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gz… NOOOOOT
The sad thing is people will still reply to this, just to get their posts and names read by everyone who opens the comments. I can’t believe you guys would do that!
I know, it’s like so freakin
la… uh … not cool.Pedoccio !! I found you !
Penoccio XDD
Lots of snackies for you, tho, ZA!!
I’m sorry could you repeat that?
…or they could comment on how your comment made no sense and would only provoke those people o.o
Good for you?
Pedo toy !
They smiling because everyone puts stuff on their knob, i think.
Oh, I thought it was fail because they put the hooks on their crotch. There is NOTHING mentioned about the shape of it resembling a pingas.
I’m beginning to doubt failblog’s integrity, if they failed to notice that, or at least note it.
Who designs such things? HELLO?
The same people who made the CD 2-3 fails down.
There, Clickie for said fail.
“Music Store Fail”
Just to speed things up for those of you who decide to read every comment on a fail before they look at the next.
chinese people…
the same people who write things like” this toenail clipper will happy your joy time in frolicking for beautify treatment”
Yes, who designed this. No, you don’t get it, hello just walked in the room. Who designed it. No, that’s NOT a question. Who designed it and What sold it.
who would buy one? I might for a gag gift
No, you are obviously not paying attention. WHO designed it. Who wouldn’t buy it because he designed it.
Third base
And I don’t know is the distributer.
Mind showing me the path to first? Or should I just head on into the outfield?
“Please knock”
Not on that im not.
What would the rope be for?? :S
fondling?
That just made the fail worse!
*goes off to look at cute pictures of puppies*
dude is too cheap to purchase a c0ckring?
i think its a ‘doornocker’. why oh why does God allow this to happen…and don’t tell me its ‘free willy’
It’s free willy.
Sorry dude, it’s good old free will. Sometimes I want to smack God upside the head for giving us that one because we humans make stupid choices.
But then again, as I always say “Stupid people, God’s way of saying evolution is bunk!”
I don’t understand why you’re donning an asbestos suit.
*panics*
*dives 18 feet underground*
the reason for stupid people is the fact that the smart ones have evolved and the stupid ones still believe fairy tales from 2000 years ago.
So…. how’s that fairy tale?
was this done on purpose? or did someone just majorly fail?
It’s on purpose – it’s a joke door knocker, not a fail…..thus another failed FAIL
It’s a joke toy sold at naughty gadget shops, not a fail toy for children.
By the way the words on the upper middle of the pic are greek. They say “New Price”.
I like how they aren’t wearing pants either, not even an attempt to make it look like a mistake lol
wow…..
wow, a swastika avatar
Wow, a randomly generated generic icon. That’s all they are, really.
I always failed those ink blot tests too. I just couldn’t figure out how to study for them, they all looked like splattered braaaaaaiiiinnnzzzz to me.
Check out those knockers.
~Those knockers really ring my bell.~
Knock on wood.
♫♪ I don’t want to lose,
This good thing,
That I got.
But if I did,
I would surely,
Surely lose a lot.♪♫
I love that song.
Uh… yeah! That’s where I was going with that!!
All I seem to be thinking is:
♪♫ Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me!
Twice on the pipes, if the answer is nooo! ♫♪
I don’t think you’ll see these knockers on heavens door though.
*wap* *wap* *wap* means you’ll meet me in the hallway?
it’s the pedobear hook
Pedoccio
Bumble bee tuna!
Are you refrencing Ace Ventura?
If so.. you rock.
I sho was! Glad someone got it
His balls are showing
If that pleases you..
It sure pleases me…
knocked up?
Really?! This is our bonus fail? Pleh.
maybe you be more excited with a life size version? I think i could make you one if you wanted
Well, considering the safety standards in some canning/bottling facilities, it’s possible I suppose.
Never going to be able to look at another jar of applesauce the same are you?
Sorry, ’bout that.
thanks to that comment, i’ll never look at any jar the same… i thank you for ruining my life.
*sniff*
*retreats to corner of room*
*goes into fetal position*
*rocks back and forth while sucking thumb*
There, there, i have no idea what to put here, so i put this. Here, I bought you these jars of marmalade, jam, and honey to cheer you up.
