All the world’s a stain,
And all the men and women merely washers;
They have their whites and their colors,
And one man in his time dries many pants,
His wash being seven stages.
I am thy mother’s spirit;
By no uncertain terms – no wash tonight,
You’re for the day confin’d to jogging pants,
Till the foul stains done in your days of labor
Are rinsed and spun away.
Is this detergent which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, lame-ass present, sensible
To feeling as to sight? Or art thou but
Detergent of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the man-oppressed brain?
True, I say this dress;
Which is invention of an idle brain,
Begot of nothing but perv fantasy;
It is as thin of substance as the air,
And more translucent than the wind, it props
Even now the massive bosom at her North
And, being flimsy, puffs away from thence
Friends, fullers, countrymen,
Lend me your quarters.
I come to scrub Caesar, not to rinse him.
The skid marks that men do live after the wash;
The bleach is oft diverted in the load.
(not sure I can compete with Willie’s Ghost there)
Two bangers, tryn’ta be O.G.,
Out in the hood, where we lay our scene,
‘pon ancient sidewalks fall and skin the knee,
Where civil blood makes baggy pants unclean.
I keep seeing all these comments about the date being wrong and crap like that. Duh.. It’s simply that you don’t give your mother laundry detergent for mothers day! Nor should looking at laundry soap make you think of your mother! now Im off to my moms to do laundry
I remember an advertisement for a pet shop in a Dutch newspaper many years ago, which stated the following: “Now for mother’s day: 20 per cent discount on all cages”.
Ya know, I clicked here wondering whether or not this post would be full of jerks proclaiming this sign a win. No surprises here. Oooh, I wonder if anyone will make one of those hilarious women making sandwich jokes! Surely, that would be LOL-worthy!
On a happy note, happy Mother’s Day to all of the wonderful Moms, Mums, Mommies, MaMas, and Mothers. I hope your day was blessed. (whichever date it happened to be on ;-])
The post gave me a chuckle, but I was certainly thankful I did not have to do clothes on Mother’s day
Why didn’t I think of asking for that?!
Little Girl Blue - Dunno the rest, but I know fo shizzle I'm Marius's Sista From Another Mista and Starfishy's Gutta Buddy and I'm wearing Bits of ZA says:
Dang! I should have gotten my mom laundry detergent for Mother’s Day!! haha. Dear old Walgreens. How I love that place. They aren’t too bright there sometimes… But they do pay me for working there! haha.
Another Walgreen’s Win. I work there too unfortunately and I wish the people in my store would recklessly put our sale adds out like this because I’m pretty sure the area that I work in no one would be able to make a connection.
get your greeting cards laundered
A rose by any other name would smell as clean.
Shall I complement thee on a Mother’s day?
Thou art more laundry and all-temperature:
Rough agitations do shake the darling suds of May …
Out, damned spot! out, I say! One; two: why, then, ’tis time to do’t. Hell is murky!
But cruel are the times, when we are traitors
And do not wash the socks
Let Thisby have clean linen.
*squints at Ghost*
You look…different…today.
*snicker*
I washed my quilt in hot and this is what happened!
But softener! what whites through yonder stains have bleached?
Why should Tide-tania cross her All-beron?
I do but beg a little changeling boy
To be my punsman.
But softener, what laundry, through front-load window breaks.
Shake off this Downy sheet, softness’s counterfeit, and look upon softness itself!
It is with pleats, so hang it dry in the sun.
Sort them, and make incision in their hides,
That their hot wash may spin in English dryers.
There is a Tide in the undies of men.
Double, double, toil and trouble;
Spin and rinse the soapy bubbles!
Beware the Tides of starch!
The soil of this man is in his clothes.
Those that much coverlet are with Gain so fond.
O washing miserable!
With an unlabelled jacket muddy-sleeve’d,
When shalt thou see thy stainless days again
To bleach or not to bleach. That is the question.
All the world’s a stain,
And all the men and women merely washers;
They have their whites and their colors,
And one man in his time dries many pants,
His wash being seven stages.
With steam and Bounce let old wrinkles come out.
