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Have YOU stopped beating your wife?When did you stop beating your wife?
When the eggs ran out.
When did you stopped beating his wife?
I imagine he batters fish and whips cream too.
Cody made this up on yahoo! to troll for attention
This gives a new meaning to how much metaphors can ruin lives.
gay isn’t an insult, you punk bitch.
@your mom Punk isn’t an insult either, dumbass…
a win for ummm…
Punk AND gay may or may not be insults, it is all relative…idiot
All insults are only insulting if you don’t want to be what they accuse you of being. Therefore no ‘insults’ are actually insults. They’re accusations. If you can find something that none of the 6 and a bit billion people (many of which can in fact be described as gay, punk, bitch and/ or idiot) are not, and do not wish to be, THEN you have a real insult.
And get your own name. A second, lower quality version of me is not your own name.
I like you
youre gay! gay! gay! gay! gay!
1. I’m a girl, so technically I can’t be gay.
2. I find it hard to take somebody who has no understanding of capital letters or apostrophes seriously.
3. Don’t you have homework to do or something?
YOU’RE right ummm…, this sonofabitch needs to do some goddamn grammar homework.
Sure it is.
are you an equals three watcher???
You spelled ‘fail’ incorrectly. It is NOT spelled FALE.
So to you sir/ma’am/chicken/hermaphroditic frog, i give a FAIL
Furthermore GAY IS NOT AN INSULT.
Jackass
He also Beats Meat.
I expect he batters fish and whips cream too.
Not the cream
!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
When she became 15 and started to hit back…
Yes, just after I started to beat your wife.
*cries*
Ooh babe! Don’t leave me now!
haha The Wall rules
who would stop beating their wife? jk jk jk wife beating is bad
We stopped beating her at chess
Is the chess the one with the small horses?
This was so win. I mean the commenter called out fb!
wth failer’s
When I read it, I knew where it was going.
i just wanted to be 2nd
More of a comment than a wish?
The truth will set ya free!
♫ When you wish upon a Moomin…♫
♪ Oh, I wonder, should I let her be the winner?
I keep beating her at chess convincing-ly…
But if I were to let her be the winner,
She’ll once again be in love with me… ♪
Sounds like a final fantasy.Perhaps number thirteen?
Hmmm Stalemate.
Perhaps if he showered?
Someone should suggest that gambit en passant.
It’s a parable of his luck in the bedroom. His wife has lost her passion and he’s unhappy that she will no longer “beat” him.
Up or down.
I think he tries to show her how, but being so good at it himself, she has lost interest.
Perhaps he should try one night in Bangkok?
The world’s his oyster.
Now that’s what I call a decked mate.
That would be if they were playing cards.
52 pick-up?
*Hits the deck*
I’m sure you’re an ace at that, Marius.
ace of hearts?
♫ The Ace of Spades
The Ace of Spades!♪
♪ But that’s not the shape of my heart ♪
♫ It was the ruby that she wore, on the chain around her neck, in the shape of a heart, in the shape of a heart. ♪
The ace is fine, but playing with the queen of hearts isn’t very smart.
*Enjoys head firmly on shoulders, thanks muchly*
I see the joker ain’t the only fool.
But he really likes her peaches. And wants to shake her tree.
Underneath the strobe light?
♫ You gotta know when to hold ‘em,
Know when to fold ‘em,
Know when to walk away,
Know when to run. ♫
Sprints
wait for it
off with your head!
I wonder if his wife's name is Audi.Don’t know; but he’s clearly some kind of pawn star.
He shouldn’t see things so black and white.
Yes – no wonder she’s board.
In soviet russia, wife beats you!
in Soviet Russia, stupid comment posts you!
awww…
It’s Christmas week everybuddy! The Donkey has brought warm banana bread, and cinnamon tea, and hot chocolate with whippy cream.
Have some breakfast and watch Snoopy with me, y’all:
♥ ♥
*holds down skirt* Stop snooping, Marius! *huggies!*
Hee!
I can’t help it, I have a busybody.
*Depends on huggies squeeze*
If we said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against us?
Wassup Dawg!
