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first
im a lowlife
your time to shine
i wish i had tiger woods problems
Oh my gah, I hope the cacti are okay.
You worship Gah?
*Ugh* I hate it when the whitest guys you know pretend to be Rasta…
GOOGLE: load/epic_fail/fail_pictures/golf_course_design_fail/8-1-0-406
Gah not Jah. Acerglyn sounds awesome!
Try “Nolife”.
When they say rough, they really mean it at this course.
It’s a prickly situation…
Opuntia then o-cholla.
No tounchy!
Officer to the Golfer: “Now sir can you show on this doll where the plant touched you?”
*points*
*points*
*points*
*points*
*points*
*points*
*extra points*
I thought Mushrooms gave out 1up or made you like Bob?
Don’t forget the tracers.
GOOGLE: load/epic_fail/fail_pictures/golf_course_design_fail/8-1-0-406
LOL
Yes, the Red Mushroom doubles your size, but you also get 1000 points.
So what do several green pricks get you? …other than chlamydia
3rd!!! what the hell is that?
Phoenix open, I was there. That cactus is a jumping cholla. When you touch them, they actually respond by forcing their spines into you. I know the bush the guy fell into, it was massive, must have hurt like hell…
Yeah, I knew somebody who didn’t believe that fact…took a long time to get those spines out of them.
Yeah, we have them here in El Paso too, they’re nasty little buggers. I got one in my leg once, and was picking out spines that I’d missed a week later, I HATE THEM! What I find funny though is when people think they know what they’re doing, and grab prickly pears (or tuna, or Indan figs, however you know them). Then they spend hours picking out the spines.
My mom had bits of cholla stuck in her legs when she was six, and I’m sure they were/are there for as long as possible (they could still be there if they’ve not dissolved or anything)
Becca? This guy got spined…you didn’t. Guess you have to be smarter (or is it faster?…) than the cholla! LOL
Or know how to use the sidewalk? haha it was really narrow though and I remembered thinking that there shoulda been some sort of fence, I guess I know why…
Ya out here in phoenix we have those nasty cactus. Last year when i was playing i fell back onto some. One in shoulder and two in back they hurt Like Hell. i could barely stand from the pain.
Ah, the jumping cholla; the best joke to us desert dwelling people.
Visitor (snow bird): “They don’t really jump! AHH!!! AHH!!! Get it off!!”
you know a bush?
No, they don’t actually jump. They’re made of sections which break off easily when you brush against them even slightly. The spines are barbed and don’t pull out easily. But they don’t move around on their own power, and they don’t force their needles into you.
cacti, eh? the teener with auntie flo visiting thought he put on tampons that were run thru the dryer. …
Second
That’s not right.
Even if you were, indeed, second.
So, don’t do it again, sir.
He didn’t see the hazard markings until it was too late.
shutup doofus
The gene pool. Please, just hop on out of it.
Jesus christ, this one looks EXACTLY like the swaskika, even more then hte last one.
I just keep hitting REFRESH until there is a new post!!!
That seems actually more fun that seeing the pictures
*Haraw*
Sign sign pass.
Looks like someone fell into the cactus…ouch. Might even be cholla. Double ouch.
some plp call them jumping teddy bears
looks like more trouble with tribbles
its the mirror universe version of tribbles…
Ouuuuuuccccccchhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
This…seeing this picture made me cringe
Ow.
Ow.
owowowowowowowowwow
rara oohlalala roma romamaah
āŖOoh eeeh ooh ah ah, ting, tang, walla walla bing bangā«
ā«Doctor Doctor, gimme the newsāŖ
āŖ I’ve got Cacti back scratch feverāŖ
ā«I’ve got you under my skinā«
I used to live in walla walla
*facepalm*
Looks like Tucson. I’m from there, and tourists are always falling into cactuses (Laura I think you’re right about it being cholla)…or falling asleep sunbathing and getting hospitalized for burns.
I’m from Tucson, too and I see a lot of cacti related injuries. It’s fantastic… What a jerk-off.
Where in Tucson do you see cacti? Maybe I was living in the wrong part… But in Scottsdale they’re everywhere.
They’re all over the place in and around Tucson. A lot of people have them in their front yards, and they’re all over Saguaro National Park, both east and west of Tucson. They also line the streets in some areas, and in landscapes in and around businesses I’ve seen. They’re everywhere. I can’t believe you’ve never seen cacti in Tucson.
