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Cheezburger Company Blog
Happy No Moderation Day!!!
♫♪ Imagine all the people….♫♪
♫♪You might say I’m a bailjumper… but I’m the only one…
♫♪I hope someday you’ll join me, in cell block 401!♫♪
What the hell … ???
I imagine you are confused.
This has to be another notworthy fail…iPad Jailbreak already?
No thank you very much.
Ha ha ha ha ha. I give him an “A” for effort.
yeah, but isn’t that an emergency exit on the right? :S
No. Its not.
no f for effort
there’s a fire escape on the right of screen
repeat fail
No you fail, the door is one of the double doors. The automatic door closer and the push bar validate that the door swings into the hall and is being held in the open position.
The door has one of those bits in the top right which automatically closes it once it has been opening, this shows that the door opens from the other side not the side you can see
That would have been better if you had good grammar
Sorry, you this blog confused with Gizmodo.
Wow, I didn’t even know I was channeling Yoda.
Yoda drops the word “have” into dark abysses too?
He’s sneaky like that.
Maybe … if I believed it. I still don’t. I can’t imagine what’s going on.
LADIES! Your language!
This is the raunchiest Fail I’ve ever participated on.
Oh it is not!! It’s just the foulest mouthed. hehe
I think there were a few that were just as bad, even with the moderation in the way.
*Soaps down failblog*
*slides by on slick surface*
*poke tickle Marius*
*poke tickle Avis*
*slams into window and rebounds*
Damn. I hate it when that happens.
Oh dear, a soapy, slick, blog today…~whatever will we do?~
*slips and slides all over*
*tries desperately to keep clothes on*
*slides slyly on slick surface*
*steals Ms B’s pants*
*remembers Brewski with a fond smile*
That’s one way to get ahead.
I thought that was illegal in most states, Nevada being a notable exception.
I think I am done swearing for the day. It felt good but now my system is rejecting it.
*gives Leila injection of non-cussing antivenom*
Let me know if that doesn’t take. We might have to administer it every couple minutes, or so, until you’re back to normal.
I slipped.
No more. You guys are a bad influence on me.
HeHeee!!!!
Oh, right. WE’RE a bad influence on YOU. Uh-huh. Sure.
I think I am too. But I reserve the right to change my mind at any time.
You’re female; that goes without saying.
Arthur, you are a trained homo sapien!!!
*eyes Arthur narrowly*
What was that, sweetie?
Ooooh, this ought to be fun to watch!
It’s the privilege of women since the dawn of time to change their mind whenever they feel like it.
*squeeze*
*FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!*
Oh…hm. My fires were all stoked up and then you squeezed them out of me.
Good thing you deserved it.
Yikes, a few seconds sooner and I would have been toast!
Heehee!
*hands the Admiral a bukkit of water*
Here…I think Arthur needs this.
*SPLOOOOOOOOSHES Arthur*
Ooops, I missed a spot…
*licks finger, inserts in AE’s left ear*
I would PLLBBBT at you both, but I have to run to the nearest ocean now. Sea ya’.
*loveyalikecrazySQUEEZE!*
Ooo, pick up an iPad on your way…it comes preloaded with an app that checks the tides for you.
I change mine whenever a better one comes along.
(Me too. Would be silly to admit that right now, though. Oh wait… damn.)
*backs slowly away from AE*
Ewe got that right.
I really rather like my hair just now, and don’t wish to see it set ablaze just now, thang-kew!
If the filter is just temporarily borked, we might all end up being banned…
And who will we bla…er, accuse?
The French government. Poor Dreyfus!
It wasn’t the profanity that did that to you, it was the acid.
DOH!
safety glass …..
WIN!
“I want to break free.” -Queen
Again?!?!?!?!
*grumbles off to find a cure for earworms*
♫Nowhere to run to baby, nowhere to hide.♪
Another one bites the dust.
♫They say that breaking up..is… hard to do♫
♫Take, these broken wings, and learn to fly again, learn to live so free♪
♫ I believe I can fly… I believe I can touch the sky… ♫
Exit stage left … or not.
Lets see if the if the guy notices when we replace the glass with a trampoline. Lets watch.
