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Wow…
Rofl
Is there even a need for a tiny flashlight that won’t even work that well?
Unless, of course, you and your lover are into spelunking or coal mining…
for those unsensitive to touch… so they can at least see xD
OK, where is the one I attach to my c0ck? I miss sometimes and the yelling starts. “NOT IN THAT HOLE DUMBASS!!!” or my favorite “I’ll put a f*ckin cucumber up your ass and see how that feels, ok?” (I answer ‘no’, sometimes. )
cool story, bro.
how long did it take to make this one up?
You only answer ‘no’ SOMETIMES?
nice one
I move away from the Cucumber to breath in
OMG ROFFLE
Can’t believe nobody got that…
It’s for checking for those herpes sores. I mean the handheld spotlight kinda ruins the mood.
Yeah this is sillyness…. You’re supposed to be watching her face to see if she’s enjoying it, not examining her under a bright light. We have gynecologists for that.
What do you do down there anyway?
If you can see her enjoyment in her face, she’s faking it. If you move to get up and you find yourself locked in with her hands and thighs holding on to you in a death grip…that’s when you know she’s enjoying it.
And to think I have been wearing glow in the dark condoms all this time…*slaps forehead*
Definitely need the Sham-wow guy to pitch this product.
HA! definitely…
“You’re gonna love my nuts”
“Stay with me camera guy”
“Guess where the batteries are kept!”
How about Vince, the pitchman for the SlapChop?
They are, in fact, the same guy.
Kevin fails
No, the ShamWow guy is a kind caring individual I assume. The SlapChop guy beat a hooker.
I’ve come to the conclusion that if I was having sex with someone who had a glow in the dark condom on, I would die laughing, and make lightsaber noises. Then die laughing again.
♪ Shine little glow-worm, glimmer, glimmer. ♪
♫This little little of mine, I am gonna let it shine♫
♫This little little of mine, I am gonna let it shine♫
♫let it shine let it shine let it shine.♫
♫♪ you light up my wife♪♫
♫ The night the lights went down on Georgia ♫
♪She’s afraid of a light in the dark
6:58 are you sure where my spark is.
Here, here, here♪
Song you don’t want to hear: “Clap on, clap off, the clapper!”
Tori Amos reference FTW!
♫lights are gonna find me
Shining like the sun
Smiling, having fun
Feeling like a number one♫
♫ ♫ ♫
Jesus wants me for a sunbeam,
To shine for Him each day;
In every way try to please Him,
At home, at school, at play.
A sunbeam, a sunbeam,
Jesus wants me for a sunbeam!
Epic LDS reference win. Especially since oral is forbidden by the Mormon church!
♫ Every sp3rm is sacred;
every sp3rm is great … ♫
No way! That’s WAAYYYY too many unkissed hot bits out there.
Really, it’s forbidden? That was just your boyfriends excuse.
I would do the same thing. Probably hum the theme song too rofl then more light-saber noises.
Oh for Pete’s sake… moderation because I used four asterisks in a row?
Bad asterisks…bad!
Turn light on so you can see it better…lol
he only uses it on hookers he beats up
She bit his tongue (or lip?) and wouldn’t let go. Don’t judge.
I think it’s very easy to judge. He was in the wrong.
Tell ya what. I’ma sink my teeth into your lower lip and just hang on, and let’s see how long you stay pacifist.
Vegas puts the over-under at 2 seconds.
“…and it’s made in Germany. You know they make good oral sex lights in Germany!”
got that right, we’re known for quality engineering in EVERY branch!
even the joy division?
you know how it is ,you’re down there,doing you thing,thinking man is she dry,when you realize you’ve been licking the carpet.
ROFLMFAO @ Tom. That was the funniest thing I’ve ever read.
sometimes you cant see and u use that light and its still dark. then you relize shes an all natural XD
second wow
Third wow
And yes, it does make coffee
and does it shave to?
And lights your cigarette ..
And turn on your TV?
I’m only interested if it’ll also do my homework.
and if you clap does it turn your lights on and off?
No, but having the clap is a turn off.
Does it scramble eggs inside there shell?
how ever do people cope without it?
