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Excess baggage…
It’s an IED!
(Improvised Evening Date)
I thought it was a weapon of ass destruction.
I can’t believe I said that. To the naughty barn I go.
I’m pretty sure it’s an ICBM
Illegal Colon Busting Mechanism
WTF!
Wrong Turn Friend!
Something like this might be hard for us to swallow
I bet, I wouldn’t try
Maybe it’s a (Tom) Cruise missle?
lolz, good ol Galileo
Are you actually saying someone can leave WITHOUT this?
Apparantly this happens over 200 times a day! (At least that’s what she said in German)
Maybe it’s some kinda scissors.
Oh. Oh dear. Oh my. Oh darn.
This seems to be an X-Rating detector.
Good guess NS.
It defiantly involves a lot of Ohs.
Maybe even some “oohs.”
She forgot “Oh My God, Yes! Yes! Yeeeeeeeeeeees!!! Oh! Oh! Oh! Ooooooooooh!!!!”
Just sayin’.
They allow Herbal Essences shampoo on planes now?
No, the in-flight movie was “When Harry Met Sally”.
The return flight featured “What About Bob?”
Where I met Buzzzzzzzzz Aldrin.
I’m going to have to go with Pilot error on this one.
♪ Oh, oh, oh, it’s magic. . . ♪
Guess I will have to go check his c0ckpit.
Make sure the autopilot is engaged.
I will do better than that, I will make sure he is married.
Hope we’ve got plenty of thrust.
That autopilot is dodgy. He spends the whole time plotting a route.
She’s “screwed”.
Not yet.
She can’t wait to get to the hotel room.
Do they charge extra for overhead bags?
They’ll be some tee-heeing if that things falls out.
(Sometimes I things too much.)
♪ Things for the memories. ♪
I think things are just fine.
♪ These are some of my favorite things. . . ♪
♪You better things ’bout what you’re tryin’ to do to me…♪
I thing I just saw a long-absent peep!
*squeeezes katy*
Katy Potate-y! How’s every little think?
*squeeze!*
Things for the squeezes! I’ve been lurking for a while. *squeezes to all fb buddies*
I thing, but dare not speak?
*Squeeze*
Welcome back!
I thing you were very much missed in these parts, katy!
k-k-k-katy!
I find it almost funny how you posted that message, then half an hour later, corrected your mistake… HALF AN HOUR?
He was tired of waiting for you.
I went a good hour yesterday without realizing I had misspelled my FB2 status. *shrugs* It happens.
You weren’t the only one who misspelled it!
At least you were forthright in admitting it, Ms B!
Yup. Congratulations, you know how to tell time.
…and some journalists are too stupid to notice that.
actually this show is the worst one of all in german tv. its not even popular science, it jsut sucks. dont think, that there are pro journalists at work…
maybe you’re not a member of the proper target group? “pro sieben” is just awful.
isnt this what i expressed?
Please point to the udder from which you expressed.
*starts to draw*
And here I thought you said you couldn’t draw?
*shows Mer a drawing of a square*
You really think I am a good artist?
*squints*
*tilts head*
Looks like a trapezoid?
*squints eyes*
*doesn’t say whose*
Well I’ll be darnell jackson!!! I didn’t even know I was capable of drawing a trapezoid!
Nice trapezoid Darnell.
*rotates the drawing, trying to figure out what it suppose to be*
I think everyone can draw it is just that not everybody is satisfied with what they can draw.
Why do you think they didn’t notice? Europeans just don’t censor everything.
Every relationship has its own baggage.
Yes, Leila, they scanned your bags and found Bob. You should have left it in your luggage, not your carry-on.
That wasn’t her bag.
We all know from Gracie’s avatar that she likes a little turbulence.
Do you really think they don’t scan the luggage backstage?
Who left the jump-to-conclusion mat laying out here where someone could get hurt?
Arthur, of course.
Bob the bottle opener?
BOBBY!!!!!
