*feels the pressure of the inevitable*
I don’t know if I can keep up. The regulars are on here SO much!
I’d have to tear myself away from my FaceBook addiction . . .
I forgot about one of my WP accounts that, apparently, is linked to FailBlog, and not necessarily my OTHER WP account, which is my own blog.
BTW, I actually DID mean my “almost real name”.
Whatever . . . I think it’s working now . . .
*appears under zombie moderator and starts eating*
*doesn’t stop until he passes the skull*
Maybe this attempt will work …
♪♬His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils <BLEEPED> and his bottom burned off and his <BLEEPED>…♪♬
Screen doors + sunglasses + running = standing in the back yard holding bent metal that has lost its structural integrity and a mass of netting. Comes with a sound track of the hysterical laughter of the house’s owner.
I can just see a office, that they put up glass walls. And keep changing them around to different spots. That way the employees can’t memorize which are walls and which are doors.
Ya know how sometimes in large buildings, there are double doors, but there is a large bar dividig the space between the double doors? If you are in a hurry and not paying attention and somebody tells you something extremely shocking, (like coming out of the closet when you didn’t even know they were in there) you could possibly splat against that dividing bar. ~Not that I know from personal experience.~
*facedesk*
Sorry sorry. English class was always my weak point. Give me a car to fix, a house to remodel, a computer to repair. Those I can do.
Getting my spelling and grammer right? That is my constant Fail. Sometimes, I think I should have stayed in the Special Ed class for more than just my speech problems.
Well I once almost did the same thing at a local CompUSA. The exit was set up the same. They must of had lot of that happening, becouse the started stacking items in front of the windows.
That is actually a Comp USA near Portland. I worked there when the vid was taken about 6 or 7 years ago. It happened almost every time we took the posters down.
The INFJ? It stands for Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging. It is a Keirsey personality classification, if that means anything to you. When I was a caregiver instead of a caregiven I would do most anything to keep my brain functioning. Like taking online tests. Serious tests, not the What Jungle Cat Are You sort.
Yeah, a few. Little Girl Blue forced me to finally get an avatar, but it was BFFs info that got me there. I revealed my lurking a couple of weeks ago, but don’t know if I can be on here as often as you wild regulars are! I have a FaceBook addiction to tend to . . .
Gotta go to a F2F event right now, so, catch ya on the flip side!
*squeeze*
Wow…new and fascinating.
Hey, the sun shone today – that counted for a lot around here! Some snow actually melted! Unfortunately, another storm is due Monday-ish.
You?
Hey great news, failblog is giving malware links.
I tried to watch this video and I was blocked by Norton…
A fake antivirus, yes, you know those scare ware.
I’ll never click on a video from failblog, there not safe.
I guess the side door would not be placed there, or he didn’t know that the door was on the side. That really is a confusion.
(I would line up the door at the front and rear rather than on either side.)
This guy was my student teacher in a Spanish class. He told that if we behaved he would tell us about how he was “famous on the internet,” and this is why. His son found the video on ebaumsworld or something. He said felt no reason to draw attention to himself after he walked into the glass so he picked up his stuff and left like nothing happened. Classic.
This used to happen at my store about twice a month. Corporate even came in and put decals on it…that reduced it to about once a month.
A LOT of people come close, though…thankfully for society at large, most of them use advanced perception methods to determine that the glass sheet is NOT going to move out of the way, and stop before they hit it.
Why did it say “Psychic soldiers are having issues fitting in with normal society” at 34 sec? Is she (I think only woman can think of something like that after seeing a guy walking into glass) implying that this guy is a veteran of the psychic war? That’s almost any married guy is a veteran of the psychic war. LOL
lmao funny as it is the store should really think about maybe putting an advertisement or something thats jus a logical place for a door to be ….. i bet it happens all the time prolly a lil inside joke amoung employees haha
*faceglass*
splat
this video is fake and gay
So you’re saying it’s a happy lie?
I think it’s more like a Merry fib
Blissful deception?
