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Slow-o with a smile
I appreciate a nice smile first thing in a thread.
You should just ease into it.
It’s too early for that.
That’s what I’ve been told.
How about a slowo gin fizz?
FIRST COMMENT!
Fail…
Life fail
Can whomever moderates these sites ban the childish ass-grabbers that waste all of our time with the “first” “second”, etc BS?
Thanks much.
First!
Fail too.
Life fail too
Man, you must love saying that. You’ve done it twice already!
Is that mean that we should love everything we do twice? 0_o Cause I probably was bite by a mosquito more then twice..
Or at the third time it’s cancel the ”you mulst love it”?
thats what happens when you sit behind a desk.
Exactly,hitit. There’s much better things to do behind a desk.
Just make sure it’s not an open front desk.
But it’s okay to have the lap top turned on?
Only if you have a big enough hard drive and the right amount of ram.
What size is your memory stick?
Who’s going to check how many bites the good drb ☼ has on his lap top?
*snork* It’s a great machine, but I only use it for wordprocessing
I’m sorry, but all I can think of now is, “Come to dada base.”
Hahaha *logs-off* but I could never ry-boot
*squeezes*
Drive empty
Abort retry fail?
*Squeeze*
Yay Brewski!
*ponders whether to break into champers stash*
Do et!
CONGRATS BREWSKI!!!!!
Woohoo Brewski!
Who is that buff chap at the end? He looks familiar!
Ah, just like old times, with all the gate crashers. And all the idiots who assume gender has any relationship to driving ability.
*squeezes all the peeps*
That wasn’t a woman?
*fleeingSqueezie*
*squeezes*
Champers?
Champers!
*holds out bucket*
*pours in orange juice*
It’s still early, babe.
The sun is over the yardarm somewhere in the world!
Yup!
*holds out carafe*
Fill’er up sistah!
*fills Carafe*
*holds out washtub*
OK, maybe that is overkill.
*holds out 10-gallon hat*
*watches as only another 5 gallons fits in*
You have an 80 pint head…..wow
*fills*
Good job I ordered a crate of balthazars
*opens more bottles*
*fills bucket*
*bukkits*
Glug glug glug!
Yip Yippee Brewski!!!
*releases the confetti*
*doesn’t ask from where*
*squeezies the powerful Brewski*
Oooh, you been workin’ out, babe?
*click*
16-oz curls, several repetitions!
Impressive guns!
WAITDA MINUTE! It gets lite’r each time!
Gotta love a man who sticks to a daily exercise regimen!
It takes dedication.
Congrats Brewski!
*Tips hat to Brewski*
Fill’er up!
*dusts down the ol’ jeep*
*leads parade with floats*
*huge fireworks*
*marching band plays (badly, as they haven’t done so for weeks)*
*jet fly by, etc.*
*applauds*
*squeezes*
*bows*
*lets go of steering wheel*
*crashes into onlookers*
*huge explosion, etc.*
You know that’s not the safe word, silly.
Flibbertigibbet.
Oh my. Was that an order?
*flibbertigibbets*
*click*
*leaves note for GBF in cloning lab*
“Have tweaked machines,
Please avoid heavy lifting, toffee and porcupines”
*rushes to the scene*
My god, I knew I never should have let him go on that tour of the toffee factory after his 5 hour workout with his pet porcupine, spike! It’s a catastrophe!
*breaks down in tears*
Those poor clones never last long.
Plus adding nitroglycerine to the process is possibly a reason for their, erm, tempremental behaviour….. maybe?
They always end up shaken. Not stirred.
Diamonds like the original are forever.
And also a girls best friend
*sings* Shine on you crazy diamond!
Wait, I thought BOBs where a girl’s best friend.
Whut? I can’t have two best friends?
I didn’t even think of it like that. I supposed you can.
Diamond studded BOB?
♪ Love on the rocks. . . ♪
Well that is gonna chafe… *winces*
*Pats BFF*
It’s okay kiddo. There’s plenty more where that came from.
*Hears several explosions off in the distance*
Er. . . would you believe, a few more?
