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Baron von Moonshausen.
Johann Gambolbooty.
We have a winner!
We have a wiener!
..of Ulm
Comment win!
Count von Pissmark.
Baron von Munchassen
hope it is on a school
Lord Cheeky Derriere
Baron von Bonelickah
Moonshausen by proc-see?
We’ve all tried it. Konrad almost sucked his own dick. He just got it in the end
Goatsie! It’s on the wall!
You mean Sir Bendalot Selfelatio
Second !
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…….\llllllllllll,-~*…………………)_-\..*`*;..)
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……../…/…/…/ o ).*~,.`*~*…………….*…\
…….|…/…/…/.*`…\………………………)….)¯`~,
…….|./…/…./…….)……,.)`*~-,…………/….|..)…`~-,
……/./…/…,*`-,…..`-,…*`….,—……\…./…../..|………¯“`*~-
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Picard doesn’t have that much hair!
hmm… gross
Now I’m horny
We won’t forget you Konrad!
Ha! Mooning the world one drunken, dusty tourist at a time.
Go Konrad!
Hmm… It looks like something my brother would make.
Strange yoga positions
hahaha, cologne rules :>
i like my city
Do you know why he’s depicted like that?
DUH! cologne?? world capital of colognoscopy???? is in honor to all those brave pacients..
*snork!*
Something aboput people in ancient europe believed that such a pose on a church would keep the evil outside.
“outside”, you say? I thought it was an invite from the priests…
He attacked the church builders and chief at the time (~1200 ad). That may be a nerd revenge.
He laid the cornerstone !!!!
Was it in the northeast corner?
True nerd revenge wouldn’t have made his cajones so large.
Cojones… Cajones means drawers… the kind in your dresser, not ur pants… lol
And he wouldn’t have succeeded in reaching his head. He would forever be stuck & frustrated, thereby frustrating the rest of us.
He’s not depicted that way. It’s just the base of his statue. See clickie.
Nuh huh!
It’s ok.
Thanks! That’s even better – more subtle.
Where did that statues go?
Maybe taking a dump? Or could not stand the incompetency inside the town hall and took flight.
Yup, often medieval shrines and churches would depict lots of different sinful or unlawful sexual acts both to attract the interest of passersby (the unspoken intention) and to remind people what they should NOT be doing; also, it was symbolic of the purity of the church itself because as soon as one went INSIDE the church the sexual imagery ended and the religious imagery started.
is it on the outside of the dome of cologne?
it says that his actual tomb is inside
http://www.koelner-dom.de/16680.html
weird xD
maybe i´ll have a look later
Well, the Name is engraved on the outside of the church, the tomb or better the casket is inside. But name and sculpture are not connected. As you all may know, stone sculptures on churches were often used for propaganda, especially against muslims and the Islam – as seen on many churches in Spain, France…
Well, I forgot: it’s neither fail nor win. It is just a piece of history.
Ah, that’s from Cologne?
I thought it was Assisi.
What building is this? And more importantly, is that guy attempting to put his head up his own ass, or fellate himself?
It’s Prince, that’s his symbol.
He was an archbishop, so the answer to your question must be ‘yes’.
do you think he was trying for pope?
Please! A pope doesn’t perform self fellatio. He has his servants for that.
The end is near,
time to kiss you a$$ goodbye.
Double jointed WIN!
he died in that position
He died happy then.
or frustrated…
Very
Very
frustrated…
first of all, sry for my bad english :/
there is also a story behind this sculpture.
the stnecutter was paid for his work from konrad.. so he curved this sculpture as revenge.
Moment… er wurde von Konrad bezahlt, oder er wurde NICHT bezahlt? Letzteres würde es ja erklären…
That doesn’t sound like something that requires revenge. What’s the story?
sry..
well, i meant, wasn’t paid for his work..
Ach so. Danke!
This is located in Cologne (townhall) and shows the former archbishop, who build the dome. He was hated because of pressing people to work, but famous too. So he got this kind of monument. Btw, Nero has a monument there too.
…So you’re saying he was a bit of a hard-ass?
