Submitted by: Zeke
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Cheezburger Company Blog
Certain people I know would end up raising the prices to $1,000 for a chocolate bar!
Look. All I did was ask if you could please just put down your cell phone long enough to ring up my Snickers bar. And I’m sorry I called you “Miss.” With that long hair of yours and all that jewelry, it was hard to tell.
And that was a $2,000 bill I gave you. You owe me some change.
Um… I don’t work here. And be sure that’s a real $2,000.
At the place I DO work, someone tried paying me with a counterfeit $2,032 bill.
*nods*
I’ve seen those. They look so much like the real $2,032 bills it’s really hard to spot the difference.
I don’t think there IS such a thing as as a $2032 bill. If you got fooled by it, you should really consider getting some help.
Ummm…… Ok…… *Leaves thread*
you’re all winrars
I’ve actually met neutron star material that wasn’t this dense.
Listen, lady, with that attitude, you gonna have to stay the same.
*remembers that change must come from within*
Now, where did I leave my scalpel?
I don’t think self-surgery is a good idea.
Don’t ask me to do it. I have no idea how to do surgery. What’s the difference between anesthesia and euthanasia again?
Nothing but time.
I don’t get it.
Truer words were never spoken.
*puts quarter in slot machine*
*wins elebenty gazillion internets*
Whoo-hoo!
*remembers good friend Gracie*
Here you go, Gracie! Thanks!
*gives Gracie a shiny new quarter*
Oooo! Shinies!!
DOUBLE JINX!
Gracie.
There, better now?
JINX!!
GRACIE!
GRACIE!
GRACIE!
Sowwy I left you hanging like that.
*flees*
Some people would accept it, just to get their fix.
Imagine the prices for a hot sexy huge-rack chick…
Why would a chicken need such a vast spice rack?
And thus KFC was born…
Surely 11 spaces is enough for anyone.
I know a lot of men who really like airheaded, spacy chicks.
I like spacy chicks, as long as we’re talking about sci-fi fans.
I once held the door for Sissy Spacek. There was a lot of air above her head.
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze*
Why would a chicken need 11 U of rack space?
*snork!*
Heehee! It must serve a lot of customers.
However….
Oh silly me, I had forgotten your top customer discount… 100% I believe.
Oh right, like you wouldn’t give GB a discount!!!
And vice versa.
Customers attitudes are subject to change according to prices?
Makes sense to me.
I’m rather tall, so … oh wait, it says attitude …
I’m rather slanted in relation to the three principal axes of an aircraft relative to the wind, to the ground, etc. …
It probably means that you will have to pay much more if you are uncooperative. But I doubt that they give discounts for being nice. They are probably just trying to get anyone who enters the store to be nicer to the employees. Not get less profit because everyone suddenly is behaving a lot nicer. Notice how it says “subject to change”, and not “will change”
I think what Loler is trying to say is you accidenty your ~~
I was trying to say that they probably only raise the prices for customers with bad attitudes, and don’t lower prices for the really nice people.
and…. if im bipolar?
Uhh, I don’t know. Consult your psychiatrist?
Oh.
Good evening. Tonight: “dinosaurs”. I have here, sitting in the studio next to me, an elk.
Miss.
Yeth?
♫ Why are there so many
Songs about lumberjacks? ♫
And now for something with a froggy voice …
Aww..
*gives Gracie soda*
*tickles*
*runsawaysooperfast*
*starts running in slow motion*
*zooms by both Jack and Gracie on a Zamboni*
…And what the heck happened to my sparkly necklace??
…And why is she driving a Zamboni?
*Sees the incoming zamboni*
AHHHHHH!!! DON’T HIT ME!!!
*slips on freshly surfaced ice*
What is this?
*sees sparkly necklace sliding across the ice*
*tries to run after it*
*does Charlie Brown on pitching mound after a line drive reenactment*
Anyone got some first aid and a hammer to get me out of this ice?
And by the way, the necklace got frozen in the ice with me.
Oh, don’t sulk.
Here, want some of my Snickers?
It’s ok. They probably are in an rather violent area, and are trying to protect the customers by making people behave better in the store. But they probably have lower prices too because they can make extra money off of people who are angry. So, they probably have lower prices. Does that cheer you up?
That depends. I know of some hotel employees who do give discounts to nice guests. Especially if you give them food.
Just don’t ASK for the discount, that might just backfire.
Absolutely. It’s funny how hotel guests don’t seem to realise the power a hotel receptionist has. To a sh1tty guest, the only room available is likely to be the tiny one next to the lift machinery and with a view of the car park. For a nice guest, views, newly refurbished rooms, upgrades – all part of the service. And yes (depending on the country/company we work in), we can fiddle the price too – charge you according to a better or worse package deal. Be nice to your hotel receptionists, people, and just see what happens.
The customer is always spite?
Buyer be demure?
Unattended children will be given espresso and a puppy.
HEY MOM DID YOU SEE MY PUPPY THAT LADY GAVE ME A PUPPY AND I’M GONNA TAKE HIM HOME AND CALL HIM SNOODLE AND HE’S REALLY SOFT BUT HE SMELLS FUNNY HEY MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM
My work here is done.
Lol.
Not quite yet.
*hands LCB a shamwow*
Puppy piddle. Just sayin’.
That wasn’t me!
I heart that scene.
Cigars!
Put…ze candle…BACK!
Best movie ever <3
Oh, me too, but I heart Gene Hackman and no matter what badass role he’s playing, I always think about “Cigars!” and laugh. Also swoon. A little.
Pricing WIN!
So let me get this straight. If I have a bad attitude, I don’t get my change back?
If you have a bad attitude, chances are you have bad posture, as well, and you won’t get yourself straight* unless you change your back.
just testing
My tattoo artist has that same sign in his shop. He also has one that says “We do three types of work here, Fast, cheap, and good. You can pick any 2. If it is good and cheap, it will not be fast. If it is fast and good, it will not be cheap. If it’s fast and cheap, it will not be good.”
Win. You should submit a picture of that to failblog.
Seconded.
Awesome.
Ya you better change it
this sign is in seinfeld
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mango
What’s that, you’re a computer geek? That’ll be $13.37, please.
3y3 $33 \/\/h@t y00 |]i|] +|–|@r
They have had one at Beths for ages. nice job reppin your home town Failblog.
Good lord… this kind of tame humor has been around for decades. Is anything remotely amusing now eligible for failblog? Remember when it was actually about fails?
buisness must be good
It’s like this at the tattoo shop I go to.
Also a sign that says, “Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you.” XD
Wow, clicking on see a random fail gives out some lolz!