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I am going to show you my next trick.
*goes out in a puff of smoke*
Did he DIE?
Did the car die?
What IS this and why does it keep getting posted?
Anyone?
Anyone?
What do you people get by spending your life’s hours posting rantically all day on this blog?!
Anyone?
Anyone?
(lower case anyone)
p.s. I’ll never grow TIRED of this fail
What’s different about this FAIL is that in the end someone rushes and sees if the victim is okay. This is a very rare fail, but still a fail nonetheless.
First, I was speaking about RoyeE’s post.
Second, there is no such word as “rantically.”
Safety, the “pre” command is HTML coding, not lower case.
P.S. That was a really lame pun.
should be “frantically?”
i meant frantically
and all great puns belong to us
I like the way he tries to act all casual afterwards like he’s OK and nothing happened.
That’s how he
s!
Hahah yeah!
“Ok anyway *yawns* you guys want to hit up the diner? I’m *SO* in the mood for chicken fingers + honey mustard”
Where did all these funny pics next 2 our names come from?
Yes, that´s why he was standig up after the “incident”…
No didnt u see he was fine
you’re fat
You misspelled “phat.”
*looks in mirror*
*♥ what she sees*
*♥ what he sees*
*squeeze*
*looks at Fail Friends*
*♥ what she sees*
*squeeze*
*looks at failfriends*
*looks at desk*
*looks at failfriends*
*♥ his lunch hour*
*squeeze*
Oh, what are we having?
*squeeze!*
*squeezes the squeezers*
*makes an I ♥ ME t-shirt*
*draws N onto Leila’s T-shirt with a Sharpie*
*doesn’t say where*
“IN ♥ ME”?
No, Judy. It clearly says, “NI ♥ ME.”
Makes ‘In Leila we trust’ T-shirt.
Ah! I see, that makes so much more sense!
*thrusts “h” into Jules’ mumbledymumbledy*
*click!*
I feel so… violated!!
If this is the same as *poke* I demand to be paid.
Heeeee!!!!
*ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-ip!*
Here, Leila, have Jules’ Nerf balls.
*winces*
Sure, but wouldn’t Mrs Jules ♂ ♪ with Nerf balls mind?
No, I have plenty to go around. I will hardly even miss that one.
Are you going to grind them?
With 5 people, I think it qualifies as an orgy? But I will have to check the rule book.
A squeeze orgy?
*starts squeezing*
*doesn’t say where*
*♥ all the orgy squeezers*
*cops a feel*
*doesn’t say who*
*uses an object to tickle everyone*
*doesn’t say what*
*makes note to ask Avis if she is missing a feather*
*looks at wings*
Nope, all there.
*looks at tail feathers*
Nope, all there.
I don’t think he used a feather!
I don’t even want to know…
*flees*
*gives everyone a thorough Squeeze*
*squeezes the failpeeps*
Family that fails together stays together.
*♥ to see a squeeze*
*squeeze*
*scoops-up Gracie*
*bops her on the head*
*♥ her hard*
*tacklePouncesGracie&LGB*
*jumps in the ♥ fest*
*sets up camera*
*clicks*
No, please continue. Don’t mind me.
Oh, yes — it’s the “lesbian orgy dream” you men have, right?
Actually it’s the “get right quick by selling naughty videos” dream we men have.
Oh, go ahead — ACCUTALLY for all it’s worth!
*looks left and right*
*sees no axes, whales or clubs*
*safety*
*ducks*
Phew, let’s hope it’s gone now
Actually, we could patent the ACCUTALLY™, and use it as a sort of artifact here. ~It would be a fitting homage to such a dynamic former poster~…
*snoffles*
Can’t we just forget said poster sis?
~I really don’t know if that’s possible, sweetie.~
Please don’t. It hurts my brain.
