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Head Or Tails
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fort!
You mean Primoris!
“Another customer for a Number Seven, Lucretia!”
it is the Roman god, Priapus.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus
I’m sorry, but I do not think there is any flaw in the picture posted on February 10. You see, historically speaking, the ancient Romans adored all relative to the body and, consequently, to sex. For them, the human body in all its fullness (if you understand what I mean), had to be displayed, including in the currency of the time. According to historical records, the more ‘spicy’ a scene displayed in the currency, the greater its value in trade.
You don’t really think the comments concerning the pictures and videos on this site are made from people interested in historical details and complex correlations … do you?
As I understand it, it was actually a coin which could be exchanged for the act depicted on it within the brothels of the time.
So you could quite literally owe someone a blow-job.
True that – it IS the coin to pay in brothel for the certain service. The denomination stands for the number of times the service can be rendered. More here: http://www.antiquanova.com/erotictokens.htm
Ummm … even that site selling reproductions notes that the purpose of the spintriae is unknown – the “brothel entry” suggestion is just speculation (based partly on some traditional ideas about Roman society that don’t completely stand up to scrutiny).
So, the coin’s “head” (hehehe) is the act and the coin’s “tail” (hehehe) is the number of times the act could be given, correct? Who kept the tally?
Which, the more you think about it, is one reason that particular explanation of their purpose has problems. Given that the phallus and other erotic material appears in all kinds of ancient contexts, that sexually explicit scenes appear on Roman sarcophagi, and so on, it seems not unlikely that these images are for erotic entertainment in a social context, rather than anything to do with brothels (just like erotic netsuke from Japan, and 19th century European cigar cutters, sculptures with moving parts to reveal nudity, etc.).
The numbers go at least into the high teens, BTW.
Prezactly my point. I think the Romans had “sex on the brain” in a multitude of ways, and this is just one more manifestation. Thanks for your thoughtful reply, BTW.
Well, societies that obsessively cover up nudity and sex are just as preoccupied with them as those that display them.
you sir are wise.
That’s a paradox. If a society does nothing about it they’re sex obsessed and if a society tries to do something about then they’re sex obsessed. :O
How is that supposed to work? You pay with one coin for 7 BJs at once? I admire your stamina if that works for you, but I doubt it works for most guys.
They got change?
I want one of my two now Dark, or I may have to ask for my $5 back.
I think nothing. I’m just telling that there isn’t any flaws in the coin picture. And, trust me, I’m not a person graduated in history or something like that. But I strongly believe that, if you want to make a joke about facts and all, be sure that there’s a joke about this specific those.
Eh, first sentence of that reply sums it up for me!
QFP: “I think nothing.”
Mad_Hatteress: Nope, my reply wasn’t for you… don’t worry
It just looked to me that you answered in a serious way to comments that are very far away from any seriousness. Sorry to bother.
Sir Kiebitz: Yep, I’m sorry, I know failblog is a site to make you laugh and all, but, you know, I simply wanted to share this knowledge I have. I’m sorry if I was rude somehow, maybe it’s that time in the month for me… LOL
Nevermind ..
wtf?
Sorry?
Yes.
Either way, this is a Win, not a Fail.
I beleive it to be a fail. =)
I agree with “Dark Fader”: At old times, you could literally owe a blowjob.
Ah, I wish we had those coins today. xPP
esp the fact that it’s gay sex – there is a reason the roman empire fell you know. Society had a LOT in common with our own modern one.
Yep, if society crumbles it’ll be because of the gays.
Sho’ nuff, it’s dem homeee-sexuals ah tells yas. It’s agin’ God’s good nature. Now where’s mah wife who is alser mah sister?
Seriously dude, don’t you think maybe it was the political situation which had more to do with it?
I mean, if you’re going to look at a rise in decadence and turn a correlation into a cause of the fall of Rome, have a little think about the rise of Christianity… And compare THAT with modern societies.
Peace.
Lead pipes. It was the lead pipes. Made them all go de-de-deee. HEnce the crumbling political situation.
Don’t drink the funny water!
Drat, and here I was thinking it was the candlestick or revolver, instead of the lead pipe.
It was always on the cards.
I thought you were going to leave this blog…
*skipsawaywithaquickness*
Just blew back in for another look.
#1 It looks ambiguous as to gender of the fellating partner.
#2 You just mocked a person for saying that pantheist religious morals caused a decline in society by saying that Christian religious morals cased a decline in society. Tolerance FAIL
#3 The Romans as a whole sucked at Christianity. It didn’t really do anything to change their society, it was just used as a bonding agent for an increasingly incoherent people. Think more about Roman Catholicism, maybe Eastern Orthodoxy and Catholicism, because it would be hard to find examples like Rome in countries after the Reformation. But yeah, I agree, it was the political situation.
Oh please! Spare me the “gays-are-destroying-American-society” paranoia and get a grip!
The Roman Empire fell due to barbarian invasions. Its decline is attributted to a lot of different economically related causes, none of which have anything to do with homosexuality. How would that work anyway?
