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Cheezburger Company Blog
Ahh, dash cams are a great invention.
Unlike those invented for bedroom activity.
You found that?
Found what?
*looks innocent*
*shiny bright halo*
paperweights?
No, I think it was a child’s bracelet.
still attached?
Yes.
To what?
Granny, you’re up past your bedtime!
I know, I feel like some company
*squeeze*
Get your head scarf on, we’ll go play
bajingobingo.woo hoo!
*squeezes*
Granny!!
*squeeeeeeeezies!*
*squeeze!*
Going now, ya’ll have fun now!
Booo!!
*squeeze*
Boo indeed.
*waves*
*adds a dash of Hiss!! to Booo!!!*
That was short-lived. :p
Nothing.
*makes sure the web feed is still up*
*swipes credit card*
*squeeze*
this is going to be AWESOME!
Hey, did anyone tell granny about powering yesterday’s video?
I did. He replied on the fail.
Heee!
Nuuuuoooooooh! Don’t leave me here!
*throws helmet onto ground*
But I wanted a ride!
*pouts*
*grabs saddle*
*hands Jules a crop*
Just don’t pull out the stirrups.
… or the spurs.
Who’s going to handle the reins?
*bridles at the audacity*
*snaffle*
*knickers*
*Nays*
*scoops up little kitteh*
*races down life’s highway,
heading for a party*
♫ Life is a highway. I’m gonna ride it all night long. ♫
Gu-u-u-u-u-uuuuud earworm!
Makes me want to go for a drive!
I think I reached my lifetime quota for that song some time in ’93.
My quota was reached in the last few years. I can only handle watching Cars with the kiddo so many times!
be strong and take comfort in the fact that it’s not that purple dinosoreass who’s name cannot be mentioned
Evil Granny, naughty Granny.
what did I do now?
I am aware of whom you speak, and he has now climbed into my head, and is refusing to leave.
I hear if you stare into a mirror and repeat that name 3 times you’ll look like an idiot.
*stares*
*speaks the name…
“Barney, Barney, Ba…”
Doesn’t work. You’re still gorgeous.
Very smooth, Arthur.
♪ I love you,
♪ You love me
Arthur, you ole sweet talker, you!
*pecks cheek*
Leila, I have a shellacked mackerel and I am not afraid to use it!!!!
*tries this again, shaking a fist at Bloggy*
Leila, I have a shellacked mackerel and I am not afraid to use it!!
SEE!?!?!?!!
*cowers*
Sooooowy.
you seem to know…. what song is this?
*squeezes nightshayde and whisks her off to the cinema*
Muahahahahahahaha.
*squeeze*
What are we gonna see?
*bites tongue*
Ooooh – is it that kind of cinema?
*giggles*
♪Cause’s it’s gone baby gone, It’s all gone.♪
Bike crash set to classical music? Check.
Reminded me of jaws even though I’ve never seen the entire movie.
*looks for LGB*
Pssst…Leila…I’ve never seen it either.
Oh thank gawd! I was bracing myself for some ‘good talking to’.
How about a good nom’ing?
Nomming of what exactly?
I am on lent? Lenting? Relenting? Repenting?
Meh. The book’s better.
I found it more enjoyable back when I read it on a scroll.
nooooom…..noom……….noooom….noom……nooom…noom…noom…noom..nom…nom..nom.nom.nomnomnomnomnomnom *SHARK ATTACK*
Oral tradition is still the best.
That’s what I keep saying…
*jumps up and down making clicking and grunting noises in agreement*
So…primal!
It scared me for life.
Scarred?
Hmmm… Both.
Scared or scarred? Did you make it all the way to the fin.
^?
Since BF has been eaten by Café World, I thought I’d channel his thoughts on Jaws from FB2:
“Surprisingly, I wasn’t too scared by Jaws when I saw it, and it employed the same techniques. Perhaps it’s because of Robert Shaw’s ridiculous sideburns.”
I couldn’t go back into the swimming pool for weeks after watching that movie! And I saw it on TV, in the 80′s, with the scarier scenes edited out! I still can’t watch it!
