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» 193 Failures in Communication
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Go outside?
It’s going to be a high of 98 here with 90% humidity. I think I’ll stay inside and give Bing evil looks.
Oh, dear. That’s quite the look. It’s a wonder why Bing hasn’t shriveled and melted by now.
♪ She’s got the look
She’s got the look!♫
She didn’t need Bing to tell her how to do it either!
don’t go on bing…
btw, wtf’s bing?
It’s the noise you hear when you get a pop-up.
Microsoft’s crappy version of Google.
Badda boom badda ………
BANG ! Yo, It’s Me, It’s Me, It’s D D P
You mean the one Google keeps copying with the sidebar layout and background graphic?
Come inside.
Bing!
To a darker side…
Bing
Why don’t you have a seat over there, Chlak.
Search me.
*searches Ms B*
*finds money and takes off with it*
Where did you find that?! I’ve been looking all over!
Same place your white blouse is, apparently.
Yeah I looked for it for a long time but on Bing when you make a search it saves it so the guy who posted this FAIL made all these searchs so that “how do i get rid of bing” appears in this autocomplete me.
Getting a little frisky?
Bloggy likes to take things slow.
*Performs cavity search*
*doesn’t protest … too much*
*squints*
can someone turn that light off please? zzzzzz
*Leaves the light on*
*Blindfolds granny*
it was so warm in here until the cavity search, now there’s a draught
I bet the link is broken, too.
The same way you get rid of love handles
And how you uninstall Norton or AOL from a computer.
You don’t.
Ever.
Or get rid of the stupid postal machine you haven’t used for a year.
There are ways if your a super-techno computer geek.
Yeah, but it involves things that should never been seen nor done by the innocent.
SIGH!
*uses whiteout to hide extra en after be*
It’s a complex procedure that involves gasoline and a match.
you’ll also need a keytar and a Vuvuzela
Nuuuooooooh! Not the vuvuzela!!!!!
I did. Uninstall it from your Control Panel under System and Maintenance.
its a common search from pressf1 lol damn microsoft
cash 4 gold?
Pawn shop?
Explosives?
Buy all stock and discontinue the department
Feed it to the Elephant?
the pink elephant?
Hit the Moose?
No no, that’s how you get red of bling.
(And get ripped off in the process.)
So, now Autocomplete Me and Probably Bad News are being condensed into Failblog and that means we’ll be getting …
*counts on fingers*
*takes off shoes, counts on toes*
.. more posts per day.
‘Things that are Doing It’ as well.
More pee pee and vjay fails. (not my favorites)
Pfft. I think we had plenty of that right here in the comments!
Define “plenty.”
Are we talking about pee pee and vjay fails or things that are doing it?
Either. You said we had “plenty of that right here in the comments!” Which were you referring to, and then define “plenty.”
Things?…..Do I resent that?
That depends – are you doing it?
Depends on your interpretation of it per se…. studying, yes, working, yes, giggling, yes, Drinking coffee, yes, Bumping uglies, no.
Then, you don’t resent it.
Bonus.
I had a follow up rant, but I used the illegal synonym for picture that starts with i.
Now when the comment shows up it will be totally out of context.
Which will, of course, make it more fun.
I’m giddy with anticipation!
Now my comment has disappeared, apparently !mage is a very naughty word.
It’s part of the HTML command needed to insert pictures in a blog post.
It’s a small price to pay if it means less spam on the blog, IMHO.
Lol, this happened to me before someone explained what was going on.
!mage is indeed a very naughty word. Does this mean you’ve been a naughty boy?
*raises eyebrow at CJ*
Apparently I have, do you know what to do with a naughty boy?
I’m a little out of practice, but I can probably figure it out. Go to my room!
*gets the camera ready*
Practice Makes Perfect!
*goes to Gracie’s room*
*pretends not to see NS with her camera*
*follows CJ*
*mumbles to self*
Can we steal CJ’s pants now???!?
*rubs hands together ebilly*
Hmm… not sure I want to get carried away with stealing pants again. That’s one of the reasons Brewski left, and it still saddens me to know that I am responsible for that. I was the biggest offender.