*Watches as a BFF clone speeds past in a burning jeep*
Well. . . I’m sure you have some still in production.
he watch, it you almost made me spill my champagne!
You know how much trouble I had trying to get some of that in a glass in the first place.
*holds up her glass with a hopeful look
Sweety, that’s your cup
(‘grats Brewski! You inspired my pantless thought down further!)
Ok, Ok.
*Drags out a bottle from the secret refridgerated compartment under the armoury*
*pops cork*
*pours*
Eh I’d prefer it in my glass nor down my shirt
*looks down at her soaked champagne-shirt
*fills glass*
*sigh
Picky, picky!
Actually that would be sticky, my shirt now clings to me like it has abandonment issues.
*hands over new shirt*
Do you want a number for a laundry psychotherapist?
Oh, I do! My underpants have issues with my cr…
crumpet?
Crane?
crap?
Go for it. We’re all friends.
Public defecation is frowned upon … at least where I come from.
♪*squeezeGropes*♪
Use that potted plant over there.
*points
Oh that’s embarassing.
*goes to trim*
Cranberry?
Crowds?
Craftsmen?
Croupier?
Crankypants?
Cropdusting?
Crumping?
Croutons?
Crafts! Definitely! I know she’s been working on some.
Crampit?
Will this everlasting chain ever end?
Umm so why didn’t he open the door?
Mebbe he isn’t wearing pants?
Why didn’t he back up?
Mebbe he was afraid of a rear-end collision. Which would explain the no-pants thing.
I think you’re right…and he has junk in his trunk from earlier, and doesn’t want to back-up again and damage the rear.
So, he went for the head-on collision.
This guy’s social life is WAY more active than mine.
Maybe he was breaking away from convention….and wearing a mini
I heard he wants to upgrade. Maybe he’s getting a hummer.
I thought you had to pay through the roof for those, especially for the topless models.
Suspension gets expensive.
Plus it is exhausting.
It comes with a muffler.
Though you may loose your bearings after paying for it.
True, but you can really rev those up.
Don’t over-rev it, or the head will need to be re-worked.
You don’t want to blow a gasket.
That’s not too hard, if you have the right tools.
…and no one grilling you constantly, then looming over you menacingly.
Hate to break the thread, kids, but the innuendo machine has gone up in a massive fiery explosion, and a couple of the sisters sites have caught on.
Ya might want to turn it down a little.
*squeeze*
Innuendo?
Not today sweetie!
Not in my endo!
*slaps EXIT ONLY sign on end*
*adds sparkles to exit sign*
So, I was the only one reading sexual meanings into that?
I…uh….maybe I better get back to work….
Perhaps you should call Mr Goddess toooo…ya know, have ‘lunch’ today since your mind is elsewhere.
*squeezie*
Ohh I just re-read that thread. Gosh DG. Durdy.
Apologies….was I the only one doing that intentionally then….
Not just you K@!
*squeezes DG and K@*
Oh, what the heck!
*squeezes DrB too*
*hangs his guilty heads*
err…wait. Have I missed something? Don’t we have truckloads of innuendo machines?
Hang on, let me check.
*drives down to the warehouse*
*speeds back with jeep on fire*
RUN! EVERYTHING! ON FIRE! THE MACHINES! THEY’VE -
*collaspes*
*watches as General BondFan4518 collapses
*takes another sip from her champagne
Hmm that doesn’t look good
The machines have obviously got the hump…..
*ominous rumble echoes through the blog*
uh-oh
*freezes*
*Breaks into thread*
Come with me if you want to live!
…..*looks at Marius*
Why are you nekkid? Did you forget to beat someone up for clothes?
[as they all come with Marius...then sleep happily everafter]
Damn it! I knew stealing the emperor’s cloths was too easy.
@ drb: Rise of the machines?
@Marius: Just when you think it’s all over…they rise and come back.
Someone fed them viagra?
I’ll be back.
Woman. Of course.
Where is that pink sparkly bat when you need it
Here. Had it in my closet. I was … er … practicing.
Well go practise some more!