I saw it on this new invention at the time called “HBO”. My parents just got it, I think it was the first month they had it in fact. Honestly it didn’t bother me much (I was pretty quick to figure out they weren’t actually feeding people to man-eating sharks and was fascinated by how they made it look so real), but that was around the time I stopped boogie-boarding.
Pure coincidence!
?
I jaw what you did there.
Apparently you didn’t.
Oops. okokokokok, I understand now.
*hangs head in shame*
Hahahaha
*squeezes Arthur*
*squeezebackatcha*
I got no spit.
I’m still trying to figure out why, Admiral.
He ate a sponge?
Mouthful of sand?
♪ Fare well and a–dieu to you fair Spanish ladies . . . ♪
*takes spit*
*inverts words*
And THAT, my dear friends, is why the Admiral has no spit.
Aye aye!
*Squeezes*
*Weighs anchor*
*hears bell, magically appears*
I love your spit tunes!
♪ Show me the way to go home … ♪
No way am I getting into a scar discussion with you ZA!
Ranting and Roaring again Marius?
I’m gonna need a bigger boat.
I preferred Finding Nemo, to be honest.
And Shark’s Tale.
I am a nice shark. Not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this i mage I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.
I just realized, his name was Bruce too!
I have a feeling that’s why the shark in Finding Nemo was named Bruce.
*is a weenie dragon where cartilaginous beasties are concerned*
*ponders the phrase, “weenie dragon”*
*SNORK!*
*comforts DW*
That’s how I am about small planes. My daughter was flying a little cartoon plane around a cartoon island in Wii Sports Resort, and I had to walk away. I was about to have a heart attack.
*twitches violently at the memory*
Hee! Have you ever been up in one, NS? I was co-alt in a little Cessna with an American bald eagle…it was AWESOME!
Note to self: Do not recommend books about large prehistoric fish to DW.
Have you ever touched one? They are really fascinating critters.
I’ve dissected one. Not the best way to appreciate another creature, actually.
I actually met one face-to-face (yes, quite literally) while scuba diving in Bermuda, lo these many years ago. A blue–it was BIG.
Had I been wearing pants at the time, they would have been a-skeered right offa me!
It’s a good thing you were wearing was a wetsuit.
*squeeze*
What did you type?
Thanks, sweetie. *squeeze*
: cry :
Aw, sis — ANOTHER movie to add to the list. It’s growing, and growing…
Is it multiplying like rabbits?
I don’t know how to console my sis when she gets that way.
*sigh*
Cookies?
Popcorn?
ET Finger?
Not when I’m using it, anyway.
*nods*
…and there’s no sign of it
hoppingstopping…It’s just two movies sis.
*pat*
*pat*
*poke*
Two movies? Two?
There are six movies in the Star Wars franchise, alone.
Oh.
Um… 
Sounds like a hare-y situation.
I ear it could be worse.
LGB is hopping mad.
No, no. Just frustrated that they seem to be multiplying…
I saw 2012 last night!
Is that good? That’s gotta count for something.
I watched that the other week. I was less than impressed with it.
The one in Brazil? Yeah, me too. I was irritated at the fact they make time to do the kissy-poo stuff when the world is about to crumble. GAH!!!!
I think the movie makers think they have to put the kissy-poo stuff in any movie to get the women to go. They haven’t yet figured out that not all women want that in a movie, especially not an action movie!
*emphatic “I agree” nod*
I found “All’s well that ends well” does NOT apply to 2012. Whatsoever.
Also, is it just me or should the lead role really have been played by Nicholas Cage? It was very National Treasure/ Know1ng-y.
If you wanted it to be worse, sure.
What you can’t hear is the guy yelling, “DOT ORG!” after he hits the ground.
It’s electrifying.
Don’t graze me, bro!
That was conduction unbecoming to that officer.
The incident is currently under investigation.
By a First Circuit Court prosecutor.
Did he become incapacitated?
Well, it certainly looked like a body-breaker to me.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he needed some vertebrae fused.
At least he wouldn’t be able to resist arrest.
Take another little piezo my heart, now, baby.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loosen,
Nothing don’t mean nothing honey if it ain’t free. . .
*snork!*
There goes my ride!
*rolls up beside Leila on tricycle with squeaky back wheel*
Hop on, sis!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
*gets whiplash*
Ouuuch!!!
