Slalom Skiing Fail
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Epicute
talk about getting shafted..
Old video is FREAKIN’ OLD.
That’s gotta hurt!
Skier goes boom?
Family jewels go boom.
There goes the family…or not..
I could only appreciate this one so much since I had to watch it with no sound. I share an office with one other person, and she NEVER leaves her desk. How can I get her to leave long enough so I can watch with sound?
Set her desk on fire.
Desko Inferno!! ♪
*gigglesqueeze*
*gracieSqueeze*
I recommend you invest in a headphones.
Um…okay.
*purchases headphones*
Now what?
Wait for the market to rise.
That’s sure to be sound advice.
Right, like that wouldn’t be obvious that I was trying to do something non-work related.
Watch on a lunch break, when you aren’t (really) on the clock. Is she a supervisor? Or just that much of a snitch?
No, I’m actually kind of her pseudo-supervisor, but I don’t want it to be blantantly obvious that I’m slacking off too much.
Tell her there’s pizza in the breakroom.
half a dozen taco bueno party burritos ought to do the trick
Tell her there’s a stripper in the lobby who’s wearing a firefighter costume.
*runs to lobby to check*
Quick! Turn up the volume!
*stomps back into the office*
Hey! I thought you said- What are you watching?
She still hasn’t gone. I swear, I think she is hooked up to a catheter so she can use every precious second to remain at her desk.
Just maybe she is waiting and saying the same thing about you.LOL. Like her name could be hint (Ms B.,Say g’night Gracie,LGB,Liela, etc….)
That would be ironic, but I’ve been away from my desk several times in the past two hours. Every time I come back, she’s still fricking there!
I could only appreciate this one so much since I had to watch it with no sound. I share an office with one other person, and he NEVER leaves his desk. How can I get him to leave long enough so I can watch with sound?
Unfortunately, some people seem to hang around even though they’ve been given the hint they’re not welcome.
*sigh*
*shakes head*
Sometimes more than a hint….
It was more than direct.
I can tell you from experience that if you are looking a little pale (maybe grayish) and you walk over there and start eating her, she will run screaming.
Problem is she’s likely to return with 10 of her best armed friends and they won’t listen to reason.
Unless she is in to that sort of thing.
He probably means that everyone likes to be eaten.
Hmm..?
*drops cookie on the carpet, munches it anyway*
Three-Second Rule.
That doesn’t really apply if you drop it on the carpet the doggie just peed on…
Judy… I think they were implying a different carpet entirely!
They flying one from Aladdin?
*hopeful look*
Oh…oh my goodness.
*laughs hard enough to hurt herself*
Judy, you just made my day!!
*sissqueeze*
Went over my head too, sweets.
*looks all confused*
Then why aren’t failpeeps food?
Because then you’d be stuck with trolls for company.
*snork*
Failpeeps aren’t food! The very thought!
.
Failpeeps are delicacies.
*tastes*
Yup.
*giggles*
That tickles!!
*squeeze*
He has my deepest sympathies. Ouch.
Ah, something else. All the men are cringing…
And the women are…no, that would be mean. We aren’t laughing.
*covers mouth with hands*
*dashes around corner*
You really have NO idea.
The descent of man ended rather abruptly.
Arrested development.
Aw, didn’t mean to be insensitive. You know I’m nuts for you, Arthur.
*squeeze*
All is good.
It’s just really, REALLY incredible pain. Take an electric shock, add a strong punch to the solar plexus, plus fierce toothache and transfer all of that to the genital area – and you’re not even close.
It’s like someone punching you really hard in the boob. Or so I hear I still want to meet the person who can verify that study… hurm….
I rollerbladed down a hill before I knew how to stop. I was stopped by a tree. I had bone bruises down the left side of my rib cage -yes, EVERY single rib on that side, including the ones under the “extra padding”. It hurt. It REALLY hurt. But cramps hurt worse than that did.
I’d really rather not !magine it, if you don’t mind.
*squeeze*
Well, if you’ve ever had a … mishap, shall we say, with a bicycle crossbar, you might have experienced this kind of pain…
See my post above.
