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Ice is currently not available due to freezing temperatures
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Picture by: @garrenkatz Submitted by: garrenkatz via Fail Uploader
A sign on an ice machine at a hotel in Anacortes, Washington
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Cheezburger Company Blog
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Ski trip is cancelled due to snow.
ice try
now your frost
*Freezes*
*puts the bukkit down*
Hoar!
*Please don’t be mad. I don’t really believe you’re cold*
The headlights never lie, Marius.
So she is frigid?
Naw, her icemaker is just stuck.
Stuck where?
The flagpole?
*fleesthreadwithaquickness*
miauw
Beach is closed do to large amount of sand.
Sea is closed while it dries.
Library is closed due to excess shushing.
Ski resort is closed due to excessive shooshing.
Wh0rehouse closed due to excessive douching.
*sends k@ to the naughty corner*
And no blogging while you’re there!
*stomps off*
Never apologize for douching!
Canada is closed until it gets warmer.
… and Candida awaits proper diagnosis.
Hahahaha! There’s a fungus among us indeed.
Long time no see Medica. How are you?
“We cannot provide sandwiches on this trip, due to a surplus of bread.”
Please don’t use the toilets, as they are very clean.
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.
You drink out of the toilet?
*Flushes*
*Blushes*
*Gushes*
Rushes
*Hushes*
*Mushes*
*crushes*
*Cusses*
%&*$)^&$%^#!one!111
*fusses*
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
*Lashes*
*bashes*
*mashes*
*stashes*
crashes
*fascist*
*applepie*
lunch canceled due to lots of food, wait no, god i am dumb, but i try hard, but i am dumb
sex is not available due to nudity
Push Scotsman for ice?
Good luck getting anything out of a Scotsman.
Hoy! (I got lots of pressies from mine!)
Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed?
I’m right on my uppers.
I can pay you back
When this postal order comes from Australia.
Honestly.
Hope the bladder trouble’s getting better.
Love, Ewan.
Maybe if you do it hard.
Wouldn’t that just lead to a continued hard situation?
Why’s everyone pushing me?
Could be worse.
*Poke*
:[
Could be raining.
*tickle*
:[
I like poking in the rain!
Wait…
LAST FAIL!!!
No, I’m sure the PTB will give us another one at 10:00 a.m. PST.
Put your beer outside
B-b-b-ut it’ll freeze out there!
Drink faster.
*puts straw in beer*
*suckswithaquickness*
OH, NOES! BRAIN FREEZE!
*passes out*
Oooo! My bad.
*Wraps LGB in warm blankets*
*Gives LGB Brandy*
*comes-to*
*blinks rapidly*
*realizes Marius gave her brandy instead of cognac*
*faints*
Hey! Brandy, she’s a fine girl.
*Runs off to find cognac*
She’d make a good wife.
*pretends to still be unconscious*
The act deserves some Armagnac LGB.
*Gives little sips until revived*
*comes-to*
*blinks rapidly*
Oh, thanks, Marius. Much better now.
*takes more sips*
*upends bottle into mouth*
*passes out again*
*Sighs*
How do Saint Bernards deal with this?
I doubt we really want to know, Marius?
Delivery of ice will be delayed due to inclement weather.
well you could always scrape it off the roads.
( gross, actually, don’t do that!)
Salty nuance with a touch of grit.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm
The essence of burnt rubber lets you know it’s quality.
And, if you’re lucky, you get a free fur hat!
…and squirrel burger meat.
Tastes just like. . .
*Chickens out*
Oh, you can do it, Marius. You’ve got lots of pluck.
I don’t think I can pullet off LGB.
Give it a (poul)try.
Lies, you can feather any storm!
I’ll never be down and out with guys around.
I knew you’d be able to pin it down.
I am always afraid of fowling up.
Naw, you’re just ducky!
Did you just call me a quack?
Not you, my fine-feathered friend.
Why did the road pizza cross the street?
It was free delivery?
It wanted to get flatter?
Why?
Why?
???
Safety?
OMG! Just tell us… why?!
OK, what’s all this then???
Has someone (besides Ms Skratdaddy) been eating squirrel???
*hides in corner, pulls on cat cammo*
Erm, no.
I would never eat squirrels, Skratty — only nuts.
*Hides hat*
Whew, I was a tad worried there.
*resists urge to ignore everyone*
*runs to another room for no reason*
Forgot I had this stuff on.
*removes cat cammo*
Is that… bad?
*gulp*
Thanks for the warning, Mary. We’ll keep that in mind.