Let’s see if this guy notices when we replace his arm with a shattered tangle of bone fragments.
Let’s watch.
Problem was, he wasn’t pursued by a bear.
If Mythbusters has taught me anything, it’s that nothing ever works the way it does in the movies.
Amen!!
Although, I find myself wanting to try those experiments- at home… ALL THE TIME.
“Do not try this at home. EVER!”
Not even the ones where they make stuff blow up?
*pouts*
You know, they really shouldn’t let the build team go unsupervised. I just watched an episode where one of Grant’s homemade cannons was fired without having been secured. The damn thing would have seriously hurt or killed one of them had they been hit. The result took them totally by surprise.
There are probably plenty of accidents to create some great extra episodes (which, regretfully, will never be made)
*secretly wishes the fail doesn’t bring on the haters*
Yay what’s your name for powering the fail. Yay.
It’s happening down below. *sigh*
*puts a variety of cakes and cookies out in the break room*
*adds sordid pies and drinkies*
Sankoooo…
*noms sordid pies and drinks drinkies*
I know this is No Moderation day, but sordid pies?
Shhh. Don’t tell anyone.
*takes a sordid pie*
Mmmm, tastes…varied!
Mine had sun dried fruits in it.
I have cookies with white chocolate!
Description for the video-challenged, please?
Camera captures a guy running down a long hallway. Imagine all windows on one side and wall on the other. You see him running back obviously he was being chase and he tries to ram thru the window but bounces off it and stumbles. The cops … several of them show up with guns drawn and he is on the ground face down giving up.
Mine took longer because I chose more words. I even gave her the all important DOT ORG!
*squeeze*
Dude charges down the hall, apparently running from something. Dude tears through the open double doors and around a left turn we can’t really see. Seconds later, dude returns running back the way he came. Soon he remembers why he was running the other way, a cop appears at the end of the hall running after him. A cop then also appears through the doors where dude just came from. He’s surrounded! What to do? Maybe if we jump through these windows on the left … nope. Now, instead of picking himself up off the floor, he just puts his hands behind his back and waits for the inevitable …
Cue some generic poster with a generic powered by … DOT ORG!
Darn, you got a better one then me.
All because of you meddling kids and that DOT ORG!
Won’t somebody please reply to the poor kitteh? She needs to know what’s in the video!
What can we say, we just love NS so much we all wanted to help her.
♥ I feel the love. ♥
Y’all are warming me to teh depths uv mah intertoobz.
*scratches head*
You want me to use my head in order to understand lolspeak? Surely you do not.
*squeezeNS*
*wanders off in search of brain bleach*
*frantically searches for brain bleach*
There’s bleach a little further down the fail. But be careful. It burns.
Are you channeling granny?
Yeah right ladies, it’s MY fault that she spoke in that perverted lolspeak!
Well…no. I mean yes.
Dammit, I am so confused!!!
Hallelujah! Personally I figured we’d just overlook the kitteh’s four paws.
Arthur, we blame you for everything. Don’t you remember?
And that feels sooo good.
And you found my secret message to you all the way across the entire Internet!
Eeeeeek! A double-agent mouse!
Gracie, are you missing these? ~~
Um, ok.
*takes tildes*
*puts them in pocket for future use*
Well, as it nestled further and further from the comment I was replying to, it made less sense. But it would have made sense. I swear. It might have almost been funny.
If you turn the sound up, you can almost hear “Yakkity Sax” in the background.
Ok, here is the setup. We need you the wanted man, running toward the camera, then when you get past turn around and run back. Just as you get to the middle of the enclosed walkway, stop and the cops will run in. Ok, here is the big moment. You jump thru the window to escape. No, don’t worry it will break.
Ready?
Action!
And a dump truck hits the overpass knocking the guy back.
And then……………….FOOM the whole thing sets on fire and he falls off the trampoline.
But where’s the phallic reference?
You are on a
today.
I was getting tired of toast.
But what of your buns?!?!?
They were hurting me so I had to go into Kaiser. That’s how I ended up with the rolls.
Ah, I see! Thanks, muffin.
If you bagel let you have a taste.
*shrinks back*
…of what?
