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Lazy Boy Grandpa FAIL
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Cheezburger Company Blog
The chairman rides in style.
And an adventurer.
Is he actually alive?
That is sooo not how you pose that question on blogs like this.
*fines megalip 25 internets*
Carry on…
Hello! I’m a troll.
*gives Pun-isher Saturday detention*
Harshest punishment yet. But I guess he deserves it.
You misspelled drive.
*wonders what Iron Chef has to with the fail*
*wanders off muttering*
*kicks a ‘do’ into post*
*curses*
*stomps off in a huff*
Har! Too-chee! *squeeze*
Bless you!
Yee HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
I will not take this sitting down!
Ummm…maybe.
Whut? Too forward?
***MASTURBATES***
My eyes!
*offers color safe eye bleach*
Thanks!
I thought it would never go away.
*lurches through the blog*
*drags gore encrusted headstone behind*
*
safety**THWACKS troll repeatedly*
*lurches back through blog*
*drags bloody headstone behind*
There, now you have something coming out of both heads.
Oh the Al Goreness of it all!!!!!
*snoffle*
*waffle*
BLUE WAFFLES!
Sorry, just saw the smurf, and thought, “That’s what they eat for breakfast…”
Ha! Mind over matter.
Not that kind of stool, Dragon!
*cups hands over eyes*
Two dragons one…
Has anyone seen the bukit?
Never mind.
I’m trying to eat lunch here!!!
Failblog diet strikes again.
Sometimes you have to drive them around a little to help them get to sleep.
It looks like the trick worked.
The joke’s on you, we took his hearing aids.
I think you are too late. From the stains on the chair I think he already squirted himself.
Does ANYONE care that I’m eating my lunch right now?!?
Jeesh!
*tickles Jules*
*doesn’t say where*
*pokes*
*doesn’t pay*
;[
*pokes LGB*
*doesn’t say with what*
I’ll never let go!
“I’m king of the wooorrl..pbbtt, bug”
I’m flying, Jack!
How convenient is that you are actually named Jack?
Jack, this comment made me choke on my iced decaf mocha. I shall be seeking reparations. :p
Happy to oblige.
*does not bow*
Damn!
*walks away disappointed*
Your
victimsfriends are getting smarter.I don’t think there was room in the cab for both of these fellows!
Chiller
YAY WIK!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Yip Yippee WIK!!!!!
*throws confetti*
Maybe if we throw a big enough party, she’ll come out of hiding.
Where the heck is she anyway? Is she on FB2?
She is on FB2, and if weren’t for that I’d think she’d dropped off the face of the planet. Come to think of it, she hasn’t been on there much lately either.
I would do it but I am not sure I know what name to look for. I am so embarrassed.
I just sent her a note…hopefully she’ll be able to stop by and join in the celebrations!
The 21st century is so overrated.
*remains timeless*
You’ll take my phone when you pry it from my cold dead fingers!
I volunteer mine. It’s not even a smart phone.
*mutters* Stupid phone.
My phone doesn’t know it’s stupid. She just knows she isn’t smart.
*pops open the Lovely Butterfly champagne*
*pours it into champagne flutes that are engraved with beautiful butterflies*
*hides the rest of the bottles from Leila*
WOOTY-WOOOT, WIK!!!
WOOP! *SUPASQUEEZES!!* It’s been awhile, huh? Miss you guys!
Miss you, too!
Congratulations on your supah-powering!
*squeeze!*
WOOHOOOOO!! Here she is!!
*squeezah-squeezah-squeeeeze!* We miss you, too, sweets.
Thanks for alerting me dragon! I get a buzz every now and then from failpeeps of past. It’s always good to talk to you guys. *dances*
WIKI!!! WIKI!!!! WIKI!!!!
*hugeButterflySqueeze*
*wheels out stainless confetti cannon*
*overloads it with flower shaped confetti*
*
safety**lights fuse, dives for cover*
KA-BOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!
*registers 6.0 on Richter Scale*
*flowers rain down all day*
Congrats WIK!
*Throws hat in the air for WIK*
Do you ever hear from failpeeps of the future? What are they like? Do they still breathe air? Do they have jet packs? They have jet packs, don’t they? I want a jet pack. I want a jet pack and I want it now! *pouts*
Hoverboards. You know, skateboards that hover.
*nods knowingly*
All I want is a Ronald Reagen/Pepsi hologram. Then my future will be complete.
Here you go LCB, parts of it are even shiny.
ht tp://jetlev.com/
Hmph. Fake. You can clearly see the big yellow wire holding the guy up.
*is secretly relieved, what with the fear of heights and all*
*yes, you heard: A cat burglar who’s afraid of heights*
*four words: basement apartments*
*counts*
*tilts head quizzically*
*doesn’t say whose head*
I don’t mind at all, but you should ask first.