*chews bling carrot*
Halla back K@!
*Raps three times on the failblog ceiling*
jiggedy jig, ee-aw ee-aw,
It’s Dominic the donkey
That song featured in Riding In Cars With Boys
)
(starring Brittany Murphy
I know…so sad…
chess is good
I think everyone is overlooking the fact that Cody is obviously psychic.
I knew you were going to say that.
I knew you were going to know that.
I knew I was going to post this.
I know I am going to go postal………at some point…..later.
Can you mail this package for me? Thanks.
I’ve got a couple extra Christmas stamps you can use.
You are first class Ms B.
She certainly has a special delivery.
To the private bag?
I’m just trying to be the complete package.
Do you have your Priority Male to attend to your shipping needs?
If she hasn’t, I’m sure he can come in a Jiffy.
*flees*
That’s a first class pun, Jam!
Oh, thanks. Now I’ve got the fluffernutter song on my brain.
You do, by thinking outside the box.
I know nothing! – Sgt Schultze
I predicted you would all be here to write all of these messages.
My head hurts.
Drink a fifth and call me in the morning.
If only!
Nope. Sounds like she deserves it.
she’s probably blonde
Is your name a BNL reference?
BNL wtf? i’m not american, i’m brazilian
Banal comment *yawn*
Banal sex bore you too, Dilly?
To tears.
I think it’s supposed to hurt.
If it’s tearing you’re going too fast.
poo poo pee doop, dooo!
I wasn’t talking to you.
I was talking to Jane St. Clair.
Pay attention.
Why would you take that tone with me?
*gets out ruler*
Moomin, don’t make me…
Doitdoitdoit. He’ll pretend it hurts but it’ll feel soooo good.
And while you’re on, measure him up for size.
You’ll need a micrometer
Don’t start that with me, you naughty!
Jinx
Hehehehe
*K@squeeze*
*jamsqueeze*
Ohhhh sticky!
Sorry about that, I creamed myself. *shrugs*
Must have been after seeing the Moomin beaten.
Brandy?
Yus yus *rubs legs*
Nothing like a bit of whipped up mallow. nomnom
Er… there’s some moomin mallow on your chin there, jam…
I’m saving that bit for later, I won’t get second helpings.
Fear not Jam . . .
♫ It’s a marshmallow world in the winter . . ♫
Doit doit doit doit doit doit doit
*cough
Sorry I don’t know quite what happened there.
Is that… drool?
*looks through bag for a tissue to save k@’s dignity*
Me, dignity?
Nah, I left that behind with my pants!
THAT’S what that stain was!
I’ll get some cilit bang on that.
*clit bangs*
Oh wait… sorry!
*snork*
Barry Scott gets you hot?
Sometimes he rubs too hard and the friction makes sparks.
How can friction cause a band to come into being?
I’m pretty sure with an industrial sander and some blocks of wood, we could make a functional imitation of The Jonas Brothers.
Yes. ^_^
I have a czech mate too.
An Equal Opportunity Lover, then? Good for you, K@.
One tries one’s best
On this PC quest.
Cody can predict the future?!?!?!?! We have to get our hands on him!
*starts touching Cody*
Hands where we can see ‘em!
*starts touching RetroPRO*
He’ll be able to let us know which fails are full of trolls, and we can avoid them better!
VVV too late.
Oh well…it was a thought…
And it’s the thought that counts.
*counts the thoughts*
You’re short by 15 thoughts. Get back to work!
I heard someone say:”Colect me some thought or you’ll get fired”
*Calls thought poice*
Is that an 1maginary poice?
14 thoughts to go.
What would happen if pinnochio said his nose was going to grow?
13 more, failpeeps!
How confused is a trifle?
What would happen if we put the world in a giant toaster?
If you dropped a plugged in toaster in the sea, would you electrocute every marine animal ever?
Where in the world IS Carmen Sandiego?
Do whales fart?
11th to go…Go failpeeps…Go!
If you don’t eat jellybabies, do they grow up?
Why isn’t the Ottoman Empire full of furniture?
Who put the “spring” in Springfield?
