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Boat Launch Fail
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They dropped the ball.
They dropped the boat.
Don’t drop the soap!
*Makes a note*
*Drops it in the moat*
*Takes it out of moat*
*Feeds it to a goat*
*goat dies, falls into moat*
*goat begins to float*
*pulls goat into boat*
*floats along the moat*
*throws this string in my tote*
*goat begins to bloat*
*covers bloated goat with a coat*
Now he’s gonna gloat.
A gloating bloated goat in a moat, because he dies from eating a note about not dropping the soap, gets my vote.
*realizes Goats are better off eating oats*
C-c-c-c-c-ombo breaker!
^ buckling the trend(and you can on that me q-q-q-quote)
Why is it a combo breaker?
because it ended with an “s”?
No, because Feegs needs a good *THWACK*ing.
a goat wearing a coat in a boat on a moat has an oat in his throat. was smote with a garote. began to bloat. or did i misquote what was earlier typewrote.
Boatman is a dope; competition’s gonna gloat.
Maybe they should have used less Baconlube™ on the hull.
Whats Baconlube™ 0_O?
Ubiquitous.
What’s ubiquitous mean? I see that word everywhere now.
It means “for the win”.
How can i shoten that in a messege?
shorten
I don’t think it gets much shorter than “that”. You really need the three consonents and one vowel. You could go for ‘dat’ I guess, but it really sounds lower class.
WTF are we trying to shorten again?
3 cnsnts + 1 vwl, py attn
Y?
hehe, ‘dat’ is actually the dutch translation for ‘that’.
“it” is shorter than “that.”
Well, how do you normally shot mess?
With vigour and satisfied glee?
verily!
Momma's little baby loves (bread) shoten (/bread).It means it’s everywhere, kinda like dictionaries.
Swish!
And I bet the boat owner gets screwed somehow in this deal with his insurance.
they didn’t even give failboat a chance to do it by it’s captain.
The captain is out to lunch and the sailors have taken over the ship.
Ah, the stuff of legend.its not a fail, this is a glassbottom boat. duh
*nicks the extraneous apostrophe*
What? It was just sitting there for no apparent reason!
I was wondwering “where is the failboat sailing?”
Will wondwere's never cease?All the way to the bottom.
Only Styx knows for shore.
♪where in the world is Failboat Sandiego♪
what…are you talkin about???
I came here to watch and think,
I repeatedly tried the broken link….
I tried it once, then twice then bailed,
The crappy link is the one that’s failed
A crane and a boat, this will end well.
I like your positive thinking little bird.
*wishes for sarcasm font*
:p
*TackleSqueezeTickle*
Not very sarcastic.
*wields a shellacked minnow menacingly*
You were doing what now?
Um…nothing.
How about just *squeeze*
*grins*
*squeeze*
*TackleSqueezeTicklefromBehind*
*fleeswithaquickness*
I’ll get you yet!
Leave the googies alone!!!
*shields GS*
*peek*
*poke*
*flee*
LMAO @ ‘googies’
*squeezesLeilamyprotector*
Am I the ONLY person who saw ‘googies’? I’m still *snorking* over it!
Is that a movie?
Ya know, if we switched the second ‘g’ with an ‘n’, it would be the name of another well-quoted movie.
*gives ED a noogie*
*runsawaywithaquickness*
It’s been said so much, we should just come up with a symbol or something.
YES!!! Has to be an easy character though.
~sarcastic remark~
I don’t think we use the ~ character much. What do you think?
Hmmmm… that could work.
Lesse:
Avis
January 12, 2010 at 10:02 am
~A crane and a boat, this will end well.~
Or :
A crane and a boat, ~this will end well~.
Ooooooh. Well, you know English just isn’t my forté.
Actually Leila I was thinking exactly that. We don’t use it. So what do the other Failpeeps think?
~
Will indicate sarcasm when text is too vague.
~I think it’s a great idea!~
:[
That doesn’t look like me sticking my tongue out at you!
Can i stick my tounge in you though? 0_o?
Um….
ZOMG!!!
Alright, who ordered the grilled cheese?
~That sounds like a great idea!~
*beats with Anti Moderation Bat until it turns red*
No thank you.
:p
that’s the best I can do.
hehe =P
That was not a response to you.
oh 0_o
Anyway, Avis
mine was an accident. I used a capital p and got
instead of :p
I love it BG!!!
*sign, sign, pass*
I’ll add my names to that.
Yeah!!!!
