Love: You can either do it alone or with the sister of your choice.
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Disease-free, too!
Disease free? Not my sister!
… or did you mean the 2nd pic?
Yes. Oh, that reminds me! I looked this up for you. Cracks me up to this day:
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/10/01/crime-fighter-win/#comment-626160
Wow, I don’t even remember saying half the stuff I post.
*nods*
You’re much more articulate than you look.
Hey! Actually, I’m OK with that…
ROFL!!!
Get your butt over here and clean up my monitor!!
Wouldn’t a ShamWow be more absorbent?
It would but MRN is doing the cleaning. I say he should choose.
If Leila feels like an ass who am I to disagree?
Hmmm… I wonder if there is a market for ShamWow jammies…
. . . and comforters?
Are you hoping he meant “some” instead of “an”?
Yeah, are you?
I’m not sure which would be worse, treating a girlfriend like a sister, or treating a sister like a girlfriend!
Somehow I’ve never thought of the two as being equivalent!
O-kay!?!
See, the difference is my references aren’t real.
How does that work?
You mean you make stuff up?
I don’t understand.
Are you in the market for one?
Help me out – I hate navigating around eBay.
If you want a Sista, then she could very well be a Girlfriend!
Sold in convenience stores all over the south.
Actually it is from England… They are more strange than we first suspected…
Well, that billboard is true…
…but its also a lot less fun. It would be like saying “McD’s is better than a nice barbecue restaurant because McD’s is cheaper.”
Interesting analogy, but I agree with you, nonetheless.
You can have a cheese sandwich, but a grilled cheese sandwich is always better.
Do you put mayo on yours, Jules?
No, it’s best to leave it out.
Why you certainly are full of energy today Jules!
*nerdysnicker*
I know this has gotten misconstrued somewhere along the line, but a grilled cheese sandwich is a BJ. It doesn’t really work the other way. We need a different name for that one.
I have no idea, the whole grilled cheese sandwich thing came from one of those advice column sites, the advisor couldn’t bring herself to use the words “blow” and “job” together so she called it a grilled cheese sandwich. The comments for that site where HYSTERICAL that day.
Have you guys heard of Steak and RH Day? It’s the male version of valentines day, celebrated on March 14th. Check out my clickie (SFW).
Never heard of it until today, but practice it at least a couple times a month…
Nice. I “practice” for it a few times a week, but on March 14th my wife will be involved too.
Aaaaaand there goes another spray of coffee on my monitor…
*gigglesnorksqueeze*
Ummm, Do you own a viper Starfish?
I hadn’t heard of this holiday til I was hired to work on a website for it. Check out the tshirts they’re selling…they’re pretty cool.
I’m guessing what I usually end up with would be called an open-faced sandwich?
Do you put gravy on yours, MRN?
I’ve never been asked that before.
I’m glad I was the first.
Really? But your fine was so high!
I didn’t say I’ve never done it, just that no one’s ever asked first.
Why do these comments entertain me so much?
Because they’re witty and full of style?
*runs off to update out-of-style wardrobe*
*uses Marius’
stolenborrowed card*Why are you stealing Marius’ card Ms B?
*Checks wallet*
Hooray!
*Looks for third job*
Don’t forget naughty.
*superfridaysqueezes*
*superduperfridaysqueezes*
Lunchtime, Starfishy?
You bet. One hour of bliss bookended by 4 hours of bullsh!t.
lol you totally got that from that coin blog.
XP
Less fun? Not according to John Mayer in his Playboy mag interview.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but: Reference to the interview ran in the Hartford, CT newspaper a few days ago. He’s coming to the place I work in a few days, and I’ve been trying to get tix for a friend of mine and the story caught my attention.
*boops MRN on the nose for missing my joke*
sowwy… I’m out of practice.
I read that article. It merely confirmed for me the fact that John Mayer is an incredible douche and has a major Peter-Pan “I don’t want to grow up” complex.
I cannot stand that man. Blech.
I’m hoping the article frees up some tickets for my friend’s sake – and that she doesn’t see the article.
He realy said that? He is a douche.
*quickly tosses l up to his comment*
Hey look, something shiny over there. VVV
Thanks, you just saved me the trouble of looking it up.
Trolls have bards?
Naw, he only reads it for the articles.
Thanks sis! That’s the answer I was waiting for.
*squeeeeeeeze*
My pleasure!
*squeeeeeeeze*
Playboy mag has INTERVIEWS?!?
I sometimes listen to the Playboy channel on Sirius and I gotta say I feel a little embarrassed for doing so.