*runsawaywithanevilgrinquickness*
Don’t worry “no idea”, you can see through jars. You only have to worry about canned goods.
*nods helpfully*
*cringes in fear of the jars*
*secretly curses bondfan for forming an alliance with the evil jars*
Here, try this can of chocolate sauce instead.
*hands “no idea” a can*
sigh…much better.
Did you read 3B’s comment?
I love that little birdie.
*ticklesqueezeAvis*
*does the can-can, while holding a “YES WE CAN!” poster, and carrying bucket of canola oil*
*sprints*
im so sorry 3b, but i like to stick as closely to one thread as i can. im really sorry if i hurt your feelings.
*offers bundle of roses with “im sorry” on a card*
Her comment is part of the same thread. But I’m sure she’ll love the roses!
but branches the thread does, young one
*ahem*
Young one?
From you, new person?
I can see his *THWACKING* has done him little good…
have you never heard of yoda? he never said old one
*went to the very first Star Wars movie in the theatre when it came out the first time.
~Yoda who?~
It doesn’t really matter if you’re a withered, green fictional Star Wars character voiced by Frank Oz, you called Avis “young one”.
*palms head*
the short green dude
~I see you understand sarcasm perfectly young one~
first the jars and now this! do you hate me or something?cause if you do…i just gotta say…that hurts…
I love the roses.
We don’t hate you. It’s possible that you don’t know that the “~” in a statement denotes sacrasm.
Also, Avis, after age 25, when is being called “young one” been a bad thing? Ever?
A word to the wise, when you see tildes (one of these “~”) here at FailBlog it denotes sarcasm. We’ve been pretty clear about this even though it is a relatively recent development.
…thanks for informing me…i guess…
~And so appreciative of what we tell you!~
Good lord, peeps, give the guy a break. He’s been a good sport and you can’t expect people to get everything all at once.
*gives “no idea” a cookie*
OMG! A COOKIE!
*accepts cookie from dragonwriter*
tanks or deh ookie
Proper English, or no more cookies for you!
Oh…*SNORK*…stoopit me. Next time, no talking with your mouth full.
*a familiar thumping can be heard from below*
*RIGLMAO!*
*needs an extra few minutes to regain self*
*thanks Avis*
*safety*
*thinks of monster trucks to prevent self from remembering “it’s possible” comment*
*fails – thump thump thump*
*quickly thinks of eating troll brains*
*regains composure*
Should IHNIWTPH,SIPT (no idea) survive this, s/he should have sufficiently thick skin to survive anything.
I’ve always wondered about that. What is the threshold for having “sufficiently thick skin to survive anything.” Is it a quarter inch? Half? Or maybe a full inch thick?
I can convert into centimeters, for you European folk.
*adds a little curvey-curve above the period, so that it looks like a question mark*
I have no idea might know.
I’m baaaaAaack!
thank god. i really thought you were gonna kill me there avis…again
A good thwacking with the whale has actually helped others here…
…would you happen to…uh…have that whale with you?
Along with other assorted aquatic life, yes. I do have the whale with me. Why?
do i want to know what it means?
…nevermind. just aslong as you dont *THWACK* me with it.
Do you have a dislike of capital letters?
no. i have an equal like for lower case and upper case letters…why?
Well, you don’t seem to use them where applicable very often.
it saves time.
And brings heaps of abuse upon your head.
Dammit man…PROVE to me that you deserved that cookie, or I’ll have to retract my defense! I’m rooting for you!
Fine. I will prove that I deserve the cookie. Are you happy now?
No. Your name, too.
Are you satisfied Shadow? Because I am about ready to slap someone.
No. Now you have to… I’m kidding! I’m kidding!
*scrutinizes posts carefully*
All right…you may keep the cookie. Your efforts are much appreciated.
WHOOO! COOKIE!
*Eats what is left of the cookie*
It at least better than the last Fail.
*Knocks on wood*
I think I accidenty a word there.
