Headline Suggestion Fail
I suppose we all have our comfort levels.
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i feel so HAPPY
id watch that video
Me too
This person had to be on drugs?
is it in HD?^^
I can’t wait for the DVD…
I saw a cam, it’s to die for!
No, not really. People do get satisfaction off of stuff that seems a bit weird to others. This one is called Necrophilia. There are tons of other; Taphefil is people beeing turned on by the thought of beeing buried alive. Quite enjoyable to read about all these weird things:P
me aswell
I would fap to it, how bout you?
who could resist that video?
depends on how good the morgue worker is.
the corpses were always feeling satisfied.
Pro Tip: Change corpse when their noses start leaking
was it a girl or a dude?
dude. yer sick. get help. professional help.
oh so happy,
I feel happy and snappy and gayyy
…I don’t remember what’s next.
i would tell you but i dont know
its wrong on the face of it. its i feel pretty, not happy:
I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and gay
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me today…
nowhere in the song is there anything about happy
http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-feel-pretty-lyrics-westside-story.html
Yeah….. you’re gay Dwight
Being gay is not a prerequesite for enjoying musical theater.
Yes but it helps. BTW who uses words like prerequisite?
People who actually read?
And lots of straight men like musical theatre. Mostly because they know it’ll help them get into straight girls’ panties.
it didnt work for me.. Oh, and cleaning the entire house doesnt work either. FML
straight men who like musical theatre are liars… either about musical theatre or sexual preference, or shit both!
No, he’s Dwight Gay. Related to Marvin, brother brother.
agreed especially as he googled the lyrics XD
If you mean happy then yes he is otherwise I doubt you have enough evidence to judge him as “homosexual”
That’s strange, I’m sure I have heard it with ‘happy’…must not be the original then.
In the context of that song “gay” means happy.
And sadly, we have no other English word that means quite what “gay” used to …
We’ve already reached the point that you can’t tell someone they’re special!
the real fail is that theres a video
im glad you have such a firm grasp of the obvious.
ROFL, watch video.
yeah… we all can read…
Well, all except the copy editor, that is.
The link doesn’t seem to work.
Someone fix it… I’d like to see that guy having sexual intercourse with corpses.
*shudders*
Maggots are like natures ribbed condom
And they pop as you thrust! Yay refresher lube!
You spend too much time watching courtney love.
Well, considering all you have is a screenshot, it’s no small wonder the “link” doen’t work. The website’s name is three letters long (RGJ.com). How hard is that, really? And yes, the article & video are still up as of the posting of this message. That IS the best headline you can get with a crack-smoking loser like him. He deserves more, but his “other victims” have since rotted away.
City Morgue, our staff will stuff your stiff!
Caught on video. Stiff staff stuffing stiff snatch.
… with a stiff staff …
Sick, Sick Staff
……… sorry i have nothing I can add to this…….
omnomnom
onmonmon
I like turtles.
i like to watch videos of dudes screwing dead dudes!!!
an yea turtles are pretty cool to
woh ho ho ho I found me a new friend!
turtles can die having sex. when they fall off the partner and roll on their backs. poor poor animals
you do know trhat turtles lay eggs, rite? fail -.-
turtles have sex bro
they scream while doing so
named yertle?
An extra reason to avoid the morgue
“I’ve avoided it all my life”
It’s only inevitable for you to go there someday. *cracks knuckes*
how do u crack a “knuckes”?
Beat it with a crowbar
Only if they find your body…
hahahaha
Yeah, I love the fact that there’s a “watch video” link in that…
thats the point
It’s not a link, neither here nor on RGJ.com. It’s a literary/journalistic/internet suggestion that means “Hey, if you read my story, you can see the video I shot while on this wretched assignment!” Besides, you can’t put a video in a headline (code-wise) without really messing up your whole page. And for a website that has such a large archive, that would spell disaster.
No way really? me too!
He would have probably left the living ones unsatisfied.
Isn’t there a word for it, necrophilia (φιλία = friendship)?
