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Nobody says 1st~
blaspheme anyone?
Definitely Blaspheme :-/
Meh – It just looks like that kid REALLY loves Jesus.
And notice how at the top of the sticker, it says ‘Touchme’
i saw that
LMFAO!! the best part is that above on the circle of writing it says TOUCHME – Toucnoasis Ministry! XD
FIRST!!
you need a repentance
No, he needs to be crucified.
no, he needs to take a swig of Michael Jackson’s Jesus Juice,
first
fail
blow the trompet of salvation my kid!
*trumpet
…and feel it’s warm salvation on your face.
I knew there was something funny about religion…
FIRST AT LAST!
FAIL
Actually a Biblical win. A literal fail, perhaps, but definitely a win overall.
Seriously dude? A Biblical win? I bet you’re some sort of Christian who thanks this is somehow heart warming. Get good… And get eyes.
Clearly, dude, you didn’t thank much about your spelling… And get eyes.
*clearly, dude, you didnt think much about your spelling… and get some eyes
The dripping clears everything up.
hahaha
FIRST
imma first
Gag if you love Jesus.
No, swallow if you love Jesus.
But only if its true love, otherwise spit it in a tissue, for Jesus. And don’t tell anyone about this.
Good one.
All religious leaflets are fail though, since religion simply is fail.
As statement of absolute truth? Clearly you must be god. The fail is yours.
You are both incorrect, for I are god.
as i scrolled down i read the amazing amount of blaspheme. ok so if you are god, why wouldnt you bring about the second coming of Christ and not post on failblog. let me answer that for you, because simply you are not god. besides, i spell the real God with a capital G out of reverence to Him. And claiming to be God is utter foolishness, and is worthy of being stoned to death on the outskirts of the town in Bible times. now what of it, people think it laughable. and you think youre funny.
I’m God.
You’re an idiot.
As you can see, I am god. I spell it with a lower case g, because superstitious bulls**t doesn’t fly with me.
Who shall throw the first stone? Let it be the one who has never sinned. Granted, in Biblical times, Jesus himself asked this question and even then, not one person stepped forward and the guy doomed to stoning was set free.
It was actually a woman who had been condemned for being caught in the act of adultery. Jesus challenged the crowd to let the one who was without sin cast the first stone. One by one the crowd dispersed. Jesus asked her who was left to condemn her. She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” Some people use this as a lesson in nonjudgmentalism but ignore or downplay the command to sin no more; others emphasize the injunction against sin but downplay the command to look at ourselves before condemning others.
Yet others make their own mind up without needing to intepret a storybook into a rule book.
“second coming” = drips
The second “coming” of Christ?
Wanna get stoned?
…Get it? Ha ha. Oh, I’m having fun.
Stand up for what you believe – never be intimidated by loudmouth scoffers:-)
His email and phone are going to be spammed to hell (lol).
I see what you did there.
fail 1 touchme touchoasis ministry
fail 2 blow the trumpet of salvation
fail 3 pedo christ
3 fails you’re out
fail 3 pedo christ? Only to perverted mind like those who post stuff like this.
Seriously. It’s a stretch, at BEST. Not to mention, as I said in a different comment, I don’t think pedo jokes are funny, rather they’re disgusting and tasteless.
A stretch? It’s blatantly obvious!
I can only think the artist must be a prankster.
We think you’re disgusting and tasteless. He’s getting blown by a child! No need to stretch to see that! Randomreader wins
Um, no He’s not. He’s bent over too far for that to even be possible.
Only with a mind as filthily disgusting as yours.
You need Jesus Christ to free you from your sinful decadence.
Or: people need to not get so uptight about their mythology. Jesus and God are just modern-day analogues for Greek and Roman gods; simply nothing more than a story meant to teach, and inspire. And somehow you crazy religious kooks can’t even get that right(as most of them are stupid, and the only thing inspired about them is their hatred of those different from themselves).
You may classify Christianity as mythology, but that is your choice for yourself. You have no rational basis for so doing. Fully 2 billion people consider Jesus to be Lord.