For your information: The eastern Roman (Byzantian) empire also fell eventually, and that had at that time already become fully Christian!
the roman empire fell. why? cause i SAID SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously this is a website for comedic purposes. whether or not this coin isn’t a mistake or whatever that dude was saying…uhm…nobody cares. IT’S FUNNY! THAT’S WHY IT’S ON THE SITE!
Indeed. Not to mention that, while conventional Roman morality was always fairly censorious of sexual variety, adultery and perceived excess, it’s actually the case that the discourse is more open in the Republic (Catullus, Propertius) and early Principate (Martial, Petronius), whereas by the Second Sophistic Greek and Latin writers are presenting debates about the relative merits of different kinds sexual relationships, and it’s only the later and Christian empire that is seriously restrictive. Whichever of the various points people choose for when Rome “fell”, that happened several centuries after the spintriae were made and the most sexually explicit literature and art was produced, and in the case of the Eastern Empire more than a millennium later.
AV, can you please see my question ^^^^?
Seen it. Submitted reply. I don’t much go with the “brothel token” explanation for these things, and if they are related to the sex trade, the numerals are very unlikely to be about the number of times anything was done – could even be to do with numbered scenes in a source (painting, text, etc.).
Think I must leave this “fail” alone. Too many serious comments. Sorry.
i love how all of you say that its intolerant of them to say that its the gay societys fault and then act hypocritical in being intolerant to his view by slaming him for it. sounds pretty intolerant to me. and alittle statistic for everyone america is made up of 1% gay people. and the suicide rate for gay males over 40 is the highest suicide demongraphic because homosexuals are known for promisucity. i appologize for any misspellings for the nazi’s reading.
There’s a difference between saying that an entire group of people is going to be the downfall of America (and therefore implies they should be removed from our society) and people getting offended by it. If I told you that you should be removed for society because of your race, gender, or anything like that would you say “ok, since that’s your opinion.” OR would you want to tell them to leave stuff like that that cannot be changed and don’t really affect their lives out of discussions and to let you live your life. It’s not intolerance, it’s sticking up for themselves against someone who is saying they shouldn’t be a part of society because they’re different.
And btw no statistic can tell you why people commit suicide so don’t go around saying it’s because they’re promiscuous. We live in a society filled with promiscuity, not just amongst homosexuals. So how about stop trying to put forward your thoughts like that as fact. It could just well be from harassment and the fact that they’re treated like second class citizens in areas with most people being homophobic.
The Roman empire fell because Romans came to their senses and started wanting to live instead of spending all their time and money rampaging across Europe and killing people. Yeah, that meant they also had more time for gay sex, in addition to wine, women, games, and other fun stuff. Now, what again is so bad about the Roman empire falling?
dark fader answered the homosexual part of the empires crumble I think so I’ll leave it alone. But, if you would venture over to the website the picture came from (posted by himba above) you will see that all the acts depicted are between a man and a woman and from the first century a.d. (meaning after the time of Christ).
TROLL
They are performing a bloodletting… this guy just has a better HMO than most
First Roman Shower token?
so they had special coins to pay for bj’s?
Yes, actually
i have one for you, actually
Sexual harassment fail!
Sort-of. Roman brothels had tokens you could purchase that cost various amounts and could be redeemed for certain sexual acts. Like ride tickets at a carnival or how Disneyland used to be. An “E” ticket was the most expensive and got you on the best rides.
Here is an article on the subject:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2355/pay-for-play
So, did they get seven BJs for that?
Seven rides for seven brothers?
Maybe it’s just seven strokes…
For a receptionist who knows shorthand?
Maybe it’s for seven deadly sins.
Or the dance of the seven veils?
It’s redeemable at your local 7-11?
No, that’s where you buy your seven deadly sins, in a convenient seven-pack.
I don’t think the kind of head for which Seven is famous is at issue here … .
I’ve got it! It’s for a seven layer tossed salad.
MARIUS!!!!!
That comment has me in seventh heaven!
Ouch. That “Marius!” was 7 decibels over my pain threshold.
Sorry, I should have stuck with the seven wonders of the world.
or the seven thrills of Rome.
Call in the Magnificent VII.
To clear up your seven year itch.
Oh, this thread has me all at sixes and sevens.
Oddly, in the ancient Sumericanasian language, the number seven also represents a grilled cheese sandwich.
What are the odds?
*counts*
1…2…3…4…5…6…
…
Okay…where’s the 7th samurai?!
*points to the coin*
He’s the one in seventh heaven.
*Calls seven on your side*
I can count on you 24-7.
When things get dicey you can bet on lucky seven.
♫ There weren’t seven brides for seven brothers.
I knew I had to get rid of the others. ♫
rome was on seven hills. (erm…)
Some days are strange to number,
Some say the seventh sounds a little bit stranger
Seven centons.
Seven is the mark of Jesus Christ.
667 is the neighbor of the beast.
And a friendly neighbor, apparently . . .
Five is the mark of the pariah.
3 is the magic number.
1 is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do.
Seven With One Blow.
No flies on this one!
Seven rides for seven brothels.