Joyful Non-truth?
Ecstatic Fakery.
Humorous Hogwash?
(Wrong post, below . . . )
Gleeful aspersion?
Jocular illusion?
Perky fabrication?
Farcical falsehood?
Whimsical waggery?
C-C-C-Combo Breaker.
Pleasant prestidigitation?
hah. what is this failbook?
its actually real, hes a teacher at my high school and hes admitted to it
a CONVIVIAL DISINFORMATION
your joking right? i been to thisw store before and for 1 it happends all the time -.- its comp-usa -.-
you can see the glass shake
*windex*
*runs in naked grabs the windex and drinks it*
*starts putting clothes back on*
Thanks. Windex helps stop streaking.
*facepalm*
I don’t think you are supposed to drink it, you’re supposed to pour it on yourself.
Humorous Hogwash?
Sorry, wrong thread . . .
MarkSr, pretty please, with sugar and a cherry on top, please get an avatar and stay permanent-like, please?!?!?
*feels the pressure of the inevitable*
I don’t know if I can keep up. The regulars are on here SO much!
I’d have to tear myself away from my FaceBook addiction . . .
It’ll be worth it! Besides, you’re already a regular!
*glistening puppy dog eyes*
I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!
Glistening puppy dog eyes get me every time . . .
Oh, NO! My almost real name was displayed. I’ll figure this out yet!
It keys off your email, not your name.
I forgot about one of my WP accounts that, apparently, is linked to FailBlog, and not necessarily my OTHER WP account, which is my own blog.
BTW, I actually DID mean my “almost real name”.
Whatever . . . I think it’s working now . . .
Just for LGB, I put up my Avatar avatar.
*orders sign from signage shop*
*waits two weeks*
*receives package*
*plugs-in*
*sparkle*WELCOME, MARKSR!*sparkle*
*feels like part of the “in”crowd*
*hates being part of the “in” crowd*
*feels warm and fuzzy anyway*
Welcome, MarkSr!
Thanks again for gently handing over the bat earlier.
♫ Now walk it off ♫
lmfao
Maze glass!!
*glassfaced?*
friday rewind is LAME
just what FB puts up something we’ve already seen cuz there’s nothing else
Why so glum, gdfgdgdgdgdg? Did someone steal the rest of the letters from your keyboard? Do you need a hug?
It’s Friday!
*squeeze*
DOGGY PILE!!!!
*lands atop gdfgdgdgdg and LGB knocking them to the ground mid hug*
*mighty cuddlage happening here*
*looks at the pile*
I did not drop that here.
*walks away*
Oh, for — Jules! Stop that!
*pokes*
;[
Yay! A new fail is here! Yay!
And there was much rejoicing!
*drags the cuddle-puddle in from other fail*
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Hey, careful! Don’t make me drop my ice cream!
Don’t worry. There’s more.
*squooshes an ice-cream cone in Gracie’s face*
Wooohoohoooooooooooooo!
*runsawaywithaquickness*
*hands Gracie a ShamWow, and a sorbet trebuchet*
*cleans off her face*
*fires sorbet trebuchet at running dragon*
*SPLAT!!!*
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekie!!
Coldcoldcoldcoldcold!
*takes an aspirin for the ice-cream headache*
*hands DW a ShamWow, and a gelato mangonel*
*wipes ice cream splatter off face*
What’s with all the dairy air in here?
*giggles*
*builds fort out of ice cream sandwiches to hide behind*
Slightly OT, my “8 seats short of a majority” cousin, when confronted with the word “vendetta” asked, without any sense of irony;
“Isn’t vendetta a kind of Ice Cream?”
*snoffles as Gracie’s Fort slowly melts*
NOOOOOO! My beautiful fort!
*frantically starts eating the fort before it all melts*
*helps*
om nom nom nom nom nom OW!!