Carry On Baggage.
♪ Carry on my wayward son.
There’ll be peace when you are done.
Lay your weary head to rest.
Don’t you fly no more. . . ♪
I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore…
*Hides*
*ptui!*
Darn dust. Too windy out here.
Ooh, I LOVE your shoes.
I agree, they’re tototally awesome.
No!
This is not your father’s way of humping bags.
Heck, you gotta do *something* during those long flights…
…join the mile-high club?
…like use your mile-high club.
…with complimentary nuts.
In-flight entertainment?
Guaranteed to bring the flight to a climax.
Just make sure to bring it to an upright position for landing.
If the gear gets stuck, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
You’ll just have to keep the flap down and stall your landing.
Remember to keep a firm grip on your stick as well.
In case of an emergency, assume the crash position and put your head between knees.
Warning:
If you’re going to fly solo, you should have experience with handling a dead stick. Practice with an qualified instructor first.
*puts a copy of Fear of Flying by Erica Jong in all the seat pockets*
*removes copy of The World According to Garp*
*hands it to ZA*
So we’re just gonna Wing it?
Isadora Wing. Anyone? Has this flight been terminated?
… and your baggage under the seat.
Avoid excessive G forces. This isn’t a stunt plane!
Erm…WHOSE knees?
The B’s knees!
*Snickers*
Eeep! What do you need my knees for?
My aunt thinks I’m her favourite knees.
Looks like she wanted to join the mile high club by herself.
JINX!
*taps foot and whistles a tune*
Sheesh people, give the echinoderm a break.
Starfish, Starfish, Starfish.
Thanks Scott!!!
I typed it three times and three times Bloggy ate it Starfishy. I am sorry.
The funny part of this fail is that this actually happened to one of the women in our group when we went on the cruise a few years ago. She wasn’t the least bit embarrassed about it.
A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!
Good for her!
There’s far too much ridiculous Puritan prudery in this country.
Are you suggesting we’re too upright and stiff?
Perhaps we are being too hard on her.
Yeah…teenage boys NEVER think about such things. :p
It’s sometimes hard to remain so rigid all the time.
BF got me all
stiff!!!
No, just that some people can’t find anyone that is upright and stiff enough
“Ach! ‘Tis no more than what God gave me, you puritan pukes!”
They’re not necessarily only for people who can’t get it elsewhere. Sometimes couples use them too. Why should that be embarrassing?
But my guess is she probably was quite embarrassed, just trying not to show it.
When my dad lived in San Francisco, something like that happened in a line to get to a cash register. A woman was going through her purse to get her money, and pulled a huge black ‘Bob’ out, among other things. She acted as if she didn’t even notice it.
My friend went on a flight a few years ago with her Ben wa balls in…BEEP! went the metal detector. She was too happy to think about metal vs. security screening. Luckily it was before 9/11 so she just had an embarassment, not a literal embarassment via strip search.
It seems to have a cord too. Passengers may now use portable electronic devices?
Only during take-off and landing.
Potable electronic devices?
Oh, never mind.
B.O.B FTW!
Bob did what to the Wookie?!
*habitually checks hair*
*looks at the back of Ms B head*
OMG!!!
Oh, no … never mind. False alarm. Sorry.
Hgrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Let the wookie win in the end.
Hell Yeah ‘Galileo’!The 60 seconds about ‘What you should know about security checks at the airport’ seen on Prosieben, Germany!
What’s that mysterious buzzing noise coming from seat 14B?
The passenger in that seat doesn’t seem to be disturbed — she actually looks quite happy.
Too happy, if you ask me. These seats are terrible!
Spare the rod, spoil the ride?
Captain Speaking: “Looks like we will have to keep circling at our destination, the landing strip seems to be occupied.”
pretty sure that’s a win.
Haha galileo did this py purpose, for attracting more viewers^^
Aw, nuts.
I’m pretty sure it happens all day long.
