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i cried…
I guess you wouldn’t like Ha Ha Now You’re Poor.
It’s probably some spoiled brat whose daddy will buy him a new one. That’s the kind of people who usually drive such impractical cars!
you mean “IMPACTical”
Impacticar?
and he was too CAReless
you typed an e too many…
he was too CARless :SHOCK:
It has to be lowercase
not :SHOCK:
BIG FAIL XD same in madrid: all the guys with their super flat cars ram the ground and destroy their cars
How do you ram the ground?
when theres a bump in it
These puns are making me cry…
You accidentied your emoticon.
It has to be lowercase:
not :SHOCK:
Eight capital Oh is so much easier.
*fail
And it’s always these morons who are too freaking stupid to figure out their turn signals. Every single time. I can’t believe this douchnozzle made it as far as he did before wiping out.
The only better outcome here would have been simply slamming head on into the wall at full speed rather than involving other drivers.
Your all losers
You’re an ašš
February 10, 2010 at 6:09 pm
LMFAO…!!!!!!!!!!
The UN-painted hood alone is over $18,000.00 for this Sneaky Snake…!!!! And That is my price…!!!! WOW that hertz…!!!! But it is the whole front end, ONE BIG PIECE…!!!
I use to Sell Dodges, That one isn’t cheep…!!!!!!!!! HAhahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
But hey… Most of you knew that…!!!!
Have Fun…!!!!
WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!! HAHAHAH!!!! STOP USING CRACK!!!! HAHAHAH
@nope HAHHAHHA YOUr AN IDIOT !!! HAHAHAH!!!! STOP BEING AN IDIOT!!!! HAHHAHAHA.
Well guys, this might have happened anyone of us probably.
I wouldn’t have thought of a standing queue when exiting the tunnel, where you can’t see a thing coming out of the dark into bright sunlight…
Except most of us wouldn’t be rapidly accelerating out of the tunnel without being able to see what is ahead…
Looks like he couldn’t Dodge that one. . .
Just think about it for a few seconds. It’s hilarious.
teh second line ruins the joke
It was a man in santiago, chile. I read it in the newspaper. Here are just 4 viper in this city, well, maybe 3 now.
Swing and a hissssss?
On a certain scale.
It was a guess based on the fail’s title. Apparently I guessed incorrectly. *sigh*
*hisssssss*
That’s the sound of radiator fluid escaping from the Dodge Viper. Nice job.
I can’t see it either. I was just trying to play off a pun, you know, scales, on a snake…yeah, it sucked.
I dunno, Ms B — I thought it had bite.
Definitely had more than a slither of hope.
I hate it when that happens — makes you just want to crawl under a rock!
I recoiled just watching it.
I have a feeling this pun-run is winding-down…
I’m tempted to keep it going, but it probably won’t be very fruitful.
Well, if you’re Adam[ant] we continue, let’s press on…
Eden though it may be difficult?
Sure! It could be a pun-run of biblical proportions…
Sure! It could be a pun-run of biblical proportions…
♫ It’s at times like this the great heaven knows
That we wish we had not so many clothes
So let’s loosen up with a playful tease
Like all lovers did through the centuries. ♫
Hey, I Cain dig it, as long as you’re Abel.
~Oh Noah! Not a pun run~
I Caint see this thread ever ending.
Someone’s borked it. Comments are taking a few minutes to appear.
I wonder why the blogmonster bothered with that one? Such a silly apple, he is!
♫ It’s at times like this the great heaven knows
That we wish we had not so many clothes
So let’s loosen up with a playful tease
Like all lovers did through the centuries. ♫
The blogmonster seems to be hungry.
Hey, I Cain dig it, as long as you’re Abel.
*curses the blogmonster*
I’ve tried quoting an Adam & the Ants song twice now, but the monster has eaten both posts.
Hey, I Cain dig it, as long as you’re Abel.
hopefully this doesn’t post three times, for Christ’s sake.
This Babel(ing) could go on forever.
What in creation is going on right now?
This Babel(ing) could go on forever.
This is a true testament to the wrath of the blogmonster.
Our posts are being washed around like the Egyptians in the Red Sea.
Fangs for trying!
But keep trying, don’t get rattled.
That driver had some (ser)pent-up rage.