I am thy mother’s spirit;
By no uncertain terms – no wash tonight,
You’re for the day confin’d to jogging pants,
Till the foul stains done in your days of labor
Are rinsed and spun away.
But doth not the fashion sense alter? A man loves the speedo in his youth that he cannot endure in his age.
I dare not fight; but I will
wink and hold out mine iron: it is a simple one; but
what though? it will toast cheese.
(That’s the real, unchanged quote…I swear!)
Are you more starch-hard than a steam iron?
Methinks that’s a question for man… :p
That all the tears that thy poor eyes let fall
May run into that sink, and soaking in
Drown the whites and darks in sea-salt tears.
Approach the fold and cull th’ unmatched sock.
Her laundry was ever soft, Gentle, and folded, an excellent thing.
Go take up these clothes here quickly. Where’s the
cowl-staff? look, how you drumble! Carry them to
the laundress in Datchet-meat; quickly, come.
Thou shalt smell as free
As mountain winds; but then exactly do
As labeling command.
But, for their virtue only is their show,
They live unwooled, an unrespected fade;
Dye to themselves.
O let not women’s lipsticks, water-drops, Stain my man’s collar.
Is this detergent which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, lame-ass present, sensible
To feeling as to sight? Or art thou but
Detergent of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the man-oppressed brain?
Through tattered clothes small tears do appear; Robes and folded gowns hide all.
True, I say this dress;
Which is invention of an idle brain,
Begot of nothing but perv fantasy;
It is as thin of substance as the air,
And more translucent than the wind, it props
Even now the massive bosom at her North
And, being flimsy, puffs away from thence
The detergent hath bubbles, as the water has,
And these are of them. Whither are the stains vanish’d?
Re the pre text re rapping the knuckles of the knuckle-headed haterz …
O, how are they wrapp’d in with infamies
That from their own misdeeds askance their eyes!
The pre text don’t wrap, fo’sh!tzzle.
Friends, fullers, countrymen,
Lend me your quarters.
I come to scrub Caesar, not to rinse him.
The skid marks that men do live after the wash;
The bleach is oft diverted in the load.
(not sure I can compete with Willie’s Ghost there)
Question me no more; we are espied;
Here comes a parcel of our hopeful booty.
Heh-heh, you said “booty”…
combo breaker?
I hate Shakespeare!
Don’t hate the (poor) players (upon the stage), hate the game…
My only love sprung from his only hate!
…he is far gone, far gone: and truly in my youth I suffered much extremity for love; very near this. I’ll speak to him again.
Fo’schichle, bisnichle! Whaaaat???!!!!
Cry gangsta and loose y’all Doggs.
Two bangers, tryn’ta be O.G.,
Out in the hood, where we lay our scene,
‘pon ancient sidewalks fall and skin the knee,
Where civil blood makes baggy pants unclean.
hey mom, i got you some detergent…. and by the way im getting kinda hungry, i think i could take a couple sandwiches…
i dont see anything wrong with the picture
Clearly you do not get the message. Below the image, it even says it: “Happy Mother’s Day Mom, now do my laundry.”
At the low price of 3.49!!
Hey, there is nothing wrong with this picture. Remember, mothers are women therefore you should give them cleaning and/or kitchen supplies.
Seriously, what is wrong with this photo? Can someone tell me!??
I think the problem is that they’re saying moms do the laundry? Not sure though.
Here it’s celebrated May 10th…
Maybe it’s that?
possibly its submitted by a british user as mother’s day here is the usually in march and therefore they woulda thought the date was wrong?
np
nahh our mothers day here in britain is in march
thats what i said, downer
Putting the sign on laundry detergent. Not exactly a thoughtful gift. ;D (I will admit, it did take me a minute to sort out)
XGELLENT!
Why do we need a Mother’s Day? Does that mean you are supposed to be not nice to her the other 364 days?
Ha. 41 loads.
dude! it says 2X, not XXX!
And, it says “mountain”.
all i see is a win here, what fail?
Its a win
This is a DOUBLE WIN!
Generic brand detergent from DOLLAR Store for mother’s day. You get clean laundary for $3.49 on Mother’s day. I see no fail.