The city of Cologne was named after his colon.
this picture was taken from inside a copier.
Hehehehe
Doch.
I wrote exactly what I wanted to write.
You have serious anger issues. Seek help.
Ooooh! What an insult! Masterfully!
Writing/Speaking in German doesn’t make you stupid.
Sackjeseech!
Why don’t you use one of your five magics and make yourself disappear?
You don’t seem to understand the definition of a threat. Here, I’ll show you…
“Sod off before I send for Judy’s ET finger.”
Now that’s a threat!
A promise to some…
Nonono. If we were threatening you, it would sound something like this:
PISS OFF OR DIE!!!
But we didn’t.
You obviously don’t read many books.
Oh no Jam, you didn’t!?!
Just wait ’till the moderator sees your hateful comment!
hehehe
Oh alright, just don’t let him stay up loo late.
Yay! Thanks mom!
Bah! t^
Momt?
Mom Tea… NOW!?!
I can’t help myself, he really makes me laugh!
Hmmm. That one was a little confusing, but still mildly amusing.
Oh, he’s not funny anymore. He’s trying to be profound.
:confuzzled:
Wow, just wow guys.
*muffled giggles*
I wonder why he assumes I have several heads.
Are you hydrated?
K@, are you calling me a g(r)eek? Wait ’till the moderator sees this!
The moderator’s not gonna do shit! you’re stupid!
I think the moderator must have, because from reading a bunch of Arthur Eld’s posts one after the other, I can only concluded that something is missing…
You concluded correctly.
*sticks gold star on tsukitenshi*
’sall greek to me! *shrugs*
Yay! Much better.
Sam? Is that you?
Get an avatar, loser!
We > you
*stands by, waiting for command*
Aaaaand… ACTION!
*sneaks up behind annoyance*
*attempts to use new E.T. finger*
Uh, guys? I can’t do it. There’s a potato in the way. Maybe even two.
*hands Judy a potato masher*
Try this first?
He must have been short on pineapples then. Goddamn recession!
*looks at potato*
*looks at masher*
*!magines process*
On second thought, I don’t really want to go there.
Maybe you are right….
You don’t really want to touch it, at all, ever….
OMG! This thread is seriously cracking me up!
♫ Five is the loneliest number… ♫
Sweetie, get ahold of yourself. You’re going to go to pieces if you keep that up.
*attempts to seal cracks with silly putty*
*pulls self together*
Thanks, sis! I don’t know what I’d do without ya!
My nerd rage senses are tingling
Bit pissy today, are we?
Actually, I look like this all the time. Sorry ’bout that.
So what’s your excuse, then?
Doch means ‘on the contrary’ in German, and was the perfect response to your statement of it not being funny.
Seek counseling for those anger issues, please.
sorry for wasting your time.
please give me your address and i will come by and i will excuse for a comment you think about it, that it’s not funny.
furthermore i will hug and comfort you beacuse you must be really disappointed because of reading an unfunny coment on failblog.
get well soon!
Bit emo today, are we?
oh no you didn’t
)))
bit retarted today, are we?
You think that’s just today?
You’re welcome!
These 5-ers all suck somehow.
where is the moderator/mummy?
@ Arthur:
Massive Snork!
ALL? Really? I see one.
And not a very creative one, either.
It must be lunch time for you now. Are you still on the breast milk?
Good! Bite her hard, just for me.
Fivemagics, I just wanted to say that you have a very interesting family.
A wrestling lawyer for a father and a brother with Down’s Syndrome. If you please, tell us about your mother. I’m sure she is just as interesting.
…Erm, I think you will find they are all “magic”, *wink wink.
LOL UR BROTHER HAS DOWN SYNDROME LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLL he must have a stupid face going on 100% of the time.
“Fivemagics says:
February 4, 2010 at 1:57 am
No it wasn’t. And that wasn’t funny.”
quote end
YES YOU FAIL!
btw, u really amuse me
Actually this picture was take from inside my camera.