In the meantime, please help yourself to some of this frozen water.
They didn’t have frozen water twenty years ago.
What is the world coming to?
Pretty soon, it’s just gonna be like living in city 17 my friend. Just wait.
People ofbthe 80′s didn’t have ice. They had hard rock concerts.
It’s progress! Next we’ll offer food heated and served hot!
NAPALM!!!!!
I love the smell of it in the morning!
They just re-discovered the secret recipe for ice.
Life will never be the same for this berg.
Don’t be so frigid.
*Chills out*
Works like ice and only 99 cents each.
^5 for the call back!
So, you can’t kill someone in the cold then?
You can, but then you can’t store them in the freezer.
You could always make the jerk jerky.
*gets out Ronco™ Food Dehydrator*
*sets on counter*
*plugs in*
*puts “meat” on trays*
*waits*
*waits*
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
*Smokes*
*Chokes*
*pokes*
*Jokes*
*Tokes*
zzzzz
Awesome. Bill Hicks quote in the title FTW!!!
Agreed, Janet! Just like Pro-lifers murdering doctors. HA HA HA.
Third that! Glad other people in our fading republics are keeping Hicks’s words alive out there…
I’m just glad others got that too…love it
would you like some epic with that fail?
OXY MORON! :p lol
I’ll take my epic on the side, please. Oh, and can you hold the moron? I’m trying to cut back.
But it’s only wafer thin?
LGB is NOT Mr Creosote!
*JaySensqueeze*
nice to see you!
i’m glad someone caught that! *SupaSqueeze* i can’t stay away from you guys, its like crack, only funnier!
…and you can’t go to jail!
*squeeziezJaySen*
I wouldn’t be so sure I’m illegal in 43 countries and two provinces….but we wont tell
*SqueezesLGBtillsheisliterallyblue*
..and less likely to end in death……except when you get zombified, but that is less of a problem these days!
Yea if this twilight crap keeps going Zombies will be sexy high schoolers with nice bodies too!
*hides -Wasting Away- behind her back*
*facepalm* oh boy….well to each his/her own I guess…I gotta hand it to em, the book and movie have made lotsomoney and completely changed fashion. Props
I WAS a glitter fan, but I can’t wear it out without bad visions happening in my brain, but any zombie film is a good zombie film!
I 100% agree. ZombieLand changed my life.
cool down the building! i want ice!
Wait, don’t we have to warm up the building for ice?
Of course this machine can’t provide ice due to freezing temperatures: why the hell would you want liquid ice?
*solid ice? Liquid ice is much more useful.
(posted too early with a mistake. Fail!)
*presses IgnoreButton™*
There, I can’t see it anymore.
Did that help?
What are you hiding from us K@?
No comment.
*Tosses K@ a mint Lifesaver*
I cant pull it on, it seems to be nailed to a jetty.
it’s a conspiracy!
Always.
Did you know that ducks are evil, and are infact the employers of the rich and famous, meaning that we worship thin people, and all wish to be thinner, thus they put into the minds of certain dieticians that carbohydrates are the reason we put on weight, meaning we cut bread from our diets, and feed it to the ducks. Meaning they are becoming well fed and oppulent, whilst we starve ourselves in the search for perfection……….they will take over soon, you mark my words.
*gets log book*
*marks-down k@’s words*
Damn, thats what she meant. *starts erasing marks from monitor* (note to self:write words down, do NOT mark them out) (note to self: stop talking to self) P.s. need milk…haven’t had my special pills today
*sits JaySen down*
*puts cold compress on his head*
*gives a shoulder massage*
…..and you are back in the room.
muuuch better, but i still need milk ha
Briefly explain what hard water is.
Is this a test?
*nuts-up*
*bites nails*
Someone say “nuts”??
Nuts and nails? That can be a good or bad thing, depending on how you party.
That’s how we
Keep it
in’!
Hard water has a high mineral content.
And it hurts when you jump in.
It is useful if you like to scale up things.
HOLA, Failpeeps! HI LGB!
Hey, everyone! Meet my daughter! She’s off from school this week for winter break!
*squeezesherbaby*
Awwwww
*squeeze*
Halloah! …and welcome
HIYA! if she is half as cool as her MOMMA then she is twice as cool as me! or something like that.
I think she’s pretty neat-o, myself, but I might be a lil’ prejudiced…
It’s like holding a Get Into
jailFailblog free card.10 minutes and she’s already knee deep in squeezes
S’nicey!
You’re very brave LGB.
