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You called?
♪ Desperado. ♪
♪ Why don’t you come to your senses? ♪
Call me, call me anytime. Call me!
*calls*
*k@ calls*
*squeeze*
*handcuffs Leila to himself*
There now Leila you can never leave again.
*K@ ‘a’ walls*
*falls back dazed*
What is one to do when handcuffed to a doggie with nerf balls?
Whatever you do…..do not pick up either a stick or a tennis ball, it will lead to unexpected exercise.
Good advice k@. My hubby may not let me play ever again here if that should happen. heeeeeeee!!!
first! after those years, finally first!
Which years?
It’s the failblog time warp again.
*Jumps to the left*
*snork*
*steps to the right*
*Puts hands on hips*
*pulls knees in tight*
*does the pelvic thrust*
*gets embarrassed*
*Goes insane*
*does it again*
OK, everyone, let’s do it again.
*Double takes*
*Walks down street just having a think*
*notices a snake of a guy giving Marius an evil wink*
*makes note of pick up truck registration*
*stares from pickup truck, with the Devil’s eyes*
*Feels for loose change*
Not for nothing, but I have to add time to the parking meter.
*squeaks and begins repeating things*
Bashing.
*jumps to the left*
*Snickers*
*But refrains from jinxing*
*sings Snickers refrain*
Not going anywhere for a while?
I’ll be here for another 5.8 seconds. Any last requests?
But it took me more than 5.8 seconds to read that!
*hands czuhc Evelyn Wood Speed Reading DVD*
This should help…
*HappyNewYearsqueeze*
you haaave no life and you suck noob cake with a cheese flavouuurrr BUNN TO DUNN I DONT WANT A GUN meeep meeeep. posting on every fail its like a MAIL service 40k 40k no need to /b/…..!!!…. flee notify or spam datta mekaniko. BURRITO * Loliek * * squeeezeee* cant you hit a burd“`??
after all those years, still only second!
And still crazy?
Crazy? I was crazy once!
They locked me in a padded room.
I died there.
Then the worms came.
They tickled my nose.
That drove me crazy!
Crazy? I was crazy once!
Lyrics to Lady GaGa song?
Actually it’s Katy Perry.
no you’re not, sorry! maybe next time
Desperate fail.
*uses wives*
*S fives*
You win.
Uh oh, what did I win?
I found this potato. You want?
Er . . . um . . . no.
*Plays hot potato*
*Tosses to K@*
I appear to have found this cricket bat.
Nothing like the sound of hot potato on willow.
*thwacks*
Ooooo! That’s a sixer.
I know I could use one. Do you have an extra?
*Snickers some more*
Must be my lucky day. I usually lose these ties.
*jumps to the right and applies New Year SQUEEZES*
HI!!!
*waves*
Happy *¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ *New Year!
Yay! Happy New Year squeezes!!!
*squeeze!*
Where ya been, Leila?
I like the graphics Marius.
Happy New Year to you both!!
LEILA!
*pounce!*
Ooof!!!
Hello you blue thang!!! How goes it?
Hey girl!!
*big squeeezzzieess*
Hello you nutty skratdaddy you! Did you do well for Christmas?
It goes well! Nice looking farm, btw!
ROFL! Thank you. I am really not sure what it is I am doing but I will keep plowing away.
That’s my approach to life in general.
Mine is to never acknowledge my complete lack of understanding what I’m actually doing.
I don’t understand.
No matter how carefully I approach life it always gets away from me.
But it will always be there waiting for you at the end of the day, like a used wife.
*Tries to skew Judy’s comment*
f**k.
You were first to make me laugh.
aww… there’s always next year.
fack?
*fork.
There is a cutlery shortage throughout the world.
*nods sagely*
*squeeze*
Lifeboy, please.
*squeeze*
No!!! You’ll go blind!!!
Glad somebody got that one!