Security camera video of a skywalk. A guy comes running down it, and then goes back the other way where he sees cops. He quickly tries to jump out of the window, but only bounces off. Cops close in on both sides, and he lays down on the ground in surrender. “Edmund Donates”(?) powers, and then cue the bicycle guy.
Dantes! Goddammit, you’re begging for REVENGE!!!!
Tee-hee! I didn’t even watch it yet!
Careful what yee wish for, young padawan.
He went ↔↕ thataway!
Okay. Thanks!!
*goes ↔↕ thataway*
*is in pain*
Hate when it happens
And hate when it doesn’t.
dumb vibrator.
*Snickers*
Yes thank you Marius. I was starving.
They say Snickers really satisfies.
I don’t know what they say about Marius.
Well, we know that Marius snickers, so I imagine that he’s very satisfying.
*snofls*
Well, either way, he looks satisfied.
ROFLs!!!!
Self-defenestration fail.
Think Italian Judy. Finestra means window. I don’t know if that helps.
That is one of my most favorite words, EVAR!
Think?
Italian?
Judy?
“Judy”, of course! That’s my sissy!
I keep thinking of “deforestation”. Maybe if I picture looking at a tree while leaping out of a window…
RUN FORREST!
Great! Now I have a craving for a box of chocolates! Marius, you are no good for my diet!
You could have shrimp instead.
*fleeswithaquickness*
He tried to give you some yesterday. I *yoinked* them and gave them to the little ones.
That’s okay, sweetie, you didn’t know.
*non-fat, sugar free squeeze*
(Thanks, Ms. B!)
I’ve lost 20 lbs now!!! Whoooo hoooo!
*keeps a dictionary by the computer*
*can’t remember the Failspelling of “dictionary”*
*pulls out dicitionary*
Let’s see here…hmmm…I’m not finding that word in here anywhere.
*writes “diicitionary” on the front page of aforementioned book*
*defenestrates Windows*
*applauds*
Bill Gates????
Without walls and ceilings, who needs Windows or Gates?
I love how he first has to pull his baggy pants up,before he tries to break through..
I would have loved it more if he tripped on the pants that he never learned how to put on properly and actualy went through the glass.
*wishes the baggy pants trend would leap out a window to its death*
Do you think if we told them it looks like they’ve “had an accident” they might stop?
I wish that were the answer. It’s really been going on far too long, now. It’s just so … ridiculous-looking. And … impractical. Further, I don’t really care to look at someone’s underwear — male or female.
It’s called underwear for a reason. A very good reason, too!
I agree. I was thinking about promoting a strike. All the tragically unhip (such as myself) adopt the style for a week. I figure, if their parents started sagging like that, it might finally kill the trend.
I don’t think it take a week. More like a day. Tops.
Actually, I like the trend in a comical sort of way. It makes it easy to pick out the idiots.
Quite right, ZA. It’s like having an “L” stamped on your forehead.
I’m convinced that there is a group of people that get together and say to each other “I wonder what we can get them to wear next?” I imagine they are the stylists for any and all entertainers.
Actually, the style is called “jailin’”. The fashion was started by convicts that had their pants falling down when their belts were taken away from them as they were incarcerated. (sp?) I don’t think these brain trust members know that they are essentially stating that they love the look of being jailed by letting their pants hang low and their underoo’s show.
A guy in one of my previous classes wore his pants like that. One day, he walked up to hand in a quiz, and while I was walking back to his desk, his pants slid completely down to his ankles, he tripped…fell…and cracked his head against another student’s desk.
Stylin’–it can be hazardous to your health.
How did you contain your laughter?
LMAO!!!!
Don’t forget the male prostitution origin. I used to wear baggy pants when I was younger. But the point was that they were baggy. I can’t figure out the damn tight ass skinny jeans off the ass thing.
Erm…HE was walking back to his desk, not I. *bukkits*
And Avis, I don’t find it funny when people actually hurt themselves. I really had no desire to laugh.
I giggle when I get hurt or just do something spectacularly un-graceful and try not to when someone else does. But, when I do, I totally blame the 3 Stooges for making it funny.
The sight of blood does tend to take away from the Three Stooges effect, doesn’t it.
Probably to help heave himself out the window. Not enough heave I guess.
