Fireman Fail
At least this fellow is trying
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♪ And it burns, burns, burns… ♪
Real men don’t look at explosions
always wear a condom
…Or you end up with big mistakes^
Apparently real men don’t care about periods…
Real men do not want to have periods. Or an aunt named flo.
True but they should make sure the periods come regularly, to anything they put their pensile to.
Real men must LOVE babies then!
*fixed*
Fire men must LOVE babies then
Thanks all the same, but I was pretty happy with it the way I wrote it.
Avis! Ms. Child send you any good recipes?
A whole book full of them, but I haven’t really had the mind-set to cook lately. But coming up soon is a dinner party at a friends house where we all bring part of the meal, I’ll whip something up for that.
Okay, lets examine this for a sec. Is a period really needed in a one sentence blurb on a message board? I think not. Any common fool can tell where it starts and where it ends. Some people really need to get a life.
And by leaving them out you prove that you are nothing but a common fool.
just to show some of your hypocrisy, sentences should not start with the word ‘and’
*THWACK*
Deal with it.
Oct 21, 2008 Michelle Strozykowski
Using conjuncts to begin sentences is common amongst respected authors and professional writers. It is also a laudable on-line writing convention.
In the not so distant past, an English assignment daring to begin a sentence with a conjunction would have been returned with red ink splattered all over it. But, as Bob Dylan sang, the times they are a-changin’. Or rather, the rules of grammar are reverting to a mode first made fashionable as long ago as the 18th century.
Starting a Sentence With And
In the 1700s it was perfectly acceptable to start sentences with a conjunction. And it is becoming increasingly prevalent again now. But why use a conjunction to start a sentence? There are many advantages:
* It maintains an easy, conversational style.
* It preserves a link between sentences, whilst still delivering in a short, punchy vein. (Great for on-line writing).
* It reduces the need for long, wordy compound sentences.
It is not grammatically incorrect to start a sentence with ‘or’, ‘and’ or ‘but’, and never has been, although it used to be discouraged. Now, thanks to the advent of email, and the proliferation of blogs and other on-line resources, public acceptance is much more forthcoming.
_____________________________________________
There you go patman21. And that’s the way it is.
Much obliged.
Why do you hyphenate online as ‘on-line’?
You stand corrected – I saw many periods up there, and possibly a question mark thrown in the mix. So… does that make you the common fool in this argument?
Show some respect. To yourself and to those you wish to communicate with. Otherwise, don’t bother.
Heehee…I saw this today:
ht tp://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/internet-cant-ignoere-grammar/
Reality in comics! The first thing my mother does when she reads my blog is tell me what words I misspelled or misused.
*RIGL*
There is medication for that.
How is this a fail? It’s obviously a routine drill.
Thank you Adam for being the first person to actually write something about the photo and not argue over grammar. I agree it is obviously a drill.
“We don’t need no water, let the mother-****er burn…”
♪ Burning down the house, oh yeah… ♪♪
It’s a training video… see them all over the place to highlight the rookies who’ve gone thru the volunteer firefighter course. No one was injured during the taking of the photograph…
♪♪got a nikon camera, love to take photographs, oh mama don’t take my kodachrome away oh yeah. …♪
Are they fire-retardant?
Or maybe fire-retarded?
Woo, hot firemen!
*makes with the confetti throwin’*
All the ladies are finally getting the firemen they’ve wanted around here.
Yeah, there’s just something about a man and his hose…
His long and POWERFUL hose!!
It’s not really that big.
Are you kidding? It circles around one guy and you see it peeking around the crouched form of another a whole three people away!! That’s friggin’ HUGE!!
Oh, I hope LCB makes it here some time today!
*Squeeze*
Please check your email Dragon.
And check it again to see if you got my email this time…
Didja?
ridoo?
Didja send the one I apparently missed the first time? ‘Cuz if you did, it didn’t show up again. But I think I got all your other messages.
Somebody call?
Oooh! Firemen! I’ll take that one, and that one, and that… you know what? I’ll take all of them.
No, don’t wrap them. I’ll, um, enjoy them here.
Marshaling your forces, I see.
Long as she’s not forcing the Marshall. That could lead to trouble.
A couple of those look like they could be women. I prefer men so you can have everyone except the lean guy left end back row.
The women are for my men friends. What, you never keep your friends’ favorite drinks and stuff on hand for them to enjoy when they come over?
Okay, Cuddle Puddle’s open! Buttacow, would you kindly escort the most qualified firemen to the puddle?
