The belly is not a great place to feature art
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Wonderful start to the week.
Fish?
I’m thinking LSD would be the only way to figure this one out.
It seems a busy fresco, there isn’t mushroom!
*gets coat*
I’m still trying to hash out what’s going on in this picture.
He must be pointing at his heroine?
Maybe he’s thirsty, and ordering two Cokes.
Maybe weed better think about this one a little.
EPIC JESUS FAIL
I think that he won’t return to save us any more 
wow. isnt it ridicoulous how we have to attack the promise of God and the hope of Christianity because someone can’t draw?
seriously?
Christianity has plenty of comedy without the need for art.
NO we are not starting this again.
Please.
I agree…
*thirds that motion*
This is one time I’d stick with the topic and focus on the artist. Don’t want to go down the debate road again.
But it’s cold out, and a little flame war might just help out.
@sauer: clickie for one suggestion
No one’s attacking Christianity. I’m pretty sure Suyalus was just jokingly implying that Jesus may not feel like saving us after seeing how badly we paint him.
Or do you consider any Jesus-related joke to be an attack?
Christianity is retarded.
*Facepalm*
I gladly embrace my retardedness.
*facestab*
Who said it was a six pack?
Or his Viagara
He points out ‘I love YOU! Man riding fish!’
that was the first thing I thought too!
Hung on the cross, indeed.
kudos
Best comment ever.
Too funny!!! A bit blasphemous (sp) but still funny
Hmm… I don’t need LSD. Clear enough on my LCD.
not you again garry
“hey, can’t touch this”
you mean: You can’t touch this!
I thought we were referring to the knot in the towel, which also looks suspicious…
*Double facepalm*
… dearie, you will so hurt your hand doing that.
“hey, can’t touch this”
My god!
Jesus!
Jebus has a tumah.
A tummy tumah.
<Schwarzenegger>It’s naht a tumah.</Schwarzenegger>
Well it’s certainly tumescent.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
avatar fail
*hangs head*
Christ all mighty!
You just cost me a trip to confession–and I’m not even Catholic.
We must all bear our crosses.
*checks behind her*
Wow, iconic.
You have a behind?
Who painted a pic of my man bulge?
Werewolf or very hairy man, upper LH corner.
awe, you saw it too
Is it trying to rip his head off? The more I look at this picture, the more it is freaking me out.
Touched by an angel.
It looks to be covered in feathers, to me.
IT’S BIRD MAN!!!
me too, wow! nightmares!
*contemplates becoming religous in case this Jesus looks like this*
Is it wrong, I just want to poke it? :[ :S
…at least it isn’t pierced!
If you do, he’d giggle like the Pillsbury dough boy.
Yay, I want to do it now, where is that picture?
*paces in a small circle biting fingernails*
*spits out nails*
Whose were those, they tasted of grape soda?
Mine. That’s my special fingernail polish. It’s sparkly, too. You like?
PRETTTTTTTTY
Nah, Jesus hasn’t been feeling well. The werewolf is checking his forehead for a temperature.
Has he got the flew?
No, totaly flightless.
the hairy piece of arm of that man it’s his coat, made from camel fur .
the picture is the baptism of Jesus in the Jordan river. and the source of this naive painting is eastern medieval.
That is aweome, mind you I would never wear a camel coat, it would give PETA the hump!
*goes to get coat again*
no peta in the 30′s, the very first 30′s so Saint John Baptist didn’t need to worry. and actually the camel was shavem, like sheeps are, so no harm there.
….
Sooo, it’s wrong to kill the sheep before shaving them?
it’s wrong to kill!
but i would take responsibility for my wrong doing! hope you fwwling the grip around your neck.
Except in Genesis, God said we can do whatever the hell we want with our livestock.
so i misspelled! like duing that!
the plural of sheep is sheep, and the term is sheared, since you don’t seem to have a sense of humour i thought you’ld apreciate that.
well smart ass! there are people who do not have a sense of humor. I is one! and because English is not my native language I do not poses the extensive vocabulary that you might. anyway thank you for teaching me this new exciting word. I’ll make sure that the sheep get a refund and apologies for having been shaved and not sheared.
