His girlfriend is just charming.
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» 191 Failures in Communication
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A bukkit for monsieur.
And the cleaning woman!
I wonder if that pink thing is mint flavored?
It’s only a tiny little thin one.
*feeds*
*runs for cover*
*explodes*
On the bright side, he can use a picture of Mr. Creosote for Doplp…for Döppel…for that special week.
Knorpelhänger?
*SNORK*
Google translate says “doch”: cartilage trailer.
Well, both words exist, but mean nothing that I’m aware of when combined.
Poor guy
this is not funny
So an obese man enjoying his meal is a fail?
Gosh, then I guess that a majority of the failbloggers here (at least 60% of you) are a failure!!!
Pretty random reply… I also sense a bit of tension. Wanna talk about it?
He got the “less than half” bit wrong.
Oooooh, this is the one that didn’t notice it then!
not the fat guy, look at the pink thing on the table
Well, the fat guy already was waaayy enough to be an Appetizing Fail. Also that thing he holds in his hands, looks like a big heap of poo.
So in total, that makes it a *triple* appetizing FAIL.
I don’t think its just the obese man I think its more the condom on the table.
Used condom on the table jackass
Lmfao! It’s really not a fail if he just got laid…
No, the pink condom on the edge of the table is a fail.
no no no, look at the pink thing next to the word fail. yeah, thats called a condom. the reason it is a fail is because THERES A CONDOM ON HIS DINNER TABLE
Yes, it’s wafffer thin…
Thanks for commenting on our new promotional materials! This is a subliminary message to our customers. Apparently it has worked quite well judging from the hilarious and positive comments being expressed. Thank you and have a safe sex, from Durex Condoms!
Blaaaaarg!
Those poor buttons.
Horizontal lines make you look thin Fail?
Knowing the difference between horizontal and vertical fail. (Hint: the horizon is horizontal.)
Thats vertical lines, professor Smart-ass.
This was taken in his condominium
The Rubber Maid has some cleaning up to do.
Though she may be latex to ner next appointment.
*adds lube*
*slides out ‘n’ replaces with ‘h’ to make ‘her’*
It’s hard to clean up after someone who eats like a Trojan horse.
I know! It looks like durex the place!
If this pun run goes Beyond Seven, it’s likely to go limp soon after.
Don’t be so hard on yourself!
You’re right. We can keep this up, dental damn it!
*(French) Tickles Mouse*
*laughs from the diaphragm*
You can get a pill for that.
Birth control… you can just swallow?
*SNORK*
Is it that you just can’t handle any longer than seven? Poor thing
i’d tap that…
“Gud taimz!”
-Heavy,TF2
You sir are a genius. A real life TF2 character!
Is that a condom on the table? WTF?
Only slightly used.
yep, he did the turkey, gave it some filling.
I heard you can reuse them if you turn them inside-out.
I was wondering about that too…
anyone notice the condom?
*starts lining up shots for Avis and Ms. B*
Would those be shots of mindbleach?
Captain Morgan brand.
110 proof?
*checks bottle*
Darn, only 70 proof original…. Guess we’ll have to drink these all ourselves to make room for the good stuff.
*hands shots to k@*
*looks at watch*
9.42am, well the sun must be over the yardarm somewhere!
Bottoms up!
1.46 am here. I don’t want to have dreams tonight. Cheers!
Yachydda!
I had lots of fun playing tonight, but I really ought to take my tummy full of rum and go to bed now. Have fun!
Nighty nighty little Mouse, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite……you do not want rum filled bed bugs…..little alcohilic pinatas.
“Damn, I’ve already eaten everything!”
*Look at condon*
“Well, I’ve only used it twice”
*Eats condom*
lol I did.. I checked comments to see if I was the only one. Too funny!
wow, totally observant, Sherlock!
Why is there a purple condom? Is he using chicken grease as lube?
Chickens can give you salmonella if handled improperly.
Salmonella can give you diarrhea if contracted properly.
I heard the first sign of Salmonella is your farts smell like curry.
There’s a proper and improper way to contract salmonella? I suppose you could contact Sam and Ella and that would be improper.
Looks like he doesn’t eat the casing on his sausage… =/
It’s the pink condom on the table that makes it for me
You can have it. Looks like he’s already done with it.
Before popping up the picture, they should display a warning for people with epilepsy.
center back of the table, is the the Pillsbury Doughboy?
*that. Ugh looking at this at 3AM is not good for my brain….
Train wrecks are not this difficult to stop staring at.
Duck-and-cover for the buttons.
First.
I don’t think that is a condom it is the remainder of his stomach staple he spat up.
Anyone else notice it’s almost all booze on the table, and only a little bit of food? (and a condom of course!)
A little bit of food?
I would die if I ate all that.
The tasty bowl of cigarettes would certainly do most anyone in.
…..Cheese……I am Lactose intolerant!
This will probably come as a shock… I love cheeses.
~*faints*~
*dials emergency number*
Send firemen immediately!!!
*opens eye slightly*
Don’t worry k@, the firemen will be coming soon.
*squeezes eyes tightly shut*
*checks instructions for CPR*
1) remove any restrictive clothing.
2) Place hands on chest.
3) um…what was I doing?
3) SAFETY!
*sigh
of course your safety was the only thought on my mind.
I am not sure I believe you…..
You know you can take your hands OFF my chest now right….
But I don’t think you are completely safe yet. Better safe than sorry.
And Cheeses loves you.