She/he was referring to a previous fail. Check the main page, “Copier Win”.
thx arthur for explaining.
and i really love fivemagics – 17year old frustrated, with money and lawyer dad (mine is baker btw, a job with a sense) but no friends
I wonder, what did Konrad do to deserve this?
Oh, late
Looks like he stiffed the sculptor.
Ha! A fruit bowl that Butters would be proud of.
This is Köln in Germany. The sculputres are therfore to remember 800 Years ago the middleage. There are no Toilets and the People have just done what you are seeing here.
wtf? In the middle age, arch bishops used to sh* from houses with their … in the mouth?
Lucky bastards!
Only in Cologne. They’re kinda.. special over there.
Looking at more of the statues on that building, I’m inclined to agree. What a freaking mess the statuary on that building is. Really good ones next to horrible primitive ones…why? Was it some sort of make-work program for sculptors?
Yikes.
Das ist nicht dein Ernst, oder? Jemand hat weiter oben schon erklärt, dass der Steinmetz den Erzbischof aus Rache so dargestellt hat, weil er ihn für seine Arbeit nicht bezahlt hat.
LoL, typical Kölle … We have the Brückenmännche !
WIN. Definately
I bet he’s Riele Hard.
Götz von Berlichingen WIN!
OT: Check this Engrish funny out, it made me laff.
ht tp://engrishfunny.com/2010/02/03/engrish-treat-potato/
You mean it made you LOL.
My dog died:((
Oh, jam, don’t treat me like a potato!
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rathausturm_K%C3%B6ln_-_Konrad_von_Hochstaden_-_Gerhard_Unmaze_%286143-45%29.jpg
Thats the picture WITH the sculpture on it. They had to be taken down to get repaired.
So the ass is just the socket whe the statue stands on, it was quite common to use disgusting images for that, to scare away ghosts…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konrad_von_Hochstaden
800 years of Mooning the world !! WIN !!!
EPIC WIN!
Same picture with the statues on their base is on wikimedia
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rathausturm_K%C3%B6ln_-_Konrad_von_Hochstaden_-_Gerhard_Unmaze_%286143-45%29.jpg
FACEPALM
Then check the name fail on the statue to the left. I’m sure someone could have picked it up if they changed riele to really and added a ?.
I know you’re trying to be smart, but you’re just being stupid. The picture is legit, as confirmed by the wikipedia image linked earlier. The rest of the name is on the other side of the building (I’m guessing it’s Gerhard von Riele or some such)
Auto-fellatio is a common theme in medievil gargoyles:
http://img170.imageshack.us/img170/497/detalhes05zi7.jpg
Fake at least I think
Think again.
You’re implying he thought once.
Calling this a ‘fail’ is just stupid.
Stuuuuuupid.
Woot! Made the wikipedia!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konrad_von_Hochstaden
Ahem (clickety)
Real – http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8d/Rathausturm_K%C3%B6ln_-_Konrad_von_Hochstaden_-_Gerhard_Unmaze_(6143-45).jpg
A Marylin Manson hommage… wait… too early don´t know how to translate this and keep the meaning…
“Vorbeugen hilft”
help please^^
the guy can suck his own balls? omg this is great!!!
Schwäbischer Gruß – Swabian Salute
Perhaps the idea which is expressed in the literal meaning goes back to ancient magic conceptions that turning the bare bottom towards a danger or unwanted person (a demon, a witch, a curse) will work as a protection spell. Also, a reference to the feudal homage kiss could be recognized. Stone depictions of this act can be found on gates and walls of medieval buildings such as castles, town fortifications, monasteries and even churches in south Germany (not limited to Swabia), Austria, eastern France and some other places in Spain and Italy.
so it isnt Konrad? Im a little disappoited…
And apparently it’s not in Cologne.
lol you are full of it.
These are only pedestals.
The sculptures have been removed to repair them.
Maybe it meens that Konrad doesn’t give a piece of shit about your opinion?
actually this picture shows not konrad von hochstaden. he probably has been removed for renovation. see here for the whole picture.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konrad_von_Hochstaden
This article has a link to that picture!