*runs in circles*
BrainFreezeBrainFreezeBrainFreezeBrainFreezeBrainFreezeBrainFreeze!
takes out vanilla bean gatling gun and makes a cheesy reference to some action movie
*fires up whipped cream gun*
*sprays whipped cream around blog indiscriminately*
*opens mouth and points to it…erm…pointedly*
*fires gelato mangonel at DW’s mouth*
I think I’m redefining “fast food”.
*throws an ice cream sandwich at Dragon’s mouth*
MMMPH!
Fngkyoo!
You’re an icy warlord aren’t you GS?
Did you remember to drag over my soft-serve machine?
ICE CREAM MACHINE!
*hides the trout*
*secretes the lemons*
Trout? Lemons? I had it set up for chocolate/vanilla swirl.
Oh, here it is.
Got it revved up – anyone fancy a cone?
Got any sprinkles?
Of COURSE I’ve got sprinkles!!!
*tops Scott’s cone with sprinkles of the most winter-be-gone sort*
Or you eat the kind that turns your tongue blue!
:p
Me, Me!!!
*Jumps up and down*
Okay, you, too, Blowfish!
*gives a big swirly*
Wooohooo!!!
*hears the joyful chiming of church bells*
REJOICE!!
Ooh, is this the part where we get to eat Sir Robin’s minstrels?
♬ Bravely bold Sir Robin
Rode forth from Cameloooooot ♬♬
♬ He was not afraid to die,
Oh Brave Sir Robin!
He was not afraid at all to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, Brave, Brave Brave Sir Robin! ♬♬
*growls menacingly at zombie moderator*
It’s the freakin’ Holy Grail for goodness sakes!
*thinks he knows which “bad” word did it*
*waits to see if the moderator lets it go or not*
Bite his legs off!
You’re inviiiincibleeee!!
*appears under zombie moderator and starts eating*
*doesn’t stop until he passes the skull*
Maybe this attempt will work …
♪♬His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils <BLEEPED> and his bottom burned off and his <BLEEPED>…♪♬
*suffers indigestion for doing that*
*tosses ZA some TUMS*
They don’t count as failpeeps, do they?
No, at last count, I don’t think we have any minstrels as failpeeps.
Chomp away, sweetie.
And if there are any, for ZA’s benefit they could always be bard.
Failtron
AWESOM-O is not programmed for that function.
I like that he just walks off very nonchalantly like nothing ever happened.
Hum-dee-dum-dee-dum…
*SPLAT*
Hum-dee-dum-dee-dum…
He’s been taking lessons from my cat.
Hehe — have you ever seen the George Carlin’s stand-up bit where he’s doin’ a kitteh impression:
*kitteh looks like he’s wheeling a wheelchair*
“Tried to make the chair from the lamp!”
“F*ckin’ meow!”
Hilarious!
Gotta love George C.’s stuff. I’ve read Brain Droppings from him as well.
I love his early stuff, before he just became an angry old man ranting on stage. But yah…brilliantly, brilliantly funny man.
And I’ve actually done this–*SPLAT!* right into a big piece of glass. I must admit, though…I hammed it up a little more than this guy did.
I’ve done it, too, but into a signpost.
The sign? “Stop ahead.”
It did.
I bounced off a screen door once. The sliding kind. In my defense it was dark out, and I really couldn’t see it.
A school friend walked head on into a lamppost a few years back.
He was too busy concentrating on his “Self-absorbed toy”
Ummmm… his what???
‘Twill make sense to those on the Ice Cream fail prior to this one.
Phone.
Not in anyway some variety of “gum massager”
*giggles*
Screen doors + sunglasses + running = standing in the back yard holding bent metal that has lost its structural integrity and a mass of netting. Comes with a sound track of the hysterical laughter of the house’s owner.
I have no defense. I walked into a giant door made of glass.
It was HIGH-larious.
*snork*
Couldn’t you have FOOMed your way through?
Didn’t we all?
*wonders if glass producers test their products by walking into them regularly*
I think they use Crash Test Dummies, thanks to “Health and Safety (Third)”
So that’s what that band has been up to lately.
That was my first thought as well. Have you been snacking on my brain while I’m not looking?