I do remember having a nasty run-in with a prickly pear shortly after I first moved here back in ’79, but no cactus-related injuries for me since then.
That does looks at look more like Tucson that Phoenix (I live in Tucson). Maybe it’s from that Marana Golf Tourney that they just had a few weekends ago…
This actually happened to me too back in 2002 in Scottsdale. Had them all over, just about as bad as this! My aunt had to pull them all out with tweezers. Soooo painful!
Aaaaaaaaaaa that suck cholla cactus are really really painful The really hard part is getting them out
PAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!! If he moved it would only hurt more, that’s the ONLY reason this guy is not doubled over sobbing, then again he might be macho. . .
nah, they don’t hurt so much going in, they don’t hurt so much staying in- it’s pulling them out that hurts like a sonofabitch.
either way that guy is hurtin’.
Must…Resist…Tiger Woods joke!
Done for you, Btrstarwolf. Thank Mushy āā.
At least they dont need handcuffs if he did something wrong or if there is a warrant for his arrest so to me its a fail and a win.
Uhh, I’m pretty sure those are paramedics, not cops.
Those firemen are clearly just admiring the new line of Tiger golf apparel. If I’m not mistaken, his wife designed this particular outfit.
A hole for every hole he’s played?
Bravo! Bravo! Encore!
*golf claps*
Think he’s done enough encores, LGB.
He would have been better staying encores. It’s when he started sinking balls off of it that he started to fail.
You’re saying he should have used his woods only on the green?
Of course! When you’re that well known, you don’t just “hook” up with everybody!
I guess everyone is just looking for a little slice of heaven.
I beg your “par”don, but what fore?
There’s nothing wrong with someone back-swing in their glory, so long as they earned it the honest and fairway.
Well, for starters, let me putt it this way, you can’t be that famous, hit the sweet spot on a few women and expect not to hear from the mulligan.
Could just be the base pursuit of the bird(ie)s and bees.
he must not have been eagle-eyed to see the cacti
Exactly, and plenty of spines for the next time he finds himself without one.
Oooooohhh…. nice one!
Introducing Prick: by Tiger Woods
Lol…Nice
no need to be a prick
i signed up just to say that
No need to sign up. Play anytime you want!
ohh i like to play
This talk is starting to sound sexual…
Let me add to it.
Ohhh Yeahhh…
Shhhhhh.
OF COURSE zacker has to sign up. And please pay your $100 membership fee in the form of a check made out to Mighty Mush.
Thank you, and welcome!
umm me no play no more ahh mommys callin for dinner I DONT WANNA GO IN THE VAN
(O_O)
There’s nothing to see here. Move along. Move along.
this is not the zacker your looking for
Ok. *heads off to Bayside HS*
how in the hell…do you do that?
When you don’t have the good sense to take a mulligan.
Must be a sting operation.
When you’re not from Arizona.
And here is The Cactus Man..
Play the (OUCH!!!!) ball (OUCH!!!) where it (OUCH, OWIE!) lies (OWWWWW!)
I can just see it. Friend “You got to hit the ball where it lies.”
Golfer: “I get to move it out of this fuzzy plant for a one stroke penilty.”
G: *leans over*
F: “BOO!”
The rest as they say is history.
You have to be careful around your fellow pierce, they’ll sometimes play tricks on you.
You must play the ball where it lies…
Beaten to the punchline, but the sting to my pride still isn’t as bad as that golfer’s…
Your name gos so well for this post.
This dude must spend an hour before each tourney in front of a mirror with the most vicious game face chanting “play it where it lies, play it where it lies…”
Golfer loathes this plant
He got too close to it and
Cacti got revenge.
*dims the hipster coffeehouse lights*
*signals jazz band to put down a steady base line*
That’s one smooth jive you’ve got there, you cool cat you.
*snap, snap, snap*
*Snap, turn, snap, turn*
*Doesn’t know where he’s snapping, can’t see with these sunglasses on inside*
The cacti spikes hurt.
The Golfer is not happy.
See spot write haikus.
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator
Sir, what do you want?
Pull them out one at a time,
or six hands at once.