Who shot J R Ewing?
The chicken. Bobby was choking him and… well, it’s a long story.
@ Moomin- they become Jellyteens.
Then they get Emo and dress all in liquorice, then kill themselves.
Would a jellyfish explode if you fed it jelly?
Who opened the racist door?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Is the decline in literacy standards directly related to the letters being removed from the lids of smarties tubes?
Why is it that I can’t finish se
Whay do they say cows “muu”…when all i hear is «yabha yabha»?
Is it true that I am pink therefore I am Spam™…..or is that a lie?
If there’s no place like home, why go on holiday?
Is it true I can get pregnant by having sex?
If the cake is a lie would anyone mind if I lie in it?
If you don’t mind my asking, where’s your bathroom?
Why are we still going past 15 thoughts?
I do not say yabha yabha!
@Marius:
Don’t you think we should pay in advance for next time the thought poice come knocking?
Is A1 a black or a white square?
A1 is a BBQ sauce. Now available in multiple flavors!
15th!!!!!!!!!!!
No, it’s the 21st. You must have blacked out.
This is the kind of guy that thinks that Jecht is Hot, and yuna is a bitch
yuna matata?
What a wonderful phrase!
fake.
No woman will marry a professional chess player.
lol
Not professional……Solid.
Hyperbolism WIN.
(Meaning of ‘beating’ exaggerated way off.)
Did you say ‘beating off’?
Can’t the baboon see that his wife doesn’t like chess? Why is he even forcing her to learn?
Oh, the humanity!
Oook?
the librarian is a chess pro, too?
SQUEAK.
Book ‘em, phobos!
Would this be Kasparov’s?
are you fisch-er-ing for a clever reply?
I wouldn’t Karp-ov if I got one.
I thought he ment beat his wife physically…
ment-o
Fresh and full of life!
ROFL.. Answer: WIN..
I have an OT fail for you guys, from my latest science paper, My tutor had shortened the words analysis & interpretation to anal/inter
Not what you want to read when you recieve an essay back!
I think your tutor wants to teach you some new tricks. Now, bend over and pick up your pencil!
Will she get F if she doesn’t?
I think she’ll get F-ed either way.
I spy with my little eye something that has minimal staining. . .
It’s practically new! What a find!
*Lets Mookie pick it up*
*Grasps mistake and runs like heck*
Your eye won’t be so little after that…
So she’d be MookIe?
Not something I wanted to read ever!
Well, if you want that A, you need to work a little…
No such thing as an A!
Only an F-word!
If your papers say sex:F , then it’s too hard for you.
I thought only people who are sex: M get hard?
It’s the sex:U, you have to worry about.
What if it’s sex: no?
Then you’re probably married.
Then you’re doing it wrong.
… or you’re no longer living.
*sighs*
*wishes that were the reason*
Then at least the papers won’t stick together.
And padding your essay would help in this situation.
I’m disappointed you’re not inter anal K@, and after your friend offered you bleaching too.
If you bleach, how can he tell where to aim?
If you don’t wash the bleach off, it’ll be by the burning sensation.
No pain no gain.
I thought back door entry was to prevent gains?
You certainly gain a reputation.
…and incontinence.
This is why I stab myself when gambling, it increases the odds of winning.
Does it count if it’s the oponent stabs you??
*stabbing
I don’t think aces and eights are worth it Moomin.
*wipes coffee off monitor*
Maybe you need a tutor?
Just be alert for… violent tendencies.
..and violet tendancies, they lilac anything, then leave you marooned.
orange you glad nothing was said about tulips?
two lips? which ones?
*looks down*
Ms Scarlet?
But why would you want to!
(except to save money on electrical equipment)
It’s my work computer, so at least it’s not my money I’m spending.
Bonus!
*hands Gracie another coffee*
Woot! Thanks.
*squeezes K@*
Learning is for kids…
and sometimes for silly gracies.
Psychic prediction answer win!
Uhh no… Set up! No Win, No Fail, FAKE!
We need to create a FailBlog’s Hospital!