Sailing, Sailing…
# I am sailing
I am sailing
Home again
‘Cross the sea #
Failing, Failing…
♪
They said come fail away, come fail away,
Come fail away with me lads.
♪
♪♫ We can fail, we can fail… with the orinoco flow
We can fail, we can fail…
Fail away, fail away, fail away. ♪♫
♪♫ Faaaaaailings….nothing more than faaaaailings…. ♪♫
♪♫ Like a failing in the ocean, life is motion, move on… ♪♫
♪♫ I dropped a boat mother f*cker don’t you ever forget! ♪♫
A gathering of angels appeared above my head,
They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said,
They said come fail away, come fail away, come fail away with me lads
All aboard the failboat!
Send in the fail boat!
We should have a requirement to have at least one boat-related fail every week.
Let’s float that idea by the PTB.
I hope it will pass.
I believe you are asking for a paddling.
Just stroke the PTB ego a bit.
Oar not…
Now now…let’s not have a row about it.
And don’t be a porthole.
I guess it was bound to happen schooner or later.
And no scull duggery.Yawl are too funny.
Some people pun in vane.
That’s crazy tjalk.
I was gondola feed the dogs…they were hungry. Did I miss anything?
We’ll just sweep that comment under the rug.
*ships thread abroad*
What a shame indeed.
Mahna Mahna!
♪ Doo, doooo, do, do, doooo ♪
Agreed, that one was painful to watch.
Ever seen one of those cranes in real life? They’re kind of creepy.
Agreed. They’re much bigger than you’d think they are as well.
And by the way, I think I’ll agree a little more, if you find that agreeable. Do you agree?
Ummm…. sure.
What’s really creepy is to be in a boat yard with a HUGE boat (think at least three “bedrooms”) in a mobile crane/sling.
I always half expect something like this fail to happen when I see them moving boats that large. The marina near me stacks them in lifts, some 3 high, for the winter. I think the owners must be nuts to let them do it.
Considering what it costs to keep a boat in dry dock, and then at a slip during the boating season, PLUS the cost of gas for just a short jaunt, yes, I’d say the owners are nuts. They’re a wee bit crazy just to OWN the dratted things!
Where I am, I actually saw a private “boat” that had one of those smaller yachts (3 bedrooms like you said), on it. Like when a yacht has it’s own row boat. This was a yacht for a yacht. Freaked me out!
We’ve got a few of those around here too. A couple of them have helicopters too!
Some people have waaaaay too much money. I wish they’d share it with me.
I wish they would adopt me.
If you can afford $10+ million for a boat like that… then you can afford fuel & docking fees.
I doubt that boat cost $10 million dollars. And just to go for a half hour spin on a boat roughly the size of the one in the fail, it costs upwards of $200 in fuel alone. Docking fees are relatively low, $1,000 a month, sometimes a bit higher, depending on the size of the slip you want.
Just because you can afford something, doesn’t mean you should buy it.
*decides not to buy surplus aircraft carrier after all*
I agree that your agreeableness is very agreeable…wouldn’t you agree??
I agreed to disagree.
I find that an agreeable agreement.
You agree with her agreement to disagree to the agreeableness of his agree?
*C-c-c-cuncurs*
Cranes are supposed to be good luck.
*starts making 1000 origami cranes*
Now you start on the boats!
*start making origami boats*
*hopes she doesn’t get a paper cut*
*helps NS*
Are we making kittehmarans?
That’s a great idea!
I hope they’re all pea green too.
In that case, we might need to find someone to play the part of the Owl.
*Feels this might take a year and a day*
*Donates Bong*
I’ll help you with the cranes since 2 peeps are working on the boats.
~I used to be a boat dropper~ er, run a dock crane in AK. Actually I dropped a few 55 gal drums once. One was full of AV gas too. Yikes. Why did they do this at low tide????
With a second look at the video, it looks to be high slack tide. The current in the river is not running fast. But still a hell of a drop.
Look good to me
Well, in order to look good for you I need to know your requirements.
Screw it! I look good for myself!
Looking good Ms B!!!
*click*
*click*
*click*
*pose*
*pose*
*pose*
WORK IT!!!!!!!
Good! Now give me sassy. Yes!
*click*
*click*
*click*
Shoot, just got moderated again!
My comment:
Do peac0ck without the @ss feathers!
Be a spider monkey!
right.
And only right, Ms B is not an ambi-turner.
Will she show us Magnum? I heard it’s beautiful!
Hey, PTB, it’s a bird. Your program is too sensitive.