Follow my voice into the other room!
That’s what I said!
Thank god, now I can see even in the dark! Where can I purchase that?
At Amazon!: http://www.amazon.com/Pipedreams-PD4026-00-Oral-Sex-Light/dp/B000KBV97M
I had a check, and there’s only one left! Popular item!
Strange. There are no video reviews of this product…
Would you care to contribute a spot?
Any excuse to wear my zorro mask…
Good thing they are listed as new.
OMG! This is a real product?
Oral Sex Light? Bah! I’d rather have the full version.
It has less calories.
But it’s your birthday! Nothing but the best version today, surely?
bring back your old avatar. u r hawt
i really want to see your avatar
well its dark down there so your gonna need a light
Hm, by Pipedream Industries? How appropriate! I have a feeling getting any oral sex while wearing one of these would be exactly that – a pipedream.
Tastes great, less filling.
I’d rather grope around in the dark.
Minister giving a sermon on Matthew 25.1-13: “Where would you rather be? In the light with the five wise virgins; or in the dark with the five foolish ones?”
Where there is a great deal of light, the shadows are deeper.
~ Goethe
so you can see where that fishy smell comes from!
You don’t get to go down on girls much do ya?
actually i do(A) but that’s my private business ain’t it
, still.. when she’s been clubbing all night, i won’t even think about it..
Erm, try doing it with girls that actually wash.
“Oh yeah, I’m gonna please you like it”s 199–OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT HAIRY JIGGLY PUS-FILLED CREATURE WITH SEVEN EYES AND WHY IS IT FOAMING AT THE MOUTH?!?!”
See, the light is good for something.
The light at the end of the tunnel?
The flashing lights of freedom?
Let’s hope it’s not a train at the end of that tunnel!
*quivers*
Perfect for those with tunnel vision
I prefer a mining helmet myself…
it says it’s a LIGHT version. you have a netbook – you should have one of those
Is there a tunnel at the end of the light???
Is it all pointless to ask about?
Oh come on, that was relatively funny.
No no, it was a rhetorical question.
Uh, a rhetoric question….pah, ρήτωρ is in Greek.
Why it is light? it’s sugar free!!!
now if it had a tiny camera in it as well …
agreed! THAT might be something i would buy lol
The film crew usually brings their own lights, though :-\
“Future Product”:
Oral-Sex-Ultra-Light
Description:
With these two Hardwired (connected by high endurance string) Cans you can get down even better…
Bego
whaaaat?! haha..
Taste Great!
Less filling?
well the head set is new in oral sex
Should be a webcam in that one too. Then you can watch yourself in third-person later
There are so many FAILS in this one it’s hard to know where to start. Nice find.
Like the incorrect venus symbol?
Bingo! Wondered if anyone would notice…
Companion piece to the flashlight vibrator that makes your abdomen glow.
Aren’t you talking about the “fleshlight”?
It’s the lighthouse your man in the boat needs!
This looks like it can come in handy.
I need one of these for my girlfriend. It gets dark down there in the shadow of my massive… ego.
~
*Turns light on*
OMFG, that doesn’t look like a vagina.
Oh, wait…
*Turns light off, walks away and cries*
don’t go down without it !
awesome
@Sithinious they gonna put a scope in the 2011 series
This is a typical example for one of those products which makes you laugh first, then curious to try and finally wonder how you were ever able to live without it.
no, not at all
Question?
Do you really want to see what down there?
A lot of girls just close their eyes and link of flowers.
Not lolly pops?
*ponders*
I usually think of unicorns beating my face in with a wiffleball bat…
Then again I’m a dude.
If you order through Amazon you get a special price when order with other bedroom spelunking equipment
Climber: “On Belay?”
Belayer: “Belay on”
***switches on Oral Sex Light****
Climber: ” If you feel a quick tug, I need more rope”
belayer: “Roger’
Climber “Climbing”
Belayer: “Climb on!”
That was guud *clap clap clap*
Belayer: come again
Climber: *Roger’
Just as an aside…here’s the dialog I use when belaying a climber:
Climber: “On belay?”
Me: “Ándale.”
Climber: “Uh…what?”
