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It’s a goril-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-a!!!
*runs from room screaming*
No, wait! It’s just me in a gorilla suit!
*runs after Ms B*
*faceplant*
*shakes head*
*calls firemenz*
I always thought you would be more graceful than that.
Yabbut, I’m wearing *two* masks here!
Ooooooh! That would make all the difference. I am sure all the shiny you are hauling doesn’t help either. I have an extra safe you can use to keep your shinies.
You mean that trash bag with “Hefty” crossed out and “Safe” written in in crayon?
I would never do that your shinies. Evah!
Oh, well. That’s all right, then.
*puts extra shinies in “safe”*
*sniff*
Oh, yeah. What was I thinking?
*yoinks shinies*
*including some of Leila’s*
*runsawayfast*
*faceplant*
I should have known better… *sigh*
ACK!! *checks wedding ring* Oh, false alarm.
*saunters casually by and yoinks LCB’s shinies*
*fleeswithaquickness*
*picks up banana peel walks off into the sunset*
*sues city for elebenty gazillion dollars, a butler and a scooter*
HAH ^win
It’s not going to work. They tried to tell you the sidewalk was closed and to use the sidewalk.
But… but… people in gorilla suits can’t read!
Neither can the ones without a suit.
You…you mean the nekkid ones??
*CLICK*
Eeep!
*runs away*
*smacks head on iron fence*
*faceplant*
CUT!!!
Medic!
Oh.
Oh dear. Oh my.
I saw an extra letter in that first word, somehow.
HAH HAH Double WIN from me!
“It’s a mad house! A mad house!”
Stay calm, eat a banana!
♫
Monkey suit to bind me, out of control
I live alone inside my mind.
World of confusion, air filled with noise
Who says that my life’s such a crime?
♫
♫We’ve got a gorilla for sale…♪
How many simian simoleons?
*tries not to make a big magilla about the cost*
But it isn’t a grape ape?
I thought it was a lemon lemur.
Not a strawberry simian?
How about chocolate chimp?
Wait, it’s not a cherry chimp?
Nope, mango monkey.
But… but… I ordered a mocha macaque!
Instead you get a berry bobcat.
I’ll have a Pomegranate Primate, please!
Here, try this. It’s a Pink Squirrel Monkey.
Wants chunky monkey
Orange orangutan please.
mm … chunky monkey braaaaaaiiiiinnnzzzz.
*hands ZA a vanilla gorilla*
CONGRATULATIONS JULYA!!!!! WOOOOOOOHUUUU!!!
*Whistles for Julya*
Congrats
Yay, Julya! The bars are now open!
*glug glug glug*
Next time you are low on iron, try SloFe.
Couldn’t you have brought the ice cream cart, too? I’d love a cherry popsicle or a snow cone.
♪ring-a-ding-a-ding♫
*pulls up in Good Humor truck*
May I take your order?
Can I have a cheese enchilada with salsa verde please?
*searches*
The closest I have is a Choco Taco.
Yo quiero TacoBell?
Sorry, this is the ice cream truck. Taco Bell’s on the next block. Can I interest you in a Bomb Pop?
Um… sugar free please and thank you.
Wait … what is a Bomb Pop?
ht tp://www.bombpop.com/
They’re yummy. They’re red, white, and blue popsicle-ish things, rather phallic in shape. I think the flavors are cherry, lemon, and raspberry — all in one conveniently-packaged frozen treat.
Um…
Can I just have some chocolate ice cream? 
Ooooo! I’ll have some frozen custard in a waffle cone, please!
Chocolate waffle cone?
Vanilla waffle cone?
Cone of silence?
*serves up custard in a cone to DW*
One squeeze please.
*squeezy-squeeze with a cherry on top!*
I used to like waffle cones the best until I found…pretzel cones!
Intriguing AA, where does one find pretzel cones?
Apparently in Philadelphia. I got one “exported”. The salt on the cone really brings out the flavor of the, in my case, nondairy frozen treat!
I bet! I love the salty/sweet combination.
*starts planning trip to Philly*
*ears perk*
*grabs coin purse*
*runs like crazy down the street chasing the music*
Oooooh! Fudge bar! Please?!
*hands over fudge bar*
That will be one squeeze please.
*SQUEEZE*
*SQUEEZE*
The second one’s a tip.
*serves up double scoop*
One squeeze please.
I’ll give TWO squeezes for a red snow cone!!!
*hands Judy a snow cone with lots of red syrup*
*gives Good Humor guy two squeezes, with extra red syrupy fingers*
Big Stick, please.
Ah, excellent choice!