Who, me? No, never.
YOU TOO???
*squeeze*
I can just see a office, that they put up glass walls. And keep changing them around to different spots. That way the employees can’t memorize which are walls and which are doors.
My mother works at one of those…
Ya know how sometimes in large buildings, there are double doors, but there is a large bar dividig the space between the double doors? If you are in a hurry and not paying attention and somebody tells you something extremely shocking, (like coming out of the closet when you didn’t even know they were in there) you could possibly splat against that dividing bar. ~Not that I know from personal experience.~
*snickers knowingly*
nobody saw that…
<>
Never happened.
And, probally, never will.
What never will happen?
I have no idea what you are talking about…
Yes.
Definitely, maybe.
Affirmable, possibly.
Will there be blood?
I bet I could break through…
*makes running start*
*RUN, MGG, RUN!*
*hits glass*
*doesn’t go through*
…Mommy, the stars are shining so bright.
*films the attempt*
*submits it to Failblog*
But the cantelopes are not roling, Johnny…
this is lol
This is laugh out loud?
Do you mean this is funny?
This is one of the downsides to having X-ray vision.
But there are many upsides. So many…
Glass stands up to man
An impression of his face
Remains to this day.
Woohoo, LGB
*doesn’t don super sexy wet-looking bathing suit with more skin showing than bathing suit*
*holds up 10/10 card anyways*
*Squeeze*
*curtsies daintily*
Thank you! Thank you! No applause, just money!
*supersizesqueeze*
*
OvationDonation**pelts LGB with gold dollars*
*takes them out of the roll first*
*appears from underground with a sack of coins*
*isn’t sure where they came from*
*leaves them for LGB*
*snap, snap, snap*
Hats off to the person that cleaned the glass
A cleaning win.
Window didn’t break. Window win.
LGB says that to this day there is still and impression to this day.
Impressive.
*deletes d in a clever way*
I’m baaaaaaack!
It turns out I needed a new modem. AT&T came out and swapped out the old one for a new one and things are much finer now.
Welcome home little birdie!! You have been missed.
*squeeze*
I think I was going through internet withdrawal there for a bit.
*squeeze*
What’s ‘PYSCHIC’?
Glad I’m not the only one that caught that.
If I see another one of those ads telling me that it’s time for me to check out Failbooking, I’ll…
……….check out Failbooking?
JINX!
3B’s, 3B’s, 3B’s!!!!!!!
There was a bit of a lag there…
BoppityBoppityBopBooperyBoppityBopBoppingBopperyBoop?
Wait, that’s not right…
BoppityBopBopper BoppityBopBopper BoppityBopBopper.
Now, can you say that three times backwards?
taht taht taht.
*gives Jon a cookie and a gold star*
*claps*
…check out Failbooking?
Is it my !magination, or did today’s FAILS change order within the past hour?
It isn’t your ¡magination.
Why are they trying to confuse me on a Friday? That’s just mean.
*plays Twilight Zone theme*
*freaks out*
*goes to watch old ’80′s videos*
*freaks out even more, but sucks thumb while doing ir*
Sort of a literal “Friday rewind”?
It’s baaaaaack!
I think I’m a little scared now.
Don’t go into the light, Avis!
*is going to a movie later, but that doesn’t count does it?
*tosses an extra asterisk into above comment*
*builds an Obelisk*
*dips in growth potion*
As long as you’re not climbing into your TV, I think you’ll be fine.
I hope it was a good movie! (Say “hi” to R from us!)
Don’t go into that seemingly empty metal frame either!
. . . and that is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.
That’s why I split, babe.
I see you’ve been into the new learning.
The Rewind is Back!
*runs around*
Well, I could of told you that. But then I couldn’t of caught up on the comments.
*pulls out a remote control and hits rewind*
*runs around backwards*
…could HAVE…couldn’t HAVE…
Better me than NS or DW, trust me.
*facedesk*
Sorry sorry. English class was always my weak point. Give me a car to fix, a house to remodel, a computer to repair. Those I can do.
