Sweater fail, graffiti win
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Nice!!!
Yes Indeed!!
Yes indeed what? That you will now cross that off your list of things to do today? Congratulations!
Ahem!!!
*taps foot*
How dare someone else do your job!
You mean LGB’s?
You know, you are very common in Romania, people keep barrels of you over winter.
Physick eyes.
eat me.
OM NOM NOM
He looks like one of those “God people” from “where no man has gone before” the second pilot of Star Trek.
What’s with the eyes?
They are lazers! *zzzzaaaaaappppp* hits 3dham right in the chest.LOL
what the hell do you meen?
who the hell are you talking to?
yeah there like all white
saur kraut tastes like crap.
Ha it tastes like someone shot it out there butt and put it on a platter
17 dollars
What’s with the eyes?
He’s so busy celebrating his prettiness that he’s going blind in the process. …
Is he sparkling?
*Burns model*
Here, have a
steakstakeFang you but I already have one.
I’ll have one, and make it a wee bit bloody.
Don’t forget your bottle with holy water.
And garlic; always garlic.
The cross!
I’m Jewish – think a Star Of David will work instead?
yes. but only if you get all 6 points.
You didn’t have to bite his/her head off…
I always thought something else made people go blind…
He is so awesome, he does it all the time.
Looking at a mirror?
Actually, what I meant to say is that no one is awesome enough for him to have sex with, which is why he only has sex with hisself… I need more coffee.
*pours Fluffy a ginormous cup of coffee*
*pours one for herself as well*
I should have said ‘While looking at a mirror.’
Scary kinky
in a carrie prejean sorta way?
Douche kinky?
You mean like… religion? ^^
It is a poster for a contact line?
Yeah, the name of the contacts that are on sale for $14.95 are is called Neck Tube… The shirt is just a coincidence ^_^
It is a warning. Wear something this hideous and you will go blind in self defense.
But what about us innocent bystanders??? Who will protect OUR eyes??? Are we all doomed?!?!
Just carry a torch with you.
I guess we just need to resort to the medusa trick and use mirrors.
I seriously doubt this could turn anyone to stone …
No, but it might make you cry…..
It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a neck tube.
The eyes are also the first thing I noticed: this is PsD material, as well as FB.
RIS?
Come on man… I’m having a dumb day. What’s PsD?
He’s a silicate.
Whoa, there’s still someone somewhere who remembers the best TV series ever.
yay! someone got the reference! really a shame that it ended so soon.
I don’t remember these freaky, oversized polo neck wearing bastards in either Cities of Gold, Red Dwarf OR Little Howard’s Big Question, so what the hell are you talking about?
Space: Above and Beyond – the silicates were the androids that replaced their obedience programming with randomized dice throwing.
Made me think more of the sequels to the original Dune novel where the count has melded with a duneworm skin – “the spice brings life – the spice is life”.
a what??? silly cone boob job I know but whats a sillicate?
He’s probably popular in Jersey.
The pupils will defeat the sweater?
Blank pupils keep the teachers away.
The jokes get cornea and cornea …
Don’t lash-out, AV!
Eye brow to your wishes….
*covers bum*
I’ll try not to vent my iris.
I’m too retinacent to get involved.
Helps hide the vampire’s fang marks.
It’s a fashion must-have for those seducing Twilight Moms, obviously.
“Twilight Moms”??
Is that some new sort of m!lf?
More like a new type of Cougar.
Will his face still sparkle?
Not if he looks like a douche.
How can his face sparkle without him looking like a douche?
Exactly! There are no ugly vampires.
I am especially fond of the pasty white skin.
I prefer the pastry white skin….mmmmmmmm…pie…
*drools*
I could go for some pie. You got any chocolate cream? Or how about a good lemon cream cheese?
Key lime….always!
B-limey!
They have special douche with sparkle now.
OT story: Can’t remember where I read this, but this woman was telling how she went to her gynecologist, and when preparing for the visit, she washed that area, and then saw a bottle of some kind of freshener spray her daughter had in the bathroom. She thought “what the hell” and sprayed herself with that refreshing stuff.
After the examination, the doc giggled and said “thank you for preparing for the visit”.
Only when she got home did she realize that her daughter’s freshener had sparklies in it.
*snork*
Bet it took weeks to get off!
Tantric sex?
Yes please.
So you want relations with a magicians assistant?
We’re talking about Jules k@. Of course he does.
