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Exxtremee!!!
i have that one and 7 others missing, need to get cooler
You forgot the most important step.
Be Boba Fett.
Sad thing is…this kid was taking notes from me..
So you speak European? Is it a hard language to learn?
trollface.jpg
/agree
took me almost 7 years to lern european. now i can speak it FUELNTILY, but i fraogt my engrish…
you’ll need more than a list like that to hang with me chump!
You could almost try to defend him, saying he’s a very ironic guy. But he put irony on the list too, so that would make it a paradox. Even sadder than that guy, is the people in here trying to pretend they would fit the list. Some people just don’t get it.
Well… Maybe YOU don`t get it!!! Because it is… ExXxtreme!!! =P
no offense, but you can’t insult me. i wear a leather jacket…
lol, you literally cannot reply to ulu… so you can’t insult him directly…
For the most part, that kid who wrote the list is just messed up by MTV & Co. But how f***ed up does a school system have to be, that a kid ca. 10 yrs old -most definetly not from GB or Ireland- thinks there is something like a european language.
Yeah, I love that he put irony in there. That made the whole thing worthwhile.
Please hang out with me Steve! Please! I need to be cool to impress a girl. I can’t do anything else on the list. You are my only hope!
haha, u learned european?? not french or german or anything. just european. awesome man! teach me the ways of european!
I will, if you take me shopping at Abercroombie and Flitch.
Hvad så med dansk? ringer det en klokke eller hvad? Det var da utroligt som det er franskmænd og tyskere, der skal definere europa – pffft!!! (intet had til dem, det er bare utroligt at det altid er dem, som amerikanere nævner, når europa nævnes
)
European language, right there..
european isnt a language dumbass…
Well, thank you, Captain Obvious.
http://rootzero.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/captain_obvious.jpg
…. and yet again, another of our courageous liutenants, Liutenant Obvious, is promoted to the next higher rank of…….
Really? That’s something, at least. All I found was this cipher to the Voynich Manuscript.
Or Skeletor, the soon-to-be Castle Grayskull’s Lord!!!!!!
Ai kan speekz viziGOTHian?????
Yes TheDevo, you see the trick to speaking European is getting plastered and having your tongue chopped off while trying to speak English. *BAM* the secret has been revealed, trolllord.douche
Actually, “European” doesn’t exist as language…
How do you dare to say something racist as that? European religion and language rules!
Gee, really?
Well, they tried to ‘make’ one once, but it was only got used by the nerd equivalent of a kids’ clubhouse ‘secret language.’
I can all but guarantee that somebody has tried to make a European language. Others find it more expedient to simply make everyone learn German.
Esperanto!!
irony?
seriously?
I have 5 of the top 10 so I MUST BE COOL!
I wish I could speak European…
me too.xD
Yeah, I’ve heard that that’s one of the harder languages to learn…
Erm, European is not a language!!!
Europe is a conglomerate of many different countries, all with their own languages!!
like Spanish, French, German, Italian, English, Welsh, Gaelic, Latin etc….
See, I’m not sure if you were being sarcastic. But if you weren’t… then JESUS.
*Woosh*
That was the sound of the joke flying over your head
Haha successful troll is successful.
don’t kill the troll, or was it only with messengers
James is cool as pie
mmmmm pie. I thought the pie was a lie and now I’m confused. Where’s Rando to explain it to me??????
actually the cake that is a lie
The cake is a lie.
Pie is the awesome
SKY PIE!? Oh Patton, how I adore you.
For the love of nekkid-son-of-God, of course he was being sarcastic! Stop trolling! Seriously, I know you weren’t even rude, james, and you’re probably an awesome person, but ffs, read between the lines!
james: you are a douche
YEAH JAMES F*CK YOU! *Angry mob forms
James, if your mom says things like that… You know you’re in trouble.
My friend’s mom called him a son of a b*ch, then realized what she said…
hahahaha james u r douchebag man and as for the rest of you I give u a sarcastic WIN!
James, you’re a bell-end!
How can anybody say ” I wish I could speak European?
Don’t they know that there is no such language?
We have over 40 languages and variations .. which one would you like?
*woosh x2
or you just missed sarcasm by I Miram
Sensitive issue that European language… Now I really want to speak it!
Yeah, European isn’t a language…it’s a state of mind.
A *naked* state of mind.
A *threesome naked* state of mind.
A *massive orgy* state of mind
Europe… The sexiest place ever <3
Really all of it? Most of it is just old and dirty.
Matt, don’t ruin it for me, i’m begging you.
Old and dirty can be sexy as hell… unless you talk about the old fart next door! *shudder*
F*cking hell, stop jamesing!!
Man, I’m really jamesing for some sarcasm right now.
I think thats kinda the point of what makes it funny.
James, you are more stupider than the kid who wants to speak European
Who’s the most “stupider” you say, Ranya?
tikni: Rayna, not Ranya. ^^
Morten: tinki, not tikni. ^^
c-c-c-c-combo breaker!!!
srry, always wanted to say that, is in my “ways to be cool” list
Ranya sounds cooler
the “more” is redundant. more is implied by stupider.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure she meant to say “most stupider”.