*snickers*
Yeah, that’s the word. Although I suspect it depends on the techniques used – could also be sado-necrophilia.
Or, if he’s just pretending, psuedo-necrophilia.
And if it’s all in the mind, perhaps psychonecrophilia. But we’re not even getting started: if s/he dreams of the opposite sex, then psychoheteronecrophilia, of the same psychohomocenrophilia. Where AE’s “sado” fits in, I leave to you, dea
rd reader.“Philia” is the root for “love”, having a strong bent toward uncontrollable desire causing actual physical involvement.
Philosophy = Philo sophia = Love of knowledge
Philadelphia = City of Brotherly Love (root used twice, in “Phila” and “phia”)
Philanthropy = Love of mankind, usually charitable.
Philately = love of postage stamps.
You’re on the internet for crying out loud. Google it.
he couldnt get some from a living person so he diced to do some dead bodies man that guy needs to get a life
best fail I’ve seen in a long time
i cant belvi he would resort to that
lol. one of the best ever……
american loser
Foreign turd biscuit
Capitalist pig dog your sexy vehicles give me no pleasure!
Compared to what? A French loser? Oh wait they’ve been screwing corpses since the Marque du Sade did it. He made it “fashionable”
And they still have the Catacombs in Paris as their trophy case.
Dere wuz three comments her wen i clicked on da thingy DAM! Yall tipe dam fast yo i aint
I think my buffoon translator just exploded.
My black people meter is off the chart!
And I thought I was sneaky.
You are, like a silent fart
killing all in sight, leaving no clues, like a freaking ninja
Is that what that smell was?
*wheels out middle class gibberish translator*
Translation:
“Good Heavens! People on this blog post comments rather quickly. When I first began my reply there was only 3 comments, but now there are many more!”
*bows & runs before anyone notices*
*points* caught cha!!!
*changes some settings on the gibberish translator*
“Good ‘eavens! Blimey! Blokes on this blog post comments ravver quickly, right? Wen I first began me reply there were only 3 comments, right, but now there are many more! Blimey!
“
*tinkers some more with the translator*
I say! The commoners are capable of pewsting inane observation at a terribly fast rate, what? When one arrived to respond, there were just three postings, but the frequency has shot up impeccably! Lordy Lord!
*Tinkers a very little bit more with the translator*
D*MN! You guys type fast! When I started typing my comment there were only 3. Now there’s at LEAST eleventy-seven!
Just making sure very simple people could read it.
Does one more tinker on the ol’ translator…….
Bon Dieu! Les gens sur ce blog poster commentaires plutôt rapidement. Lorsque j’ai commencé ma réponse il y avait seulement 3 commentaires, mais il y a maintenant beaucoup plus!
Oops I think I broke it…….Desole!
Feeds the translator some amber liquid.
Strewth! You mob can’t half type. There was bugger all comments here when i rocked up, now theres heaps. I reckon i got buckleys chance of beating you lot.
*Kicks translator*
blab, blather, blubber, blurt, burble, cackle, chat, chatter, gabble, gibber, go on, gossip, gush, jabber, jibber, mumble, murmur, mutter, patter, prate, prattle, rant, rave, run off at the mouth, run on, spill the beans, sputter, squeal, talk foolishly, talk incoherently, talk nonsensically, tattle, trivialize, yak, yakkety yak.
♫Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little,♫
♫cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more♫
♫Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little,♫
♫cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more♫
♫Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little,♫
♫Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep♫
♫Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep♫
♫Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep♫
♫Pick a little, talk a little, cheep!♫
Now that’s music to my ears!
How did things go Coyote?
If ya don’t mind me asking.
ASK! ASK!! HOW DARE YOU ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT SUCH A THING!!! THE VERY IDEA!!!!!
They went fine. Since they already in there and could see the beastie, they took a larger chunk than originally planned. I was told of that possibility before hand, so no surprise. Now I have three bloody great holes in me to heal and continuous coughing. The coughing is a good thing.
How goes it in Galaxy Marius.
Since they WERE already… *oxycodone starts to kick in*
That is good to hear my friend. Cough away!