*stares vacantly*
*rocks back and forth*
*facepalm*
shes so fat some wonder if she did died
Ohhhhh, I get it. You weren’t first again. Even though you tried really, really hard this time, and you just KNEW you were going to get it. Betcha you broke a sweat and got worked-up only to have your hopes dashed…
~I like him, I hope he stays.~
~FB wouldn’t be the same without him/it/her.~
~He/she is so witty and fun to be around.~
~If I were a man, I would have sex with him.~
~He/she should procreate.~
~Like that lady who keeps popping/pooping a baby every so many months.~
~I could see that.~
You’re not first and you’re angry about it, so you thought that was a good way of trolling her.
*feels dirty*
*goes to shower*
Sounds fun.
Can I come?
Ummm…
Now, don’t you feel dirty.
Very.
You are one naughty googie.
I live in a van down by the gutter.
*snicker*
*makes donuts in BMW*
*someone falls out*
*doesn’t say who*
*parks next to Jules’ van*
Gutter party!!!
*whips out the BBQ*
*starts to work on some breasts, legs and thighs*
Whose breasts?
Whose legs?
Whose thighs?
I noticed he didn’t tell us that!!!
Which is why I am now demanding an answer.
*makes popcorn*
*munches as she waits for Jules*
Yes!
*gets in back of van with Jules*
Why is there a bed and a disco ball in here?
*snaps picture*
*sells to highest bidder*
*doesn’t say who*
*gets thumb drive*
*downloads photos*
*emails to DW Shop*
*hacks into DW shop*
*adds pixels*
*doesn’t say where*
Shopped!!
Hey, carib? While you’re there, can you please make my butt look smaller?
Me too also!!! Take out some of the butt and insert in the boobs. Thank you!!!!!!!!!
You need some where to dance when you are by the gutter.
That explains the disco ball but not the- …. OOoooOOOHHhh!
You should move into the luxury condo building by the gutter that we bought with Marius’ credit card!
But then my poor van would be lonely. We have a long history.
*laughs hard at the funny joke*
What is a good year?
1972
Meh — I thought ’67 was much better.
Is that when my sis came to be??????
Yup. [Best British Accent]I’m fawty-two.[/Best British Accent]
Sent you note.
You are now forever at my mercy. 
Bah, the real answer is ’69! I was a year old, man stepped foot on the moon and there’s that whole innuendo thing with it.
…Bryan Adams got his first real six-string.
ROFL!!! It was summer time if I remember correctly. Before that he just had a fake one.
Back then you could get ‘em at the five and dime for cryin’ out loud.
If you play until your fingers bleed, it’s probably best to let them properly heal before you practice again.
no… it’sokay… i’m cool. yeah… i meant that.
I think his seatbelt is defective or maybe just his thinking process. Hard to tell from video.
I blame Toyota for the faulty seatbelt.
*sues Toyota for faulty seatbelt in BMW*
Now what would that mean for Audi?
Does this mean…*GASP!!!* it’s a BMW FAIL?????
*universe implodes*
Whose turn is it to clean up?
*touches paw to nose*
Not it!
*volunteers Jules to clean up*
*squeeze*
*flees*
I must say the person who powered the fail is a bit … controversial…
The ‘Cs’ gives me an indication of why you would say that but I don’t recall the real reason.
He’s one of the people that led me to make Spam Cookies™ that fateful day…
Most likely he was wearing one of those new invisi-belts. They are so light and comfortable it’s like you’re not wearing one at all! From the makers of Sham-Wow!!
I was thinking more like Mighty Mend-it™.
*stares @ the buttacow*
*won’t tell her why*
*butterysqueezes*
*Graciesqueezies*
He got hit with his own rubber… Talent.
I soooo do not see a condom anywhere in this fail…
If you did, where would the surprize be?
In my Cracker Jack™ box?
♫ Candy-coated popcorn, peanuts and a prize! ♫
*throws an unused condom at LGB*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
*takes unused (thank God) condom*
*blows up into balloon*
*bats around blog*
Hey! Who let in these bats?
*ducks to avoid bats*
Watch out for that…. !! Too late…
I hate it when that happens.
*goes to plan B*
*puts a lot of ♥ in Jules’ comment*
I think he was just along for the ride. Driver was on the right-hand side.
♪ Burn out the day
Burn out the night
I can’t see no reason to put up a fight ♫
as if people will actually know what BoC is…
Bring Our Coke?