I think women who suffer cramps bad enough to cause vomiting and fainting can sympathize with that particular kind of pain.
Oh…and *SQUEEEEEZE!!*
There are some things men work hard to intentionally forget. You aren’t helping.
As a kid I once jumped into a shot to prevent a goal against my team. I wouldn’t do that again.
*winces in sympathy*
I see you!!
Hope things are going well for you. Great to see you back, even if it’s only temporary.
only a few more minutes, than I have to go. Did you see my post below?
I have to go, friend me on facebook if you have an account. Jess Davis Quakertown, PA. If any of you other failpeeps want, you can friend me too. Myspace deleeted my account, so I don’t have you guys anymore.
*squeezy abstract*
ZOMG!! Here she was and there she goes!
*tries to throw in a squeeze @ abstract*
*squeeze sis*
*catches squeeze, tosses back a sqaweeze*
*squeeze*
I looked her up on FB2 — no sala.
Me too.
Well, there’s someone who has no fear of crazy stalkers outside her bedroom window!
no fear at all!! I am frealess…sans fear
you couldn’t find me? hmmm. i will go search myself brb
ok, I think it will work now, I cahnged some settings
*changed
Nope. Still nothing, sweetie.
and apparently illiterate in general lol
Would it help if you found me? Look for Leila Renato.
Poor baby! Dunno what’s wrong. I’m a FB2 newbie myself. I’ve got a better idea. You search for me, k?
LittleGirl Blue
No space in the first name. Then, I’ll “share” you with everyone else…
NUTS!
BALLS!
Fail. That’s not slalom. In slalom there’s only one pole on each flag.
Thank you for letting us know cuz I have no clue.
Well, he came over the rise, and it all went downhill from there …
~Well in that case it’s not funny at all.~
So, if there’s two Poles, it’s Shalom?
I thought there is just one pole and nuts on each side.
Well apparently Jesper is special.
Seven for shalom.
And how many nuts?
Guess two. But no foreskin.
Pfft! Never mind, then.
it’s giant slalom
*watches townspeople run in terror from giant slalom*
Damn those nuke tests! As if a regular slalom isn’t fierce enough – now it became the Giant Slalom, tentacles and everything.
*shudders*
But, I thought the tentacles got hurt on the pole…?
And now it’s a Three-Toed Giant Slalom.
seems more like super-g for me
it looks more like super G or downhill.
Well, there’s no flags on the single poles in slalom, but you are correct about the number of poles. This is most likely downhill rather than slalom, giant slalom, or super G.
It’s gs or super-g, there’s only one colour flag in downhill
It’s the only way he’d slow down.
Darn skiers and their darn speed skiing!
*shakes fist*
Get the hell off my slope!
*shakes fist*
I know your dad!
Ri-i-i-ight. Like he’s going to let you on her slope!
Ha! No, it’s what one of the old neighbors used to yell at us when we were kids.
You must have had a scary dad!
I know I had a scary dad! Every kid on the block was afraid of him!
That’s not slalom skiing…that’s downhill skiing. Failblog fail.
That’s not slalom skiing, that’s salmon skiing!
I think it’s sausage skiing
Knockwurst?
Well, it did get knocked, and I’m sure it’s the wurst thing that happened to him that day, so….Yes.
Probably blotwurst to.
*quickly tosses o up ^*
You ‘merkins spell it “blootwurst”?
Doon’t you?
We just take one ‘u’, makes the same sound for us.
Sounds like a horse?
Yep!
Poor horse!
Of course, of course.
So long as it doesn’t taste like a horse …
FISHYYYYYYYY!
*pouncetacklesqueeze*
Probably got some cold cuts from that…
Lol. You’re such a ham, LGB!
Mayo have a squeeze, too?
*squeezes some mayo on Judy*
*click*
*picklesqueeze*
*squeezes with relish!*
Lordy, it’s difficult to ketchup on all these posts!
*squeeze*
Oh, bologna!
How cheesy!
Seriously, I never sausage-a brilliant comment!