I think the bar should make flaming drinks today to lure them i…erm, I mean to make them feel more at home.
*Leads the hotties to the cuddle puddle by their…erm, hoses…*
We’re here!!!!
*puts on shiny new hose*
Wheeeeee
Well, hello-o-o-o-o-o, boys! Relax, have some drinks. No, not those, here, try some Dragon-grog. It’s harmless, I swear…
Oh dear, we’re gonna have some passed out firemen around here shortly.
Yeah…
Those poor, poor fireman…
They’ll never be the same after this…
Remind me to never become a fireman.
Come on, Jon. We’re not that bad. I promise, it won’t hurt at all. They might even like it!
*hides whips and chains*
Yeah! Uh, *cough*, it won’t hurt at all!
They say that after working in a fast food joint, you can never eat there again ’cause of the things you see.
Well, if this is what goes on “behind the scenes” in firefighting, I’ll give it a miss.
So you don’t want to spend an afternoon being “held prisoner” by a bunch of women who have nothing but fun on their minds?
Awww…come on, Jon!
*sing-songy voice*
You don’t know what you’re missing!!!
It depends on your definition of ‘fun’ is.
*dives into firemen infested puddle*
*aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah*
That’s nice.
*dives into Cuddle Puddle*
*squeezes all the failpeeps*
Sorry folks, I can’t tend bar today, I’m heading out to run errands in a few minutes, followed by a B-day celebration.
*squeeze!*
Woohoo! I didn’t miss the cuddle puddle! And it has firemen in it! Bonus!
*dives into cuddle puddle*
*squeezes failpeeps*
*extra squeezes for Scott’s birthday*
*snuggles with a fireman*
Happy B-day Scott!! Me too ya know. Aren’t we Aquarians terrific?
*cuddle puddle skaweezies*
Aaaahhhh…just what the doctor ordered. Cuddles, firemen, and cake!
Hey…nothing wrong with starting the birthday celebrations a little early!
*squeezies*
No strapping firebabes?
*birthday squeezes all around*
*puts on firehat*
Better?
Very close. Flex for me a bit. *grin*
No no no…REAL firebabes don’t flex. They *FOOOOM!!!*
*evil grin*
You’re coiled tight today.
A man and his hose? Is this anything like a lumberjack who wears suspenders and a bra?
Ah, he’s ok.
I sleep all night and sleep all day.
I go to the lavatory.
I wish i was a girlie, just like my dear papa!
*click, click*
*happy dance*
*happy dance*
*safety*
*happy dance*
♫♪We don’t need to water, let the mother f@cker burn!!♪♫
What the fack is going on here!?
Most likely its either training house, or possibly they could of been a 3rd fire station on the scene which does little if anything and thought it a great pic oppurtunity
. Likely its the first, being only 2 hoses are being used to put the fire out.
My husband was a firefighter, and it looks like a training burn to me. Oftentimes, when someone bought a house that was a knockdown, they would donate it to the FD for training–and get a tax benefit as well!
*takes a deep breath*
*counts to ten*
AAAAUUUUURRRRRRRRG!
Deskpillow. Deskpillow. Calm blue ocean. Deep breaths.
*shows concern face*
Did I miss something there Avis?
Lubba you little Birdie.
♥
Keep reading the comments. You’ll see why I’m practicing my primal scream.
I see. I really do see now.
But ya know, I’m starting to think that this may have been a training excersize. Is that possible?
*uses feathery wings to fly away quickly before the explosion*
Sorry Avis. I really do adore you. Swear.
Oh, don’t worry, I’ll get you back. Someday. When you least expect it. Maybe it’ll be an earworm. Maybe it’ll be a mental !mage that you just can’t shake. But I’ll get you back. Trust me.
She’s got some nasty mental !mages!
It really is a training photo. We do this once a year in the rural town I am from. The owner donates a house that is to be torn down and we burn it instead. We use it to train new firemen. It is amazing how many times we will douse the blaze only to light it up again. In the end we do like in the pic and let a “controlled burn” take the structure away.
*throws back shot*
I would like to knock you down if you know what i mean sexy mom of three.
*Tips hat*
♪ Burn, baby, burn! ♪
… is this the disco inferno?
Nope, this is The Highly Flammable Dance Club. Disco Inferno is next on your left.
but, but, but… there’s no turning left on red.
\m/ 0.0 \m/
♫♪Breakin’ the Law, Breakin’ the Law♪♫
♫ I fought the law, and the law won ♫
You should find the owner, Dante. He’s a really nice guy.