No i was using Engrish to explain my point
go back speaking european james
james comment fail. sarcasm win.
Maybe James was just being double-sarcastic and it flew over YOUR head.
Yeah, maybe.
wtf.
nice sense of humour you got there…
I think “James” is European for “simple”.
latin?
yes latin
OMG, James. Irony. That’s a language you may learn.-
I speak fluent irony..
They speak Latin in Europe?
Don’t you people know anything??? They speak Latin in Latin America. (Yes, this is sarcasm.)
Latin – in wich Country do they speak Latin ???
At the state of the Vatican City :p
don’t they speak Latin in Latvia?
It’s a dead language that most of the european languages are based on.
Do you see the irony, Baldrick?
Irony, m’lord? Is that like goldey or bronzy?
Woohoo! Blackadder FTW!
Most is an over statement. 5-7 are latin based. 8-10 are germanic and 12+ are slavic.
In Latin America actualy.
BS!!! I went to Latin America, and I can tell you that they dont speak Latin OR American there.
Im from europe and I can tell you are telling bs here! Dont you diss tghe european language! Europe is best country!
Lmao!
Europe is not a country… EH. It’s a continent, idiot.
My god, I always thought it was a city… We are so lucky to have you around Tinki.
Erm, Latin is a dead language!!!
It has been for hundreds of years.
…JESUS!!! haha
Actually, Jesus spoke Aramaic.
hey james, I wanna learn to speak Asian, or maybe American.
LATIN? haha
Huh, Europe is like the U.S.A., a country.
Spain, France, Germany, etc… are states.
Spanish, French, German are dialects of the same language, the European language.
No, really, I think you meant “continent”, not “conglomerate”.
No, it isn’t, there’s the E.U, but it’s more like a club that has no real leader. It’s not as tightly bound as the state system.
Well, the EU is considered a federation by many, but I guess the european states are more independent than the american states. Saying that french and german are dialects of the same language is just plain wrong though.
No, the E.U is just for trade and to make the European Countries work together, it is nothing like the Soviet Union or the United States.
England is still England the Country, so is France and Germany, they are independent and no one owns or runs the E.U
It’s just like an alliance.
Lots of common laws, regulations and no border controls qualifies for calling it something more than an trade alliance if you ask me. U.S. states are independent to some degree too.
England is not a country. UK is.
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is a sovereign nation composed of 4 countries: England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. The UK is part of the EU, but still maintains its own currency (in fact, each of the four countries in the UK prints its own currency).
There are countries in Europe thats not a part of EU! Like Iceland, Norway and Switzerland, and som others!
i hope to god you’re being sarcastic
I will make love to your corpse with a flaming cactus.
Actually, there’s no place in Europe where you still speak Latin; it’s a “dead language”..
Sidney, “Vatican City” is in “Europe” where the official language is “Latin”.
“Quotation marks”.
The Holy See uses Latin for official documents, but the Vatican City does not have an official language. ” ” ” ” ” “
Isn’t Latin a dead language?
Yes, I was being sarcastic. Thought it was obvious enough. Guess not. I’ll have to work on that.
yeah, especially Latin is a widespread language in Europe.
Although the end of the roman empire was kind of a setback for latin
And not only that, that’s not how you spell “extreme”! Who checks these things?
Latin?
Seriously? You think there’s a country where people speak latin?
Amazing how people take everything seriously… Especially on a website that tends to make fun of everything.
“Ab ove maiori discit arare minor.”
ps; Latin and Gaelic are DEAD languages…
GAEILGE is not dead. i’m not even a passionate supporter of the irish language its just annoying to see so many assumptions about a language that every scholchild learns and speaks everyday, that is on every road sign and that is a huge part of life here. please check your facts. no offense intended i’m trying to be polite : )
they were being sarcastic. changing the subject, nobody in ireland ever uses the word gaelic. if we’re speaking english the term for our language is irish and if we’re speaking irish the term is gaeilge, pronounced gwaylga. for historical reasons its a small but significant difference : )
but in Scotland, they call it Gaelic. Annie didn’t necessarily say Irish-Gaelic, or Scots-Gaelic. (and no, Scots Gaelic isn’t the same as Old Scots.) They also have Gaelic schools here, and the road signs up north are written in Gaelic as well as English.
[Ironic mode ON]
Wait… are you sure???
RABBLERABBLERABBLE! The kid may not know European, but I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that he speaks American fluently.
Latin?!
WTF?!
I am so lucky there is an European workshop nearby. And I live in Europe! How lucky…
my aunt spoke European till she died,
Mine too, and my grandma and…
Maybe by “European” he actually means “British”
no, he does not. he mens european, douch! britan is not in europe
Wow! Spell-check FAIL!
my pleasure…
I would like to inform you to Britian is in Europe it just does have the euro, and that there actually was a european language but no one uses it, google it if yoy don’t belive me
It’s is a WORLD-language, smartypants. You know Americans speak english, and you just did it yourself? Even we SCANDINAVIANS has it as second languange in school. DURR.. And Britain does not use euro.. lol.
