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thrilleringOh, that is bad.
♪ Beat it, beat it ♪
Hit the road Jack.
Oh baby give me one more chance.
But you landed on Community Chest.
Play properly or not at all.
It says “you have come second place in a beauty contest, receive one squeeze from every playa”.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
*lines up*
*squeeze*
*Takes a ride on the reading*
*Squeezes all*
Do you guys even know about MJ?
Michael Joseph Jackson’s story was a quintessentially American tale of celebrity and excess that took him from musical boy wonder to global pop superstar to sad figure haunted by lawsuits, paparazzi and failed plastic surgery.
At the height of his career, he was indisputably the biggest star in the world; he has sold more than 750 million albums. He spent a lifetime surprising people, in recent years largely because of a surreal personal life, lurid legal scandals, serial plastic surgeries and erratic public behavior that have turned him — on his very best days — into the butt of late-night talk-show jokes and tabloid headlines. He died at age 50 in Los Angeles on June 25, 2009.
Mr. Jackson’s death itself became an enormous spectacle. On television and on the Internet, tens of millions of people worldwide watched a memorial service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles.
The cause of Mr. Jackson’s death was a mixture of the powerful anesthetic propofol and the anti-anxiety drug lorazepam, according to the Los Angeles County Coroner office. The manner of death was determined to be homicide. Mr. Jackson’s personal doctor, Conrad Murray, who tried to revive Mr. Jackson on the day he died, is the focus of a manslaughter investigation by the Los Angeles Police Department.
The introduction to Mr. Jackson’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame entry seemed apt as a global audience followed reports of his hospitalization and then death:
“Michael Jackson is a singer, songwriter, dancer and celebrity icon with a vast catalog of hit records and countless awards to his credit. Beyond that, he has transfixed the world like few entertainers before or since. As a solo performer, he has enjoyed a level of superstardom previously known only to Elvis Presley, the Beatles and Frank Sinatra.”
John Rockwell, the music critic of The Times, cited Mr. Jackson’s musical and cultural influence in a 1982 review of the album “Thriller,” calling it “a wonderful pop record, the latest statement by one of the great singers in popular music today.” But it was more than that, he contended: “It is as hopeful a sign as we have had yet that the destructive barriers that spring up regularly between white and black music — and between whites and blacks — in this culture may be breached once again. Most important of all, it is another signpost on the road to Michael Jackson’s own artistic fulfillment.”
Read More…
THE JACKSON 5
Mr. Jackson was born in Gary, Ind., on Aug. 29, 1958 and began performing professionally at age 5, joining his three older brothers in a group that their father, Joe, a steelworker, had organized the previous year. In 1968 the group, now five strong and known as the Jackson 5, was signed by Motown Records. As Mr. Jackson’s career began to take off, fans and entertainment industry veterans recognized something else about the pint-size musical dynamo that was unusual: He was in possession of an outsize, mesmerizing talent.
By 1969, Mr. Jackson had already spent years in talent shows and performing in seedy Midwestern clubs under the aegis of his dictatorial and ambitious father and Berry Gordy, the founder of Motown Records. They were the singer’s twin mentors during his early career.
The Jackson 5 was an instant phenomenon. The group’s first four singles – “I Want You Back,” “ABC,” “The Love You Save” and “I’ll Be There” – all reached No. 1 on the pop charts in 1970, a feat no group had accomplished before. And young Michael was unquestionably the center of attention: he handled virtually all the lead vocals, danced with energy and finesse, and displayed a degree of showmanship rare in a performer of any age. The Jackson brothers were soon a fixture on television variety shows and even briefly had their own Saturday morning cartoon series.
Mr. Jackson had his own recollections of those years. “When you’re a show-business child, you really don’t have the maturity to understand a great deal of what is going on around you. People make a lot of decisions concerning your life when you’re out of the room,” he wrote in “Moon Walk,” his 1988 autobiography. “Berry insisted on perfection and attention to detail. I’ll never forget his persistence. This was his genius. Then and later, I observed every moment of the sessions where Berry was present and never forgot what I learned. To this day, I use the same principles.”