Naw, I was just loafing around…
Fine, I’ll meat you in the middle.
Chorizo cute, hongito!
But….if it’s salmon skiing, wouldn’t they be going uphill?
*snerk*
Only if they were intending to spawn.
I’m not sure he can do that anymore, not after that!
Hmmm. Now I’m hungry for seafood.
I seafood and eat it.
Which, if that had been his intent, it adds another layer to the fail.
Oh, I love a fail with hidden meanings!!!
Ok, let me see if I can find the teacup. Oh, you said meanings, not hidden pictures. My bad.
Found it! Those two girls over there have it.
Oh…oh dear. I wish it would have stayed hidden.
Wow … I didn’t know you could DO that with a teacup…
:ick:
They can keep it.
Uh oh!
No, this is Super G. *facepalm*
I could easily be drunk by now.
If I was drunk, I’d be easy, too.
“I bought my girlfriend a book for her birthday. It’s called Cheap and Easy Vegetarian Cooking. Which is ideal, because not only is she a vegetarian … .” – Jimmy Carr
A glass of water once told me that was a very unpleasant experience.
Yes, but in any case, a pangalactic-gargle-blaster sounds pretty good right about now…
*wraps a gold brick in a slice of lemon and whacks Ferme upside the head with it*
You’re welcome!
*Faints*
*thwack*
nocon!
*squeeze*
Nicetacya!
Yep! You too!
Nice to see I am remembered despite being here so sparingly!
*polecrotch*
flag win
Never ski without protection.
I don’t think there’s enough protection in the world for that not to hurt.
A cup in time saves thine.
Wow, that’s good. You should, like, have that printed on napkins and stuff.
Business idea, bro?
So this dude is all like slalom skiing downhill and stuff, dressed for competition. He zigs, he zags, he’s really hauling when he approaches the next gate after a small drop that gets him light on his feet to say the least. Guess where one of those flexible poles smacks him. We hear something that sounds like the crowd groaning in disappointment, but it’s the poor skier who is now protecting his jewels – a little late. We even get a slow motion replay so we can savor the moment, or pity him more. The slow motion sound of his groan still sounds like a disappointed crowd.
Some generic poster makes an unremarkable comment and cue the bicycle guy and the lightning. DOT ORG!
I wated to tell you what it was that had me thinking of you. My boyfriend is working on a film for Chiller’s “Dare to Direct” contest. It involves zombies. Hey, do you have a Face book, I’d love to friend you.
I don’t, FaceBook scares me silly. I might have to reconsider this though, I’ve had this handicap of mine brought to light repeatedly recently (relatives and failpeeps both). Should I do so, I promise to let everyone know.
Please tell me you’ve seen Zombieland. If not, try to go rent it soon (it’s out on DVD now, my roommate has it on Blue-ray). It’s a little gory (aren’t most zombie flicks?), but funny as hell. Near the end of the flick, I’m even mentioned by name!
I just watched it last week and I totally thought of you when they said your name. Great movie.
I watched it on Saturday. Funnier than I thought it would be. I thought of you while we were watching it. I don’t remember them mentioning your name, I must have been distracted. I’ll have to watch it again.
You know that you can stay anonymus on Facebook?
I know people BELIEVE that, yes. Am I convinced? Not really. Remaining anonymous on a social networking site kinda feels like expecting privacy while streaking downtown.
I just need to get over my abject fear and go check it out. Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean there isn’t some nutcase out there that would be able to hack that site enough to Google me and wind up outside my bedroom window some night. I don’t fear what would happen then, I fear trying to defend myself in court afterward.
I feel you (from a distance), ZA. I’m anonymous on FB2 — for the same reason. But, I just couldn’t stand not being able to have an alternate contact for my FPs, so I HAD to create an account.
The Admiral and Dragon forced me to join. I’ll blame them in court.
Sorry, that won’t hold up, Arthur. Everyone knows it’s your fault.
Teehee!!
And ZA…I’ve been Googled many, MANY times. Nothing bad has ever happened to me because of it. In fact…a few very good things have happened as a result.
