists with bombs at every American airport with those statistics.
They’re even patting down 5-year old girls and 80-year old grandmas. What are they gonna do? Team up with their dollies and purses to hijack the plane? Grandma can’t even see anymore.
And really, do you have to take my mascarra just because it’s not in a quart sized ziplock bag? Do you REALLY think I’ve got WMD in that one ounce tube?
Exactly! It’s even harder when you’re flying with a baby!
Your baby can FLY?! Mine can barely crawl! It’s real slow transportation as well. . .
The doctor was equally surprised. She didn’t think he’d start flying until he was at least 2 years old, but he’s only 9 months.
What really sucks, is they told me my baby would be able to fly immediately, being a spaceship and all. . . but nooooooooooo, all it does is crawl slowly.
They did a fully body pat down on my 18 Month Old.
She can’t even talk..
How you Statians tolerate such abuse of basic human dignity for an illusion of security is beyond me.
And since TSA have a 90% failure rate* for inspections they aren’t warned for beforehand, I really mean ”illusion of security”.
*(yes, they FAIL to block explosives and weapons 9 times out of 10.)
That walker Granny has looks mi-tey suspicious…
What makes you think the terrorist would not use a 5 year old to get a bomb through?
What makes you think TSA are any effective in preventing attacks with their 90% failure rate? You guys surrendered your rights to a police state that can’t even protect you.
so… is everything peaceful in the Cheeziverse today?
So far. I really am sorry about what my compatriots did yesterday. And right afternthey were told how bad it was when it happened before.
It’s happened before?! :O
Yeah, some of those here invaded ICHC of all places. This was a year or two ago. It made us all look bad.
Wow. o.O
Seems so.
←Look! I can do smileys!!!
We have a whole host of them here!
Just to list a few.
Yeah, you gotta hit return somewhere in a long post of tiny type.
Yeah, I forget. This time, I actually (barely) got it all in there.
(oddly enough, the iPad wants to auto correct mrgreen into “Jeffrey”)
(also, I have added to the name to explain the difference of when I am home or at my mothers)
For the record, I am at my mothers now.
Yeah, we’re all real sorry that happened. NSHA told them off what good though.
I don’t know if my brain is borked or what, but I’m having difficulty understanding your second sentence. Can you rephrase it?
Try ‘NSHA told them off good, though.’
NSHA being Not So Handy Andy.
Sorry, I was speaking like a character of an old kids’ show, he said something similar, but what I meant to say is Not-so-handy-Andy yelled at them.
Oh ok. Lol. I don’t think that was Andy. We’ve had Andy come and talk to us before. I think that was someone else.
Don’t question my existence.
Cogito ergo rogare
Um….
I screwed the conjugation, meaning I did none.
Rogo*
What’s Latin for ‘Sorry-I-screwed-everything-up-(probably-once-again)-on-behalf-of-everybody-involved-with-this-incident?’
malum mihi
Harm to me?
my bad*
Ah.
I PROMISE, I didn’t question your existence.
Due to reading everything late last night and being up all night (babies are great -_-), I was thinking of someone else. 
He’s spoken to us too. It sounded like how he usually talks to us.
Why did he speak to y’all?
Well yesterday to tell the invaders that they came close to banning, but before to Victo, on one one of the pedobear book fails. She sent in a submission via FAX!!!
ROFL!!! That’s too awesome! He talked to us in June or July because some people were spamming really badly. He actually had a “submission” that was him talking to us and answering questions and letting certain banned members know when they could come back.
He let Lawrence have it yesterday. Apparently he came quite close to being permanently banned
I saw. :\ Quite honestly, I think everyone’s pretty surprised he’s not banned yet.
I know the type.
He’s cool and all. He can actually be pretty funny. He just keeps borking comments.
That tends to happen when you reply to your own moderated comments. Here it does, at least.
That’s how it is there, too.
no, Lawerence was getting it for blockquote borking and extremely long text posting (we had an idiot spamming Failbook with pages of lorem ipsum text a while back.)
wish they would make the filtering/moderation rules consistent across sites.
We had a Wikipedia troll. The idjit* copied and pasted huge chunks of articles and filled up the comments section.
*It means ‘Idiot.’ It’s Irish. Sure, I’m American, but I love foreign phrases like this.
And then we have the ‘I just paid-’ comments. A few months before that, we had interracial dating site spam.
I assume he’s quit all his borking now?
They always seem to find a way back in.
I saw that NSHA put the definition of “fail” on that one submission (the food bank one?) and realized I remember seeing him last night but it didn’t register who he was thanks to it being late. When I realized that, I also realized that due to my lack of sleep thanks to a teething kid (you gotta love that stage -_-), I was thinking of Aaron the entire time I was saying Andy. *facepalm*
i was wondering why you guys get the “I just paid $40 for a BMW” spam still. we don’t get that on failbook, haven’t seen it on the other sites i lurk on.
Have you ever tried those potato chips with Olestra? If you had ever experienced that anal leakage, you’d be grateful if someone could protect you from it.
I think its a mix of Molestation and Demonstration xP
Actually, it’s molestation, and then castration. They grope your balls, and then they rip them off.
The Texas school system is what? 47th in the US? It shows…
Thanks Governor Perry (of course being a D student himself, I doubt very much he noticed).
All I know is it’s above LA and MS.
How can that be? I thought Texas schools were made from “intelligent design.”
It’s a SOUTH PARK reference.
Facial hair and tattoos here; I get the inseam measuring every time I fly~
Obviously it’s a word used by Barny Stinson.
The possimpible for instance, is the place where the possible and the impossible meet eachother.
Thus molestration, is when one molests someone so hard, it’s also a castration.
f*ck, Barney, not Barny.
Molestation + Administration = Molestration.
I got that right away.
Its a win in my book.
It’s a joke from south park. you know the episide that was a parody of children of the corn
Can’t be a typo, it’s hand written.