SOLO CAREER
In 1971 Mr. Jackson began recording under his own name, while also continuing to perform and record with his brothers. His recording of “Ben,” the title song from a movie about a boy and his homicidal pet rat, was a No. 1 hit in 1972.
The brothers (minus Michael’s older brother Jermaine, who was married to the daughter of Berry Gordy, Motown’s founder and chief executive) left Motown in 1975 and, rechristened the Jacksons, signed to Epic, a unit of CBS Records. The following year Michael made his movie debut as the Scarecrow in the screen version of the hit Broadway musical “The Wiz.” But movie stardom proved not to be his destiny.
Music stardom on an unprecedented level, however, was. Mr. Jackson’s first solo album for Epic, “Off the Wall,” yielded four No.1 singles and sold seven million copies, but it was a mere prologue to what came next. His follow-up, “Thriller,” released in 1982, became the best-selling album of all time and helped usher in the music video age. The video for the album’s title track, directed by John Landis, was an elaborate horror-movie pastiche that was more of a mini-movie than a promotional clip and played a crucial role in making MTV a household name.
Seven of the nine tracks on “Thriller” were released as singles and reached the Top 10. The album spent two years on the Billboard album chart and sold more than 50 million copies worldwide. It also won eight Grammy Awards.
Such accomplishments would have been difficult for anyone to equal, much less surpass. Mr. Jackson’s next album, “Bad,” released in 1987, sold eight million copies and produced five No..1 singles and another state-of-the-art video, this one directed by Martin Scorsese. It was a huge hit by almost anyone else’s standards, but an inevitable letdown after “Thriller.”
OFFSTAGE, A STRANGE LIFE
It was at this point that Mr. Jackson’s bizarre private life began to overshadow his music. He would go on to release several more albums and, from time to time, to stage elaborate concert tours. And he would never be too far from the public eye. But it would never again be his music that kept him there.
Sales of his recordings through Sony’s music unit generated more than $300 million in royalties for Mr. Jackson since the early 1980s, according to three individuals with direct knowledge of the singer’s business affairs. Revenues from concerts and music publishing — including the creation of a venture with Sony that controls the Beatles catalog — as well as from endorsements, merchandising and music videos added, perhaps, $400 million more to that amount, these people believe. Subtracted were hefty costs like recording and production expenses, taxes and the like.
Those close to Mr. Jackson say that his finances had not deteriorated simply because he was a big spender. Until the early 1990s, they said, he paid relatively close attention to his accounting and kept an eye on the cash that flowed through his business and creative ventures. After that, they say, Mr. Jackson became overly enamored of something that ensnares wealthy people of all stripes: bad advice.
Mr. Jackson’s pre-expense share of the “Thriller” bounty — including the album, singles and a popular video — surpassed $125 million, according to a former adviser who requested anonymity because of the confidential nature of Mr. Jackson’s finances. Those who counseled him in the “Thriller” era credit the pop star with financial acumen and astute business judgment, evidenced by his $47.5 million purchase of the Beatles catalog in 1985 (a move that served to alienate him from Paul McCartney, the Beatles legend who imparted the financial wisdom of buying catalogs to Mr. Jackson during a casual chat, only to see Mr. Jackson then turn around and buy rights to many of Mr. McCartney’s own songs). Acquaintances from that period say that he would occasionally borrow gas money, and he still lived in the Jackson family home in the suburban Encino section of Los Angeles.
It wasn’t until the end of the 1980s that Mr. Jackson began to exhibit more baronial tendencies. In 1988, he made his $17 million purchase of property near Santa Ynez, Calif., that became Neverland.
At the same time, Mr. Jackson was redefining the concept of spectacle in pop music. He hired Martin Scorsese, the film director, to direct a video for “Bad,” a clip that one adviser with direct knowledge of the production budget said cost more than $1 million. The same adviser said that Mr. Jackson netted “way north” of $35 million from a yearlong “Bad” tour that began in 1987, and that heading into the 1990s Mr. Jackson was in sound shape financially.
By the mid-90s, though, Mr. Jackson’s finances were under strain. He retreated from working regularly after the release of “Dangerous” in 1991 and settled a child-molestation lawsuit for about $20 million. More significantly in terms of his finances, he had to sell Sony a 50 percent stake in the Beatles catalog in 1995 for more than $100 million, which one adviser said helped shore up the singer’s wobbling accounts. Mr. Jackson wouldn’t produce another studio album of completely new material until 2001.