I hope you heal quickly or we may have to start calling you Swiss Coyote.
Everything is a whirlwind here. My eldest daughter is now engaged and moving out. My younger daughter is moving back in and the house looks like a disaster.
Sorry I was so forward Coyote, sometimes if forget this is a public forum.
If you’d like you can ask Dragon for my email address. Feel free to drop me a line.
*Hugs*
Tiana, niece number two, has just got her first job. Waitressing at a Denny’s. She’s ecstatic.
As for this being a public forum
Anyone can ask me any question. I might not answer it, but they can ask.
Since we exchange addresses through DW perhaps we should call her Post Mistress Dragon Writer.
Good for her. This is a tough time to land a job.
Mistress Dragon. *Snickers*
Time for me to hit the feather ball. I have more moving to do in the morning. Good night Coyote.
Night Marius. I’ll be drifting off to sleep soon myself. I’ve been awake a whole two hours.
“Mistress Dragon”???
Hmmm…. That has a rather nice ring to it.
G’night Coyote…
G’night Marius…
G’night Post Mistress Dragon Writer lady ma’am…
*yawns & patters off to bed*
Good times in dark cold places?
:S Can’t say that I’m into that sort of thing myself.
:s ?
Where’d the smiley go?
Sorry for spamming btw.
Okay…that video will NOT be stocked at DW’s.
Just sayin’.
*leaves a basket of Saturday-squeezes for the Failpeeps*
*trudges through elebenty inches of snow to take a Saturday-squeeze from the basket*
*takes 2 squeezes while nobody is looking*
*Replaces jam’s squeezes with sneeze*
*flees like the breezes and leaves more squeezes*
*increases the squeezes*
*looks at the squeezes and sneezes*
Jeezus.
*hopes the sneezes ceases*
*hides the rhesus*
*takes some squeezes but leaves the sneezes*
Thanks, but I don’t need any sneezes.
I will have some Reese’s Pieces, if it pleases.
*holds up Reese’s pieces and teases*
*Squeezes Moomin kneezes till he sneezes*
*Appeases Critter with Reese’s pieces*
*Eases the wheezes of sneeze’s diseases*
Good NyQuil all.
*Digs through all the remaining squeezes, avoids the sneezes, rhesus, diseases, and asks the ever important question:
did it realize it forgot to put the lotion back in the basket?
*squeeze!*
*takes a squeeze*
*leaves a bunch more*
Oo!
*takes a couple of squeezes for herself*
*Takes some squeezes*
*Leaves some squeezes*
*leaves a stack of squeeze i.o.u’s to be cashed in at a better time*
Tuesday?
That’s the hamburger day.
I’ll bet he gets a stiff sentence.
Yep, I’m sure the punishment will be long and hard.
I worst care, he will get life
In worst case, he will get life
(correction)
You should have chosen “correction” as your name for the second comment.
And you shouldn’t have broken a pun run in its infancy!
I strongly oppose pun-run abortion!
This made me *SNORK* in a most undignified manner.
*SQUEEZE!*
Have a nice weekend!
*SQUEEZE*
YOUR *SNORK* MADE ME *SNORK* – AND WAKE UP MY SLEEPING ROOMIES DOING SO!
I’ve been on that site. There’s no video or I couldn’t find one. I feel disapointed.
The corpse didn’t feel anything.
No, it’s there. I just watched it, about 16 hours after you tried. Maybe they had a surge from all the Failbloggers Googling it. The video just an odd angle from the side, in the courtroom, as he’s standing in prison garb & shackles, getting sentenced. It’s only 1:59 long, and most of the dialogue is transcribed into the text article beside it (the stuff they left out of the written article was just the legalities of the length of his sentence, which crime each term is applied for & other officious blah-dee-blah). The other men in the video (bailiff, attorney, et al) look VERY uncomfortable.
It should be to the upper right-hand side. I thought it was an ad at first.
wouldnt that be cold and dry?
You could use bacon lube to … errr … actually never mind.
Granny will be so sad he missed this one.