I hear it’s hell to mess with him though.
But he’s usually level headed.
He make devilishly cutting remarks.
Not to mention his Legion of jokes.
The club would be great Minos the trolls.
We’ll be fine if we styx together.
a cool bunch
Training house. Still cute though.
Exactly my thoughts.
O.O oooohh telepathy!
Its probably a house they are training on. A fire they started them self.
Well, we didn’t start the fire.
No we didn’t light it.
But we’ll use it as a backdrop for our group photo.
But we’reAnd they aren’t trying to fight it.Never light a match in a room full of gas…
Strike three?
This sounds like you’re referring to a past experience…
Wouldn’t you like to know???
Why yes, I would.
See that house in the picture?
I did that…
Oh. Bad luck for you
Not really. She did it so she could get melty and slippery with the sexy firemenz.
Well, I don’t know about you personally but “melty and slippery” in combination with open flame and human skin is usually a bad thing. Just, you know, as a general rule.
It’s only natural.
But only if someone pulls your finger.
Gotta get rid of the pint somehow.
♪♫ We didn’t put out the fire!
It was always burnin’
Since the world’s been turnin’. ♪♫
Someone is quite the Prodigy …
it would have been a bit more of a fai if someone was in the house
ummm… no.
Then it would not have been funny.
I heard the entire Twilight cast were in there.
Oh the horror!
*hands Earlybath some tildes*
You do need these, right? RIGHT??!?
~Not at all, I was being completely serious~
Wait which one is the whore, again?
How many firemen do I get if I am?
the should have the guy who’s posing on the back row, top left put it out….he’s prob the one who’s like “hey, what fire? its just a smoldering blanket and what smells like a little gas, lets take a picture since we’re all here” WOOSH!
a s’mores opportunity
♪ We don’t need no water let the motherforker burn! ♪
♪There, has, got, to, be, a, way. Burning down the house.♫
♫Or is this burning an eternal fl@me?♫
♪Remember, after the fire, after all the rain
I will be the fl@me
I will be the fl@me♫
Are we forgetting something?
hotdogs? marshmallows? what?
dammit, the sticks.. I always forget the sticks.. Anybody got a hanger?
Yes, we get that it is a training house. I promise, it’s still funny. You don’t need to keep pointing it out.
*Points at training house*
What’s that for?
Is the house in training to be charcoal briquettes?
Oh, but they will anyway. You may as well brace yourself for the onslaught.
Where’s the bartender?!?
Um, Garçon! We need drinkies over here! And lots of ‘em.
O, for crying out…
*stumbles behind bar*
*pours assorted drinkies*
*takes large gulp*
Oh-no!!! Why didn’t choo wearn mees dat dish ish Dragon gorg?
*hic*
*thud*
(mumbles)comferble floor
SEE!??!?!?!?
I ushed choo. Der wuzza timez I cudda sssheed it dough.
*giggle*
*snork!*
*makes sure to get it all on video*
Poor house!
*snork*
*contented sigh*
I love you people.
*squeeze!*
*distracts Dragon with shiny*
*tickle, poke Ms B*
*fleeswithaquickness*
So I was on TFNL ( Textsfromlastnight.com) and I saw that the posts had replies to them, just like fails..
I expected them to be witty and hilarious, because after all, Failblog replies often are, right?
No such luck. I cried myself to sleep that night and came back to the land of the puns and the home of the bukkit. Thanks, witty FB replying people, for being consistently witty.
The banks find a new way to get people out of foreclosed homes..
front row starnerdq: where is R2D2?
“Hang on guys, just let me get a picture really fast, then you can get back to work”
Not a fail, it’s probably a donated house that the purpose is to burn it to the ground and practice firefighting techniques on it. I’ve seen several of these pics b/c my family are firefighters and this is one time that they are all together and have a chance to take a picture with a background of what their job is about.
Watching the practice burns is lots of fun b/c you know that it’s not a house or building someone cares about.
*headdesk*
*tosses back shot*
Oh No! Turn this sort of post into a drinking game and none of us will ever be sober again.
Seriously, all that apple juice would put me down.
And out. Literally. Apple juice must have some fiber or a natural laxative or Something in it..
I would appreciate it if you did not try to destroy the desk with your head.
And if you feel you must…light it on fire first!
no, no, no… put some glue on the desk before the headbanging commences… more of a reaction that way. And much laughter!
But what kind of glue? Because I don’t thing school glue would have quite the same effect as, say, gorilla glue or rubber cement…
Argh!!
