Psychic Fail
Psychic Fail
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*facepalmreads*
I knew you were going to say that!
I could have told you yesterday that you were going to say that.
I send myself a registered letter saying you were going to say that.
You want to go home and rethink your life.
Now see here…
see what?
see diss
the idiot with the gun has no gun.
from unforeseen sir cum stan sais
Did you say cum stain?
thats funny, i got one similar on my site
You are feeling very very sleepy. You want to make me a tasty sandwich.
*opens loaf of bread, gets out two slices*
*opens refrigerator door, looks for mayonnaise*
*kneels down to look waaaay back on bottom shelf*
*falls asleep*
*gets hit in head by refrigerator door*
Fluffy….
Why is the salad drawer snoring?
It’s the refrigerator from The Young Ones.
You mean SPG is in there?
*puts out folding chair and sits*
*waits for Judy or one of her minions*
I found this finger lying around. Oh, look! The perfect opportunity!
Hello MRN!
Stop it. kthanxbai.
I totally called that.
*gets E.T. finger from Judy’s stash*
*leaves note: “Needed on blog. Will bring back later.” – LGB*
*sneaks up behind MRN*
*POKE!*
*hits head on cheese drawer*
Yikes! I think the leftover pot roast is getting funcky!
I cant Believe you just quoted star wars 2.
( “you want to go home and rethink your life” )
No Death Sticks?
You want to go home and believe I quoted Star Wars.
Why not just send email?
I could have told you tomorrow that you had said that.
When will “then” be “now”?
It’s hard to say. It happens every now and then, though.
It happens every time.Now, sir.
Now, now.
Cabo Wabo with lime, no salt, please.
*looks at watch*
*waits for WN to appear*
The Cabo signal can’t be taking this long, surely?
I will totally take some cabo! Nothing like a shot of Cabo to start the morning, and they say I’m an alcoholic.
They?
*looks around in terror*
THEY the same they that said you shouldn’t walk uner a latter, or burn tires in your back yard, or walk naked through church. the all knowing, all seeing, but uncaring THEY! was that dramatic enough?
Absolutely not.
You’re not paranoid if /THEY/ really are after you.
I’ll take the death …
Soon! (that’s from “Spaceballs”)
“Soon”.
^ psychic fairyFairy nuff!
dammit i was gonna say that!!
We know, we know.
I thought she shaved? Oh wait… that’s an ‘n’
*runsawaywithaquickness*
*collars*
*spanks the naughty Jon*
I thought it was an ‘n’ too!
An ‘m’! An ‘m’!
HA a Fairy’s muff is somethin magical
I want my money back!
you feel it's psychic unfair?That might b (a ghost of) an idea.
Looking into your future, my child, I see unforeseen circumstances.
*screams* PARADOX
*gibbers rocking in the corner*
Well then, it’s a good thing we have this GibberishTranslator™, huh?
Flerks gggrb sggrb plagh slppppp, quack.
I can’t believe you said that!
You look very creepy, sir.
I can’t believe you said that!
With a melon?
Frrrrkkkal.
But I don’t want to!
*lip trembles*
*rptddyd*
I know, everyone keeps telling me.
*shakes head repeatedly*
I think you should read my last comment again Mr Dr Sir.
?
*TransAtlanticHolidaySqueezesk@&czuhc*
*hollydazereturnsqueezes*
*goes to zoo, jumps in gorilla cage and takes gorilla’s hand to do a giant facepalm*
If you foresee unforeseen circumstances, are they really unforeseen?
The futures too bright, I gotta wear shades.
Can’t we get past all this?
Only if you give us presents.
Luke, I have felt your presents.
Is it orange?
Orange you glad he went to Timbuk 3?Looking at the cake is like looking at the future, until you’ve tasted it what do you really know? And then, of course, it’s too late.
It’s all a lie.
Le Petit Mort?
Definitely should have seen that coming.*snork*
It had been a long time coming.
Pah!
And couting those coffins, it appears it was a ménage à trois.
a little death spiral♪ Well I'll be damnedHere comes your ghost again
I knew someone couldn’t resist commenting on it. Why do the french always equate sexuality with some form of death?
Because, well, have you ever seen someone die?
….ever heard of auto-erotic asphyxiation?
…or David Carradine?
Or given birth?
Or
Mick Hucknall*checks facts* Michael Hutchence.I have, and until now had not made that particular
visual connection. Thanks, K@, I’ll _not_ think of you
often since you’ve given me the gift of celibacy.
Sowwy, but it is true, and it is the reason for the name.
*hangs head in shame*
You’re psychic too?!