Actually, we don’t know exactly what these tokens were for (and the number of verifiable brothels in Pompeii especially is much smaller than more lurid accounts say). It’s known as a “spintria” (plural “spintriae”), which a word for a sort of male prostitute, though that’s a modern name for these objects, not an ancient one, and homosexual partners are rare among their many and varied scenes. All have sex scenes on one side and numbers on the other, and theories about their origin and uses include a relation to ancient sex manuals (none of which survive, but which we know described positions), and that they were some kind of gaming token. You can see a rare homosexual one at
ht tp://www.harlanjberk.com/ancientcoins/details.asp?inventorynumber=64455&inventorygroup=cc
and notice the price it went for. The British Museum has one of theirs on-line at ht tp://bit.ly/9AMQEI
Isn’t this the rare homosexual one? I mean, it looks like the giver has a sandwich, too.
Even though one has a decidedly bigger ‘sandwich’ than the other…
Yes, it does seem a little … inflated.
But this isn’t “the”, even if it is a, rare homosexual one – the BM one and the one in that sale catalogue are both (different, and with different numbers) versions of male intercourse per anum and a tergo. Hmmm … maybe not quite as rare as some of the books say …
Erm… yes…
*points thumb at AV while trying to look like I know what I’m saying*
“I totally concur with him”
Sorry. Excess of delicacy. “per anum” is “via the anus” (remember the pharmacy label?), “a tergo” is “from behind”.
Also, ZA is right that I shouldn’t have used a short URL. Sorry. In full, that’s (switch “!m@ges” for the naughty word near the end):
ht tp://www.britishmuseum.org/research/search_the_collection_database/search_object_details.aspx?objectid=3023421&partid=1&searchText=spintria&fromADBC=ad&toADBC=ad&numpages=10&!m@ges=on&orig=%2fresearch%2fsearch_the_collection_database.aspx¤tPage=1
Could be, thought the position looks a little wrong to me, and same-sex fellatio is very rare even in the most sexually graphic ancient Roman (and Greek) art.
Ancient manscaping?
Hey, when in Rome…
… go greek.
But probably not Dutch.
Dutch? Neh.
Now, Russian is a whole different story…
What if you are in a hurry?
Brazilian is ok though.
Carib, will you take a Czech?
*pours ZA a cool drink to calm his nerves and anger.*
*shakes head at 5 eagles*
That’s not how he takes it.
*pours drunk into ZA’s truck and sticks a straw in him*
Have fun Zombie!!
*empties contents of truck onto road*
We wouldn’t want to make ZA sick now, would we?
*RIGLMAO*
Oh great, where’d I leave the duct tape now?
Hey yeah. What happened to JW?
Within a few hours, we have a comment from an expert on ancient roman fellatio coins. Only on failblog. FAIL ON!
Sorry ZA:
full URL posted up there ^^^ and clickie for a good way to check out short URLs.
Hmm, that looks useful. Thanks!
Yeah, thx! Installed the FF extension as well…
I find the extension makes browsing slow on sites like Twitter and FB2.
And I hate you, for being completely ignorant about there being a PREVIEW function for URL shorteners.
Come on: if I post a link, it’s up to me to make sure my readers are confident following it; not up to them.
That URL I posted can, of course, be previewed at
ht tp://bit.ly/info/9AMQEI
or
ht tp://bit.ly/9AMQEI+
But, but, butt giving another man a BJ doesn’t make me gay does it?
The ancient world’s version of chuck-e-cheese.
More like chuck-y-larry.
Heads! definitely heads!
FIRST!!!!!!!1
ARGGHHH so close
sucked hard my troll ‘friend’
no.. not even.. remotely.. close
Getting tail sometimes involves getting head.
I can’t believe I just typed that out loud!
i’m definitely telling ur mom!
Go ahead — she would be proud.
you’re pulling an all nighter on the internetz, what can she be proud of?
*THWACK!*
…RUDE!
I’m at work — it’s just after noon.
Besides, Mom is a bawdy old broad.
That’s the original derivation of BOB.
*Another spit-take*
*Cleans monitor*
Haven’t you learned by now? It’s never safe to drink and blog!
No, but I might learn some day.
Thanks again, ya alls.
Do you say the letters as you type them?
Don’t you?
I think you coined a new phrase!
Penny for your thoughts!
If you promise not to drop a dime on me!
No way, lil’ mush-man — you’re heaven-cent.
*hears Nickelback playing in the background*
I thought it was the Tokens.
♪ Ch-ch-Changes
Don’t want to be a richer man… ♪
Sounds more like Eddie Money to me.
♪I got – two ticket to paradise!♪
No, no…it’s Johnny Cash.
♪ How many times have
You heard someone say
If I had his money
I could do things my way ♪♪
More like Franc Sin-atra
♪ Three coins and a fountain. . . ♪
Oh, that’s so lire-cal.
I yuan to hear more.
And the Japanese yen to hear more.
Come on, people:
♫ Money’s too tight to mention ♫
Franc sure knows how to kroon.
One may say, he’s quite the Kroner…
He works well in dinar theater productions.
