Video by: fustyWumpus
Happy Friday FAILers!
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Video by: fustyWumpus
Happy Friday FAILers!
This video is also viewable at: YouTube | MySpaceTV | DailyMotion
This post has been intentionally left blank. Please go to failblog.org for instructions.
Saves millions of trees worldwide.
This must be one of those scams.
Why is there a pile of pennies. Oh well, anyway. They could have saved many trees and time if they would have used one index sized card to say “vist the website” FAIL
I thought user didn’t read manual.
EVERYBODY READ THIS***
this is not a place to chat this is a comments page if your not commenting the pic/vid don’t poste at all because people who have stuff to say about the pic/vid cant
^^^ See! More justin, more asterisks!
you know what i mean and please dont reply to this its making it harder to read the comments with actual opinoins. this is my last poste btw
OK, maybe I was wrong.
Stop making off-topic posts!
STOP IT! i will not stand for all of this off topic conversation! P.S. the other day i was walking down the street and found a penny, but when i picked it up it was actually a dime. I felt so lucky until i looked to my left and saw a poor kitty cat limping on a sore leg…so i gave it some bread and went on my way.
‘see a penny, and pick it up, the rest of the day, you’ll have
a pennygood luck’Does a dime mean more good luck, or would it have been luckier if you had found a penny?
It has to be a dime now due to inflation.
HEY! Don’t you know that you’re making it impossible for other people to post??? Stop blocking that little “add comment” box at the bottom of the page!!
Ooh…a penny!
*picks it up*
The penny post no longer exists, it’ll cost you more than that if you want to comment.
All you get for a penny is this. . .
*squeeze*
*hands The Moomin a penny*
*looks hopeful*
*SQUEEZE*
*SQUEEZE*
Thank you, Moomin. You have just restored the fairly good mood I was in until a little over an hour ago.
*grabs a handful of pennies from the jar*
Oh, I hope I’m not too late…
*waits anxiously*
hmmmm…*sees group of people clutching pennies* digs out pennies from the bottom on my purse. *Stands by Judy…. looks up, then down and all around* … *whispers to Judy* what are we waiting for????
Shhh, don’t let everyone hear! Moomin squeezes. On sale for a penny each, today only!
*wiggles with anticipation while counting out my pennies*
Stop posting penny-posts. People who want to talk about the kitteh with the sore leg can’t post anything.
This is my last poste btw.
Until I find out what a “poste” actually is.
I believe poste is spanish for pole.
*squeezes all in thread*
*uses pennies to buy fluffy a new pole as she used her last one*
The kitty is all better now after the application of the bread poultice.
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?
You guys need to SERIOUSLY quit typing these comments for no reason. It’s almost like you’re trying to do it on purpose just to do it. If you’re going to do something like that please do it somewhere else. And I’m not even going to put a sarcasm tag on this comment so you’ll never know how I really feel.
Seriously?
*has no reason to type this*
Was this your last poste?
you SERIOUSLY need to lighten up and stop trying to control people
*picks up a hundred dollar note* Does this count?
yes but contrary to popular belief the dime is not ten times luckier than a penny, but only 1.75 times luckier. “why?” you ask, well…that I am not sure of.
Math is only a matter of opinion anyway.
I thought pennies were luckier ’cause they’re bigger. I guess size doesn’t matter?
youYou know whatiImean and pleasemean. Please dont reply tothis itsthis. It’s making it harder to read the comments with actualopinoinsopinions.thisThis is my lastpostepost, btw …1. The shift key is there for a reason. Please learn where it is, and how to use it. Maybe when you get to high school, you’ll be able to take some sort of “keyboard skills” class. If one is available, please enroll.
2. Why do you end a post without punctuation?
3. Safety.
4. Is it almost your bed time?
He obviously missed his nap today.
Is it wrong to find entertainment in the antics of the stupid?
If it is, I don’t wanna be right!!
You were wise to keep that extra ‘e’ and apostrophe, NS!
*snerk*
yes it is but we dont care
No, it is not wrong.
If so this whole blog is wrong.