GUYS! GUYS! I FOUND ONE! ^
Me too. That’s why I didn’t buy tickets this year. I knew it wasn’t coming after all.
OT Alert:
For those cat-owners here (I would imagine there are a fair amount), I have a question:
Does your cat have a curious predilection for crawling over the presents around the tree, and forming his own little kitteh nest at that location? ‘Cause mine does.
That, and in past years an occasional running leap to see how high up the tree she can go.
Ah, we have 4 cats. 2 of them make nests in the presents, one just lays on top of the aquarium and dreams of sushi, and the last one pretends not to care one way or the other.
Of course, one of the 3 dogs removes the non glass ornaments and uses them as chew toys. The other 2 just encourage him.
The turtle longs for the great outdoors and doesn’t even know we have a tree.
Anything new in the house must be fully investigated. Once the investigation is complete, I don’t know what determines whether something is deemed “ok as is” or “must be vanquished at all costs.” Luckily, once the presents are sniffed, they’re usually deemed “ok as is.”
Ours all seem to take turns hiding under the tree. Sometimes it’s a launching pad for the “startle passers-by” game. Other times, it’s just a safe hidey-hole. One in particular likes to batbatbat toys under the tree, then chasechasechase them around under the tree. He even occasionally leaves the lights plugged in when he’s done playing. Occasionally.
Given the range of our usual discussions, wouldn’t it make more sense for folks to give an ON topic Alert?
Ummm.. what exactly would be an ON topic discussion here?
Yes.
OT Alert:
For those cat-owners here (I would !magine there are a fair amount), I have a question:
Does your cat have a curious predilection for crawling over the presents around the tree, and forming his own little kitteh nest at that location?
‘Cause mine does.
sorry, my cats an outdoor cat. He Peed on the rug while my mom was Pregnant with her 4th daughter. guess how that went!
*hint: kicked like a soccer ball*
my cat enjoys both to make a nest under the Christmas tree and to pee in the house (usually in the near vicinity of its nest)
One would think he’d be happy since you ate the dog. Cats!
My cats have passed on, but I had one that was terrified of the tree. He would walk around and around the tree, but not underneath it. Didn’t play with the ornaments. Didn’t batbatbat at anything. But he would sit in front of the tree and stare like it was going to take a flying leap. If you tapped Tiger on the back while he was staring at the tree, you could get a good 4 feet of space between him and whatever he was resting on at the time.
That just made them jealous.
My cat will sleep on anything.
He tried the presents once but we have a rug and a fire right next to them so… no contest.
Mewtwo is a psychic Pokemon.
Water is wet. The sun is hot.
Not the only things hot and wet!
missdiz!
I can start over.
I should hope so.
*sneaks up with camcorder*
*needs to make some extra xmas cash*
But is water actually wet or does it just make other things wet? If you add more water to water does it get wetter or do you just have more water? Makes you question life, doesn’t it?
I should hope so.
Little Girl Blue >ZAP!< Dot Org
December 23, 2009 at 8:41 am
I should hope so.
Freyja
December 23, 2009 at 8:58 am
I should hope so.
*head asplodes*
OMG…..nobody put “first” or “first comment” at the top of the post
but of course someone will immediately put something relating to it in reply to this comment….or nobody will just to prove me wrong…either way i’m right.
NOT LAST COMMENT :p
touche
*wishing he hadn’t overlooked other possibilities*
I like turtles.
OMG!!!1!!! It’s totally shopped! Look at the pixels!!!!eleventy!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry, MsB, but that comment is totally ‘shopped. It’s obvious you just took one exclamation point and cloned it over and over.
And besides, there’s no shadows! If it were real, it would leave a shadow! DUH!!!
*nods head vigorously*
I know! Also, that comment could HURT somebody! Look how sharp it is! Why, I wouldn’t let MY daughter play with anything like that. What is Ms B thinking posting something like that?!?
This is real. This place is down the street from my house and I saw this sign when I was doing some Xmas shopping. It’s a joke, of course.
And an old joke at that.
Well, you know what they say: An old joke’s better than no joke at all.
How creative of Failblog…
We voted it in for some reason.
No, we did that ’cause he’s black.
Hey, man, it’s the holidays. This isn’t a time for hate. Let’s keep it kind, now.
*waves slightly dusty “Change” Flag*
*still dreamin’ of a mixed race christmas*
Just wait for this one to be plagiarized on It Made My Day (moments of WIN)
*waits*
Made my day? This could end up being my day…
Carpe diem.