Why for how come, sweetie Leila?
It’s just so naughty and I am not even a prude. Man, I just have issues, don’t I?
*makes a therapist appointment*
You’re not a prude — you’re modest. Big difference…
And fun don’t forget fun!
*nods*
Yes. And fun. Very, very fun.
*scratches Jules’ tummy*
*squeeze*
Why would anyone ever go to a “nice” BBQ restaurant? The good food’s not there!
Methinks you’ve never been to Wood Ranch.
There’s a place called “Rattlers” near us that is super-yummy. Their tri-tip & their garlic rolls are to-die-for.
Or Rudy’s in Albuquerque.
Oh man…I miss Rudy’s.
Where is it?
ht tp://books.google.com/books?id=8ueQbpi5fvAC&pg=PA175&lpg=PA176&dq=calvin+trillin+barbecue+joints&source=bl&ots=56K_dA3sQ2&sig=uzPbx_ZiKQYlFqKCnlBrXCBOxlA&hl=en&ei=hZp1S4SyBtWy8Qa62NihCg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6&ved=0CB4Q6AEwBQ#v=onepage&q=&f=true
Wow, that’s one long URL.
Is this it? Feeding a Yen: Savoring Local Specialties, from Kansas City to Cuzco By Calvin Trillin
Yes! Calvin Trillin is on of my all-time favorite authors. Writing about food is just one of his passions.
I LOVE Calvin Trillin!!
I’ve not read that. I’ll check it out…
Also, both are places where you can get a burger. But the burger at the barbecue place will be a lot better.
The small stuff on the side of the road always tends to have better bbq. *nods wisely*
… Unless they’re actually BBQ’ing the small stuff on the side of the road.
Maybe even then it’s better.
[Homer]Mmmmm —- squirrel…[/Homer]
A free hat with every meal purchased.
“Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? “
It looks good on you though.
The other white meat.
‘taint so white after a few cars rolled over it.
Oh, that’s just the tenderization process.
I doubt you want to talk about taints and road kill in the same paragraph.
*slow, sad head-shake*
*mind in gutter*
Is your mind ever anywhere else?
*squeezeMyFavHumanQuadruped*
1.Sick
2.True
3.Safety
4 Profit
No, no, no…. It’s
1.Sick
2.True
3.Safety
4. ????
5.Profit
I know, I pushed enter before realizing my mistake.
Turn in your /. and geek cards now. lol
Please turn in your red stapler, too.
Don’t move his desk again!
*start a fire in the basement*
*walks out the door*
Fitting, for the Friday before Valentines day.
♪♫ Love stinks! Yeah yeah! ♫♪
Not a big fan of St. Hallmark’s Day myself.
Me too neither.
*sigh*
Well, I’ve made myself clear on FB2 re. the day.
There should be a mass protest of this ‘stoopid’ day. My hubby buys me flowers throughout the year he shouldn’t be forced to do it again on ‘V’ day because St Hallmark itselfs deems it so.
And all the stoopid ads on TV! They only reinforce the farce!
I just don’t understand how anyone can truly appreciate an offering that is only prompted by obligation and a desire to not get “in trouble”.
Because they’re conditioned to think that if he DOESN’T get them something, he doesn’t love them.
Give them herpies, the gift that keeps giving.
LOL. My husband came to me on Monday evening and said:
“A commercial told me I have to get something for you for Valentine’s Day. It said you’d say you don’t need anything, but that you’d be lying. Granted, it was a cell phone company & I am not going to get you a cell phone — but I don’t want to be a heel.”
I laughed & told him he is not a heel, but that a card would be nice.
And by card you mean you laying on the bottom and him on top and an expression of love in-between?
What’s the postage on THAT?!
USPS’s new motto: “If it fits it ships.”
No — I really mean a card.
We’ve already done that other thing this year. More than once, even.
*does double-take*
It’s a DOUBLE-FAIL!
Double your pleasure.
Double your fun.
*looks @ Marius and LGB*
*Looks at Leila and LGB*
*looks @ Leila and Marius*
So. . .this doesn’t mean I have to get a butterfly tat, does it?
*looks @ Leila*
*shrugs*
This weird family moment brought to you by…………….FB.
And. . . Hey!
The official snack food of the reindeer games!
So, is that anything like adoption?
Only if you’re Woody Allen.
*Snickers*
Or Ted Nugent.
B.o.b. can’t give me shiny necklaces.
Someone’s been lurking for awhile!
*confusion*
It’s a fairly common name.
That is not cool and I am :[
*poke*
*tickle*
I am cool and that is not :[
I know you are but you don’t flaunt it.