Dram! I should have scrolled down.
*Tips hat to FLB*
Taka very much. Once I pun, I don’t quid.
You people are loonie.
You’ve hit the Marc.
Phew. I was banking on your loyalty.
You can count on me!
Aww, I really treasury our friendship.
Friends like LGB don’t come by the Pound.
*squeezes da mushy and Jon*
Gosh … now I’m feeling all centimental…
Euro great person LGB.
*squeezes3Beezies*
Francly, I’m quite fond of you guys, too!
*squeezes all the FP’s who peso many compliments to each other*
*squeezes for the Mushy who’s hit it right on the (Deutsch)Mark*
*squeezes FP’s & takes them all out to Dinar* It’s Macaroni with Bacon bits and a side of Bread!
There’s penny of squeezes to go around! I curren cy why you’re getting so centimental
*squeeze*
Freshly minted!
It’s a toss-up.
You have minty-fresh breath.
In my experience, getting tail sometimes involves GIVING head.
It depends on your denomination Fluffy.
I think this one whizzed right by, unnoticed.
You don’t have to give currency to your own comments; we value your input.
Sometimes I worry my puns aren’t making the grade.
I find you rather punny. Though sometimes unlike head or tail, with humour, sometime dryness can be golden.
Fair enough.
Still though, it’s better to have a non-dry pun than merely 2/3′s of of one.
*gives Marius gold star and A+ for his puns*
They’re as good as gold!
Oh dear, this is not where I was looking to go.
I wish I could strike this thread from the blog.
Oh, bah humble!
*squeeze*
You are precious LGB.
*Squeeze*
Well, yes — that, too.
As long as everyone is a willing participant, why the heck not?!
…and of the tender age of consent.
yes. very important consideration.
And quite possible relevant, if I’m looking at that coin right.
second!
congratulations of failing. now, try not to be a failure during the remainder of the day.
or life
I don’t get the right part of the picture…
And I’m not going to say FIRST!
Because I’m not first…I noticed it after posting that comment…Fail…
Well…definitely getting heads.
I’d call this coin a win!
That is a WIN for the coin man anyway
Heads I win, tails you lose.
Head or tail, it’s win-win in my book.
So that’s why they call it “booty”.
♪♫ Shake, shake, shake!
Shake, shake, shake!
Shake your booty!
Shake your booty! ♪♫
*wiggledances*
Bootylicious!
*snerk*
*wipes coffee from monitor*
If I had a penny for every time that’s happened …
… I could replace this old coffee stained monitor.
…I could buy you a monkey.
No, but I would like John Merricks remains. And maybe some Kraft Dinner.
…but not a real fur coat, that’s cruel.
…or maybe a K car.
…a nice reliant automobile!
Or a Chesterfield or and Ottoman
(I love the band, they’re one of my favorites really, who else is excited for their upcoming album?)
We wouldn’t have to walk to the store!
(I’ve seen them well over a dozen times. I’m very excited about the new album. The single, “You Run Away”, is beautiful, though sad.)
I’d build a tree fort in our yard.
They have pre-wrapped sausages, but they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon.
(How do you whisper?
) Clickie. (Video for new single) The album will come out March 23 (Canada) and March 30 (USA) No Steve.
FlB: to whisper, put your text between <pre> and </pre>
Oh, and, FlB, don’t put too much text in your whisper
According to a documentary I saw on cable a couple years ago, this is a token to be exchanged for the specified services at a Roman Empire brothel. Language barrier WIN!
yeah, i got it right. what have i won?
One coin for 7 BJs by a male prostitute
I think this might count as a WIN instead
Weird Iconic Nonsense?
What I Need?
Wish It’s Near?
Want It Now?
Willingness Is Necessary.
Want It Not!
Will I Nibble?
I never knew Dragons and zombies had so much in common.
Oh, dragons LOVE a little nibble now and then.
…Apropos of nothing at all, have you seen the ketchup?
Apparently the ketchup will cost you £25, according to an earlier fails comments.
Gormet or regular?
I always keep some on hand for you. Not on MY hand, mind you.
Only the fanciest ketchups. Dijon ketchup.
That mustard something to the price.
LOL
~oh wait, we’re not talking about money anymores?~
The innuendo machine is working overtime on this fail…
I thought that thing died some 240 comments ago?
Nope, just had to put another coin in it.
*blog starts vibrating*
Hey lady!! Watch your finger!
*buzzzzzzz*
*sits on the blog*
What? Why are you looking at me?
Ahh! A flute player!
This one time, at band camp…
*SNORKROFFLE!!!*
What “instrument” did you play NS?
Did somebody have a fiddle?
I just play with the organ. Though it’s pretty drab looking. Anyone want to decorate it with Tulips?
I object to all the sax and violins.
Not accordian to your previous comment. But I won’t bass, my whole opinion on that…
Cello…? Is this thing on…?
*taps microphone*
We’re trying our best at the task of making these banjo(kes,) but it seems that the complexity of instrument names will ultimately trumpet.
It’s not Tuba[d], just try not to harp on the mainstream ones.