Did that guy hit a cop car? It’s got the thing on the grill like a police car. LOLOLOLOL!!!
And a dash cam. So I would assume that yes, it was a cop car.
And that kids is why you where a helmet.
Cap it, before you tap it!
Cover your stump before you hump.
Don you hat before you pet the cat.
If you can’t shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
You can’t bolero without your sombrero.
Everything is sweeter when you cover up your peter.
No glove, no love.
Put on your baret before you play.
*swipes ‘a’, inserts ‘e’*
Wrap it before you tap it.
Brain buckets are only useful if you have braaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnzzz.
Unfortunately what he’s talking about works regardless of brain content.
Wait a second, where?
The bike was charged with attempting to evade arrest.
Sometimes breaking wild motorcycles can be dangerous!
Young foals shouldn’t be riding at night.
Pal o min(e), o are you right about that.
Yep, it must stang a little when you hit the ground like that.
That would knock your cap-a-loosa.
I can only understand about a quarter of what you guys are saying.
Then let’s have some lunch instead. Corn on the cob?
Is it hot? I can’t stand when my corn gets friesian cold.
*ponies up for lunch*
I’ll have a lippizaner.
Can I interest you in a filly cheesesteak instead?
You are giving me nightmares.
*thorough(s) bred across that table at Leila*
You’d better hoof it out of there, Leila.
*replaces “that” in his post with “the”*
*takes a stable stance, and bukkits*
I read “wild” as “wind” and was going to agree. Vehemently.
Thank goodness for kittehlytic converters.
Cue Celine Dion:
♪♫My Harley will go ooooonnnnnn… ♫♪
Aaaaaaaaacccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*plugs ears*
*runs out of room screaming*
Do you know what her music would be great for? one of those deer whistles. You know, the ones that are on the car’s so the deer get off the road so you don’t hit em.
Hmmm. You may have a point there.
*runs off to test vcordie’s theory*
NO! They run into the car to commit suicide.
Alright, Then I have another idea to keep the deer population up. Paint every deer, bright neon orange.
NO! Then drivers will think they score extra or something.
Or Cheney will shoot them in their faces.
*raises score card*
Yes…it’s blank.
Leila, there’s cake in the break room.
Oh! Yes. Cake.
*goes to break room*
CAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!
I wrote a 9 on it. With a permanent Sharpie.
Yeah, then I doused it in White-Out to cover up the mess you made.
*stares @ LCB*
O!
M!
G!
WHYYYYYYYY!!!!???????
*willingly stuffs head in bukkit*
Someone hold me under.
*sits on k@’s head while in bukkit*
*jabs ears with letter opener*
Ahhh sweet!
*relaxes*
Thank you
*tug, tug, pull*
Oh, you said under.
Not…
*Drops milk bucket*
*runsawaywithquickness*
We have goats for that!
You want a goat to do what to you?
You’ve got to be kidding me.
You horny bastards!
The cop was looking for speeders, and the bike and rider clearly have…
♫ …got a thing that’s called radar love ♫
♫ STOP
In the name of love… ♫
I’m sure when the biker noticed they were going to hit that car, they had a sinking feeling.
I love how he throws up his arms at the end like it was the car’s fault.
Were they rubber arms?
Maybe robot arms? ’cause that would be awesome.
with lazerbeams!
Wouldn’t he have to eat them first to throw them up…?
Your point being?
“Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!”
“Why was I programmed to feel pain?!”
Rule #1: Arms taste a lot worse coming up than they do going down.
Rule #2: Everything is Arthur’s fault.
Exception to Rule #1: Except when Bender is cooking it.
Eeeewww, you have me talking about putting heat to meat. Sick!
Neener nee!
*sticks tongue out at ZA*
*doesn’t say whose*
aphlaghplahg!
*thpits*
Ka u peas leggo o ma tang???
Lego your tang? That sounds less than comfortable.
What music is it?
Devo.
Spear Britany.
Gladly.
Can I watch?
Use a spoon.
80s used them all for gagging.
*snork*
Square Pegs anyone?
Ew! Grody!
Spoken like a true valleydictorian.
No really… Anyone ID that music?