How so, Scotty?
Hello Kat don’t forget to hit the books while you are at home.
She has been instructed to ignore you. Please do not reply to any of her posts, either on here or on LOLcats.
What ever.
No, it’s not what ever [sic]. Everyone, including her, knows about your racist remarks on LOLcats. You can’t hide your dark side.
This will be my last reply to you.
Oh so you can have the last reply but not me. Dark side ,well you have one too. You are are racist too.
Shut up!
Poodle, Mommy will take care of this. Please leave the blog. And remember what I told you.
You are are….
something
something
something
…. darkside
Now GO AWAY or I shall taunt you a SECOND time!!!
I fart in your general direction!
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!
Welcome!
*squeezeshermommyback*
Hiya!, Havin’ fun? Hello to all Failblogians!
*Waves hello*
Nice to meet you.
What’s up Kat??
*bigsqueezies*
Hello!
Nice to meet you too, Marius!!
Use the blue reply button, sweetie. This comment should be up there ^^, in reply to skratty.
Sorry, Marius’s comment.
*Waves around a bit more*
HIYA! I love your comment, Skratdaddy. I think you’re really funny!
*biggersqueezies*
*head asplodes*
*puts head together again (humpty dumpty like)* its ok, she will learn…just like me. all in good time
I must congratulate you, Jaysen, on your quick turnaround and integration into the community. Seems like only yesterday you very “respectfully” introduced yourself
*beams with pride*
I have to say i owe 100% to LGB and K@ and Shadow. They raised me to be who i am today haha
….I think that may have been the duct tape!
Duct tape, wooden spoons, and a few swift kicks in the rear.
*takes ‘kick me’ sign off Jaysen’s back*
why’s everybody always pickin on me?<—Reminds me of the movie "Jack" which i LOVED!
I may be slow but i’m a quick learner. Evolution has been kind to me. thank you
sometimes you gotta kill em with kindness you know, that’s exactly what i didn’t do upon my not so polite arrival…
Sometimes with kindness, sometimes with nunchucks, eh?
sometimes you gotta use the tools presented
Now, remember: Only use them for trolls. We don’t nom, nunchuck, or otherwise tear, spindle or mutilate our Fail Peeps.
oh man im cool on that, with great power comes some responsibility
…much.
*Supplies LGB with anti-asplosion helmet*
*hides from LGB while performing complicated reconstructive surgery*
*whacks second “LGB” out of post with hammer and replaces with “ZA”*
Tks, hope you’re enjoying the holidays.
Oh no! What did I do this time?
*bitesfingernailswithaperplexedlook*
you might be causing a paradox /slash/ tear in the time space continuum. nothing i can’t fix with my sweet set o’ nunchucks…
JaySen, rule 27.3
27.3. Never hit holes in time with nunchucks. No, not even shiny ones.
CRAP!!!! those pages stuck together in my book. thank TSM that i didn’t do it yet.
You’re dong just fine, pumpkin. Not to worry.
Oh,good. I was worried for a sec…
There ya’ go, sweetie!
*cowers*
KAT, use the shiny reply button —> that a way and down a bit
*squeezesJon*
Nice to see you!
How was your Christmas? Get anything good?
Well, post Birthday/Christmas I’m now fully equipped to do anything known to mankind.
Got a shiny new laptop, and an iPhone, though not much else.
*LittleBlueSqueezes*
Well, with those handy items, you could probably conquer the world!
Add to that list several rolls of duct tape, a tube of superglue and a mallet, and you have the universe at your feet.
I’ve had my suspicions about you, K@, and you just confirmed them.
*steals blueprints for duct tape laser*
*supplies Bond with jam trousers*
No Mr Jon I expect you to fry.
Sherioushly? But I’ve got gunsh and lashersh! And these troushersh, pressh a button, turnsh into jam!
don’t forget the bacon lube for those, er, tight situations….
Nope, can’t afford RISK™, and nor am I any good it.
Try Diplomacy™.
*Places a Foreign policy, 4 Politicians and two peace treaties on Korea*
*rolls a 1* DAMN! Nope, Diplomacy™ is not for me either.
WOW™?
I prefer my life real.
Sorry™?
Life ceREAL?
I presumed WOW™ stood for World of Warcraft, and so I hear, WoW life takes over real life and I thought maybe that..umm..
*runsawaywithaquickness*
Life Surreal?
Ok people who Invited Dali?
The Cubists.