Since she’s already getting screwed for the cost of the ticket…
So that’s what they mean by express air male service.
I pay as long as they deliver on time.
I look for consistent, frequent delivery.
As long as it give you good vibes, right?
♪ Good, good, good,
Good Vibrations! ♫
No. It’s a pickle.
No, sillies. It’s a care package.
Surprise!
My un-birthday!!!???!!! Where is the chocolate cake???
*looks for cake*
*salivates*
Hey! It’s my un-birthday too!! Does that mean we get double the cake and ice cream?
I thought ZA was the only one with an un-birthday here.
Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
*tacklePouncesBro and sits on him*
*waits for un-birthday cake*
Ms B, you can have one too.
You two certainly can have your cake, but you can’t eat it.
*Steals the cake*
*eats the cake*
*looks at herself in the mirror*
*cries*
stupid cake, always goes straight to my thighs
awwws
*bites Mer’s thigh*
I prefer to start at the toes and work my way up
If you haven’t turned, you’re not supposed to do that.
If you have turned, you’re not supposed to do that.
Damn, now I’m not sure how good these old teeth are, did I just gum you or what?
Failpeeps are not food.
If she isn’t turned then why is she not suppose to do that?
*Checks ZA’s dentures*
“Looks like you just gummed me”
I like when “things” go up, then I change direction and go down.
Time for me to go…
*hugs n luvs n gropes*
*smooches*
Does it matter? At the excitement happens in the middle.
Nah, the real excitement happens up in ZA’s favorite food.
Truer words were never spoken.
*squeeeeeze!*
You can’t beat good cortical stimulation.
♫ A very merry un-birthday to you. To you. ♫
*pours nightshayde some tea*
Wheeeeeeeee!!!!
*noms on cake*
Don’t have any more nightmares about me NS. Hehe!!
Twinkle, twinkle little bat,
how I wonder what you’re at….
Yay, Alice!
Yay, Tea!
Yay, Ms B ♥
So happy it makes you grin, little kitteh?
*looks in teapot*
EEEEEK! A mouse!
the real fail is that no one noticed it’s actually a bomb because everyone thought it was a sex toy.
this isnt a fail. prude americans…
agreed.
Here it’s not so much that American sexual attitudes are prudish, as it is that FailBlog sexual attitudes are twelvish.
Well … I’d have to say that American sexual attitudes are rather prudish. People here seem to have the idea that it’s fine for kids to watch shows with all kinds of violence (including domestic violence), but that it’s not fine for kids to see two men kissing (somehow two women kissing isn’t quite as objectionable
), or to have any sort of kinky fetish stuff going on in a show. They switched a CSI episode from the 9pm hour to the 10pm hour a few weeks ago because of the sexual content (a company was selling womens’ used panties to men who liked the scent). Why is that more objectionable than violence?
*climbs off soap box & runs away*
Oh — and that HUGE uproar a few years back about Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction.” Way too large a segment of the population was horrified that their children had seen a *gasp* nipple for a fraction of a second. “How can I explain that to my children?!!!” “Oh – teh horror!!!”
Good grief!
I, for one, never objected to the act. I objected to the absence of choice. If I do not want to watch something I turn the channel. Getting ambushed by objectionable content is wrong. Defending the act by blaming my oversensitive morals is in line with screaming fire in a crowded movie theater and saying I can’t take a joke.
I’m all for having a warning that some viewers may find content objectionable & then letting people change the channel (rather than getting ambushed) — but I really think that the idea that kids will be traumatized for life by seeing a nipple for less than a second is ridiculous.
I’d much rather let my child see strangers’ nipples than have her see people getting shot/stabbed/beaten & I find it odd that so many people in this country find sex more objectionable than they do violence.