Me (lunging forward and wildly shoving upwards on climber’s butt): “¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!”
lmaoooo
Now people obsessed with wearing their blue tooth head set can still look like a douche while they blow themselves.
or they can look like a douche as they douche
Seriously? Come on, have gotten that lazy?
have *we*
She said she was taking a shine to me…
(I had no idea, this is what she meant.)
They made light of it, and went their ways.
I’m still left in the dark on the subject.
No bright ideas, then?
Of course, can’t you see the light-bulb above my head?
Lol wrong “head.”
Curiously, WordPress doesn’t seem to offer a smiley for that.
Looks very shopped to me. I can’t find anything about it on http://pipedreamproducts.com
Could have been an april fools joke.
Of course it’s shopped. Sure, the letters could be cardboard cutouts hanging near the models, but you don’t really think they put a woman in a red circle for the photo shoot, do you?
Fail
ht tp://www.amazon.com/Pipedreams-PD4026-00-Oral-Sex-Light/dp/B000KBV97M
*snorkity*
I initially thought that this was a headset for phone sex.
You know…”oral sex (light)”.
meh too.
Buy now and get your complimentary Masturbation Light with Kungfu Grip
GI Joe king?
Light, seeking light, doth light of light beguile. . .
..fail? Maybe win?
STALEMATE!
You should get her to try some Massengill.
Ha, I remember being in Adam & Eve, or one of those kinds of shops, with my wife on our honeymoon and seeing this product. We were both like “wtf? o.O” lol
They say the worst thing about oral sex is the view. I somehow doubt this product will change that.
Then “they” do it wrong. Completely wrong. So wrong that I actually have no idea how “they”‘re doing it.
backwards, in a saddle, with a seat belt, watching Alvin and the Chipmunks 2.
o.O
OMG! we sell these at work! (yes i work at an adult store) And guess what…everyone laughs at them and no one buys them…but i guess thats obvious
You sell stuff for adults? Great! My mom has been saying how she would love some cast iron pans! Now her birthday will be awesome!
Pipedream …
Pipe is the french word for this kind thing ….
DAY 7: We have been exploring the hole for a week now, our light source has helped greatly. While we were exploring the tangled jungles of hair we were attacked by giant crabs and unfortualy Jimmy was mauled and died. We came across the hole earlier today and there was the smell of fish, we had to wear masks, we will begin our decent into the hole tomorow, hopefully there wont be any more crabs.
Everyone continue the diary:….
DAY 8: We have decided not to have diaries any more. Nobody reads it anway.
*** CLOSED ***
(How bout that for a c-c-c-combo breaker?)
Jajajajaja, well that died quickly
shut up that a dick dumass
If they made it vibrate…
Does it zap bugs as well?
The Real fail is the guy who buys it…unless the wife has never shaved and going down is like a jungle safari…then its a win
Good for when you really need to read the rest of that book, and pleasure your woman.
Belly button book holder is optional. Buy it or she’s gotta hold that novel for you.
spoiler alert: The butler did it
“Aaah, aaaaah, AAAAAH!!” … ” Honey, I came. You can stop now.” – “No dear, the suspense is killing me, can’t stop now. I have go on readin!”
I never go in without my red dot.
I don´t need such stupid thing.
Why do they need a mic? are they that far away from eachother?
wouldnt that just get in the way…. :/
I agree…it would. Or fall off w/too much motion
Great product… if you want to read a book LOL!
I think whoever designed the box art on this had their knowledge of anatomy mixed up.
Because turning on the actual lights would be too hard. Or for you Paris Hilton’s of the world, opening the car door.
She can turn it on/off with her thighs…
We’ll leave the light on for you!
The woman in the circle looks like she’s trying to eat it?
Miniature Lightsaber… on nom nom nom nom!
Stop this mockery! I use it and it’s great.
♫When the lights go down♫
♫In the clit-y♫
A+
*Hands joeB a cookie*
Good one! Classic reference, originality, humor…
Now it’s stuck in my head…lol
Oh HELL no…unless a lady really wants to feel like she’s at the gynecologist’s office.