I just read that comment again. You ment that indoeuropean language that was made to “unite” europe. Yeah, i failed a little.
It’s called “Esperanto”
I would like to inform you that you are right that Britain is in Europe, but they don’t have the euro. What might be better for them. We have some problem with these thing, as you might know… just want our good old Deutsche Mark back…
Hey, you failed in stealing a nickname
no shit?
Geography fail! The UK is in Europe.
In one of the debates leading up to the UK elections, a question from the audience was “Should we be a part of Europe?” (not verbatim).
Yeah, a BNP (aka nazi) arguement
Pretty sure the Nazis wanted us to be part of a united Europe, what with all their invasion plans.
As a country we need to discuss the issue of European Federalism because thats what Europe wants, but thats not what the British people want.
Next ask the Irish people if they want to be part of the UK, and the Scottish people. I am afraid we can whittle away almost infinitely.
well being scottish myself and knowing many other scottish and irish people i can safely say that a lot of people form scotland and northern ireland do want to be part of the UK, but lets not get into politics shall we
Maybe Alex means ‘nazi’ as in ‘I hate everyone who isn’t me’, and never intended going very deep in historical debate.
Traditionally we considered ourselves apart from Europe. The terms Europe and Continental were once synonymous.
Yeah… I hate when they still use it as such… The term continental should only be used for the breakfast… xD Anyway; Ethnically you are Celts (All over Europe), then Romans(Italy?), then Saxons(Germany) and then Normands(France). It’s the same tectonic plate as the rest of Europe and now there’s even a straw passing under The Channel. As well, capitalism has brought red double deckers to all other capitals here. In fact, do they speak any other language than English and Benidorm anymore? I’d even say the same for Barcelona; you guys love Spain, at least Spain loves you back (Nick Clegg huh?) So cheers! xD
Wow. Just wow. and so confident in your facts as well, where did it all go wrong for you?
Whenever somebody says “Speak European” I instantly think of Esperanto…
Buon Tagon! Mi estas aphexZero, Kiu estas vi?
Did you say, good evening, i’m “”, what are you looking at? Isn’t that like Catalan or something?
What language?
Read my lips:
U-RO-PEEN
No, not U-RO-PEEIN!
more like YOU-ROH-PEE-AN
There are different accents of European aswell. The one you’re probably the most familiar with is called British English. I also know Swedish. Does that sound interesting? Class start this monday, 2:00 PM European time. Oh, that’s 14:00, how silly of me.
I can speak European.
I am Steve. Yes, hanging out with me will make you cool
Hi, Steve! Am I double cool if I am your online friend?
If I’m Madness’ mate, so I’m a friend of a friend’s of Steve’s. How much coolness do I get?
MADNESS!?
SPARTA!!!!
THIS IS SPARTAAAAA!!!!!
It’s triple cool if you are his EXXXTREME online friend.
Quintuple-cool if you are his “Hollywood” and physcrock friend
Yea…but if you are ever in Williamsburg hit me up. We can kick it at Abercrombie.
Not Abercrombie, Steve! AMBERCROOMBIE!!
Dude. Can I get permission to think about you when I masturbate later?
No, you do not have permission. That would be uncool and Steve does not do uncool.
Hrmpf. I’m still gonna.
James called, he said that he gives you permission.
Steve I’ve been looking all over for you!!! Can we hang out tonite? I lost all my cool looking at James’ comments!
dude im like halfway there
with a motorcycle + helmet + leather you’d already be there
Why is “helmet” on the list? I thought it was EXXXTREME to not wear a helmet?
He forgot to add “Sit in the snow” to the list.
Oh, and go ice blocking!
Irony.
Supah-kewl!
Kewl designer shades, DW!
Oh, how embarrassing! I got the same glasses you did!
Damn, I’ve been wondered what I’ve been doing wrong all these years!
Now I too can be cool! xtreeeeme cool!
So who wondered you?
*sneaks into comment and replaces “ed” with “ing” and sneaks back out*
*sneaks into comment and replaces “cool” with “gay” and sneaks back out.*
1st….I agree to all the points above…more than 5 fulfilled and you are super extra cool
Irony gets you +1 coolness point…
I’ve got six, including eating more meat. Nice.
to be first at failblog doesn`t makes you cool
But this is a list made by someone who is clearly not cool, how would someone who is not cool know what’s cool? This person is so uncool that even their notion of what cool is is uncool. Therefore, everything on this list is uncool, unless this list was made by a cool person as a joke, but then they would still be trying to come up with things that an uncool person would think is cool but really isn’t, so that’s the proof that everything on this list is uncool, regardless of how cool the person making it is.
This is a list made by Cam Archer for the film Wild Tigers I have known. It’s written by a character who is a young boy and the camera just briefly shows a portion of the list. The film has a very hipster sensibility so the list is somewhat tongue in cheek and self deprecating.