….Unless he missed it because maybe he’s the one doing the 3 years. Never EVER put anything past Granny.
Granny would never get caught, Just saying.
I heard the victims all died
This reminds me of a headline at cnn.com that said “Man kills wife and self before two daughters” they later changed it to “Man kills wife and self in front of two daughters”!
LOL wow your comment made me laugh so hard. Thank you; you just mad my day lol
congrats!!! now u can die happy
…but not be dead happy…
THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God Chris really….. do you even know where Sparta is?
ROFLMFAO!!!111!!!!!1!one!!!!!!1
His turn to play corpse . . .
Ya know, I think this may be one rapist who will be safe in the general population… I know I wouldn’t want to “touch” him.
I don’t WANT to watch the video!!!!
I wonder if anyone else here is DYING to see that video.
Wondering if everyone else approves of having (possibly gay) sex with dead people
like jti does
Glad you cleared that up, Jason. For a second I thought you were looking for a date. I think this might be the only way to actually bring up that specific fetish in a casual conversation. Kudos if you actually were looking for a date; that takes some guts.
Wondering about his foreplay technique. (just threw up a little in my mouth)
I believe foreplay would consist of a microwave (for warmth) and spit (for lube)
*just threw up a little in Mr. Obvious’ mouth too*
*twice*
I think my life will be complete without watching that!
When your life is complete, you may be lucky enough to star in that
Interesting use of ‘lucky’….
Interesting use of the corpse too.
how did you make that smiley?
If by “smiley” you mean avatar, go to avatar.com
Maybe hal2007 was asking about the
If your using IE. Just hover the pointer over the smiley and it will show the code for it. “:shock:”
Only works if the alt-text reader is fully enabled. Hal2007: Google “smiley codes” and you should get a whole bunch. You’ll probably learn a fun bit about coding while you’re at it. happy smiling
The police complained that the dead involved would not aid them with their questioning
Wow the nerve of the deceased.
Ya, their testimony wouldn’t hold up in court. They were too wishy-washy by the time the cops dug deep enough.
Wow. Wtf.
and they say blow up dolls are the best artificial sex you will ever have.
This must be the guy Voltaire wrote that one song about.
wtf you dumbasses its not the video of him/her having sex with it. Probably a news report -.-
The point isn’t what they actually mean, it’s what it sounds like!
As with the headline:
Man kills wife, self before two daughters.
They didn’t actually mean that he killed his two daughters after killing himself, but that is what they seem to be saying!
Even so, the headline couldn’t be clearer. Video’s up & running, BTW, and yes, it’s just a lame courtroom excerpt of his sentencing.
The person above me is dumb. How can a deab freakin’ corpse get an erection?
Oh, it’s possible. Can’t quote the exact physics/biology at play, but it definitely happens. And, Slim, there are a LOT of people above you. If you really want the answer to your question, spend your next lunch break with your local coroner. Not only will they confirm & explain it, but probably crack up at the memories when you ask.
Nothing like having a good place to hang your hat for the last time you’ll ever bow your head.
*Dead, spelling fail.
Idk. He confessed to several others, so “Deab” may well be among them.
DeadCorpsesAreSexy.com
*blushes* Apparently you are already quite well-versed in the ways of necrophilia. I’ll leave you two alone…
I wanna see it!
The RGJ (Reno-Gazette Journal) has earned it’s nickname as the “Gazette-Urinal” for a reason. As a criminal justice major at the University of Nevada, Reno, I’m embarrassed to admit that this is our hometown paper.
Ya, they haven’t had a decent reporter in ages, so if you’re looking for said job, I’m sure they’d be thrilled to have you. Tell ‘em Bryce sent you.
Though I must ask: Bryce, did you actually grow up in Reno/Sparks, or just border-hop for the cheaper Good-Neighbor tuition?
You know for that guy to get caught obviously someone must have walked in on him or something….. what excuse do you think he gave?
Uhhhhhhhh, it……..was her last wish?
OR,
OMG SHE DIED WHILE WE WERE HAVING SEX!!!!!!!!!