Very wronge.
there wsa no neede too cancil the ‘this’ in a teh first line.
lol i guess i shouldn’t have put “this is my lats post” but seeing as how the comment page is already overloaded with junk…
are you serious? i haven’t got mad about any of the other comments about me, but when you started saying i have to capitalize my i’s , that’s where i draw the line. lol. but do you get what im saying about all these spammers and their “role playing”?
ps. im not mad lol
You should work on your lats some more. Neither the bench press nor curls will help you in that regard.
He’s not from around here.
There is also a apostrophe key for a reason. Why don’t you use it?
If you write “dont” instead of “don’t” or “do not” you lack in “keyboard skills” class also. Or you’re a badass in lazyness
When, in the entire history of the internet, has the statement “please don’t reply to this” done anything other than give the reader a perverse urge to reply?
I know! Ya know?
Don’t answer that.
Who are you to tell me what not to answer to? Seriously it’s posts like that make it hard to read the actual comments.
You forgot a comma.
*claps hand over mouth*
Ya know what would help your neck feel better? A good, old-fashioned “fooming”! It’s been a while, has it not?
Ooh. I see a likely candidate, too!
(Lookie up there! ↑↑)
Uh…yeah. That’s kinda who I was referring to, ya know?
Don’t answer that.
*snerk!*
I don’t have an answer, but I’m going to reply anyway. Don’t comment on that.
i have an answer, but i’ll keep it to myself. please dont comment on that either.
Whose mouth DW? Didn’t you read the instructions? NO ****** allowed — somehow they make it harder to read the comments — I’m not sure how though … *mumbles* shucks, just forget I posted this and whatever you do, do not reply to it …
Who are you to tell me what not to answer to? Seriously it’s posts like that make it hard to read the actual comments!
(emphasis added)
(Pssst…your spelling and punctuation are WAY to good for this to be at all believable.)
Oops…
*STOMPS ALL AROUND THE SITE* gosh darn to heck you people, don’t you know that I AM IN CHARGE of this place and in my reality you can ONLY do what I sat and I say, well, um… hmmm… I am not really sure what I should say. Let’s see, I know!!
“Don’t you people know that we are suppose to be engaging in horny roleplay chat!! I have not seen ANY horny talk in this entire fail. It makes it VERY hard for me to concentrate.
* cough *
I bet there’s something else that makes it hard to concentrate…
Summary: Horney… roleplay… makes it VERY hard…
I am aroused.
xD
The sound of one hand clapping?
lmao xD
In My Azinine opinion?
*THWACKS justin with a headstone*
Next time I’m calling out the hoard.
**SHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK* crap i think i just broke my nun chuck of justice on Justin…i need to fix that…but it was totally worth it!
Should you really be chucking nuns, Jaysen? I’m not sure the Pope will be best pleased.
what if i said i was chucking nuns into pits filled with jello, whip cream, and teddy bears? better?
I’d say we just found a replacement for Russ Meyer.
Justifying blow that was.
I’ve edited your post for you. You’re welcome.
EVERYBODY READ THIS***
thisThis is not a place tochat thischat. This is a commentspage ifpage. Ifyouryou’re not commenting on the pic/vid, don’tpostepost at all, because people who have stuff to say about the pic/vidcantcan’t …Were you going to say something else (poorly)? Without punctuation at the end of your
rantsentence, it’s difficult to tell.If you’re not using at least fairly standard spelling, punctuation, and grammar when you post about how we’re not posting the “pic/vid,” don’t post at all, because people who have stuff to say about the pic/vid (or anything else, for that matter) find you irritating.
Kthxbai.
*RIGL*
*squeeze*
first of all ty for the proof reading. but do you see what im saying about all the trash that clutters up the comment page like my posts and the posts about picking up penny’s?
Your trash may be some other person’s taco bell.
Do you see what NS is saying about not failing English when you post something here?
He’s too distracted by the shiny penny.
Pick up Penny’s what? Finish your blasted sentence!
I think he’s referring to “picking up Pennys,” i.e., going to bars and meeting girls named Penny. Some people have very specific taste in women.
Personally, I will not date those who are more than 3′ 1 1/4″ and who were not born during the second week of July, with a name contain at least 3 vowels and the letter ‘M’.
*containing
You started the trash. x]
Is this like the comment version of the Streisand effect?