Hey, I have standards.
Aaaaaw Jules. *pat* *pat* I was just playing.
*poke*
*poke*
*poke*
*poke*
Watch were you are poking.
:[
Sowy.
*click*
Don’t you believe in magic?
Yes, but tanned tricks are something that a ho does surely!
The disappearing snake?
Urban legend. You can hear that one just about everywhere. I think it’s even on Snopes.
Happy Moanday everyone. Here’s your friendly FailPeepette reminding you to not feed the trolls today and every day. *points above*
Now let’s make with the horny chat role play.
*SQUEEEEEZE*
aawwww… shucks. I’ll have to pick on the teabaggers instead.
That’s kind of shooting fish in a barrel, isn’t it?
sure
Here’s a fun fact: You made out with your sister!
*Squeeze*
WHEN???
On a trip to Europe.
ROFL! That’s one wild trip.
*squeeze*
I don’t know.
Pretty damn good lad!
*squeezes all*
*makes the coffee*
*sits down to hear the gossip*
*adds Baileys to coffee pot*
*sits with k@*
Did I miss anything?
Kahlua?
Yes please!
So the PTB now ban number trolls, bonus!
Really?
*scratches head*
*revisits number troll*
*shudders*
I see number trolls.
…..watch this space, well not this one, but that one up there!
*watches k@*
Heeeeee!!!
*wiggledances*
We kinda need to write the PTB to let them know that there are number trolls.. they don’t read ALL the comments.
They read them all yesterday, and deleted every single one from the postage paid fail! It gets a little borked from half way down!
uhhh.. I kinda wrote them an email with all the firsters.
“Kinda”? LOLZ…
Go Fluffy!
*removes pompoms from rarely opened trunk*
*does a little cheer*
*backflips*
It’s like when you are “kinda” pregnant.
*thankYouSqueezefluffy*
And we kinda “fixed” the “problem.”
oh baby… love it when you show us your pompoms
I think this is a particularly timely sentiment, sis. I replied to a Firster Troll on Friday with my usual, “Yes. Yes, you are…” schtick and it blorked the blog. Do not want!
I’m currently formulating a new reply for what Avis has named the “Repeater Trolls,” which are the sorts of comments that don’t get deleted by the PTB…
*squeezieLGB*
Prezactly.
*squeeziessweetieLeila*
I would just leave them alone. Giving them attention is all they want, so I think that ignoring them is the best policy.
Besides, like Dragon said, replying with the same reply to the same trolls over and over again kinda makes you a… ummm…
No, I was going to come up with some other schtick for the type of troll that doesn’t really think it’s a troll — the “Care Trolls” or similar. They usually only post once, and not for attention.
Then why respond to them? That’s like poking your “special” cousin or making fun of someone’s disability. It will only create ill-will, will undoubtedly cause some backlash, and you’ll only be amusing yourself.
Much better to just let them be and play ONLY with the trolls who have some entertainment value.
Besides…shticks aren’t funny unless they’re organic and grow naturally. Choosing one a-purpose or “deciding” on one seems…odd.
As if it isn’t douchey enough, you’re just buying the NECKPIECE (aka a Cowl) for $15.
Neck TUBE, please.
hehe… just typing that made me giggle.
Tube or not Tube…..is that a question?
No tube, thankyouveddymuch!
How about a Tuba?
Tuba red lipstick.
*decorates thread*
*two snaps up with a Z formation*
It’s FABULOUS!!!
you tube?
That’s not a lot of cash-merely $14.95!
Do you spend LOTS more to look like a douche?
Cash-mere…cash…mere….cashmere. See?
Oy Vey!
*sorrySqueezieToTheLittleMushy*
Hmmm.. I suppose maybe it wasn’t that good.
Ah well, back to the mushy board!
*squeeeeeze*
No. It’s not you. k@ got it VVV.
What can I say, I am a knit-wit too!
Oh, we know that.
*fleece*
*felt*
Awww tweed!
*squeeze*
We’ve got everyone linen up here!
We’re here for the hemp festival.
*Pulls the wool over eM’s eyes*
Okay. . . a little too little, a little too late.
*Tells another yarn*
Darn it, bro!
*A-Hem!*
Don’t you think that type of language is a little tacky in this thread?
S’knot so bad, FlB — I was just needling him…
Well, It seams you are pretty clothes-knit. Sew perhaps I “shall” weave well enough alone. Eh?