I agree with all of that… but move to Williamsburg? That’s just silly!
You agree with Abercrombie & Flitch? We are probably not speaking the same European…
Yep, Flitch is great!!! I speak eastern-west dialect, you?
north-southern dialect carries the most meaning thou
No no, it’s Ambercrombie & Flitch, the European extension….
Abercroombie, actually…note the two o’s…its the Austrian Ghetto extension. They do factory resales and liquidations of misprinted merchandise. They often advertise on http://engrishfunny.com
Can’t say I can see the “real” fail here. They’re all quite funny, but am I missing something in particular?
yes, you missed the fact that he said “learn the language European, which is a continent and not a country”.
enrique: like james, also a douche
Or even a language…
Yeah, in the United States, we speak American, and America is a continent, so… I don’t even know where I’m going with this…
No, you dont speak american, you speak english, no matter what you say…
Actually we speak U.S. English.
Hah. Yeah. That’s like calling an imported car a “U.S. car”.
Wow, you fail spectacularly.
English and U.S. English are indeed two different things. Did you honestly think the U.S. was the first to speak English?
What? No. Britain was the first to speak english. Then some of them emigrated over here, and now most americans speak english with a slight dialect compared to how they speak in britain. I meant that if you import a volvo from sweden and put an aftermarket muffler on it, it’s still a swedish volvo.
American as a language? So Spanish, French, Dutch and Portuguese spoken in the “New World” are also American languages? So, in any case, What do Canadians speak? Canadian language? Or they imported U.S English?
In fact, I find London Cogney and Posh accents to be more different from each other than the general London accent and a general U.S accent.
When I lived in Norway for two years, kids there would insist we spoke American and we’d say, “No, we speak English,” but they were never convinced. At the time they taught only British English in the schools there, which does have some minor grammar and spelling differences. The kids all wanted to speak ‘American,’ though because of the Hollywood films and TV shows they watched.
fail
You are going to flunk Geography, that’s where you’re going.
You need to be more physcrock, according to the list….I’m not cool enough to know what that is…
You need to be more psycrock, according to the list….I’m not cool enough to know what that is…
Whups
“psycrock” ERMH??? Whaa..??
Wow, now I fail…Ouch!
Hang out with Steve. Always a good choice.
On the moon?
No, on a boat, silly.
I’m on a horse.
sitting backwards?
smelling like the man my man should smell like?
that’s the gayest thing I’ve ever read….. even in European!
*Sings* I’m on a boat!
*shoots Special K*
You’re supposted to snort it. Duh!
They say that writing down your goals and making lists helps you achieve them. Way to go, kid! You’re almost there!
That’s over half!
over calf?
Over-caffeinated?
Did he achieve the ones that have been crossed out?
I say “he” cause that is soooooo not a “she”.
Too true. Growing facial hair is never cool if you’re a she.
UNLESS you’re a wolverine girl. Not you in particular, just any wolverine girl. They tend to be exxxtreemly hairy
Personal experience, SK?
its kinda hard to “experience” a wolverine girl.. guess where her blades are..
Whoever wrote this list is obviously a trite hipster in the making. Thus, one of the crossed out objectives had to have been “Work for Pitchfork”.
I really, really wonder what ideas the author reconsidered and decided to cross out.
Crossing them off the list just means he finished that one.
But he crossed them out with extreme prejudice and now we can’t see what they were so we’ll be unable to follow in his footsteps!
Question answered it seems. Perhaps I should have read further.
One of the crossed out ones said “Cross out some items from Ways to be cool list”
No. It says “DON’T cross out items from Ways To Be Cool list”. That’s why it’s a fail.
can you imagine how shameful those must have been?
Hm, well this kid seems to have his priorities listed out. Though like Eris I’m curious as to what are the ones that are crossed out…
Crossed out ones:
Get on FailBlog
Hire my body out
…Ambercroombie & Flitch?
Oh my.
Really makes me wonder about the ones that were crossed out…
I’m still trying to figure out what “psychrock” is. I suppose I’m not cool enough either.
I kind of wish I could be there when he goes shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch with his mohawk.
And helmet!
Today’s drinking game!
Every time someone wonders about the items that were crossed out, we have to do a shot.
*does three shots*
*does three shots too, also*
*does some squeezes for good measure*
*does three shots*
Ah I needed that after today.
Some days I wonder why I get out of bed at all.
*does three shots*
*squeezes MerQueen*
*saftey*Doesn’t it make you wonder?
Today was not my day.
I feel like everything that could go wrong, went wrong.
*squeeeeeeze*
Many, many things that could have gone wrong did not. So there is that. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you, though.
*squeezes back*
Thanks Dragon
I always try to concentrate on the positive things, it just doesn’t always work.
I think I’m just going to do something fun to relax, make a nice drawing or something.
Oooh! Art therapy!
*hunkers down and peers over Mer’s shoulder as she draws*
I’ll post a link on FB2 when I’m done
Oo. I’ll send you a friend request then.
You’re still breathing, so it’s another successful day.