♫ It’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away ♫
*coast2coastholidaysqueeze*
Could not think of one stinkin’ song with the word “day” in it… Do I need more coffee?
I seldom agree to use the word “need” to refer to material things… but for coffee, I make an exception. I need s’more too.
Coffee and s’mores? Sounds yummy!
With nuts????
Yer nuts are safe, sweetie skratty.
all i can say to all of this is: gibba gab…
That’s it? That’s all? That’s what I get for waiting around all day waiting for you to comment? Ah, nuts!
*walks off, kicking rocks*
Why kick ‘em when you can skip ‘em?
*attempts to skip a rock*
*PLUNK!*
*walks off, kicking rocks*
i am a man of few words, yet precise and to the point.
tl;dr.
*runsawaywithaquickness*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FLUFFY!!!!!!!!
Here, I brought cake!
fluffy birthday?
♪ Happy Berfday To You ♫
♪ Happy Berfday To You ♫
♪ Happy Berfday Dear Witto Fish-y ♫
♪ Happy Berfday To You ♫
Two more days, no?
Until?
…the earth explodes?
…I wear shoes again?
…the trash cans go out?
What? What?
…until Fluffy’s b’day
fluffy’s b-day is on x-mas? Nu-uh!
Yuh-huh!
Shway?!
Fur-shur.
Toadally?
Yarly!
But you see, I am not going to be around her that day, so it’s time to celebrate her birthday today when I am here.
*throws confetti anyway*
Huh, what? How did I miss that?
*sings with warm bariton*
For she’s a jolly good Fluffy
For she’s a jolly good Fluffy…
*in harmony*
For she’s a jolly good Fluff-eeeee…
The best fishy ever, that’s right.
There may be other fish in the ocean, but I doubt any of them have quite as much style as you, Fluffers.
*happy birthday squeeze*
Happy burfday Fluffy.
I never saw that coming!
This is actually one of the oldest jokes in existence … seriously, the quality of these ‘fails’ is really dropping.
My deepest apologies. I’ll get right on that.
t
Double fail because they spelled “CANCELED” wrong
*gets on soapbox*
Actually, it can be spelled both ways.
*gets off soapbox*
(double fail because you spelled soapdish wrong x2)Oh good grief
Kinda like how they always ask for your name when you call a psychic hotling. 9_9
Incidentally, “le petit mort” is the french phrase for orgasm. Sounds like these psychics are a class act all the way.
incidentally that's already been pointed out, but maybe your psychic powers just don't extend to seeing what happened an hour agoYou psychic hotling.
You hotlink to a bucklingReally? Then maybe you can explain to me why when you search the word “orgasm” on this page, my post is the first instance, and the only other is a post made AFTER mine?
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/12/23/psychic-fail-2/#comment-723666
Okay. I’ve have just one question: What’s a hotling?
Massage parlour?
A little hot?
I see a little silhouetto of a man.
It must Galileo or maybe Figaro. *shrugs*
Figaaro… FigaroFigaroFigaroFigaroFigaroFigaroFigaroFigaroFigaroFigarooo…
Stevens..WenttothepubWenttothepubWenttothepubFigaroStevensWenttothepub and read a french newspaper…
This is not a fail. There is a huge difference between a psychic and a precog. This is a fail blog fail.
…tell that to Tom Cruise.
Help me Tom Cruise, use your black magic
The restaurant name is FTW. Customers must come from all over.
"asks for a cork screw and gets sommelier*Better than having to pull your own.
good things come to those who pull their waiter aroundHave you been serviced?
the truly funny part is the name on the top of the sign. Le Petit Mort, while technically translates to the tiny death, in french it is slang for orgasm.
No way!?
*PounceTackleSqueezesAllFailppeps!!!!!* I needed to get that out of my system.
Can’t spend much time here today but in case I do not return, I wish you ALL a very Merry Christmas. Be safe and enjoy your families – no matter how some of them drive us nuts!!!!
*SpecialBirthdaySqueezeForFluffy* In case you see this, Happy Birthday / Buon Compleanno!!!
buon Natale e tanti auguri, caraTi sei dimenticato di dirmi Felice Anno Nuovo.
Quando ti dico "tanti," vuol' dire tutte le cose felici, in tutti gli anni, in tuttii i mondi ... pure Texas.
*PounceTackleSqueezesLeila*
The Failpep squad?
*shakes pompoms*
Ra! Ra! Ree!
Kick ‘em in the knee!
Ra! Ra! Rass!
Kick ‘em in the…other knee!
I wasn’t aware that humans had another knee in that particular location.