Bake Our Cake?
Butt Oh Cow?
Butter on corn?
Burn Out Crash?
Bring Out Cowbell!
Boring Old Cows?
Better Off Chained?
Buzz Off Cretin?
Believe Only Crackpots
Beware of Co-worker!
Back On Crack?
Brian O’ Connor?
Butt on Corn?
Braaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiinnnnnzzzzzzzz On Cenotaph.
Build Other Clichés?
Bring out Cat!
Bruise Only Crayons?
Burns on contact?
Buys Odd Crap?
Barium Over Cornflakes?
“Barium over cornflakes”???
*barfs over comment*
Beats Off C0ck?
LMAO @ “corn flacks”!!!!
Some of us can’t afford those “fancy” flakes.
*snoffles*
*gives Jules 1,000 internets to buy expensive cereal*
Bring out cavemen.
Bury Our Corpses.
Though if you’re eating Barium Over Cornflakes, I’m not sure burying will do much good.
Buy our Chilli.
Busted Old Chevy?
Big ol’ cowpies?
Begin Overtly Chugging?
Buildup of concern?
Bricks of Cheese?
Billions of Calliopes.
Burned out Castle?
Buildings of concrete?
Belatedly offer chimichangas?
Balls On Chocolate.
Blood on container?
Brave Outrageous Chimps.
Brains of chickens?
Buckles on Coats?
Buckets of centipedes?
Balls of Cheddar?
Bury our Corpses?
Bell of cheezewhiz.
Brie on Crackers?
Banal old curmudgeon.
Buzz off, churl!
Bouquets of C0cks!
Beautify our courtyard?
*BOOM* … Our Children!
Beetle or cricket?
Buy Only Centapedes?
More cowbell!!!
♪ Never, ever had a lover
Who put the peddle to the metal and
Burn rubber on me, Charlie
Oh, no ♫
♫ Ooh, the wheel hit my thigh keeps on burnin’ ♫
Obviously holding onto the door handle is the wrong thing to do in such a situation.
Yes, well. Hindsight is always 20/20.
And objects in the rear view mirror are closer than they appear.
So… this wouldn’t be a BMW win then, would it?
No…but he seems to have the a$$ part down…
Arthur may very well explode when he sees this fail…..
When I saw the car, coupled with the nearby overpass, I really got my hopes up…
Arthur going to need a sham-wow?
I know, me too! But this was sooooo much better! I didn’t expect what happened to happen!
What happened?
Video not working for you?
Yes it does.
I was just being ornery.
~Not our Leila!~
What? ~I am a good girl.~ Really, ask anyone.
*Puts hand in air*
OOH! Pick me!
Ok. Ok. Qwaz … tell them what a good girl I am.
*slips Qwaz an undisclosed amount of internetz*
~She is a good girl.~
*Runs away*
*tries to retrieve internetz*
I’d call this a survival win. A lesser (more intelligent) person would not have survived this.
Survival of the fittest?
More like survival of the thickest.
So girth matters?
Yes in this case.
*looks @ Jules suspiciously*
*hides package*
If that’s the one UPS dropped off it’s mine!!!
*grabs package from Jules*
I would have given it to you if you asked…
Order a new Bob?
What?
What is this bob you speak of?
*goes to open package*
*inspects package*
*feels vibration*
Better be careful, sweetie! Whatever’s in there is alive. I’ll just take this with me to keep you safe…
*tucks package under arm*
*skipsawaywithaquickness*
GAH!! Even internet sisters take stuff from me.
*goes to amazon dot come*
*places another order*
Oh, yes. Definitely.
♪ Another one bites the dust. ♪
♪Because he is the champion of the world.♪
♫The one who likes fat bottomed girls?♫♪
Rather odd use of Body Language.
He only wanted to Break Free.
Another One Bites the Dust.
Because he is the champion of the world.
The one who likes fat bottomed girls?
We make the rockin’ world go ’round!
*rhapsody*
Let’s keep this going! Don’t stop me now!
Geez! Sorry, Leila!