He/She probably felt constricted with all the traffic that day.
The driver should have pulled over and made a pit stop.
The lawyers will have his guts for garters.
He was rather boadacious for not doing so.
He clearly doesn’t [gr]asp the concept of safe driving.
I think he spent too much time in a rathskeller.
Bet he had a hissy fit when he saw his hood.
He nearly got hit by an underpass though.
Hey there NS — how is the migraine? I did not expect to see you today!
It’s being held at bay with drugs right now. I really want to finish the project I was working on last night — then if the headache creeps forward again, I can go home & hide in a dark room.
Thanks for asking! *squeeze*
Snake eyes?
The snake bite the back bumper of the van.
“…and then you’ve got the lid thinkers going:
‘What was that sentence you just said?’
‘OK, so the sentence didn’t make sense… We could
puthave spoons…’ ” ~Eddie Izzard*snoffle*
Stripped really was worth every penny.
There’s an excellent bit about Ants in Elephants’ clothing, and a wonderful 10 minute skit on the difficulties of Latin.
Latin combibo!
It’s brilliantly summed up by the simplicity in his use of English in comparison.
“Hannibal’s coming!”
“With Soldiers?”
“Yes, and Elephants!”
“What are elephants?”
“Pigs + Squirrells”
“Ruuun motherfúcker!”
Also, his “Latin” is a healthy mix of Latin, French, German, Italian and English.
Oh-oh – better get MAACO.
This guy’s insurance agent is not going to be happy…
Health or auto?
Yes.
Hey! How come that comment worked for you, but mine got deleted?
Natural selection?
Because.
Because she is NightShayde … and you, are not.
Hee hee!
Sometimes it pays to be me.
There really IS an overpass!
Hence the pile-up!
He better watch his Rear-End.
So, instead of being a Pony eater, like the FireBird, this Viper is a van eater??
That’s not your daddy’s Hall and Oates mobile.
I didn’t even know. How’d I get so Out of Touch?
You Did It In A Minute.
What a Maniac!
You Did It in a Minute.
Bukkit…
You “Did It In a Minute”
It may have been that Fall in Philadelphia
You Did It in a Minute.
Uh, you okay there, FlaB?
You Did It in a Minute.
We could ask Sara, but she’s a maneater.
You “Did it In a Minute.”
FLB & Server fail. Say it Isn’t So!
I thought I was being moderated, so I was trying every possible way to get the joke through. Some moderation could have been nice in this instance…
Pwease?
LMAO!
S’okay, FLB — happens to the best of us! This is the exact reason we usually only post once more after Bloggy noms our first post.
*squeeze*
Thank yous…
*squeezes back*
Still, I feel like it deserves a second “bukkit.”
He’s a van-pyre.
Woo hoo Scottie!!!!!
*tosses confetti*
Yay Scottie!!!!
*leads parade in jeep*
*the Starship Enterprise is presented in all its glory*
*gun salute*
*is startled by guns, crashes into long line of van, killing BFF clone in red shirt*
WOOT-WOOT-WOOT, SCOTTY!!
*waves small flag with “sC0ttEh!” scrawled on in crayon*
*feels outdone*
Woop Woop, GS!
Congrats Scotty!
*Tosses hat into the air*
*Watches in horror as hat is shot apart by gun salute*
*Picks up the pieces and goes home*
*rummages around underground*
*produces a few tons of confetti shaped like the Enterprise*
*
safety**overloads stainless confetti cannon*
*packs in some more*
*mostly buries self, lights fuse timidly*
*quickly sinks 18 feet*
BA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
*floor shakes*
*millions of Enterprises are embedded everywhere*
*some float back to the ground lazily*
Congrats GS!
*starts bubble machine*
Woohoo GS!
*makes with the balloon drop*
WahHooo GS!!!!!
WOOHOO Scott!
See what happens when you forget to put saftey third? Another clone bites the dust…
Oh, he’s not here. I think he said something about going out for a drive.
I don’t know why he took a video camera.
Hee! Yay, Scottie!
Wow, My first Power!
Break out Saurian Brandy, I’m buying!
*holds out glass expectantly*
Let’s try this again.
Computer…champagne, extra bubbly, chilled.