You’re English is not so bad!
^This is too ironic to consider correcting.^
If you don’t have a sense of humor….you’re here whyyy?
Not the 1930′s fool, a thousand years ago. For that time and place, it’s excellent!
yes, peta… people eating tasty aminals… have been around since there were those tasty critters.
I see it this way. I like cows, I like hogs or chickens too. Especially between two pieces of bread with some bbq sauce. Then I love those little critters.
they captured the essence of my man bulge perfectly!
…and then enlarged it 100 times, right?
ah ah you pwn him xD
I think you typo’d. You meant to say 1000 times.
hairy god arm!!!! argh!!!!!
Looks like his beard has grown a limb.
Naw, it’s just the guy that lives in the beard. Once in a while he gets a little cheeky and reaches out to touch someone.
i knew it all the time!
chuck norris is god!
Not appropriate.
you’d still nail it right?
shut up hipocrit.
Please don’t use insults you can’t spell.
Is avatar actually you? Damn you’re ugly.
A little touchy on grammar criticism, axehole, do the nuns beat you in school?
That was weak too. Try harder buddy.
we can’t all satisfy your axehole, we’re not all hung like Jesus up there on the cross
I am kinda likin da word axehole, it stands out.
We can use it. Why not?
It was a simple question. Do they? Do you have some other reason you flipped out?
Oh wow.
I didn’t know you cared about me flipping out.
Jesus Christ, it’s just blogging.
That’s my point. It is just blogging. So why get yourself into such a huff?
Maybe he’s the Big Bad Wolf in disquise? He’ll huff, and he’ll puff, and he’ll blow Failblog down?
Please, Failblog wobbles but never falls down!
*considers*
*pushes Failblog*
*watches it sway and then settle back in place*
*feels woozy*
Ugh, I hate having motion sickness.
*hands around ginger pills*
Awesome for motion sickness- see Mythbusters.
Sowwy.
Wheeeeeee
eeeee! WheeeeeeAww, I KNEW that wouldn’t work, yet I did it anyways.
*Bukkits*
Group hugs.
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re a c*nt
Actually, I heard Jesus agreed with us.
And Satan has a pineapple ready.
I sense some Little Nicky
And, of course, ♫Beelzebub has a devil put aside♫
Awww, is sombody cranky? Do you need a hug?
Well, it IS Monday.
That was very weak.
Your response is becoming repetitive. With your brain in your mouth, it’s not advisable to chew.
Abysmally weak.
I can lend you a thesaurus if you like.
Naw, you’ll never get it back and if you do, you won’t know where it’s been.
True, I wouldn’t be happy if the pages are all stuck together at W.
like your sphinkter
You’re using the word weak quite often.
You want to talk about it?
It’s OK, you don’t need to lash out at strangers on the internet. You are a valuable human being. Just release your anger, and you’ll feel much better.
*hugs*
He probably has a girlfriend in some other country somewhere, why can’t he release his anger on her? Why should us internet people suffer when he has a perfectly good target over the phone?
His girlfriend must be rosey palmer… and she tires easily.
I do! I do!
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
*squeeEEEeeze*
*squeeeeeeeeeeeze!*
*Ska-weeeeze*
*squeezeandsmooch*
*squeeze of the most Mondayiest kind*
*sissqueeze!*
Ah man! Have I missed the squeezes?!
*panicsqueeze*
I never run out of squeezes!
*squeeze!*
Still plenty to go around.
*squeeze!*
WOOHOO!
*abundantsqueezes*
*squeezes the squeezers*
*Takes a squeeze*
*Gives multiple squeezes*
Who’s achieving multiple squeezes? Lucky bugger.
Um, I did last night…wait…you didn’t…nevermind.
Errrr, glossing over that……cake?
*giggles*
*squeezes everyone some more*
*squeeze to celebrate multiple and single squeezes*
*squeezesallFPsmultipletimes*
*squeezesagainjustforgoodmeasure*
*addssmoochesonacheek(s)*
*doesn’t say which cheek(s)*
Shall we all hold hands and pray for this axehole?
