Seems like a really specific market.
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For that perm you always wanted.
Who knew that the phrase “you look like ass” was a compliment?
“I love your hair!”
Maybe this is a salon specifically for the hair on someone’s ass?
Of course thats the hole point!
hehehe.. can’t believe she assed that.
good thing no one’s sued, that’ve rectum
ha ha Awesome pun
dannifoley, you are a new kind of stupid
No butts about it I guess
You’d be cheeky to say otherwise!
Kill me.
But… but… I need someone to style my nose hair. And I’m no brownnoser. Nosirree. *smiles engagingly*
You still need to pick what style you’d like.
Something I can just run my fingers through.
Make sure you pick a good one!
You’ll look fabulous no matter what you choose, the style’s snot important.
Just so long as it’s easy to blow dry.
Look…you’ve been looking for a sign about this for days now. I think the sinus come, and you must choose your style.
It’s too much pressure!
S’not that hard.
‘Septum, those are your choices.
I’ll wait in the vestibule while she decides.
(All I nose is that I’m so OUTTA here!)
Not meaning to deviate, but has anyone seen ZA, I left him some brain sashimi….made from educatamed brains, and he doesn’t seem to want it.
I missed what in the where now?
So, do you wear an asshat when you are having a bad asshair day?
Sorry, I almost killed a pun run and I failed to read Merowl’s asshat joke down there. What an ass.
We have just the salon for you.
Your donkey will never look more fabulous.
My donkey and I appreciate it.
Bahahaha! Brilliant!
Brilliant donkey.
Will they give my BMW a new paint job?
They’ll shampoo the trunk mat.
FIRST HAHAHA
…no
Oh sweetie.
*shakes head*
*sneaks in the back door*
*regrets it immediately*
*slaps sign on back door*
EXIT ONLY
One of my big goals in life is to ensure my exit is never an entrance.
It’s mine too Cloral.
amen to that Cloral……… but, alas, unfair life is, i’ve been checking exits doors like a possesed man, trying as but
“as but”
no pun intended there….
amen to that Cloral……… but, alas, unfair life is, i’ve been checking exits doors like a possesed man, and no matter how hard i tried not all exit doors allows entrance …..
Will they do my nails too?
Ms B is planning the sequel of ‘Teeth’.
I’ve heard of sh!tting bricks… Maybe she just swallowed unconventional construction worker’s tools…
She has always misheard the phrase “spitting nails”.
It’s even worse: She bites them, too!
Imma gonna go home now.
*runs after Ms B*
Wait! I was just kidding!
*faceplant*
Dang. Forgot I was still wearing the gorilla suit from yesterday.
Aaaaah! It’s a goril-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-a!!!
*sigh*
*picks self up*
*dusts self off*
*runs after Ms B*
It’s me, you know, LC–*faceplant*
*sigh*
I know it’s important to get enough iron, but could you please just take supplements or something? Using iron as a topical application is a tad risky.
*nods weakly*
And it’s not doing my complexion any favors, either.
I thought that steely gaze was a burglar thing.
I reserve that look for the coppers.
Coppers??? OMG get the lead out, LCB!!
I zinc you may be overreacting a tad there?
DW’s right. I zinc you’d better run.
Well played k@. I guess I’m the one who needs to get the lead out.
Awww. Tin-Q for playing, though!
Chin up, Rin Tin Tin.
*laughs his brass off*
If I’d a nickel every time LCB began running…
I’d have none, because LCB takes them.
*voms all over the blog*
Quite a nasty habit to break.
Ooooooo…I don’t fee so good. I wish it was because I took too many shots.
*takes ShamWow™ and wipes mouth*
If you don’t fee good, you should just charge more for your services.
*grins at Leila*
*flees*
*takes bow and arrow and shoots a squeeze @ fleeing Dragon*
Don’t fee so good? So what you’re saying is you’re che-, um,
inexpensiveaffordable?Refresh fail…*sigh*
GMTA, DW!!
*^5s the buttacow!*
“Budget-Rent-A-Leila”
We all know she…LIES!
You’re late, Failblog.
I’m gonna want to witness that delivery. They seem to be good around here.
Well, at the rate they’ve been popping out new sites, it kind of explains all the times they have been late, doesn’t it?
AHEM!! Speaking of being late, aren’t we forgetting something?
*waits for the Goddess to do her thang*
Well, I was trying to come up with a these for today’s puddle, but here goes:
*crosses arms*
*blinks*
*cuddle puddle magically appears, like a shimmering oasis in the desert, complete with all appurtenant beverage and food carts, with delicious young firemen, waiting to serve*
There! Happy now?
Delicious young firemen?