*squeezes Scott*
That is true
*thinks for a moment and wonders what that says about ZA*
Hehehe you said butt.
It has been a long day, now go play in traffic or something.
Okayz. I luvz traffic.
Who said “butt”??? Nawt mi! stil wonderin what Psychrock iz. Just a lttl prompt. or maybie Ai hasnt red dwn teh thread farhther enuf tew get teh answer???
Could someone translate? I don’t speak European……
But … but … but …
*does another shot*
*squeezes NS*
Oh dear, how did I miss this shot?
I REALLY should have read further. May I have a bukkit now, to bury my shame?
Most guys named Steve are on the other side of cool, duchebag, with only a few exceptions
Steve Austin, Both
because gary is a way cooler name than steve.
one of the crossed-out lines reads: “get more head from gary”
haha eat more meat
But I’m a part-time vegetarian, I don’t want to east more meat
*Takes MerQueen by the arm.*
Perhaps you need to get some west…
♫♪ Go West ♫♪
Fantastic band, MerQueen. Not everything in the 80′s was bad.
Well…he may not have meant *that* kind of meat…I mean, chicks dig gay dudes…
You know, so we can stay AWESOME. (clicky for explanation)
I’m suggesting WIN
Hey! Does anyone know a place where you can learn European? XD
Europe?
School.
northpole..those penguins speak fluid european
Penguins at the north pole?
I don’t think they even have American speaking penguins there.
hell yeah there are a bunch of european speaking penguins there, but they are also ninjas, so noone has ever seen them
European-speaking Ninja Penguins. Sounds like a great idea for a movie!
*dreams of the merchandising opportunities*
I bet Rosetta Stone has some kind of software it… It is pretty popular.
I put “it” twice… that’s sad.
*cries*
/me pours himself a glass of european
Watch a dozen different dramas with different languages all at the same times. Words should begin to filter through until – after 72 hours of non-stop soap watching – you have a general idea of speaking noises through your mouth. *salutes you*
I have only one thing to say…”THIS KID IS A GENIUS”.
I believe in his native language it would be spelled “genious.”
“Abercroombie & Flitch”
lol
I know Flitch! We grew facial hair together! He wore all black and leather jackets all the time. Too bad he moved to Williamsburg… Who else will wear exxxtreme cologne with me now? He was always trying to get me to eat more meat, but I settled for riding motocycles (with helmets), mohawks, designer shades, and of course, guitar playing! But when I decided to make my own movie, I ditched him to hang with Steve. Now that Flitch is a European-speaking band photographer, who’s all into 360′s and psychrock, I’m only friends with him online. Ironic, huh? Well, I’m off to Hollywood, where hopefully I can subscribe to Vice. Good bye, everyone! *Takes bow*
WIN!!! *claps furiously at professor bob’s speech*
Thank you, Professor. I’m laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes!
EPIC WIN!!!
So now we show the fantasy lists of obviously 13 year olds?
The real FAIL is that so many losers here are apparently also 13 and agree.
PROTIP: It’s not the stuff that makes you cool! It’s you that makes the stuff cool! Period.
It also helps not to be 13, or anything near it.
The closer you are to 13, the more of a WIN this becomes. For me, it’s definitely a FAIL.
barEfooT is so cool he can give us his Pro Tips?
what’s the matter, douche? Jealous?
Man , Steve is so cool.
but joe sucks
WIN!
Helmets
Wearing a helmet is so geeky that it’s cool. Being made a vegetable via head injury is completely the opposite of cool.
Especially when the rest of us have to foot the bill! ATGATT.
The first word of the crossed out sentence is Get
Get laid?
Get paid?
Get stuffed? Or is that the same thing as Judy’s suggestion?
I’m gonna go with “get laid”
Get weighed!
So, my butt DOES look fat!
No, it just relates to an old joke I heard:
Sit down kiddies, while uncle Ferme tells you a story…
On their first date, Joe took Rose to the carnival. When he asked her what she wanted to do first, Rose replied, “Get weighed.”
So Joe took her to the man with the scale who guesses your weight. He looked at Rose and said, “One hundred and twenty pounds.” Since Rose weighed in at one seventeen, she collected a prize.
Next they went on the roller coaster. When the ride was finished, Joe asked Rose what she wanted to do next. “Get weighed,” she said. So they went back to the man with the scale, who of course guessed Rose’s weight correctly. Leaving without a prize, they went for a ride on the merry-go-round. After they got off, Joe asked Rose what she wanted to do next. “I want to get weighed!” she said again.
Now Joe began to think this girl was quite strange, and decided to end the evening quickly. He left her at the door with a quick handshake.
Rose’s roommate, Laura, was waiting up for her return and asked how the evening went.
“Oh Wauwa, it was wousy!” Rose replied.
Damn straight, I’m the coolest.
“Learn to speak European”
Not German, French or English, but “European”
I just accidently the whole list.
is this how one speaks European?
yes, fcukhead
that’s how you say “i still use that meme” in 4chanese
Anyone noticed that this kid thinks a helmet makes him cool?
only if the helmet is made of tinfoil
Well, survival is cooler than the alternative.
