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Cheezburger Network Blog
mmmm bacon
I don’t get it. Comprehension fail?
It’s hard to be a Jew at Christmas
Its hard to be a Jew at Chanukah.
It’s easy to be pork at Hanukkah.
It’s easy to be food at Ramadan.
During daylight hours.
It’s easy to get laid by Tiger Woods
No it isn’t and believe me I have tried my best
and WHO are you
my friends wont let me join in any games…
Pork is on the “do not eat” list if you keep kosher. In fact, I’ve met Jews who don’t keep full kosher (it’s very expensive to do so) but won’t eat pork products.
ANY practicing Jew will avoid all pork products, whether they keep strictly kosher or not. It’s the same with Muslims.
Keeping kosher is not really that expensive – many foods are marked with the kosher label these days.
Actually being kosher is quite at task… Your not allowed to mix meat and veggies when cooking. Infact u need to cook them in seperate ovens or stoves. As well as blessing and the over priced cost of a lot of kosher foods. As a reformed jew my self…
Lmao Christian jew. I threw all this out the window and eat back bacon with with my omlets (ham, cheese, onions, sausage, green pepper and mushrooms). But atleast I use kosher salt. Trying to keep it all in blance. 
P.S. Mix milk products with other food is also taboo. Such as the cheese in my omlete, lol even milk in my corn flakes. Are all sin full.
hey “cheezy-puff”
you are a douche – and i am not even an orthodox jew
you can mix milk with everything but meat and fish
seafood is not kosher
and you can mix veggies with everything
and what kind of name is “cheezy-puff”
you’re just a cheezy retard
A kosher person can cook meat with vegetables because vegetables are “parve,” which is sort of a neutral zone that includes eggs, fish, fruits, breads, and other stuff. A strictly kosher person could NOT cook meat with dairy, or use the same serving utensils, pots, pans, plates, or the same side of the table when eating meat and dairy.
well I guess my grand parents must be just pushing things farther to get closer to god…. but from what ur say is I still shouldn’t have a cheese burger. But I am still going to donald’s and I am still going to have 2. double cheese and bacon.;)
actually, prave means, “without dairy”
I don’t think your Jewish if you don’t even know the basics of kosher. I’m Jewish; I don’t keep kosher, but I know what kosher is. You CAN eat meat and veggies together. Furthermore, you can cook them together. What about latkes? You have to fry your latkes in schmaltz (as in, chicken fat) and that is perfectly kosher. Also, mixing milk and other foods is alright as long as that other food doesn’t happen to be meat. So, cheeseburger= not kosher. Milk in your corn flakes = perfectly kosher, as long as you’re using kosher milk (I believe corn flakes are kosher). So, if I had to make an educated guess, you’re not Jewish.
You’re right–the person has no idea what she’s talking about . Mashugina!
yeah cornflakes are kosher if they don’t have meat (blech)
With all due respect, someone can be very Jewish and very uneducated or improperly educated about dietary laws. This person indicated they learned what they learned from their grandparent’s practices so perhaps their grandparents were going “above and beyond” or simply misinformed.
I do take issue, though, with the wide-spread miss-information that Jesus some how canceled out the God-given laws. It just doesn’t make logical sense for a Christian to accept some of the Mosaic laws (that whole no-incest thing is still pretty darn embraced) but not other parts of the covenant (such as the not eating certain species and abstaining from blood. Notably, the command to abstain from blood is explicitly mentioned in the New Testament and as what gentile converts should do at that!)
Um, it’s meat and dairy products. There’s a lot of my kosher cookbooks that call for meat and veggies to be prepared together. And how about chicken soup with matzo balls? Chicken is a meat and the soup is FULL of veggies.
What a load of crap….
I know lots of ortherdox jews and reform jews… The reform jews don’t care, the ultra ortherdox ones are crazy and wouldn’t touch this in a milllion years. the other jews i know eat bacon, sea food and mix meats
Hanukah is a religious Jewish holiday commemorating the Jewish victory against Greeks and Hellenists (assimilated Jews who mostly emulated and supported the Greeks). The very point of the holiday is to commemorate the the victory of the religious Jews (one of the main events said to have initated the war was slaughter of a pig in the Jewish temple!) It is understandable that many Jews do not know about or choose not to keep kosher but to celebrate a holiday whose main essence is a (specifically) religious Jewish victory (The Greek ruler antiochus allowed the Jews to live, just not to keep kosher) is silly and ahistorical.
You have met nonreligious Jews that don’t keep full kosher
Religious Jews will not eat unkosher food
Jews can’t have pig; it’s like Hindus and them thinking that the cow is sacred. Which is why they don’t eat cow.