Not on my account!
BTW: Are you new here? Do I need to bring out my welcome sign?
LGB always leaves me in stitches.
Hee! Hee! Ow!
*poke*
*tickle*
Baste on previous knowledge you own me some internets.
:[
*pays Marius 1,000 internets*
:[
Awls right with the world now, bro.
Tanky Sis. I’m glad this chain of events didn’t cause a fight.
D’oh, I should have written it “shawl.”
Oh, okay I baste my assumption off of wear i thought I was.
Yes, I’ve been here for about a week. I have only been building up my pun muscles until now.
*orders sign from signage shop*
*waits two weeks*
*receives sign*
*plugs in*
*sparkle*WELCOME, FLB!*sparkle*
You’re doing sew well! Keep up the good work!
Oh thank ewe, I’m really tying.
Well, we all have pretty warped senses of humor here — if you don’t you’ll be weft in the dust!
I’m sure it gets more thimble as you go. I’m loving the general pun-ism though.
You’re really batting a thousand now, FLB.
I’m grasping for treads to fabricate more. My sewing knowledge is starting to wear thin.
Looks like you’re still bobbin’ along. Just don’t dart — stick around for awhile.
Don’t worry, Eye am as good as hooked, but a guy has to work some time.
Oh, all right. Press on, FLB. I’ve got a notion you’ll spend as much time as you can here…
This is quite an amusing thread you two have here.
In which textile loom large, it seams.
Has anyone seen my “s”? Thought it was there. For reel.
I noticed there been quite a serger in newbies lately. I hope it doesn’t cause too much tension.
Must be the same place my ‘have’ went to, AV!
@Ferme la Bouche you can always try canvassing the interwebs for more
Denim straight! I think I’ve cotton on! I’m good to go.
$14.95 should include some hair gel and stuff to make my lips pouty like his.
A smack in the mouth and swirly are included with purchase.
Isn’t there a difference between bloody and pouty lips?
*stares @ her bro*
That wasn’t for you sis, it was for the poster boy.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
*Squeeze*
*Thinks about giving up for the day*
As long as you only think about it and don’t actually do it!!!
*chains Marius’ leg to the chair*
There! Now he can’t leave!
*takes advantage of the situation*
*grabs wallet and takes CC*
*runs the heck away*
Muahahahaha!!!! It’s gonna be a spa day today.
*follows*
*Drags chair to sanitarium*
*Gets steamed*
*Springs from chair*
*I want to lodge a complaint with the poice*
I see only win.
I see dead people.
I smell dead people.
I poke dead people. :[
Granny pays for dead people.
Is that a sympathy poke k@?
Irate dead people.
~ ZA
I tickle, I get gunky.
I take dead people….to the mortuary.
I have sex with dead people. (See Video)
LOL!
*corpses*
Glaucoma? No problem! You can still buy our stupid neo-scarf!
Looks like it’s cutting off his air supply.
Autoerotic affixation?
Yikes! Somebody call The Police
*skips into lil’ mushmeister’s post*
*yoinks ‘l’ out of ‘police’*
*laughs maniacally*
*skips out of post*
*hops to edge of post*
“Aww, where ya goin Elgeebee..? Why don’t you stick around and hang out for a…wait a sec, what happened to my…?”
“Ohhh I’ll get you for this!”
*smooches lil’ mushy on his cap*
Aww, I was just playin’ with ya! Someone on the blog made that typo one time, and it just kind of stuck. So, now the “police” are “poice.”
But, if it means that mush to you, here…
*hands back mushy’s ‘l’*
*blushies*
Oh I remember, it was written on the side of a cruiser if I’m not mistaken.
Thanks for the ‘l’, here have an
Thanks! I’ll keep it as a badge of honor. I’m glad you weren’t gunning for me…
You’re welcome! I’m happy to sheriff it’s with the right people!
I suspect we’re all pretty much the right sort here…
I share that conviction. There’s plenty of evidence to support it.
You’re a good judge of character in my book, lil’ mushy.
Are you feeling down, maybe in a Depeche Mode?
Hey Ms Bee! Gees, thanks for saving the classic rock pun-run!
I try, but I’m only running at a Semisonic speed today.
Well that’s otay, there’s no need to Rush.
I’m afraid of making a mistake, I don’t have my Erasure on me.
We don’t care it is looks neat, you can Chris Cross the mistakes out.