Agreed. We are a violent life form. The need to protect the clan has been reinforced over and over throughout history. Preparing the young for conflict has always been of great importance to the community. The modern result is seen even in our everyday activities. Sex, however, has taken a wrong turn with the development of family. Promiscuity is a problem when dealing with clan hierarchy. It is even further hampering for women in a male dominated society. Throw in religion and society’s attempts to regulate inheritance (for the good of the people) and you have a lot of repression to overcome.
Plus I have serious problems with an !mage of a woman’s body being deemed “objectionable content”. I’m with nightshayde. Male nipples = *yawn*, whatever. Female nipples = “OMG WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN???”
So I will freely admit that I do have something of a problem with people who view women as being “objectionable”.
(Sorry AGAIN for the eventual double post!)
Yes, the whole “Think of the children” was defiantly the wrong argument. Choice is the point of contention with me. At some point in history the female breast became part of the sexual organ package. Whether we agree with that or not is besides the point. The majority of our society feels this way and to have their choice taken away because a minority has no problem with it goes against my grain.
P.S. I find it amusing that I have no problem with exposed breasts until my daughters enter the picture. Then everyone is a pervert.
Yes, well…it’s not unusual for me to have serious problems with the majority of society.
Antarchist!
Erm…did you just call me an “anarchist” or the “antichrist”??
*Pictures Dragon destroying ant colonies*
*Snickers*
Addendum:
Did anyone else find it funny that the song content was never brought up during this whole episode?
The twelve-year-old mentality is still inside all of us. It is just repressed and re-enforced by our social mores. The forbidden fruit, so to speak. Finding an outlet, whether with friends or, as is the case here, on an anonymous form, seems to be socially acceptable. I neither condone or condemn as I am not qualified to judge. I submit to you, is the real question: when does an outlet become a distracting obsession?
You can ask that same question about other things, too. Alcohol, for example. I know a lot of people will disagree, but personally I think that turning alcohol into “forbidden fruit” makes for a society of alcoholics who dive into drinking as early and as often as possible.
Weeeee! Fluffy gets me!
*Squeeze*
{{{Marius!}}}
Where I am we have seen a shift from a predominant Euro-cultural influence, to a strong bias towards a US influence. There are all sorts of effects of this, but one I find disturbing is the shift toward simulated or actual violence being a norm. Along with this influence, there has been a shift toward conservatism regarding sexual content or nakedness.
As a father, I find this a grotesque imbalance in our culture.
DrB! Long time no see.
*Squeeze*
This shift, while grotesque, has very deep roots. Whenever a clan perceives a threat the natural reaction is to become fierce and protective. As I stated previously, preparation for a possible conflict is very important to survival. Aggression must be encouraged and the skills needed honed.
Females are extremely important for the survival of any group, therefore, in times of stress, they must be protected, hidden, made less attractive to any possible enemies of the clan. In other words, tone down their sexuality so they will not attract rivals.
Religion is not the cause, but rather just another means of reinforcing core behavior.
Bury all this under centuries of emerging societies and no one can tell you why you find killing is okay, as long as you dress properly.
Au contraire mon frere. Europe falls right into the model. After two world wars your population was set back to 1870 levels. That coupled with an underperforming birth rate (in France especially) and you have immense pressure to procreate or become overwhelmed by other populations. By the 1950s Europe had only managed to reach pre 1814 population levels. Meanwhile, America was roaring along at just under a 2% growth rate. The only hic-up being 1918 with the influenza outbreak netting a .06% loss. This can be linked to the relaxing of morals during the roaring 20s. Even during WWII the U.S. was experiencing over 1% growth. By 1950 the Baby Boom produced a 2.05% jump. This coupled with the Red Menace contributes to the Anti-sex pro violence of the post war era.
God, I love torturing history to fit my arguments.
Err, isn’t the growth rate for the US substantially fueled by immigration? And btw, after WWII we were extremely prudish for decades. That changed in the mid to late 60s, but the first nipple in a German movie was a huge scandal. Methinks you’re indeed torturing history a bit (should I say “enhanced historic argument”?
