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It works if you stick to it!
Sounds like hard work to me.
It helps to be with others who share the same opinion.
up the bum no babies
Inconceivable!
It reminds me of a joke that I loved.
*work system crashed so I’m back*
Woohoo!
*Boppitysqueeze*
*Gracie squeeze*
Woohoo indeed!
No pregnant pauses in THAT conversation.
I’m pulling out of this conversation.
Pill-ease! We like to have you around.
Yeah……….we soak up your humor like a sponge.
Fine. Far be it from me to break this rhythm.
I think he’s just ovary-acting.
I think it’s just a (Depo) shot in the dark.
That was good, Scott, but…next time speak from your diaphragm. You’ll get more projection that way.
I love the way you guys (contraceptive) gel together.
Let me try again.
*heh-hem*
Are you sure we should condom this kind of behavior?
Could you hear that better?
Way to let your voice ring out Scott.
He has a voice ring? How does that help?
It has to do with Freudian conceptions of the ego and the i(u)d.
It’s very neuvo, that ring.
Indeed, he’s becoming known for his oration.
I’m not sure how well it’s working though. I’m still going through a rough patch.
Oy.. my virgin ears are bleeding…
I’ll abstain from commenting on that.
just have to understand people all have different Lifestyles but when its cums down to it we are on the same boat…like seamen.
Sickening.
Well time for me to head home. And with the rain here, I’m going to get Wet. Astro Glide out. See you all soon, KY?
Or more like seamen on his poopdeck rather… Puns aside, I find all of this a bit hard to swallow. If it’s all for legal reasons, I hope the defense attorney issued a gag order so as not to provide self-incriminating evidence. I’m sure the bloke would be happy once it all blows over. I’m just praying to God he doesn’t violate any penal codes. Goodnight everybody!!!
^
|
Epic Fricken Win
WIN!!
Cute valentine’s avatar, Nightshayde!
Thank you, Mouse!
That’s how I do it! Woo!
Well, presuming it is a job enquiry, what the hell does this have to do with anything?
Um…job inquiry??
What the heck kind of jobs have YOU applied for? Are you often asked about your contraception methods in your job interviews?
Awkward…
I’d check “Other” and write in Nonya Bidness.
Awkward indeed. We didn’t need that, we wanted a urine sample.
*snork*
Reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy bit…
And thanks to Larry the Cable Guy, I’ll never think of the phrase “knock wood” the same again!
But how many medical forms ask that many questions about your employment? Look at the questions at the top of the image.
A lot of medical forms ask about employment. Here in the States, anyways. Where is the resident doctor, anyways? He can tell us why they do that, and why we need to turn our heads and cough.
Probably too busy telling people that per doesn’t have more than one correct interpretation.
*ROFFLE!*
*Snork*
It’s planned parenthood. They ask you your job to see how much they should charge you.
Oddly enough it might be, the section above it asks about previous jobs.
I’m guessing that it’s a questionaire from a Dr’s office.
Uh don’t want to sound as a vocabulary nazi…but enquiry is very similiar to inquiry. Inquiry = more to do with a detailed report on sth, enquiry = more asking about sth. which is what we’re looking for.
Studying English pays off, finally.
I don’t think she was correcting you, Jason, just wondering why you thought it was about a job. I’d say it’s a medical thing, and they want to make sure you can pay your bill. Hence the question about the job.
Indeed…the only reason I spelled it differently was because Americans rarely ever use “enquiry” (in fact, Firefox is telling me that I spelled the word “wrong” when I typed that). I wasn’t poking at your spelling, honest.
*makes sure he’s 50 feet beside JasonK for the rest of the day*
*whatever it takes to stay out of the line of fire*
The distinction is questionable and not relevant to Dragon’s response.
Sadly, this will be the only time it does pay off.
I highly doubt that.
What have the evil lords of the force got to do with this?
Looks more like a medical form to me. I could be wrong though.
But why does a medical form ask how many jobs you’ve had in the past 10 years? Why do they care?