*keeps head tilted*
I guess you’re right, that and the pixels should have given it away.
If you’re giving things away, I’d much rather have a neck massage than some stoopy old pixels. Someone tilted my head quizzically and it hoits.
*smiles hopefully, tilts head to enhance cuteness*
OW!
Of course, happy to help out..
*Massages LCB’s neck*
Hey, where did my watch go?
*purrs loudly to cover up ticktocking*
*tries to runawayfast but is too relaxed*
*purrs louder*
How brazen of you! The man is standing right there.
*squeeeeeeze*
Do you prefer the tock or the tick? I can never pick.
*murmurs contentedly*
No, that’s ok. I’ll have the candied seahorses now and we can go out for dinner after the air show in the rumpus room.
*falls asleep*
Did she just say the seamonkey took her shinys?
*retrieves watch*
Yes, she is a natural blue.
*tilts head to side*
I thought she looked a bit more grey than blue.
*shrugs*
Looks like LCB has a case of the 7/14′s.
Take a deep breath, Veruca.
*takes deep breath*
*flouncesawayfast*
Ok, I was obviously mistaken…Veruca is NOT a natural blue!
Yay, WIK!! Congrats!! *SQUEEZE!*
Congratulations, WIK!
*squeeze*
Nice to see you here again!
*giantWIKsqueeze*
WOOTY-TOOT-TOOT WIKI!!!!
*longtimenosqueeze*
So why is that dude flippling Avis?
And by flippling I meant flipping!!
I dunno…flippling sounds more fun!
It’s flipping and stippling combined, a redirecting anger into to art kinda thing. Dip your middle fingers into paint and have at it!
*dips middle finger in paint*
*draws a panda bear’s face on AA’s face*
*presses face into Leila’s cheek*
Please draw right here the type of cheek you are referring to sir.
*InterimSqueeze*
I was hoping you’d say, “does your panda make my cheek look big?”
*squeeze*
Lemme see that paper…
(_x_)
Ummm….*hides it from Leila*
Lemme see!
Lemme see!
*jumps up to reach*
Darn tall dragons!!!
He’s doing what to Avis?
I don’t know but I am not appreciating it.
*poke*
..and then she poked me right here.
*points to doll*
Yeah, but you said that was a good tounch.
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t…
You better do it again so I can be sure.
*poke*
*poke*
Just don’t Flipple me.
We only do that to Avis.
Whatever that may be. I think she might like it.
*hides*
*passes the whipple*
Oooh, Mr. Whipple won’t be happy about that! I can hear him yelling from here…
Oh, don’t worry. I’ll just offer to play whiffle ball with him. He likes that game, right?
DON’T SQUEEZE THE CHAIR, MAN!
What? Did I miss a memo somewhere?
*gives gracie a toof*
Here you go!!! Are we square now?
*pockets toof for later*
*sends Gracie a bill*
Yes please
*opens door*
Hey Gracie, have you seen CJ …
OH GAWD!!!!! 
*click*
*immediately carries it off to DW’s wall*
*looks over ZA’s shoulder*
Oh, whoops, this fell off.
*hands back to ZA*
That looks like a good one. It’ll look good on her wall.
*frames the picture and puts it up right at eye level in the entryway, so it’s the first thing everyone sees when they walk into the store*
Poifect!
You should like wait till night time to do that sort of thing. I am just sayin’. My virgin eyes just can’t handle that.
It’s always night somewhere.
*gives gracie a tooth*
Payment in full!!!
I can’t say I am not offended. It’s fresh outta my mouf.
*turns green*
Aw Dragon! No need to be envious! C’mere! Lemme tie this here string to your toof! The rock? What rock? Oh…don’t worry about that.
*breaks the sound barrier, runningawaywithsuchaquickness*
Wow! I’ve never seen a dragon get away so fast. Must be late for an appointment or something. *shrug* Oh well.
ON SALE — BORKED SOUND BARRIER
Can be sold as parts.
Hmmm, would any of those parts come in useful for repairing the translation machine?
If nothing else, maybe we can use some parts to shore up the STC.
Less talky talk and more of showing me the shiny. Do I have a bidder here? Let’s start with ELEBENTY shiny internetz.
Awwww. I don’t have elebenty internets left. I just tossed 10 internets at WIK downthread.
*checks pockets*
I have three internets, a movie ticket stub, a bent paper clip, and some fuzz.
*offers pocket contents to Leila*
What can I get for all this stuff?
So THAT’S where fuzz went.
*takes pocket contents from NS*
SOLD to the little kitteh over here!!!
