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Funny you should put it that way
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First
is the worst.
The “regulars” talking about irrevalent things is killing failblog, they also don’t seem to sleep and will probably reply with some idiotic jumble within seconds, followed by making rhymes and lame euphemisms to demonstrate their “wit”.
Ben, what you demonstrate there is a horrendous lack of what we do here. The comments section has been traditionally a forum for every failblogger to express his or her views, not just about the fail itself. This has been going on for more than three years, and just because you complain does not mean we will stop our conversations. Your comment about us not going to sleep doesn’t seem to take into account that many of us are from different time zones, so that they times we sleep are completely different, and thus irrelavent. By critisizing our rhymes and euphemisms you also seem to not understand our sense of humo(u)r, and how it is utilised. We love to joke and make puns, and we know they’re occasionally lame, but that’s part of the fun. And if this is an “idiotic jumble”, then I’m afraid I don’t quite grasp your definition of “idiotic” or “jumble”.
BF! You’ve escaped the clutches of FarmVille/Café World?
Yes, I-STRAWBERRIES?!
*begins to rush*
Waaait a minute, I didn’t plant any strawberries…
*eyes narrow suspiciously at Jon*
Do you approve of my overly verbose, BFF-esque, excessive eponymity? (I say this with great love for you, BFF, btw.)
*discuss amongst yourselves*
*squeezies*
Eh, Ben’s got a point – it’s frustrating opening the comments expecting to see something about the fail du jour and being greeted by hundreds of posts of… whatever.
Can’t you folks start a new forum for random chat?
We have one but we like to stay here and annoy everyone.
If there were hundreds of interesting comments about the fail it wouldn’t be so tedious to find them.
*makes a lame euphemism*
*rhymes*
*times*
*demonstrates “wit”*
*gathers*
*doesn’t sleep*
*looks one comment down*
*sighs*
*pat pat pat-SQUEEZE*
*squeeze*
*kills Failblog*
Don’t worry…Failblog has more lives than a cat. Somehow it keeps resurrecting itself despite our continued presence.
*never sleeps*
*pokes without paying*
You can’t be serious…
*chatters randomly*
Heh, good points.
Excellent comment GBF. Keep on paddling them complainers.
But bondfan, people who say First have been doing it for 3 years as well, and yet they are second class citizens here, as well as other expressions and activities that have been going on for just as long. And ben is correct about the horrendous amount of quasi-intellectualism here that just makes the casual internet go-er want to scream.
I think ben just needs to be loved a bit.
You have a problem with wit? You have a problem with people having fun? You have a problem with the concept of time zones, meaning generally at least one “regular” will be awake at any given time?
Jon, people who say “First” are just trying to have fun in their own way, for example. No need for me to explain further, it should be self-explanatory.
screw time zones, some of us are vampires…
Sorry I’m late! I don’t have any rhymes right now, but I’d like to thank you for keeping Failblog alive with your relevant comment. Good job!
Gotta work…
Grrrr. *anklesqueeze*
*hands it to Fluffy*
I clocked what you did there!
*does an about face*
You arrived just in the nick of time!
Oh great. Now you’re gonna get ‘em all wound up.
I find all of this quite alarming.
See? You guys are all about the minutiae.
GS, perhaps you should dial 911.
I second that, LCB.
Sheesh. Some people get ticked off by our talk.
That’s just plain cuckoo.
They shouldn’t spring to conclusions so quickly.
They need to sit back, rolex and ignore it if they don’t like it.
*pokes head into thread*
I just wanted to chime in and say hello to everyone.
*can’t come up with anything timely to say*
Then let’s play!
TAG (Heuer)!! You’re it!
You’re on a Ro(l)lex!
In Casio missed it, “TAG, Heuer it!” would’ve worked just fine.
Sorry, it was the only way I could think of a way to use “Casio.”
I considered it. The pronunciation was too off for me, though. I did it for the Seiko of clarity.
When it comes to pun-runs, Dragon, you wear the crown.
It Omega big difference if you keep working the comment until it suits what you want to say.
She’s a jewel, that’s for certain.
*squeezes mushy and the Admirable Admiral*
Urwerk here is done!
Glad you didn’t fob off the pun-run on someone else.
Well, that would have been just devilish of me, and I’m no Bezel-bub.
*SQUEEZE*
I came help Huygens you two.
Surely we can make puns in numbers greater than these.