I was under the Impressionism that was the case
no, it was us….. (note name)
One Monet, I’ll sort this out.
sorry, us was myself, Kenneth Noland, Clyfford Still and Mondrian
OF COURSE!!!
*acts like he know’s what is going on*
Ah, I see your point[illism] now!
OH YES!!
You invited that Dali fellow..
*Covers*
The blog is acting up again.
*smiles*
Thank you very much! I’m new.
*sniff*
*hands KAT tissue*
Don’t sniff, darling.
Oh. Right. I forgot. Sorry.
Its cool just wipe it on your sleeve, moms LOVE it when you do that!
Hey! I didn’t know that!! I’ll try it out!! Thx!!
naw, just find a cat. much softer
Oh. Good point! Here kitty, kitty, kitty!
Well, it was nice meeting everyone, but I have to go game now!
*squeeziesforeveryone*
TTFN
Bye, sweetie-pie. Love you!
*squeeze*
*kiss*
*chin-chuck*
ROFL, remember the pringles commercial where the guy was wiping his hands on the poodle from the greasy chips?….wow, that was a classic
poodle? wipey chips? commercial pringal?
como mucho
Believe it or not, this makes perfect sense. Ice machines use the temperature in the bin to sense when they’ve made enough ice and can shut off. If the ambient temperature is below freezing, the ice machine thinks it’s full and never starts making more ice.
what happens when the ice machine becomes self aware??
The Governor of California gets involved.
LMAO!!!!
What?
This unit’s icemaker has a remote (rooftop) condensor, which cannot operate below a certain temperature. Being on the roof, it is the _outside_ temperature that matters.
google “low ambient lockout” for more info.
Ah. I was thinking of the ice machine in the bar I work at. When it gets too cold in the basement we have to use our hands to warm up a wire in the bin to get it going again. Hotel ice machines are more sophisticated, I see.
Precisely. This is only a fail on the part of those who think it’s a fail.
ROFL! hiya failpeeps!!
ABSTRACT!!!!
*POUNCETACKLESKAWEEEEEEZE*
Where the devil have you been?!?!?!
Happy Holidays!
*smooch* the evil tyrants of the workplace have forbade internet usage…. Happy Holidays to you too!!
Bastards!
Thanks for putting your life in jeopardy for us. We appreciate it!
n/p love you guys!
OH!OH!
*raises hand flailing about wildly*
I forgot to ask. What is rule #34?
don’t talk about fight club?
Oh…
Reminds me of that global warming meeting in D.C. that was canceled due to snow.
Copenhagen conference will be postponed due to surplus of politicians
try reading the fine print on the bottom
Perhaps the water line is frozen due to freezing temperatures, thus rendering the machine useless? Or is it funnier to just suppose that the person who wrote the sign just willy-nilly posted nonsense?
Loving the Bill Hicks reference, he’s one of my idols ^^
Pro-lifers murdering people!
What? No snow! Damn weather prediction!
It’s not really a fail. It’s just ironic. The water pipes which fill up the freezer are just frozen so that water can’t come in.
There used to be a time when Failblog still was about real fails.
Today they are just posting funny pictures and put a FAIL stamp on it, even if no fail is involved at all as is the case here.
They could as well move to funnypics.org
Ice is prone to melt in freezing temperatures…
*sighs* okay…just give me some water. *puts the water outside for a few hours*
Epic irony! Ice is ALWAYS available at freezing temperatures!
(If you have an ice cream plant in the snow, you don’t have to buy a freezer!)
catch-22 win
you have no idea HOW many times THIS has happened to me! Just when I need ice the most too
-S. Crumbs
Sport Crumbs: All the Pics unFit to Print
This should be posted on Friends of Irony. Oh well…
I actually worked at a restaurant that encountered this very situation. If the Ice machine is located in a location that is in sub 32 degree tempts, IT WILL NOT WORK. I know, the Irony almost made by job as the bartender do-able. F(##@K!!!!!! I need ice.
I love you combitube man But you are full of you KNOW WHAT you little frick
That SnuggieGirl is all twisted. All she does is lay around in that snuggie of her’s and fill it with farts.
Truth be told I love snuggie girl, depite her gassous excapades.
Bottom line, Ice machines freeze and become unfunctional in sub freezing temperatures. Not a horibly difficult concept to grasp, maybe mr wizzard can do an episode, but trust us, it is a PAIN in arse when trying to make some dingle-berry a mojito in december. . . . . . . SMILE.
it’sa hoot…it’sa f*****g hoot…. classic.
not a fail
its so cold that the ice evaporates into crystals which gather at the top of the machine inside