*HappyNewYearsqueezeJudy*
Yeah…I am not sure I get that one.
I should have known better than to use a movie reference with Leila: the girl is severely movie-challenged.
Severely!!! I am trying to catch up though.
LGBblueNewYearsqueezies*
(Having trouble wth my asterisks today. Lost my bits yesterday.)
Is bits code for something?
Um… actually that’s a pretty accurate lable/description of that show.
Yes, i did
Well, at least you admit it. That’s the first step on the road to recovery.
The large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
i still read it as housewifes
Well, no big difference actually.
To bad it’s not christmas anymore, now I can’t do my HO-HO-HO joke.
But you just did.
My god, the irony!
Wait…what?
*facepalm*
I think Doremi’s god does laundry.
Does this imply god is a woman?
*tried to resist, but failed horribly*
*Exits stage left*
*sighs*
*picks up personalized pink sparkly bat*
*takes a stance*
*THWACK!*
I wish BFF was here to blow ‘it’ to pieces as well.
*beams in*
*sets Type 2 Phaser to Disintegrate*
*Fires, leaving nothing but a few dust particles*
*beams out*
*standing ovation*
*hoots and holers*
WooHoo GS!!!!
Hooters and holers
*sets time warp to past*
*HappyNewYearsqueezesScotty before he beams out*
*resets time warp to present*
Aw, hell. I shouldda set it forward a month!
Wait… who?
*headdesk*
*facepalm*
*facedesk*
*palmdesk*
*headpalm*
*Palmpilots*
*buttpalms*
*hairypalms*
*Palmettobugs*
*heartsofpalm*
Thread called on account of lunch.
*desk in palmtree*
*palmtreefacedesk*
*facepalmdesktree*
DING-!DING!-DING!
We have a winner!! Tell her what she’s won, Johnny…
A slightly smashed potato.
I did that earlier!
To rich for my blood.
Here is a loan….00000
we have to use wives
For what? What? WHAT?
That’s an impressive hole!
*golf craps*
It’s not a fail, it’s a win!
Now, there’s one refreshing comment.
Meh. Haven’t heard THAT one before.
*HappyNewYearsqueezesLeila*
Glad I wasn’t the only one.
*accepts squeezes and returns many back*
Happy New Year!!!
Mistya, sweetie. Unfortunately, though, I can’t spend much time here until this month is over.
But, I’ll try to pop in as often as possible. I can’t stay away from you guys too long…
We are addicting like that. We have yet to come up with a patch to ward off withdrawals.
Don’t work too hard.
Too late. But thanks anyway…
*squeeze*
You spelled Gnu Year wrong.
*squeeze*
Gno way!!!!
*squeeze*
Gnot so, oh great Balloon One.
*HappyGnuYearsqueeze*
Oh! I gneed one, too!
*squeeze!*
Sup there, sweetie!
^^^^
But I can do it again…
*SKAWEEEEEEZE*
Ooh, I started a squeezefest!
*squeezes everybody*
*dives into SqueezeFest*
*feels amply Squozed*
Ahhhh!!!!
*takes a running start*
CANNONBALL!!!!!!
*dives into squeezefest*
*squeezes everyone*
*collects squeezes that have fallen out as a result of the cannonball*
Whew! That was close. We need them all!!!!
*ska-weezes the Failpeezes*
Which reminds me – it’s been over two weeks since I’ve been in the cuddle puddle. Did anyone continue them over the holidays?
Now that you mention it, no. But it’s a new year, so it seems only right to start things off right with a proper Cuddle Puddle tomorrow.
Must we wait till tomorrow?
I vote we have one today and one tomorrow!
I second that vote!
I second the second
Great. We can start with the next fail.
No, I would say that is pretty accurate!
[sup]^that parrot likes [b]win![/b][/sup]
BBCode fail :<
But you thought me something new (curious)
What are we trying to accomplish here?
Drinking game?
Sinking shame.