I dunno, I’ve seen great pun-runs end with less than a quarter of the amount of comments in this one.
Came? I meant “can’t”, of quartz…*kersplorch!*
Don’t worry…we’ll all band together to keep it going.
I’m not here to pun-run; I’m here to watch fluffy watch!
A guy wrote a book about “The Art of suicide”, three years later he made his own contribution to the art.
The mean girls who bullied Phoebe Prince to death should be made to read that book, 3dham. More on that by clicking on my name.
Hit the nail on the head ben, hit the nail perfectly on the head.
That was a screw.
He should screw. Yes, verb it.
“they also don’t seem to sleep”
Ever heard of time zones?
One of us was to be awake at all times.
In all actuality, if we didn’t sleep, we’d die (except for ZA). Since this has been going on for three years now, SOMEONE must be sleeping.
What I don’t get is why people think there are “rules” for a forum such as this or that there can ever realy be long in depth discussions fo the “fail.” Clearly anyone coming here is looking for distraction, entertainment or interaction. If you do not like the interaction here — go somewhere else! Would you walk up to a group of people in a bar and proceed to tell them you think their conversation is stupid and now that you are there they should talk about something else?
It is as if they say “HERE I AM — ENTERTAIN ME” (oh, and here are my rules for i think is funny, please follow them … )
Heehee! Well said, EM.
Thanks – I just could stand it any longer. You want to talk about the fail – talk about the eff’ing fail. If what you say is funny I am sure we will jump in and fun will be had by all, but don’t just show and say — “hey you guys are lame, can’t you do something different so I am entertained.”
If you have nothing to say, say nothing at all.
OR ELSE
*goes back in time*
*places “good” between “to” and “say”*
*applies supper glue*
*returns to present era*
Sorry. Little brother decided then to blast the radio, and it made it hard to concentrate.
*makes appropriate changes*
Wowzers, we entered into a new era during the time between those two posts up there?
*squeeeeeze*
Seconds the… *squeeze for EM*
If you want to see what talking about the fail looks like, take a peek at the next fail.
I complained.
I REALLY don’t want to. I was SOOOO happy to see the peeps playing on this fail that I didn’t even look at the other one.
Yeah you’re right. Would have been better not to post there at all.
Eeeep! The Chilean earthquake has set off a tsunami warning for Hawaii.
I thought the plan was to let ‘em all go to Mooooooooom then jump in and release a really big FOOOOOOOOOM!
I was there — I came back here!!!! *DOUBLE squeezees for AA and DW*
Not yet. Phew!
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/12/21/model-rocket-fail/#comment-721121
Australia and New Zealand appear to be safe. I was annoyed at how little information was being relayed for areas other than Hawaii. I didn’t know whether it was bias or based on data.
The 1960 earthquake in Chile caused a tsunami that killed people in Hawaii, the Philippines, and Japan.
*worryworryworryworryworry*
You mean how you like to whine about Firsters and supposed trolls? Wait a minute, somethings fishy here.
You’re not the boss of me!
*sticks out tongue*
*squeezies*
*rhymes eight times*
*pokes without paying*
Suicide Club
ht tp://www.suicideclub.com/
People who attempt suicide don’t deserve life or pity and to suggest suicide should take place is just weird, you should feel bad about yourself.
i should feel bad about myself? i am not suggesting anything, just informative about how often this takes place. there are many ppl who need to talk about this subject, for it is something they deal with on a regular basis. for you to be so sensitive on a site such as this is ironic.
You posted a link for what im guessing is a “do it yourself” (lol) suicide site, doing that is clearly promoting suicide or was your “subtle” way of suggesting I should commit suicide (as a joke, I’m guessing).
“guessing” is right. had you actually looked at the site, you would have found that the actual site is a memorial for a man who dedicated his life to “live each day as though it were their last” by creating events and experiences that would challenge their deep personal fears, expand their knowledge and understanding of their world, later becoming known as the “Suicide Club”
Next, time please do your research before making your quick judgments.
Why was it included in a reply to my comment then, I didn’t want to risk seeing corpses, so that’s why I didn’t look. More of an assertion that you were being a jerk as it’s called suicide club and it was a reply to my comment. Pretty good grounds for me to think you were being mean, if you ask me…
Thanks for filling in with the idiotic jumble.
I like how he proves that he was actually correct when he wasn’t.