) – I wouldn’t accept a single feature of the human character as the explanation for complex developments of and within societies.
Can not the European prudishness be the result of war and invasion? The relaxation of morals only appearing after the shock of war subsided?
As for immigration substantially fueling our population, I’ll give you some stats.
Average immigration per 1,000 current residents:
After 1914 – 2.3
20s – 3.6
War years – .4
47 -60 – 1.5
U.S. birthrates per 1,000 current residents:
1910 – 33.9
1920 – 30.95
1930 – 24.05
1940 – 22.65
1950 – 28.15
1960 – 27.4
Not as big a bump as you would have thought, no?
You have my argument backwards. Nothing is “The” explanation for human character, but, complex social development does effect the human character.
Ah, I see the problem. Low birth rate/population and fear of be overwhelmed by immigration from neighbors = high promiscuity. (Crank out those babies or lose your identity.) Fear of aggressive neighbors = prudishness. (Here they come, hide the women and pass the ammunition.).
Humans are a social animal but an animal no the less. We try to regulate our behavior with laws but in the end survival of the group reigns supreme. The shift in public morals in Germany is necessary for your survival. Unfortunately, new developments are having their effect. Economics has always played its part but the big factors are birth control and the sense of world over population. You can make your clan as sexually active as you want but how do you get them to have children when they can choose not to? Why would you have a kid if there are no jobs or farm families in need of child labor? With the pressures of immigration and low birth rate I would expect an increase in aggression coming your way.
Disclaimer:
The views stated above are overly simplistic and do not necessarily reflect the views of Failblog or its staff.
Interesting thought! Would that mean that your birth rate is actually so high that it leads to prudishness despite the (existing, or so it seems to me) fear of being overwhelmed by immigration and the non-existing aggressive neighbors? Or is someone perceived to be a real threat to the US?
I’m more used to seeing developments in history in terms of social, political – cultural processes than in psychological impulses or patterns of behaviour. That’s an interesting angle you got there, Marius!
I highly recommend reading A History of Warfare by John Keegan. It is a brilliant work.
Keegan? Mmm, okay, will do. Although his books – those I read until now – weren’t among the most convincing works. I liked his history of WWI, not so much his WWII history and “The Face of Battle” made me wonder what he was aiming at the whole time.
I agree with you on his WWII history. Have you tried Keegan’s “The Battle for History? I have found it a most valuable resource for WWII study.
“The History of Warfare” will help you to understand the point of “The Face of Battle” (One of my favorites). Have you tried his “The Book of War”?
Have you read any Liddle Hart? I am interested to know what you think of his work.
No, the books I mentioned are all that I’ve read from Feegan. I’m unsure about L. Hart – the name rings a bell, but I don’t think I own any of his books. Maybe I’m confusing him with Jonathan Lidell.
*snork*
Keegan!
*doublesnork*
And the other guy is Littell.
Freegan? Is he the guy I find going through my garbage all of the time?
Sorry, I forgot you’re German.
*Snickers*
His full name is B. H. Liddle Hart.
Only breathers have sex (rotters just nibble to procreate), but everyone performs violent acts.
prudery Fails are booooooooooooooooring!
mmm, abstinence only education. theres a real fail.
why did i see this coming a mile away?
I didn’t think the “toys” did that.
♫ A million year of evolution – we get Danny Quayle? ♫
*tosses an “s” into the song lyric*
Did I go too far with this?
*snickers*
Has one.
Do you load it with your favorite lotion? I’m thinking Vanilla Bean Nöel Lotion coming out of one would be rather amusing.
OMG!!! No…I didn’t just read this!!!! No. No. No.
*ROFLMTFO*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I loaded it with warmed up yogurt. It will not harm you if it somehow ends up inside….
*smirk*
Let me guess, warming it up kills the cultures?
TMI, TMI …
*nods to that*
*tweeks da zombies nipps*
*Snickers*
No she’s in a jam.
Now now.