*sticks tongue out at justin*
This is SO a place to chat! As I believe all my fellow failpeeps have proven.
I can’t tell if he’s serious or desperately looking for someone to chat with.
I shall now chat. Chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat chat
*look at bar*
Yeah, I have a phone call for a Mr. Horn E. Chat?
Roleplay? Is there a Roleplay in the house?
To be, or not to be–that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them.
For some reason this always reminds me of Calvin and Hobbs. His mashed potatoes do this monologue and then break out into song.
One of my favorite comics was Calvin and Hobbes. Fraz has a lot of the same drawing style.
I miss Calvin and Hobbes. And Bloom County. Those two totally made the funny pages worth reading.
Non Sequiter (sp?) also is pretty good.
I adore Frazz.
(And Calvin and Hobbes, of course.)
Current top favorites Get Fuzzy and Frank and Ernest. F & E’s puns put me away. Did you know that I like puns? I save Get Fuzzy for the last.
Of course he knows. He read the script after all.
Oh, those poor people… Why can’t they? Is it because some comments are warnings for others to write comments only?
hm, looks like the manual writers played a few too many infocom games
FIRRRRST
you’re second…
FAIL
not first!
fail
liaf
There will be a test on the Manual.
On page 8, what word followed “intentionally”?
Too much pressure!
My mind is a blank
This page is intentionally wrong!
It’s all part of the plan! More or less.
Dang…I was going to guess “liberal”.
You rang?
YAY!!!
*squeeze!*
*squeeze*
Is your neck feeling better, or have the meds kicked in enough that you don’t care any more?
I’m twiddling my thumbs here for a few more minutes, then I’m going scrapbooking — only working digital tonight, though, so I don’t have oodles of stuff with me.
The meds have helped, but I can still feel it. I think a good night’s rest will set me right. I get these icky flare-ups now and then–they’re nothing to worry about. It’s when I start losing the feeling and strength in my fingers and hands that I need to call the neurosurgeon.
Have a wonderful time scrapbooking!! I’ll just stay here and play Bejeweled Blitz by myself.
Hey DW!!! I’m having an exciting Friday nite too. Sitting at my computer while my DD plays with my new iPhone (work account). “Mom… how many apps can I download onto your phone!!!???”
Elsa_Mama!! How nice to see you back in these parts!
Mostly I’m just trying to stay warm tonight. We’re in the negative degrees…brrrrrrr!!
I hope your answer was “As many as you want, as long as they’re free!”
Anywho, good evening ladies. *removes hat*
You and everybody else I think! Where abouts are you? I’m freezing in Chicago. My darling daughter has figured out how to get to Facebook on my iPhone…. I’llhave to have her show me.
Good Evening hammykins!! I had to give her a limit otherwise she would probably download ALL the free apps — as it is she is downloading and then deleting them to get other ones. But now she is distracted with Facebook.
I did let her buy 10 new Lady Gaga and Katy Perry songs though … those at least are on her iPod (I think…)
Good evening, all! Lovely to see you here!
*squeezies!*
*gives Judy back her penny*
These are free!
*places piggy on table*
This comment intentionally left bank.
Aw, thanks!
I’m not here long. Just waiting for the comforter to finish drying, then I’m off to snuggletown.
ohhhh… nice warm comforter fresh from the dryer???!!! I’m jealous … *pulls conformter off the bed anf puts ion the dryer sets on “snuggle warm”*
Admiral! *squeeze* You’re late for the party. Care to poke a few with us?
I wanna poke!! Who are we pokin’? Huh, who are we pokin’??? Oh, I just poked my daughter — she yelled at me! TeeHee
Hai thar trolls!
Cordislabeling for all your blank pages. YES! It’s true! We can make paper blank!
It’s not blank. It has writing on it.
Someone just wanted to make sure everyone gets the message.
I think it is a conspiracy by headache pill manufacturers. They create the paradox to give you a headache, then the cash comes rolling in.
Then…Safety!
No no no… Profit!
Then they sell you headache pills. It don’t make sense.