“Pretty good grounds” is idiotic jumble for “can’t see his own fault”.
The two are generally synonymous.
but alas, you are still wrong! i did not reply to your comment
ps: maybe you should take a break, you aren’t making yourself sound any less stupid..
He wasn’t paying attention because he was too busy being “revalent”.
* snork *
How do I sound stupid, I’m entitled to my opinions, and you, yours. Funny how those responding insult me or correct me when I’ve used incorrect grammar or misspelled something, or they don’t agree with me, yet I showed them respect by not doing the same to them (saying that you’re “killing” failblog with rhymes etc: doesn’t count as insulting, calling me a “whiny b!tch” does). And I’m the callous one/troll?
Catcab, by continuing to comment that I was “wrong” for not looking at a website which could have shown corpses and sounded like something that would, is wrong, and if anything, you sound stupid for using even worse grammar than me, the one the other commenters corrected as the grammar n@zis they are.
You are a complete twat, you shouldnt make comments on anything you havnt fully looked into, I suffer from severe depresion and have attempted suicide a couple of times. I have gone to the doctor who advised that there is a chemical imbalance in my brain making me feel this way, im not looking for pity just understanding of the situation, hope you dont think a mentally disabled person is also looking for pity, like i said TWAT
Not pity, just encouragement from a complete stranger on the Intertubes, I hope you beat your depression and live a long life.
You’ll get sympathy here, not pity, Sulty. Unfortunately, so many people still have medieval views of disorders that affect the mind that they spout ignorant nonsense, as you have seen. I wish you the very best and a happy life.
People who find themselves in dark places should not be ridiculed. I’ve known a few good people who ended themselves way before I wanted to miss them. It’s a tough enough world out there without the morons making unfortunate comments about a very serious issue.
Phoebe Prince, R.I.P.
Ditto. I’d had a very good friend many years ago end his life, and recently a traveling companion do the same. The loss that the people left behind feel is tremendous. Let someone close to you know how you feel if you ever get down that low. Sometimes it is not that evident to even those closest to you, and believe me we suffer as well.
*squeezes Sulty*
Depression sucks. That chemical imbalance really messes with your brain. Glad you’re taking care of it.
Last year I had clinical depresion. I wouldn’t go outside. Now I’m here and I feel better.
Nice caring of your parents and family you have there, don’t you see how much you could have hurt them? I hope you get better anyhow
(Comparing a mental disability to someone that attempts suicide makes light of mental disability, do not lessen their struggle by acting as though your life is as difficult as theirs, they act as a beacon of hope as they fight to live successful lives, people who suicide give up on such a potential and as such are cowards in the large sense, while I admire those mentally disabled that persevere, such as the depressed that would never take their life or even try).
That post above was to Sulty, no clue how to work this reply thing that you’ve all mastered
When I was in 10th grade, two students killed themselves.
The first one i had a deepnconnection with-a sweet young man of 15 who wrote poems and actually read a few to me. I was really wanting to ask him out, and never got the chance, as I was shy and put it off quite literally a day too late.
Anyone care to guess how hopeless and dark life seemed for a kid who had severe drug addictions? Often people endup addicted trying to self medicate and make themselves feel how everyone else looks in their eyes.
I can tell you from self experience that committing suicide is neither selfish nor does it have anything to do with other people and how it will make them feel. I have felt life would be easier for everyone if I were not in it, I felt I would be doing someone a FAVOR.
Don’t judge. You have no idea what sort of things someone may have been through. I have tried to commit suicide and reached out to a few people to stop myself. Its incredibly hard to make yourself GET help, ad you often feel alone, Isolated and are filled with a self hatred you have no idea about. These people are NOT themselves and very often CANNOT HELP IT due to chemical imbalances in the brain. It is a symptom of a disease called depression (among other diseases). To simply call these poor individuals selfish is down playing a very serious problem in our society today.
Mental disabilities are not a black and white thing. There are so many shades of grey that it takes on The complexity of the worlds most detailed pencil sketch.
yes, and there are twisted thinking also with that. i’m not saying it’s “wrong thinking,” don’t get me wrong, this i learned during my treatment at a hospital. some are mind reading (believing people think a certain way) self-blame (seeing someone else with problems and blame themselves) discounting and filtering (cancelling out everything good out and focusing on the bad things) labelling and blaming (well…wat it sounds like) and emotional reasoning. there are more, but i really don’t know them. I mainly had the discounting and filtering, and i learned to combat these thoughts through rational comebacks. rational comebacks are like if i think “there is no future for me” i can comeback it by saying “for now i feel bad, but feelings change.” and i want my future now to educate people about depression.