A better image from wikipedia:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/8d/Rathausturm_K%C3%B6ln_-_Konrad_von_Hochstaden_-_Gerhard_Unmaze_%286143-45%29.jpg/400px-Rathausturm_K%C3%B6ln_-_Konrad_von_Hochstaden_-_Gerhard_Unmaze_%286143-45%29.jpg
This is clearly an Epic Win
i wish i could do that.
You can. Only once and you won’t have fun; but you can.
obvious intended win. Still epic.
i like it… i call this a win… actually i want it as my headstone when i die… maybe not the whole balls in the mouth thing… but deffinatly the mooning statue
There’s a carving like this at Carnegie Mellon University. An art PhD student carved a series of stone niches on a building, each in a totally different architectural style. He went a little further: there’s actually a hole in that one (into which pencils and such have been helpfully inserted by well-meaning students).
Wow. Looking at more of the carvings on that building (Rathaus) it seems Minnie Pearl was secretly German. O.o
We got Goatsee’d by the 16th century.
The more you look at Gothic architecture or other ancient cathedrals you are bound to find a ton more of these. Some which are far more graphic than this one. The whole point of these images was to show religious pilgrims the sins which they should never commit. Its art history people.
Isn’t that in Freiburg am Breisgau, Germany?
The moral of this story: never insult a stonemason.
lol…..can’t believe that
Any time where any man can suck his own c0ck is a win in my book. Also, that’s not gay… unless you have another c0ck up your ass.
i fartz in your gen’ral direkshun!
This ain’t no fail… it’s a huge WIN
Cologne! I love that city. It’s no long time ago I was ther for a brewery-tour. Same time I saw this little man but I can’t remember why he’s showing his ass
typical…
have pictures of that but then demons that grab there boobs or demons that are masturbating …it’s funny x) teacher told me that people did that because they were simply bored
is not sh*ing at/on tourists or ghosts, is Konrad von Billygoat. Can’t believe you guys haven’t seen the movie waiting. it’s clearly defined and there’s a perfect example
I read every single comment on this thread up to this point o.o
Wth, my comment moved way up o.O… It should be way down @ the end.
looks to me as though he was well known for his autoerotic abilities…
This is a fake – photoshop
Key in “Koln” and “Rathaus”. That will bring up links where you can see the building pictures. It’s real.
Dat is net dat Kölsche Jemüt. An Karneval poppe mer opp der Stroß, ever sujet dähte mer ned an der hillije Dom.
LMAO i know someone who can do that
great danglers…
Damn, a statue of a man sucking his own dick on a church wall… That’s definitely a WIN
That’s such a WIN !!
This is very common in Gothic art. Come to Spain and admire our Romanic and Gothic architecture!
No Fake!! Here is the complete picture.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8d/Rathausturm_K%C3%B6ln_-_Konrad_von_Hochstaden_-_Gerhard_Unmaze_%286143-45%29.jpg
I call that a mega win. How much more win can it get than leaving behind a sculpture that will moon passersby for centuries?
THE GOAT!!!!
We all now get kicked in the ass
goatse is always a WIN
This is what I want for a tombstone!
I believe this is in Italy. They have these on a lot of buildings and chruches, They also have some that are pooping in buckets and having sex with animals. :]
Spain I mean. Sorry*
Italy, Spain …who cares as long as it is all in France.
Nein. Deutsch.
(They are all German names.)
where is this from if it’s even real?
The statue of Konrad actually sat atop this “console”. Not sure why the statues are missing in this photo. Wiki has a picture of the three with the statues placed on top. (Search on Konrad’s name)
The text along with the picture states that the name of this statue base is „Kölner Spiegel“ (“Cologne Mirror”). So SOMEBODY thought the city was just like someone’s butt! LOL
He’s called an anus shower. He is for protection from evil. If you love him you’ll love sheela- na- gigs.
auto-fellatio for the win!!!
that’s no fail, it’s pretty common in european churches and cathedrals
GOOOOAAAATSEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
I see that the guy who made this has more of a sense of humor than some people in the interwebs!
Hee!
Actually it’s a grave marker for an archbishop in the 1200’s. Makes it even better man.
Sir Otto Phalashio