*snork*
Nah, everyone here is on the same side obviously. It’s quite pathetic.
The side of correct spelling? …the side of not insulting people you don’t know, until they do something to incite that?…the side of not jumping to conclusions? OK thanks for playing.
Wow, this touching. Everyone’s taking the same side. It’s like blogging with pre-programmed robots who all say the same thing.
what touching this? me want know.
Cept you’re the one who keeps saying ‘weak’. Here’s a few synonyms for you.
Feeble, wimpy, ineffectual, wishy-washy…
You mean like one who keeps saying “weak” over and over?
It is only Monday, we have a whole week ahead of us!
A whole “weak”
More like a weak axehole.
Actually. We’ve all parted with our own personal opinions. The fact that we all think you’re an idiot is pure coincidence.
it is? hahahahaaaa… okay.
You are quite easily touched.
Daddy issues, perhaps?
When all one has is a pre-programmed troll who says the same thing…
There were haters, but now they’re in my tummy. I eated dem.
*Burples*
Do you need a tissue? A good cry might help you feel better.
Or a wank. Either way, grab the kleenex.
* snork *
Oh yes, that’s it. Somebody with the name axehole flips out and it’s us against him. How unfair. Defiantly social problems. Couple that with the repeated use of weak and we have someone who feels impotent in life and is in need of anonymous lashing out to establish a sense of self worth.
It’s okay axehole, you are important and we care.
You forgot the tildes for that last sentence.
hehehe
*squeeze*
*Snicker squeeze*
Thank you, Dr. Marius. Can I schedule an appointment. I have issues I need to get off my chest.
*shoots question mark into appropriate spot*
No problem Ms B. I’m not cheap but I am easy.
*Squeeze*
Can we have a group session. Let’s see what’s on Ms B chest.
You mean you can’t see that? It’s right there!
*Looking closely*
This may take awhile.
*covers self*
*runs for cover*
You two scared off another one?
*Sighs*
Good help is so hard to find.
Hey, she asked!
*read that as tissues to get off your chest*
*giggles*
*snork!*
I wish that was the cause of the large bust.
You’re too simple. You just need to get slapped.
Doesn’t anyone here have a negative side, or has war and natural disaster made us all go gooey for each other?
Damn tree huggers.
I bet you like AVATAR’s political subtext too didn’t you?
Oh my gods! You work for the U.S. post office!
Your supervisor is under a lot of pressure with all of the cut backs. He doesn’t mean to be so hard on you, he just feels you don’t get along well with others. Try to be more social with your co-workers. Don’t be afraid to suck up and by coffee and donuts for everyone once in a while. If you look like you’re trying to fit in more he will feel more comfortable with you and stop bugging you over every little miss sort.
Maybe he just needs to get laid.
Sadly, this troll has a regular scent about him.
Many seem to watch before trolling.
*pinches nose*
HONK!
fer sure… the smell of weak-old pigsh&t.
Hey axeholes how are you today. Some of the group share the same brain and others have a great sense of humour(s) while other are punks who live in their moms basements. And others still have no friends on the outside world and try to rule this one,LOL.
And yet some are the greatest people you want to meet. These are the positive people who say nice things about all and make you feeeel welcome and don’t label people.
why don’t you go and f*ck that axehole you call a mouth
sorry what? I can’t hear you with your c*ck in your axehole
My, what an emotional axehole we have today!
I think we scared him away. He doesn’t seem to want to play anymore.
He’s too busy playing with himself. …
Trolls are very easily distracted. Probably ran out of beer and sold another of his daughters.
*Hails*
*Sleets*
Great. Now I have to trudge through the slush to get home.
*Flurries*
*Sprinkles*
*Showers*
*Pours*
*Patters*
*pitters*
*Smathers*
*Mists*
if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe thine seat!
Long may she rain!
Freedom of speech is an American construct and is applicable only in relation to government action to suppress same.
Sooooo… bend it backwards and see if you can reach your own warm “axehole.”
