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Cheezburger Company Blog
Sofa on porch, eh? Well, that narrows the field a bit.
nov 5?
REMEMBER, REMEMBER, THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER
GUY FAWKES WIN!!!
You should relieve some pressure. Before that cracker of yours goes off by itself.
Too late. Ew! Anybody got a Sham-Wow handy?
We’re gonna need help. Has anyone fed Granny yet today?
If there were brains involved, I’d say we should wait for ZA but in this case …
I should have some kernels left from yesterday
*limps in*
Hello everyone. *squeeze*
What seems to be the problem?
We were wondering what to feed Granny, but you may have some meat left
*squeeze back*
*hulls out giant fridge*
*opens the door*
safety*looks inside and pulls out meat*
*wrinkles her nose*
How long have you had that meat, dear?
*looks around and makes sure the coast is clear*
I…er…um…well…that is a good question.
*hides blood covered ShamWow*
should the “fridge” fart like that when you pull your meat out?
*shrugs*
*nom nom nom*
march 15?
REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE IDES OF MARCH
OMG!!!23!!!23!!!
No need, it sucks.
At least he said please.
That video is not gonna get any better simply by your spamming us repeatedly.
thank u somone knows the truth!
f
i
r
s
t
you sir have just FAILED
He toot too much time thinking about a funny way to do it.
^^^ this guy is the owner of a band-aid driving licence!
He must have had a tough time driving through all that oil.
he thought he was being really slick
*rigs up a plate*
all a-card-board
♫I am stuck on band aids cause band aids stuck on me♫.
Commercial jingle in the late 70′s.
*pretends not to be old enough to remember that*
*pretends not to remember Buck Rogers*
Bidi bidi, who?
You lookin’ for tweekies?
Looking for that CopperTone?
So, if I keep pumping, all will be well?
We could get a license for a mudcarrier?
We’d have to ask cap-in-hand.
$500 for a photocopy and he even threw in a few band-aids Sofa porch guy WIN!111111!!!!!
What kinda dollars?
I feel sorry for Subject (funny name though)
um, you know that Subject is not his name right?…..
Well, he’s active, all articles in this section speak of him!
Wait. So when you said to me “Now I’m gonna Subject you to…”, you mean you actually learnt that thing from him? Wow.
Oh he’s pretty nice, when he comes to my country he aliases, he calls himself “Verdachte” then
I never suspected you’d entertain verdachten O.o
Well, poledancing is a hobby
Fit for the task. Don’t forget the bandaid strips to keep things stuck on.
just not my hobby
Dancing around the issue?
I should change the subject before I get Clubbed!
I bought these cigarettes from the Marlboro man, he had a horse on his porch…
I bought this drink from a fat glass jar busting through a wall. OH YA.
don’t mess with Palmetto man!
Ever feel you should give up your day job and just prey on the stupid? $500 for a piece of paper and band-aids really?
I guess sometimes, if people want something enough, their perspective can get pretty skewed.
/
I wish to complain about this plate what I just bought from this very boutique.
Oh umm, the Norgegian plate? What’s wrong with it?
Wow, Aja bought a tectonic plate? That’s just…wow!
It’s pining for a Ford.
You can ford this river behind those pinetrees
♪ I once had a typo,
Or should I say,
I used too much G ♪
Norwegian would be correct spelling.
Well, it IS “Norge” in Norwegian.
Is it a China plate?
Hey, I live near Longboat Key/Palmetto!
Yup… this sounds about right.
Can I buy your sofa?
I say, that’s one comfortable looking sofa he’s having there!
*sits down*
*falls on a$$*
What the…? Hey, it’s a trompe l’oeil! It’s painted on the wall!
I would have expected a one thousand bombs and granates curse from you really
DUIZEND BOMMEN EN GRANATEN! YOU’RE RIGHT!
*giggles*
Of course I am Kaptein
500 bucks for a piece of paper… I wonder what a sofa would run you
A tad more and that’s WITHOUT the band-aids!
Actually… I recently purchased a photocopy of a drivers license, and the man told me that it was free band-aids with every purchase
There are some tears in the fabric that need something to keep it together
1 used car – $100
1 pack of band-aids $3.25
1 friend to tell the cop you just paid $500 for a photocopy of a phony licence plate – Priceless!
jeez how long does it take for ‘your comment is awaiting moderation’
About an hour or so from now
Yeah, we’ll let you know when we see it.
wow… kind of kills the whole “snappy comeback” persona I was going for…
Just don’t use the word a$$cheek, apparently it’s worse than peanis
Slaughtering two goats might speed up the process.
You need sex again?
There. I just had my lunch break.
Pulls out freshly harvested brains for lunch break.
When police arrived at Palmetto man’s house (with sofa on porch) they found the man trying to drink photocopied images of a bottle of alcohol. Instead of arresting the man for wrongful copying of legal documents they issued him a photocopy of a bottle opener.
I think Subject may have been an illegal alien illegally driving without a license or insurance.
damn you’re good.
You must be a racist! LOL
His stint in jail is going to leaving him longing for a bigger band-aid.
He might need to plaster over the crack?
(morning
)
And put up an EXIT ONLY sign for future reference.
I hope he knows how to back out of a sticky situation.
*pounces Ms B*
Birds don’t go to jail, do they?
Ah, jailbirds might…
It would have been far more tragic had the plate been real and the car a cleverly rendered photocopy.
I magine the girls he could pick up with a photocopy car!
wanna sit on the hood so I can photocopy your butt?
I’m sure if you peruse the wall at DW’s you will not need to see the real thing…
*rushes off to check*
They’d all be pretty two-dimentional.
I hear the 2D boost is much like racing stripes… it makes everything go faster! *is going to build an MRI machine…with racing stripes…*
Unfortunately for good field strength in Nuclear Magnetic Resonance you need superconduction, which means supercooling, i.e. using liquid Helium, that is such a bulky thing, no racing stripes will work I’m afraid…
Malicite Reality Integration?
hm, ok, I thought Magnetic Resonance Imaging
that explains the bandaids as well, a flying saucer has no real fixing point for a license plate
*puts photographic license plate on flying saucer*
no bandaids? Wow, is that primordial slime you used?
*limpsawaywithaquickedness*
No
*radio turns on*:Warning UFO spotted near a shanty house with fake sofa and fake license plates.
Hmm, I get the feeling that having a sofa on the porch describes just about every house in that area, along with the requisite Camaro on blocks in the yard, etc…
I’m sure the man who didn’t speak English was perfectly legally present in the United States as well.
Quite sure. Which is why he paid $500 for a fake license plate that he could pick up legally for much, much less.
If he was here legally…
why not just go download and print an image from Google. i’m pretty sure that is a lot cheaper. XD
life is like a box of chocolates…
what a retard!
my grandparents live just down the street from there… weiird.
Bandaids? You friggin kidding me?
“…from a Palmetto man who has a sofa on his porch” Ok… so he has a sofa… on his porch. That’s… relevant? XD