*flips the bird*
Who’s borked, me or FB?
*eyes BG suspiciously*
You just need the one eye for me.
MRN – it’s FB that’s borked. *sigh*
1.
You.2.
Fail Blog.3.
Safety.4. Me.
My post! My post! It was apposed to nest up there ^^^^ with MRN’s!
We’re sorry for the inconvenience, but the blog is currently being torn apart by the Bogmonster. Please wait until the nests are reassembled Thank you.
Will check when I get home then.
To the subway!!!
♪ Hey little sister what have you done? ♪
I dumped a boat and had some fun!
you are bjork?
*flips*
Hey!
*goes to Avis’ aid*
Are you okay???
*glares at MRN*
Oh, fine, feathers make for a soft landing!
Nest me!
Oh no!
Is that an order?
Tell me about it. I’m being moderated on one of these: f.l.a.m.e. or s.o.u.r.c.e.d.
It’s f-l-a-m-e that’s the problem — more specifically the last four letters.
How [moderated].
Notice this also make is taboo to discuss anything involving the use of Valerie Wilson’s maiden name.
Well, can you b[moderated] them?
It’s fl@me. We can’t use the word l@me anymore.
Oh, fine, just leave my post floating and looking crazy. *pout*
I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
*glug*
*glug*
*glug*
*throws Leila a lifesaver*
Cherry or lemon?
Wintergreen. They spark when you bite them in the dark!
But do they spark underwater?
terrorist!Oh wait ... I thought you said "underwear".*wands everyone in the room*
*doesn’t say where she wanded*
SILENCE – I KILL YOU!
Ombie…how do i changey icon?
Stick your tongue in it
*snork*
Or even better, simply press the keys Ctrl and W in combination. That oughta work.
That is an Apple OS command.
Alt + F4 is the correct buttons for Windows OS.
Everything you need to know is here:
ht tp://failpeeps.wordpress.com/faqquity-faq-dont-talk-back/
Also please take a look at the Troll Identification page and take special note of how we tend to frown upon pun-run breakers, thread hijackers, and people who interrupt conversations. Theng-kew!
Woops sry
And do not offend failpeeps please.
*adds an “OR ELSE” to the end of Leila’s post*
*adds “IN BED” to the end of Leila’s post.
*snickers*
*adds an “OR IN THE BATHROOM” to the end of Leila’s post*
*giggles*
*giggles @ GBF, Jules & Gracie*
You guys are so bad!!
Tape a new icon over yours on your monitor…and never move the screen again.
*snork!*
Motts! Nice to see you!
*squeeze*
Where in the hell is your avatar?!?
I’m glad to see you back, too! Feel free to suit up and join the fray.
Self<— Fray
Have stupid training for next couple days
Then a polygraph test after that then a interview then…..i think i should quit job for more FB time 
Just tell ‘em how great the job will look on your resume.
Yes and thank you!!!
lol
Titanic had a sister…
My bologna has a first name…
Don’t keep me in suspense!
WHAT’S A SECRET????
*whisperwhisperwhisper*
And then the guy says………….
*whisperwhisperwhisper*
But don’t tell ‘kay? That’s a secret.
Well, you asked!!
~You’re welcome.~
Ha ha nice try Leila, but I still haven’t forgotten what happened last time I told you my secret!
You will come around just like DW did. I finally got me a happy pill from her.
*is scared*
Still?!?
I guess my online personal has that affect on people.
*offers ossacip a huge lollipop*
LOOOOLLIIIIPOP!!!!
*ahem*
fankoo madam
*is no longer scared*
It’s the younger brother of the Poseidon!
Oh Hades!Juno what you’re talking about?
*munches a Mars bar*
Now I’ve got a Ceres case of the munchies.
There are some noms in that Vestabule over there.
Who decided to nix the launch?
Odin know.
Looks like one hel of a problem.
Thy strands Artemis!
The Three Stooges should never had gone into working on a shipyard.
It was Dumb and Dumber.
The owners of that marina owe someone a lot of money!
Former owners by now, I’ll guess.
Nah, the marina makes lots of money and can afford to replace that persons boat. But they are out the cost of a brand new boat. And probably had to offer the boat owner free docking as well.
…and probably had to agree to let someone else lower the next boat for that person.
Only if the boat owners learned from this!
Yes, they do.
*weilds baseball bat*
*is lowered in via crane*
*switches the “e” and “i”*
*is successfully raised out again via crane*
Sankoooo cute kitty!!! Watch out for that … boat.