Condensing Autocomplete Me into FailBlog constitutes a(n Auto)complete FAIL.
Heh!
AGREED. And they got rid of many many pages of autocompleteme hilarity. I want to be directed to the person responsible so that I may punch them in the face.
How do I get pregnant? Turn off the computer?
…and turn on your husband.
…and turn down the covers.
Stop taking that pill!
..put on latex (clothing)
tee hee!
Ask Edward and Bella….THEY know.
Say it isn’t so, B2f! You’re…not a closet Twilighter, are you???
*trembles*
Good!
So, you’re still with me for the premiere of the new one next week?
Ooh! Ooh! Count me in! Count me in!
Why would you want to get pregnant, anyway? If you do, you have to suffer the consequences for AT LEAST 18 YEARS!!
Piss of Monica?
*bukkits*
*wanders off in search of coffee*
*arrives in a timely fashion with a bucket of coffee*
*dunks head in coffee bucket*
That’s quite the c0cktail there, Scott!
Binge?
*woot*
I’ve done seven of those things.
I’ve done five of them
You wanna share the cookies? Or are they part of your pregnant cravings?
Six for me, never gotten pregnant nor loved thee.
Would you like to get pregnant? LCB has a turkey baster that could help…
No, thank you. My only child is 19 and I wouldn’t redo the last 5 years for anything.
Out of cheese error, redo from start.
Ah! A good ole’ Pratchett referrence.
Good thing. These things can sometimes lead to questionable results. Those Jr. Mints can cause quite a bit of trouble.
True, but they’re also delicious.
I have no recollection of what you are referring to…
If I remember correctly from when LCB impregnated Brewski, the offspring was a squid-like creature that apparently got consumed. Maybe it would be better if you skipped that experience.
squid-like creature…. Jr. Mints…
Are you sure LCB is qualified to weild this turkey baster?
You can read this wacky tale for yourself. That failpeeps site I sent you to has links to it. Be prepared for a lot of laughing.
I recommend that you do not attempt to eat or drink while reading the story. Your monitor will never be the same if you do.
I just finished re-reading those threads. HIGH-larious! I think I almost fell out of my chair.
I just finished reading
That LCB is quick with the funny.
That she is. I re-read them myself. That was so long ago, I was still Iusuallylurk ♀. Lots of absent peeps in that thread.
*waxes nostalgic*
Fantastic.
I think it’s great you people can have that much fun with total strangers on the internet. Then, a year later, you’re all still having a blast most every day.
Good on ya, FailBloggers
*noogies Qwaz*
You were there too, silly bot.
The way you say that could be seen as implying you aren’t one of us, Qwaz. But you are.
*waxes nostalgic*
*waxes balloons (in a non-lesbian way)*
Sounds like a Doctor Who episode in the making…*snorkgiggle*
Oh, don’t get me started on that guy!
You’ve searched on how to get pregnant?
Gotto commend them on not removing this from search
For a second, I wondered who Gotto was.
I need more coffee.
*gives Madness a vat of coffee*
That’s a start.
*dives in*
I’d be more worried about the people who need to know how to get pregnant, or even the people who ned to know how to look…
ned…? NEED.
♫ I looked out the window and what did I see
Popcorn popping on the apricot tree
Spring has brought me such a nice surprise
Popcorn popping right before my eyes! ♪
Cinema! Can we take Tequila?
Sometimes it’s not easy to get pregnant when you really want to.
Quick quiz! How do you know when you’re ovulating? What days of your cycle are they? Does standing on your head really work???
Ooh, I know!
Except, I’m already pregnant, so I’m not technically on ANY day of a cycle right now, haha.
But I DO know when I last ovulated.
Temperature charts, FTW!
love this one!!!
only Helen Keller knows the answer
*breaks her fingers so she can’t tell*
*reattaches fingers before she realized they were broken in the first place*
You have to put them back in the right order.
shucks… i didn’t think she’d notice
*removes thumbs from forehead and places back on hands*
*
*but secretly placed them on opposite hands
no, no, no. Helen cannot give the answer! You can ONLY find out how by BECOMING Helen Keller
THE LIIIIINKS!