The “crazy, stupid” ones are those using a harmless (if slightly suggestive) image to regale themselves over a nasty subject like paedophilia. Irrational behaviour, if you ask me! And not objecting to it makes YOU the kook!!
lol touch me
I want to feel your salvation all over my face.
You, good sir, get + 40 coolie points for your epic reply win. *thumbs up*
so i hope you guys who post anti Jesus and anti God like the idea of eternally perishing.
I hope you Christians are okay with the fact you might be wasting your one chance at life by being a hardass.
I am totally cool with it (I outrank you on the holy ladder). Oh, and it’s with a lower case g. Why, you ask? Because I f’ing said so.
It would be great if you religious nuts could get it through your skull that not believing in god means not believing in hell. If there is no god, there is no hell. Therefore we aren’t worried about it in the least. I know this is hard for you to understand. But it should be an easier concept than evolution and science, so maybe you should try to start with it. No god= no hell. Work on that for a bit, k?
not all religions teach hell. There are some christian religions that believe that hell isn’t a biblical teaching.
Joking about something is not the same as being anti-Jesus or anti-God.
God actually has a sense of humor, and there’s secretly a level of hell for people who take themselves and religion too seriously.
You know, I hope this is true. There are so many people that deserve to go to that kind of hell.
I hope you know that your religion is not the only one. So please, keep it to yourself.
when someone says “what would Jesus do” think of this =D
Oh, I think there are better things to think of when someone says that… *clicky*
when someone says what would jesus do, i say mow my lawn
You’re my hero.
Touchoasis #win
Omg O__o
oh, jesus christ!… I mean… omg… just the same
– well, it is weird and totally fail! :S
Jesus Christ is the savior of this universe, and saying oh my God, the one who created the universe is complete blasphemy, so why would use those names so loosely. Suppose you were in a knight in the dark ages, and you used the kings name to describe crappy situations, and you did so openly and blatantly. What do you think the king will say to you, Well done Good and Faithful Servant. By no means (basically, no he wont because) he will have you publicly executed or sent out of his lands at best. Do you think God is going to be ok with you using his precious name for such folly, by no means. so maybe you can turn your life around, so that you may plead with him for mercy through Jesus.
Wow, it’s amazingly disturbing how you think name calling should result in the beheading of someone… What’s next, you feel that anyone who steals a candy bar should be sentenced to jail for life?
Then Christians wonder why nobody likes their faith.. hmm…
I don’t wonder. I know, rather. I was born Christian but since becoming an adult have questioned various things in the religion. While I have not converted to atheist, I do disagree with some of the religious things, though the Bible itself (New Testament in particular) is a good collection of teachings of how one should live regardless of religion.
You’re kidding, right?
You seriosuly believe that there is an invisible man in the sky watching what every single person is doing every second of every day?
wow
No, he is using Satellites and GPS these days. He is no longer in the sky.. he resides at the Oasis.
DON’T DO IT DON’T DO IT DON’T DO IT OH GOD IT’S TOO LATE
Well, to some of us, your religious beliefs are an impediment to human advancement, and the blasphemy you complain about is a non-issue.
I suppose “blasphemy” is in the eye of the beholder, no matter how much you pretend that you know more about “God” than other people with equally strong beliefs of various types.
If there is a God, I rather doubt he would be that petty. You, on the other hand, seem a perfectly qualified to know His mind.
“If there is a God, I rather doubt he would be that petty”
Well… there is this whole concept of “Hell”.. Ya know, roasting in a pit for all eternity..
But He can’t be that selfish and petty, can He?
Derp?
*reading…reading…reading…rading…*
*stops here to insert one small bit of wisdom, with hope that you’ll take it, and live by it for the rest of your life*
…dude, dont be such an ass
It’s funny because it looks like Jesus is forcing the guy but Jesus would never do such a thing! And they didn’t draw it that way on purpose!
Wow, didn’t they? Who would have thought…?
No, Jesus wouldn’t force the kid… he would have enticed him with sweetmeats and then told him that he could save the world by blowing the “trumpet of salvation.”
Yeah… gives a whole new meaning to putting the Body of Christ in your mouth. nice fail.