*dons super sexy wet-looking bathing suit with more skin showing than bathing suit and very high heels*
*holds up āWoo-Hoo Scotty and Sammyā card overhead while prancing around in circle*
Ha! Thanks, but that one’s not mine, just one of my favorites.
*drools*
I’m thinking the little blue gloves the firemen are wearing aren’t really going to help much.
I’m suprised that there are firemen here, and they have not be stolen off by some of the peeps.
We’re working on it!
Well — they don’t seem to be quite as attractive as some firemen. I’ll pass on this lot.
Some folks will do anything to get the firemen to show up!!
No kidding!
Mmmmm!
*quickly puts up a stand to sell whip cream and chocolate syrup*
*Grabs pipe-wrench*
*Readies Fire Hydrant*
*Holds auction on the only towel around* (Whoever buys it, buys the right to use it.)
Lol! Good thing I have 3 firemen in my family ^.^
I think we have a couple of those cacti on our land out in New Mexico. I don’t think I want to get close enough to it to find out though.
Once…I was in Arizona and I was playing with a toy gun. (I was about 7 or 8 years old) The (It was like a foam ring) bullet got stuck in the needles. I went to go get it and my cousin tackled me. I got jabbed in the hand and have a small scar from it.
Ahh the memories.
Sounds like your cousin knew what was what! I try to avoid thorny or spiny plants, I like to keep my blood on the inside!
I have a similur story… I used to live in Arizona, and when i was about 6 years old, my sister and i were playing tag outside (I know, I know… two-person tag sucks.), and my sister had a mirage. it was really hot out, and she said later that she saw a comfy chair with a glass of icewater, so she went over and plunked down on the “chair”. It was actually a very spiny cactus. she had spines stuck in her back from the back of her head to the back of her knees! being a classic brother, I laughed. XD
um… a mirage is a trick of the light, when heat close to the ground causes a reflection (technically it’s refraction, but who am i to split hairs, the end result is the same in this case) of the sky, therefore the illusion of water- anyone can see it if they’re in the right place, it can even be captured by a camera- what you describe is hallucination- not at all the same thing, in fact could be a sign of heat stroke, rather more serious. happened to me once in my younger days, on a 100 mile bicycle ride in the desert, i ran out of water halfway through but kept going anyway- by about 65 miles, i noticed i was no longer sweating… by 75 miles, i felt like mind and body were only halfway attached- it was at that point that i figured i better find some water (and shade) or i was going to be in severe trouble… and then there was a gas station, thank you civilization. the remaining 20 miles was rather uneventful.
Well, he’s obviously being mobbed by your desert-variety tribbles.
And here I thought tribbles were relatively harmless?
Evolution, M’Dear. When they were cute & warm & furry, they got snatched by other life forms. Those who were more cold & prickly survived longer.
I’m afraid the warm fuzzies have died out or have gone into hiding.
Clickie!
I remember learning how to make those fuzz balls.
I was never very good at it.
*shrugs*
Neat book. But I’m not sure yet to get it. The pictures where drawn by a D!ck.
S’okay, I get over things pretty fast! I’m apparently an optimist.
Glass half full type? Well for me, it all depends on the direction I’m going. If I am trying to empty it, then it’s half empty. If I am trying to fill it, then it’s half full. If I leave it and come back to find it half gone, then I just yell out “I backwashed in the glass of milk!”
The glass is half full of liquid and half full of air.
Half + Half = Whole?
So, If I am told that I am a half wit and only have half a brain. Does that make me a whole idiot?
No, it just means you have a whole mentality. It doesn’t specify, what type of mentality, nor does this specify what the glass is full of.
It didn’t fall short. Don’t take Critter too seriously.
Okay, perhaps I just didn’t pick up on his/her irony.
Eh, Critter just took your joke off in another direction, we do that sometimes here.
Yeah, you’re right. I’m just so used to people questioning logic on the internet, that I sometimes wonder… I’m also pretty used to my sense of humor being too dry for people.
ā« With just one more brain, what a half-wit he’d be ā«
I’m the type to yell back “So did I!!!”
Missing the obvious LOL…these are desert-variety-Klingon-tribbles!
ā« ‘Cause every girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp-dressed man! ā«
Golf shirt, golf shoes. Don’t know where that ball is going to.