*holds out plate*
Are they a band, like Fine Young Cannibals?
Oh, great. Now I have an earworm.
*falsetto*
♫You drive me crazy…♫
And dang it, it’s not on my iPod.
*plays “Good Thing” elebenty times instead*
Are you gonna eat the braaaaaiiiinnnzzzzz?
You can have the brains. I’ll take the brawn.
The secret’s in the sauce!
No, no, no…Gracie you gotta serve it with style!
*flings raspberry and blueberry sauce in LCB’s general direction*
*surfaces*
*spits out water*
Uh, thanks, Gracie, but I kinda wanted to eat first! Oh, well, maybe later.
*dunks Gracie*
*swims away fast*
*cannonballs into the cuddle puddle and lands on Gracie*
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! HI!
*materializes in center of cuddle puddle upside-down*
¡ssǝppoƃ ʎɔnɾ ‘sʞuɐɥʇ
¡ǝɯıʇʎuɐ ‘ןɐɹıɯpɐ ‘ǝɯıʇʎuɐ
*wheels in an extra special assortment of desserts and digestifs*
A year ago tomorrow, a soon to be good friend posted an invitation to those who were lurking to say hello.
failblog.org/2009/07/10/breakfast-cereal-fail/#comment-513331
I responded, giving up my lurking ways. I have been having fun, battling trolls, and procrastinating with you crazy peeps ever since.
Technically it’s tomorrow, but today is the Cuddle Puddle, and I can’t think of a better place to celebrate. So, on my Failiversary, I want to thank you all for a year of laughter, silliness, and friendship.
The biggest of *squeezes* to all.
Happy Failiversary!
*wheels in stainless confetti cannon*
*overloads it with Enterprise-shaped confetti*
*
safety**lights fuse and dives for cover*
KA-BOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!
*some Enterprises rain down all day*
*others enter warp and are never seen again*
*squeeze’s ZA without regard for decaying bits that might get stuck on him*
Awwww!
*wipes away tears*
C’mere, you!
*megasmurfettequeeze*
We’re so glad you joined us!!!!
*smurfy squeeze*
HAPPY FAILIVERSARY GS!!! This place wouldn’t be the same without you.
*BIGgoogieSqueeze*
Heeheehee!!
*gives Scotty a squeeze to end all squeezes*
HAPPY FAILIVERSARY, SCOTTY!!!
*dragonsizedsqueezes*
Congrats, Scotty ol’ pal!
It’s hard to 1magine this place without you!
*salutes*
Give the word Admiral.
*squeeze*
*congrattysqueezies*
*k@ttysqueeze*
Mr. Scott, the word is given.
*SQUEEZE!*
& you are still wearing the latin I found lying around..I may need to add glitter to that
*gives bear-squeeze, then soon regrets it when eyes pop out like a baby hamster’s*
*squeezysqueeze*
Always a pleasure, Scott.
*squeeze*
Happy failiversary to one of the “Great” personalities on FB1 (FB2 for that matter).
*starfishysqueeze*
*squeeze*
*gives Scotty a shiny new tag for his collar*
See? It has *squeeze* engraved on it!
*speechlesssqueezes*
*nods shyly*
Not saying I won’t try to steal it back later, though.
I know I’m a bit late to this party, but…. Happy Failiversary!!!
*squeeze*
Late? I’d say you’re just in time for a *squeeze*.
*really late cheezysqueezes*
Thanks Mel.
*kitteh squeeze*
*balloonysqueezes*
Happy happy, Scotty!
Thanks so much!
*squeeze*
According to the link, I , ah, talk too much.
No worries Qwaz. As you just pointed out to Avis, whale therapy set you on the right path.
It was just odd, as I’d never seen it before.
Sorry about that.
Past tense, sweetie. We’ve all been through the “noob-talk-too-much” stage, and we’ve all been thwacked for it.
Some of us…*cough*…still do it from time to time.
We’re glad to have you with us. *squeeeeeeze*
(And just in case it wasn’t clear from that little blush, I was referring to myself there…NOT you! *squeeze*)
I’ve done it too. In fact, I still do it. *shrugs*
I figure if I go overboard, someone will tell me. Of course, unless it’s a regular telling me, I’m likely to ignore it.
Sorry you had some retro-oddness, Qwaz. We’ve all been through our own learning phase. You turned out faboo! *squeeze*
Noted.
*More confident squeeze*
I’mgladthatInevertalktoomuchorbabbleonlikesomepeopledowhentheyjustgoonandonabouthingsthatnooneintheworldcaresaboutlikeliketheweatherwhichwasquitewarmtodaybutnotheleastbituncomfortabletomewhichisgoodallthoughsomemighthavenotlikeditandfeltlikeoneofthehershy’skissesthatgotallmushyinmycandydish.