OMG! After the scandals with the priests, this look terrible..
“touchoasis@yahoo.com”
did anybody notice that this is the email for that card?
-Evil
It gets better when you look higher: “touchme”.
I guess by now they’re like “ah what the hell, everybody knows what it’s all about anyway”
Hahahahaha
Christians are just a club of child abusers with some brainless followers.
Way to troll!
Get on ur knees child and praise the lord.
Best. Troll. Ever.
orginally this was maria but the changed the graphic
This should be prosecuted, it’s sick, so obviously pedophile, i wonder if it wasn’t fake.
freedom of speech. You fail.
Repentance? Forgive me lord for I haaah searhhh *spit*
This is only a fail because the child couldn’t talk all of the lords load! LOL
And what a Holy Load it is.
What would Mohammad do?
Ask his child bride.
Hey, at least Muhammed was into girls! 8-year-old girls, but still girls!
How does that make it any better?
The name, the trumpet quote AND the picture? This HAS to be fake surely?? No one’s that naive, not even fundamental christians.
You’d be suprised.
Sometimes people, even the most intellegent people, are just… well dumb.
Who ever made this up was probly so proud of their work they just didn’t see it, call it self delusion and/or a mental block.
Oh puhlease. If this is real, I’m the pope.
And truth be told, if this IS real, and if I were the pope, I’d make them suck it too. Because I could. Because my followers would be idiots.
“touchme”, it seems the kid took a step further than that.
Proof that Jesus was Catholic.
Faked leaflet is faked.
OOOOOOOOH! So that’s where the catholic priest pick that up. now it makes sense.
Jesus was a Catholic priest?
Fail blog fail. I dare you to do this with a picture of Mohammad.
Why? It’s practically the same picture only with a different head, maybe change the robes up a bit.
Is it just me, or is something dripping from the area in question?
Uh, seriously?
1) The “kid” looks pretty grown-up to me. He’s kneeling, and if standing, probably would be much taller than a child.
2) The angle is all wrong.
This is a REAL stretch, people.
Not to mention that I just don’t understand why anyone laughs at pedo jokes, assuming this really is a child as everyone thinks he is. That’s one thing that I just don’t find funny. At all.
Dude, stfu. You’re ruining a perfectly good fail.
And you wonder why atheism is so unattractive.
It cohabits with such gutter humor, it’s repellent.
if you’re offended by this, you’re probably on the wrong site. this site is dedicated to lauging at other people’s misfortune. In the past, this site has had a picture of a black doll being hung by it’s neck in a shop, truck crashes, unintenitional racism and sexism, and a load of other offensive stuff. it’s funny because something innocent unintentionally implies something terrible, nobody thinks sexism, lynching, traffic accidents and paedophilia itself are actually.
If it wasn’t such a stretch, I’d leave it alone. And it really is.
If you’re offended by my comment, you don’t have to comment back, you could follow your own advice and ignore it and move on, as you seem to want me to do.
And I hardly think I’m ruining anything simply by having a differing opinion than you do.
But my main point was not that I was offended about a pedophilia joke, but rather that this “fail” is a stretch. A lot of these “things that are doing it” pictures are like that. That’s what bothers me more than anything. I would personally not have even thought anything sexual about this picture had it not been posted here. Be it Jesus or whoever else it might be in the picture.
Your comments forcing moral consciousness left and right are such a stretch.
Go get a career in politics. Or religion. Which is the same, only more juicy, see reference image above.
same
that (the same) was meant for ClariPossum
How could you not see that? Have you ever experienced felatio before? If i saw that ANYWHERE i would think “that little boy is giving head to Jesus”
Is your real name ‘Buzz Killington’ by any chance?
Because I don’t have a dirty mind, that’s why. What I see when I look at this is a man weeping and Jesus comforting him. That’s all. Again, the man’s face is at least a foot away from touching anywhere near where it would need to be for this to be sexual.
Brilliant takedown.
But why talk sense when idiocy is preferred?
stfu you moron
Why, glass house?
Looks more like truth in advertising to me.