Hold on theramin(ute)! Yes, Shofar, we’ve only used mainstream instruments, but the complex names become more prominent with lesser known instruments. Not to call you a lyre, but that’s somewhat the case.
Woohoo!
I knew if I chimed in we might be able to drum up some more.
Hahahaha!
Hee! Hee!
Ho-Ho-Ho!!
Green Giant.
Poor guy, he looks awful.
He certainly has a big -erm member.
That’s bang on the money.
More bang for your buck?
I think it’s a power thing. The one recieving, (the one with the money) is the one with the large and powerful……um…….Oz. It’s a sign of domination. Either that or I need to stop reading Ann Rice. Could be a little from column A and a little from column B.
*nods*
Makes sense. And yes.
*tickle*
Wouldn’t a little from column A and a little from column B require a different picture?
And a few more coins.
Bang from your buck, you mean?
Actually, I was expecting a 69 on the backside of the coin…
That’s a coin of a different color.
Wait – wut?
With a different coin, they pay special care to the backside.
So this one is “heads,” and an entirely different coin is “tails.”
Got it.
Apparently so (clickie clickie)
Credit goes to AV for finding this one, I just stole it from above.
Hope you plan to declare it to the IRS, ZA. I have to, as I got that specific one from someone who reads Andrew Sullivan (clickie).
Everyone watch out, I may start throwing shoes soon, and I don’t want anyone here to get hurt as a result.
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE*
*then ducks*
*looks around*
Where is GWB?
Over the Hudson river.
On a billboard in Minnesota.
… and no — I don’t miss him.
So… he’s not in jail? Hrmpf.
Now now, if we jailed every politician who did something illegal, who would run the world’s countr. . .
*Calls poice*
We’d need a completely new Government.
And definitely NOT the BNP…
*shudder*
*gasp*
That word is UNHOLY! It shall never be spoken here again! They don’t even deserve the title of ‘party’! They’re only skinheads in suits! AAAARGHHHH!!!
*bursts blood vessel*
*collapses*
*cleans up BFF clone remains*
*saves for ZA*
The [nazis] need to learn to love their fellow human.
The world will never unite before aliens attempt to invade.
Two English Boys may not get along. When confronted with a Scotsman, in some variety of nationality war, they will unite. “We’re both English!”
Against a Frenchman, the three would unite. “We’re all British!”
Against [for example] an American, the four may unite. “We’re all European!”
Those 5 may unite against an African, “We’re all white!”
This is the unfortunate reality of racism, homophobia, sexism and discrimination.
Until the human race has something to say “We’re all human!” to, then world peace is never an option.
That’s disturbingly possible.
*wanders off, depressed*
Preach Brother Jon!!
Amen brudda!!
*nods head emphatically*
*munches on clone, trying to get all philosophical*
Cheer up folks, all we need to do is make the aliens invade already. I bet we can do that by sending probes in every direction as fast as possible, eventually we’ve gotta piss off someone out there.
Unfortunately, I think you are far too optimistic.
I can see an alien invasion happening and some opportunistic individual or group saying “I’ll give you the keys to the back door and make sure there are no guards. What will you do for me?”
ID4 would not happen. Shadowrun either.
Thankfully, not everyone thinks that way, and not everyone who does think that way acts on it.
Now if we could just figure out a way to implant senses of humor and common sense and logical progression and …
:[
*sighs*
*crawls back into “I want to be an optimist despite my natural inclination” suit*
*dons “people are better than I think they are” attitude*
Okay! So do you suppose that is a footlong?
TAKE-BACK —- W-I-N!!
*squeeze*
“against a frenchman, the three would unite.” so the scottish guy would team up with two english guys to beat up the french guy? away and chase yourselfs.
Probably Merkel.
*shudders*
Good night!
*squeezeall*
*goodnightsqueeze*
*closes shudders*
*adjusts Arthur’s idle*
*squeeze*
You’re “Grrrrrring” like a kitten now.
They already run it AE.
*Squeeze*
Watch that recoil AA.
Hopefully not s’error palin.
… well, not yet
*opens trenchcoat*
*shows his Americanism*
*runs away*
*click*
*hangs pic up on wall*
At this rate, you’ll need to upsize the vault.
No, she has my consent to take a few down.
Not gonna happen, my dearest B.
*squeezie*
Damn. Well, can’t bl@me a girl for tryin’!
You can still bl@me Arthur, though.
Just to be clear, can we bl@me ANYTHING on Arthur?
Anything AND Everything
Really?
Drat you Arthur!!! Kidney stones?!! Really?!! I’ll get you AE. And your little dog too!!
*squeeze*
Hope you’re feeling better, sweetie.
… poor arthur.
I know someone says this on every thread, but still; it’s a WIN!
*sigh*
*makes checkmark in logbook*
+1 for correct punctuation.
+ 5 for semi-colon.
- .5 for redundancy.
Still leaves him 1 up. I want to be 7 up. I like feeling refreshing.
*squeezies3Beezies*
It’s the uncola.
I am not. I’ve not gotten internet on my home computer and I can’t really justify the amount of time I’d spend goofing off if I were on both FB’s. I choose this one. I like you guys better.