*sweeps misspelled word under a rug*
“PounceTackleSqueezes for all” who, Leila?
*Squeeze*
Merry Christmas Leila. Enjoy!
*scratches GS’s head*
*kicks leg in time with scratches*
*bigsquishyholidaysqueezes*
I hope your Christmas is a heck of a lot less insane than mine is already turning out to be!
Remember to be careful when roasting your nuts!!! SAFETY 3rd!
*holidaysqueeziesallaround*
Some say that ESP can neither be proven nor disproven. I try not to have an opinion on the matter myself. Mostly because I can’t really distinguish between the impressions that the words convey and the words themselves. I think people who are insistent that they can might not be entirely honest with themselves. Oh yeah… Happy Holiday(s)!
I’ve just gone crosseyed….
Lemme summarize for you.
Some say that ESP may or may not be real. I have no opinion. I have no opinion again, but this time I’m saying it in a different way. Again, I have no opinion on the matter. Happy holidays.
whew, much better
All the cliches crawl out of the Olde Booke of Ye Jokes.
“I knew you were going to say that!”
“Should’ve seen that coming!”
Erm, that’s it.
*sigh*
Cheer up, Little Bear. These clichés are just a drop in the bucket, compared to what we normally do. On most days, one person says a cliché, just ’cause he wants to think outside the box, and… well, y’know: monkey see, monkey do. From there, it just because an uphill battle to get us to stop. I mean, you seriously can’t get a word in edgewise. So it’s no use crying over spilled milk.
^5.
Unfortunately, this one is a joke. “Le Petit Mort” is a store in a well-known “edgy” shopping district in Atlanta… a lot of the businesses around there put funny things on their signs. Alas!
and the truth shall set your freeeee
because your free really needed to be set. its annoying when it flashes 12:00 all day
ugh, typo’s with be the detdh of me…..
U cud tray ah spilling chequer.
I think this place was closed because the psychics saw the “unforeseen” consequences before they happened, so they decided to shut down.
Oh sorry, circumstances.
I was thinking of Half-Life
Me too! Then I remembered that it wasn’t “circumstances” -_-
You mean “Consequences” lol
They meant to put a funny sign. This don’t count.
rise and shine mr freeman…
Thank you very nice sharing
Prepare for unforeseen consequences………
unforeseen consequences…
yeah
James Randi showed up
oh jeez… that sign is in the neighborhood that i work in, outside a store called “le petit mort”.. it’s just a boutique, they sell purses and jewelry. they wrote that sign as a joke. i thought it was dumb. i can’t believe it made it to failblog hahaha
More like…
“Nobody Believed This Crap Was Real Anyways” Win!!!
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Wow. What a small world. My boyfriend and I know the guys who run this place and they always have some odd bit written on the board outside. Will have to tell them that the store has now acquired temporary internet fame. Lolz.
ehmm… if noone says it, i will.
prepare for unforseen consequenses…
hahah!
le petit mort means the little death in english
And that actually translates to orgasm. Win.
can we please save failblog for actual fails, and not dumb shit like this. This joke (psychic show/fair cancelled from unforseen circumstances) is from a Rodney Dangerfield bit. Someone just sharpied it on a sign. Not hard or intelligent
I like this sign.
We’re going to be headcrab zombies. lol
I don’t know if this was intentional, but the name of the place that is holding the event is what they call an orgasm in french
I was wondering if I was the only one that noticed that haha!
That was definetly a joke that the robot in your house in Megaton in Fallout 3 said.
Put whatever you want on a board and take a picture for Failblog. Everyone who is desperate for attention is doing. Looking fake don’t matter.
sounds like someone is a proclaimed psychic and can’t stand it when others point out their falseness..
that’s in Little 5 Points in Atlanta, GA!!!! Le Petit Mort does indeed mean “An Orgasm” though it translates “the little death”.
EpIc FAIL
“Le Petit Mort” at the top of the sign is a french euphamism for an orgasm. Makes me wonder if its the specialty of these psychics and where can I buy a ticket?
You’re right Kake & wes… but in french you do not say “le Petit Mort” but “la petite mort” = the little death = orgasm.
If “le Petit Mort” is written this way unpurpose, it might be because they simply meant “the little dead”.
And seeing that this is a gothic store, with a coffing as signboard… I would go for option 2, simply “the little dead”.
I know exactly where this sign is. I took the same picture in December.
^__^
Gman was there! D:
We all have a third eye, the question is whether or not yours is active. Generally if it is third-eye psychic ability there is a buzzing sensation just between and above the eyes, but not all psychic impressions come in through the third eye.