*awards 'shaydie a Wilde Oscar*Shhhh! The bologna’s first name is a secret!
That’s a silly name for bologna.
What would a not silly name be?
Serious Meat.
*poke*
*tickle*
Special Meat?
Dilly!
Why so serious :[
Silly Meat?
No, don’t like that one.
On second thought, let’s not eat that. Tis a silly meat.
Why it comes from the Ministry of Silly Meats of course!
(bread) >:[ (/bread)
*plans rendezvous with dilly for a seriousraunchlaunch meating*bah ... delete the deletes, let's justmatemeet!!You’re very direct aren’t you?
[Bread] Baby I’m-a knead you. [/Bread]
I'm all about a no dilly-dallying dilly dalliance.Oy! Is that my bat?
*eyes Leila suspiciously*
Is it sparkly??
You know it was gonna happen schooner or later.
Dinghy!
Yacht’a be ashamed of yourself!
Sorry! I just canoe help it.
No ship!
I knew I was going to ketch hell for this.
Perhaps just a stern warning?
Watch your language, or I’ll throw you in the brig.
So you don’t like the cutter my jib?
Your barq is worse than your wight.
*barges into thread*
Hey guys! What are we talking about?
Felucca I know. This threads gondola dogs.
Buoy I am tired!
That’s the ferry question I was going to ask.
*Has a jolly time reading all the crafty comments*
I’m trireme really hard to keep up with all these puns.
Well, don’t burst a blood vessel, for heaven’s sake.
We don’t want to wherry about you.
And if you mast, try not to make it Boom! too loudly.
With a raft of examples, how could you possibly not get the pun??
Heh…I thought you were going to punt him out.
You’re rigging this, aren’t you?
You STILL don’t get it.
*scows at Jon*
Sweet tender mercy! Read the liner notes Jon;!
That’s a hull lot of comments. Don’t you think you all went a little overboard?
Buoy, there’s no need to all start cannoning off at me!
Get your ship (of the line) together. You need to be more specific.
This thread is beginning to look like junk.
*tugs on lapel*
I don’t know either.
Shape up, or ship out.
That was the most disgusting water I have ever seen
Why? It looks like a giant vat of coffee!
Welcome back FAILBoat!
We all missed thee, failboat!
Ahh, long time no seen!
yikes, that was quite painful to watch, i cannot imagine how much that boat was (well into 6 figures)
Whaddafu!??!? hd used the “I” word and got away with it? Whaddafu, I say again!?!?
That one usually gets through, it just takes time.
Preferential treatment?
Would that be first aid?
Hee! Hee! Hee!
Crane operator, take a bow.
*stern look*
I’d be careful of that if Judy is around!
You could end up getting that E.T. finger right in the aft.
I had a sinking feeling that might be the case.
After a case of Port, I doubt you’d even notice it.
*sneaks up behind crane operator*
HELLOOO, MR. CRANE OPERATOR!!!
This I gotta see!!
*sits and waits*
*makes popcorn and lays out deckchairs*
*sips drink*
*giggles*
He jumped clear up to the top of the riggings!
Oh, I just LOVE it when that happens!
*squeeze*
*places a whoopy cushion on DW’s chair while she isn’t looking*
TeeHeeHeeHeeeeeee!!!!!
a karate kidding crane click --ht tp://4.bp.blogspot.com/_m45Zn3DNb58/S0SeAVhQ2EI/AAAAAAAAAPc/j1RbR2Iwh8Q/s1600-h/underwater.jpg
Arr, he’ll protect ye booty!
If this is not a FAIL, then nothing is…
lol at the end the man says: “I can’t belive this”
And once more, my birthday gift sink in the deep ocean…
♪♫Under the sea…♪♫
♪♫ Darling it’s better
Down where it’s wetter ♪♫
Disney said that ??
Actually it was Sebastian….
… but yes.
Disney had crabs??
I like to pinch.Disney wasn’t the pure and clean fellow that he’s made out to be. Did you know that he was a convict and not allowed to own the property that Disneyland sits on? It’s true. I read it somewhere and ~I always believe what I read!~
*loving the sarcasmability*
BBB, if that’s the case, I would avoid buying The National Enquirer, The Onion, and The Sun.
and The Daily Mail, anything endorsed by Channel 4, The Guardian, The Daily Mirror, The News of the World, anything from the fiction sections of a library, The Daily Mail, The Telegraph, The Daily Mail and 100 Facts about Pandas by David O’Doherty
The only reliable source of information is Great Lies to tell Small Kidsby Andy Riley.