I’m just impressed with his spelling. Pretty good for someone dumb enough to make the list in the first place.
On the other hand, maybe he should’ve failed properly.
Abercroombie & Flitch?
How does one Abercroombie and/or Flitch?
With extreme psychrock…
yesssss! im on there! i race motocross!
Which coming-of-age high school comedy is this supposed to advertise?
it was actually from a movie that came out in 2006 –> “wild tigers i have known”.
Good good film huh?!!
lovely soundtrack. EJW
THIS IS AN EXXXXTREME POST!!!!
am i cool yet?
Nope, add some more ice.
The last crossed-out starts with W.
win on failblog? if thats so he failed
I am about to do my job TO THE EXXXXXXXTREME!!!
dude dude theres only one thing you need to play in a band and wear tight pants and be a douche who hits on everyones girl!!!!!!
i see EXXXTREME FAIL if he has Helmet+Mohawk+facial Hair+Motorcycles+speaks European. Immigration is going to have fun shipping him back to Europe.
This had to be something done in class – like a brainstorming session led by a middle school health teacher to start a talk on peer pressure.
Finally someone has managed to make sense of this deranged insanity! Kudos!
I half eleven points!
That’s almost half!
See, kiddos?
That’s what happens when you type too fast and think of rhyming words.
*Replaces first “Half” with “have”*
He forgot barbed wire arm band tattoo
Designer shades, mohawks, and helmets don’t usually go well together.
ive got four points. does that make me win or fail?
aw if this was serious it’s so sad….
OMG everybody seriouly love fails these days!! it completes life!!
No. THIS is the ONLY way to be cool. You must listen to this song over and over again until it’s burned into your soul:
ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anbrb2u9GYI
Oh, and this one, too:
ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23eZMdixAuk
How about…?
ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJ_pWQUL85c&feature=related
You really never cease to amaze me with your music knowledge, bro.
ceases, too! lolz
I know what you’re saying…
*squeeze*
Thank you.
So much.
Haha, I actually saw these guys live a few years back. My most awestruck moment was when the lead singer jumped up, and did a round-house kick right into the chest of the bass player. The guy was pushed back and toppled over his amp, playing the song the whole time! He got back up and got right back into it.
Okay.
That’s.
Pretty cool.
*hangs head in defeat*
I wouldn’t call it defeat. De-hands maybe……
De agony of de-hands?
You should check out some of DRI’s work:) ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGCcQu245Hk
Not the ONLY way, this one makes you ice chill.
ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7b_DaILYiQ
youtube says “This video contains content from Vevo, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds” – I guess Mr Vevo doesn’t like Europe?
I hope these are in order. Steve must be so particular about the people he hangs out with.
Dude you gotta quantify everything, and put it in order from most crucial to least crucial. The list should be titled ” 23 Ways to be Cool” with “On-line friendships” at #1!
This Steve guy must be pretty awesome. Just saying.
Ok, now I’m really trying to be cool, can you guys help me out? I need to find out what psychrock is, what is Vice and how do I subscribe and will any Steve do?
S’all up der, sPiTfIrE ↑↑. It’s a guide to being cool.
Live it.
Learn it.
Know it.
This looks quite a bit like my brother’s handwriting…or does all male slob handwriting look the same?
Depends. Are you misogynistic?
What does being misogynistic has to do with it?
sound like the road of douchebaggery to me.
i dont get it
It’s a fail, you see, neg. On Fail Blog. What more could there ever be?
The comments are really worth reading. Better than the paper
Yes. We like it here. Very much.
eat more meat lol! cause colon cancer is so in style right now!
Yeah, also kidney stones.
I’m just going to hang out with steve
So if Steve is a loner…is he still cool?
like…he’s too cool for anyone else…kinda cool. Everyone wants to hang with Steve, but Steve’s coolness rejects us all. He is the coolness-ninja-pirate-Captain-America-look-alike who traded up his spandex for a medieval tunic and leather leggings and learned to play the lute. None of us can compare to Steve. None of us! We are all doomed to be mere sail boats of coolness floating along in the great sea of awesomeness that is known as “Steve.”
The sad thing is, I think my ex boyfriend wrote this.
Ironically, this comment would make you inevitably less cool than your ex boyfriend, or he would not have left you to hang out with Steve.
I’ve gotta meet this awesome Steve character.
European FAIL. haha
Dinsdale!
O Steve, bless this Thy coolness that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies minds to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu…
will you be my XXXXxxExXtreeeme online friend?
Speaking European… Hummmm.. Where was European language was spoken.. ROFL…
“Online Friendships”
I lol’d
“Eat more meat” – HA! Epic fail.
i only scored 6 points. and i had to stop hanging out with Steve coz i started my European language classes. Coolness paradox….
ha ha ha “learn to speak european” awesome.
erm does this “360s” note mean XboX 360s?? If yes, its an epic Fail! (Even Ps2 PWNZ 360 – as it works for hours without dying!:-D
European? What european language?