It shouldn’t. It slows your brain.
see, they sell you the headache pill and it gives you a headache. then you need to take another one that has a 50% chance of making the headache worse….
see they got you in their grasp and there isn’t anything you can do about it.
And then there is the possibility of ‘unintentional’ side-effects. They have a whole host of expensive medicines to cope with them too.
Then they give you drugs to cope with drug addiction.
There’s no escape
you are a smart one….
yes indeed there are side effects and medication to deal with the side effects….. which themselves have side effects.
I don’t actually tink of this as a fail, many times my team has joked that we should create a blank manual like this one, especially for simple equipment it goes along the lines of: If you can’t figure out how to use it without a manual, you probably shouldn’t be using it.
all these comments with “*slaps* ” and stuff like that fail and everyone who does stuff like that ruin the picture. and the people do stuff like that aren’t even talking about the pic they are just clutering up the coments
ps. this is vid hilarious
For the record, justin, your comment is the only one with any asterisks in it as of the time I posted this.
That stayed true for roughly half an hour at least.
Oh, I absolutely LOVE the contradictions in this guy’s post. His claim that the vid is “hilarious” absolutely contradicts his claim that we “ruin the picture”.
D-. Study up on your rhetorical argumentation skills.
is it realy that serious? dis iz teh intewebz i could miz spell all’s i plz. xD
Of course you could. No one is saying that you can’t.
We’re saying that the way you express yourself makes you look like an idiot, which is an entirely different thing altogether.
I’m constantly amused/amazed by the folks that come to an already established group/site and try to tell us that we’re “doing it wrong” or “ruining it”. If they don’t want to play with us, they don’t have to.
Avis, you phrased that sentence wrong. It’s, “they don’t have to play with us if they don’t want to.” You’re totally ruining that comment for me. Jeez. I mean, really.
:p
*squeeze*
We can see that you are capable of misspelling. The question is, can you spell as you should?
*exercises her proofreading muscles*
allAll these comments with “*slaps* ” and stuff like that fail, and everyone whodoes stuffengages in behavior like thatruinruins the picture.and theThe people who do stuff like that aren’t even talking about thepic theypic. They are justcluteringcluttering up thecomentscomments.What is wrong with the educational system today?!!!
ps. this is vid hilarious
ps. this is vid hilariousP.S. Is this video hilarious?
P.S. This video is hilarious!
Must you abbreviate “video?” There are only two more letters — go ahead and use them!
This post is hilarious!! Great editing NS.
Apparently this guy missed all the horny roleplay chat. That must be why he does not appreciate the comments … *squeeze*
lol ill try:[)
What video?
This blog has videos?
This is a blog?
I thought that This is a pronoun.
No, this blog has trucks that are magnetically attracted to bridges.
Brought to you by the makers of ‘do not read this’ signs, and ‘touch without touching’ handdryers.
What was written on FailBook? I forgot…
‘FAIL!’?
I was asking for “Entrance only, do not enter” thing (this caption suits the other FailBook fairly well by the way)
There has got to be a less efficient way to communicate this information. Maybe a billboard?
I was thinking a celebrity endorsement. We can fly them around the world to deliver the message.
Oh, I know! The 800 number on the “blank” pages could be to an airline reservation desk, where you reserve a private corporate jet to fly you to their worldwide headquarters in order to tell you to buy next years model for the answer to your question!
Now that’s efficiency!
How about a trip around Pluto? That way we would avoid traffic.
Neptune, Pluto was demoted for bad behavior and isn’t a planet anymore.
Wouldn’t circling a non-planet be more economical than circling a planet? I would think fees for a real planet would be much higher than for a non-planet.
Poor Pluto.
Poor Pluto? The guy’s a freeloader! All this time, passing himself off as a planet. No more free rides! You wanna be a planet, you gotta earn it.
It’s now a dwarf planet, we’ve got to visit it now.
I think one if those signs pulled behind an airplane would be better. It would be cheaper than usual since there would be no message….
Phone! Notice they give you an 800 number on each “blank” page. If they made that a 900 number instead and put you on hold for half an hour when you called …
lol.
i visited their homepage and you can find the actual manual there. I think they really wanted to save some money for printing pictures …
post is intentionally left blank
“Darn Bill, page 6 is missin’. What now?”
