Comments on: Research FAIL

By: Seanfailed9445

Seanfailed9445 — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 02:15:11 +0000

Because dumbasses are shooting them….

By: BuzzelUzzen

BuzzelUzzen — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 20:50:13 +0000

Maybe all the Homosexual Nerophiliac rape is killing them off. They’re murdering each other to get off on their fetish.

Jeffrey Dahmer duckies are going to be the next new toy craze.

By: duran

duran — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 14:59:17 +0000

they were dying of curiosity ^_^

By: G. James

G. James — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 20:26:24 +0000

Milk off a duck’s back
Oil off a duck’s back
~~Acid off a duck’s back~~

By: Belinski

Belinski — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 19:24:22 +0000

Monogamy? Ducks are known to rape each other quite violently, hunting down unwilling partners. There’s even a documented case of homosexual necrophiliac rape (which won an Ig).

If they practice monogamy, they clearly need a lot more practice.

By: Marrii

Marrii — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 14:01:20 +0000

OH, OH, OH, OH! I now!!!!!!!!!!!!

He killed them..

fail

By: ThatKidDackall

ThatKidDackall — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 11:02:39 +0000

they would say they practice monogamy wouldnt they?

By: WoZZy - Marius's stalker

WoZZy - Marius's stalker — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 09:21:27 +0000

‘extreme funny ski epic fail!’ think you did a typo there

By: Azkyroth

Azkyroth — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 04:53:58 +0000

Science journalism fail.

Unfortunately, those are a dime a dozen even with inflation.

By: coyote INFJ

coyote INFJ — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 21:23:30 +0000

One year out and doing fine. Started getting my immunization shots.

By: pastamasta

pastamasta — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:24:03 +0000

Which came first, this is a chicken and egg problem… or rather duck and egghead.

By: KinkyTok

KinkyTok — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:21:27 +0000

when he goes to hell for spamming this crap

By: Ari Gold

Ari Gold — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:45:37 +0000

that’s a great idea

By: torchrain

torchrain — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:30:34 +0000

How has your health been coyote?

By: bailflog

bailflog — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 12:33:28 +0000

and where is that “extreme funny” part?

By: Allison

Allison — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 11:59:42 +0000

I think the writer knew what he was saying, which makes it (in my book) a sarcasm win.

By: satsumo

satsumo — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 10:48:29 +0000

My favourite was when Kellogs paid some scientists to reseach why Cornflakes go soggy. Answer: Because they absorb the milk. That’s one giant leap for mankind.

By: satsumo

satsumo — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 10:44:39 +0000

Yeah, that was extremely funny. Because to make something extremely funny you just put the words extremely funny at the start of its title. It dosen’t have to be particularly funny at all, and this isn’t.

I guess you didn’t think it would pass the voting system then?

By: MattH

MattH — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 10:44:02 +0000

These scientists wouldn’t happen to be from the ICR, would they?

By: satsumo

satsumo — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 10:39:29 +0000

Imagine they applied this technique to humans. Somebody dies so they kill a bunch of other people to find out why ‘because it might save more in the long run’.

By: satsumo

satsumo — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 10:33:52 +0000

Mouse should have finished it with a HAHAHAHAHAA BOOM BOOM! You can’t miss a joke with one of them added.

By: deedee13

deedee13 — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 09:46:32 +0000

The Northwest:
Scientists discovered that if a bullet is inserted to someones head using a gun, the person stops responding to further questions and drops dead!

By: Boh

Boh — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 08:52:33 +0000

use fire!

By: Umbers

Umbers — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 08:10:21 +0000

Or the video shows Chuck Norris swimming moments before.

By: Umbers

Umbers — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 08:07:56 +0000

The Southeast:

Scientists eat crackers to see why crackers are being eaten

The Northeast:

Scientists run water to see if water runs

The Southwest:

Scientists throw clocks to see time fly

The Northsouthnorthnorth:

Scientists shave bunnies to examine hare samples

The Southupsouthspinaround:

Scientists splice Granny Smiths and flying critters to create apple fritters

The Spinmerightroundbabyrightroundlikearecordbabyright:

Scientists stop smoking the good stuff long enough to get something done

The Heeltoedoeseydoecomeonbabyletsgobootscoot:

Scientists smoke the good stuff again

The Heeltoedoeseydoecomeonbabyletsgobootscoot Evening Edition:

Lab Burns Down. Scientists plan to study why after munchies

By: baldrick

baldrick — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 07:57:06 +0000

Unless their paper concludes that deaths were mainly due to a fracture of the 3rd and 4th cervical vertebrae.