*¡ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ ƃnןƃ pǝzıʇıƃıp*
*requested bottle materializes on transporter pad*
One sshaurin brandy bottlsh, comin’ up!
*slumps over teleporter console snoring*
*sips Saurian Brandy*
*gives a wee bit to the blogmonster*
You gave him too much.
He’s taking several minutes to digest every comment.
Whoop whoop Scott!
*wiggledances*
*joins in the wiggledance*
*wriggledances*
…Dang. I did it wrong. I never was a very good dancer!
I don’t know — wriggling is a nice change from simply wiggling …
*Wonders why he suddenly craves Jell-O*
It’s Cosby and effect.
And she’s the most graceful wriggle-dancing dragon I know!
Yup! Yessir! What she said!
Why was that guy following the viper around? Were he and the driver making a “cool” video?
I was waiting for something interesting or new or different to happen, instead of the inevitable. Hope springs eternal?
You can tell by the ‘cool’ music rockin’ in the background.
*squeezieswiki*
Was that in the driver’s car or dubbed-in later, ya’ think?
yep, Viper Stalker he is
TEH CAT IS BACK!
*squeeze*
All dried-out now, sweetie?
*runs like hell*
i have beer nightmares now
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
*lights flash*
*studio audience cheers*
You’ve won a week’s worth of free trips to the Budweiser factory! How do you feel?
Cheated.
Depends which one, I’d say.
Depends and Budweiser used in the same conversation…check.
For the third time…
Depends and Budweiser used in the same conversation…sounds about right.
*ushers teh cat into Beer Factory*
Why would another driver be following and filming the viper?
Hah, you’re three minutes too late.
for some people it takes hours to express their thoughts, give them some slack
I like to give them just enough rope to hang themselves with.
*looks at large quantities of noose-rope*
Wait, so what is this, some sort of lasso?
Thanks!
*lassos self*
*crashes into overpass*
That’s for the trolls!!
Hey, trolls! [Insert racist/homophobic comment here]!
Wanna play cowboys?
You are expecting something along the lines of Blazing Saddles meets Brokeback Mountain?
More like Final Destination
NS: Truck, bridge, boom.
*shrugs*
LOL! Thanks, AE.
So, this dude is following this other dude in a Viper around and videotaping the experience. Traffic is heavy but they’re on the highway and the Viper can slither through traffic. They actually make it under the overpass and through the tunnel rather hastily, then decide a brake test is in order. The brakes pass the test but the tires fail, causing an unscheduled bumper test and a reminder of Rule #4 (SEATBELTS!). Viper, meet delivery van.
Zombies erupt from everywhere because of the dubbed in music, but are immediately destroyed by fast moving cars and trucks because we’re on the freeway.
The resulting mess is powered by GS (I thought it was, “You’re driving me to drink.”). Cue the bicycle dude, some lightning and the ever loving DOT ORG!
*golf craps*
*dons protective clothing*
*squeezes ZA tightly*
Not so tight, ns! You’re making him ooze.
This is why you take out insurance.
No, but this is why his insurance premium is so high.
Even responsible drivers need insurance. This guy needs a slap.
More than a slap, possibly a smack upside the head.
And a spell on the comfy chair.
*dramatic close – up*
The comfy chair?
Tie her down!
… We will leave you here until lunchtime, with maybe just a small break for tea and a biscuits, unless you CONFESS!!
I confess! I confess!
Not you, Cardinal!
CONFESS! Confess, or we will hit you with the squishy cushions!
*pokes with the soft cushions*
Crikey. I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition.
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
I’m thinking a boot to the head.
Though, I doubt any of us could do more damage to him than he just did to himself.
wats the song in the background?
Taps.
haha piece of garbage viper with a douchebag driver, what a combo!
One douchebag combo, coming right up. Do you want extra hostility with that?
Just a side of ass, please.
Does that come with a Neck Tube, or is that extra?
I’m gonna have to pass on the side of creepy eyes.
Yipes!
One of the unfortunate side-effects of vipertension.
Perhaps he should have taken a vipermin for that…
They make me viperactive.
Either that or a venoma.
That’s all viperbole — vipercolonics are much more effective.
Total VIPE Out!! (thank you).
*sweeps Lee off to the Castle Dungeons*
BBC approved puns only, please!