Maybe if it’s physically hard work? Then it could influence many things in ones condition.
I think the form is gathering information regarding the patient’s ability to pay, sadly.
*mumbles something about the benefits of universal health care*
I had the mumbles when I was a kid. I’m glad my parents had health insurance.
I had them to. Still got them actually. My parents didn’t have health insurance. Pity health care wasn’t universal… we’d both be cured.
Yes, here in America where everyone has to pay for their own health care/insurance, many clinics (especially for sexual health) offer payment on a sliding scale based on your income/employment.
yea but here in america also, where everyone has to pay for their own heatlh care/insurance, many clinics (especially for sexual health offer those payments inorder to profit more
And you know this how? It does make such logical sense, charging patients less in order to make more money. /sarcasm
Cutting your price down to where you’re making $1 above what you spend treating patient X makes you more money than not treating patient X at all.
And what are you talking about? Sliding scale payments at most family planning clinics start at zero.
YAY! *squeeeeeeze*
It’s been a rather trollish Thursday, hasn’t it?
Oooh yeah! See my latest entry on FB2.
And…
*SKAA-WEEEEZE*
Will do!
*runs to look*
Might go toward mental health and stability too.
Having a job does not make one sane. My job drives me batty for roughly six months of the year.
True. But mental health questionnaires sometimes ask about job stability because it can indicate stress.
I couldn’t really say if I’d have more stress without this particular job than I have with it. It’d depend on whatever other job I’d switch to. If I could get paid to play on here all day, that would be a fabulous, relaxing job.
*sighs wistfully*
Being jobless is one of the most stressful things we can go through. I think it ranks up there with divorce and death in the family.
I think it might be worse. The loss of a loved one doesn’t affect your self esteem the way being out of work does. It rarely causes you to lose your house, your car, food, and all the other basics. Divorce? Well, I’d say it was in between the two.
That’s why I said, “it’d depend on whatever other job I’d switch to.” I can’t afford to be unemployed.
Because changing jobs is one of the highest events on the stress scale would be my guess for asking about # of jobs. Also insurance companies sometimes deny claims if you haven’t been continuously covered by insurance for a certain # of years prior to the claim. (It’s in the microscopically small print under the fine print. Use your electron microscope.) So it could be for insurance reasons.
because its planned parenthood…
it looks like the form i filled out when i aborted, which is ironic if this person really is homosexual and it wasnt a planned out joke.. and still as ironic considering im sure this is the same form used for getting birth control..
only logical reason would be an STD test which is a bite in the butt for the person, considering if they didnt use protection for being homosexual but in turn got herpes..
but then again, i’m getting way too into this considering its most likely an extra form and a joke.
Yeah, I missed that at the top. What the Hell kind of form is this?
And since when is “Menopause” a birth control method? Yeah, you can’t get pregnant but it’s not like a woman can pause her menses at will.
Yeah, I missed that the first time I looked at the picture. What the Hell kind of form is this?
And since when it menopause a form of birth control? It’s not like a woman can start or stop menopause at will.
*applies for womanopause*
*Waits for male version – man o’ war*
*sends you Prostap*
Are you serious? Menopause means a woman has stopped ovulating, hence no eggs, so technically it is a method of birth control. (I would have said that it means you don’t actually need birth control, but maybe it was for brevity on the form.)
And why isn’t homosexuality an option on the form??? Menopause seems just as et cetera as being gay. Again, just another example of a counter-intuitive society imposing the status quo on a minority group…
Doctors ask about your job because certain jobs come with inherent risks to your health/safety….For instance I work in a veterinary clinic, that puts me at risk for picking up diseases from animals, so if I come in b/c I’m sick they’re gonna look for different things than if I worked in an office.
Husband and Wife are in the hospital as the wife struggles to bring their child into this world.
Wife: How could you do this to me you rotten bastard?!!!
Husband: Oh no. I’m not taking the blame for this one. I wanted to do you anally but NOOOOOO, that might have HURT!