*digs into freezer, hands NS a Big Stick popsicle*
That’ll be one squeeze.
*great beeeeeeg squeeeeeeeze*
*licks Big Stick in a suggestive manner*
Sorry. Old habits… 
Yay, July!!!
Yip Yippee Julya!!
*throws confetti*
Wow! Nice going, Julya! Your first powering!
Congrattubilations!
Nice! Way to go, Julya!!
*makes with the balloons*
WOOHOO!
*pops open the champagne*
GRACIE…WATCH OUT FOR THE…
*pop!*
…cork.
OW!
*deflates, flying wildly around the Blog*
I was thinking an inflatable maid might explain how the hubby is getting by until the lawsuit is settled.
Wait…Gracie has clones now??
Something tells me these clones are more dangerous if they blow up…
*wheels in stainless confetti cannon*
*overloads it*
*
safety**lights fuse and dives for cover*
KA-BOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
*confetti rains down all day*
Congrats Julya!
OMG, at least it was a funny video!
There’s a video?
Hehe!
Yo, Banana Boy!
Rats fail on no liaf star.
Go hang a salami, I’m a lasagna hog.
A man, a plan, a canal. Panama.
A dog, a plan, a canal: Pagoda.
Do geese see God?
Notlob.
Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?
Madam, I’m Sarah.
Whoops! Wrong kind of Palindrome.
*flees*
ShamWow, please.
*has now learned to finish a bite of oatmeal before reading comments here*
*passes ShamWow*
That’s a hard lesson to learn.
I learned to send bills to whoever causes me to make a mess on my monitor.
Maybe you just need the maid from the last fail?
That poor maid is busy having ‘relations’ with the husband. She is already overworked.
I told you already! Only if the husband is Robert Downey, Jr.
*swoons*
MINE!!!!
Back off sista!!!
You rang?
*Regards abused monitor*
…You’re wet.
And you’re doing the time warp again. Just don’t break the STC this time!
That looks like a giant skunk with a missing tail.
Well, his gorilla impression did stink.
Actually I smell an Oscar.
*sniffs*
*makes “ick” face*
Actually, that smells more like a Golden Globe.
Potatoe tomato potato tomatoe…
*starts to pick @ LCB’s hair*
Depends on what part of Oscar she was smelling…
His Whirled Cup?
:ick:
Urp. I’m not sure I want lunch now…
FailBlog Diet scores again.
It’s why I fit in my skinny jeans.
and i though i was gonna be first! damn u people
This guy was barred from looking cool long before he facegated…
Mal? I left a serious question for you on the last fail. Given today’s fails, it might not have sounded like one.
If you don’t want to answer, or don’t want to answer here, that’s okay.
Which question? The one involving your mom?
Yep.
She was injured at a construction site while traversing the property? Does she have a claim? Law answer = it depends. Was she allowed in the area where the accident occurred? What caused her injuries? (sorry if you mentioned this before, but I haven’t had a moment to bounce back to the previous fail) When did this happen?
To be honest, and shooting off the hip, I’d say there is a major claim. I don’t know all the facts, but it seems like there are grounds for a suit. If what you said about her breaking her neck (sorry to hear that btw) is true, she could expect significant financial damages. However, let me be clear on two things: First, I am not a lawyer. I am a law student. Second, I don’t know all the facts, so much could change due to your jurisdiction, the statute of limitations (if it has run…) and the facts of the incident itself. If this occurred recently, I would advise seeking an attorney who specializes in this sort of law. When did this happen, by the way?
2005. If you want details, I’ll send you a longer message elsewhere.
Eep. 2005. In WV, s/l is 2 years, so she’d be sol.
I think the statute of limitations may have run in this matter, but I am not sure. Again, depends on your jurisdiction and how things like this are handled. I’m still just a law student after all!
Smurfette knows best!
A cute and intelligent law student!
It happened while she was out of state (both hers and mine). I’m sure you’re right about the statute of limitations – I was mostly curious. Oh, and it wasn’t her neck – thoracic vertebral compression fractures.
Ouchie either way… I hope she was okay after all that… I’d consider talking to an attorney, but I wouldn’t pay anyone to listen.
Funny. I read somewhere that the best legal battles aren’t strategized in the courtroom….oddly, they say most are coordinated in the comments threads in blog posts of a man in a gorilla suit knocking himself out. I never believed that until now.
His credibility was swinging by a thread.
His incredibility, however, is as strong as ever. *squeeze*
Quick, simian call a doctor!!
UhUh AhAh! UHUHUH!!!
Honey, you need to start eating more fiber.
*starts to nom on some rabbit food*
Me Tarzan, you In Pain.