*squeezeezeezie*
You’re such a doll. I mean, a doll in a good, figurative way. Not a baby doll…
I’m with you on that one. Actually, that was included in a question in my last interview. They wanted to know if I was a tree climber or a doll hugger. Naturally, I was hugging trees. I got the job. LOL
As long as you’re not a doll climber.
I’m sooooo with you on that, LGB!
I love stuffies (cute stuffed animals as opposed to dead stuffed ones), but baby dolls creep me out. When my little girl was super-little, I kept hoping & hoping nobody would give her a baby doll. I relented and let one into the house, though it wasn’t terribly realistic (thank heaven).
We could probably be generous enough to give another point or so, I mean it’s a complete sentence, everything is spelled right, punctuation is good … I can’t find anything wrong with it.
prove it!
mmk, that was supposed to be in smallish font. How does one achieve this achievement?
It’s the “pre” command, mushy. Use the less than and greater than symbols located above the comma and period on your keyboard. Put the word between the carats. To “close” it, add a backslash before the last “pre” within the carats.
Is that a complete sentence?
Fragment. Consider revision.
*kicks the p up a millimeter*
Done!
So I have or have not proven that I’m a terrible proofreader?
*cracks open a beer*
Well, I sure hope Mr. BJ there is of the age of con”cent.”
Notice that there are 69 failures in common, just something I would like to point out
this is a WiN!
OwO Seven! Seven Blowjobs, ah, ah, ah!
Your comment made me giggle out loud, and then snort.
@Ebilcat
YOUR comment made me giggle out loud, and then snort.
Did anybody else think of LemonDemon’s unnecessarily censored Song of The Count just now?
*I **** the spiders on the wall
I **** the cobwebs in the hall
I **** the candles on the shelf
When I’m alone, I ****…. myself…*
I’m fairly certian that you’re alone in that one Ferme.
Oh muppets!
Waaka waaka waaka!
Bork Bork Bork!
Or, seven people giving you a blow job. Would that make it an octosum?
Maybe. They better be hot.
…And female.
I bet if any Roman found this coin on the ground in the market they would be one happy man! “WOO! Look what I found, now I know how I’m spending my evening!” *chuckle*
Totally new meaning for “you poke, you pay”.
You stroke, you pay?
You smoke, you pay?
You choke, you la….er oops. Pay?!!
swallow, bbb.
Oh my…does that mean the word “pie-hole” isn’t actually what I thought it was??
It’s unclear…the person depicted on the coin might be the pied piper.
Question for the male FPs:
Why is this particular grilled cheese sammich your favorite?
Because that’s how we work.
Answer the question Claire!!
I know — it’s like, I thought I was going to solicit at least a more answers than this one — with a funny sammich theme.
It’s okay sis, at least you know how to refresh.
*goes online*
*pays 1,500 internets*
*enrolls Marius in Refresh Course*
Are you a tease?
Ask my therapist.
He nailed me!
I don’t even have a psychiatrist
But I would do it.
Yes, the sammich depicted in the fail, Scotty.
*shrug*
As opposed to other positions for a GCS? It’s not.
This should be a win!
When in Rome…
… go
Roamin’and get Blowjob tokens?Awww – I really liked that game.
Then again, I’ve never heard a male complain about receiving that prize, so I guess this is a compliment.
Way to be optimistic.
Don’t they mean ‘Head or Fails?’
Nope.
This is clearly a WIN.
so that token is good of any game or Ride? Oh yea.
NO WAY this a fail
it’s more like a HYPERWIN
why do I feel dumb for writing like that despite the fact that I’m right, at least this time?
(See my question above ^^^^.)
Dock -> Dictionary -> HYPERWIN -> No entries found.
Why do I feel dumb for looking that up despite the fact that I already knew it didn’t exist as a word?
Whoa! Those Romans were huge!
WOW!this is sooo weird!:P
I and I thought our new pink money was gay
*tries to figure out how money can have a sexual orientation*
Money lives. It truly does. One of my favorite authors explained it perfectly for me. If you don’t think it does, try to kill a $20. Just pull it out and rip it up. No? Most people won’t do so. Money has a future. No? Bet you know what you’re going to do with most of your paycheck, even before you get it. If it lives and inspires a desire in others, why couldn’t it have a sexual orientation?
Because its “life” is in the eye of its beholder (or holder).
Wrong gay, he meant his new pink money was happy.
I guess that Ige’s money is gay when he’s holding it.
Depends how fast he’s rubbing it.
This is a win!
This should be a WIN!
You can say that agin!
Oh wait, a bunch of people up there ^^^ already did.
You mean Katie wasn’t the first to say that? Gasp! Well, at least she’ll be the last. NO?!?
*~goes into convulsions~*
Um…can zombies take Marius’s anti-seizure meds?
It wouldn’t kill him to try . . . oh, sorry ZA.
*readies defibrillator*
Clear!
*waits*
Still flat-lining! Clear!
*waits*
Oh dear, this one appears to be dead.
He’s been like that for years, doc.