*snork!*
Oh…ew!
*stifles lol*
I would only say that if there were no scalpels within her reach.
Haha, you’re funny.
It’s not my joke, I’m just repeating it as I thought it was funny.
Not for everyone, ask your doctor if it’s right for you.
Call your doctor if you experience any swelling of the (enter anatomy here).
Especially if that swelling lasts for more than four hours.
Do not attempt to operate a vehicle until you know how it will affect you.
Do not sit down for long periods of time until you know how you have been affected.
It’s clearly a win… all the sex, none the babies!
Because heterosexuals don’t get aids?
Do ya really wanna know?
Homosexuality, contraception and oral fixation aids =D
There was a trollish comment about how this is a fail because of AIDS but has been deleted.
Contraception = protection against pregnancy
Protection against diseases = Protection
Two different things. Only condoms and abstinence offer protection against both.
(And actually, abstinence is not a contraceptive/protection method, because how can we speak of a protection method when sex does not happen? Anybody who seeks information on protection/contraception obviously wants to have sex, otherwise they would not be asking…)
False as a matter of fact, but by all means please remain ignorant of this. The results may enlighten you, however briefly.
I think someone might have missed the sarcasm and back story behind this one…
nah, they got it, they’re just mad that they got it
And all those orphans in Africa are orphans because …. ?
“Tubal Ligation”? I don’t even want to know what that means.
That’s whent he daddy *whisper* and the mommy *whisper* and then … Oh, too much?
No T.V. for you honey. The tubes tied up.
Yeah, what Marius said. Don’t listen to me?
*goes to corner and rocks to and fro, mumbling “it’s all a dream, it’s all a dream*
What have you people done to his poor fragile mind?
Leila, you’re just ebil. You sent him to his room for knowing about this stuff and then you torture him with further knowledge. He’s just a child!!
*cuddles GBF to her matronly busom*
Ooooh.
When I was 16, I would have taken HIGH umbrage for being called a child. In fact, when I was 16, I was…
*glances at BFF*
Um…nemmind. I’ll tell you later.
I wouldn’t have said it if he weren’t quivering in a corner and obviously in severe shock.
I am sorry, I was told knowledge is power. HeeHeeee!!!!
:[
*offers BFF some freshly baked I am very sorry cookies*
*glances at cookies*
NO!!! I’ll blow up, or go bonkers, or spontaneously combust, or something! Are these cookies…clean?
*eyes the confectionaries suspiciously*
*munches a cookie*
Hmmmm. It’s a leeeeetle heavy on the sorry, but they taste really good, BFF. I think it’s safe to have one.
*slowly takes cookie*
*bites a piece off*
*awaits imminent explosion/ self-combustion/ insanity*
*nothing happens*
Hey, that was good! Maybe I’ll have an-
*vanishes in puff of smoke*
Oh.
Oh dear.
Apparently dragons are immune to…well, whatever is in these cookies.
*starting to wonder if BFF has a cookie allergy*
There may be some kind of confection instability with the new model of clones.
*walks in*
Aw, geez, have you guys been giving cookies to my body doubles again? I’m going to have to start putting signs on these things. They aren’t allergic to cookies, it’s just that…I can’t say it. It’s too horrible to explain. The robots. The blood. OH GOD AL GORE!!!! AAAAH!!!
*runs screaming out of the room*
*innocent look*
I swear it wasn’t me this time.
Hmm. I think that new clone machine I gave him for his birthday is malfunctioning a tad.
Was it by any chance manufactured by Toyota?
Hang on, this machine does look a tad familiar.
*checks underside*
CLONING MACHINE MANUFACTURED BY CYBERDYNE INDUSTRIES, IN PARTNERSHIP WITH TOYOTA CORP, ACCELERATOR DIVISON
*drops machine in abject horror*
Oh. My. God. It’s started. IT’S STARTED!!!
*runs around the room, arms flailing in the air*
Should of gotten the cloner from Heterodyne Ind. They really have the Spark for it.
I heard cookies. May I have a cookie, please?