Wait…I thought it was don’t fail and drink. I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time?????
Now the whole thing doesn’t make sense! We need to start over!
*mumbles*
Let’s see…insert Tab A into Slot B…
This doesn’t seem right.
*sneezes*
*accidenty the paper on fire*
Um…woops. Sorry!
Like a gazelle.
*nods*
A Gazelle with three wooden legs and ill-fitting shoes.
He’s lucky he has shoes. In my day we had to go barefoot.
We have definitely evolved. Wait, that’s not what you mean, is it?
# Monkey, monkey man
I’ve got to be a monkey man #
♫Here I come,
Trippin’ down the street
Get the funniest bruises
Hitting the concrete…♫
♫Sometime I think of tweeter, sometime I think of jan
Sometime I don’t think about nothing but the monkey man♫
what was he *doing* inside the zoo? O_o
Monkeying around.
But he’s too busy singing to put anybody down.
does that involve playing bongos and coconuts?
He’s just trying to be friendly.
May he be coming to my town?
He’ll be walkin’ down your street.
*gives Ms B the funniest look*
Hey, he goes wherever he wants to.
Hey, she’s the young generation, and she’s got something to say.
It’s looks like he was doing the banana splits.
old fail is old
old comment is old
old reply is old
*plays along*
How old IS it?
When this video was made, dirt was new.
And still clean!
It’s so old, it farts dust.
It’s so old it personally witnessed the Big Bang.
It’s so old flowers scare it.
It’s so old it was originally a cave drawing video.
It’s so old it just yelled at me to get off the lawn.
When it was young rainbows were in black and white.
Why do you hate America so much?
in soviet russia states hates you
Firdst!
Gorrilla Irony Fail.
It used a pole to face palm itself.
You have aposable thumbs you fool!
I am opposed to iron gate gorilla palming.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeak
*inserts IV in j’s veins*
Don’t give up. You will be strong again. I promise.
I somehow read that as “…j’s jeans” and was both amused and confused.
Amused and confused is the constant state we live in here in FB. I love it.
Did you see my note about me liking your new avi? So Kuuuuuuute!!!!!!
Awwww – thanks, Leila!
It’s adorabubble!
…The avatar, not Leila’s note. Though I’m sure that’s cyoot, too!
Meh … it’s all brokened up English … its jest horiblle.
You ain’t the only one.
SORRY WHAT!?! I DIDN’T HEAR YOU OVER MY IPOD.
There is no such thing as an iPoddy.
WHOOOOOOOOOHUUUU!!!!!!!
*flings poo*
Thank you, ZA! You may not realize this, but your recap is often the high point of my work day.
Thanks, too, for the apostrophes. My collection was running a little low.
“…lower head has stopped thinking for them and the upper head hasn’t yet resumed it’s natural role. The time is ripe for failure.”
Pure gold.
He should write a novel.
I agree. Or someone should compile these for him.
yusyus.. They could be published as “The Annotated Failblog”.
*checks her bankaccount to see if failblog already cashed the bribe she offered*
Hey, it always worked for me!
Oh, you’re saying bribe, with two b’s. That explains it! I wonder what they’ve been doing with all the corpse brides I’ve been giving them.
Did you send the bridal treasures along?
Gorilla Man, Gorilla Man
Does whatever a Gorilla Man does
I don’t mean to pry, mate.
But wtf are you doing in that gorilla suit?
MUSHY!! Wait, if I *squeeze* you’re just gonna run off anyway, so I will pretend like I didn’t see you.
It is not you, it’s me welcoming them back. It seems to scare them off. Case in point, I welcomed WN back and we haven’t heard from him since. I don’t thing I’ve welcomed Mushy back, so he’s stayed.
Is this Eastern High School in NJ? I’m 99% sure this is my school…
Yes, Kelsey. Yes it is.
Thats my school your talking about there. So watch it.
We ARE watching it! Over and over! It’s hysterical!
Little brother yamakasi
Is it just me, or … is he wearing the suit backwards too? I thought the shiny plastic ‘chest’ looked like it was on his back? Isn’t that an EXTRA fail? I might just be seeing it wrong, though. It’s fairly hard to see.
KAMIKAZE!!
That’s inhuman.
Am I missing the real funny somewhere? All I see is someone in a gorilla suit tripping up over the edge of a fence.
This fail is boring. I am displeased
It’s like watching a ragdoll in a game
This fail is fake.
He ducks his head, swings his arms to hit the gate (note the 1/2 second sound delay…perfectly coincides with his hands on the bottom of the gate) and everyone thinks it’s cool.
booring
gate wins!
fatality
……………………..