“There is no page number six. Page seven – no Poofters!”
this is WIN, not FAIL.
I’d totally do that to my customers just for the lolz
I must make an essay about that book for school. It says exactelly everything I think.
So every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year all you think about is a phone number for help with a pill?
This reminds me of a song!
This is the song that never ends.
It just goes on and on my friends…
Ok, I’ll spare you.
Somebody starting singing without knowing what it was…
Now they’ll continue singing it forever, just because…
Oh goddess….
not this again…
♫I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves♫
♫Everybody’s nerves♫
♫Everybody’s nerves♫
♫I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves♫
♫And this is how it goes♫
♫Da da da♫
♫I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves♫
♫Everybody’s nerves♫
♫Everybody’s nerves♫
♫I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves♫
♫And this is how it goes♫
♫Da da da♫
*repeat ad nauseum*
Reminds me of Weird Al’s “This Song’s Just Six Words Long” to the tune of “I’ve Got My Mind Set On You” by George Harrison!
It reminds me of my nieces driving me nuts on long trips in the car.
But that’s what road trips are for! Aren’t they?
They would also yell “CHICKEN” at people we passed. Then Brittany started yelling “BIMBO”. When I told her, obscurely, what it meant; she laughed for a week. They are responsible for all of my grey hairs.
“Bimbo” is one of Mama Bird’s favorite words.
I still don’t know why.
She doesn’t yell it at the top of her lungs, out of a moving car’s window does she?
This booklet should have a second part… or be made into a movie adaptation starring Robert Pattinson staring at a phone in a room with white walls and no doors, just one 3 1/4 inch window to the south east corner.
Then he reaches for the manual and gets a papercut, staring in horror at the shock of red blossoming against the immaculate white.
He slowly pushes himself back along the floor, horror growing by the minute as the trail of red follows him. He curls into a ball in the corner.
Then the phone begins to ring. . .
And as the shrill ringing of the phone gets louder, he feels an overwhelming desire to write The Great American Novel.
But he lost The Great American Novel’s address!
He answered the phone, it was a wrong number. He still took the order for the takeaway though, and the family went hungry that night.
Evil child that he is.
pretty shit tbf
Travel by fire?
Fire by wire!
tickle best feet?
Try Beets for Free?
Testy baboons fight?
Twenty bananas fill?
Teething babies fret?
Tortoise bounce fail
Two brawling Frenchmen?
Tiger Butt Found.
Tasty banana feast.
Twisted both fingers.
Turtle-boy fights.
Tarantulas burying fallacies.
Two Bloggers Frolic
Fry beans on fee
I know that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but I’ve never seen any of That that was “pretty”.
Wow – I’ll bet the pulmonary surgeons who are supposed to be placing the stent aren’t amused by the lack of instructions… or at least their patients aren’t…
lolrus.
1ST
DOES NOT EXIST!
Must be Obama
dumbass ^
|
failbook
This is probably the script for the live action adaptation of Cowboy Bebop.
The age-old question:
What would happen if you gave a yo-yo to a flock of flamingos?
You’d get “Carnival of the Animals” stuck in your head?
*squeeze!*
Hee! I knew you’d get it!
For me it was the hippos in tutus that will forever be stuck in my head.
They would suddenly have the capacity for a complex thought process and decide who amongst the flamingo brethren would become top bird, once the leader is chosen in a vicious flamingo flame fight (or FFF) he would decide to take the yo-yos away from them all to return to the peace they once had or they would move on to Las Vegas and have their own performance in one of the casinos. Soon after they would rule the world… with yo-yos…
Or so I have been told.
Do you mean orally, or…:shock:!!??
What does this have to do with a manual?
I know – it should be like an automatic – right?
I’m lost…they should’ve added a Table of Contents.
And an index and a glossary.
And dog-eared the pages that have the dirty parts.
Those are my favorites … and the best reason to buy used books …
And some blank pages to allow your mind to rest from the effort of reading.
Is there a braille version?
I’m pretty sure it was intentional
just as i expected my post were made fun of because of grammar and spelling. but do you see what im saying look at all that trash about picking up penny’s and dimes, its making the comment page junk.