Linking fame.
Stinking blame.
Kinking maim.
Blinking dame.
frikkin’ lame
*blush*
Winking dame.
Numbnuts!
*admires Moomin’s numbnuts*
Shrinking lame
I want to go back to the drinking game…
*shrug*
OK Judy.
*drums on table and shouts*
WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE GAME?
*votes for Kings*
*Votes for flip cup or beer pong*
Aha, what about the Withnail and I game?
I don’t recognize Withnail and I game.
My fave is Drinking Jenga.
♪ Beach blanket biiiiiiin-go ♪
It’s not the accomplishment that counts.
Oh, Target. How your lack of foresight amuses your employees…
And customers, for that matter.
Late, but this entirely. I felt a little sad when I came here to catch up on FailBlog recognized the label right away. It’s supposed to be my night off! Haha.
And there are a surprising number of good ones. What else is gonna keep you entertained stocking overnight though, eh?
The anagram of Desperate Ho is “Adept heroes” while the anagram for Desperate Housewives Season Five would be “A venerated, possessive housewife.”
In that case, it’s clearly a win.
[Darth Vader] Impressive. Most impressive. [/Darth Vader]
The anagram of “Darth Vader most impressive” is:
Master’s odd vampires thrive.’
I have never seen a human being who more perfectly represented the modern conception of a robot.
Who would pay $49.99 for the sh*t? How desperate can you be?
If you can buy this crap for 50 bucks without hurting your budget, you are not desperate for money. So that’s also a win.
You can say shit here, Leila. It’s allowed.
*pays 1,000 internets for collection of Richard Simmon’s Sweating To The Oldies Vol. 1*
shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
shit
shit
shit
shit*runsawaywithaquicknessneverbeforeseen*
*hides soap from Leila*
Something naughty, I’d ¡magine.
Ralphie did it!
Ralphie needs a good talking to.
Somewhere, Schwartz was getting his.
*hides wallet behind back*
Um… who said I was desperate?
*sneaks behind Gracie*
*takes wallet and puts it in purse*
*makes shopping list*
Be careful Gracie, I’ve had my wallet lifted on failblog. Now I’m working four jobs to keep up with my credit card payments and I’ve just been notified by the Teamsters I own them 34 years of back dues. They’ve also requested a meeting to help me work things out.
I don’t have credit cards, and if Leila writes a bunch of bad checks on my account I’ll just have to move in with her until everything is fixed.
*gives Leila a stern look*
*hopes she gets to go shopping with Leila, since she is apparently funding the spree*
You fund a river?
Someone should fund for some wheels. My car was stolen. We need to go to the mall.
Right now there’s not much funding in my wallet. If you give it back to me, though, I’ll drive us to the mall. I can probably afford to buy you an Orange Julius.
*shuffles feet / looks at the ground*
Okay … I promise never to steal your wallet again.
And I gave you that car back months ago!
Did not!!!
Hey, you should sell me your farm.
I think that pretty much sums up the show for me.
Is it that film about a desperate ho that uses 5 wives?
I’ll leave you now with this parting phobia:
Cypridophobia – fear of prostitutes.
Is there a fear of STD’s?
No. Prostitutes are professionals and therefore deemed the cleanest and most disease free.
More like:
MsSkratdaddyaphobia: Fear of MsSkratdaddy finding out Skratdaddy visited strippers/prostitute/massage parlor/nude beach.
Does it even need to be parodied?
*pays $49.99 to put DVD through industrial shredder*
Sorry to those who like it, but that made me feel a whole heap better!
*applauds k@*
*slips away to secretly check schedule for ’24′*
It’s been so long since I have watched ‘24’. I use to watch it back in college, but I always missed the last episodes of the seasons so I just gave up trying to watch it.
24 and the terminator one are the only shows I will follow. I did miss an episode here and there but it hasn’t stopped me.
