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» 88 Failures in Communication
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roll on the floor
i don’t mean 2 ply, but what are you doing?
shots
craps
wipe yer a$$! BANG!
It was a war of Northern aggression.
more like an aggression going south!
Put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds two-ply.
the only thing that Becky fears more than plies would be two-plies
I found the original story (I used to work at that paper, I can tell by the headline font).
http://www2.godanriver.com/news/2010/jul/21/reidsville_man_faces_assault_charge-ar-410862/
Myriad Pro for a newspaper font? :\
The man “feces” trial soon
Well, if you buy the cheap stuff it could probably do some damage.
Especially the stuff we used to have at school. The paper cuts still haunt me.
My mom always buys the cheap stuff. There are some things in life that I can get the cheap generic brand, but when it comes to my butt, I need the good stuff.
Wait … what are we talking about again?
Bacon lube.
Not this stuff ^
Most definitely not.
Generic TP is a lot like Chuck Norris: rough, tough, and it don’t take no s**t from nobody!
Toilet paper launcher?
Did it contain a puppeh, a koala or a bear?
it countain the 3 in a row
A bear. And it’s hunting season.
Most importantly, was the toilet paper on top or rolling from the bottom?
*bites nails*
Over easy.
Ooh thank gawd!!
Under!
I remember the Oprah show on “are you and over or an under girl”
Too funny that you can keep a whole country busy with a trivial thought like that.
So, next question
Are you a folder or a buncher?
Buncher.
For me, it depends on the paper. Andrex aloe vera- folder, anything else….buncher.
Trivial???
Trivial????
*hyperventilates*
I prefer over the top at home, but it doesn’t bother me too much when I find it under elsewhere. It does bug me here at work when there are two rolls and one is over and the other is under. What the heck is up with that?
Cleaner with ADHD?
Social experiment. The cleaner wants to know which one is used more.
This is NOT trivial! Over the top is the ONLY logical way! Otherwise, the toilet paper is much harder to grab because the roll itself is in the way and it is by the wall and you’re sitting there with crap on your ass trying to get the godd*mn paper in your hand and there’s people wondering what the hell is going on and before you know it you’ve turned to heroin to cope!
I prefer to use chocolate as my coping mechanism.
When it’s over, some people’s cats like to play with it. I’ve never had that problem, but a few of my friend’s cats do it.
Not to offend anyone here but …
I recall a stand up comic some years ago telling the story of who he and his wife were working on the quality of communication, starting with looking to express openly their feelings about their preferences.
He said to her, “You know what I’d appreciate, is if you would put in the toilet paper rolling from the top. That’s how they do it in hotels, and they’re the professionals.”
And she said to him, “What I would appreciate is a man with more on his mind.”
Yeah, tell me that again when he leaves the seat up.
Material of choice for his spit wads?
I think some sort of wad was involved, yes.
Why so excited? He was just spitballing some ideas at her.
Heh, he must have been the cheap kind of husband, he probably married her with coke can rings.
What can you do? He was a Scotts man.
In the military we found one guys collection of “spit wads” under his bed next to bacon lube. No idea why he didn’t throw them away or flush them.
He was keeping track.
explain…..
Ellipses — typically printed “…”, but also potentially “- -” or “***” — are used in printing to indicate an omission or suppression of letters or words.
Explain what you mean.
tp or not tp — that is the question
In my house were too poor too afford toilet paper because we focus on the neccesities in life like the laptop im using as an example
Man argue: Women have a crappy face!
Women argue: Man has sh!tty outlook.
Hahahaha!
Has anyone ever wondered why they stopped making the yellow, pink, green and blue toilet paper? No? It’s just me?
Dying is bad for the enviroment.
So, going green isn’t really going green?
Yeah, ha ha! Who would think that just because something is green in color, it’s environmentally friendly! HA!
*gives up plan of having environmentally friendly house*
*mutters about returning 25 gallons of green paint*
Hang on…dying is great for the environment, dyeing, not so good…
Unless hue have microbes that are dying!
Decomposers and detritovores would beg to differ!
Food web says colour me happy! Nomnomnom!
White is easier and only making one colour expands profit margins. (less dyes, packaging types etc)
Plus white goes with all colours of bathroom.
Oh yes, and you don’t get little girls stealing the toilet paper to make dresses for their dolls….or was that just me?
And a bit itchy to some.
(I’m no party pooper.)
Isn’t white also dyed somehow? Although tp in natural brown might not be so appealing.
no dyeing also eliminate some female infection problems.
Chuck Norris can shoot with toilet paper!
That’s McGyver dude
I want to learn this man’s kung fu.
Ok, weird question for you. How exactly do you shoot T.P.? Do you load it in some special gun?
*shrugs*
I have been shot by a rizla from an air pistol, so I am thinking along those lines.
One of those T-shirt launchers?
a “Black Powder” pistol will fire a wad of paper of the correct size
Why?
Why does all the really bizarre sh*t happen in my home state?
I got ya beat…Reidsville is the town I grew up in. *sigh*
About 80% of my family is either from Reidsville or ended up in Reidsville and I spent almost every summer there for the first 22 years of my life. We’re probably about even….
Glad I was born in Havelock and raised in GA.
Shot by toilet paper? What a sh!tty way to go…
I hope he didn’t flush the evidence.
Hello Xilver! Your service to the club is Xterling!
They’re making guns and toilet paper in the form of bullets now?
Comment fail. I meant…
They’re making toilet paper in the form of guns and bullets now?
Better get some more toilet paper!
Only here in North Carolina…
ya i know right! thats in my city… not sure if im too proud about that.
they see me rollin’, they hatin’, Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty.
Was she the great mighty poo?
balaawan. aurite!
she must have had a s**tty attitude
It was just payback…
…after she wiped his ass with a .45