EEEEK!! A hungry mouse!!
Hmm. If you give a mouse a cookie….
*gives Mouse a cookie*
Why is there a moose here asking for a muffin?
*travels back in time to accept cookie*
May I have a glass of milk, please?
…being asked if you wanted a long, comfortable…
……ride on the handlebars of …………
… a distinguished-looking gentleman …
…and then it was just a drink.
It’s ok. The drink would have been to sloe anyway.
I doubt it.
*snork*
Damn. You guys and your razor-sharp memories!!
More commonly known as getting ones “tubes tied”.
Less commonly known as a refresh fail.
And not nearly as much fun as tubal litigation.
Those lawyers will get you every time.
Sex education fail
Actually, I’m quite educated about sex. Go ahead. Ask me anything.
What is sex?
Slide Tab A into Slot B really fast for about five minutes.
Sounds like the IKEA version of sex to me.
HAHA LOL
Actually, I think this one is disputable: http://www.nerve.com/regulars/scienceofsex/09-19-00/09-19-00.asp
As I am unable to access this page, please list the reasons you believe that homosexual practices are not a valid way to avoid pregnancy.
I had a look, its a website talking about a lizard that has evolved to be able to reproduce without males. The ‘all-female’ species mate with each other without males to reproduce.
There is also an all-female ant species. (clickie)
Cool, somebody teach me how to do that.
Only if you’re a lizard.
I’m screwed.
You’re welcome.
*click*
*emails to DW Shop*
congratulations
Best. Answer. Ever.
This really isn’t that funny. I <3 failblog, but not when jokes get discriminatory…
No-one is discriminated – unless I’m missing somethiong.
Does it have a picture of your face on it??
And I’m not sure how a WIN is discriminatory, either…
~It discriminates against heterosexuals.~
Uh, why? Exclusively homosexual sex = no babies. That’s a fact of human biology. How is that discriminatory?
Am I missing something?
Yep, you’re missing the import of the tildes (~): FB code for sarcasm.
It’s discriminatory in the same way a white person talking about black people is a racist.
ohhh so, not necessarily discriminatory at all… thanks for clearing that up.
Really? So if I start talking about my friend Everett that makes me a racist just because he happens to be black and I happen to be white? What if the things I’m saying aren’t derogatory in any way? Is it still racist if I’m simply telling somebody what a wonderful sense of humor he has?
Yes.
*blows raspberry at Arthur*
*squeeze*
Jeez Gracie.
How could you?
Wow and I thought, ‘You’re all right for a white girl,” was an okay compliment. Oh well. I’m still not offended. I also still like the one where someone said, “I heard you singing jazz from the bathroom and thought you were a black woman.” Go Aretha!! whoo hoo
♫ and all the girls say I’m pretty fly (for a white guy) ♫
Be careful. That word might be construed as discriminatory…
You gotta watch those PC guys/girls.
Are you discriminating against MACs?
Most Absolutely Correct
Ah, one of them
I’m watchin you chez!
*Catches fallen ‘g’ and throws it up gracefully*
HOw is this discriminatory? Against gays? Due to the medical privacy act, I’m assuming a patient xeroxed their own form (anyone else would get fired ASAP), so probably this was submitted by someone gay. I thought it was hilarious.
“dis⋅crim⋅i⋅na⋅to⋅ry [di-skrim-uh-nuh-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee]
–adjective 1. characterized by or showing prejudicial treatment, esp. as an indication of racial, religious, or sexual bias: discriminatory practices in housing; a discriminatory tax.
2. discriminative (defs. 1, 2).
Origin:
1820–30; discriminate + -ory 1
Related forms:
dis⋅crim⋅i⋅na⋅to⋅ri⋅ly, adverb
Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2010″
Glad we cleared that up.
Sooooo…. was the original person trying to say that this is positive discrimination? (As in, being homosexual is win?) I’m a little confused.
I think the whole point is that it’s NOT discriminatory. The idea that this could even be taken as discrimination is absurd.
