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1st
lame!
Lame?
Wait… how…? Is moderation… altered again?
Depends on what you want to change them into…
yipes, total misread on my part.
ugh, anyone got any extra **’s?
Take these, I’ve got more.
*****
Thanks Ju-Ju-Bee!
Aw, poor l’il mushy monster…don’t be blue!
hola
Not all words are free of moderation. I have tested the theory. I have a comment in moderation.
And apparently the post that I had in moderation got eaten by the blogmonster.
Most living things need to feed daily.
Don’t worry – it does.
Lame*
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
So is mine.
No comment.
You are posting too many comments. SLOW DOWN!!!
It’s not really that funny until it tells that to a zombie, but then it’s hilarious.
*gnaws on traffic moderators neck*
All these replies makes the comments look like a really tall tower!!!
you do all realize someone drew that on a piece of kardboerd and put it in their car
*arches eyebrow*
I can’t seem to nail down how this isn’t seen as a joke. You would be a heel to believe it.
Or have no sole.
Basketball player?
Sorry for wrecking the run but i commented first before the run does that make sense?.
Quit being such a heel.
Impossible. Check out the slalom fail for proof.
Nevermind. You don’t have to go anywhere VVVVVVV.
i’d like to add a footnote…
|the kid|
What a way to toe the line.
It was tongue in cheek, I believe.
There you are! Hey, let’s all go out tonight. You, too, Ms. B. I’ll foot the bill.
Better go a little early to get a leg up on the crowd.
I’d love to go! I just hope the cover fees aren’t too thigh.
Pffft! Who cares! We’re so hip they’ll let us in for free!
That cause you peeps are head and shoulders above all.
It will just defeet the whole purpose.
Now we just kneed something awesome to wear.
I know a great joint we could go to here in NoCal…
Is it members only?
foot leg knee hip …
Don’t play with it! It’s not a toey.
CauShin… pun with care.
These puns are in the double digits now.
You lot really are on the ball.
And here I thought the heel was taking inventory.
Is he your archrival ZA?
i can not erase the mental image of a person repeatedly kneeing an article of clothing.
best thing to think of…to boot!
|the kid|
*anklesqueeze*
*snorksqueeze*
I agree. This is obviously a joke and you would be dead stupid not to see that.
Guys thats not funny. You are pathetic.
Dude that’s not pathetic. You are funny.
He’s going 6 feet under.
At least he looks comfortable with his feet up.
They really are laid back in Florida, eh?
It’s the embalmy weather.
I have learnt a new word today.
Of corpse it is.
Some music to go with that?
*plays “De FUNCT” by Daft Punk*
Saints preserve us! That music will raise the dead.
We want morgue! We want morgue!
The Dead will certainly be Grateful …
Best not stiff that audience . . . ooops.
Before you know it you end up in jail
Dang! The new fails sneak up on us when we’re not looking!
Be vewwy vewwy quiet… we’re hunting fails!
Fail season!
Win season!
Should I laugh at you now, or wait ’til you get home?
Laugh now! Laugh now!
*makes popcorn*
*sits and waits*
Just when we’re getting comfortable in our own little fail. Bam! They come in and move us to the next.
“fail movements”?
More like a fail exodus.
I gave you a pan-galactic gargle blaster on the last fail…
*holds up a gold brick wrapped in a slice of lemon*
…Would you like me to give it to you now?
No, I’m not a thirty-ton mega-elephant with a bronchial pnuemonia… :S
*watches to see effect on Earthlings*
Could I get a jynnan tonnix instead?
♩ Movin’ all da failpeeps. ♩
Whheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!
Looks like 12pm fails are here to stay.
*adjust work schedule*
It’s a PT Cruiser with feet.
*punches*
What Colour!?
*squeezes*
OW!!!
MOOOOOM!!!!! FlB punched me!!!!!!!!
Did Not!!! She started it!!!
DON’T MAKE ME PULL THIS THREAD OVER, BECAUSE I WILL DO IT AND THEN YOU’LL BOTH BE SORRY!!
*sticks tongue out childishly at Leila*
*look away*
*pulls on FlB’s hair*
I know you are but what am I?
Shh…
Someone’s zoomin’ for a *FOOOOM!!*in’!
*sucks thumb*
*doesn’t say whose*
Gah! Let go of my thumb. I don’t want to be anywhere near the *FOOOOM* again.
I’ve been pretty luck so far. Ms B, not so much.
lucky
*gives Leila a cookie*
*nomNomNomNom*
Just what a needed!!! Thank you DW.
You’re welcome! You know I love my FailFamily.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I feel the love.
*returns the favor*
Did you get a full refund?
*laughs really hard at own joke*
*realizes no one else is*
No, I didn’t buy the extended warranty.
Bah! Warranties are always a sham anyway.
Yes… but an amazing warranty will clean up your messes…
*wasn’t involved, but cowers anyway*
*Also now cowers and is quiet*
(Next time she won’t use the lemon, and the the brick won’t be Gold…)
It might not even be a brick!
Do you mean…
?
Fire hurts.