SEXUAL ABUSE TRIAL
In June 2005, he was acquitted of all charges in connection with accusations that he molested a 13-year-old boy he had befriended as the youth was recovering from cancer in 2003. Mr. Jackson’s complete acquittal ended a nearly four-month trial that featured 140 witnesses who painted clashing portraits of the 46-year-old international pop star as either pedophile or Peter Pan.
Along with the verdict, the jury gave a note for the judge to read out in court. In it, they said they felt “the weight of the world’s eyes upon us all” and that they had “thoroughly and meticulously” studied all the evidence. The note concluded with a plea “we would like the public to allow us to return to our lives as anonymously as we came.”
The case arose from the February 2003 broadcast of “Living with Michael Jackson,” a British documentary in which Mr. Jackson admitted sharing his bed with young boys, calling it a loving act unrelated to sex. The boy who later became the accuser was shown holding hands with the singer and resting his head affectionately on his shoulder. He was described as a 13-year-old cancer patient whom Mr. Jackson had decided to help.
DEATH AND AFTERMATH
On March 5, 2009, Mr. Jackson announced that he would perform a series of concerts in London in the summer, in what he called a “final curtain call.” Mr. Jackson, 50, revealed the details of the concerts at a news conference in London, where he said he would perform 10 shows at that city’s O2 Arena, beginning July 8. “When I say this is it, I mean this is it,” Mr. Jackson said. “I’ll be performing the songs my fans want to hear.”
The shows would have been Mr. Jackson’s first major performances since 2001 and 2002, when he appeared at a pair of 30th anniversary celebrations and two benefit concerts; a brief appearance by Mr. Jackson at the World Music Awards in 2006 was booed by some audience members.
On June 25, Mr. Jackson was found unconscious in his home. His personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, said he had a faint pulse and tried to revive him. Mr. Jackson arrived at the U.C.L.A. Medical Center in cardiac arrest and was declared dead a short time later.
According to the court documents unsealed on Aug. 24, 2009, Dr. Murray told investigators that he had administered an intravenous drip of 50 milligrams of propofol, an anesthetic, to Mr. Jackson nightly for six weeks before the singer’s death to help him sleep. Dr. Murray also administered lorazepam, an anti-anxiety drug that can be addictive, and midazolam, a muscle relaxant, to treat Mr. Jackson’s insomnia.
A mixture of the powerful anesthetic propofol and the anti-anxiety drug lorazepam killed Michael Jackson, according to a statement made by the Los Angeles County Coroner Office on Aug. 28. It said the manner of death was a suicide.
Dr. Murray said he tried to resuscitate Mr. Jackson and administered flumazenil, a drug to reverse the effects of the sedatives in his system. Dr. Murray waited about 82 minutes before anyone called paramedics to the home, according to the documents.
Media outlets treated the weeks following Mr. Jackson’s death as an expansive public funeral for the pop star, culminating in a service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Nielsen Media Research said that the 18 channels that simulcast the service had a combined average of 31 million at-home viewers during the nearly three-hour event. The service drew a bigger TV crowd than the funerals for two former presidents, Ronald Reagan in 2004 and Gerald Ford in early 2007.
Mr. Jackson’s memorial also attracted millions of online viewers. Citing internal data, CNN.com said it served 4.4 million live video streams during the service; MSNBC.com said it counted 3.1 million. Yahoo reported 5 million total streams.
On Sept. 3, Mr. Jackson was entombed in the heavily guarded Forest Lawn cemetery, several miles north of downtown Los Angeles. About 200 people, including Elizabeth Taylor, Lisa Marie Presley, Macaulay Culkin, and Quincy Jones, attended the private funeral.
*falls asleep*
*draws mustache*
*shaves eyebrows*
*Moves blog onto athletic field*
*puts a sign that reads “I am a dangerous zombie, don’t wake me up”*
*puts hand in bowl of warm water*
*puts a hand in bowl of warm water*
*jerks awake*
*runs from thread*
Sorry for the double. Failblog ate my post and spit if back.