Ben I take it you don’t believe in suicide? In some cultures North American the aboriginal native believe old people and elders should go into the woods and finish their lives with honour. Not be a burden on their village. This still happens today. Free will was given to us for a reason I think.
Choose life. From conception to natural death, you’re valuable. It is my honor to love and care for other human beings whatever state of functioning they may be in.
*overwhelmed by the seriousness, screams “Oh, the humanity!” in a very hammy dramatic way and pretends to faint*
Really? People who are suffering so much that suicide seems like their only option don’t deserve pity? Are you a troll or just an enormous D-bag?
FYI, I seriously doubt this event is promoting suicide – it’s probably some kind of seminar on current trends and prevention. Which makes this fail all the more hilarious.
Ben, I totally agree, there’s a reason they changed “comments” to “failures in communication.”
You seem perfectly fine with talking about why we aren’t talking about the fail. Do you have a list of acceptable off-topic subjects we can talk about? Is talking about the list of acceptable topics on your list?
Sorry to inform you, but all these questions are on the list. Don’t ask them again.
Ow. My head hurts.
*squeeze!*
I hope that was my squeeze, cuz if so I needed it. Spent the day with the mother-in-law.
Damn you failblog, your reply function is broken.
Pity is one of the lowest of human emotions and should be reserved for those you truly detest.
SECOND IS THE BEST. THIRD IS THE ONE WITH THE HAIRy CHEST. CAPS FAIL.
Wow, this comment caused a lot of controversy.
yeppers.
alex just joined male horse milking
Oh, I want to attend that course! My friend went, but I haven’t heard from him in a while…
I think this could be a horrible pun, also SECOND
its obviously a pun. failblog fail
Thank God that lunch is provided!
Yeah, obviously intentional. Like the “this bag is green” shopping bags. Half the bags around here have that on them.
yesterday this would have been funny, but not today since i just found out that a friend of mine killed herself last night. really bad timing.
Wow. I’m really sorry.
*squeezes sara* I’m really sorry.
I wonder if Andrew Koenig saw that ad…
Suicide is for cowards
Greedy cowards, even if they don’t have a family which would make it hurt the family emotionally, someone has to clean up after them, and that would suck.
Greed? How so?
Suicide is selfish, maybe. The mentality of a suicidal person rarely thinks about how their death would affect other people.
Not greedy, though. Generally dead people can’t hoard possessions. It seems like a harsh thing to say, but it’s true.
That’s just it though – people who are suicidal are often in a state of mind where they actually convince themselves that their families would be better off without them. If they were in their right minds, they’d realize the pain that it would cause them, but they aren’t, obviously!
FYI, I’m a counselor on a suicide prevention hotline, so I have a bit of experience in this area.
Actually, for some people I think it’s more of a weighing which hurts them most, and for how long.
The pain just gets to be so unrelenting and grindingly harsh.
Depression lies to you and tells you all sorts of horrible things.
It will tell you that your family will be better off without you.
It will tell you that love is just a farce so you can negate the preventative powers of your family’s love.
It will tell you that things are never going to get better and that life is only a long series of suffering and private insults.
It robs the joy of life and causes anhedonia, numbness, withdrawal, isolation, and impotence. Life loses all of its savor, color, and flavor.
If I can say anything and anyone can borrow any hope, please give life a chance. Where there is life, there is hope. I promise that the pain does not last forever. I promise that life is full of changes and unexpected reversals. Clichéd as it might sound, this too, shall pass. Before you do anything drastic, please, please talk to someone. Contrary to how you feel, you are not hopeless, you are not helpless, and you are not alone!
My struggles with depression and anxiety have made me a better, stronger, more empathetic, caring person. I made a choice and it has been hard work, but I can say now that I am glad to be alive. I look forward to the future. And, I can help other people who are hurting. My life has dignity, purpose, and meaning.
You are valuable and humanity will be diminished by your absence.
I’m gonna take a wild guess and suggest that ben is trying his best to be as trollish and offensive as possible.
I hope so. Genuine ignorance is painful to watch.
He’s succeeded then, Avis.