This reveals such secrets as. . .
-If you put a piece of ham in a dvd player, it plays a small film about pigs.
-Tomatoes aren’t actually a fruit, they’re a type of dolphin.
-Milk feels pain
I was watching Fantasia the other day and their animation was pretty risqué. Half naked fairies and centaurs all over the place!
… Ahhhh the good days
*remembers good days*
♪ These are the good old days ♪
*stays right here*
Isn’t that film a rip-off of Terminator?
“I’ll be Bach”
Worst camera man ever.
Oh, I don’t know, I would be trying to avoid the falling boat too, if I were there.
I would have been leaning hard against the screen door to capture it.
Erm, window. *fails*
Note to self: don't let moshbox design the submarine.What? I’d provide everyone on board a can of Leak Ender 2000™
Don’t they at least have Leak Ender XP™ out by now?
Underwater Vista™* is scared *
*hands ossacipi a stuffed teddy*
*turns on nightlight*
*eyes become droopy*
*fallsasleepwithaquickness*
BrokenWindows: 7™?
Windows Visstoff.
Not after it was open (flame) sourced.
Sooo, a screen bottom to see sea life is bad?
*erases design*.
I’m with your BG. I want plenty of fresh air and sea-nery.
*fails again*
*takes extra ‘u’ from post above and throws it boomerang style*
Either I am confused or U R still wrong.
Bah! I’m too distracted while making arrangements before I leave for Vegas tomorrow.
*sloops out of thread*
Your R is wrong, moshy, knot your U.
I know. I just really wanted to throw a U like a boomerang.
Ah. Okay. Good. Carry on. Sorry to disturb…
It’s all good LGB. Someone has to ask the hard questions.
He’s not even near the boat and he’s not avoiding anything. He’s just moving the camera for no reason, except maybe to have a better look at the falling boat himself.
*ahem*
Cameraperson.
*ahem*
Camera OPERATOR.
Failboat. You don’t even have the chance to board it.
Sure you do, you just have to get a little wet first. And second. And last.
Quick!!! I need an excuse to miss the staff meeting starting in about an hour.
You could fake gastrointestinal distress?
But that would mean she’d have to spend time in the bathroom. And we know how much she LOVES the bathroom.
Here’s today’s excuse from my “Excuse a Day” calendar. “My identity was stolen.”
Go with this one ^^^
*nods vigorously*
At least it’s not true, right?
Tell them you have anal glaucoma. You just can’t see your @ss attending the meeting.
Maybe I should tell them I have an appt for anal bleaching.
No? Yeah, I didn’t think it was a good idea either.
*snork*
You’ll probably be excused if you started ripping people’s jugulars out with your teeth and feasting on their braaaaiiinnzzz, but there are other problems with that answer you should consider first.
I jumped on someone’s throat today. It’s about the same thing. I am not interested in feasting on her brainz however. She makes me … AAAAARGHHH!!!!!!!
*sigh*
Okay…just this ONCE.
*hands leila a loopy pill*
That’ll definitely help get you through the meeting.
OMG!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Wait! Leila! Leila! Go rent Star Wars right NOWWWWWWWWWW!
…and turn the sound down on the movie while playing “Dark Side of the Moon” instead.
That would defeat the purpose, MRN. You do realize she’s never seen the movie, don’t you?
WHAT!?!?!
*colapses into mushy mass*
Yes. Incredible as it may seem, ossy, Leila has NEVER seen Star Wars. Further, she’s never seen A Christmas Story. Nor a whole HOST of other flicks we take for granted.
I’m trying to get her to see she’s being silly about this whole “I don’t do Star Wars” thing. This might be the breakthrough I was looking for…
(I found it.)
I’ve been waiting for the mess at the bottom of the screen to resolve so I could apologize for flipping Avis. I really just wanted to flip a bird I had in the oven… Wait, maybe I should just keep quiet now and get ready for work. TTFN.
*snork!*
Well that is just unacceptable. I recommend we start a committee for the unfortunate who have missed these great icons of the past.
*whistles and sweeps ossacip’s gloop into bucket*
*places bucket in fridge to freeze and mould*
My gloop?
(Otherwise known as your “mushy mass”.)
Well, that would be all the stuff that was left of you when you collapsed into a mushy mass.
Oh, ok I guess…
Further, why aren’t you at work?
I know, she hasn’t, but since she’s taken the loopy pill, might as well intensify the experience.
.