Except Jews don’t believe pigs are sacred. They believe they’re unclean.
Chanukah is a jewish holiday. Jews cant eat pork. Ham is pork. I’m having a late chanukah party today, it’s sad.
Pig flesh is not kosher, so conservative (masorti if you live outside the US), orthodox jews do not eat it, but reform Jews choose individually which mitzvot (commandments, for the non-hebrew speakers) to follow, and this part of the movement’s philosophy has gotten a lot of jokes to be made about them by conservative and orthodox.
Yes, comprehension fail.
It’s okay as long as you don’t cook for people who keep kosher.
Pork isn’t kosher, which is – simply put – the set of dietary laws Jews follow…are supposed to follow…
Mabe this will explain things:
1. They spelled Hanukkah wrong.
2. Jews don’t eat pork, since it’s considered
“unclean”. Another OXY MORON!
Live long and prosper.
Actually there is no right or wrong was to spell Hannukah with the English alphabet. (I’ve seen all of the following and more: Chanukah, Hanukkah, Chanuka, etc.) The correct spelling uses Hebrew letters and there are many accepted ways of writing it in English. The reason the first letter varies between the “H” and “Ch” is because the actual first letter sounds like something between the two and clearing your throat.
REFORM Jews, not REFORMED Jews. Wow. FAIL.
No, reformed as in ham (google it) – win
It’s yummy in my tummy
Also SECOND and THIRD !!
Tits
Fifth!!
It’s boneless, so it’s circumsized. Kosher!
*Cleans off monitor*
Boneless! I said a little off the top!
circumsized ham….. that does not sound very good….
If you sound a gong with it, it does.
The ЛВ sign after price means Leva – Bulgarian money. I suppose somebody just put the price label to show the price, because there is no much Jews in Bulgaria
.
Um, dude… That’s /LB… As in, price per pound.
Silly me thinking it was $6.29 /LB (where LB stands for Libra or Pound).
6.29!! That is not a deal!!
$6.29/lb! No self-respecting Jew would pay that price for ham – FAIL!
I thought the Л stood for pi. We’re supposed to calculate the ham’s circumference.
What for? Picking the right bone?
Funny, I didn’t know Iowa pork was shipped over to Bulgaria. Good to know we’re still exporting products.
Exactly, the first thing that I noticed was the Iowa part of the picture. I then noticed the sign that said “Delicious for Chanukah”. I have an Iowa radar, whenever someone mentions it on the news, I immediately get up and crowd the tv even if its something bad. That also is not a pi, pi is Ï€. I know it looks odd, but that is FailBlog’s fault, not Windows XP. FYI, alt + 227=pi. That is /LB. Dollars per pound-American! I don’t mean to take down other Iowans online (except for that one time on MLIA, which was an accident), but that is clearly in English and in the US-not Bulgaria.
Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s Belgian.
Are you a bit thick? The $ sign is right IN FRONT OF IT.
Here you go…..we have a winner
:) This is the only right answer, so far. Somebody just wanted to show off, but didn’t really know how. I mean…..some poor shopkeeper (in Bulgaria) wanted some more business, but didn’t know how to attract it.
i like boobs
me too.
I hate people that like boobs but i love boobs, its complicatid
and me. I love ‘em. Especially when they’re $6.29/LB
I like big butts and I cannot lie!
I like Bunchie
I like Munchie
im irish and i swear to god i know more about jews than most jewish people
Well, I’m Welsh and I swear to Hari Krishna that I know more about Irish people than most Irish people
Well, I am a Spaniard and I swear to fat smelly Santa that I know more about Welsh people than most sheep.
Well, I’m a Belgian and I swear to Manneken Pis that paella makes me fart.
Well I’m English and I just swear.
I’m portuguese… no swear!
I’m Austrian and I like the kangaroos in my front yard…i like em with Sauerkraut and beer!
Well, I’m German and I swear to Bismarck that I don’t know much.
Well I’m American and I swear to Obama that I never heard of any of those places you people come from.
Is American a continent? Or is that France? I know Europe is a country…
everyone knows europe is a country where everybody speaks french…
C*nt tree……???
I possess a copy of an old (boys’) high school hymn book in which, in the text of the old South African national anthem, the second letter is missing from “country”.
Lekke *giggles*
I’m Iowan and I’ve heard of everything mentioned here, even paella. We DO have the 3rd best education in the country.
The USS Iowa could beat the Bismarck hands down during WWII. The Iowa is still registered with the US Navy and the Bismarck was sunk by 1920’s era canvas biplanes. BURN!