…but funny as hell. Which is where I live,
210-666-HELL
Call me babe ;P
kill it quick! get the biggest, heaviest book you can find and kill it!
I have a copy of the Bible, but I would rather use the yellow pages.
I have a three page pamphlet on art therapy. You can paper cut it to death or be a fan.
Just pop it with a pin. Their implants anyway.
*swaps out BG’s “their” with a “there”*
*facepalm*
*swaps “there” for a “they’re”*
*slinks away*
*Tickle, tickle*
BG? Do you want a shamWow for that?
After all the corrections made, I don’t know what I want
Egg in your beer?
Ummm, no?
Not beer… egg is best followed by a good canadian whiskey.
Someone failed either art school or human anatomy. Or both.
So, it doesn’t go there?
*Erases notes*
*Looks blank*
two fingers of fun
Poppin’ a cap in a fish a$$.
*winces*
that dude’s like “you’ll never get me!”
but he’s secretly asking for it and riding side saddle to top it all off
Can you ride side saddle on a carpet? wow!
If you’re a lady, yes.
There has been debate on that subject, but I do have the lady bits yes!
You mean the power of manipulation, and unpredictable tears?
Then yes, you most certainly are.
….and the boobies, much boobies.
Woah, hang on, hang on, hang on, all we’ve established is that you’re female.
How did you qualify for Lady status so easily? I’ve been trying for years. I just get laughed at and told to sit on the floor.
The Judge gave me permission?…..
Is that who you have to blow to get Lady status?
You have to register yourself as a fan, yes.
*takes notes*
*copies Gracie’s notes*
*sticks tongue out side of mouth*
*squints*
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
*takes a few steps back*
*frames with thumb and forefinger*
S’nicey!
*hums along*
*Listens*
…Jurassic Park?
Indiana Jones.
The Imperial March?
Depends how thick the carpet is, I guess.
*Has always been a fan of shag carpet.*
*Prefers un-carpeted floors. Or at least ones with designs.*
DId you know that British shag carpets are 4 times thicker than their Japanese counterparts?
Why does Jesus have a six pack in the first place?
you try satisfying 12 disciples
Six pack? It’s a four pack!
He must have failed to get 50% free at the store!
It is correct modulo 2.
Nuh-uh try mod9 (see I can Number Theory too).
You try wandering deserts for 40 days and see how much fat you store.
….Depends on your species!
Shouldn’t this be on “Worst Tattoos”?
To those who will take this FAIL the wrong way…..
FAIL TO THE ARTIST…not the religion.
Grow the f%$k up people.
If I’m not mistaken, that’s Orthodox Christian art.
Who said any differently? Why don’t you respond to them? You are trying to whip up self-important outrage over something that isn’t here…
Nothing to see here folks just a little man with a persecution complex who needs to be touched more…Move along.
More touching? This is serious :[
*Pokes axeholes repeatedly*
You poke axeholes, you pay. :[
Hmm. Fun as it is, that’s just not worth my money.
*Pokes axeholes one last time, then flees*
Wait a minute, qwaz… you’ll need a bucket of moist wet towels to wash your hands after doing all that axehole pokin’ !!
What are these “f%$k up people” and which farm grows them??
Noted.
Still doesn’t look like a man’s abdomen, but we can all chalk that to artist stylization.
No, It’s photorealistic, Jesus was hung. Why do you think he had so many followers? look at the bible on page 576 “and thou said unto Jesus, ‘HOLY LORD YOU ARE HUGE….LORD!’” then Dumbledore dies in the next chapter…
*insert “second comming” joke here*
That was totally irreverent, Jaysen.
*squeeeze* thanks, its just one of those kind of days for me.
*giantMondaysqueeze*
Thats nasty
)
Jesus is packin’!
Nah, he’s just happy to Mary Magdalene.
I see what I did there.
Me too, werry clever, who Moses what is next!
Sea?
C?
Si?
Something like that, anyway.
May I note the absence of nipples? Perhaps the mighty amount of testosterone sucked those back into his body? Just a theory…
I like that theory, and raise you an accident with a gopher!
They’re hidden under his pecs.