Just, nobody mention brainzzz…
oh sh!t.
I can haz braaaaiiinnnzzzz?
And I’m not dead, I’m just living impaired.
It took me so long to finally see the other person… for the longest time i was wondering what he/she was doing to that elephant!
*SNORK*
I totally see it!
Poor guy is wearing his hospital gown backwards.
Personal experience, eh, bro?
I’m with you on that. Having difficulty seeing anything other than a person drawing on an elephant’s trunk.
I figured the might have been minted when Clinton was in office…
The Romans didn’t have cigars.
Just as well. The wind from Africa would have blown them out.
I figured they might have been minted when Clinton was in office…
Temporal loop. Go back and start again.
Oh. You already did.
Disgusting… do not want x_x
Well, I guess we know Crystallia’s boundries now…
And a productive love life doesn’t seem to be within the realm.
i.e. “My plastic surgeon doesn’t want me participating in any activities where balls fly at my face.”
“There goes your social life.”
Movie quote, Marius!! Movie quote!!
Clueless.
He can be.
Oh…the movie!!
*Hangs head in shame*
Not a good day for me.
Pish-tosh. It’s always a good day on the blog when you’re here.
*squeezie*
I’m only as good as the company I keep.
*Squeeze*
*squeezes*
Water finds it’s own level, Cousin.
*wanders in belatedly*
*removes the errant apostrophe*
*wanders out again*
Clueless being the title of the movie.
An adaptation of Jane Austen’s “Emma”.
And a *squeeze* for you too Avis.
Thanks! *SQUEEZE!*
Well, I don’t think this will hamper one’s ability to have a productive love life. Just a more… interesting one.
Ya’ gotta have a lotta stuff on the menu, ’cause eatin’ the same old grilled cheese sammich all the time can get boring.
To say the least!
So that’s what they mean when they say variety is the spice of life.
…or, more appropriately in your case, ZA, the spice of death.
The spice is right!
Thyme for another savory pun-run, mushy?
‘Tis the season(ing).
Woohoo chive been waiting all day for another pun-run!
Oregano go all the way this time?
I don’t think I can help with this pun-run. I’m feeling kind of dill.
I’m peppered for whatever you’ve got, LGBeezie
Okay, but first I’m gonna put on a sweater. It’s a bit chili in here.
You know, you can be a bit of a powder sometimes.
Anise is a good example!
Cayenne I jump in here?
(Yes. I have a Southern accent. Why do you ask?)
Lol
It is costmary not to ask to join a pun-run, but since you did – by all means!
Sorry, not trying to curry favor, just not hip to all the subtleties here.
Once a run is salted, it takes on a life of it’s own.
Must be a full-time job keeping the pun-run breakers at bay.
Do you find it wisible?
I gotta see that movie again, it’s been far too long.
♪ Always look on the bright side of death … ♪
Nothing, Rodger.
Well….its not a fail? How is it a fail? this is like having two people kissing on the back of a coin in our culture…. fio senior serio…
yup…..heads
Yes.
How is this a fail? Learn some history — these coins were redeemable for face value… so to speak.
Hell, even if they weren’t, it’s still a win. I wouldn’t mind it if our currency was decorated with pictures of BJs. It’d certainly make paying for the bus more entertaining.
Deal…??? Who has the cards? What game are we playing????
Strip poker.
*sits on royal flush*
I’m all in.
Anyone for strip cricket? (clickie)
I prefer Strip PoohSticks.
BTW AV, I got you a present. Clickie to open!
Hmmm … they say you should be careful when clicking on lynx.
Dammit, the guy on Ebay said it was a helmet, I’m sorry.
If it’s any consolation, I Ocelot of money through that deal. That’s negative feedback to “ManInTheBlackHat,” for your future Ebay purchases.
I predict that one of our upcoming bonus fails will be a few entries from “Hacked in IRL”. Unless I somehow already missed that one.
Love how throughout all these innuendos no-one seems to have mentioned tossing the coin…….. so, who calls heads then? XD
Who said it was only going to be one or the other?
If you can toss it to get both good on you….you must be a good tosser
Um…so you didn’t get all of those “heads or tails” references that we made up there?
I only said that you didn’t mention tossing….thats all…..not the heads or tails business which you lot seemed to have covered pretty well up there. I guess other people arn’t aloud to joke around now. Fine. There should be a sign for new people. ‘DON’T MAKE JOKES – The regulars will get defensive.’ Thankyou for criticising me on my first post, you’ve made me feel extremely welcome.
That’s not a fail. Many historic pieces actually had a lot of sexually explicit carvings/paintings/sculptures… It’s exactly what it looks like. A blowjob.
~Really. I’m surprised. I didn’t know that.~
Maybe some politicians got what they were after. (clickie)
Amusing … but
.
*tilts head*
*doesn’t say whose*
~ Blowjob? I thought it was a person writing on an elephant’s trunk. ~
Ahhh, the rumored use of ~~~’s to indicate sarcasm…
It’s funnier when we don’t tell them that. By the way, any idea why my head is tilted over like this?