Only using condoms is not good enough anymore? Sheesh.
Say, why do you feel the need to lecture us on this topic? I mean, you do that in a nice way, so no problem, but I think it’s relatively unnecessary.
Thank you Nurse.
Ohmigosh, I love that prank. My friends and I do it to each other all the time!
Please, please, please be joking about that. Use your tildes, hurray!
oh all right…
*hops up into post*
*rummages through his obama sonic harry potter backpack*
*pulls out tildes and places them accordingly*
Bless your heart. *sigh* I was concerned. Tone doesn’t always come across in FB.
Hehe, I’ve watched people talk about the tilde’s for a while now with amusement.
~ is a tilde
* is an asterisk
to use tilde’s would mean
~makes herself a coffee while waiting for people to understand the difference~
~OMG, you’re so smart!~
*snicker*
*Arrests t/a police for improper use of apostrophes on an explanatory comment*
Are you sure you’re not missing these??
*holds up “~”*
*hopeful*
Yeah, I was totally missing those.
I would call that a serious crime more than a “prank.”
*prank calls 4Ms*
‘Is your refrigerator running? Well, you better catch it before it goes out the door.’
*LOLZ hysterically*
*calls Domino’s*
‘yes, could I have 100 large mushroom pizzas for delivery please?’
*gives them LGB’s address*
‘kthanksbye’
*gigglesconivingly*
*rents several wheelbarrows and truck*
*loads pizzas*
*drives to mushy’s house*
*dumps pizzas on doorstep*
*rings doorbell*
*ditches*
Yay, my friends have arrived!
Aww, they’re all cooked and cheesy.
Your friends are all cooked and cheesy?
*snorkroffling*
And here I thought all of us Failpeeps where a little cheese.
Oh, yes. I can see how that would be disturbing, seeing your friends cooked and cheesy.
Of course, isn’t it a bit more disturbing that a mushroom ordered them that way?
‘Twas an inside job gone wrong…
Are there any Anchovies with the mushrooms? If there where then its a mob hit. They will be swimming with the fishes.
*Glances at pizza*
*Notices onions, bursts into tears*
♫♪ you say tomato, I say tomato..♪♫
Wait. That doesn’t work in comments. Darn.
Well a mushroom pizza where I’m from is a special one made FOR a mushroom, meaning it has extra grass and dirt on it…
Woopsie-daisy!
*LOLZ*
Aw, lil’ mushy. You do tend toward flowery speech.
…probably a result of looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.
Trying to keep up with you all, is making me Daisy.
*plants smooch on cap*
*Steps in front of fridge*
FREEZE!
*puts hands up*
*makes ice cube*
Thanks! I needed that.
*makes mojito*
Condoms are not effective when you don’t want to have sex with the thing that’s wearing it, Carib.
Rather, it isn’t needed for contraception with the person they WANT to have sex with…
…*facepalm*
I’ve done got my tongue all tied up in knots. Thanks.
More like “heterosexist form fail.” Believe me, us queers see this crap all the time.
One time I called my doctor because I wouldn’t stop puking and I ended up talking to the nurse. She said, “Are you sexually active?” I said yes. She said, “Do you use any methods of birth control?” I realized where she was going and said, “No, but…” Then she cut me off and said, “Well one and one make two, don’t they?”
Me: “Um, my partner’s a woman.”
Her: “Oh. I guess one and one DON’T make two…”
Unless one of you spontaneously turned into a lizard…
<3
Or more accurately they don’t in this case make three.
Math FAIL!
Oh, that’s just a matter of opinion.
♪I know my calculus
It says U + Me = Us♪
♫Don’t know much about geography. Don’t know much trigonometry.