You are such an intolerant person! Shame on you!
I know I know, I should go on a course or something.
*sigh
*slaps back of own hand*
Whey would you do that?
Curd you ask again? I didn’t hear her answer.
*tries briething slowly*
No guys it is no good.
You didn’t really give it a gouda try.
Because I know I should be open minded, but I just can’t stand the way cheeses look at me.
Why, do they look at you like you are the food?
Their little eyes are ebil I tells ya.
cheddar you than me on that one.
you guys are gouda the puns!
That has to be the happiest I’ve ever seen someone who’s eating chicken.
Except those that steal a No7 combo.
Apparently he hasn’t only been eating them
Is that chicken grease, or something else?
Well, it’s not hair gel.
*crosses fingers*
Please let it be wallpaper paste.
Well, it is sticky.
But putting wallpaper up with it could be life threatening?
*eat more bananas
drink plenty of fluids, a few power bars, and energy drinks, and who knows.
Tennis Elbow, carpal tunnel and exhaustion.
What a little tennis elbow when you are trying to hang wall paper.
Sports related injuries should not be contracted whilst performing DIY?
If you don’t stretch properly beforehand, anything can happen.
I have no wish to have Katies crotch thanks!
Sigh. Yet another double airline seater, though he wouldn’t get on anyway with that shirt… those buttons are a weapon.
…When your waistline is the same as the circumference of table you eat at.
….It is time to get a bigger table.
I’ve a way to go yet. My table is a 10 seater rectangle, extendable to 12 on a good week.
Hmmmm, you may need to work a heck of a lot harder there!
How does one find the circumference of a rectangle? Is there pie involved?
There’s always pie involved. Chicken pie, vegetable pie, mince pie, apple pie…
I like the pieniss of it all
I’m sure you do, granny, I’m sure you do.
anytime.
*squeezeback*
this just makes me sick
Oh a condom!
Apparently this man ist not someone who would risk his health and life for some moments of carnal pleasure, isnt that a fine example!
I’d bet a free refill that this came from one of those chubby chaser websites. Which would make the rubber intentional.
Not any more appetizing, though.
Ah, he’s an optimist! He’s laughing cos his glass is half full.
….and the bottle is more than half full.
let’s just hope the condom is less than half full.
Hey, just practice safe lunch: Use a condoment.
Wow, Scott Kurtz has really been slimming down. Good for him!
Ha! I was thinking the same thing.
*akes up*
wa….?
this chicken really makes my ass hurt
*Hands Granny forceps*
*makes a wish*
going back for sloppy seconds
who is “sloppy seconds” and when did they get here?
he came in a couple of minutes before thrusty thirds
What? no filthy fourths?
Um, when I asked for cream with my dessert, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind!
condom, booze, cigarettes, and chicken… no wonder he is about to explode… he is having the time of his life… he is happy… I wonder how many of you could do the same…?
*snork*
It’s no wonder I like you.
*squeeze*
Can you see the pink condom???
Are you going to perform a magic trick?
With the condom all I’m thinking is he really “porked” it…
Jarrod from subways before pic?
Maybe I’m seeing things, but is that a pink condom on the table?
The vertical stripes are very slimming
Yeah, what’s with the effing condom…….pretty sure that guy hasn’t seen or used his manhood in quite some time
WTF WTF WTF??? Nice pre – rolled out condom, just incase….
and okay….this is really reminding me of somone i actually know…. D:
“Do these stripes make me look fat?”
It’s the used condom on the table that makes it a fail, God like 60% of you are stupid, like, god, AAAAHHHHHHH!
O RLY??@?@?@??@????@@@??!!!???
*Note to self-stay off Failblog when you have the stomach flu*
at least he’s happy
That’s horrible even without the condom on the table there.
Seriously this kind of makes me sick…my guess is he’s drunk, judging from that glowing red cheek.
is this not an obviously staged picture illustrating some deadly sins?
NOM NOM NOM!
He has beaten Anorexia at last! Then he made love to Anorexia on the table.
Thank goodness for those vertical stripes. It creates an illusion of thining.
Alfred Molina has really let himself go! You know, the guy who played Doctor Otto Octavius in Spider-man 2…
You put the condom over an unfinished bottle of wine and add a rubber band to the top to seal it. This keeps air from getting into the wine and ruining the taste. The wine stays fresh and can be drank later. Pretty old trick and effective if you cant get the cork back into the bottle.
“Its been a while since we have been invited to see a good photo shot”
Sincerely, Puke, Disgusting, and blow-torch.
Lol @ vertically striped background, putting the emphasis on him.
Poor guy, i hope he is happy tho.
What has America come to?!?
Actually, I’m pretty sure this is italian. Not American. We don’t use hair grease like that.
by the looks of him hes not ganna need that lol
It’s only wafer thin monsieur
that pink thing is a condom
and they say stripes are slimming…
This is showing the 7 deadly sins, duh not a fail douche bags
no way thats a FAIL. He has good food, good wine, smoking a cigarette and he just busted a nut. And best of all he protected himselm….look how happy he looks.. TOTAL WIN!!
Geesh, It should be an after dinner THREAT lol
Oh a condom!
Apparently this man ist not someone who would risk his health and life for some moments of carnal pleasure, isnt that a fine example!
This is picture of gluttony: the wine and cheese, fowl on the table, drumstick in-hand, the condominium/hotel fine living, the smile, the obesity, three bottles of liquor, and a pink condom.
FAIL indeed.
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