We have one.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/12/01/hospital-sign-fail/
Shadow win lol
He shouldn’t be so hard on her, she’s only a rook(ie)
He should probably bash his bishop you mean?
But his bishop pawned everything.
….last knight.
At least he’s still the king of his castle.
… that’s not what she said.
He’s always the one with the most pawn(s) at the end.
Could’ve worded that better.
Maybe she’s found his pawn stash?
I read that as prawn *facepalm*
k@, that’s so much better than anything I had to say on the subject.
And it would make a brilliant argument.
“You’re always so shellfish!”
Maybe you could start a crays?
*angles for the door*
This thread is getting fishy
That would be quite kingly of him.
poor, not funny
neither funny nor poor cuz everybody knows that only the rich play chess.
Cody for the Win.
I call that an “Answer Win”!
+6
The top may be fail, but the bottom is ALL WIN.
22 years old and married? now that’s a fail.
So in your mind what is the correct age at which to get hitched?
42.
That’s your answer to everything.
Wait, wait, wait…someone married a chess player???
this IS a FAIL if only for the fact that the person who wrote the comment submitted it himself. LAME and unfunny.
concured.
[bonus thought]
Why are there seven identical pictures on the vote page?
The Dwarves did it, to get back at Snow White.
I were you, FFX, I would stop playing your wife in chess altogether and find a group activity to renew her passion for you.
chess player question FAIL… cody’s answer WIN
NEXT TIME U PLAY CHESS WITH YR WIFE,
SET-UP ONLY 4 CHESS-PIECEs:
THE BLACK KING + THE WHITE KING + A WHITE BISHOP + A WHITE KNIGHT … NOW, YOU TRY TO CHECK-MATE HER, USE-ING ONLY THOSE 3 PIECEs … IT’s ACTUAL-LY A GOOD-GAME + A GOOD CHESS-LESSON,
AS IT’s NOT AN EASY TASK FOR MANY AVERAGE CHESS-PLAYERs !!
ALTERNATE-LY, OF COURSE, SHE CAN TRY TO CHECK-MATE YOU …..
SINCERE-LY, MARK “TRUTH-SEEKER” CREEK-WATER
BERKELEY-CALIFORNIA-USA
PLEASE DELETE THIS ONE, AS IT’s A DUPLICATE !!
—–MARK CREEK-WATER
OMG look a lower case letter! :O
NEXT TIME WHEN U PLAY CHESS WITH YR WIFE,
SET-UP ONLY 4 CHESS-PIECEs:
THE BLACK KING + THE WHITE KING + A WHITE BISHOP + A WHITE KNIGHT … NOW, YOU TRY TO CHECK-MATE HER, USE-ING ONLY THOSE 3 PIECEs … IT’s ACTUAL-LY A GOOD-GAME + A GOOD CHESS-LESSON,
AS IT’s NOT AN EASY TASK FOR MANY AVERAGE CHESS-PLAYERs !!
ALTERNATE-LY, OF COURSE, SHE CAN TRY TO CHECK-MATE YOU …..
SINCERE-LY, MARK “TRUTH-SEEKER” CREEK-WATER
BERKELEY-CALIFORNIA-USA
Oh my gosh, there’s a Caps Lock, but no Caps Unlock! Mr Creek-Water is stuck in SHOUT MODE!
hmm, big fan of the caps lock key, much?
how about a DASH of lowercase letters?
|the kid|
No Never stop beating your wife!! It’s her fault she keeps getting beaten anyway!!
fine fine fine
> Should I stop beating my wife?
Dude, I think you misspelled “imaginary wife”…
Keep beating her, she will only learn this way
Ca touche…ca touche pas.
merde,if u wanna renew her passion,just stop playing chess with her. just give her a good shag. and both of u will feel better xD
This is one of those things that just came out wrong, very wrong. lol.
Honestly when I read the question’s title, I was like, “Man this is terrible!” Then I started reading about the chess, and went started thinking why would he beat his wife over chess. Then by the end I was like, “Oooooohhhhhhh.” It was hilarious though, I must admit.