Don’t know much about algebra. Don’t know what a slide rule is for.♫
Two plus three no longer–o longer five (five five five five five five five)
Ahhh oooh woo-eh-ooh ooh ooh ooh
Girl it’s we
This time for us
It’s time to play the abacus
Here we stand
Before you live
Too + 3, no longer five
Two plus three are one
Two plus three are one, yeah
Two plus three are one
Two plus three are one, yeah
Do the math girl
And let me tell you why I never need a bath girl
‘Cause I’m covered in foam
I got my homes
I’m never lonely there’s an extra hand for my ice cream cone yeah
I got poise like a star
There’s no room in the car
And if it looks like rain
Get underneath my massive brain
Two plus three are one
Two plus three are one, yeah
Two plus three are one
Two plus three are one, yeah
Eh
Two plus three are one (two plus three are one)
Two plus three are one, yeah (two plus three are one)
Two plus three are one (two plus three are one)
Two plus three are one (two plus three are one)
♫ people must be jumping
to the wrong conclusion
that one and one make five ♫
almpst caught an earworm, but managed to shrug it off. However, in the process I had to jump from one song to another to get rid of the previous (first stop being, rather naturally, the Satchmo one). A plethora of pop tunes later my twisted mind landed on the famous Liverpodlians and could not resist the urge to link the earworm ride loosely to the cocept of protection. Thus the re-naming of a classic album; STD Peppers = Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Yes, I’m new here.
As regards the earwormhole, don’t ask – I wouldn’t know.
anyone willing to trade me an O and an N for a P, please.
Hello!!
Do you have another letter? I have too many of those already.
I take it that stockpiling letters on purpose is frowned upon, as it should be.
*does not overdo typos*
But do not despair, for I am a tad moody™, and thus can spare pretty much anything from “the letters I’ve written never meaning to send.”
Reminds me of when I went to get STD tested at the local health department. The nurse went into this whole lecture on using birth control when I said I don’t use any, and when I finally interrupted her with “I ONLY HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN” she just stared at me for a good long while. Before suddenly getting way more rude, and asking why I was even there because OBVIOUSLY lesbians don’t get STDs, and I was just wasting everyone’s time.
… which led to a thirty minute argument because yes, there are sexually transmitted infections/diseases lesbians get. Moron.
Oddly enough, the form I had to fill out beforehand looked a lot like this one. Only there wasn’t an “other” spot. So sad.
No spot for “other”?
So make your own “other” spot next time… geez.
Heh… I said, “other spot”.
Oh poor baby, complain more because your the only one who has problems.
lol whut
Is that…a job application form I spy, asking about methods of contraception…?
lawsuit win?
Not necessarily. For all you know, this person could be applying for a job with Trojan.
I was thinking the exact same thing.. yeah, I vote for Lawsuit Win on that one.
No. It’s Planned Parenthood.
LAME. One thumb down!!!!
[LGB]Yes. Yes you are. You can cross that off today’s to-do list.[/LGB]
*poke*
*poke*
*safety*
*tickle*
*tickle*
*boopdaGracieondanoseandflyaway*
*adds an extra ‘o’ to B3′s “Bopper”, just for fun*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
*giggles*
Who was that masked Boppity?
*puts unneeded glasses on*
Did I miss anything?
Just this.
*SKA-weeze*
You two are retards.
Get an avatar!
*skips into Gracie’s post*
*places , after ‘yes’*
*skips away*
That’s a fail.
more like an epic fail
^
Janet’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the- bride ever!
A week later, Janet was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Janet asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ”Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied..
Janet told her mother who graciously said, ”Never mind sweetheart.. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Janet asked her mother, ”Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it…”
Her mother just smiled and replied, ”Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.”
I like it!
It’s a lovely peice of passive aggressive behavior. I’m a fan. LOL
It’s twisted and ebil. In a good way. My favorite kind of story.
Someone forwarded it to me when we were planning my daughter’s wedding.
*claims homosexuality* what do i win?
*hands raze a used toothpick*
HEY thats mine!
*takes back toothpick and places in mouth*
thank you
*walks away*
A Get Out Of the Military Free card.
Free birth control for life!
all of which are a win in my book :3
I have the Blahs people. Is it the weather? Is it this fail?
Am I just hormoTional?