Disobey-thoven.
Handel bars Mess-iah.
Bach-injury fugue(itive)
Of course! Now I recognize it. That’s from the baroque-n Bach era.
Yah…the Sor part will come later.
Now when he walks, he Liszts to one side.
Wreckmoninov.
Daikovsky.
Bike was the only smart one, it was the only thing that tried to get away after hitting a cop.
Pretty sure you don’t run from the cops. We’ve had fails about that.
They never caught me.
Well since everything’s your fault if they caught you they’d be out of a job.
Bike’s got warrants. Can’t be caught doin’ this sh*t.
Damn, at least the guy got back up. A friend’s car was hit by a motorcyclist who blew through a red light and wasn’t so fortunate … and my friend discovered how difficult it is to open a car door with a dead body propped against it …
Morbid much?
Man, take a short break to regain your bearings after a brutal accident and everyone assumes you’re dead.
So tasty you had to throw it back up Bloggy?
Being undead does have it’s advantages, sometimes.
Thanks Bloggy, won’t you have another?
Man, take a short break to regain your bearings after a brutal accident and everyone assumes you’re dead.
*offers ZA ~I ♥ Bloggy~ t-shirt free of charge*
Come on Bloggy, don’t make me mess up this shirt already!
Thanks Leila!
*makes note to have car retro-fitted with driver-side body bags*
Uh! Uh! Can we have a pink one made?
Any color you like.
*places an order for an orange one*
Sorry, orange is on backorder.
*lower lip quivers*
But… but why are you out of orange?!
Because you hoarded it all, sweetie.
But I like orange!!!
*pouts*
Fine, I’ll give some back.
*gives some orange back to the universe*
*waits for order to be delivered from evil, amen*
Too many people believed that orange was the new pink.
Sad, really.
My glasses are orange AND pink. And somehow they still don’t look like they belong in a Dunkin Dounuts.
My daughter’s favorite color is pink. Her second favorite color is orange.
I’m sure your glasses are lovely!
Add a dash of brown and you’ll be good to go!
You can have it any color you like, as long as you like black.
Thank you Mr. Ford!
#No colors anymore he wants them to turn black#
♪ I look inside myself and see my heart is black. ♪
Nice form. The motorcyclist ran the light, hit the cop, then hopped up as if to say, “What? It wasn’t *my* fault!”
If I were the bike, Id try to leave him too…
It was getting away from his foul smelling buttocks aka Swamp Ass Juice.
Swass.
rofl!!! and eeeeeeeeeeeew!!!
There must be 50 ways to leave your driver.
1. Just stall out and die, Guy.
2. Blow up your gas tank, Frank.
3. Safety
4. Zoom down the street, Pete.
etc.
Slam into the curb, Herb.
Flip like a pancake, Mandrake.
Git under the bus, Gus.
Fall off a bridge, Midge
Slam on the brake, Jake.
Drive off a cliff, Tiff.
Suck on the hose, Rose.
Fly off teh bridge, Midge.
Take a prolonged skid, Kid.
He seems surprisingly healthy after this crash…
It’s called alcohol.
Or adrenaline.
Hmm… alcohol + adrenaline = immortality??
o.O immortality you say? I vote we test this theory.
I was on a train that hit a pickup truck. The truck was twisted into a crumpled metal ball, the engine block was on the FAR side of the train from said truck. The driver was perfectly fine. He had been drunk as a skunk. He wasn’t drunk after the accident, but that’s not really a surprise.
This is not to say that being that drunk is a good thing.
Nah, it’s just alcohol + adrenaline = zero pain reception.
Zero pain reception? But it hurts the morning after right?
Yes. You’ll be wondering what object of great mass hit you.
Depends on how you land.
Ah, yes, good point. I’m glad I waited before testing the theory.
In one continual motion the biker does a flip, rolls over, and gets up. Impressive.
*headdesk*
I hate when I screw up the AP check run and have to void 30 checks. I should have listened to my first instinct and gone back to bed today.
*squeeze*
One of those days eh?
*pat*
*pat*
Think Kauai.
Think beaches.
Think fruit plantations.
Think waterfalls.
Hey, stop by the guava plantation and bring me some, will ya?