Of course all the cool people shop at Abercrombie & Flitch.
Aw Geez! I only have 3 of those and one of those is speaking European.
So would that mean I can include Irony ?
I wonder how many of those “Steve” has?
Now, see, I’m from What. I realize What probably ain’t no country you ever heard of, but we speak European in What.
“Ways to be cool” this is sooo a win.. yay i now know what it is to be so unjustly failboated
did i mention im retarded
yehooo no i didnt, failol
Abercrombie & Flitch? Shouldn’t that be Fitch? Brand name recognition fail!
No, Jambonus– Abercrombie & Fitch is SO UNCOOL!! What’s cool is AMBERCROOMBIE & FLITCH!
Wow… This kid needs to DIE!
Are you 12 or just act like it? You fail way worse than whoever wrote the list. Saying an obliviously young child “needs to die”? What a jerk.
It only knows European if you are standing next to Steve at the urinals.
Hi guys, infact, there s a european language, called “esperanto”. It s an artifical language .. plans to use them as european language were in the early 80s verry common… but obviously they failed;-)
yeah guys im from the uk…….its not part of europe we had problems with is joining the euro….we still have pounds not euros…we are very much part of europe!
But you don’t speak European!
I need to obtain this “Hollywood”, anybody know where to search?
Any lumber merchant.
“Learn to speak European”……..Dumb shit Americans.
36Ds!
Love ‘em!
Damn, even as a European I am not able to speak European.
Why are you Americans fascinated by us anyway?
I think it’s the “grass is always greener” effect.
For example, young US guys traveling to Europe like to assume that European women are freer and uninhibited (read: easy). European guys (so I’ve heard from traveling American women) have the same beliefs about them, apparently.
Actually, I blame advertising. You can’t watch TV for 5 minutes without seeing some crappy made-in-China product advertised as Euro-styled or using “European engineering” or some such nonsense. We even have products with”Euro” in the name. Because that makes them more… nifty. Somehow.
God, no wonder you guys think we’re idiots.
No your last president was the reason for that. However exposure to American TV and the American people generally don’t help either.
Funny — I wrote a list almost exactly like this called “Ways to Become a Total Douchebag.”
I’m a facial hair covered meat eating mostly black dressed irony speaking european who listens to rock. How cool must I be.
saw this on /b/
Does anyone even know where to start???
Ambercroombie & Flitch is the best brand ever! 8D
Do I see Mawhawks?
*runs away*
This list? All True
Irony, speak European, 360s – love it.
Well I must be cool because I wear my helmet everywhere!
Jag fatar ignetting och jagg är ändå knug i et europseiskt land; Svärje.
You can’t speak European, it’s not a country
Ragna, take a deep breath, honey, and go back to your corner. It will all be okay.
Listen to her. She spoke in perfectly clear New Zealander
… Am I the only one who thought of 90′s Kid at the ‘EXXXXTREME!’ bit? Please tell me I’m not the only Linkara fan here.
i’ve got 7 from the list!
but sadly i do not know how to speak european, DANGIT!
I guess European is a hard language to learn since I’ve never heard anyone speaking it.
Surely that’s the best way to be cool!
Ok, fail on failblog. That list is taken from a movie called “Wild tigers i have known” …
And, european isnt ONE language
Oh really? Fail at understanding the fail.
By the way, thank God I’ve been learning European since I was born, that makes me so totally cool.
Yes, it is. Since when can one country have several languages? Ergo, European is spoken in Europe.
Good luck with that 4th one. I’ve been living in Europe for years and I still can’t speak European! It’s SO hard!! There is, like, all these dialects, like “French” and “Dutch” and “German”. TOTALLY confusing!
Don’t put yourself through all that. Just hang out with Steve and you’ll be fine XD
First thing should of be:
Take writing classes, than spelling and grammar classes.
Funny, from the looks of it, seems like some bully forcefully took the handbook away from him. Probably Steve.
This is the greatest thing ever.
I am looking for Asian and American classes. I would also like to speak Atlantic fluently like Aquaman.
MESSAGE TO THE GUY/GIRL WHO WROTE THIS LIST:
It is not a “Fail”, it is just a random list.
It’s not even funny, so why is it here? Jerkface stole someone elses notebook.
This has been floating around the intertubes for years. Guy (obvy) who wrote this is probably Steve’s manager at the car dealership by now.
Staged
I can say from experience that moving to Williamsburg and hanging out w/Steve do the trick.
Linda Barry?
At least it doesn’t say “Abercrombie and Filtch.”
my grammer wears classes and has spells does that count
We found Butters, no where is Kyle?
Obviously I meant “now”…
sounds like a plan!
Missing on this list is: “Writing a list of ways to be cool”.
$$$$ for the kid who wrote this list if the corps he mentions sponsor him, give him all this shit to see whether or not it turns him “cool”. It could be an MTV show called The Cool Experiment. Pop would eat itself, we’d have a spectacle, money would change hands, and an interesting story could maybe be told.