*squeeeze*
how can i find you?
*spies on ZA*
HEY! This is my window! You get the other side of the house!
LOL, I havebeen trying to rent it for weeks now. I only rent from RedBox as it only costs $1.00, and they are sold out every time. I will make a point to see it though.
oh god owwwww
**involuntarily grabbing my nuts in pain**
whoa, how were you typing then..?
With his tongue. He’s very talented with his tongue.
*facekeyboard*
*facekeyboard*
*facekeyboard*
Ouch. That hurts.
*stiffles a giggle*
*sympathysqueeze*
LOL, I know what you’re getting at…
He can fold it into a u-shape. Right?
That too.
Do you have his
full name, address, and phone numberemail addy? I want to send him areally hot message‘Get Well Soon’ note.Just send it to me and I’ll
delete itforward it to him.Awww you still remember
hello fail peeps! I managed to survive the blizzard yesterday. yeah!! They did close my building at 12:00 so I didn’t have to go in! yipee! but the roads were still bad today when I had to get here.
Glad to see you, and to hear you’re safe in all this wintery mess.
thanks, it’s good to see you too. I was worried, but I think the roads will be better when I leave tonight….as long as they don’t freeze.
Rule #4: Seatbelts.
Rule #2: Double Tap.
Rule #1: Cardio.
Rule #22: When in doubt, know your way out.
Rule #3 safety, because safety is always third
We closed the day before. So I have the whole storm off.
*skaWEEZE*
Glad you could make it for a bit. When you drive home, remember safety third!
lol, i should have read the whole thread… i just made that joke!
Not funny.
You must be male.
Yes i’m…
Now your comment makes me wonder how would it be if it was a girl…
OMG
See my post up there ^^^^^^^^.
High speed credit card swipe.
OOOW!
*closes legs quickly and hobbles away*
Pain at high speeds makes for high velocity screams.
Pain at any speed makes for a future fail on FB.
Just so everyone knows, this is Super G, not slalom
That hits the spot!
*snorkgigglegiggle*
~ Oh well – in that case… ~
Nope. Still can’t see it at work.
# She’s a Super G
Super G #
♫ She’s super g-eeky, YOW! ♫
Can’t touch this guy’s nuts for at least a few hours.
The kind you don’t take home to mother.
Those condemning the HighDefDescription above should realize that “slalom” is code for “Super G”. If that is to difficult to comprehend, make the substitution anyway.
If that is to difficult, try growing plants in your head. I hear fertilizer is great for growing plants.
Finally, someone is right
Someone else suggested downhill and giant slalom, but yeah, it’s totally Super-G 
This guy had the total package, and he was in the pole-position. Too bad it all went downhill from there.
Looks like he took a powder…
Yeah, he whacked it pretty hard. Wasn’t a very lodge-ical maneuver.
It would make a good skit on Bunny Hill.
Oh, snow doubt about it!
He sure could use a lift after that…
I heard jumping up and down alps a lot.
He probably won’t be doing any mount[a]in’ for awhile.
*snork*
Bummer, that could lead to a rocky relationship. He should avalanche at a nice restaurant and see if he can get his mind off of it.
Yeah, he could turn out to be a flake. But, I’m sure he’ll get over the hump soon.
Snow wonder he yelled.
I skii what you did there.
that may be a skiing fail but if you listen to the whole clip you will agree that it is an announcer win
In ur fac-… wait. Ouch!
GO NADS
No, I think it stopped them.
All motion is relative.
You know it, brutha!
hit it like a rock star
What’s with the peppering video clips trolls?
Video clips are the new PHOTOSHOPPED!!!11!!ELEBENTY.
And they’re worse.
*agrees*
I’ve added youtube to Adblock Plus. No more embedded nonsense.
FlashBlock or NoScript works too (for FF users, obviously) – you just get a button where the video would be, that you can happily ignore.
what a creepy creepy laugh
I very much doubt that he was laughing.
Skiers need jockstraps, too.
Maybe we should start an awareness campaign. This guy could be our spokesperson. When he recovers.