No bellybutton either, which would be appropriate for Adam & Eve but is less appropriate for Jesus.
He’s pointing out that Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
Someone paid good bread to put Luca into that position.
Six pack? That looks nowt like a beer belly. PAH!
I love how that other guy is staring at him…
Holy Macarow!
Holy Macarena!
I don’t get this fail.
The hand in front? But I don’t see the overall painting? Then?
Look *harder* and *longer* – the first thing that pops up may just be IT.
Towel knot?
*Fanfare plays* On this episode of Strange Savior, we enter the scene just as Jesus is attacked by a Feathered Foe.
Jesus: Oh, Christ! Where’d you come from? *Dodges attacking Bird-Man arm*
.
Demon Bird-Man: It’s too late for you, Jesus! I have come to rip off your head and make dinner of you. No amount of disciples can save you now! Bwahaha- *ACHOO! ACHOO!*
.
Jesus: Bless you! Bless you!
.
Demon Bird-Man: NOOO! *Poofs away in ball of fl@me*
.
Tune in next time, when our Strange Savior gets himself into quite a pickle with the Romans!
.
Jesus: Oh, I’ve gotten myself nailed to the cross on this one!
*Rimshot* *Fanfare plays*
Rimshot!?
What kind of show IS this?
The kind that goes *Buh dum PSHH!*
instantrimshot.com
Perfect!
*Pats Scott on head… the one that talks… oh, I give up*
I don’t think anybody would enjoy a rim shot from somebody that well endowed.
Except Mr Slave of South Park may be.
*sends Qwaz’s story to Pixar*
*waits ten years*
*sees advert on TV*
“…starring John Travolta as the Demon Bird-Man and Sylvester Stallone as Jesus…”
Great line-up, now we just need to create a role where Denzel fits into all this…
Back in my Blockbuster days, we used to call him Daddy Denzel. *sigh* I could watch him any day.
He has a shirtless moment in Book of Eli…
Jesus is ready to love you.
He ain’t the messiah, he’s a very horny boy. Now piss off!
Well, if we’re not welcome.
*Romani eunt domum.*
jesus is really horny
Maybe it’s not an attempt at a six-pack at all. Maybe he’s just trying to hide his boner by tucking it in his waistband!
you don’t say!!!!
I am the only one who thinks the knot in the waistband looks suspicious also?
No you’re not.
Worst liposuction ever.
Ab implants made with his leftover fat.
OMG its Chuck Norris!
Damn, I always heard he was well hung but I thought they were talking about the crucifixion.
EPIC FAIL
Mine eyes have seen the glory. Up next: the Coming of the Lord.
is that a monkey who scratch jesus head?
This is a standard icon, in the Byzantine style, of the Theophany (or Epiphany) showing St. John the Baptist baptizing Jesus Christ in the River Jordan. Christ’s fingers are displayed so that they are blessing the river. The cloths for Christ and the man representing the river (bottom left) don’t look any different from knotting a t-shirt.
I don’t see the big deal. To me, this is a failed fail.
His abs look like a giant dong.
Now do you see the fail?
Ah, the christians: So delusional that they can’t even see what everyone else on the internet can.
Now look sheepish and say: “Jesus is an imaginary friend.”
christianity is so amusing
Magda, I hereby dub you a sense of humor fail.
well, they where right when they said Jesus is Great…
What was seen… can not be unseen…
Catholic anatomy classes back then sucked.
It´s time to say: OMFG! o.0
wow.
Jesus was truly “blessed!”
Old guy on the left is like :O
I suppose well burn in hell for submitting this?
Considered in it’s own time and place, it’s actually excellent, and no fail at all.
WIN!!!
“wow. isnt it ridicoulous how we have to attack the promise of God and the hope of Christianity because someone can’t draw?”
Christianity is easy to kick around. We Christians don’t blow you and ourselves up when we get offend. Let see Fail Blog put up a pic of Mohammed. I dare ya.
There aren’t many pictures of Mohammed because Muslims tend to take the whole “graven images” thing seriously. Therefore, there aren’t many FUNNY pictures of Mohammed. If you manage to find one where it looks like he has a giant wang, though, I’m sure most of us here will have a good laugh and no one will be blown up over it.