Opens car door… unbuckles seat belt…..
*tuck, roll*
Huh…! So THAT’S why they say that if someone “leaves”, they “bounce”.
*snork*
…few scrapes, almost eaten by wolves, but no burns. *thumbs up*
*hides in the bonus fail*
*follows the smart birdie*
That’s exactly what happened with me growing up. My big sister would get in trouble and we would ALL get a beating as a result. I never understood that.
The innocent are always punished with the guilty, sweetie Leila.
I know right? I gotta say, that may have straightened me though.
So, who won the age guessing game?
Me, of corpse.
Mushy guessed you at 35.
Mushy is very kind.
Either that, or you don’t know how to act your age.
*Runs in*
*Throws worms at all the girls he likes*
*Runs out*
I just always pictured everyone here in a 20′s-30′s bracket. I guess I was wrong… (Take that how you want it, I have no hidden meaning behind it.)
I refuse to act my age. I am still looking for the manual where it shows me how I should act.
There’s a manual??!? I need one! I need all the help I can get!
It better have diagrams and pictures too!
Sorry guys, my dog ate it.
Sorry, this is all I could find…
*hands Avis a Manuel*
I think you might like this more, though!
OoooOOOooohhh!
Hmmmm….
*skips in*
*squeezes FlB*
*hands him a bouquet of dandelions*
*skips back out*
Well…I fit into that category for another month!
*tacks an “and 40s” bracket onto FlB’s comment*
Thank you Gracie! I love them!
…*and Squeezes*
♬
I’m not growing up
I’m just burning out.
♬
♬I was a young boy that had big plans…♬
♪ Now I’m just another sh*tty old man ♫
A hearse is a hearse, of curse, of curse…
And no one can ride in a hearse of curse unless of curse in that hearse is the famous Mr. Dead!
People shoot and stab and maim
with never any style,
but Mr. Dead will use his curse,
your suff’ring will last all the while!
You misspelled “corpse”.
…Is what said to the the nurse, the nurse…
It’s not the cough that carried him off,
it’s the coffin they carried him off in.
one size fits all
Apparently not in this case, Bubba.
Did he die?
He’s just resting.
Eternally.
Do you remember your goldfish ernie? Well… circle of life, better place, all that BS, the end.
Ernie’s dead?!
Oh shoot, that’s right, um…
Um…. ~oh! no! that’s him in his Goldfish bowl there, *gasp* what was I thinking?~
Ernie is swimming with the fish’s.
4YVA
He should be pining!
He’s pining in a Ford.
*snerk*
Now that’s what I call a dead pirate.
I wouldn’t be caught dead in there!
Wait…
Well, at least not in that color. It’s not whats hot in grim fashion this season.
Idk guys, I’ve heard that some people are dying for the opportunity…
I’d have to pass on any offers.
Well good, cause the offer’s expired!
That just ghost to show you, never wait until it’s too late!
You speak in such a grave tone, but I don’t buy it.
Okay, don’t take my advice. It’s your funeral…
Oh come on now! It’s like you R.I.P. my heart from my chest!
Sorry, I’m not myself today. Usually I kill with kindness.
Yeah, you’re quite well known for being departed…
*pushes up daisies*
Thank you! I will have them pressed and lamen(a)ted!
This has become a grave matter.
You’ve all urn’d my respect.
I loves you too.
But really, who could resist demise?
Just in time delivery has been taken too far!
Hey, thirty minutes or less, or it’s free!
Oooo! Free dead man?!?! Woo hoo!!
Someone should help free him…he’s clearly trying to kick out the back window!
I think I’ll go for a walk.
You’re not fooling anyone, you know.
Really, he feels much better!
I feel happy! I feel happy!
*WHACK*
There’s your ninepence.
*Fishy kiss the corpse…
Fishy kiss the coooorpse!*
Mine smells. I am sending it back!
*demands a full refund*
Has anyone seen ZA? He seems to have gone missing.
Isn’t ZA the undead?
He could be taking a nap.
Typical zombie.
Rotting layabout.
Sorry, I had a bad case of the munchies.
So who did you have over for snacks?
Did I ever tell you how great a guy you are?
Explains why cremation is popular.
But who would burn shoes?
Usain Bolt.
♬
Got my best suit and my tie
Shiny silver dollar on either eye.
I hear the chauffeur comin to my door
Says there’s room for maybe just one more.
♬
Wow! How does one celebrate a zombie’s birthday?
with brains and cake
♫ It’s a Dead Man’s party!
Who could ask for more?
Everybody’s coming – leave your body and soul at the door! ♫
♫ Don’t run away – it’s only me!
Don’t be afraid of what you can’t see! ♫
♫ It ain’t no sin
to take off your skin
and dance around your bones ♫
I knew there was a reason we got along so well, ZA!
*squeezesherfavoritezombie*
I few so wittle…..