I start in 1 1/2 hrs – dinner shift only today.
Absolutely not. She needs to be fully integrated into movie idiom, not drug culture. For shame!
.
Oh. Okay.
Do you think she would enjoy it more if she saw it at a convention and then had immeadiate access to people that she could laugh at if she didn’t enjoy it? I mean, the pink Vador alone would be worth the trip right?
She has the vapors?!?!
Better loosen her bodice then.
I thought that was the Wizard of Oz?
If you truly believe it can work for any movie.
It worked for The Rugrats Movie.
I don’t wanna watch Star Wars!!! I resist it.
I gotta tell you, that pill made me woozy. I am so sleepy right now and I am not joking. I felt my eyes get heavy during the meeting. Placebo?
Why are you crying? That makes me so sad.
I’m trying my best not to be sad too.
C’mon, smile!
Grin, even
You make me laugh Ms B!
The way it shows up around here, maybe you should see Airplane! first anyway.
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Surely you can’t be serious?!!
I am.
And don’t call me Shirley.
Roger, roger.
What’s your vector, Victor?
You brought your echo today?
I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you!
Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let ‘em crash.
It’s one of those things you’ll keep missing the longer you resist! The “double” post is from the movie “Airplane!”
Okay, good. Always start with the classics, I say.
Plus, there are all the references to Space Balls, which has Star Wars 101 and 102 as prereqs.
OOOhhhh yes we musn’t forget this one ^^^
How ’bout Airplane!, Leila? Surely you can do Airplane!.
It’s Leila. Severe shell-shock. Thinks she’s Ethel Merman.
What? Who the heck is that?
Leila, you’re a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?
*hasn’t seen Airplane!*
*ducks*
Oh. For. Crying. Out. Loud.
*runs out of the room screaming and waving hands in the air ala BFF*
Ms. B, I own both Airplanes. If you’d like, I will send them to you. No one should be without Airplane knowledge. I’ve seen it about 50 times and still laugh. My daughter took it to her dads so that she could introduce it to the next generation. (her boyfriend and bff) There aren’t many movies that stay funny long, long after they come out.
It’s not that I don’t want to watch it. I just haven’t gotten around to renting it just yet.
You don’t want to miss it…quite funny…along with Blazing Saddles…
Thus the beauty of Mel Brooks…nothing is sacred…
*head explodes*
*whistles and GBF’s pieces into bucket*
*places bucket in smelter to fuse pieces back together*
Thought I’d return the favor!
*sneaks in and carefully places {sweeps} in between {and/GBF’s}*
HA!!! *points @ Ms B*
I saw Airplane. Most memorable scene was when two suitcases started barking at each other. I peed my pants. I don’t know why that makes me laugh though.
Wow really? all you have to do is go outside and look up…Or you one of those remote Wisconsin people?
Hey!
*pinch*
I grew up in Wisconsin. :p
My daughter lives in Wisconsin!!
*wrenches Motts ear*
You be nice.
Have you seen these so-called “remote people”? Are they more like an indigenous tribe or would you consider them to be a cult?
I hear they’re a pretty far out group.
I haven’t seen A Christmas Story.
You have to go help a family member with gastrointestinal distress. This way you can leave.
How about this one: You just found out that someone has hacked your cell phone and you need to go to the Verizon/Sprint/whatever store to try and figure it out. It will take at least two hours to figure it out. Trust me.
Good one Avis!!
Not much fun when it really happens though.
This very thing happened to my self and Mama Bird last week. It’s STILL not cleared up!
What exactly happens when someone hacks your cell phone?
They changed the shipping and billing address and ordered a $300 blackberry. In order to change that info, they needed Mama Birds account number and four digits of her Social Security number. Verizon is having their fraud department look into it. Meanwhile, we want out of our contract.
I am not sure they could have gotten any of that information from hacking a cell phone. Maybe from hack a computer or sever, but I don’t think that information is store on a typical phone.
Clickie for the story.
I agree with you. V should let your mom out of the contract without charging that ridiculous fee. ~I just love cell phone companies and their stupid contracts.~
Article Elebenty;
The undersigned must give us all of his/her money if we so wish. Refusing to do so may result in the termination of vital bodily functions including but not limited to:
Digestion of Proteins
Mitosis
Vascular Circulation
Nervous Reflexes
Rectal Control
Nose Hair North/South Alignment
Should the undersigned not wish to have aforementioned bodily functions ceased without prior notice, he/she must agree to pay us a sum of money equal to, but no less than Three. Three shall be the number you shall pay, and the number of the paying shall be three. Four is too much, and two, not enough, unless the undersigned then continues to three.