I think it’s Celebrate 12-year-old Humour Day.
Weeeeeeeee!
:[
Last two fails were stinky!
After a look at the vote page, the next few days don’t look so promising either.
~Yay!~
Well, this is juvenile to say the least, but…at least it’s one I’m willing to post on.
(Heehee…I said “post”.)
Glad to see you’re sticking to the program Dragon.
There’s only so much I’ll put up with, Marius.
I didn’t see you de-cloak there, Dragon…my apologies for not refreshing.
Should we hang our heads in shame for commenting here, Marius?
Hey! My comment was a pun too…! Are you suspending me because it was too oblique?
You’ve got me pegged all wrong…I was suggesting that Marius and I have certain equipment that you do not own.
I wood say that’s a sure bet.
I’ll get the hang of this refreshing business by hook or by crook.
Now I want a c0cktail.
*sigh*
There’s a catch here somewhere. I just can’t pin it down.
that sounds painful…
Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.
omg it’s greek
“νεα τιμη” = new price O.o
The ancient Greeks have returned and gone into the knocker business.
who said they were ever gone ? ^^
I thought the word ‘ancient’ implied it, but that was a misgiving apparently. =)
The world could do with some logic. Can I have side-orders of art and epic poetry with that? Hold the little-boy-love please.
So-crates!! Excellent Dude!!
You are dealing with the oddity of time travel with the greatest of ease. Most excellent!
And here I was worried about those Turkish prisons. *sigh*
So, it wasn’t selling well?
its a coat-whanger.
…or a scrote-hanger
Probably a souvenir from Sandy Balls.
Then shouldn’t there be two per plaque?
Two balls per…like tooth plaque?
Is this the new grilled cheese?
Uh… I hope not!
♪ I’ve got no strings
So I have fun
I’m not tied up to anyone
They’ve got strings
But you can see
There are no strings on me ♪
*Tries to kick stupid comment down where it belongs*
How did I miss the reply button by this much?
You were distracted?
I say it’s Arthur’s fault.
*hangs coat on horns*
That’s distracting.
*squeeze*
*squeeeeeeeze!*
*Horns in*
*Squeezes the lot of ya*
I would appear I have refreshing hang-ups.
*Tees off*
It seems I have a trick up my sleeve.
*SQUEEZES*
What could he possibly do next??
*ruminants*
*makes a sheep appear in front of Arthur*
For those that can’t stomach this, cud you please look away now.
Ah ha!
*Squeeze*
Careful, my reading glasses are in the pocket of my coat.
That was short sighted of you AA.
Yeah, he should have seen that squeeze coming.
Well, we can say that now, but of course hindsight is 20/20. So cut him some slack.
*feels proud to be the good guy*
You summoned me!
*squeeze*
Did you just hear a crunching noise?
Why wood eye be distracted?
Well, your attention was obviously turned in a different derection.
I think he has a lathey eye…and possibly a lithp.
Too much milling about. I’d better turn down some jobs.
The worst part is making them happy again when you need to put your jacket somewhere.
hang a hat on it…
Pinocchio really has gone downhill after Hollywood.
Well, it all started when he went to make a film in San Fernando Valley…
Yeah, you see that writing? It’s greek. this photo was from Greece, And being a sick-minded greek like myself, I wouldn’t be surprised if those were intentional… F*cking greeks… P.S. that writing means “new price” in greek.
You are a little late with your information. Next time you might try reading the comments.
Okay. I’m away for a couple days and the blog gets taken over by trolls. Where are all the FPs? Did a regular quit again?
Nah, the Fails have just been somewhat offensive.
Ahhhh, okay. Good to know.
Another bonus fail when it was least expected huh, Avis?
We were all praying for this one.
Not this specific one, mind you, but something to follow that last one!
Oy, I just looked. I hate it when they post the mentally-ill fails! They really do bring on the trolls, and we regulars can’t post…
Sort of glad that I can’t see the last one since it seems to have engendered disgust and anger in the regular FP’s.
I had missed it. It wasn’t worth going back for.
It’s moved back in time, and is no longer the previous fail. Strange goings on here at FailBlog.