*squeeeeeze*
*goes to wash off goo*
Just in case the moderator doesn’t forgive me for ripping out its jugular earlier, we’ll retry that and make the reference a clickie instead …
Anyone know how long I’ve been misspelling my own name like that? I noticed it at the end of the day last night and was only reminded of it when I noticed a news article that misspelled apocalypse similarly (I don’t think it was the journalists fault though, the mistake might belong to someone else – clickie clickie!!).
Wow, talk about brain dead.
Maybe I’m the one who’s brain dead, sweetie — I don’t see the problem..(?)
I really never noticed. I thought you did that on purpose anyway ZA. I mean look @ LGB’s name, the pixels are all wrong and photoshopped. We don’t bring it to her attention because we think she likes to be different and we love her for it.
*SqueezeZA n LGB*
Apocaplyse rather than Apocalypse
I never noticed.
*SNORK!!*
I never did, either!
You don’t suppose they’re going to revoke our proofreading and grading licenses, do you??
I have nothing to worry about because I am not a professor.
*runs far away from DW*
I think it’s an interesting psychological mini case-study. It shows that we read what we expect to read or see what we expect to see.
*blink*
Pssst…guys…why would Leila think I’d be offended by the fact that she’s not a professor??
*gooses Leila as she runs past*
*nods*
Yes. Just like the meme that when someone writes words backwards or leaves out vowels — you can still read it because your mind has been trained.
Oh, for —-
I never noticed, either!
I don’t think any of us did!
I did, at first, I just thought he wanted it that way.
Aww, don’t worry about it – it’s not the end of the world.
*snerk*
I see what you did there.
Armageddon his meaning too.
It’s fairly blatant though. I mean it’s hidden neither under Ragnarok.
Or pearl ones.
Or a facial and massage.
EW! *shudders*
I wish men would keep that sh!t to themselves.
Not true, that’s a special attachment, you pay more for that though.
Please tell me you’re kidding! PLEASE!! Lie if you have to!
*in her best truthful voice* Nu-uh of course not!
♪ So why on earth should you moan, ’cause when you get Bob alone
You know you feel okay . . .♪
The first one some kind of cult recruitment book.
How many of you already visited the site on the second pic?
I don’t need to visit the site. I live close to this place. I’ve even gone in there. I had a friend that worked there for about 3 weeks. I think she stayed in a permanent blush the whole three weeks.
We shop Secrets all the time, great staff – fun products. Great way to have a little fun before having a little fun!! It just sucks when you see your boss in there as well. I guess we’re all human
And your boss is buying a blow-up sheep and a gallon of Baconlube.
Hey, bosses are humans with needs too.
*is reminded of a trip with her staff to a ‘toy’ shop*
Where do you work?!
Heeeee!! This was about 7 years ago. I had two friends and they so happened to report to me. Weird, I know. The best thing about our relationship, we were able to draw a fine line between our friendship and work relationship.
Once we hang out outside of work, I was no longer their supervisor. What happened outside stayed outside.
hxxp://www.amazon.com/Girlfriend-Sister-You-Choose-Little/dp/0883969602
It’s cheaper, but lonelier.
♪♫ One is the loneliest number! ♫♪
I disagree. I think 3 is the worst number. Being the odd one out when there is a couple get’s really weird sometimes.
*agrees*
*agrees to the agreeal*
*sees the agreeal and raises ascent*
*see the agreeal and raises and angreal*
*drinks some sangria*
You’re gonna make some girl a great boyfriend one of these days!
*squeeze*
Aw, shucks. Thanks, Avis!
*Squeeze*
No walk of shame though.
Why should one be ashamed of it?
The level of shame is totally dependent on the amount of alcohol consumed the night before.
I dunno, I have consumed lots of alcohol when at the boyfriends place and not been ashamed the next morning. At least, not about what was done.
That’s because he’s your boyfriend, not your boyfriends best friend.
Good point. VERY good point!
You can still have the walk of shame. *smirk*
I had a friend. He was a cab driver who was 6’3″, about 350 lbs. and from Texas. Plus, he was queer as a three dollar bill. Well, he was feeling frisky one day so he stopped at one of those places and got a little “bob” to…..erm……enjoy that day while he was out and about. He stopped at a 7-11 after……inserting(?) bob. All was well until he sneezed. Apparently, sweat shorts won’t hide bob when he decides to pop out for a quick hello. He had to pick it up and leave. THAT is a walk of shame.
\
Oh my…I take that back.
I wouldn’t take it back after he used it if I were you.