*silent what-he-said-nods*
My FB1 family is very important to me!
*big, affectionate peep-squeeze*
Cuddle Puddle?! *perks*
*flies in and dive bombs into the puddle, feathers flying everywhere*
Sowwy.
Hee, hee!
*splashes little birdie*
Haven’t seen you in the cuddle puddle for eons!
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
puddle of mudd??
I did that in RL. Mud bath with friends, I mean.
TOD!!!!
♫♪She likes to shake her a$$, she grinds it to the beat
She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth♫♪
You saw them live, no one good ever comes east of Montreal.
The really good acts never last long enough, or at least they never seem long enough.
Oh! Story time!
*pulls up comfy cushion and sits*
*Click*
*Sets down tape recorder*
…For future reference.
*Takes seat*
must be in brazil
I doubt those little asian characters are popular in brazil, though.
You mean that’s not Portuguese?
No, a Brazilian is something entirely different.
well its barely something different
brunette girl: “i just slept with a Brazilian!!”
blond girl: “you slut!!!! ….. how many is a Brazilian???”
can’t help myself….gotta love blondies
Friday’s here!
“Friday: better than a fish full of candy.”
They’ve a low opinion of their clientele.
It’s rock bottom.
They’re behind the times.
More “cheek” than “chic.”
They’re bringing up the rear in polls.
They’ve lost a lot of clients because the waiting area is arranged in a circle around the salon. Everyone has a ringside seat.
And those stools stink.
Well, that’s a bum rap.
This must be right before you go to the Ass Hat Shop
“Show me the style you like using this Mr. Potato head doll.”
Are you saying this establishment is frequented by the vicar?
*poses cute like*
How do I look?
That’s the first time I’ve heard that pose called cute!
You look wonderful. I love the hightlights!
Hey, I asked if you would shave a back or a face!!
Great idea!!!
I mean- Has anyone here ever tried yet to let their ass-hair be groomed, cut, trimmed or whatever a a regular hairsaloon…???
…And? How did they react?
Good grief, foreigner, how long is your ass-hair?!?!?
NO! Never mind. I Do Not Want To Know!
He’s been letting it grow out for years now.
Are you saying that all us foreigners have long ass-hair?
*braids hair*
Are you?
Hey, when I braid my hair, my arms extend UP, now DOWN. Draw your own conclusions.
“Ass” means “Ace” in German
That explains why Klaus keeps mooning me when we play Go Fish.
Ooooh shut up already!
*claws from the grave and hangs a disco ball over trolls head*
*drags stereo from the grave*
*cranks volume, pushes play*
*
safety**Queen – Another One Bites the Dust plays loudly*
*250 million zombies erupt from the ground*
*zombie hoard disco dances around the blog*
*hoard continues dancing while moving in on troll*
*screams are suddenly heard*
*body parts and shredded articles of clothing fly*
*entire hoard continues dancing in unison*
*hoard gestures to the ceiling*
*hoard gestures to the floor*
*hoard gestures to the ceiling*
*hoard gestures to the floor*
*hoard dances their way back to their graves by the end of the song*
*except for a lot of footprints, no evidence of the attack remains*
*serves up a plate of extra-brawny brains for ZA*
Thanks for putting that ace in the hole!
Well…they missed a gobbet over here. And there’s a scrap of bone over there…but all in all, that was one of the best ones yet!! Thank the hoard for me, wouldja?
OT – do you play “Plants vs. Zombies”? Your hoard has a featured role!!!
*Jumps in and dances wiff da hoard*
*horde
No one’s with you on that.
I’m with you on that.
So, this is the Ace Hair Club for Men?
I think i know a customer :O
i’ve actually been to ass hair’s once, the employees working there are really amazing. they’ve made the perfect curl although i unluckily got very short hair down there
that concludes my search for a place where i can get my gooch waxed
HA!! I used to walk by there all the time to get to the Starbucks that was by there! I told my client the meaning of the salon’s name and she thought it was hilarious!
Please tell me this thing is not standing around in Germany.
Everything is SO specialized these days. Used to be you went to ONE shop for that Plus underarms, PLUS nose hair stylin, ear hair and more!
Who can read Chinese?
I don’t have enough of it to warrant a style.
what a fail!
Gee your hair smells terrific
I’m totally getting my ass hair done up there next week. Gotta keep these curls tight
maybe its for donkeys :/
I just want a trim.
I wonder if they can trim my afro.
Gotta get those dingleberries combed out.
where can i find it? i live in germany but i cant find a website or any information.