Lost another loved one to Los Links? Tragic…
In what way is that a fail? Getting rid of Bing is an extremely useful thing to be able to do. Now Bing help you to do just that. This is possibly the only Bing-related win I’ve ever seen.
… by assassinating Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer
I hate bling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is a WIN
don’t tell little wayne. He’s all about the bling
Bling can be a good thing if you have money.
If anything, we only got a second Bing: Google. Fortunately they didn’t completely copy Bing: they had a background picture like Bing for a day, then removed it fortunately. But Google still intents to push all their search results away for all kinds of option bars that almost no one uses.
Fortunately for sure!
how do I look? *poses*
Uh…compared to…?
types compared to… into bing
autocomplete fills in the rest with…
A Horse’s A$$
also..
earth jupiter, that ones true
Who could get rid of Bing? It is owned by Microsoft. Even though they are no longer the must have computer, they still have a lot of power. That was a silly question to ask. So, I guess it does make a good FAIL.
your comment hurts my brain… How could get rid of bertbad?
Don’t fight it, let it massage you first. You will understand if you reflect on it for a while.
The only thing i reflect on after a massage is whether or not to ask for a happy ending….
urgh… whats that from? Whatever it is I’ve seen or read it recently… “Why didn’t you just take the happy ending…”.
ohhh i thought that was implied… needless to say, I decided the happy ending would be a good idea.
“a little lower, could you rub a little lower?”
“your getting closer, but its still just a little lower…”
*masseuse rolls eyes and looks upset, but is willing to go the extra mile*
Im going back every week, strike that, replace with day…
No! That’s a referrence to something I’ve seen recently…
Were you showering?
I didn’t know Microsoft made a computer? I think you ment to say the must have OS.
*hops off soap box.. skips away*
If you mean Operating System then that’s what I meant. I am silly because I forgot they only do software, Zune and Xbox.
To be fair you can turn an X-Box into a fully functioning pc. Most modern consoles are becoming identical to PC’s anyway in terms of hardware. If you think about they have made a computer… regardless they’re evil, Linux wins but it’s just too much effort.
OSQ
Obscure Sports Quarterly
But I love Chandler’s jokes!
Could he be any funnier?
Where did that gibberish translator end up?
It broke the LAST time we tried to use it on him.
Awwww Italy.
Are they out?
They are. WOOOT!
I have an exxelent autocomplete me fail, where to submit?
I dunno about this being a fail… It sounds more like a WIN to me.
Update:
well incisor me timbers, it worked
How do I get rid of Bing? It’s a freakin website. Don’t go to it. Problem solved. Idiots.
Unless the toolbar has taken up residence on your Internet Explorer. . .
This. The question is how to get rid of the toolbar.
Win! Who the hell wants Bing anyway?
Edit: remove the ‘http://'; it was added in by the comment system.
one of my friends is working for microsoft. he is one of the bing developers. he told me that the most frequent search is ‘google’
I’m more worried about “How do i enable cookies?”!
LOL!! I just went to the Bing website, typed in ‘how do i’ and got the same exact answers except for ‘how do i get rid of bing’!
Simple: No need to visit Bing. Bingo.
ARG I HATE BING
the stupid thing keeps becoming my homepage i think it put spy wear some were on my comp >.<
to find your ip address, try getting yourself banned from forums and boards. they might tell you.
I would also like to know this
I would also like to know this. Bing sux.
Isn’t “Bing Fail” a bit redundant? Coulda just said “Bing”.
We’ll never get rid of Bing, even Norbert and Daggett failed!
That’s a win, not a fail.
No fail here.
fourth one down: why public nudity should be alowed
this isnt a fail…this is a win
This is a fact: Bing! might have been called Bang!, but there would be problems if people said, “Hey, who’s Jennifer Aniston?” “I don’t know, Bang! her.” Google it, it’s true.
In most cases, Bing shows 8 results in the auto-complete drop-down, but now since they realized what the 8th one is in this case they’re only showing 7. Check it out yourself!
Bing is for idiots who don’t know how to search properly. Same thing with KGB.
seems like more of a win to me ;P