*shrugs*
The pros and cons of tempered glass.
The well tempered clavicle.
Fugative.
He baroque his humerus.
:[
At least the window’s not baroque. Nobody has to fix it.
It wasn’t him! It was the one-armed man!
At least he was well prepared.
Which is to say he knew exactly how to lay on the ground when the cops approached.
*sign, sign, pass*
I wish I knew what that meant.
Everybody signed a petition a long time ago (in the days of “King Troll”) that we are supposed to just ignore the trolls. The regulars at that time *signed, signed, and passed* the petition to all the FPs.
Here you go, this wasn’t the first time the petition was passed, but it was the largest signing.
failblog.org/2009/06/08/tv-model-fail/#comment-458658
*single tear drips down face*
AA gave them to me over three months ago and I still haven’t been able to troll bash with them. They’re clean and unstained.
I would never use the nutcrackers on a FP.
I never said you would 3Bs, I just wanted to put up the history. I enjoy reading the old fails sometimes.
*squeeze*
I’m really amazed at how many of our current regulars were there. Though some of them had different monikers. (like Iusuallylurk ♀, heehee)
Who is that Iusuallylurk ♀ person anyway? TeeHeeeee!!!!!
*sigh*
WhoaNellie, Brewski, Emperor, Mr. Cuddles, and
I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen abstract or aikiwaza on here.
*double sigh*
Don’t forget Foop.
*triple sigh*
..or Bearly either.
*sigh x4*
And DrB and SidheCat!
gaynorvader?
That’s our petition to ignore all trolls and not engage them or give them the attention they so badly crave.
*butt sign, sign, pass*
Please, remain dumb.
Well, they have smart vibrators, but this one must be one of the truly CHEAP ones. All it’s able to do is rattle.
*shakes head sadly*
Poor dumb bob.
Just sit on your washer during the spin cycle. Money saving tip.
I would but……….bleach burns. It’s a long story.
What?!!
Nothing happe……….Nobody sa……….okay, nothing got recorded.
*both wants to, and sincerely doesn’t want to know the story*
Me too little bird. Me too.
Haha. Several years ago, some of my friends and I all lived close together. We would join forces and go to the laundrymat together. One of my pals was trying to demonstrate the..er.. varied uses of the spin cycle as a joke. The details are still a little fuzzy (lack of oxygen from hysterical laughter) but, she leaned a little too far one way, started flipping over backward, flung her feet out to catch herself, kicked the bottle of Clorox out of another friends hand (lid was off as it was about to be poured into a fresh load), landed on the floor, flat on her back, bleach bottle flips over and lands open ended on her crotch. All she kept saying was, it burns, it burns, it burns. I am now terrified of using the spin cycle innapropriately.
Told you it was a long story.
By the way, there was no lasting damage and the burning might have been due to a………er……..fresh shave, as it were.
*SNORK!*
“As it were”
*SNORK!!*
OMG!!!!
This friend was one of those people that these things just always happened to. LOL When her friends met each other, we would immeadiately be comfortable with each other as we traded ‘Chele Lynn Stories. That was actually one of the tamer ones. Still makes me laugh though.
I knew one of those, too. A classic by him was to ride his bike to school one morning through a broken bottle. Result: One flat tire. After school he pushed his bike through THE VERY SAME pile of fragments. Result: Two flat tires.
Did anyone notice he totally ignored the door on the right?
THAT DOOR WOULD CLOSED OFF THE HALLWAY! (if closed)
FAIL!
You’re still here?
Why would i leave fool?
Pink is one of my favorite colors.
Pink is one of my favorite singers.
(not really, but I wanted to be supportive to Cousin Leila -MOSFAM)
“There was the hum of bees, and the musky odor of pinks filled the air”
- Kate Chopin, The Awakening
Wanna race for pinks, Jeana?
*pinky swears*
♫Let the geek in the pink take a stab at it♪
*gets out the pinking shears*
prefer pink floyd
Oh by the way,
which one is Pink?
Have a cigar, ZA, you’re gonna go far!
Blonde..
I am a brunette. I do like a lot of blonde haired actresses though.
Yes, I’m a natural blue.
I like you anyway.