He’s fallen out of love with his car.
It’s a kind of magic, isn’t it?
I can’t keep up with all of you! I think I’m Going Slightly Mad.
Mad? I’m Stone Cold Crazy!
*cli—*
*looks at front of camera*
Flash!, aaaaahhhhh.
PWN3D!!!
y3s
yay!
w4y!
First of all…WHY THE HELL would you try that with your door open. Secondly, make sure your not giving it gas when you take off the brake…like this guy…
The scary part is noticing that it wasn’t the driver who fell out of the car. Watch closely, there is someone else in the drivers seat. It’s obvious when the car comes to a stop and the heads (plural) in the car do not.
Good call, ZA!
Looks too close up to be in the front seat, though.
Backseat Passenger, methinks.
And besides, that’s a Right-Hand drive car. (Fail is from the UK?)
The guy behind the camera sounds English, too.
Driver: “I bet you a dollar you couldn’t hold on through a turn”
Dumb@$$: “Dude thats so easy to do”
No, the UK isn’t the only country that drives on the left, and the scenery doesn’t look like the UK and the weather is too warm. It’s Australian or South African, from the registration plate (British registration plates are yellow on the back).
New method of dealing with back seat drivers?
I like it.
“I’ll let you out at the next turn.”
Was he a passenger or the driver? I don’t see a steering wheel where he was sitting? I ask ’cause I only thought Americans did this dumb shit! These guys are Brits!
Learn some Geography and don’t assume it’s Britons because it’s right hand drive. 40% of the world sit in right hand drive cars. It’s Australian or South African, more likely South African, as the landscape doesn’t look British, weather is too hot and British cars don’t have white rear registration plates.
We get it. Relax. There are lots of folks who don’t read the comments, so they end up repeating what others have already said. It used to bother me, it still does, but now I just lettitgo. Because otherwise, I might explode.
^Defensive driver.
ACK!!!
*relieves nightmare of taking 6 hours of defenisive driving*
*goes in the corner to rock like a baby*
*sticks head out to agree with DW*
*goes back to corner*
*comfortsqueeeze*
*thanksyousqueezies*
Did you do anything special for your birthday IRL?
The best defense is offensive.
Oops I see someone else just made the same observation!
These kinds of donuts are better for your waistline.
But the road rash is not.
But not for your underwear.
I’m not too fond of donuts that have the same toppings as my pizza.
*snork* This why you should make your own!
:[ People I work with consume so many donuts that my arteries clog vicariously. If you don’t see me post for a few days it will be because I had a massive coronary attack. I watch this lady scarf down two of them within minutes. These are not little donuts nor donut holes.
Donuts make my teeth hurt.
Funny… teeth make my nuts hurt.
Stop chewing on them then!
I swear what is it with male dogs and constantly licking and gnawing at their nonos. Annoying!!!!!
Well, don’t just stand there. ‘splain!!!
*offers Leila some nuts*
*munches on nuts*
What? They’re protein.
Good old fashion vegan protein.
*offers edamame*
OMG!!! My faves!!!!
*nom! Nom!!! NOM!!!! NOMMMM!!!!!!*
edammmmmmame *drools*
Ummm.. Well you see, I was on my way home from school when aliens came down and did it! It wasn’t me, it was the one armed man! My dog ate it! It’s because of sunspots. I wasn’t even there at the time. It was Arthur! My watch stopped. I got a flat on the way. My alarm didn’t go off. It was the cat! I forgot it in my other pants. The checks in the mail.
I don’t believe a word you are saying but you are irresistibly cute sooooo…
*flips GS on back*
*scratches belly*
*kicks left leg in time with scratches*
*Observes scene*
She’s… scratching you to the beat of Funky Town?
Well,
Iyou talk about it,Talk about it,
Talk about it,
Talk about it…
I don’t do stupid things with my car (too expensive) but maybe the door wasn’t supposed to be open?
I am curious. What kind of car do you drive?
A bit late due to napping but honda accord, and no the door does not open on its own.
That was a donut not a burnout.. title fail!