*Bukkits*
*preserves post for posterity*
*Adds canned laugh track*
She got marmalade!
Why not?
I think I’ll wait to do that Google search at home. The keepers of the Great Firewall can be rather scary at times.
We’re not scary. Just terribly misunderstood.
The second bag had a small vibrator in it too, lol.
♫♪ I’m pickin’ up good vibrations
She’s giving me the excitations ♫♪
”Mom , I missed the plane” , well , I guess his mother passed here .
Friend of mine worked at a hotel. When guests left their luggage behind (and it happened more than I would think) the bags’ contents were inventoried and stored for a period of time, until they could be reclaimed.
People take a surprising variety of things with them when they travel!!
Funny. But it could be something else.
A trip around the world
♫ All around the world … same BOB. ♫
♪ Roam if you want to. Roam around the world. ♪
♫♪ been around the world and I can’t find my … ♫♪
♫♪ Bob, Bob, Bob — Bob, Bob-around ♫♪
Did he have to pay $17 to get it back at a yard sale?
He talked the guy down from $22.
I heard that song on the radio the other day, and thought of you, ZA.
Accurate caption: About half of the population doesn’t leave without theirs…
I like the other caption better.
I’m saying it’s accurate, not suggesting a change. As stated, mine would be boring indeed (I should have use a . or : instead of : )
shift fail!
; or . not :
MUNICH AIRPORT FTW XD
Off Topic… So, Rooster still hasn’t been able to get his e-mail or facebook account back. And now I’ve decided to have a little fun with the creeps who hacked him. I sent him a facebook message begging for his forgiveness over some unspecified “crime”. I want to see if I get a response. I made it sound like we hadn’t communicated in a little while for good measure.
You should tell them, that the baby is his and that you are going to get the authorities to contact his Internet Service Provider to release his address so you can send him the child support checks.
Nice!
checks/strike> billsI like “checks” better — it gives the person the idea that he/she will get a benefit from responding.
Doesn’t matter, once they see the words “baby”, “yours” and “authorities” they’ll be to panicked to know if that last word is “bills”, “checks”, “lottery” or even “zombie”.
The TV Show itself is the real FAIL!
Just saying that any woman who doesn’t have some sort of sex toy is lying. Any woman who doesn’t take one with her on a long trip is a very busy and or boring individual. And, anyone who assumes that married women don’t have them has never had the pleasure of kinky sex. Enough said.
Wow — I’m a liar and I’m a very busy and or boring individual.
I’m crushed!
Pay no attention to little B, NS.
*Squeeze*
Peoples sexual preferences are as different and varied as people themselves are, making broad statements like yours invalid.
In other words, “♪Whatever gets you through the night, is alright.♫”
Just saying that any woman who doesn’t have some sort of sex toy is
lyingmissing all her fingers.Better?
That took far too long to compute — but yes.
I’m going to pretend to be innocent and not know what that is.
Who do you think it’s going to fool?
possible terrorist?
It’s not a Passenger Luggage FAIL! It’s an Privacy FAIL!
Exactly. This could be me. So what? I like it. Got a problem with that? ^^
i think that its not more good for me. you should try it to make batter.People take a surprising variety of things with them when they travel!!
the uploader semms to be prudish
where is the fail ?
sex is a normal thing
noone care about it in germany
women are topless at the beach
and noone look at them cause we see this everyday
and you will probably come ( cumshot )
he uploader semms to be prudish
where is the fail ?
sex is a normal thing
noone care about it in germany
theres ALOT noone is fazed by in germany mate, WOOT WOOOOT!!!
LC left that.
*lix Sw’s avie*
What’s next, a dude getting made fun of for taking his left hand with him when he flies?
Didn’t anyone see Fight Club? They’re going to have to detonate that suitcase.
They have to defend themself somway..
Well i saw that on television but i didnt notice it
lol
Er no. Anyting inside would actually show up as an anomaly.
That’s the point of an x-ray.