*bukkit*
*switches ‘g’ with a ‘k’*
gorilla glue is good stuff! so is epoxy.
never use mighty mend it, that crap is useless.
So are Zorbees, Mighty Putty, Oxy Clean, and pretty much everything else that man sold.
The only things that man sold were LIES! aka “Cake”
Still using that DeskPillow™ I got you?
If I didn’t I’d have a permanent bruise on my forehead!
That pillow has come in very handy!!
Glad to be of help!
That guy on the far left really shouldn’t be a firefighter
Hey! They fixed the title of the previous fail!!!
Finally! I was starting to get a little twitchy.
When I first saw it, I wondered if it was part of the joke. And then I realized, it wasn’t.
Happy Grammar Points to last fail!!
What does the guy front-left do? Does he extinguish fires with farts from hell?
You know those are fl@mmable, right?
Oh god, don’t tell me fl@mmable is on the restricted words list.
No, but l@me is, and given the !mage / !mag!ne / !mag!nation debacle, I figured I’d just play it safe.
testing….1…..2…..3….. flammable …….
Good, it’s a safe word!
Um…Judy! Should you really be admitting to your “safe words” in such a public forum??
IT’S A PLANNED BURNING PEOPLE!
~REALLY? WE HAD NO IDEA!~
~Boy, you really straightened us out! Thanks for clarifying!~
Aw, ghee! Do you think Smiles will read this?
I was trying to find a way to get the word “ghee” in there, for your clarification.
And anyway, I asked for the firemen to be called last night when the space-time continuum broke.
For those of you who feel obligated to point out that this is a training fire, the fail is that the firemen still have their shirts on.
Heehee…I knew I liked you, eeky little mouse.
*squeeze*
Even if Smiles does, the meaning of the comments will bypass him/her…
No its snot!!!
It’s an unobservant commenter, people!
*gives indian burn*
I planned that. Doesn’t mean it hurts less does it?
doh,
Posted under wrong reply.
“Indian burn” comment?
Surely you jest!
How many times to I have to ask you not to call me Shirley?!!
They planned on burning people?! That’s sick.
thats the house of the guy which pranked them always with false fire alarm
nah,,, dats a bbq and they using a fireman cosplay
Thats just a dummy house for training
You hurt the house’s feelings by calling it a dummy. Shame on you.
Toasty!
Now I am inexplicably hungry for a Quizno’s sandwich. Funny that.
remember those lil Quizno guys? good times
I remember the old Quizno’s commercials that were actually funny. The ones where the *other* sandwich shop was doing a taste comparison, but there was some sort of trap to keep people from taking the Quizno’s sub.
I used to like Quizno’s. Then they got really expensive…
*shudders*
Soooooooo Huuuuuuuungry Now!!
Ebil Jaysen.
“hippy run place” – - are you sure doughnut dough is the only thing they put in their bread? Hmmm?
haha they do have “special brownies” that they are known for.
This is what happens when you get an overzealous PR man.
Did any of the above posters stop to think that maybe this was an intentional, test, training burn?
[scampers away]
Ouch!
You dropped these tildes where they could be stepped on.
~~
its obviously a controlled burn. They wouldn’t take a group picture in front of one that wasn’t.
That’s it!
*GLOWERS*
*throws back another shot*
Wudja wanna shing wiffs me Beezies?
Ish nishe here onda floorz huh?
It’s a live burn… people/cities donate houses to be burned down instead of simply demolished. It gives the local fire fighters practice to make sure they keep their skills fresh and so they can work out any communication or training issues they might have…
I’m going to go lie down now.
I’z finkin’ dasha good idea.
*rolls off to celebrate 36*
See ya’ll next week.
*SKA-WEEEEEEEEEEZEES*
*SQUEEZE*
Happy Birthday again!!
Happy burfday triple B.
Congratulations on surviving another trip around the sun!
*rummages around underground*
*causes the ground to swell up where he’s tunneling*
*safety*
*the rummaging stops after a while, leaving a message in the ground*
HAPPY B-DAY B³
Come on around the other side and admire their hoses next.
But, um… You are contributing to alcohol poisoning.
An old classic fail
FIRONY!!!!
Academy or Training Picture. House was just training and at end of day they burn it to the ground. usually have bbq and just watch the mother burn…. remember, all firefighters are PYRO’s. otherwise they would be afraid to go to work.
They’re burning the house down on purpose, part of their job.
Fail submission?
Filed under a false category. This is sooo frakin win.
That’s a controlled burn. I can tell by the flames.
“You has fire!”