~It’s purely for your convenience~
And I reserve the right to thumb my nose in Verizon’s general direction.
Seriously, this whole fiasco is making me crazy!
And I reserve the right to flip the bird in Verizon’s general direction.
No offense to my favorite little bird.
Oh yeah, well…
I’m telling the CEO about you!
*runs off smugly*
Please do tell the CEO. ~ I’m sure he’d looooove to hear all about his employees skimming money from the company and it’s customers. Also he might enjoy hearing that because of this ordeal, I’m telling everyone I know how poorly protected their personal info might just be whilst it resides in the company data bases.~
Okidokes. Do you want that in a Pie Chart, Venn Diagram, or “Customer Focus Group” Bar Graph?
I don’t think corporate executives understand words.
Yes.
I’ll have the blueberry pie chart with french vanilla ice cream.
One of your dogs swallowed your underwear and you have to rush them to the vet.
Oops, nesting fail. Sorry, I’m new here.
*snork*
*times above by 5*
*squeezes times 5*
*takes 3 squeezes and saves the rest for later*
I don’t see you often.
*tsk* They should know better than to launch a ship on Friday morning.
Exactly! Now, how am I supposed to break this bottle of champange on it?
Empty the bottle. It breaks easier that way.
*drinks the whole bottle of champagne*
*hic*
*hic!*
*hic!!*
Now wha…whad…whaddu I do??
*hands Leila a Star Wars DVD*
Here’s a copy of Gone With The Wind, sweetie. I knew you hadn’t seen it before. No, no. You don’t need to wait to see it until you’ve sober-up. That’s a girl. Off you go…
*borrows Gracie’s bat and bangs self on the head repeatedly and is surprisingly sober now*
No! Not Gone With The Wind!!! I would rather watch Star Wars. No, wait. I don’t know what I am saying. I remember not finishing GWTW cuz that whiny girl just drove me bananas. I can’t stand the lady in distress type movies.
*flees thread*
*Throws in Some Like it Hot, Notorious, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Pretty and Pink, Grease, The Outsiders, Sunset Boulevard, Forrest Gump, Garp, Touch of Evil and Shaun of the Dead.*
Okay, fess up. Who broke the blog?
*raises hand*
Hey, I was raised Catholic and I am guilty no matter what.
Hail Mary. You’re forgiven!!
WOOOHUUUUU!!!!!
*goes to sin again*
*suddenly appears in a puff of smoke*
Leila!
Ahh, Pope Bond…edict.
I’ve been… expecting you…
*stern face*
Leila, I’m afraid it’s time to go. To the naughty corner. You’ve been sinning, haven’t you?
What happened to the naughty barn?
Too full.
I can try to scootch over to make room.
Can you do Tetris? Cos a “T” shape would fit perfectly…
I was planning on it. Haven’t gotten around to actually do any sinning.
I know, I know. I have to go to the naughty corner anyway.
*slowly moves towards naughty corner*
*turns around and pinches everyone but doesn’t say where*
*hands Bloody Mary*
Now sin again!
Really bad camera job. They’re standing there filming the boat and just when something actually happens they look away…then they don’t even get a great angle of it capsized. Camera work fail!
~Because standing under a falling boat is the smart thing to do.~
Hey, it works!
Hee!
The real fail is that the camera is being operated sideways to begin with. The operator is definitely not under that boat.
WELL DUH but why turn the camera sideways???
clear blue water.
♪ Cool, clear, water ♪
FRANKIE THE FAILBOAT RETURNS!! HUZZAH!!!
Camera-on-event FAIL. ^^
Okay kinda random but didn’t know where else to ask…What happened to Tofulator? I finally found the website again and there hasn’t been a new post since last September…
That’s because it sucked, Sarah.
*rofl rofl rofl*
*soi soi soi*
*notes the lack of tildes in that response*
I thought she meant it though.
*facepalm*
I’m slow. Ne’mind.
Holly crap Failblog…this is like ove a year old when Break.com showed it!
Stop FAILING at showing old internet stuffs that have been around for years! You are becoming Break.com…sad.
May I refer you to the Vote button near the top of the page for insights into how fails, old or new, make it to the front page.
You can take the horse to the water but you have to beat it into submission to make him drink it or turn it into wine.
Poor horse!
After all that, I bet it collapsed.
Like a horse of cards that left a cart in front of the house.