It’s the weather. We got more of the icky white stuff here. Bonus: my mom is visiting and shoveled my walk for me. Hee! Thanks, mom!
Moms are the best!
She was planning on leaving tomorrow morning, until this storm hit. Now she’s not sure. It depends on the roads. She said she doesn’t want to go. I told her she just needs to move up here.
*is so jealous that she starts nibbling fingernails*
Whos.
*said whos*
efficient
*points*
*snickers*
~Teehee. He said ‘homosexual’.~
What the devil? Shadow?
Upstairs! March, young man!
But… but… it was intended to be intentionally immature… pointing out the ridiculousness of… and… thereof… wheretofore…
Big words are not going to save you here.
C’mon, now. Up you go…
I’d cut him some slack, I saw “wheretofore” in there…
Oh, all right — this time. But I’ve got my eye on you, Shadow…
They say that “lesbianism is the purest form of birth control” (seen on a bathroom stall in the ladie’s room at the University of Iowa in the 1980s)
oops, “ladies’” room
hahaha whoa. i can fix the “dunno source” parts – i took this picture! it was for a medical study thing that i was going to participate in (for a medication to quit drinking – i decided eff that).. i really don’t know why they were asking half the questions they were, but yeah, i couldn’t resist when i got to this one. they wanted full disclosure, and my birth control is the fact that my girlfriend can’t get me pregnant so… yeah! anyway, i posted this to reddit a couple days ago – thanks to whoever brought it over here!
Well, I thought it was a total win.
Completely off-topic…
I found out a couple of hours ago that someone lied to my boss’ boss about me and said I took a 3 hour lunch on Monday. Apparently, someone has become rather obsessed with my entrances/exits (though not managing to get his/her info correct) — no idea who or why. Now I’m creeped out and getting quite stressed over the fact that I’m being watched by an unknown someone.
When you find out who it was, let me know so I can aim the *FOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!* in the right direction.
Knowing you’re being watched is a really disturbing feeling. My tummy is now churning & I’m on the verge of tears (even though almost everyone has gone home & the watcher would logically have to be gone if he/she comes in before I’m scheduled to).
*many warm and schnuggly hugs*
I’m sorry, sweetie. It’s really nasty and mean and unpleasant. I’ve never understood why people have to act that way.
Just remember that you are so much bigger and better than that person. You don’t need to tear people down in order to feel superior. You ARE superior.
*more hugs*
Thanks, DW.
*megadragonsqueeze*
I had the same thing happen to me several years ago. (It was even the boss’s boss who was told.) It was indeed very disturbing. I had a meeting with my boss and I pointed out that anyone who had enough spare time to note all my comings and goings obviously didn’t have enough work to do. And he didn’t take good enough notes because he wasn’t right. It appeared that the tattler was trying to get my boss in as much trouble as me, by implying that my boss was not a good boss. Anyway, my boss backed me up and the tattling ended. {{{{{nightshayde}}}}
Ohai, cweenmj! Nice to see you over here!
My boss told me that if I told him it’s not true, he’ll believe me — so I looked him in the eyes and told him it wasn’t true. He’s a good guy. He said he didn’t know who said something to his boss — and that he’s not really sure he wants to know. He just asked me to be careful in case someone is trying to get us both in trouble somehow.
Exactly! When they go to the second-lever supervisor to tattle, they have an agenda, and you are just a pawn!! Keep your chin up kid. If you have a good work ethic, your boss will know it.
{{{nightshayde}}}
I lurk here now and then, just to see how the other side lives.
*stealth-squeeze*
*strong, warm hugs for NS and cweenmj*
I went through my own very stressful crazy employee problems, only the pathological liar reported to me.
There’s one pathological liar here, but I really don’t think he’d say anything about anyone’s hours since he tends to disappear to the bar across the street for hours at a time. I think I have the possible culprit narrowed down to three people who sit very near me.
My kingdom for magical powers! I think Imperio might be a bit too harsh, but I’m sure some sort of jinx could come in handy — like making sure the tattler grows antlers or something.