“Doip? Hur hurr!”
Smores anyone?
Failblog fail.
Its obviously a training site, either they already did what they were going to do or it isnt at the stage they wanted it yet. The picture would be of the training class.
They routinely have burns at certain places and sometimes use condemned places for the training. How do you think firemen learn their job?
Failblog fail, indeed.
This was a controlled burn. From time to time, municipalities or private citizens will donate properties that have become too expensive to repair. Fire departments then prep the site – bringing in the full crew, and stationing additional trucks to make sure the fire doesn’t spread beyond the intended structure – and then set the building ablaze. Once the fire reaches a certain point, they bring it under control. When I was working for a newspaper, I shot several of these; always a fun event.
*headdesk*
Does anybody even bother to read the comments before tossing in their two cents?
*headdesk*
Does anybody even bother to read the comments before tossing in their two cents?
Guys! Guys! I just figured it out! They burned this house on purpose! It was a controlled burn.
Z0mg Failblog fail.
*the heavens open up, celestial music plays and the truth is revealed*
These guys have to be kidding, what did they run out of water?
Photographer: OK men, say ‘fire’!
(After the flash, the firemen take their hoses and start extinguishing the fire behind them.)
Oh ho. A flash fire is it.
*flashes the camera*
*distributes on internet, makes fortune.*
A fortune in Monopoly™ money maybe.
It’ll just be a flash in the pan though.
irony win!! lol
Pretty stupid picture. What is happening here, is that its a simulator fire. Simply for training. My dad being a firefighter has done many of these and I have gotten to watch. They take a picture of the trainees before sending them in the flames, and then one after.
Whether its a controlled burn or not, the idea that the fatass on the left is going to save anyone’s life in the event of an emergency is a pretty fail ideal. The only emergency he is going to help with is a uncontrollable overflow of fried chicken at the neigborhood buffet.
I hope someday a “fat ass” fireman like that has to save your life, you call him a fatass, and he leaves you to burn.
the burning house could be a meth preparation lab.in this case they did the right thing.
let me explain; meth labs are dangerous because during the preparation of the drug, very volatile & flammable chemicals are used.in such environment -no control, people with little or no idea of what they are doing, etc- wildfires are very usual.the intensity is such, that the lab is completely destroyed within minutes.
if the fire department discovers such a lab, they are ordered to let it burn out. either way, why save something that it will be destroyed later, they just save some evidence for criminal charges later on.
Firefights
And
Law
Enforcement
Don’t
Burn
Down
Meth
Labs
On
Purpose.
They
Explode
For
The
Very
Same
Reasons
You
Stated
They
Were
Dangerous
(And
That’s
A
Really
Really
DANGEROUS
Thing).
Stop getting your “facts” from Law & Order or your methhead neighbor. Jesus, even Wikipedia knows better than this.
this is obviously a donated houseburning drill. people give houses for live fire training we practice then burn them down. pretty nice tax write off too jack asses
Haha nice, even though it’s just a donated fire drill.
Firefighter bottomleft looks like he drank all water ment for the house.
I hate to ruin the party, but I’m guessing that this was a live burn drill where the house was deliberately being burnt. My FD has pictures like this, too.
Hey guys.. you smell sumthin’?
It’s a controlled burn, firemen do it all the time on condemned buildings for training purposes. FAIL FAIL.
Oh, for crying out loud.
This is (typically) the final test for firefighters – to physically put out a burning fire. They use abadonded or donated houses in which residents no longer reside, most of which are not in a livable condition, and they move the physical structure to an open area and keep a large (like, say, 1 mile) radius around the fire clear from other structures, people, and animals.
It is quite common for group photographs of the “graduating” class to be taken, and what cooler shot than in front of a (safely) burning house? They were obviously doing it, at least partially, to kill time, because the house is not fully engulfed yet — as evidenced in the photograph — and they cannot begin the test until it is.
In language you would better understand: this ain’t fail, yo, it’s good timing and creative use of your surroundings.
it’s a training fire n00b
OMG YOU GUYS ARE HEROES! Mind if I take a picture of you guys first?
OMG…
DDD
It’s an exercise. No fail here
I’d imagine this would appear funny to people who don’t know about training houses. Yes, firefighters set up fake houses and set them ablaze for the purpose of training.
If you ask me, they look like a sorry bunch, especially that fat chunk on the far left, he probably runs into the house and saves the food first. This has to be a volunteer group, a real fire department would never allow men who are as out of shape as most of these guys to join up, they could not pass the physical.
As they always say…firemen are hot