*goes to fetch the rack*
Give the rack…
…a turn!
’tis a silly car.
that left a brutal scar …
… after sliding real far.
from the neighborhood bar…
…and then it did mar…
It’s a Jock-Clod Van-Dam movie.
*crash*
Damn.
Oh, no ABS?
It’s not like he is driving a pro racing car.
Nope, Vipers didn’t get ABS until 2001, that GTS is definitely an older model.
Yeah, it’s the hardest muscle to work, so it took longer.
♬
Innocence
Gave him confidence
To go up against
Reality
♬
I hear Dodge are now recalling all Viper models.
There’s a nut loose at the wheel.
dumbasses stopin on the highway… learn how to drive morons! If everyone knew how to drive we wouldn’t have so many lock ups.
SPEEDING = MAN.
Wo, i gotta stop ragin on the internet. I’ll just carry a gun and shoot bad drivers. Yeah, great idea, most definitely.
*rips trolls head open*
*starves*
*Snork*
On the plus side, you can hear the ocean if you hold it up to your ear.
You know you make a great troll yourself ZA, all you do is surf Failblog and give your great suggestions/puns/useless comments.
Also, I accidentally the whole thread.
How ironic. You’re a troll, and you don’t even know what it means. Just sufing on FailBlog doesn’t make you a troll.
*sufs*
*offers bukkit*
*sufs*
*offers bukkit*
GAH! Someone gave Bloggy too much to drink.
*sufs*
*offers bukkit*
*sufs*
*offers bukkit*
*sufs*
*
offers bukkitPounceTackleSqueezes Judy**returnpouncetackesqueezesjon*
*giggles*
*sufs*
*offers bukkit*
*sufs*
*
offers bukkitPounceTackleSqueezes Gracie**stares at pile of bukkits*
What am I to do with all these bukkits?!
suf them.
*collapses*
*begins to shiver in fear*
Accidentally? That’s “all” wrong, dude
I believe the word you’re looking for is “accidenty”
~Thank you.~
You’re lucky the blog monster got a bad case of the munchies when it did.
Now that was weird …
Server Maintenance
Your server is going through a few minutes of routine maintenance. Please don’t touch your browser for a few minutes.
What do I do?
* If you were posting a comment or making a post on your blog then do not press BACK on your browser. Wait 5 minutes and press the refresh icon on your browser. Your comment or post will be sent as normal.
* If you are browsing a blog here just wait a few moments and hit refresh. The page you were expecting will appear.
I got that too. Didn’t wait five minutes and my stoopid Internet Exploder froze up on me. Razzaflabbin Microsoft!
I got that & refreshed after about 4 minutes.
Now there’s a new fail – we can step away from this one and never look back.
No…no, I can’t. It’s too easy.
*goes to look for something more challenging*
*wonders how one drives a moron*
I’d show you, but I don’t want PhaNtious cooties in my car.
Dangle a comment thread in front of it?
Dangle a comment thread in front of it?
Dangle a comment thread in front of it?
Dangle a comment thread in front of it?
Tantalizingly dangle a comment thread in front of it?
Omg.
They all showed up.
*SNORK!*
THE BLOGMONSTER BARFED UP MY COMMENTS!!!
I think he ate too many and made himself sick.
Well, I had a completely hilarious suggestion for you, but it must have been particularly tasty because the blogmonster has eaten it three times.
HMPH, I say.
I’d tell you, but the blogmonster is eating all my posts.
Dangle a comment thread in front of him?
How strange…I went and changed my gravatar email addy, and then all my comments showed up.
*THWACKS the blog hard to get the needle to stop skipping*
*gets broom*
*sweeps debris into dustpan*
*disposes in incinerator*
I don’t know where this comes from.
Speeding=man, huh? That could certainly apply to the bedroom for some guys. As you probably already know.
*snork*
Not for at least 10 years, methinks.
Providing he could actually get some at 18 anyway…
Damn van came out of no where and hit me without any provocation!
Moral of the story: Showing off is dumb.
And with a car like that, it just demonstrates that you are:
1. Having a mid life crisis
2. Not very good with your money
3. Insecure about the size of your genitals.
D. Likes to drive fast cars.
VI. A filthy rich douchebag, i hope you die.
This is what happens when you have no exit strategy.