By: TickTockTickTock

TickTockTickTock — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 07:48:46 +0000

spamming of fail, fail

By: Skii epic fail!

Skii epic fail! — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 07:37:46 +0000

Please check out My new fail video!!

By: Skii epic fail!

Skii epic fail! — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 07:34:13 +0000

Please check out My new fail video!

By: Carl T

Carl T — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 07:31:11 +0000

Yup, makes perfect sense to me. By the time you’ve found the ones who’ve died in the wild (be they ducks or fish), they’ll likely be in a pretty bad state. Heck, they could have all sorts of secondary infections by the time they die, so looking for ones that are infected but not yhet dying makes good sense. As for killing them, well, that _is_ the easiest way to have a good look at their insides, and considered acceptable with fish and fowl (and notably less so with humans).

By: saunuku

saunuku — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 07:25:54 +0000

this seems like a serious situation….

*pulls out troll and anti-AIDS ray gun*

I haven’t been able to use this baby in years, last time was the 1984 Queen fiasco >:)

By: Belsito

Belsito — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 07:14:34 +0000

If they ate something bad, they’d be dead like the others. Why not cut up DEAD ducks to see why they died? If one member of a family dies suddenly, they don’t kill another member to see why the first one died, do they? They do the OBVIOUS thing and post mortem the DEAD one.

By: dantheman

dantheman — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 07:05:39 +0000

Ducks practice monogamy. Wouldn’t AIDS be eradicated or never start in the first place with them?

By: Bartsmom

Bartsmom — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 06:51:48 +0000

For sure. Swimming in Commencement Bay would kill anything.

By: Karin

Karin — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 06:05:18 +0000

Canada geese are a completely different story. You should do some reading before you decide that you’re an expert.

By: Frappo

Frappo — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:24:14 +0000

Maybe the research fail was, in fact, perpetrated by the article’s writer, who, obviously didn’t try to find out why the scientists were killing the birds to begin with.

So yeah, Turned it back into a fail again.

By: coyote INFJ

coyote INFJ — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:12:46 +0000

*quietly inserts a get*

By: H

Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:01:51 +0000

I agree with you.
Also, when animals die of mysterious causes and you suspect different problems could be the cause (like chemicals, diseases, etc.) then the best thing to do is to expose a few animals to the suspected causes and see which one leaves the same evidence on the dead bodies. It seems counter-productive at first, but you may save many more animals in the long run (and perhaps discover a serious ecological problem, such as a leak of toxic chemicals).

Just goes to show many people do not understand how science works.

By: coyote INFJ

coyote INFJ — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 04:58:01 +0000

Well when you down to it …

By: Skabodopododeebobeedadodeedadobeedeebababababayoomdoodeedodo

Skabodopododeebobeedadodeedadobeedeebababababayoomdoodeedodo — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 03:36:06 +0000

thats the joke.

By: Merowl

Merowl — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 03:01:23 +0000

nah, like water off a ……

By: nensondubois

nensondubois — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:59:55 +0000

It’s no better than gassing Canadian Geese so our planes can fly.

By: coyote INFJ

coyote INFJ — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:29:05 +0000

Headline:

SCIENTISTS ARRESTED BY DEPARTMENT OF FISH AND WILDLIFE FOR HUNTING DUCKS OUT OF SEASON

By: Gobind Singh

Gobind Singh — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:27:15 +0000

That looks like one OLD copy of The Everett Herald. The font of the section header and the newspaper name were common circa 1994….

By: coyote INFJ

coyote INFJ — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:26:32 +0000

Yes. I makes me all choked up.

By: coyote INFJ

coyote INFJ — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:25:05 +0000

What a fowl situation to be in.

By: coyote INFJ

coyote INFJ — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:23:47 +0000

I do believe that you missed the joke there.

By: Bettypatch

Bettypatch — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:13:18 +0000

… never been so proud to be from the Northwest… -_-

By: whack n fap

whack n fap — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 01:54:45 +0000

19/5/13 Expect Us

By: Daniel

Daniel — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 01:46:43 +0000

I do know up at the university here that one time they started finding dead fishes at a pond. The research department started catching live fish and killing them to determine the cause of death.

So I guess this newspaper article just worded it wrong. Perhaps they should have said, “Autopsy.”