Seamonkey has my money.
Noggin’!!! *bumps heads with Ms B*
Look, you’re really cute but I can’t understand what you’re saying!
I’m not. Leila painted me. It seems to be permanent. But I love it!
You wear it well.
No, undead. Don’t worry, lots of people make that mistake.
Dude was lucky…not the kind of thing anyone should attempt on the North SKYwalk!
although maybe he is a Jedi…
Don’t try this mind trick at home!
*goes home to try it*
*goes to Leila’s home to try it*
*wanders onto freeway to try it*
Good thing the force of his shoulder wasn’t strong enough.
He tried to storm his way through — what a trooper!
[^ that one made me lol for real
]
Yoda thought he would’ve just surrendered outright rather than risk bodily harm.
[
]
Betcha he had a hard time ewoking away from that one…
Yeah, those officers definitely Leia’d down the law on him.
Didja see that Wookie cop step up like a pro?
Yeah, some new guys R2 nervous to take the lead, but not that one.
I’ll bet that *thwack* probably jar-jarred his teeth a bit.
..anakin guarantee he’ll have a bruise tomorrow.
What jawana bet he’s gonna get the book thrown at him?
Things are not lukeing good for him at all
Good thing the police didn’t maul him! Didn’t look like they’re rogue leaders, though.
I’m just glad he didn’t fall to his death, he should thank his lucky stars.
You can bet they’re going to bantha guy from using the skywalker forever.
I wonder if his life of crime has come to an endor if he’s going to run into trouble again.
I hate it when people do this, because I never think of anything… but then again it makes me laugh………………. OMG! I GOT ONE! The force was not strong with this one.
*await expectantly*
Sith is going to cost him his freedom, for sure.
I’m glad I have my spoon on, MGG.
Good thing he didn’t try to take a jabba-t the officer or kick him in the huts.
This is surely going to destroyer his life.
That’s what he gets for such generally grievous behavior.
In that light, he’d better saber his freedom while he can.
[Dory]Sorry. Could you come back later? We’re trying to escape.[/Dory]
[Dory]Escapeeee. That’s funny. It’s spelled like the word “escape.”[/Dory]
The force is not strong with this skywalker.
This is not the suspect you are looking for.
Move along.
He did see three P.O., but it turns out there were five.
[^ Masterful]
Sooner or vader he was going to find out just how many officers were actually chasing him.
Run, run, run… Oh crap! Back track, back track… Oh crap! Window, window, winD’OH! Okay, I give up.
Being surrounded by agitated and armed authority figures is never a good place to assert your independence. I guess we should give the guy credit for at least having the brains to understand that!
Just enough for a lite snack ZA?
Hmm.
*tries to attack the guy in the video*
*fails*
*damages computer screen in the process*
*quietly replaces screen*
*pulls out baggie of troll brainz left over from previous fails*
Snack?
Mmmmm, thanks!
nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom
8)
What about ‘em?
I like the approach of covering-up the haters’ posts. Don’t have to reply or bate them — just cover-up their post with something witty…
I likey very much. If you have a pink skirt, would you wear a black top with it?
I would! I quite like the “Good and Plenty” look. You?
I would say I do but I am not sure I know what “Good and Plenty” means.
Clicky ^.
It’s a licorice candy here. Pink and black capsule-shaped things, as I recall.
Blech.
It’s a type of candy. LGB’s clickie should be work safe.
Dammit!! I was hoping for some racy pics of half naked men. Good and Plenty sounds like it would deliver just that.
I’ve been let down.
Heeeee!!!!!!
They have a rich cultural history? They’ve overcome ignorant assumptions about them based solely on their race? Oh wait. That second one is still being worked on.
“You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.”
YES Mom!!!!
Now go clean up your room.
I hate you!
This is my four-year-old’s favorite phrase right now.
Aww. Poor B. On the other hand, it’s balanced by the picking and presenting of dandylions. That helps.
*squeezesBwithlove*
*loves dandelions*
My little (but getting too big too fast) girls pick me loads of dandelions. Also grape hyacinths, which grow in abundance in my yard.
Ms B, it breaks your heart. I know. Sorry I mentioned it.
Awww. Well, I love you!