And not very funny.
Now when you say trolls, do you mean those things with the coat hangers in the picture?
Or do you mean people like *insert person who hasn’t signed up like me*
Don’t have to sign-up — just get an avatar if you’re likely to be hanging around here a lot. It helps distinguish trolls from regulars:
ht tp://en.gravatar.com/
Dagnabit, BFF! I’ve been having trouble posting here since the recent storms started raging through the States… I think the weather dislikes our servers.
*Sends nothing but blue skies from now on*
You don’t have to sign up, I never have. You just need an avatar instead of the generic randomly assigned icon. That and you have to post regularly and not be an asshat. It’s not a difficult thing to achieve.
Really, you can have an abstract square as long as you treat others nicely and aren’t an asshat.
I love that word, “asshat”. I just love it.
I love it that it’s not censored.
You should have been around the day we all started using that word. We were all treated to a link to some fur nipple warmers. And there were a lot of other words or terms that were bandied about as well.
For example: cervix mitten.
Hey! I’m very fond of my nipple warmer link, then-kew-veddy-much! :p
I also like using the word “assclown.”
I’m personally fond of “asshair” for special offenders.
I tried to post a couple of German swear words to prove how cool it is to be able to insult in another language on Failblog.
The comment was moderated…
Merde!
They’re on to you!
*panics*
Scheiße!
Ok, maybe not.
Whew!
I am too Dragon, I think that was one of the funnier threads we had going here, in the earlier days!
somedudewhosawyourstuff, please click on my name, and decide for yourself. If you’re innocent, congrats! If you’re not…
S’nicey clickie, BFF.
Why, thank you! Though, your point of having avatars distinguishes…well, there’s “sam”, who had an anime avatar, and a certain number of birds…
I still think that was him on the “public decency fail”.
What exactly did he say again? I forget.
Not what he said, the individual in the video!
Oh. Ah. OH!!!. I see.
*evil grin*
To be sure — it’s not a guarantee against someone being a troll. But, I do think that we’ve pretty much stamped-out the mean ones, don’t you? If someone gets out of line on here, they hear about it…
Not to mention a certain person in a hat…
Nope, we haven’t lost anyone, it’s just that there’s just been an inexplicable surge in annoying, verbal- diarrhoea infected little buggers.
Yesterday was a school holiday in most of the US — but I’m not sure how to explain today’s invaders.
Eek.. wouldn’t it be painful if someone hung a heavy leather jacket on that “knob?” Wouldn’t want it to fall off… *Cringes*
It’s a door knocker. Hence the “Please knock” and the rope to pull the knocker. I also believe, as others have said, is it’s designed that way on purpose. Like those coffee mugs that are shaped like a woman’s breast and say “Little sipper” on it – and you can drink through the cup’s ceramic nipple.
I wonder what caught their attention.
Their happy to see you.
Grammar isn’t my strong point.. They’RE happy to see you. ugh I suck.
Me know betre.
Gives “Knock on Wood” a whole new meaning…
Knock knock?
Peg, is that you?
Home at last.
they have to have someone making sure something like this doesn’t happen, right?
I’m pretty sure they did it on purpose.
Then it’s not a fail. Ask any troll about that!
And therefore not funny, if I remember correctly!
*cries*
*patpatpatSQUEEEEZE*
Ab-so-lut-ly not! :[
Absolut Trollka: The taste of ignorance.
But, … but I thought ignorance was bliss!??!?
I guess it depends on the circumstances. For example, when I stay in a cheap motel room I could think about what might have happened on that motel bed and spend the night sleeping on the floor, or not think about it and sleep on the (slightly more) comfy bed. Ignorance is bliss. But things change when you want to walk across the freeway at 2AM. Ignorance is no longer bliss.
Full bodied with a hint of photoshopped pixels.
They seem to be very well-hung.
Why didn’t you post that comment instead of “first”?
Then how would you identify the firster-type troll?
If there were to not be firster-type trolls anymore, what need would we have of identifying them?