Golf suit, cacti. Got to get these things out of my thigh!
LOL
It’s FAKE.
Yep, no shadows. Fake. Failblog fail.
no, you fail… look at the shadow on the ground of his leg… they’re definitely there.
learn how to read shadows… the sun is hitting that side of his body straight on and all the shadows are on the other side
also look at how bunched up his sleeve is. I’m pretty convinced its real
Jeebus Chrissmus, don’t you fkkwads have anything better to do than call every photo you see a ‘shop?
Is the “First!” hobby too difficult for you?
his friends call him spikes now
ha……
Alien Prickly Bear Caterpillars to Firemen:
Get this guy off us!!!
Oooooh…the woolly caterpillar population doesn’t bode well for this winter ending soon.
Uh oh, some geneticist must have brought back the wooly mammoth caterpillar!
Now the Question.
Did he finish the course before going to the EMTs? Or did he let the other golfers play thru as he was being attended to?
I can also see his golf partner going, “Hey, I think you got something on you.”
Just remember, no spikes in the clubhouse.
*snerk*
Excellent comment, Rich!
No, it is priceless.
Well, that changes everything.
I would make a joke. But they never make any cents.
Oh come on, it’ll lots of fund!
*Holds out fist* Pound it.
I feel so fortune-ate!
Attack of the giant caterpillars
Cacti: We want hugs.
DO NOT WANT!!!
where’s the fai-ohhhh i see, someones finger is in the camera shot in the top left man thats an epic fail
/sarcastic off
that was actually pretty funny, those things hurt like hell if you even get 1 spike in you
And we Floridians complain about sand spurs in out feet? This takes it to a whole new level.
He got attack by a whole bunch of little pricks.
“What a prick”
DON’T get in the hole!!!!!!!
Cacturne uses Needle Arm! Its Super Effective!
Golfer is stunned!
Dang..Jumping Chollas really jump.
Sure… Laugh. But, when those giant caterpillars turn into giant butterflies and he conquers the sky on a flappity rainbow – who’s gonna be laughing THEN?
you rock my world, Smitty.
Fireman 1: “I’m not touchin’ him.”
Fireman 2: “Well *I*’m not touchin’ him.”
Fireman 3: “Buddy, you’re screwed.”
FIRST!@
seems like a sticky sport.
Ouchiemama.
That’s funny, what are all those caterpillars doing on– oh. Oh geez.
He’s such a prick
How golf differs from the rest of life:
In golf, you’re doing well if you can finish-up with the hole and sink your balls with as few strokes as possible.
There are times when we want it that way…
Ugh, women can be so confusing…
“I have a headache.”
We really only want it that way when the guy in question is not very good…
And sex is supposed to be good for a headache!!
Lol, I get it. I was just being silly.
*snerk*
Yeah, I won’t claim to actually understand women, because very woman is different. But some of the signs that other men don’t pick up on just make me want to *headdesk.*
Drives “e” into post…
Believe me, I KNOW what you’re talking about!! Try watching the goings on in a bar sometime, but be warned, you may want to pound your head against the bar.
*Ouch!*
It really is amazing the number of signals that get missed. Or completely misread. I suppose the alcohol doesn’t help, but still!
It makes me glad I donāt play that game anymore. For me, itās just āwas I an @$$hole today? Yes/No.ā
So how are things on your end? They seem to be going wellā¦
They are, Rooster and I are pretty happy. I didn’t know that happen. It’s pretty amazing.
That’s good to hear! I’ve never had too much luck with holding myself back from a partner. I hope it continues to go well.
Thanks, so do we!!
It sounds like you’re doing it right. Good Luck.
Iām getting tired and starting to lose coherence. Have a good night Avis.
G’night!
And I hope we are!
*snore*
Well….I think he got the point of golfing now.
photography fail (nice finger in front of the lens)
For crying out loud, that is the least of the fails in this picture!!
Squeeze Theorem?
Wow….What a Prick!!
I thought stuff like this only happened in cartoons… I’m never going near a cactus again.
fail on this fail, picture is totally photoshopped! you can tell the sunlight on the back of the guy doesnt match up in any way, and the cactus are cut out from another picture!
Please look at the shadow of his lower legs. You may change your mind.
It’s really just a big trick. There’s not enough failure in the world, Failblog has to make it up.