I’m ashamed a Final Fantasy fan would think this title is fine. After the crappy translations in the first 7 games, and the amount of bitching about it you’d think they’d be careful themselves. THIS GUY ARE SICK! Are he really? [/gets back to playing FFIX]
Final Fantasy ftw?
ok so obviously the titltes the fail. but did u read this. his life is a epic fail. howd he get a wife anyway? impressed her by beating a guy at chess?
well thats just a major fail…… of course u should stop BEATING ur WIFE!
well thats just a major fail…… i feel bad for the wife…
Married at 22 and playing chess with his wife… wow THAT’s a fun life
Exactly… T_T
People only have one hobby? That’s news to me.
Cody shame on you, stop beating your wife, pick a woman your own size.
Checkmate.
well, i think he’ll beat his wife physically if he loses. or she will physically beat him if he beats her again.
either way, someone better check his mate. :]
|the kid|
Wow. I don’t care what any celeb did this year. Just by the wording of that question – THAT is the top fail of 09
You might win at chess but I bet she’d whip your nern ass I a fist fight. I’d keep one eye open when you sleep bro!
very funny..
The answer to the question is a WIN in my books.
…22 year olds play chess?
… 22 year olds r married?
Hmmm… let’s talk about this love/hate relationship you have with your father and chess and its transference to your wife… shall we. Get comfy on that couch… I’ll take notes.
Ok this is a far stretch to be a “fail”. First off it is very apparent as to what this person is talking about. Then there is the fact that the answer made a reference to this blog…So… Why is this here?
If she is willing to beat you, then its only fair that you return the favor.
Oh my gosh a phrase that can be used more than one way I feel so giggly inside!
Morons
Classic! lol
Would have been funny without the big FAIL on the picture.
Wow, you really fooled me.
It sounded very bad at first.
Just let her win if you want
to play with her.
COOL STORY BRO!!!
yes you should stop beating her, i’ll do it for you.
Fail 1 – The title: Yeah it’s just a fail.
Fail 2 – The guy who answered is trying to be considered a win. Either way he just fails in attempting this.
What I love is not the fail, but Cody making an obvious attempt at win..
Protip- Don’t make it obvious, it’s still a fail, he may have delivered but it’s a pathetic attempt at win.
Please go and kill yourself
astronomical fail…
Not only is it a title fail, but so is the situation. I personally hate chess and “serious” board games. I would’ve divorced him for forcing me to play. XD Go play Candy Land in the dark if you want a thrill, “final fantasy ten”.
my names cody XD
No way! I would never have guessed!
let her beat you. make her feel good
Is the person asking this question Glenn Beck?
There are… so many puns amongst all these comments.
can you teach me chess?
Failblog WIN.
(If he asks me that, I would answer with only one word: ‘YES’.)
i thought he meant abuse.
but the best answer is win.
Hello!!
Clearly it’s a troll.
get a life, go outside people!!!
This was obviously intentional. Me and my peeps posted over 1000 Yahoo! Questions, in order to make the lulz, but idiots kept thinking it was unintentional. The story is made up in order to mislead the reader. So technically ~44, you are fail.
I’ll take the shirt.
I love FF10
give a link to the question on yahoo!
Answer win.
Mild fail on Cody’s part too. He titles this “wish granted, cody”, implying someone else ended up uploading it to failblog. But it says “Your answer”.
Not much of a prediction win.
If I had a wife I would beat her every day. That will show her who is better at crosswords!
Win for Cody…
Tommy Widjaya beats women and his meat.
These are great, will suggest these to some of my clients
Should i stop beating my wife in CHESS? could be better.
Okay, first anyone who gets pissed off at and reply’s to an anonymous person who calls somebody gay online, FAIL to all of you. They are anonymous who cares let them be an idiot. Secondly, saying a woman cant be gay is wrong. here is why the term gay comes from the early pride parades where participants wore Green And Yellow ribbons to show there sexuality, hence GAY. Lesbian is the only distinctly single term for a form of sexuality between 2 women since it comes from the Greek island of Lesbos where the Queen worte poems on sapphic love.
shat brix with all the lesson story. srsly i didnt knew that Green and yellow, lesbos island