Actually, this is Walgreens Fail, not Dollar Store fail. Totally Different.
o.O in germany motherday is on 9 may so i dont think it is a fail^^ failblog fails
The suggestion of laundry detergent as a Mothers Day gift is awash in fail.
Or a washing machine-er wit.
That doesn’t work so well….
D.M. needs a 9th of May tag repair.
Awww, my kids never give me laundry detergent for Mothers Day.
I feel cheated.
I feel your pain. Perhaps our unborn (or existing?) grandchildren will be more considerate.
This is obviously a Win.
Obviously they’ve put this here for a reason! This Defiantly is a WIN!
None shall pass!
Nikhil obstat!
“This Defiantly is a WIN!”
Your spelling of “definitely,” however, is not.
It’s the Mother’s Day of Invention.
Excellent it really fascinates me
That’s a weak fail/win…
ohhhhhh I see! It says Mother’s day is may 9th not Mother’s day is ON may 9th! In that case FAIL
isn’t mothers day 21st ?
I keep seeing all these comments about the date being wrong and crap like that. Duh.. It’s simply that you don’t give your mother laundry detergent for mothers day! Nor should looking at laundry soap make you think of your mother! now Im off to my moms to do laundry
You darmah bum!
people say that cause its diferent dates around the world like here in ireland mothersday was march
More like an epic WIN!
I’m not sexist. Really, I’m not.
Ah walgreens, a never ending source of FAIL!
well, in holland it’s not really a fail. it’s today mother’s day, but it depends on the country where this picture is taken.
I remember an advertisement for a pet shop in a Dutch newspaper many years ago, which stated the following: “Now for mother’s day: 20 per cent discount on all cages”.
Ya know, I clicked here wondering whether or not this post would be full of jerks proclaiming this sign a win. No surprises here. Oooh, I wonder if anyone will make one of those hilarious women making sandwich jokes! Surely, that would be LOL-worthy!
Agreed.
Jackasses. I feel sorry for their mothers.
Living up to our name, I see.
I see a clear win here
For Mother’s Day this year I got a stomach bug and a migraine. So in comparison, I think I would have rather gotten laundry detergent.
word to you, mother
And here’s hoping you wash that pain right out of your head.
Hell hath no fury like the mama that receives laundry detergent for Mother’s Day!
On a happy note, happy Mother’s Day to all of the wonderful Moms, Mums, Mommies, MaMas, and Mothers. I hope your day was blessed. (whichever date it happened to be on ;-])
The post gave me a chuckle, but I was certainly thankful I did not have to do clothes on Mother’s day
Why didn’t I think of asking for that?!
The sign is a win, its placement is a fail.
Nothing wrong with that, your blog fails. failure. The term FAIL fails.
I don’t think you could’ve been any more right about that.
Novercaphobia – fear of your step-mother.
And, just for fun:
Pentheraphobia or Novercaphobia – fear of mother-in-law.
I wouldn’t say Mother’s Day fail, but rather Mother’s Day Win
Dang! I should have gotten my mom laundry detergent for Mother’s Day!! haha. Dear old Walgreens. How I love that place. They aren’t too bright there sometimes… But they do pay me for working there!
haha.
Wait.. where’s the joke? Wasn’t mother’s day on 9th? o.O
Don’t Forget!
…cause not all mothers deserve flowers or candies
Walgreens fail… Sad to say I work at a store. We at least watch out where we put things.
I’m in the bathroom.
Another Walgreen’s Win. I work there too unfortunately and I wish the people in my store would recklessly put our sale adds out like this because I’m pretty sure the area that I work in no one would be able to make a connection.
this is a win. not a fail
Mom made me buy detergent AND do the laundry because I forgot.
Walgreens always has weird signs up throughout there store.
Definite win. But 50% off dish washing detergent with purchase of laundry detergent would have been ultra win.
this should be a WIN
Have no sens:))..mother day with detergent:))..and mother day is in 9 may=))oh my good
Ha ha ha ha! That’s at Walgreens! How horrible! Now I feel like a dumbass working there.
it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(runs to hallmart)
thats walgreens for you. i’d recognize those damn ad tags anywhere