Identifying who?
your mom
I don’t think that was a mistake. Note they have no pants! *-*
I bet the previous fail will easily reach 500+ comments soon.
(BTW – God vs. Evolution currently has 2,742 comments!)
The previous fail is looking to compete with the “great debate” I guess.
I hope the folks who find it inappropriate are more numerous than the folks laughing at it.
So far it seems so. The only thing slightly funny in that video was the guy next to her. I almost heard him think “Why me? Why ALWAYS me?”
That thought has crossed my mind on a plane a time or two.
lol lol lol
btw check my blog a half man that is able to walk again! =O!
Mommy always told me to not clickie on strangers. Sowwy.
Well then for once in you’re life do nit listen to you’re mommy LAL
Um… what?
Avis=Fail?
Hardly.
<3 Avis
*whacks the gibberish translator*
“Well then for once in your are life do lousy listen to you are mother ruby.”
Hmmmm. Hold on just a minute…
*grabs a wrench and makes a few adjustments*
“It’s gibberish,” she replied scornfully.
Kalten frowned. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of them,” he whispered. “What part of the world do the Gibbers come from?”
She stared at him, her face baffled.
“Did I say it wrong?” he asked. “Are they called the Gibberese? or maybe the Gibberenians? The people who speak Gibberish, I mean.”
My eyes still hurt from reading that comment. I didn’t know it was possible for a man to make that many mistakes in one post.
Maybe you need glasses?
*headdesk*
*x5*
The irony is, I actually do have glasses, but they’re to correct my sight so I can see proper, coherent english, not some gibberish that would have made Dr. Samuel Johnson spin in his grave.
Dr. Samuel Jackson?
*smacks the gibberish translator*
OK — who has been messing with this thing??!
Heehee! I should have scrolled down! :p
Having nothing to do with this fail …
I know “odyssey” is spelled correctly. However, whenever I look at it (usually when proofreading), I always think there should be another “d” in the word.
The people who came up with spellings for modern English were very silly.
“The people who came up with spellings for modern English…”
You mean, the ancient Greeks?
We’ve adapted words from a bunch of languages. It’s silly that we didn’t put an extra “d” into “odyssey.”
You’re right. We should have known better.
At first they found it odd that there were so many d’s available, but soon realized if they weren’t more careful they would run out of them.
Conservation of D. It’s not really a law, just a goodde iddea.
‘Tis an odd ode indeed.
An oddity even
Hee hee — our very own Mouse found (and squeezed) me on another blog site.
Mouse of “Eeeek! A mouse!” fame??
Cool!
*squeeze*
Have you been following the whole thing on that site, Mouse?
I really really wanted to post “… and that’s more than half!” when the questionable math was being cited, but I didn’t think anyone would get the joke.
Yes, I’ve been obsessively following every day.
Been barely keeping up with the frantic posts, mostly not looking at the comments, but I saw your avatar on the sidebar and had to say hi.
Ok, I’ll try this again… POOF! The previous fail completely disappears!
*sighs*
No such luck. But it did appear to move back in time.
I noticed that. At first I wondered why the video fail came so early today, but then started reading the comments on this one and eventually figured out what happened.
I went back and read some of the comments, you know just out of morbid curiosity. But the BM attacked and gobbled my comment up. Rather than fight him, I figured he could use a good snack and maybe wouldn’t gobble up the comment of someone else.
Holy crap!
(from Weather.com)
The National Weather Service in Portland has issued a high wind watch… which is in effect from Wednesday evening through Thursday afternoon.
* Timing… Another strong low will move north just off the Oregon coast Wednesday night and Thursday…
*Winds/Gusts… Gusts up to 70 MPH are possible along the beaches and headlands of the Central Oregon coast… with gusts of 60 to 65 MPH possible along the beaches and headlands of the northern coast…
*Impact… Primary impacts will be local power outages.
Seventy miles per hour?! Guess I’d better make sure I got my blackout kit ready.
Eeep!