Getting my spelling and grammer right? That is my constant Fail. Sometimes, I think I should have stayed in the Special Ed class for more than just my speech problems.
Poor, Critter — we love you anyway!
*squeeze*
*stops twitching*
Just doing my duty to the Grammar Poice.
Completely OT: I hate trying to proofread print that’s small even through a magnifying glass.
Proofreading for lawyers?
She didn’t say electron microscope.
*snerk*
Indirectly, I suppose so. The smallest type on this piece is the disclaimer, though the whole piece was reduced to fit two pages on 11×17 paper.
It’s annoying.
*Gives blog a vicious kick*
Opera glasses.
*gives lawyers a vicious kick*
Sorry, I’m off the clock.
Why are there face prints on my window?
More importantly: Why did you leave a face print on my expensive Italian shroud?
Yeah, at least use soap when you wash.
Turin for it now!
Although it’s getting old and holy.
*worships, though incredibly shallowly, and will turn to new shrouds if/when they are released*
*waves a Prada shroud in Jon;s general direction*
Oooh!
*flounces after Prada shroud*
Well I once almost did the same thing at a local CompUSA. The exit was set up the same. They must of had lot of that happening, becouse the started stacking items in front of the windows.
That is actually a Comp USA near Portland. I worked there when the vid was taken about 6 or 7 years ago. It happened almost every time we took the posters down.
First!
*looks for the pink sparkly bat*
*hands Nightyshayde pink spikey bat*
Here . . .
Thanks.
*takes a deep breath*
*wonders if maybe she should give up violence for Lent*
But he lent you the bat.
Actually, I kinda just softly released it to her, . . .
It was more of a passover.
Oh this guy is good. We need to keep him about people.
Thanks Coyote!
*squeeze*
OK — my potentially violent moment has passed.
*props bat up in a corner in case someone else needs it*
I’m actually waiting to see myself in one of these videos on here some day.
Yeah. Keeps one humble and cautious.
That’s right, I said humble. That’s a preemptive retaliation.
Coyote! *squeeze*
Feeling any better?
So so. Should be better by next week.
How’s with you?
Pretty tired. It’s about to hit midnight, but I thought I’d say hello before going to bed.
Night.
Midnight! I’m on failblog time myself.
Pleasant dreams Jon. Write at you later.
Coyoteeeeeeee!!!!!!
*squeeeeeeeeeeze*
You must’ve heard my lament on a previous fail!
Just saw it a few minutes ago. Thanks!
I’m done with doctors for the weekend. WEEEEE!
I haven’t wanted to tie up the phone line during the day for when they call.
Oy! I figured the reason you hadn’t joined us during regular play hours was illness-related…
Nice to see you!
Pleasant to lay eyes on your avatar as well.
Squeeee! You’re such a literalist…
Care to translate your screen name acronym for me?
The INFJ? It stands for Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging. It is a Keirsey personality classification, if that means anything to you. When I was a caregiver instead of a caregiven I would do most anything to keep my brain functioning. Like taking online tests. Serious tests, not the What Jungle Cat Are You sort.
I’ve added it to my name to start conversations.
Oh, I just read it to mean you were in fudge.
Mission accomplished then since it got LGB to ask.
I got out of that field myself. I couldn’t detach emotionally enough.
ZA: actually the fudge is in me. I had a piece earlier today.
GS: It was my parents that I was caregiving for. Can’t walk away from that.
If there’s a better place for fudge to be (inside a warm person), I can’t think of it.
Well, maybe it’s not so great for the fudge though …
Melt the fudge and pour it on ice cream. That’s a pretty good place for it too. Of course that ends up inside me too.
The fudge WANTS to be inside you . . . why else would it be calling to you so much?
How are you doing these days, coyote?
@ MarkSr – I like your style.
I’m Judy. Nicetameetcha.
*curtseys*
*tips non-existent top hat*
Been lurking for years, and have enjoyed your comments, too, Judy. I finally decided to join in on the fun!