Why is it that you can sit in your cubicle undisturbed for hours upon end, and the minute you fart, the CEO decides he needs to come over and talk to you? You try to concentrate on his question, but all you can think about is that fart.
Sorry guys.
*can’t stop giggling over this*
*snorkles*
*tries to stay quiet*
*fails miserably*
Starfishy’s story gotta be the best LOL of the day. Thanks for the laughter Starfish. *squeeze*
OMG!
Starfish!!?? In your cubicle?
*passes out from giggling*
*still giggling*
You should always go to someone elses cubicle for that. When they aren’t there of course.
Or as you are about to walk away.
I recommend Starfish to foofoo in the presence of the cubicle habitant. Makes it more interesting.
Co-worker: Hey SF, how are you? What can I do for you?
SF: I’m fine. Don’t mind me, I just wanted to be close to you for a sec.
Co-worker: Okay…. *moves hand to mace in purse*
SF: *foofoos* You smell something?
Co-worker: oh wow! Not again!!!
SF: Oh, hey boss! Kthxbye
ROFL!!!
*sprays office with Febreeze*
I usually get up and do a lap around the office cropdusting along the way, but I’ve been too busy to get up. I learned my lesson this time.
You are too funny Starfish!! I would *squeeze* you but I am afraid of what would happen if I do.
LOLZ @ “cropdusting”
It helps them stay nice and green.
(What? It’s good for crops, ~so it must be good for people too~)
Some people “cropdust” up a right storm in our common room @ school. We used to have an air freshener with “Boost Button” for such occasions, but it’s been nicked
My ex used to “cropdust” all the time, especially when we were shopping. We’d be in an aisle and all of a sudden he’d say ‘let’s go to the next aisle’. Eventually the trail would catch up to us… :ick:
Please tell me it was accidental. Lie to me if you have to.
~Sure, it was purely accidental…~
As long as you don’t pull his finger…
Hey!!! Bloggy ate my comment!!
*shakes fist at computer*
Maybe if you bought an ~I ♥ Bloggy~ t-shirt from Leila it wouldn’t happen, Avis…
Did someone say my name?
Avis prefers her name unadulterated.
Besides, have you ever seen a bird in a t-shirt?
I saw one in a tux! Does that count?
*moves Avis to Hollywood*
*buys an itty bitty t-shirt*
*puts it on Avis*
Yes?
It’s almost an hour later, and I’m still giggling inside when I think of “cropdusting”!!
It’s hella funny still. I am thankful he didn’t say “crapdusting”.
Dusting crops where there ain’t no crops.
“Traveling through hyperspace ain’t like dusting crops, boy.”
True Story: After he ate lunch every day, my former (and very dear) boss would go back to his office, turn on a small electric desktop fan, lean back in his chair, and fart up a storm. Everyone pretty much knew not to go in there and ask him a question until after about an hour had gone by…
*takes note*
How not to be disturbed for 1 hour.
He wasn’t watching his diet was he?
I can’t decide which I loathe most: when people burp/belch or when they fart. I would laugh at an accidental foofoo but belching???
After reading all this, I can’t help but think of the Farting Evangulist on youtube.
*clicky*
*snoffles*
Ewwwwww!
Good ol’ Robert Tilton…reminds be of Ron White…clickie!!
LOLZ — hilarious, Suzie! Thanks!
*will never think of Cheetos™ the same way again*
He cracks me up!
Why “Hey, watch this!” is something you should never say in any situation.
In any situation? So we can’t open the extensive pics library at DW Shop and say “Hey, watch this!”?
Ok im really starting to get annoyed with your fail booking ads. If I really cares, I would go to site myself.
If I really cares, I would tell you about the most effective way to contact FB but I don’t really cares.
“Better to burnout than to fade away”
Hey hey, my my
Out of the car
and onto the black (top).
Centripedal force.
Centrifugical force?
Cariolis force.
Delta force.
Jedi force.
I hope the car isn’t hurt!
It died!
…
…
…
It’s the latest James Bond ejector seat.
“You couldn’t come and sit up here in the front, could you? It’s a nice seat here… I like the company.”