Just because your car is named after a snake doesn’t mean you can slither out of all bad situations.
…and tread heavily with a big stick.
*thwacks moron upside the head with a headstone*
*does it again*
ZA! That was a perfectly good headstone before you got moron cooties all over it! Now clean that up and put it back where it belongs! Right now, young zombie!
*grabs ShamWow*
*cleans mess off headstone*
*safety*
*returns it to whence it came*
Don’t be silly. Sometimes a Viper is just a cigar.
…Wait.
A mouse finds a lioness trapped in a pit.
The lioness says help me out and I will be your friend.
The mouse tells her I am too small, let me go and find a viper to reach you with. While the mouse is off searching an elephant wonders over and sticks his trunk into the pit and picks up the lioness.
Moral: If you have a big trunk you don’t need a viper.
A mouse finds a lioness trapped in a pit.
The lioness says help me out and I will be your friend.
The mouse sees he is too small, let me go and find a viper to reach you with. While the mouse is off searching an elephant wonders over and sticks his trunk into the pit and picks up the lioness.
Moral: If you have a big trunk you don’t need a viper.
How is an expensive sports car different from a porcupine?
On a porcupine the pricks are on the outside.
A mouse finds a l!oness trapped in a pit. The lioness says help me out and I will be your friend. The mouse sees he is too small and wonders off looking for a viper to reach her with. While the mouse is off searching an elephant shows up, sticks his trunk into the pit and picks up the l!oness.
Moral: If you have a big trunk you don’t need a viper.
A mouse finds a l!oness trapped in a pit. The lioness says help me out and I will be your friend. The mouse sees he is too small and wonders off looking for a viper to reach her with. While the mouse is off searching an elephant shows up, sticks his trunk into the pit and picks up the l!oness.
Moral: If you have a big trunk you don’t need a viper.
*does triple-take*
*does a quadruple-take*
I thwacked the blog above (↑) to get the needle to stop skipping.
*gives Marius his anti-seizure meds*
HAH!
I wasn’t the only one.
*links arms with Marius in multiple-posting solidarity*
*joins the party*
I thought I was having moderate problems.
*Links arms with Dragon*
Hee! I did it too, but I didn’t quite have your perseverance, and fortunately, some of my attempts never made it through.
There’s a fable I’m trying to remember – I think it involves a lioness, a mouse, and an elephant. Oh, yeah, and a viper.
Anyone know which one I’m talking about?
I seriously just spent five minutes comparing posts to see which word was moderated.
Show-off fail
See!
*self-satisfied nod*
A high crash rating is always useful in street racing.
That dude was going way 2 Fast.
Hopefully the owner of the van isn’t 2 Furious.
That dude was going way 2 Fast.
Hopefully the owner of the van isn’t 2 Furious.
*does double-take*
I really shouldn’t have to repeat myself.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. Could you repeat that?
I like the Audi that’s behind the Viper in the beginning better than the Viper
Wow, one of those douchebags cut me off yesterday and almost got hit by a car backing out of their driveway, I was so wanting it to happen. Watching this I am sort of satisfied…
AHHHHH!!! THE BLOGMONSTER’S LOOSE!!!
*runs to the hills*
*cues up some Iron Maiden*
♪
White man came across the sea
He brought us pain and misery.
He killed our tribes, he killed our creed
He took our game for his own need.
We fought him hard, we fought him well
Out on the plains, we gave him hell!
♪
\m/
(2nd attempt)
AHHHHH!!! THE £$%@ BLOGMONSTER’S LOOSE!!!
*sprints to the hills*
*snork!*
The monster is eating my posts.
Hmmmm…
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, BLOGMONSTER?! WHY?!?! WHYYYYYYY?!
*breaks down in tears*
It’s OK, it’s just slow posts.
*pat pat*
Oh my. Bloggy’s quite busy today, nomming comments and double-posting…
oh, the crash sounds like the GTA IV crashes
Er, Marius? What just happened here?
Dratted computer!!! I keep trying to post, it keeps failing to do so!
There’s something awry with the server here. DSL is out completely at my place, and WordPress just gave me some warning about the server in my area.
Let’s see if THIS posts!
Apparently it wasn’t on your end, Avis.