But if somebody just wants to be totally OTfingT, maybe they should make a laser pointer for the lady to use when she’s with that guy (you know..THAT guy) who doesn’t know where the goddam thing even is.
oh… dude thats just nasty.
Zomg? What the crap are people smoking these day? A oral sex light?! OMG! xDD
What’s really sad is these things actually sell. I had to try not to laugh when people bought them. I will admit i have one but my book light broke and i get free crap from the store lol.
it’s dangerous to go alone, take this
What if you don’t have a right ear?
Oral sex light. I wonder how is oral sex full fat
Can you get AIDS with it?
I don’t think WordPress has a smiley for that one.
For us french-speakers, that this is made by PIPEdream co. makes it even more FAIL! Ask me what “pipe” can mean…
I’m italian and I’m guessing it means blow doesn’t it?
Right you are;)
Yes there are just too many fails in a single picture here…
Haha, at the beginning I thought it was a headset that had like the “Pleasure sounds” but then I saw the picture with the light!
I mean, this is a better espionage item rather than a sex enhancer///
I think this was introduced in the movie “Mission Impossible” when he was hanging from the ceiling, he used it to see if he was getting exited.
You are mistaken, it is one of 007′s special gudgets.
or maybe “Matrix”: operator, this bush is too thick, I can;t see a thing.. of wait, nm, I found the light.
I… wouldn’t want to have sex with someone that either needed a light to find what was necessary or needed to be illuminated in order for me to find it, especially if the latter is male. (Not that I’m bi or anything, I’m just conjecturing.)
Idk, might not be such a bad idea, some of them are so cavernous it’s like throwing a bannana down an elevator shaft
You know, if you’re gonna go that far, why don’t you just wear the hard hat with the flashlight attached to it?
Ironically, I can see a lot of useful ways to use this thing that are not related to sex. I also think that a guy going down on me with such a light would be a big turn-off for me. I know the right female parts can be hard to find, but cmon, it’s not THAT difficult.
Their name is “lesion” for they are many.
Well in its defense, this awful piece of garbage is most likely meant as a novelty item. At least I hope it is. I’m sure there are as many people who’d be into using this to help ‘enhance’ their sexy time as people who get off on parking cone sized buttplugs. Still, I’d go for one of those old-timey doctors’ refelctors, you know the ones that go over the forehead? –before I’d spend a red cent on this.
Female tender bits are actually pretty fun to find in the dark — you know go by feel alone? Let’s face it — vaginas are better feeling than looking any day. HAHAHAHA!!!!! There are some cute ones out there, don’t get me wrong, like little orchids, but even those feel better than they look.
hey, you hearin this?
I’m not a doctor…but I’ll take a look!
I sometimes take a canary with me…if it dies I am out of there
ewwwww
More tea vicar?……
Is there also a light so when he jerks off he can hit her face? I mean, is there a c.u.m.ming light too?
WTF??? Seriously?!? As a sex toy reviewer I am always amazed at some of the strange stuff that companies come up with. What amazes me more is that they actually sell this stuff.
For those that think that this thing was actually made up for the sake of LUZ, you can buy it at Amazon – http://www.amazon.com/Pipedreams-PD4026-00-Oral-Sex-Light/dp/B000KBV97M No, I will NOT be reviewing this.
There is no such device as an Oral Sex Light. That is actually a handsfree microphone device.
Yeah i need some light when digging my head up there, tends to get a little dark up there..
Wow…you shouldn’t need a light….JUST FOLLOW YOUR NOSE
It DOES make sense!
Oral means spoken, so it’s about spoken sex!
now you can find more easy your condom when this stay on………..
Just Sayinq..
So, that’s not what the head lamps my husband and I bought were for? This one looks like a microphone. It would be awesome if it had autotune capabilities and a light.
Apparently someone finally figured out how to find it with a flashlight and a map. (Map sold separately)
maybe they thought it was dangerous to have oral sex in the dark, i mean apperantly that dick might end up some place other than her/his mouth? O_O Just saying but why not have oral sex with the lights on? Just sayin.
Is there also a light so when he jerks off he can hit her face? I mean, is there a c.u.m.ming light too?