I seriously :[ don’t get this complaint. Just because something is old doesn’t negate its humour. For instance, Abbott and Costello acts are still funny..
…and the movie Airplane … old but funny as heck.
*squeeze*
And that Shakespeare fella. Lots of knee-slappers in his oeuvre.
All he did was string together a bunch of quotes that everyone knows.
I don’t know how manny of you understand spanish, but the guy talking says: ‘I can’t believe you…..I can’t believe you’.
I found it so funny, the guy doesn’t even get alarmed….that accident must have a really large price.
Que?
*nods head*
C
K?
well… that’s several milions sunk. well done.
one hell of a failboat
*quietly pilots boat into karce’s post*
*attaches crane to ‘hell of a’ and drops into the abyss*
*throws ‘helluva’ into post in its place*
*quietly sails away into the night*
*applauds*
Brava!!!!!!!
*sits back and admires lgb’s work*
now that is one helluva job!
That was truly beautiful.
*applause*
Hellevecta, yeah it is!
what river is that?!? it looks like a river of shit.
Good title for a Billy Joel song.
(If this doesn’t nest properly, you’ll have to hunt for it.)
((Or not, your choice really.))
I am…
in a river…
of shıt!
Huh. Must be near Winnepeg.
*snerk*
*sniff*
What’s that smell??
UH OH! FB is falling apart. It finally became self aware!
We should probably wait at least a few months before starting the resistance army. It may take that long to sort out who the real freedom fighters are and who are the cyborgs.
so so scared…. someone hold me
*holds Jaysen’s poor, pitiful, shaking body*
Sorry, this has been running through my head all day and since the blog seems to be borked . . .
*falls into a silent slumber pressed against LGB’s chest” best pillows in the world haha
Whoa!!!
~I am not okay with this.~
*passes Leila pepper spray*
Thanks, how do you work this?
*presses trigger and sprays eyes*
AAAAAAAAAACK!!!
It burns us!! It burns us!!!!!!!!!
No, silly, you use it like thi-
*sprays self in eyes*
EAAAAAARGHHH!!! OH BLOODY HELL MY EYES!!! MOTHER OF GOD, WHAT IN THE [Censored by the Vatican] POTATO!
*snork!*
Uhh, I mean,
… Not again!
*”christens” body double with “holy water”*
Now this might sting a bit, but you’ll feel better afterwards, your Holiness.
Who’s groping my kid sister?
*points @ Jaysen*
*wakes up* hey guys whats up? and why do you all have blood shot eyes?
Search me.
Somethin about peper spray and boobs?
*quickly throws ‘p’ into post*
*Takes little sista by the hand and leads her out of thread*
In Soviet Russia, boat launches you!!
even in soviet russia those jokes are old and worn.
now you ow me 1000000$ for a new boat
They say “Hope floats”….I guess sometimes it just floats upside down.
Boat overboard !!!
now Enya could sing:
Fail away, Fail away, Fail away….
Wow – hours later, and this is still borked.
I’M ON A BOAT!!! I’M ON A BOAT!!! HOLY FF**************KKKKKK
Wrong caption. This wasn’t a boat launch fail, it was a fail boat launch.
Thats some crappy video taking skills…..moves the camera off view for most of the actual fail….
~You’re right! So much for his Oscar.~
conclusion:…ah crap…
that has got to hurt… the pockets!
Boat launch win! (I mean it did make it to the water)
Camera operator fail! (The boat house was not as interesting as the boat)
probably some rich guy aw well he was going to buy the one with the pool anyway
omebody is paying for that >.>
It’s a whale of a fail on the open seaaaa!
*provides the boat-transporteurs with some additional belts*
The biggest fail is the cameraman.
I’m on a boat.
DO A BARREL ROLL
Hey Smails, my dinghy is bigger than your whole boat!
Holy shit. That boat have to be worth several hundred thousand dollars. I would be pissed as hell.
Whoops, we’ll have to launch the boat again.
(Anchors aweigh!)
“Conn, ahh, we’ve got a slight list to starboard!”
I name you: FailBoat!!!
*smashes wine bottle on sinking boat*
It’s super effective!!
Whatever fails your boat.
I don’t get this. How did they get that boat all the way into Willie Wonka’s private chocolate milk bay? And why were they trying to put a boat that looks like it’s made of plastic and metal (and not cookies and gumdrops) into the chocolate milk? I bet Mr. Wonka was pissed.
Fail only thing I can say
not mine!
goat dies, falls into moat*
*goat begins to float*