*gives NS borked sound barrier and Failblog*
Is that a load of used parts he’s just paid cash for?
Somebody changed the “F” to a “P.”
…hooligans
You…
posted twice today???
THUD!!!!!
Lol yeah! A big step forward in my FB1 rehab.
*squeeeeeeze*
*grabs hold of Mushy’s, erm…’leg’*
You should come here more often.
That gives an entirely different meaning to the second line in her post.
To please point to your leg so I can grab it.
*points to safety leg*
*grabs hold Mushy’s leg*
Please don’t leave. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease. I will be good.
*puppy eyes*
I was treated
Not yet, you weren’t!
*plants smooch on Mushy cap*
*tickles gills*
*buys fertilizer*
*spreads evenly all over*
I was rocked.
Do not. I repeat, DO NOT tounch his safety leg Sis. He will trick you too.
*tounches safety leg*
*tounches again*
*rubs vigorously*
Hmmm. I see what you mean, sis. There are spores all OVER the fail! :O
Too late, LeiLei
I believe the words LGB used were all over.
The mushy army is complete.
*contented sigh*
I love you both so much!
*foreversqueezesMushyandLeila*
Aaaaaaaaaw!!! I miss you calling me Lei Lei.
*grabs Mushy squeezes like he’s never squozen before*
*skipsawayhappy*
Alright, who smashed open a troll head?
*rents room*
*orders two beds and a planter*
*buys champagne and chills*
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
*squeezieSisandMushy*
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Dibs on the bed by the window!!!!
*checks pay-per-view listings*
Hmmm, can’t decide between Legally Boned and Glad He Ate Her….
NO MUSHY!! We’re watching Star Wars Episode ELEBENTY!!!!!
Do the three of you need a video recorder?
*rents camcorder and tripod*
*sets in corner of room*
*pours champagne*
*sips champagne*
That’s kinda weird! Why would anyone want to watch us three watching Star Wars Episode ELEBENTY?
*turns boombox on*
*♪ bow-chicka-wow-wow ♫ plays*
*gets out large steamer trunk*
*opens lid*
Who wants to be the Storm Trooper?
*dances to bow-chicka-wow-wow*
Uh! ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!
Rule number 34.
Well, I was going to suggest Mushy, since he’s short, and I thought he’d be good as “Luke.”
*hands Leila skimpy Princess Leia costume*
Why don’t you try this one, instead?
*sets-up studio lights*
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I get dress as a princess with the same name as me?
*puts on skimpy Princess Leila costume*
*adds an ultra-shiny tiara on head*
How do I look?
Weekend at Bernie’s; Redneck Edition.
Wasn’t this a sequel? The one after his housekeeper and before his dog?
I don’t think I want to know what anything is that exists between a housekeeper and a dog.
Only the legends, ZA, only the legends.
FOR SALE – One slightly used Grandpa. Good condition just needs a tune up. Best offer.
You know if you part him out, you’ll get more for him.
But I am not dead!
Well, she will be soon, she’s very ill.
But she wants to go for a walk!
I feel happy …
I feel happy …
No she’s not, she’ll be stone dead in a moment.
Well, when’s your next round?
*nods* And that way you can still surprise Grandma with an umbrella stand made from his leg.
I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith…
What’s the name of his other leg?
*laughs hysterically up to the ceiling*
So, what is the name of his other leg? I’ve been waiting don’t you know?
*SKA_WEEEZE!*
*is very glad that more than one person got that*
That happens to be my dad’s favorite movie. He was pretty excited to see my son watching it when he came over the other day.
♪When we take him in the truck, we put him in the bed♪
♪When we get him home, we pick the bugs off his head♫
♫ You might think he’s sleeping he’s actu-ally dead, and that was the story of Grandpa Jed. ♫
That is all kindsa win!!!!
They don’t call it “lazy” for nothing
I’ll call it lazy for 10 internets.
*tosses WIK 10 internets*
Would be a lot safer to turn her around.
The truck? The grampa? Who? Who?
Who indeed.
Whom?
Yes.
that’s a WIN not a fail. That’s fearlessness win
Dead grandpas aren’t scared of anything!
♪ They don’t burp, or fart, or yawn,
Don’t kick neighbor kids off the lawn ♫
Thank you Dr. Demento.
O.o
*borrows NS’s floofy paws and claps furiously*
WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!
*throws thongs @ ZA*
*doesn’t say whose*
*stares at Leila*
*rolls over*
*applauds furiously with hind paws*
Um — Leila? Might I have the front paws back when you’re done with them, please?
Oopsy!!! Mah bad!!! I just got too excited here.
*gives kitteh front paws back*
Some fur was flying — you might want to have that checked and have a tune up or whatever it is you little cute kittehs do.