He should go on German TV.
Oh, wait. In the next phail, he does.
JESUS THATS HUGE!
Jesus definitely has a situation going on here.
Who needs a 6 pack when you’re packing a 40?
testing
Can’t ya’ll see JC’s point!? “Thou shalt not even try to compare thy frank and beans to mine! Tremble in awe!”
I frankly wouldn’t want those beans near my cornucopia.
*painful looking*
it’s super effective
|the kid|
I’ve totally seen this! It’s in the church at al-Maghtas, the baptism site of Jesus, in Jordan. I couldn’t help but crack up when I saw it, even though we were inside a church.
And that’s why they call him the Lord.
i really really really want to know who painted this.
That’s one huge muscle of love right there.
AAAH, SO MANY COMMENTS!! It’s overwhelming!
This has probably been posted but:
Jesus’ left kneecap and thigh look like a fingernail and a fingertip.
Looks like a giant boner to me.
voted “bad”. you will all burn in hell for blasphemy
This is highly offensive for any Eastern Orthodox Christian. The image is part of an icon – a sacred image of the Baptism of Christ and an object of worship.
It’s NOT a joke and not to be made the object of jokes and mockery.
Please consider removing it.
Thank you.
When surfing the internets, all ideas are up for ridicule. Religion is not and should not be an exception. Your right to belief is respected, not necessarily your beliefs. Or, as I like to say, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”
On a lighter note: dat pikture haz teh creepies.
Iuliana got arrowsed by big …stomach muscles.
It’s not a case of bad drawing nor is it a case of a dirty-minded viewer. It’s done deliberately. Medieval artists were fascinated with depicting Christ as a real flesh-and-blood person, so there’s all sorts of imagery like this in early Christian art. The artist wants you to know that Jesus was a real human, not just a god.
Not a fail!
Umm, I think we’re all forgetting that this piece of art was created hundreds of years ago. We’re all seeing it through a filter of modern culture.
A horse is a horse.
anyone else notice the finger-knee?
I used to love this website, but now it’s gone too far. Not just by posting this but the comments that were made on it. As an Orthodox Christian I find all of this extremely offensive.
I am extremely disappointed with failblog, what used to be light hearted humor, has now attacked not just Christianity, but religion in general, and that is just way too far.
Especially with this icon depicting the Epiphany which JUST happened.
So inappropriate.
Are you sure this isn’t a depiction of the resErection?
Wow again, an extremely inappropriate comment. Could you at least try to be mature?
Hey, you set it up and I knocked it down. I see you trollin’, I hatin’.
ugh . . . his SOOOO Ugly ! better keep him in jail.
Yeah it’s about humor,but man,that’s a sacred painting from most probably an Orthodox Church. Couldn’t you just put anything but this?
I don’ think that is meant to be a 6 pack 0.o
Big J is sporting some serious mangina there.
In early Iconography a large erection was a symbol of the ressurection.
its a resuerection
OW.
God: SON, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK AT THOSE PLAYANGEL MAGAZINES?!?!?! Go to your Pearly Gates NOW! You don’t get to come back for another millennium! >C
Jesus: I WISH I WERE ADOPTED!!! *slams Pearly Gates*
Jesus is hung like a horse win
Jesus ma men, dat be a hell of a divine powa
My god! I didn’t know Jesus had such a big…….. sixpack! x)
I didn’t read every comment here; I think this is proof that Jesus invented the Boner-tuck-into-the-waistband-move.
“hey, can’t touch this”
he IS THE lord. hahaha, its also THE MAN.
I can not believe!
People say ignorance is a bliss.
Try out researching a bit and u will find out that this kind of representing Jesus Christ comes from the old Byzantine Empire (variations depend on a region) a long time ago before U.S.A. even existed, or any other form of Christian art even existed. U.S.A. should be ashamed of a Truckers Church and many “other forms” of churches, nevertheless Europeans try to search thru ur history. I’m no Christian but i respect culture.
Hurray for tumor-jesus