*nails Shadow’s shoes to the ground, being careful not to nick his toes*
Last time we had winds that strong down here (so cal – this was a few years ago), the owner of the building where I work bought me a paint job for the roof of the truck and the entire shell. Why? Sections of the roofing material (it’s the kind that’s basically gravel held in sheets of tar) blew off the building and across the top of my truck. It was like someone took 40 grit sandpaper on a large belt sander and ran it across the thing. Repeatedly.
I had parked the thing next to the building to escape the possibility of tree branches falling into the truck. With winds like that, branches that have held for years get crazy ideas about taking vacations away from the family and sometimes cause damage in their quest. Of course this didn’t happen this day, it was the roof that decided to try flying.
Moral of this story: it doesn’t matter what you do, you’re screwed in hell. Kinda relieves the pressure now, doesn’t it.
~Totally. Now we have to nail the roof down, too. Thanks for the heads-up, man! I appreciate it.~
Y’know what? I think maybe I’ll just cover the entire house in duct tape. That should work.
We had a day like that here in Chicago once. On the lake. The yacht club was listing to the side pretty far. It was actually quite scary. But I don’t think the wind speeds got that fast.
Our bedroom carpet is SODDEN — like making puddles & horrible squishing noises when you walk on it. The room smells like the lovely fragrance of a wet towel left crumpled in an airtight hamper for a couple of days.
The biggest storm in the series of three is supposed to come through tomorrow & Thursday, so everything will get worse before it gets better. We’re not sure where the water is entering (my thought is that the slider was installed incorrectly by the builders when the house was built in 2001), so we’re not even sure who to call to see about getting the leak stopped.
I’ve caulked & caulked & caulked — but apparently to no avail.
*makes note: likes to caulk*
Well — it is kind of fun in an odd sort of way … but I’ve really been caulking because I have no idea what else to do. Every few years we have a series of storms like this & wind up with a sodden mildew-smelling carpet. Then the carpet dries (after a couple of weeks) & the smell goes away.
I’m sure we have mold somewhere — not sure how we couldn’t by this point … and I have a feeling that has contributed to my allergies & headaches.
G’night folks! I’m off to enjoy a home cooked meal of caesar salad with cajun chicken breast strips. I may be back later tonight, If so, see you then!
The one on the left posed in Cosmo… think his name is Scott Brown. Yeah, him. The guy who gets to sit in Ted Kennedy’s senate seat.
The Big Fat Greek Toy Fail (the Greek phrase reads ‘Nea Timi’)
NOT SURE if anyone notices but look on their hats ‘please knock’ …. DOES THAT MEAN THE DONG IS A KNOCKER!? O_O What kinda motion..Does THAT make?!
Gotta love the Greeks! Aide Bre Pedi-Mou! BRRRRRT!
Getting good at your greek i see!!! Geia sou pedi mou!!!
that is intentional
WHY is that thing even there?!?!?!
My kid got sent one of those door knockers from his Aunt who lives in Italy. The string is pulled and a woodpecker, which happens to be perched on another pecker, makes to knocking sound with its beak on the chest of the figure!!!
Neat!… in a slightly creepy way.
if u lie it gets bigger
That has to be fake. It is way to obvious.
The funniest thing gotta be that ”nea timé” means ”new glory” ._.
in modern greek it means new price
Photoshopped. Shadows are slightly wrong (compare to nose) and the string makes no sense.
“Νέα Τιμή” means “New Price” and not “New Glory” as Licking Dude stated.
It’s supposed to be a product for sale with a reduced price.
Ten zlotys says this was intentional.
it wasnt(rolls eyes)
I would SO buy that and put it on my door to see who uses it!!
FINALLY some greek fail on failblog… failers prepare, we greeks are about to take over the fail-world!!!!!
HAHAHAHA
*evil laughter
I don’t get how this (or any similar “fail”) is a “fail”. Americans are pretty knee jerk about “private parts”. Much more so than other cultures. The fact that another culture can find humor in natural body parts is not so much a fail on their part, but a fail on our part for being so f@@king prude.
actually you’re right
I couldn’t help but notice the little words that read “Please nock” On its forhead… No thanks I’ll use the doorbell…
More like please knock one out…
this is greek
im greek :O
picoccio