The only show I watch is Biggest Loser. Other than that, we own a bunch of movies or play a video game.
Has the terminator been canceled?
I liked Summer Glau in it. I missed her from Firefly / Serenity.
I dislike 24. The subtext of the episodes I saw was “every muslim can be a terrorist and especially those who seem to be perfectly integrated ARE. Torturing is good. Human rights and international laws are for püssies.”
You just bursted my only bubble.
*sniff*
Besides, it’s not just muslims right? We have the Chinese, Russians, and Africans included in the mix.
*keeps crying*
Sorry.
Almost 1.700 comments! The religious discussion breaks every record on FB. I found a little gem. Check it out: ht tp://failblog.org/2010/01/06/field-trip-fail/#comment-737794
HA! Nice argument by abba there. I wonder what Brock’s “research” will turn up.
I was also noticing this morning that your experiment from yesterday didn’t seem to do much. I guess it’s the fail that draws them in rather than comments.
Apparently. But on the other hand the Obama-haters jumped out of the woodwork on the Top10-Fail, because Obama wasn’t on that list. Wasn’t really related to that fail…
OK, granted, it seems they’ll look for any thin excuse to come and troll.
The problem is everyone is so damn excited about writing their own damn opinions. Just shut up. Everyone disagrees. Move on, there’s nothing to see here.
Interesting how you make a comment that says how dumb it is to make a comment.
“Move on, there’s nothing to see here”… oh you are using a Jedi mind trick.
*waves hand*
These aren’t the trolls you’re looking for
Religious discussions – no win situation even on FB.
I disagree. I had a couple of very interesting religious discussions, even though I wasn’t persuaded and didn’t persuade. But still, they can be great exercise for the stuff between my ears.
I grew up celebrating/observing several religions. It can be a beautiful thing until someone adds the ugly in the mix.
*takes stuff between AE’s ears for a long jog by the lake*
Thus the reason I chose not to comment…always a hot topic…better to let sleeping dogs lie…
I don’t think dogs lie as much as cats do.
*squeezes favorite cow*
This is true…
*Leilasqueeze*
*nervously checks to see if any kitty friends are around*
I think we both may need to run away.
I saw what you did there.
:[
Quick this way!!
*hopes to find abandoned nuts*
Desperate hoes are using wives??? omg
if theyre really desperate, i can forgive them…
the real fail is that it costs nearly $50…
Well, they must be some desperate hos.
Its a epic win but u tin’t get it.
No, that’s a win xD
FAIL
The sad thing is this is from a Target store. I work at one, and am now interested on whether ours are like this also!
That would be from Target. Go Target.
DESPERATE HO appeared!
Use wives!
It’s super effective!
Gets hit on the head by a falling potato.
where can i find this item?…
I don’t think the title is a fail…. seems like a qualified, alternative name for it. The price, however, is a fail.
that was exactly what I was gonna say but you beat me to it
any1 cop the lack of copies on the shelf?
society fail?
Item Description WIN!
I don’t know if I’d call this a fail, the description sounds pretty accurate to me.
This picture is mis-labeled. It’s a win
Well, if they’re desperate, I guess I could allow it.
desperate housewifes?
more like item price fail.
That’s odd..I bought mine for $22.50.
still confused as to why this is a fail.
sometimes, children, shops sell tv series.
i know its a new concept but you’ll catch on
I don’t know, seems like a pretty accurate discription to me.
ha ha one time BF(before Failblog)i went to walmart and they had a merry christmas ho ho ho sign but the guy putting it up went on break so for like an hour and a half there was a big sign in the front of the store that said merry christmas ho
I agree. This doesn’t look like a fail to me. Item description WIN!
my thoughts exactly! =D
thts at target, there was a movie gone in 60 seconds and it said gone in 6
0 seconds
I work at a Target, and based on the numbers below the price I can confirm this is indeed a Target price label.
not a fail. win
Desperate
Yee I will bye it 
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