Learning to spea k European is so eXXXXtreme…
The Win goes to whomever posted this. Unless it’s the poor kid’s dad, who should have borne the responsibility of teaching his child that Ambercroombie and Flitch is SO not cool. But irony is, so it might be a wash.
HE FORGOT BEATING BANJO KAZOOIE >=D
I can’t believe he left ‘wear a fedora’ off the list!
Steve must be a really cool guy.
I think it’s cute. Just cute. With a bit of geeky, shy and not loved enough blended in, but still cute.
…and yes, here be dragons – I’m from Europe. I speak few european languages. Maybe that’s what he meant? Speak *any* european language? The list looks like something by early teenager… He (why not she?) might just be thinking like “Which one of them?” and then write down a short/brain map version…
GAWD, please, just let the james comment die!
Also, I’m thinking the kid who wrote this list is pretty awesome. That’s probably just me.
I can’t fault a single thing on this list. It seems very well thought-out. Except maybe, who is Steve?
So the secret is to hang out with Steve in Williamsburg while you wear your Abercrombie and Fitch leather jackets, designer shades, facial hair, cologne, and helmets over your mohawk and do 360′s on your motorcycles while listening to psychrock. Yeah, I guess that’s cool. But then, perhaps the entire first half of the list is IRONY. Therefrore, to be cool you’ve gotta try to take up the guitar, fail, and instead become an all-black-wearing band photographer nicknamed “Hollywood” while making your own EXXXTREME movie with you online friends in which you all eat EXXXTREME amounts of meat. Named Steve.
Why is everyone acting so seriously about the “European” thing?
I mean we all know it is a language..
I hope you’re not serious…O_o
The comments are so much funnier than the list. Lucky for me I know a guy named Steve and I do hang out with him so I’m so cool you could put me in yo whiskey.
I can speak “European”, am I cool now?
Helmets and 360′s – good choice.
It’s a Dialect, a blend of European and the everywhere like such as languages.
The list is a prop for the movie Wild Tigers I Have Known. A 12 year old boy is shown writing it in just a few frames, so the entire list isn’t actually visible. Since the entire film has a very young trendy sensibility, the anti-hipster stuff is a joke – tongue in cheek and self deprecating.
It’s embarrassing that so few people understand that.
Amen.
I saw that movie as well. I can’t believe think this is real.
Hmmm…Williamsburg, European. Maybe he needs a trip to Busch Gardens?
Whoa whoa whoa! I’ve got to go find steve!!!
At least he found time for Steve..
I feel so sorry for whomever wrote this. This was probably posted here as a bullying tactic, and that’s not cool. It was probably written by a 5th or 6th grader, a young child. It’s really not cool for adults be laughing at the failure of a little kid who clearly has social issues and need help.
All of you, grow up, and don’t pick on little children. There is no way this was a high school senior, unless they’re autistic, and again, laughing at young children and/or the handicapped is not cool.
if they were trying to avoid being laughed at and made fun of, failblog is not the place to put it. hello, FAILblog!
This was probably ripped out of some child’s notebook by a bully and posted here. The bully wants to engage us in bullying some poor child by laughing at this. I’ve seen this kind of thing before, and it’s not cool or funny. The fail is everybody who’s amused by it.
This is stupid and cliche
He forgot to add listen to the Jonas Brothers to the list
Ways to be cool
1. Learn to write multiple lines while keeping the same margin
I hang out with Steve.
Can’t believe nobody has said this…
COOL LIST, BRO!!!
I’m an actual living female homo sapiens, and I kinda love this guy.
How did you find your way out of the kitchen? I’ll draw you a map to the sandwich makings if you need help.
Jesus on a stick, u guise. At first I thought the sarcasm was funny. Then it amused me that the knowitalls didn’t get the sarcasm. And then the whole thing just took off and was killed by dumb people acting smart.
I especially hated the “England is not a country, the UK is” (I hope it was sarcasm, because I got tired of reading the earlier comments)
I enjoy a good sarcasm, but here:
Latin really is dead, except for in some areas. UK consists of four countries.
Not all of Europe is part of the EU.
But man, European sure is a cool country. I heard that the Twilight books came from Norway <3
LOL Speak European XD How old is this kid? 5?
Alice- Latin is dead EVERYWHERE. You see, the term “dead language” does not mean that the tongue is no longer in use or that it is never spoken. It simply means it has ceased to evolve and change.
This list is from Justin Bieber’s notebook. Written early last week after he was videoed running into a glass door for the second time after being distracted by small children laughing at his haircut.
“learn to speak european” Didn’t know europe was a country!
speak european..jeez
xD “learn to speak European” ??????
.. and English … thats 4! 
am i cool now ? 
Since when is a European language pls! xD
“learn to speak European languages” would be better!
I can speak 3 !
*yawn*
monday morning….
lol eat more meat
Micsodaaa???? Hihetetlen, csak nem amerikai a gyerek? Jesszus, de hiszen en beszelek europaiul!
I can speak European too
Oooh, jeez…..
Nah thats just puberty
2010′s guide to being a douche…