Must be the 7th day…
Double fail….toucheme ministry….
Don’t know if the flyer’s real, but the image olso shows up on this page for St. John’s Catholic church in Chester, OH :
http://www.stjohnwc.org/father-linh/repentance-15th-sunday-year-c
WTF?!?
Oh yeah, thats gooood.
Repent.
REPENT!
Real men love Jesus – enough to swallow!
If my sins can be forgiven this way… I’m good for a long time.
I don’t think you can absolve sins beforehand. Meaning you have to keep doing it for rest of your life. And the man/men in question will be grateful for it.
I hope my man never reads this.
wow who know that to show your love of christ you must gag on one….come to think of it someone asked me to repent and spilled the holy white liquid of christ on me
Good think that’s not Mo. Of course, you’d never have the balls to post something like that.
I am looking at tears, right?
They should brig back crucifixion as the penalty for being a pedo, it worked 2000 years ago!
What the hell? There’s even stuff ‘dripping’ from the kid’s face…
I’m a Roman Catholic (branch of Christianity) and I find this very offensive. I got this in an e-mail. This should be taken down along with anything else religiously offensive. To ANY religion, not just to Christianity.
I find the picture offensive too! We should take down the people who made the picture. Down with ANY religion, not just Christianity.
YES. I love you, so, so much!
Why does religion get to be spared satire and criticism? If you are sure in your beliefs why would this bother you? If your god can’t take the heat and is offended by this, maybe he needs some thicker skin. If he is the “real God” I’m sure he has bigger things to worry about than this picture.
Come to think of it, I’m offended too! It should be taken down along with anything offensive to ANY supersition. Unless they replace the drawing of the kid with a coed in a thong.
superstition. Sorry. I stand by my thong, though.
“It’s a free world! Let’s suppress and oppress anyone that thinks differently than me!”
If you can’t take the heat, then just GTFO and let others have all the fun. You choose to be offended by sticking around and allowing it to bother you.
Dude, are you really so thick that you miss Irony when it equates religion to superstition and suggest that it would be better to have a picture of a girl in a thong giving J.C. a hummer?
You miss so many obviously satirical posts that it makes one question your cognitive abilities.
What do you mean “Down with ANY religion, not just Christianity.”?
Funny. All this time I thought Jesus was Jewish. Now I see he was catholic.
Why the heck would people make a sex joke out of something like this? How depressing.
more like anatomy fail, look how short his leg is.
Now, I’m a full-time heretic but this shocks even me. I think it’s the “tears” that put it over the top. Epic.
Blasphemy: it’s a victimless crime.
Say that at the end of your life on this earth…
FIRST! FTW
I have a good sense of humor about things and am not a prude, but this one goes waaay over the line.
Then maybe you should re-evaluate your opinion. To you, it goes way over but to others it does not. The line is not set in stone.
And you should not?
touchme.
haha extras.
LAST! (or aren’t I)
ok, to me this picture is just made of fail. Look at the name of the ministry, “Touchme – Touchoasis”. And then the picture of the kid apparently being forced to perform a specific act on jesus…at least these priests are doing a fairly good job of informing parents of exactly what they’re doing to their kids.
I think you are wasting your lives by posting these things.
Although i do agree that this does look strange especially with dripping liquids and his head in jesus’ crotch but it takes twisted and perverted thoughts to think of it that way.
You people are sick
ok, i’m a christian and i must say, this is too damn funny. my fellow believers, get a sense of humor.
its michael jacksons webpage!
o yes o yes o me yes
This is how you get the spirit of jesus in you! I am an atheist and frankly This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on this site! XD
I knew repentance was bitter, but salty?
thats disturbing
I think this is fake. I mean, “Touchme – Touchoasis Ministries”? There is no way that’s for real.
you guys insist that jesus is a pedo . what dumbasses you are . even though youre satanists, athesits , or whatever , dont piss christians off. they might crucify you .
1. Jesus is leaning over the boy so it doesnt really look like hes blowing the trumpet of salvation.
2. Sure you can laugh at this, but making satanist jokes at it ? just stop.
wow, maddox, you’ve changed