Actually it was on the news the other day. I heard from a friend. apparently the dude was chasing his cat, tripped, and landed in the chollas, it was at some golf course or other.
Oh, fer cryin out loud. You can make an argument for almost *any* pic being shopped. This one–it’s just not that spectacular nor unusual; why would anyone bother? Cholla is all over New Mexico and Arizona at least, probably the whole Southwest. The sections break off at the least touch–if there’s a good wind they can scatter. The poor guy has a bit worse than usual but I didn’t even raise my eyebrows. I did wince, though.
Not strong in the ways of sarcasm?
Cactus WIN are you kidding me.
Let this be a lesson to all you protesters out there.
Cactus: World’s best police brutality preventer.
that’s jumping cactus. It really hurts, I’ve had it jump on me before.
Cacturne = win. Whether or not it is an actual pokemon.
Love mountain biking. Hate chollas. I feel for that guy.
the rubber gloves are for what?
Do you really want to know?
proof of what golfers really get up to
straight to the bushes with a nice stiff wood
Yeah! Dig it out in the rough! Slap that bunker! Drive it home yeah!
OMG, he is being nommed by furry alien larva!
get yer slug out!
Kill the slime!
Are the officers to arrest the cacti for hurting the poor guy?
What are those sticky green cones? Large nettle cones or something?
is this the new version of a sand-trap? ouchies.
haha, damn, didn’t know that cacti like these exist. Hmm, would be nice to have one for my cacti collection….or maybe not D:
“Sir, I’m placing you under arrest for the disturbance and destruction of an endangered species. Place your hand on the hood of the car. Before I pat you down, do you have anything on you that might injure me?”
What a prick
So did he ever find his ball?
photoshopped. kinda obvious.
retard attention whore. kinda obvious.
Golf is a long roll in the cacti wasted.
he’s wearing 23 pieces of flair
YAFF!
This is a WIN… for the golfer… and the cactus!
He’s done packing?
Oooh! thats gonna hurt comin’ off!
Cactus man strikes again!
I love how the three medics are like, “You pull them off.” “No, YOU!” “We need thicker gloves…..”
The cattercactus feeds.
Cattercactus. That is my new nom-de-plume.
Transformation complete.
Just rubbing it in your face now
That guy is stupid… He killed the cacti. -__-
Best fail ever!
Real-life Tokidoki…fail? Win?
well i hope he got a hole in one….cause if not fyl dude
Would NOT want to be the one to have to remove those!
nice camoflauge bro
the bald tan on the police officers head is the real fail
LOOKS quite shopped… the light looks a little wrong…
^^ Belongs to the section: “This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time”
You know at first when I saw this I thought it was some dude with Christmas decorations wrapped around him. Then upon closer examination I realize it’s cactus.
During the drought the Phoenix Open had to replace it’s water hazards with a substitute to keep the course challenging….
PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Why is the fire department there? Were the Tribbles on fire?
~If the patient isn’t on fire, get the hell outta my way!
Lol! Attack of the giant-bacteriums?
SSOOOO SHOPPED!!!
looks like it hurts……
The joys of being uncoordinated near a big Cylindropuntia bigelovii…
I think this experience is going to stick with him for a long time
I’m glad Bruce Willis was there to help.
Ah, the painful wages of being a wiley sooopergenius.
omg, those things look like giant spiky caterpillars that are consuming him XO
Those aren’t cacti! They’re OBVIOUSLY large-friendly-caterpillars! We should all be so lucky *sigh*
You may be right about them being caterpillars, but I wouldn’t be so sure about their friendlyness. They will be through the skin in a minute, and then the true horror will begin…
For a sec I thought he was covered in giant fuzzy caterpillars.
Please anyone in the Midwest I will pay shipping & handling and your fee to send me a few of these cholla to me here in NC! I want to plant them under a few choice windows at my house
My dad had to do a call like this years back. He’s a paramedic. Some guy on a bike got pushed off into the cactus I think. xD ouch!
How about… PHOTOSHOP FAIL. You can tell it’s fake…
i thought those were caterpillars at first >.>
he’s undercover
)
I bet that guy was in some pain the next day! He must’ve been drinking a little too much on the golf course and couldn’t keep himself from stumbling down the hill. A video of the fall would have been so much better.