He should just tell them in court that she was asking for it by the way she dressed and she had a glass of wine before “the incident”
Not even that far. This guy has done this several times, only convicted of three, and only recently lost his job with the morgue. Therefore, not only has he been caught, and not only caught more than once, but at the same morgue, likely by the same coroner. I mean, exactly how do you interrupt something like that?!? AND AGAIN!?!
That’s so disgusting it’s not even funny.
Imagine if that was your body? EUGH. *shudders* Though I suppose you wouldn’t know the difference if you were dead….
or WOULD you?
I dunno I haven’t died before, but if you’re volunteering to find out I’ll support you
*gets in line behind UnhappyVegemite*
Ya, that’s the judge’s point. Humans of all kinds of backgrounds have their respective “funeral rites,” all (that I remember) of which are very respectful & dignified, even if a bit crude. You do what you gotta, not WHO you gotta.
“She left herself to me in her will”?
Fair enough too. The trolls are having a field day.
that we are…
fuggin lame
…like your spelling…
is there a law against that?
Yes, necrophilia *is* illegal!
About 26 year ago a woman in the Sacramento area was charged with it. Don’t know exactly what she did or how…. Don’t really want to know! :{
Depends on jurisdiction as to whether the act itself is illegal, whether the sexual element makes it a specific offence (as opposed, for example, to a general “unlawful intereference with a corpse” type offence), and how serious it is considered. For obvious reasons, it’s behaviour that might well not come to public attention.
Necrophilia WIN!
This shouldn’t be on fail blog.
If they posted the actual video of him in the act, that would be cause for riot. But we’re not trying to promote necrophilia here, were just gauffing at the journalist’s choice of title. Considering where he works & the reputation he could have gotten with another title, I think he’s done as well as he can, considering the bredth of the story he was assigned to cover: “Wait, chief. This guy did WHAT?!?” Kimball is a man’s first name, ya?
that’s pretty horrible… and disrespectful… nonetheless FAIL.
I don’t want to watch the video
Man he must have been pretty desperate to sink that low.
yeah, since no body alive would even consider doing him he had to do a dead body. omg he is so desperate
I think it was as low as 6 foot under
OOH! LAME PUN AWARD!
O___O
{ LP }
][
trophy didn’t come out right, retry…
O_____O
{ LPA }
]X[
freaks.
Only in Ohio. Good thing the reporter did his job from 2 timezones away.
haha. freaks.
yeah he liked it a bit freaky too
I once shot a man in Reno….. Just to (screw his corpse)
and i bet you did it with his back turned!
> woo first?
No, that’s not necessary when they’re dead.
I went and googled this. I really wish I hadn’t!
You wouldn’t think a story like that could get much creepier, but he can. How? Are you sure you want to know? Well it seems the dead women he had sex with were all murder victims! Gah! That’s just horrible.
Ya, and one was bloody & five months pregnant with her head nearly cut off.
You started it…
maybe he likes a bit o s&m?
Okay I’m moving out of Ohio….
OOH! Move to NV! I hear they’ve got an opening at the newspaper.
i want one!
Can I buy a noun?
nothing like a cold slab of meat
That’s a nice blog
Code blue!
The “FAIL” font needs to be bigger on this one. Nasty.
We wanna see the video!
WOOOO RENO REPRESENT!!! lolz
*cricket chirping*
OHIO REPRESENT!!!
Nothing like cracking open a cold one.
Oh god…..
I wanna see that.
A cheap date!
Also brings to mind the old “Stiff Stuff” hair gel ad – if it ain’t Stiff, it ain’t worth a f**k!
My commercial!!! pam bam bam bam YES!
coming to DVD and video near you!
omg, this is our local news paper website here in reno… omfg I never saw this anywhere in the news!! lolz
i dont know whats worse the fact that this guy had sex with corpses or they encourage you to watch the video??
Put this on Probably Bad News, Please!
id watch that video
If he had 3 bodies, it would be a THREESOME!
this is beyond disgusting.