Hey Dude!!! *poses with “dude hands”* I thought you said you weren’t going to post anymore???? Get with the program Man, this here is not a “comment on the fail” place — it is a say whatever you want and have fun place — so take your hatin’ somewheres else …
who’s hatin’? im neutral. if your not neutral on the internet trolls will eat you up, like they have done already (not you btw)
om nom nom nom…..
-burp-
noobs taste good!
You are not helping your own case…
You are not helping the clutter on the page. If you don’t like it,go elsewhere.
OK…
You are the only one that is annoying to me.
Are you the obsessive neat freak of the web?
OCD much?
justJust asiI expected , my postwerewas made fun of because of grammar and spelling.but doDo you see whatim sayinI’m saying?lookLook at all thattrashhilarity about picking uppenny’spennies and dimes,itsit’s making the comment pagejunkawesome.You’re welcome.
*pays copyrights*
What’s that manual for anyway?
How to operate women?
No…that manual was discontinued.
The majority of men couldn’t even find the right parts, so the rest was moot.
You’re not talking about the manual anymore, are you?
I don’t know about that, Manuel always did pretty well with the ladies.
Que?
/me got his tetanus and Hep. A shots today.
Well… the book was at first, yeah…
But then it just got repetitive.
I accidenty my adjective.
This is a friendly warning to any and all Verizon Policy holders: I am recently experiencing MAJOR technical difficulties with this provider. They keep calling me to inform me of overdue bills. I am not the policy holder!! Someone hacked my mothers account and bought a blackberry and changed the billing address!! But she didn’t know BECAUSE THEY CHANGED THE BILLING ADDRESS!! The only way we found out about this was that they keep calling ME to find out all kinds of info (that I am not privy to and wouldn’t pass on even if I was). AVOID VERIZON!!! She had to go to a store in person to try and clear this up because they didn’t believe she was who she said she was EVEN THOUGH THEY LET SOME SCAMMER DO EVERYTHING VIA PHONE.
I’ll try to calm down and not yell now. Sorry for the yelling.
Yell away.
I’m having a premonition about a future Little Bird Blog subject.
Probably a day or three away, I still need to get the whole story from my mom. She let loose her own rant on her favorite website and that’s how I know what I know so far. But yeah, I’ll likely rant at my own site and there I won’t be hemmed in by wordpress filters. All the good curse words will probably get used.
How about:
Not Hercules could have knocked out his brains, for he had none.
(Shakespear’s Cymbeline)
I just really want to hear the whole story before I go into the REAL rant!
You were obviously not a journalism major.
Question: Where has LGB disappeared off too? I just realized I haven’t seen her on here in a few days.
*removes extra ‘O’*
Just making sure you did RTFM. Unfortunately, we did forget to WTFM… Which equals fail.
And yet, still more informative than half the poorly translated instruction sheets/manuals I’ve ever seen.
i wonder… no i bet that the phone number tells you to go check on the website and the website tells you to buy the manual…
What, you didn’t already know what to do?
Hmm… Somebody who wrote that manual does not even know how to use stents.
(Only a top cardiological surgeon knows how to actually use them – stents are coil-like scaffolds used to hold plaque-constricted coronary heart vessels open. Or, other methods can be used in alleviating coronary heart vessel constrictions.)
Still better than Twilight.
It’s cheaper too!
Wow! This is a great post. I should write a song about it, “Just one less piece of paper” xD
Fake.
No Crap. :/ It was a joke.
What?
RTFM gone wrong
they managed to save lots of ink there, its a win!
Oh!
So thats how you do it?
someone was just probably in a hurry to get home that night. i know how it is.
I went to the site as described on the intentionally blank document and looked at the PDF… Over half of the 60 pages are marked as intentionally blank, I kid you not!
Way to be an environmentalist.
please visit “http://www.youtube.com/failblog.org/2010/01/08/manual-fail/” for instructions on how to use this useless manual.
A Luddite’s worst nightmare.
A manual fail, but a call-to-technology win!
…really?
maybe they needed those few extra ounces for cheaper shipping…
If only Twilight was as riveting.
See! More justin, more asterisks!
Well now we know to not use cordis
Lol what a fail