My stomach just did back flips.
Judges score…..
5.8…………5.8…….. 5.9……….3.2………. 5.6
The Russian judge is a real jerk.
Absolutely true story. Russian judge must have been the father of the little boy standing in line behind my pal.
*giggles madly*
There aren’t enough
s for me to show my 
! I am just … 
!!!! 
It’s funnier than I can describe. My pal was raised in an VERY wealthy family and educated in an Ivy League school. I can only picture it and try to keep from peeing myself as I laugh like a lunatic.
*has no idea what bob means*
*goes to urbandictionary*
Well, a potato can be used as a battery.
Friends don’t let friends use the UD!
Battery Operated Boyfriend
You know some interesting people!
To say the least.
I’m aware that I tend to collect the oddity prone.
Hey, it makes for a great way to learn things, from what other people do!
Oh yes. Most of my friends serve as a warning in some manner.
My question is: why would you walk around with bob up your bum?
Apparently some folks enjoy it. I do not understand this either.
Oh, Leila.
*pat pat pat*
I’ll tell you when you’re older.
That’s gonna be a looooooong time then and I am perfectly okay with that.
*squeeze*
Can someone tell me what I said? Cuz I have NO idea. :[ly.
Oooooooooooh!!
*stifles lol*
The thrill of being caught? I’m guessing its not so exciting when you actually do get caught though.
I’m guessing it would be less uncomfortable than a potato.
Maybe the lack of potato is the reason it got such a low score from the Russian judge?
“So that’s where that went. I was wondering.”
Lonesomer than Crusoe’s goat?
Actually that first slogan is true.
I drive by that very billboard every day, but it wasn’t until my gf saw it that we went in. Turns out it actually just makes dating more expensive.
You think dating is expensive, wait until you hit wedding costs, who knew a stupid dress could be over a grand?
My daughter’s dresses cost me $300 and $500. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on the dress unless you really want to.
My dress was $700 but with all of the accessories came out to around $1100. The wedding was fairly cheap though, we had the reception in my mothers back yard. Nothing like a backyard kegger to scream red neck wedding.
How many shotguns were involved?
Did you have the Hostess Twinkie and DingDong cake? No? Then it’s really more of a pink-necked shindig.
My friend’s mom made my dress. All together it cost me under $100, and I looooooove that dress!
Now you tell me?
Whose idea was it that the bride’s family pays for the wedding? Whose?
The groom’s family.
It’s tradition, dating way, way back. It’s that same tradition that the engagement ring is based on.
Actually, it was due to the fact that women were only considered good for cementing political or financial ties between men. They were unable to earn money for themselves, therefore, the men they married were taking responsibility for their care. It’s sort of the same thing as the tax credit for having a child. Only it’s paid by the girls family instead of the government. It just morphed into the bride’s family paying for the wedding. I think.
Meh work.
Trade you.
What do you know of stresses in a vessel head 9000MW reactor?
If you cross the streams it goes *BOOM*?
Aim away from the eyes? Give it a Valium?
The point is not to make things go boom.
Boom in my industry is not good, not good at all.
42?
*burns incense*
I’m incensed by that!
*intense squeeze*
*is incensed*
My lack of refresh really makes me mad.
*enrolls Scotty in Refresh Course*
(Just make sure it isn’t a “Rephresh” course!)
You have to pass the acid test at the end of that course.
Cheaper… A win if there ever was such a thing….
You must be a WalMart shopper.
I’m sure you and your hand will have a happy life together.
*ahem*
That would be “complex”.
Where is that bukkit?
*pats birdy gently*
*hands her tiny bukkit*
*dunks head in tiny bukkit*
“Copmlex” sounds like Mr. Luthor became an officer of the law.
Ok not really.
You should make and outline of two lips around their foot prints.
At least it was foot prints and not yellow snow.
It’s a word, not an !mage.
Oh. Em. Gee.
My head hurts.
*crawls into a dark corner*
Poor kitteh!
It’s all the reading, sweetheart! Take a break from the blog!
It’s not the blog. This migraine has been trying to take over since late Monday night. I’ve been holding it at bay with drugs, but I guess it’s had enough waiting.
*whimper*
*gentlesqueezes*
Go home, it’s Friday anyway.
I may do that after I finish proofing the piece I’m proofing right now. However, my boss is going somewhat nutso over another project (trying to figure out international travel & tourism patterns for South Africans) & I’ve been having trouble pulling information. I’ve tried different Google searches & keep coming up with information about South African inbound tourism rather than outbound. I probably should find something useful before I go home.