Now, where the hell is Gracie’s sparkly bat. …
And I will add that he is being quite successful at it.
How am I being a troll by saying I think people who kill themselves are greedy, they don’t show any care for their family or those that have to clean up after them. Should I feel for this individual? They wouldn’t feel for anyone else, why should others feel for them.
That’s just it, though – they think they’re doing a favour to their family by removing themselves from it. Believe me, I’ve been through this philosophy before.
Ben, they’re offended by you. These people are also offended by people who say First, so don’t take them seriously.
And everyone know just how much value is added to the discussion by those “people who say First”
And the discussion value is increased ten fold by going on mile long pun runs in which effectively render the comment box unusable.
Yes, but you’d have good company:
Vincent Van Gough
Ernest Hemingway
Cleopatra
Brian Keith
etc. etc. etc.
There is an awesome book on this topic of the artistic temperament and bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness). There are so many brilliant people suffering from this. Kay Redfield Jamison – read her!
ht tp://www.amazon.com/Touched-Fire-Manic-Depressive-Artistic-Temperament/dp/068483183X/ref=sr_1_3/179-8422399-2859064?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267307702&sr=1-3
Don’t try suicide.
Nobody’s worth it.
Don’t try suicide.
Nobody cares.
Don’t try suicide.
You’re just gonna hate it.
Don’t try suicide.
Nobody gives a damn.
That sums it up pretty well. For a little while they’ll talk about what a horrible person you were to do such a thing to *them* and then in a few months to a year they’ll forget all about you and go on with their wretched little lives.
As far as your loved ones are concerned, that is not true, not true at all.
*squeezes lookalike*
*squeezes Jack Johnson aka AE*
Thanks!
It seems helpful…
Lulz.
Hope u guy brought a cleaver, cuz if not, im gonna decapitate u with a toothbrush and a post-it note.
Wow, I’ve never been depatitated before, not something I’d like to try right now though.
At least not in front of the children.
So not a fail. The pun is clearly intended. Failblog fail.
I third that.
Ditto.
I concur.
2nd that.
All are welcome, WTF? And this is G-Rated?
There may be some interesting ways to do that…
Yeah, if you’re inventive enough there are several ways to kill yourself with a monopoly set!
Having worked in acute psychiatric (locked) facilities for 5 years, I can say that one cannot stop a truly determined person from ending their own lives. It is sad that such creative and intelligent people would want to harm themselves.
O noes! Did he dial-up?
*puts on Westerberg High t-shirt*
*plays “Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It)” by Big Fun on iPod*
*eats some pâté*
Heather?
lol…
its called a pun….. sheez, pond life here?
Personally I’m just glad to see that lunch will be served.
love that you gotta RSVP to a suicide meeting how many showed up?
When I was in 10th grade, two students killed themselves.
The first one i had a deepconnection with-a sweet young man of 15 who wrote poems and actually read a few to me. I was really wanting to ask him out, and never got the chance, as I was shy and put it off quite literally a day too late.
Anyone care to guess how hopeless and dark life seemed for a kid who had severe drug addictions? Often people endup addicted trying to self medicate and make themselves feel how everyone else looks in their eyes.
I can tell you from self experience that committing suicide is neither selfish nor does it have anything to do with other people and how it will make them feel. I have felt life would be easier for everyone if I were not in it, I felt I would be doing someone a FAVOR.
Don’t judge. You have no idea what sort of things someone may have been through. I have tried to commit suicide and reached out to a few people to stop myself. Its incredibly hard to make yourself GET help, ad you often feel alone, Isolated and are filled with a self hatred you have no idea about. These people are NOT themselves and very often CANNOT HELP IT due to chemical imbalances in the brain. It is a symptom of a disease called depression (among other diseases). To simply call these poor individuals selfish is down playing a very serious problem in our society today.
Photoshop fail
No, I can attest that this is real. It’s at St. Lukes Hospital in Maumee, Ohio. I, too, saw this on their computer monitors when my mom was in the hospital. I almost went to someone because I was so offended by it.
ugh, at least a hospital should not joke about these things. depression is not a thing to joke about. people die. people lose hope in the world. and a hospital is using it’s wording like that??? what kind of world is this, where people need help and get made fun of where they are supposed to get help?
Hemlock to be served?
you are dying to know about suicide..jeez
)
You literally are ‘Dying’ to know about suicide!