Bismarck is the capital of North Dakota…or was it Hitler??
I’m danish, and I don’t give a crap! =D
constipated reference win!
Quick, get Meta a microwave!
… and a vending machine.
Now, where were we?
Happy Christmas all ye peeps. I hope
SatanSanta brings you all you ask for.*Christmassqueezesall*
Happy holidays for you and the other failpeeps. Santa won’t be bringing me what I asked for; KLM Airlines will do.
*squeezes*
*overexcitedchristmassqueeze*
Anyone else at work today? It may be rubbish, but at least we have a few other peeps to keep the mood up!
Oh, and happy porky chanukah, too!
Merry Christmas everyone! May you all have a pleasant day!
Happy Holidays!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
It’s a secret.
*raises hand*
I am at work too.
*sigh
Happy happy happy holidays to all!
*merrychristmassqueeestoall*
*triple checks date*
*is definitely not christmas yet*
*merrrychristmassqueezesanyway*
*goes to work on 12 days of Failblog song*
Ahah! The boss guys have decided it’s time to go the pub. Hurrah! So off I go to begin my holidays. EXCITED!!!
(feel about 7 years old again)
k@, fancy joining us for a pint?
I wish, I only just started.
Have an awesome time though!
Ah, to be seven again! First pint, first pipe.
Gomez: Come on, Old Man, I’ve smoked since I was five. Mother insisted.
I am working today. Just got here get to work4 1/2 hrs. then go home.
Happy, merry christmahanukwanzakah
(chris-muh-hah-nuh-kwan-zuh-kuh)
Haha I came up with that myself! lol
Live long and prosper.
Dude, if any body has seen the new star trek, let me know cuz Spock is my homebro!
Spock is awesome!! They have awesome Star Trek t-shirts at Hot Topic. (The hand thing for live long and prosper is totally Jewish.)
Merry Christmas everyone!
@ Jam: When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me.
And so it begins.
*Winces*
Happy Christmas to every one, Your all NUTS
Both of my nuts wish you a happy Christmas also.
I will make your nuts happy at Christmas.
*pulls nutcracker from holster*
I wouldn’t be so sure!
Would you like a sweet with that?
Happy X-mas ! Hail Satin !
Hail Silk!
Hali But!
See, it’s kosher because it’s in the shape of a dreidel.
Not in the shape of a clown’s face?
Ummm, wasn’t this done LAST YEAR? Failblog fail.
That Hanukah ham goes great with lobster and oyster.
This was a fail from last year. Not so much FAIL as STALE.
where’s Chanukah Zombie?
We’re not ReformED, like we were bad or something, we’re Reform. Also ham, mmmmm irony.
It’s Reform Jews, not Reformed.
Deformed Jews?? Uh, what a pitty…
That ain’t Kosher, dude!
firstly it’s hannukah.. secondly, jews don’t eat ham
Thirdly, there are a few spellings, all are correct. Forthly, the fact that they don’t eat ham is kinda the point of the fail.
Fifthly… again, it’s a repeat.
actually, its spelled chanukah, americans say hannukah. [: i am not a jew.
old fail is old
This.
This is really, really old. Failblogfail.
I second that. Seen it at least a year ago.
Happy Secular and Non-Denominational Holiday from the ACLU. Freedom from religion is what makes this country (USA) GREAT!
*sighs*
I can’t even keep up that level of sarcasm after two weeks of tongue in cheek Facebook statuses that no one gets. I’m a registered Democrat as of my 18th birthday, but even I think the ACLU is getting tiresome and maybe all cases by them should be thrown out by federal judges.
JEWS!
FTW!!!
Well in Australia we have all you people; Jews,Muslims, Christians… the lot.. and we all celebrate on the 25th of december cause we all get the day off work
now that is unity!
I’d “us” them down to maybe $3.50/lb.
Was that a Family Guy reference?
Gee I wonder what’s next? Beef for Hindus??
How come NO ONE even thought that it might have been turkey ham? I know some Mcdonalds sell Ham N Eggs with a Halal sticker on the box..so its not pork , yet still called ham.. =)
scratch the above post.. i just noticed the pig picture on the sign.. =/
I took that pic two years ago. The store is now out of business. Coincidence? You decide.
its hard to be a jew on christmas, my friends wont let me join in any game, and instead of eating ham i have to eat kosher latkes, instead of silent night im singing hoo hact do gaveesh, and what the f* is up with lighting all these f*ing candles tell me please.
even better at rammadan
^^