NS. I get those awful things too. I know it will sound strange, but have you tried breathing in a paperbag? I’m not sure how or why, but it seems to help a little.
Hmmm. I may have to try that.
It has not been a constant headache this whole time has it?
It’s been coming and going — I was pleasantly surprised yesterday that it didn’t roar back when my meds wore off. Today, though, the meds didn’t help much. Fluorescent lights at work definitely do not help.
Yes, I am sure it is the lights that are the biggest problem.
*spikes NS’s coffee with dragon-strength anti-migraine meds*
*gentle squeeze*
*squeeze*
You’re the best dragon ever!
On a happy note, the Cottage Pie I made last night came out really well. Comfort food – I has it.
I learned yesterday that it’s “Shepherd’s Pie” if made with lamb, and “Cottage Pie” when made with beef.
Oh, yummmmmmmmmmmm!!!
Shepherd’s Pie is my favorite, but I do love a good Cottage Pie on a cold, wintry night.
Hmm. I have some venison in the fridge. I wonder if I could whip up some “Hunting Lodge Pie” or some such thing with it!
I’m sure you could. Meat + veggies + potatoes — how can you go wrong?
GAD!! The famous last words…………What could go wrong?!!
Run Dragon, Run!!!
Relationships are expensive.
too much posting here, back to work guys!
*thwacks teh cat every so gently*
FUGEDABOUDIT!
I love you LGB. I really do. Every once in a while I forget how wonderful you are and then you say something perfectly wonderful and I say to myself, Bopper (that’s what I call me when I talk to myself), That LGB sure is lovable.
*squeeze*
*snork*
Thank you for the self narrative.
*sistasqueezies3Beezies*
Love you too, Angel.
Failblog: brings love and hapiness to your stuffy office since 2008
The first pic is reading comprehension fail. It obviously is referring to when woman call their female friends “girlfriends”
Buzz-kill.
Aye. I was skimming all the comments to find someone to point out that it’s not a fail at all, because that’s probably in the “For Friends” section of cards. Since as Mitegai said, it’s meant for Girls to give to their Girl Friends.
Wow. You all are the type of people that have to have the joke explained to them before they laugh huh?
~You must be the life of the party in your ‘hood.~
Thank you! I was going to post something like this if no one else had.
The first one is taken out of context it’s supposed to be girlfriend as in two women who are friends though taking out of context is funnier
ok the first one isnt a fail its refering to a female and another female friend called a girlfriend in a platanic sense
I pass by the billboard in the second one like every day! We ALWAYS laugh at it =)
Haha, that billboard is on the corner of Evans Ave and Colorado Blvd in southeast Denver.
lol thats the one!!!!
To be honest? Billboard Win. It’s not only cheaper, but far more fun and way less hassle/drama/stupid than dating.
My interpretation of the first one is that its for 2 friends who are girls, for one to give to the other. I actually wondered why it was on here
…the other interpretation didn’t even cross my mind until I came and read the comments 
.
omg i drive by this sign every day!
loolll I always see that billboard. I never really thought much of it until now.
Win Win Win!
How is that billboard Fail???
Billboard is funny.
First one isn’t, as girlfriend is often used by women to refer to their women friends.
unfortunately, the store itself is really skeezy. fascinations is better, imo.
Word.
I’ve seen that sign! I wish they’d come up with a better ad slogan. It’s been there for a long time.
Secrets?
Oh no…it’s MEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Billboard: Honesty Win
Southeast corner, intersection of S. Colorado Blvd. and Evans Avenue, baby!
Oh, Denver. <3 I see this every day on my way home from university, and I always get a giggle. Fascinations is better, though. Less creepy, better atmosphere, and so very family-oriented — it's right next to an Applebee's and a Target.
And a strip club.
Totally Agreed! W00t Facinations! W00t Shotgun Willies!
Haha yes, right above the ya hala grill. I live like right by that place.
this bill bord is from denver first clue quebec street 2nd clue mile high outdoor
Most things are.
Omg Quebec has it’s street in the U.S.?
I feel special 8D
Ha! I know exactly where that sign is, I drove by it last week…Colorado supports FAIL BLOG =)
Colorado loves failblog, I always could tell. :]
I see this sign all the time when I drop my friend off at her house.
I always die laughing, and then yell “FAIL!”
I drive by this sign on the way to school–recently, they’ve changed it for Valentine’s Day to “this year, say it with batteries”
fail.
The secrets sign is in Colorado xD hahaha
that second one is in colorado at the corner of evans and colorado blvd isnt it
this is a FAIL