“I don’t theenk so, Meester Bond.”
“Where exactly are you from, anyway?”
Adds a whole new meaning to ‘turning tricks’.
Technology sucks!
*quits walking the streets*
But… I’ve made all these gadgets just for you!
Sure, some are rather improbable, but you always end up needing them anyway!
That’s like me playing GTA4.
The same thing happens when people try to jack my Passat. Except then it backs over them.
*puts mitts on Passat*
:p
Okay missy, this means war!
JK, you can put your mitts on my Passat anytime you want to……
*puts mitts on Passat & the Mushy*
*puts mitts on and pats Mushy*
♫Lay your hands on meh,
Lay your hands on meh,
Lay your hands one meehhhhhh♫
Ahh, how jovial.
Aw, mush — you’re such a bon vivant…
*puts mitts on and makes a Pass at Mushy*
*passes Mushy some mitts*
*mixes-up mitts and puts on Jon*
Ummm, if you’re quite done wearing me…
*waves mitts*
*takes off Jon*
You were fitting just a bit snug here…
*motions*
You know what pisses me off? I make it a point to park far, far, far away from entrances of grocery stores, malls … well, pretty much everywhere I go. All this because I really ♥ my car. When I find my spot, I park to where not one else can park on the one side and on the other, park as far away possible from the line. 7 times outta 10, I will find some jackass parked next to mine. Not only that, the tires are right on the line. Just one question. Why?
He’s trying to set his car up with some “Hawt [insertcarbrandhere] chix”?
F!rst, I am a mom and my hawtness faded away already. Secondly, I don’t believe I am hawt but I hate it when anyone oogles. It’s just down right rude.
*ThanksForTryingToMakeMeFeelBetterSqueeze*
*walksawayquickly*
*oogles Leila from behind the bushes*
*checks for cameras under desk*
*checks for spyware on computer*
Lol. I think he was using this!
*Holds up an Apple with a camera in the stem*
REWIND IT, it will loook like the movie wanted : D
This is what happens when you don’t clutch properly while shifting.
That’s very important when you have that much body lean.
Amateur drifters always over do it and end up needing body work.
*clutches bro*
Can you please slow down?
You want me to curb my enthusiasm?
Failblog… Digg, just a day or two later.
Now I understand how a person can drive a car AND be run over by it, at the same time.
He was hit be the car he was driving. Good work on that!
Just a quick note: It usually helps to stay in the car.
its funny bc hes a mexican
“…and Oliver’s run himself over!”
What a grand twit!
I’m going to park my car like that from now on ,,, FROM NOW ON
I’m going to park my car like that from now on ,,, FROM NOW ON
I’m going to park my car like that from now on ,,, FROM NOW ON
No so much ‘burn out’ fail as ‘door handle’ fail…
Total Fail! Absolutely dangerous and should not be performed near public roads.
good ol south african cape coloureds
almost run over by his own car!!
if it wasn’t recorded nobody would believed him
Sadly, though it would be against the “tough-guy” image, a safety belt would have totally prevented this fail!
Fail Blog has went way down hill they seem to be days or weeks behind break and funny junk.
did he died?
You know the fails could very well be fake, right?
What the hell?!It’s possible only if HE wants to fall out from the car HIMSELF! You know,he fell to the same direction the acceleration vector was pointed,while his body should (MUST) have been pushed to the opposite direction.
What is it about the Japanese girl singing that’s supposed to be funny – I don’t get it at all!!!!!
centripetal force win
Ok. First, rantically isn’t a word. Second, i’m never watching “sons of tucson”, EVER. Get some new friggin’ promos.
All sweet gta in real life
FAIL TO THE EXTREME!! I think the guy is ok, But is the Car?
nice observation
“Aaaaaand Oliver has run himself over, What a great Twit!”
- John Cleese doing the upperclass twit of the year show skit.
this really is a 100 % FAIL
You really make it appear really easy with your presentation however I find this matter to be really one thing that I think I might by no means understand. It sort of feels too complicated and very large for me. I am taking a look forward in your subsequent publish, I’ll try to get the hold of it!