OT: Doctors find pea plant growing in a mans lung…..
Is that a bit like a spider in your mouth?
JINX!!!!!!!!!!!!
MerQueen!
MerQueen!
MerQueen!
*runs to rinse out mouth again*
That story gives me the creepy crawlies.
Mmmm?
What? Does it need salt?
We like to spice things up.
*adds cumin*
We sure do!!
Now, again.
*adds crushed red pepper*
*tastes* ♪♫♪♫♪
*giggles* ♪
*adds curry*
*stirs pot* ♪♫
That flavor’s developing.
*turns heat up* ♪
*adds tumeric*
Nearly ready.
*sits the dish on the bench* ♪♫
*marinates* ♪
*tastes again* ♪♫
Oh that’s ready.
*serves* ♪
I just don’t know…. I think I would prefer the plant, at least it is vegetable, not animal.
*nods*
*sympathetic veg head squeeze*
Safe clicky above for the story.
Wow, at least the guy has a sense of humor about it.
Wow! I will be sure not to have pea soup at their home.
How about the potato chowder?
Did the vicar make it?
In which case, I would have the chowder sans potatoe.
Link or it didn’t happen
Click my name. Ask and you shall receive.
A true self supporter
Yeah, I saw that, too. His lung was full of peaness.
Your ass is full of peaness O_o
*takes Dirk’s peaness and dips it in boiling pot of BaconLube™*
DipStick!!!
om nom nom nom
Sorry. She’s not on your menu.
Heeee!!!
*squeeze* ♪
*roffles* DG wins the internet!
The enitre internet? Will she allows us to use it?
Of course, sweetie!!! You can all use it.
Awww c’mon i’ll grow some extra big-ass peas for you!
Nah, what we’d really like is if you’d peas off.
Don’t bother. No one will come near your nasty ass!!!
At least YOU know my ass, right?
It was an easy guess. If you had anything good you wouldn’t be begging online.
*snork!*
^5 Marius!!!
Haha, yeah right…
*can’t resist to check on Google*
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?
There are two things that are infinite: The universe and human stupidity (by Einstein).
Anyone else reminded of that Mr. Bean episode?
Which one?
At the moment all I can !magine is the one where he changes out of his underwear, into his trunks, without taking his pants off.
But again, I think that may be Brewskis influence.
I love the one in the park where he makes himself a sandwich
I was thinking of the one where he attempts to exit a multi story carpark via the entrance because the exit fee is hideously expensive, and ends up driving into a car coming in, just so he can avoid paying.
I like his dryness in Blackadder!
Dry? Then he must need more BaconLube.
They did a thongs study and determined that women should avoid them because the thin strip causes infections and skin cracking. Who paid for this study and why don’t they know BaconLube™ exists?
Apparently it’s surprisingly easy to get research grants.
*shrugs*
Took me months. Commando is the only way to go.
Life is short.
Play naked!
But when you try to go to work naked….you get fired.. (mostly)
I said “play”, silly.
*boops K@ onna nose*
Why am I not surprised that that came out of your mouth?
Hee! I saw a car sticker this morning of a naked Calvin with that saying. It made me grin and giggle. I think I need that.
You’ll certainly grab the attention of other drivers on the road.
DG!
*roffles*
Re: GBF4518 – yes, he drove out through the entrance and sent a Reliant Robin flying to avoid paying. On the way in, he was in the same situation as the doofus in the clip above – so used a long-handled pair of tongs to post his money into the meter. Clever solution I say!
Dejavu?
Is this post serious? That video is like six months old.
It’s failblog, what did you expect? Posting wins as fail, and horribly old videos is default.
LMFAO
I saw it coming.
Last!!!
BTY the video is oooooooooooooooooooold
How many times do we have to go over this? Automatic transmissions are NOT your friend.
I love how the wind-shield wipers are on.
so i first clicked on it and saw david hasselhoff and i got really confused, then i realized it was a commercial… second, ive always wondered… are companies allowed to do that? take their security camera footage and post it on youtube?
FINALLY, this video was actually really funny
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