Ooops – sowwy.
I wasn’t sure if the brains would slide out. That is just your snack, right?
*carefully straightens ZA’s head*
*click!*
Fail? Thats a WIN all the way.
I just now realized — this is a perfect “fail” (though really a win) for Hump Day!
Woohoo!
I’d say that’s a win for the guy
Which one?
This is not funny. Think with your brain, not your testicles.
Thinking with your (own) testicles is a lot more fun…
More productive than thinking with someone else’s testicals.
Well, I only have chesticles…
Pure Awesomeness!
That’s not a fail. That’s an epic win. Roman sure knew how to make money.
thats two dudes!!!! wtf
Yep. And the giving one is helping himself (see his left hand). Inspiring isn’t it? harhar
Yep, and the giving one is helping himself; see his right hand. Inspiring? harhar
I keep repeating myself.*sigh*
My Americanism —> ((__!__))
Should’ve had anal on the back.
I think it’s only fitting that I leave a comment here.
Doesn’t the one receiving look like Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo? that should help date the coin
Yeah this isn’t a fail…this is more of a win than anything
Those Romans had a different attitude towards this kind of thing than most of us have, these days. There’s a scholarly book on it, called “Roman Sex”, by John R. Clarke.
John R. Clarke’s Looking at Lovemaking discusses the spintriae and gives references to other work on them.
Thanks. I’ll check it out.
Well, off to France now.
Seeya monday, FPs
*leaves behind plenty of squeezes*
I’ve got a penny in my bottom
What’s supposed to be fail about that? The ancient Romans and Greeks weren’t as inhibited and hypocritical as modern-day societies. You fail for not knowing that.
Yep… I agree..the coin is funny…but it is that ancient greek culture where men had their young lover boys
Apparently they wrote on elephants trunks too.
tail then head please
the ancient Romans were dirty minded!
Win ffs!
Thios is a HUGE WIN!
not fail
What prude decided that was a fail?!
That is total WIN!
This is WIN.
Okay, so you gave the coin. What does the one who got it do? Trade it for another blow job? ~_^ Would you be offended if he gave the coin to another guy? Not that I’m complaining but it’s kinda redundant. Some folks would do it for free.
I think it was more like you pay the cashier (or pimp, or Madame, or whoever’s in charge) and you’d say, “Give me a number 7, a number 4 and ooh, a number 12!” And they’d hand you your tokens, which you’d then hand off to the *ahem* service attendant. This works on a couple levels: proof that you paid for the services you want rendered, and if you were a visiting foreigner, you wouldn’t need to an attendant that spoke your language – they’d know you wanted the number 7 as soon as you handed over the token.
Plus, at the end of the day, the attendant would be able to prove their services to management and receive thier fair cut. Think of it as a sexual services receipt system.
If my girlfriend is reading this,
Please give me 50 of these coins for Valentines Day.
Thank you.
Fail is a misnomer. Free sex win!
This totally need to be changed from “FAIL” to “WIN”. The only way this could be “FAIL” would be if it were being used as an example of something where the sexual content was inappropriate. The very existence of a 2000-year-old coin from pre-Christian days from a culture that had no hang-ups about this sort of thing is not a “FAIL”. It’s just a ho-hum historical fact.
Brings a new meaning to render on to “render unto Caesar what is Caeser’s “.
I don’t get the fail here. It’s almost certainly a brothel token, and as such is totally made of win.
That’s not a fail… it’s romantic.
Seven??? I always heard that associated that with $3 denomination… (j/k)
VII = 7
IIV = 3
Didn’t you learn roman numerals in school?
The Romans used to gift people with coins with specific sexual acts on them. People like gladiators or politicians. Then they would take them to the brothels and they would get that position or act for the coin. I saw a few of them when I went to Pompeii.
i dont get the tails side,
vii?
vii is ancient Latin code for 7. The token means you were permitted into room 7 of the brothel for 15 minutes or so. The picture is what was room 7 prostitute’s specialty.
Why is such a clear win marked fail??!?!
This would only be a Fail in the prudish US.
The rest of the world views it as historical… and fun of course.
Another Fail Fail… somebody needs to be fired so we can get some real fails on this site.
First I had trouble seeing it (Screen was dirty) Now I have trouble unseeing it >.>
lmao. That was probably the funniest blog thing I could ever have read. Honestly, I don’t care about the historical facts. But the pun-runs definitely made my day. Lol. Just wanted to add that little bit in there.(:
Put your money where your mouth is!
CŌOL!
I see SOMEone Playing the skin flute!
7 blow jobs….. this coin is worth it
okay thats wierd because he was putting fire in his(her) hair
Im sorry but this so not a fail….it is a WIN! haha
I would say it originated in Pompeii…but there is no goat.
nice caption
There are several reasons to love the Ancient Roman and Greek cultures. This is not one of them.
I think this should definitely be a WIN!
UM THAT IS FULL OF WIN
SINCE WHEN IS ENDORSING FELLATIO A FAIL?
FAILBLOG FAILS
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I call for a History of Fail textbook!
Can I get a second?
mniam … mniam …