*squeezies*
*squeezes Ms B*
They do grow out of that. I promise.
5 white guys gangbanging black one
I like the way the way the carpet runs right down the center of the hallway. And it’s so nicely lit. I’m partial to ambient lighting, howe..ver.
*grabs ellipses out of post*
*flicks with thumb and forefinger*
I don’t know LGB, nothing like natural lighting. Look at those beautiful windows.
Look, don’t touch. They will hurt you.
And you will die. And it will hurt the whole time.
*snorffle*
*RIGL*
*tounches*
*waits to see what happens*
*pokes*
*pays*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
You just can’t hold a zombie to any kind of contract, even if they signed it.
I keep forgetting he is undead. Wonder if I should become one too.
♬
I looked death in the face last night
I saw him in a mirror.
And he simply smiled
He told me not to worry
He told me just to take my time
♬
No rush Leila. You only live once, but undead is forever.
That’ll disappoint Buddhists!
*quickly erases 3Bs unneccessary apostrophe*
Now really, I’m more of a mottled gray than anything but that doesn’t make me less of a person.
This does.
*removes left arm and drops it on the ground*
Now if you had a brain I could make you less of a person by eating it, but unfortunately you don’t. To bad too, I’m starting to feel hungry and could use a good snack.
*whistles*
That’s gonna slow down your typing, ZA.
No worries, I have all the time in the world.
My jabbering is still moderated!
*Curses Failblog*
WHAT? Whisper to me what you said.
Gabble. mumble burble blubber sputter.
Prattle gabble mumble burble blubber
Jabber prattle gabble mumble burble?
Jibber blather mutter chatter.
Jibber jabber?
Jibber blather mutter jabber.
Rule 1) I can not add chatter to the above.
It’s offical. My brother has lost it. *sigh*
You imply he once knew where it was.
offical???
Off-i-cal. It’s a new diet drink that you only take while working.
babble
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: talk trivially, often incessantly
Synonyms: blab, blubber, blurt, burble, cackle, chat, chatter, gibber, go on, gossip, gush, jabber, mumble, murmur, mutter, patter, prate, prattle, rant, rave, run off at the mouth, run on, spill the beans, squeal, talk foolishly, talk incoherently, talk nonsensically, tattle, trivialize, yak, yakkety yak
blab, blather, blubber, blurt, burble, cackle, chat, chatter, gabble, gibber, go on, gossip, gush, jabber, mumble, murmur, mutter, patter, prate, prattle, rant, rave, run off at the mouth, run on, spill the beans, sputter, squeal, talk foolishly, talk incoherently, talk nonsensically, tattle, trivialize, yak, yakkety yak.
blab, blather, blubber, blurt, burble, cackle, chat, chatter, gabble, gibber, go on, gossip, gush, jabber, jibber, mumble, murmur, mutter, patter, prate, prattle, rant, rave, run off at the mouth, run on, spill the beans, sputter, squeal, talk foolishly, talk incoherently, talk nonsensically, tattle, trivialize, yak, yakkety yak.
Dear Failblog,
Every one of the words I used (even the misspelled one) are in the above post. Why are they filtered out when I use them without the additional words?
Regards,
Marius
*Screams, pulls hair, gnashes teeth*
*gives Marius his anti-seizure meds*
Ooo, that had extra pun potential juxtaposed with my comment. VV
Are you alright?
I think one of his crossbeam’s gone out of skew on t’ treadle.
Yes. I’ll stop now. I know it is a blog killer, but it has been a sore spot with me for weeks now. Thanks AE.
Swearing about it will make you feel much, MUCH, MUCH better. Try it!
Sons of Bumpuses!
OK, whose turn is it to medicate Marius?
Are the filters back now?
*imagines a day with no- and I mean NO- trolls*
*sighs contentedly*
Must be. They ate my first reply to you.
(The much-overused “f” word of the day.)
It’s there. At least, I can see it.
It’s there now It didn’t show when I first posted it.
I saw it right after it was posted.
Damnit!
Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jub-Jub bird and shun the fumerous bandersnatch.
*has no idea how to spell those words, has no copy of said poem nearby*
I had to check an online version to see. You did well. FB won’t let me make it a clicky.
jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/jabberwocky.html
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
And with his head, he went gallumping back.