I wonder how long it’ll take that guy to decompose?
-Bout as long as it will take you to read that damned spam up there.
He forgot to mention the funeral protesters that also attempted to attend.
Seriously, did anyone really read that wall of text? If so, why?
What I saw was, “Do you guys even know about MJ?
blahblahblahblahblahblah… ad nauseum.
That’s word for word how I read it Gracie.
I think a better question might be, do we care?
Do we care about MJ, that is. I think we’d get a resounding “NO!”
I can honestly say that I definitely do not care one iota about Michael Jackson. He lost any respect I had for him as a musician years ago.
Geee…Touchie…
*touches Maki*
Like that?
More like *poke*
TL;DR
Yes of course we know none of that.
Sign,sign, pass
(copypasta)
What did I miss, I didn’t read it, let’s tickle Ms Be while she sleeps.
Yay
:[ *tickles*
*giggles*
*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Wha-what?? Did I miss something? Oh…thanks, k@!
*sign, sign, pass*
*tickles Ms B*
..Also, I hear he used to jack off a lot.
Surprisingly that isn’t a bad thing when it comes to all the crazy shite he did.
Thanks avss for that insight. I found it most enjoyable and the good part it had something to do with the fail. Not like some crap that goes on here. Mr Jackson was a incredible person.
Yes an incredible kiddy diddler.
agree
agree with the Incredible person part, not the “kiddy whatever the rest that douche wrote” part
*Wall of Text hits you in the groin* OUCH!
It was a critical hit, too… :-/
tl;dr
asvss – Serious life fail
He was a pedo get over it…
alternatively, the boring post is a WIN for the cut and paste feature
You know, it’s not really that hard to copy the text off of Wikipedia anyway…
STFU. I really dont give a flying f*ck.
What is it called when someone pastes a large set of sentences and paragraphs but fails to properly attribute all that verbiage to the original source? Hint: begins with the letter P.
btw – if MJ was “haunted by lawsuits” it’s his own damn fault for leaving the appearance that he was acting inappropriately with young kids. He put out some great music but his personal life was just… wrong in so many ways.
But was he a victim of his own success?. His music will be his only legacy until his kids come up and follow their fathers footsteps.
this picture is making me piss my pants from too much laughter
Who cares? Sammy Davis Jr was way cooler then MJ and MJ would never had a career if not for Sammy. Sammy is the one who got all the hotels in Vegas desegerated by refusing to play at hotels that wouldn’t let him stay there.
nice entirely uneeded wiki post
We don’t care…?
O RLY?
wow…. great job copying wikipedia =.=….
*barfs*
Good to know someone knows how to copy/paste.
at least one bad don't spoil the whole bunch, girlIt only spoiled Donny.
I guess Billy Jean really wasn’t his lover.
If she still is, then there’s a problem in Houston.
I have a friend in Houston, and should ask if there are any.
No, the Man in the Mirror was.
(Just passing through, have to get ready for work. Got To Be There in 45 minutes – TTFN.)
But not Little Boy Blue or the Man on the Moon?
Too Soon
Oops. I meant, “Too soon?”
Et tu son?Second
tru dat tru dat that picture and title is tru
*Shortwaves*
what?
OFF?
5 off his jack off.
DVD, with free sock?
Free sock nick-named Diana?
Sounds dirty.
Give it 30 seconds with a teenager, and it will be!
Who needs a teenager? We all hang out in the gutter already.
Wow, does that make us all socks maniacs?
*ponders*
OMG 999! flip that around and its 666! THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR! or I smoked to much… *runs and waits for the end*
Nah,we still got slightly more than 2 years ’til the end of the world.
♫2000
1
2
Party over, opps, outta time♪
what the hell is the funny part?
That.
*points and giggles*
Oh……Wow
*tries not to look*
*giggles*
Wait…wait…keep watching…look what it does…
*lol*
Did you see?
Is that even legal!
Who knows? Who cares? It’s filthy!
I’m not cleaning something that filthy.
*passes blabla a Shamwow*
**runs from condescending hypocrites with no life**
… sticks foot out for humorless twaddler.
:splat:
hehehehee…
I love Micheal Jackson
father of the bride speeches and toasts
They left out the N. That’s hysterical.