I just NOW got back on-line!!
This has been ridiculous!
Seeeeen it already! on chilloutzone.de
*rocks back and forth in corner*
mumblemumblegobacktonormalmumblemumble
Jackass deserved every little bit of that accident. The road is not a playground. Suck it.
Insurance rates on cars like that are so high for a reason!
what a douche
I think I was actually there when that happened 0_0
*giggles maniacally*
*foams at the mouth*
*runs out of the room, still cackling maniacally*
*speeds off in jeep*
ive already seen this, dont remember where
Hey… That happened in Chile… and about six month ago
Oh God! Was the van okay?
I guess that driver couldn’t DODGE that one! (Get it? Dodge?)
SERVES HIM RIGHT
This was so beautiful I almost cried.
maybe he felt like he was being stalked lol
What a lack of everything in FailBlog, never saw so many old stuff as i´ve been seeing this weeks
What’s with the lack of the slow-mo replay? Are there time constraints or something?
that made my day, douche
What’s the tune in the background called? I’ve been trying to find it for ages!
Hey men !
that was here ! in Chile !
hahahahaha !
Need For Speed FAIL
Hmm maybe accelerating into the blinding sunlight wasn’t so smart?
LMFAO…!!!!!!!!!!
The UN-painted hood alone is over $18,000.00 for this Sneaky Snake…!!!! And That is my price…!!!! WOW that hertz…!!!! But it is the whole front end, ONE BIG PIECE…!!!
I use to Sell Dodges, That one isn’t cheep…!!!!!!!!! HAhahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
But hey… Most of you knew that…!!!!
Have Fun…!!!!
i think i failed harder just watching. i thought the title was vampire strike fail, so i watched the whole thing waiting for some caped creature to fall from the sky. alas, no such fail.
The fast and the failures, I’d say.
“Oh, how DARE this bourgeois van impact with my fantastically expensive sports car! I feel, as an excessive consumer, that it is my RIGHT to drive around like a flagrant imbecile! I do not need this… this VAN that cost as much as my bloody CAR STEREO to impact me! I should have at LEAST got hit by a Lamborghini if there is any justice in the world!”
lol
I would say he’s equally inadequate behind the wheel as he is in bed (which is prolly why he got the car in the first place)!
I hope this video found its way to the trial. I’m sure the judge and the driver of the van would find it amusing…
It’s on youtube now too
Serves that idiot right for driving like that!
Play him off keyboard cat
Hi, I’m the Viper! I’m here to vipe the vindows on ur van!
I now that guy he lives in chile in south america this video was in the news the guy who rec the video is a friend
y quien eri?? yo filme el video y no conozco ningun Daxt…
i actually thought the FAIL was going to happen to the idiot chasing the viper around filming him being recklass
The chase car appears to be a Subaru Impreza, non-turbo (no hood scoop).
lol, I saw this video and thought… “the highway looks like the highways on my country”…
lol, now I know this happened in my country …
btw so stupid crash
LOl, I saw when the car left the highway. That happened in my country. im from chile, and my University is right on front of the highway exit.
343
the idiot with the cam provoked the accident…. in the original video you can see how he chased the viper driver for a long time and in which way
the idiot with the cam is an idiot for filming and driving at the same time. wonder if the same thing happened to him?
Well, Subaru wins!
For the records, this happened in the city of São Paulo, Brazil
I’m guessing the camera car was a 2006 Scooby Rox (Subaru WRX)
THAT VIPER CRASH HAPPEN IN MY COUNTRY……..CHILE…….. POOR VIPER
lmfao i live too in chile
(nah la paso por wn xD)
w00t chile ftw
gf viper
omg poor car this is exactly what that dumbass needed tho hes obviously not a tourist, prolly drives that road everyday and knos that its always packed or backed up there was atleast several cars in front of that van so hmmm prolly an exit at rush hour such stupidity no skill a skilled driver (he should be with that v12) would have noticed how the flow ahead as far as he can see use his periphials to notice the line of cars , not slammed on his brakes causing a skid , and used the service lane for extra room stupid stupid stupid i hope he wasnt wearing his seatbelt either
“I’ve shown you how fast this car is, now let me show you how well it protects us in a crash…”
I guess the viper didn’t like the van.