I wonder if this simplifies things for Arthur. CLICKIE!!!!!
It doesn’t say how I can turn that thing on… I’ll rely on my friend’s daughter for that.
You rely on your friend’s daughter for turning things on? Does he know?
OH NOES! *hides*
THAT thing. One particular thing! An iPod, to be precise.
Just kidding you Arthur!
Maybe if you rub it on your mumblemumble.
*runsaway*
Off Topic Alert
So the Verizon saga continues. I got a text this a.m. from them saying if I didn’t want the phone cut off to call them. I called Mama Bird instead and now her blood pressure is through the roof. They claim we still owe something like $500 now.
You really should pay your bills.
GRRRRRRR!
It’s for an “equiptment fee” that gets tacked on to your bill when you order a phone but don’t activate it. You know, that phone we NEVER ORDERED.
AND, AND they want to charge us late fees because the bill hasn’t been paid yet!
Question: how does one pay a bill when you never received the damned thing because they forgot to change the billing and shipping address back to the correct one?
Breathe Avis. Breathe!
*delivers never ordered phone*
*awaits payment*
It actually was delivered. To a vacant lot.
*switches cell phone service provider*
Have your revenge by delivering something to them they never ordered. And, of course, add an overpriced bill.
A piano would be nice.
That made me really actually LOL!
Thank you!!
*tips hat*
I think it was the implied pause that did it.
*still giggling*
It’s a thought…
Order them a pizza under the name “I. C. Wiener”.
Naw, nevermind. That will just get rid of the pizza delivery guy.
Sounds perfectly reasonable from the evil corporations point of view. Why do you think their company logo looks so much like the death star?
Oh crud, I just looked back and saw it’s Verizon and not AT&T. Damn that makes me look stupid. Fortunately I’m brain dead and can use that as an excuse.
You are so bad!
I am trying to like Verizon. They are the ones carrying the phone I want – Droid. I am the Anti-Apple.
Me too! Well, I just think they overprice their products, and get away with it because people want to look cool.
Psst, Apple sold expensive products waaaay before they became status symbols.
We had to in this household, PC’s don’t/didn’t run the design programs both my mother and stepfather use.
I’m a Vorizon customer as well.
Bless their hearts. *sigh and sad head shake*
Don’t do it. Verizon has proven to be incompetent twits.
That’s a matter of opinion.
*dances a jig on the razors edge*
It’s a matter of fact that they cripple products by disabling features to maintain draconian control over their customers though.
I don’t blame you though.
Verizon just announced it’s cutting another 13,000 jobs.
Probably from their quality control personnel.
With Verizon math, that might be only 130 jobs, or it could be 1,300,000 jobs.
Just my 0.02¢
YES!!! I submitted this one!
LIES!!!!
Nope. It was on WGN one night and I had to find it and send it in.
Video, or it didn’t happen.
why didnt he just take the door?^^
Well, you see, Max, if I may, the door is kinda heavy. He would probably have to have another person help him with it, and I really don’t think those poice officers are the proper candidates…
Removing the door pins with nothing but your fingers or a .38 special is more difficult than it looks.
I thought it was.
Wait. Gotta get rid of my Good and Plenty clickie.
Deferred defenestration.
*sighs*
Here I go again…what was that? Something about trees…and chocolate…and Italian words…
Actually, English is sort of the odd one out with its Germanic common noun for “window”. “fenestra” is the Latin, whence Italian “finestra”, French “fenêtre”, German “Fenster”, Dutch “venster”, and via Dutch Afrikaans “venster” (“v” pronounced “f”).
Invisible door *WIN*
Oh dear!
Woohoo, already a new comment
Nice fail though.
Slightly off topic (ok, WAY off topic):
Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer’s invention, so large shipments of manure were common.
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term ‘ Ship High In Transit ‘ on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term ‘S.H.I.T ‘, (Ship High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
I heard it stood for Fornication Under Consent of the King.
Avis, that’s a myth. It actually comes from an old Anglo-Saxon word of Germanic origin.
I kinda figured, that’s why I qualified my statement!
Dragon is right. There’s a great book if you’re interested in this.