I thought it was the “PLAT” above the barcode. “PLAT” is a very funny word.
Michael jack off
lol xD
Jackson. Jacksoff.
Oi Tsuke!
*tickles*
*goes squish like grape*
I was Juice playing
The way of the fist?
Swedish Fist??
Consider it a compliment…we wouldn’t use it if it wasn’t funny…
*squeeze*
Seriously, Ms B, I can’t see or hear the word “fist” without thinking Swedish and you. So we think of you often. Isn’t that nice!
Exactly! Thanks, BG…
You guys are so…sweet…I think.
*squeeze*
When I think of schveedish fist these days, I think of Elin schmacking Tiger upside da haid.
*golf glove clap*Oooohh… sparkles…
Hee-hee!
One of my terminals just said
Returning to build of jackit-0.116.2_3Is says that on my screen now too! 0.0
OMG!!! Aja has infected all of our screens.
They have shots for that.
As long as it’s not in the @ss. Those hurt for days.
Don’t worry, there’s some ass cream for that.
If cream doesn’t work, you can always go to Ass Depot. They’re having a winter sale.
But I don’t want a shot! Can’t I get it orally?
As you know Judy, that is always an option here, just don’t shout too loudly.
*Calculates the odds of getting shot for his comment*
*Remains silent*
The right comment could lead to you doing the shooting
♫ But when the wrong anecdote is like a bulge on the throat
You run for cover in the heat. . . ♫
Uoh uoh! I want one!…What? Article discontinued?? Bhaaa!
Id Tapp That
I wouldn’t fawcet.
No spouting off?
Not today. My spelling went down the drain.
Just say it was an archaic c0ck-up.
*Puts on bibb – eats words*
Thank you, that’s spigot you.
I think I’ve blown one too many valves.
I feel like such a drip today.
*Adjusts nozzle*
All better?
Thank you so much. I have a sinking feeling today will get better.
There’s medicine for that dripping feeling, BG.
Not as wrong as wholesaling liberty pumps.
Wow. you’ve exceeded yourself this time guys, wasn’t expecting your enthusiasm to be jaw droppingly big
First!
/\ /\ To notice that this was an epic win.
^5 0.0
This sounds like the site Pen Island, which can be found here.
This sounds like SHUT THE HELL UP!
Michaeljacksoff…..Is it some russian guy?
In Soviet Russia, Michael jacks off?
In Soviet Russia, son jacks Michael off?
(yep, I’m going to Hell)
ur in it, Failblog is a subsidiary of Hell inc. or that could be the other way round.
Well he obviously isn’t “on” anymore…
Yes, he stepped off.
gave a 5 star rating purely for the toppng it off
thank god the thought police dont come to these pages, or we would be in deep dodo SNERK
I really do think this discussion is more FAIL than the pic..
Get yourself together. I guess some sunshine would help you a lot!
DISREPECTFUL!!!!!! NOT EVEN FUNNY
Agreed
MJ is a legend that’s all i have to say. And respect him for he’s got talent. Watch This is it . awesome piece of work .
yep. he was a legend at………/jacking off/
I am shocked……5 bucks for a MJ album!? :O
Ha ha, this skull-faced pedophile is burning in hell… he paid millions of dollars in hush money to his young victims (including $20 mil to one family). He probably died of AIDS… an untimely death; much too late.
Sorry but you are the jackass here
I’m sad to admit that that’s from walmart. I would recognize their price tags anywhere (I work there)
lol, store coding fail!
people should show more respect for him.
untill you know all the facts (which i do) you can’t believe the garage gossip
anyway, i laughed, its pretty funny, but i LOVE michael
Hey, I’d watch him jack off.
He was sexy shit.
um………..thats gross….and i likes it. lets have 3 whey hawt secks!!! lololololololo
*shrug* Sure, why not…
Would we be paying $5 to watch him do it to himself, or for him to do it to us?
You said Michael Jackson!! MEDIA OUTRAGE!!!!
… I don’t get it.
Haha I took that picture.
WTF
whoooooa………………lol what a typo
HI PEOPLE!!!!
I’m glad someone posted the accomplishments of Michael Jackson. Hands down the greatest entertainer that ever lived.
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