*squeezyFlB*
*squeezybackLGB*
*finally gets an idea*
*rigs up a ShamWow dispenser on his back*
*safety*
*… profit??*
8)
Well, here’s the thing: I don’t mind *squeezing* you, even though you are -erm kinda squishy and you get -erm stuff on me. I’m washable. God made body fluids and body fluids don’t hurt. :p
Oh, almost forgot:
It also makes me *snork* because you’re not just my favorite zombie, you’re the only zombie I know!
Now that’s funny. I was my mothers only son, so for years I signed every card to her “your favorite son”. Sometimes I still do.
Poor hearse!
*leads it to water*
The question is, will it drink?
Was it beaten?
Rein in the animal cruelty.
I think it went over the waterfall.
(Really, I think that was what happened in the original Poor Horse incident.)
(You know, I’ve been trying to remember the original Poor Horse story. Anyone remember which fail that was on??)
I don’t, and it’s been nagging me for some time.
I hope it hasn’t been giving you nightmares.
Did you ask the neeeeighbors?
Yeah, but I had the impression they were stallion for time.
The original Poor Horse story is from my High School days, and was originally an inside joke with some of my friends I don’t really talk to anymore. I don’t recall the original joke, I just remember the punch line of Poor Horse, and a few peeps here decided to adopt my forgotten inside joke as their own.
*hugs peeps*
*hugs back*
You’re the bestest, Ms B!
So what is the full Poor Horse story?
Psst…she said she doesn’t remember.
*boops Leila on the nose*
And THANKS, Ms B, for the reminder! I don’t feel so bad not remembering the whole story now that I remember I never knew the whole story.
Um…
! I blame those pills I found in your bag.
*flees*
*curses stupid migraine*
I sometimes have to read with one eye.
I’ve been fighting a migraine all week, Leila. I feel your pain.
At this point, I’m not sure who’s winning — I suspect we may be battling to a draw. Though any time I can keep the migraine from thoroughly winning feels like a victory.
*gentle squeeze*
Mah sistahs are strong.
*squeeze*
Only a few more minutes of work — then I can go home & possibly make Shepherd’s Pie. I’m looking up recipes right now.
Nightshayde! Good to see a regular here. Even if it is for only a couple of minutes.
Hiya, Coyote!
*squeeze*
Yup — I’m about to leave. Have a good evening.
Night and enjoy the pie.
So, I was taking this stupid new Skills for Success class in my senior year. It was a brand-new required class, and they were still working out the kinks in it. I was in the class with two good friends, and we were always getting in trouble for talking. Which only made us more snarky. We were watching a crappy motivational movie (or something, I don’t remember anything about the movie), and something happened to a horse. Poor Horse! came to be a phrase we would say all the time, and it refrenced this silly class and its silly movie. It was our own little joke that we laughed at all the time.
I unfortunately no longer speak with these friends, but still remember this silly little joke, and think about it often (especially when a horse is involved).
All this time I thought we were referring to a fail too.
*squeezie*
I have some friends like that, too. The in-jokes stay with me, even if the friends don’t.
SPRANGEN!
*jumps!*
Fankoo!
Did he died?
That’s one small brain for man…
One giant leap for a brain cell.
FYI, there is a bonus fail. It’s one back this time.
ICE ICE BABY!!!
You were correct about Hacked IRL being featured.
lame
flame
Tame….
Ooh! Game!
Perhaps decorate it with some shiny confetti and rainbow streamers.
Obviously it needs a little pick-me-up.
*rummages in medicine cabinet*
Surely there are some little blue pills in here…
*Finds Processor or Bridge or whatever…*
Here!
I swear I had a comment here earlier…
Viagra inside!
*Request intel. on the Admiral.*
Intelligence report:
Use of glitter in thread, combined with dead person. Possible Cullen infestation. Probable rank: Rear Admiral, due to presence of Viagra “inside”. Estimated threat level: Moderate physical threat, high mental threat, due to possible fairypire presence.
I don’t get it.
I wouldn’t either.
What’s up lis?
Do we really wanna know sis? Do we?
*pout*
I replied, but Bloggy ate it.
~Don’t you just love Bloggy?~
THAT explains the t-shirt in your screen name!!!
Yeah, Gracie and k@ wear them too.
you should know…right?
See, when you don’t use the reply button, no-one knows what the hell you’re talking about.
[snarky]I think it’s a safe assumption that nobody would know what the hell XR was talking about even if he/she DID use the reply button…[/snarky]
I think you may be right!
Just maybe he hears voices. You could be more positive.
New windscreen wipers ?
*RIGLMS*
Am I the only one who thought of Goatse?
Most Likely.
i think its a guy sleeping in the back but they thought he was dead….. i dunno, but lol!!!
“And in other news, the body of beloved Disney Character, Goofy the dog, was buried the other day. Last minute adjustments were made before the funeral to the casket for a snug fit”
wow this site is getting so pathetic, i guess youre running out of stuff eh
If this hearse is a rockin’…
Um, seriously, you might call someone about that; that’s pretty wrong.
This is a new kinda creepy
not really a fail, i actually have done something close to this. a friend of mine had 3 different hearses.
Of course it’s in Florida
y dont u guys just shet the hell up
its a fake name and im a boy