It appears FLB has opened The Doors to 90′s music in this pun-run. I guess that [L]iz Phair.
As long as you’re a devo-ted fan of punruns, you can Blur the lines a bit.
Heck we are a new model army!
No Doubt! Though some might consider this to be Madness.
We’re an Oasis of puns.
It is a bit of a levellers to be sure!
It is our creed to fuel this blog with sublime wit.
To be honest, Ms. B did it with Semisonic, but I won’t take your accusations to Heart.
It looks like he is being swallowed by some sort of serpent to me.
A baby sand worm?
That explains the eyes. He’s short on spice.
Red eye removed, check.
Add text, check.
My job here is done.
The pose makes him look more of a douche. Major props to whoever wrote that!!
The graffiti was not even necessary for this epic fail; the picture alone is fail enough.
Redundancy fail?
Department of Redundancy Department?
Rio Grande River?
Back-up system.
Woah, maybe he can paint the future. Quick, someone give him a brush!
Is his name Isaac?
If so, he’s my hero.
Those eyes are making mine water. Make it stop! Stab them out! They are EBIL!
*pours extremely hot BaconLube on the douche’s eyes*
*takes marker pen*
*paints eyes black*
*draws funny moustache*
He already has a funny moustache. I think you need to draw him a better one.
Vampire Fail
No way… this is totally an epic graffiti win!!!
Whaddafu? I thought the PTB were deleting First Trolls — I see Henry is still here.
Don’t worry I am sure he will be Henry the Ate’th very shortly.
*Snickers*
*Steals turkey leg*
I can’t be the only one who wants one, it would be great to wear while fishing.
Actually, you probably are the only one who wants one.
*eyes A.D. warily*
Spent ten hours in the ER yesterday LGB. My youngest has a sinus infection and called from work complaining of a bloody nose, dizziness and chest pains. X-rays showed spots on her lung so they did a boat load of blood tests and a CT scan. Thankfully, everything can back negative (after ten hours of waiting) and she has an appointment with her Doc tomorrow. So the house is still a mess with both daughters half moved. *Sigh*
Oh noes! That’s terrible! I’m glad the tests were negative, though, that’s a good sign. Hopefully, she’ll be on the mend soon — and you can get your life back. One of the worst worries is having a sick baby!
*squeezesreallyhard*
*squeezes Marius*
I hope everything turns out ok.
Thanks peeps.
*Squeezes back*
Someone needs to circumcise his sweater.
Obviously not from the Kosher Kollection…
Something for a more casual occasion…
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/fail-owned-design-fail.jpg
Just the thing when it’s a little bris
…ummmm….
I mean brisk outside
Seriously, what’s up with those eyes? If he was my boss, I could not make eye contact with him.
When “can’t” you use a good eck tube?!
Neck + Tube = Noob?
My god … you, sir, have BLOWN my MIND.
He doesn’t look like a shower. Douche means shower.
BING! I’m sending my cyber boyfriend the hideous sweater in hopes that his eyes do that too!
Zombie eyes!
I absolutely do not call it a ‘neck tube’.
See, to me his eyes look more like that of the vampires in Forever Knight. Next I expect him to start flying like a Canadian Vampire.
:C :>
:; :-0
hmmmmmmmmmmm
Damn, i just bought one!
Snoods are actually really fashion forward and can look really cool worn right. So the graffiti is a fashion fail. And I’m not even being sarcastic.
Snoods are NEVER cool.
In fact, you could say that’s the whole point. Keeping warm is horrendously unfashionable pretty much forever.
You’d have to prise my motorbikin’ one from my cold dead hands to get it off me in winter though. (touches faux-wood desk to ward off spirits of “forgetting gloves and fatally crashing because of it”)
I thought a snood was one of those hairnets that were used by women in the Renaissance. That’s what they call them when they sell them at Ren Faires.
What’s the matter, those neck tubes ROCK! And Andrès is a hottie…the tag is a fail, sorry!
First thought…Twilight
I like this G Shock because its analogical style and so I can see the time with not glasses. Its ideal por senior people, but goes nice with young as well.
Wristwatches are SO 20th century, dude.
My god! That sweater is the doucheist looking piece of douchewear to ever hit the streets of doucheville.
wat.
OMG He is possessed by a deamon. These are Lilith’s eyes!
At least they spelled “douche” correctly.
Haircut: $35
Sweater: $22
Necktube: $14.95
Watching your dignity go down the toilet: Priceless