Welcome, then.
Have you met many others?
Yeah, a few. Little Girl Blue forced me to finally get an avatar, but it was BFFs info that got me there. I revealed my lurking a couple of weeks ago, but don’t know if I can be on here as often as you wild regulars are! I have a FaceBook addiction to tend to . . .
Gotta go to a F2F event right now, so, catch ya on the flip side!
*squeeze*
*gives MarkSr a cookie*
I like the Avatar!
Hello Judy! How’s with you? Anything new and fascinating?
Wow…new and fascinating.
Hey, the sun shone today – that counted for a lot around here! Some snow actually melted! Unfortunately, another storm is due Monday-ish.
You?
No snow, lots of sun and the flowers and trees are blooming.
he’s going to come back with a rock
admirable recovery though
this video has been on ebaumsworld under the name ‘dork vs glass’ for at least 6 years..
Ebaumsworld, eh? I wonder which site it originally came from…
I like how he just walks out like it doesn’t happen.
Okay, out of the last ten “Recent Comments” – - I’m eight of them???? In the words of PepsiCo, WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!!
I didn’t want to spoil your perfect run.
Whee! But it wasn’t perfect yet – it didn’t include you! Until now!
*squeeze*
Aww! You’re so sweet! *Jucy squeeze*
*adds a Jucy squeeze to the mix*
Sowwy I’m late.
Into the arms of Morpheus with me, but before I go..
*squeezes Judy, AA and DW*
I’m asleep on my, well, arse, and will be heading to sleep soon, too.
*goodnightfriendsqueezes*
(Morphearse?)
*goodnightsqueezestoall*
Hey great news, failblog is giving malware links.
I tried to watch this video and I was blocked by Norton…
A fake antivirus, yes, you know those scare ware.
I’ll never click on a video from failblog, there not safe.
There not? Thanks for letting us no!
Where is there?
There scare. There scare ware.
Why are we talking that way?
*shrug*
I thought you wanted to.
*squeeze*
Wait…wasn’t your hump on…the other side??
I thought you wanted to.
Damn damn damn! I must refresh quicker.
You’re not baudy enough.
I _bet this is a Staples store- damn them and their hidden exits!
Hidden exits are a staple of their store.
(Oh, that one was terrible!)
I guess the side door would not be placed there, or he didn’t know that the door was on the side. That really is a confusion.
(I would line up the door at the front and rear rather than on either side.)
i did that a couple of weeks ago at McD, but on my way in
@#$%ing invisible walls.
hah… Classic
Well, in his defense, they definitely could have designed the exit better.
the janitors deserve an applause for having the window so clean
This guy was my student teacher in a Spanish class. He told that if we behaved he would tell us about how he was “famous on the internet,” and this is why. His son found the video on ebaumsworld or something. He said felt no reason to draw attention to himself after he walked into the glass so he picked up his stuff and left like nothing happened. Classic.
This used to happen at my store about twice a month. Corporate even came in and put decals on it…that reduced it to about once a month.
A LOT of people come close, though…thankfully for society at large, most of them use advanced perception methods to determine that the glass sheet is NOT going to move out of the way, and stop before they hit it.
It’s that tiny minority that I worry about…
Why did it say “Psychic soldiers are having issues fitting in with normal society” at 34 sec? Is she (I think only woman can think of something like that after seeing a guy walking into glass) implying that this guy is a veteran of the psychic war? That’s almost any married guy is a veteran of the psychic war. LOL
silly man, you arn’t chuck noris
What are you people?
Thats COMPUSA!..haha i remember that tricky door
you’d think that after the door didnt start opening he would notice something.
Oops I gave him the wrong brain…….
-God
The real fail is this flash player, IT DON’T WORK
lmao funny as it is the store should really think about maybe putting an advertisement or something thats jus a logical place for a door to be ….. i bet it happens all the time prolly a lil inside joke amoung employees haha
that’s Windex for you ^^
wrong way man..try the other side
)