I’m sure this person is miserable already, not that they don’t deserve some comeuppance. Antlers would be good…their entire wardrobe would have to consist of blaze orange.
*hands nightshayde a voodoo doll and 5 pins*
Use them wisely!
Now I have a mental !mage of someone with antlers growing from their head and pins sticking into…erm…strategic places.
*likes that !mage*
(You have no idea how hard it was to write that without LOLspeak!)
*snerk*
Oh yesh yesh YESH — ai noez purrzaklee wut u meenz!
And that someone lied because actually you skipped work that day?
I know I’ll get reprimanded for this, but “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill” just got played in the room over, now I’m constantly asking what he killed.
I refuse to suffer alone.
That answer is really gay.
Depends what kind of neighborhood you live in
THat is super gay, in more ways than one. As a vet, I hope that we can don’t ask don’t tell!
Um, dude, you’re not in the military anymore. This is the real world.
Here in the real world, people are not ashamed of who they love, no matter what you think. Get used to it.
Other: sodomy (no homo)
[quote]Germans weren’t the “original inhabitants” of what’s now Germany so how do you think they ended up there?[/quote]
Yes they were.
Why don’t you learn something about the GERMANic tribes up to Bismarck:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germany
That’s not a win – it’s the biggest fail ever!
If only your mother had used any of the things on that list…
Zing!
It means less competition for straight people.
well, u don’t have to be gay to do it in the bum, ask your gf
Funny, that’s what i say when they ask me about contraception. xD
- do you use contraception ?
- no.
- OMGwtf ?
- i am a lesbian *smiles*
If this is true, how can we breed the next generation of gays?
It’s Planned Parenthood, people. They ask you about your job to know how much they should charge you.
you mean epic fail
Looks a lot like the forms my local walk-in clinic uses. They ask about your job here more because they get a lot of workman’s comp claims and they also do health screenings for local hazardous jobs. And I too have filled out mine similarly. I just write something more specific to me, “Lesbian.” Always get funny looks from the check-in nurse when I hand that in too.
I recognize this application. I’ve filled it out, or one very similar- for a job in one of the big casinos- I live in Vegas. They want to know what kind of birth control women use because A) it might make you gain weight, which = fired or B) You may get pregnant, which = fired.
You have to look like a showgirl to work there.
If a job application ever asked me that kind of question, especially for those sorts of reasons, I’d throw it back in their faces. Possibly after setting it on fire.
It’s super effective!
Sounds indecent to me
It isn´t 100% effective.
I know a few transgender lesbians that can still get their partners pregnant.
You can’t be homosexual with transgender people you big idiot.
HOMO = SAME
Transgender couples can’t be 100% homosexual.
Picture Post: WIN
Myrna: FAIL
Learn a little bit about the whole possibilities of gender identity and sexual preference, before calling me idiot.
A male to female transgender, is a woman, regardless of the body she has. If she likes other women, she’s homosexual, because she’s attracted by people of her same gender.
lpcrierie knowledge FAIL
WIN INDEED!!!
Failblog you have been sucking so hard lately. You’ve gone to the gays.
don’t let the door hit you on your way out…
“It’s super effective!”
I had to double-check the handwriting… I’m not 100% sure this wasn’t the form I filled out several years ago…
Yeah, same here.. I totally put that down on a form once..
I go to a health clinic in the states because I’m unemployed and have no health insurance and they ask about your work history so that they can report back to the government about the demographics of their clients — that way they can get more funding. I only get charged what I can afford (which is nothing) for each visit and am charged “at cost” for the pharmaceuticals they prescribe (and they don’t carry narcotics of any kind)
Hey, it works for feminists.
Fail
It’s always a FAIL
Damn, I wish I had put that down when I went to Planned Parenthood to get birth control. (Not for sex, obviously.)
That’s the best. Awesome
Epic Win. >:)
Well, I thought it was a total win
it works, but the consequences outweigh the social benefits.
oops, “ladies’” room
eww