You know the pictures of cancerous lungs they put on cigarette packs? There must be a place where we can put pics of this guy’s genitals.
On my wall?
thats not slalom you noobs, thats a super-G. if it was a slalom, it wouldn’t have been a big deal cause in slalom the skiiers wear cups because smthing like that happens almost every race to someone. If you don’t know the difference, just write skiing fail.
wrong fail
Not funny. For women and hamsters maybe, for everyone else – not funny.
Good thing I’m a woman, then!
*laughs maniacally*
Speak for yourself!
THIS IS NOT SLALOM, ITS DOWNHILL I THINK, OR GIANT SLALUM!
Chill dude. It’s okay.
Looking at his avatar I !mag!ne his voice to be high and shrill, and more than slightly defensive. Dunno why.
GIANT SALAMI! UPHILL!
BIRMA!
its super-g…
This is not a slalom. This is downhill. YOu bunch of douches
Thanks, we cared so much we ignored the other dozen morons who pointed this out.
*hic*
*throws back another shot*
*hic*
Yesh. What the cute dead man shaid.
*snorkroffleoutloud*
Slalom….oh, I kept reading it as Salmon and wondering what skiing had to do with fish. ROFLMFAO!
nah, it’s salmonella
You weren’t the only one (see my previous comment). Maybe it’s because I had fish n chips for dinner last night.
It’s not slalom but Super-G I think
Yah I ski race and that is GS
We need some more guys pointing out that it’s not slalom, but super-g, please!
It really is super giant slalom and not slalom! The biggest fail is actually the title.
Ahem…this is NOT slalom. It appears to be a Super Giant Slalom.
Disgust. Registered.
/dickache
rofl that sounded like the wilhelm scream
FYI thats downhill skiing not slalom.
No, I still think this is super G. as in super giant slalom
yep not slalom at all….
The noise that skier makes sounds just like the Wilhelm scream from about 100 different movies. Cool!
I personally have done this while racing. Yes it does hurt. The pain goes away, it is a fact of life, get over it.
If you can’t laugh at it, you haven’t gotten over it.
Do guys really make that noise when that happens. . ?
That’s what she said.
Oh man, talk about splitting the uprights….
Title ruined it for me… this is def. not slalom, this looks like super G.
firstly, it’s not slalom.
secondly, it’s not a HE, it’s a SHE, i think it’s michalea dorfmeister from austria.
second’d. Many people doen’t seem to realize that women are also VERY sensitive between the legs and that a unlocky shot/hit/whatever can hurt just as much as it can hurt a man.
…I think we have found a perfect Willhelm scream impersonation!
This is not Slalom this is Giant Slalom, the poles hurt more than in slalom.
Uhh no, this is Super G, or super giant slalom. and if you have ever raced any of them, you woud know that if you hit a super g gate that dosn’t have a spring at the bottom, it hurts a hell of a lot more then a slalom gate that you shin with a shin guard and has a spring on the bottom. So if you dont know what your talking about…STFU
*fapfapfap*
“Honey, what are you… oh god, give it up. It’s been months.”
“DAMMIT THE DOCTOR SAID IT WILL WORK AGAIN EVENTUALLY!!!”
You all fail, this is GS, not Slalom
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL!
FAIL: it ain’t slalom its downhill!
well actually its a woman
Dudes that’s not Slalom! That’s Giant Slalom!
no this is not GS or DH. the turn before the roller is too large, but not large enough to be a DH turn. this is a super g.
fail title.
SUPER G. SUPER G. FASTER THAN GIANT SLALOM, SLOWER THAN DOWNHILL. LEARN.
Title Faaaaaiiiil! Thats not even close to slalom…
Super-g fail is indeed educational but hasn’t really got the same punch
are you guys retarded, thats super g
FAIL TITLE! The skiing disipline is not slalom. it’s super G (which stands for super giant slalom) Slalom is the one were they cross block.
KVITFJELL!!! <3
norway
LOL what ar ethe chances of that hahahahaha
Love it
KAK KAKA KAK AKAKAKAKAKAKAAKA
IK BEN DOM