Stop by a Kona plantation and bring me some, will ya?
Stop by a luau filled with bare-chested men dancing with sticks on fire and bring me some, will ya?
Ooh, ooh! And me!
Damn, I was hoping you’d ask for one of those coconut bras.
*takes coconuts from galloping noise makers from Monty Python and The Holy Grail*
Here you go
*hands them to Admiral Apparent*
Men wearing coconut bras with sticks on fire doesn’t sound like a good idea to me.
Our ass-cheeks get cold under those grass skirts.
*raises eybrow*
Do tell!
*sets grass skirt on fire with stick*
…Better?
Toasty buns!!!
*click*
Eeep! Toasted coconuts! *applies cream*
*gets out notepad*
*mumbles as she notes who wants what for souvenirs*
You should probably talk to your doctor if your stick is on fire.
…for more than 4 hours.
Voiding checks?
Sounds painful.
Do we have a smiley for cringe? I think we need one!!
I certainly don’t want that paper cut.
You mean cancelling Czechs?
iPhone and iPod Tounch owners ought to clickie!! clickie!!
What will they think of next?
Plants vs. Zombies isn’t on the list!
I am anti Apple. I am not clicking. Nope. Not gonna make me.
Hey, someone said Apple was offering unlimited songs for a year if you pay $130 (or something like that). Any truth to that? I have some Apple owners in my household.
An infestation? Leila you seem the type to keep a cleaner home than that.
I’ve tried to sway them otherwise but it’s too late.
They even mentioned you by name! Wait, did they have permission to do that? Maybe you should sue!
that happened right down the street from me. Ferndale, Mi.!
It has a mind of its own!
It tries to flee from the scene, but the inflicted injuries were too great.
Stoopie borrowed computer keeps kicking me off the blog! I can’t wait until New Chick is trained and I can have my desk back!
*growls and stomps away*
*brings blanket and hot chocolate to the bike*
*comforts the bike*
It will be all right bike.
ssshhhHHHHTTTT.. watch it, Michael Bay may make a movie about that stuff.. we don’t want that, do we.
*Hangs head*
*Kicks dirt*
No… we don’t want that.
Did he tip himself?
No, he bowed when he reached a new level, then gave me a lecture.
The clones!
Everything you post now, I hear in that wheezy voice. It’s pretty amusing.
Hmm. I’ll be sure to post a lot more songs from now on, then
What happened to the order of the fails? Again.
I was wondering the same thing.
I have a theory. I think this is the PTBs subtle way of telling us to go play on the fails that have considerably fewer comments than the “last” fail of the day.
They seem to be failing. They can’t scare us away from our fun!
Check your FB2 messages!
Seen and responded!
I swear it wasn’t me. I don’t think the borrowed computer is that talented.
It was your stooooopid borrowed computer. Yes. Yes, it was.
pffthlftlblt.
Beats me.
What song is that? I love the dissonance!!!
I wanna know too! It has a really nice hum to it =)
this is not a fail, it’s a crash…
this site is dying
or it’s dead already
Maybe they should paint police cars neon yellow; black is so hard to see.
<<<>>>> (comment to the end of clip)
How else do you think NEWB’s learn? Wow there are alot of freakin comments!
best
pizza man
EVER
I have a new computer and I can’t see videos on here any more. What do I need to download?
If that guy had been a REAL man he would have caught the bike before it fell over. Sheesh.
anyone know what the song is out of curiosity?
I really want to know the song too! Somebody has to know what it is, right?
what song is this?
an angry mob demands to know the song used in the video
I’m with the angry mob, what song is this?
WHAT SONG IS THIS?
WHAT FCKING SONG IS THIS? I LOVE IT.
WHAT SONG IS THIS?????? i love it <3<3<3
Hey what is the song in this video???
I reeeeaaally want to know what song this is? =(
that was close..great song!
*sigh* I was going to ask what song is on this video, but after reading the comments I’m vaguely terrified of the long string of double entendres and/or puns my comment may generate…
I too would like to know what song is playing in the video, please.
I’ve been trying to get the song name since 2006 when the commercial “a great american succes story: dreamers” by cable, They use the same song!
Common internet! What song is this?