“Sexy Origins and Intimate Things” I can’t remember the author’s name right now, but it was a very interesting book.
Yeah right, blame ze Germans…
Sorry Gracie, it’s a great story, but an urban legend.
snopes.com/language/acronyms/shit.asp
Maybe, but it’s still a fun story, innit?
*squeeze*
Oh yeah, I laughed at the story.
*squeezy*
Do we really HAVE to know the ship-thingy?
Yes. It will be on the test later.
Did you know that green invokes a sense of safety in people?
I rather like green. Froggies are green. I like froggies…
Does anyone know what color love is? I think it’s purple!
No surprise that you got that wrong.
I’m not that partial to froggies, but green has long been my favorite color. Blue takes a close second.
I’m also quite fond of pastels — I’m always drawn to watercolor paintings.
I usually just brush them aside.
It’s like a blank canvass.
If you get a finer one, you’ll paint thinner lines.
Sounds pretty easel when you put it like that.
The pointillism is that you need to think small, instead of big.
Exactly, I’ve been thinking too abstractly lately.
Art you feeling all right?
I’m exhibiting a few symptoms, but otherwise I’m fine.
Should we contact a medium? You’re acting a bit like an ochre.
Aww you’re a pal-ette’s really no big deal though.
You’re a model of strength.
hmm-useum to really know what you’re talking about.
You armeture for your age, I can tell.
If your heart races and is beating at an abnormal rate, call your doctor. It could be serious.
You don’t like our tactics of spinning the discussion into a positive one?
Go to it sista!
The comments will be orphaned but it will be more than worth it.
We didn’t start the flame war, peeps were hatin’ on it before I left my comment.
You don’t have to continue.
That will be a strange mix of comments below….
The real tragedy is now no one is going to get my Ms. Trolleson reference (I originally misread her name as Jenna, so the chances of someone getting it were thin to begin with, but now it’s wasted away to nothingness).
No. No, we don’t. If you do, then perhaps you should address this problem.
*THWACK*
*kicks post up one ^*
Poor 3B!
By the way, I’m not a troll…I’m a level 6 goblin!!!
…Fail…
Emily, one to beam out into empty space, widest possible separation.
Justification is like masturbation: you’re only screwing yourself.
*gigglesnork!*
We? Whaddya mean, WE???
It was Arthur’s fault!!!
*pat pat pat-SQUEEEEZE*
….and the fire escape he ran past twice obviously wasnt good enoough….
A black man on the run, nothing special in the US or is it?
Too bad the window isn’t made of sugar.
Wish this had audio… would love to hear that thunk as he bounces back off the window.
Looks like a Window Win to me.
Seriously, this happened a town away from me, and the man is from my hometown. I am truly not surprised someone from this town would try.
Damn pigs, always holding the brothas down.
Does he notice that there is a door
Anyone notice that the runner knew exactly what to do when he was cornered?
Looks like a pro… at being caught anyway.
Cowboy Bebop
See, I’m not the only racist here.
Way to go black guy.
Why do they want to be called “african americans”? What are they called in England or France? “african english”?
See, they’re dumb.
I’m guessing this guy thought he was a superhero. Opting to try to crash through a window. Great thinking bro next time don’t forget your cape and mask.
fyi, this video syncs up with the current “days of our lives” d now playing at the end of the videos. play the video prior to it and start this as the ad comes on. WIN!
There’s no escape!
why didnt he tried to open the door at the right?::P
just like steve mcqueen!
You gotta try a little harder than that if you really wanted to escape.
I Know Exactly Where That Is, Its One Of The Kids At The Horsham Rehabilitation Clinic In Pennsylvania, The Kids Name I Forget But He Has a Neurological problem(schizophrenia) And Is Constantly Trying To Excape.
I Think That His Name Was Lewis And I Also Think That He Needs Better Help Then What Horsham Can Provide.
was it desean?
WINDOWS WIN!
Yeah this happened in my hometown. They had it on the news and I knew it would end up on failblog someday.
This guy is not an idiot at all. There was an inter-dimensional portal on the other side of the window. He almost made it!
FAITAITLY
I know this kid OMG
justice or police WIN!!!!!!