*lick lick lick*
*gives Leila a sideways glance*
How did the marshmallow fluff get on these? You were squeezing The Moomin with my paws, weren’t you?!
*dips paws in peanut butter*
*lick lick lick*
That’s not marshmallow fluff…that’s marshmallow floof.
*steals peanut butter*
*sits in a corner and happily eats it*
…Dragons love peanut butter!
There is a huge difference between marshmmallow fluff and marshmallow floof. Right? Right?
*SQUEEZE*
I love the smart@$$ in you. And the other parts as well. Well, not…that…part, I’ll let someone else take care of that.
We adore your inner Smart@$$, Gracie we tolerate.
We just love making your @$$smart.
An @$$ that smart should pay for it’s self.
You should not unleash your inner smat@$$ with abandon. They could get in a fight, alway unleash bandons seperately.
*SQUEEZE*
Thank you.
I believe that is a Redneck Hearse.
Poor Hearse.
*snerk*
In the immortal words of REM:
Everybody Hearse… Sometimes.
That was a middle finger.
YOU’RE NUMBER ONE!
You should just send him a bill for a new one. I got tired of all the stains I couldn’t get out of my monitors.
I’ll do it for you, Leila!
*bows*
You’re quite the balloon, Gracie, my love! Thanks for all of your wonderful contributions!
Hey everybody!!!! Judy bowed!!!! LOOK!!! LOOK!!! Somebody do something!!!!!!
*does nothing*
*pays sis for doing nothing*
Wait…I don’t get how that works.
*ZZZRRrrrrrrbt!*
Aw gawd!!!!!
I’ve never seen anyone get ZZZRRrrrrrrbt!’d so intensely!!!
Poor Judy!
*click!*
And THAT gets the place of honor at DW’s!
Can she walk?
Too much avuncular junk in the trunk.
Does he want a nuncle sandwich, do you suppose?
He should have been wearing a seat buncle.
A clear case of carbuncles.
Honestly, your smartassiness is one of my FAVORITE things about you, Gracie!! And that’s out of a long, loooooong list of things to love!
*takes a squeeze and gives some back*
*checks Dragon’s list*
Ooop! You missed a few!
*adds few to list*
*dusts hands*
There, much better.
*skips away whistling jaunty tune*
*peers at list*
D’OH! How could I have forgotten that thing with the Pixie Stix??? Good thing I have a B in my bonnet to remind me. *squeeze*
It starts with a b in the bonnet and progresses to a little birdhouse in the soul.
Avis might want to give our dragon a wide berth, just in case.
Don’t be silly. I have space for the entire lot of you in my heart.
♥
*dons super sexy wet-looking bathing suit with more skin showing than bathing suit and very high heels*
*holds up “AUTHOR! AUTHOR!” card overhead while prancing around in circle*
*click*
Bring your brilliant donkey over anytime, we love playing with you both!
It’s a BMW win!!!
*cannon-balls into grain bin*
The feeling’s mootchal!
I look forward to the day when a Friday Rewind is powered by Zombie’s interpretative retelling of it’s original showing.
Pure awesomeness. That’s what that is.
I like how we are leaving the Barbie fail to the trolls.
Hehe! You said win!
Winner Winner Chicken/Tofu Dinner!
You made me dinner? How sweet!!!!
*squeeze*
*hands Leila a Tofurkey*
*squeeze*
I haven’t even looked at the comments on that Barbie fail. Don’t. Wanna. Know.
Yeah just the title kinda makes you want to stay away.
Would you believe I’ve never had tofurkey?
*squeeezies*
*sigh*
I looked before I came back here.
It’s a wasteland.
Thirds!
*squeeze*
http://www.tsautomotive.com/ Have fun
Oh, no they kidnapped Father Jack Hackett!
(from Irish series Father Ted)
fat bastard
but we still love your mom long time
I enjoy your smart@$$ hijinks.
It is better to be a smart@$$ than a dumb@$$.
If seatbelts weren’t required where I live, I’d do the same thing!
I think his sun said: Let’s fo father To the store get some of your acne creamzz!! : No! i dont wanna go! i wanna watch blue’s clues!!!!
Then he drugged him but his ass was melted with the couch because he only ate junkfood and he got diarea and that melted him to the couch,
and he said, Your coming with me, Wether you like it or not!
Reminds me of one episode of FLODDER.
“Granpa has gone wet as he fell into the pond”.
“Okay, put him into the sun, so he can dry.”
The only thing I noticed was that he was listening to my favorite band, The Presets . . . lololol.
I think you mean LazyGrandpa
wow this is a fail? this is a big win
gotta like the pickup saying “used parts”
i like the song they are listening to
WTF??? That video is pure WIN!