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» 132 Failures in Communication
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Can’t lose it, at least.
Unless you try really hard…..and have an axe.
The axe is for choppy water.
it’s for when you are aroused and taking on wood
Mind the splinters if you’re going to screw.
Watch it, they Teakle.
the peer is drowning, DUH!
You might need a peer review next time.
I can always pier at him.
*offers peardrops*
pier*
my bad!!! stop the flaming
we’re saving lives here
Is giant sized bar puzzle.
Oh dear…
here! ill save you!!……..*scratches head*
No doubt someone lost the instructions anyway.
That’s what happened after they followed the instructions.
instructions “THROW” “Do not hit the person you are trying to save in the head with it”
The ring is safe.
Just don’t swim.
I know a ring that should come with hazard lights.
Grannys’?
I just have to !magine it and sure enough, he comes.
Uh oh.
*battons hatches*
*hides animals*
*hides battons*
*hatches animals*
ooooh! Pinhada! I hope you’re hiding those battons in me!
If you didn’t feel it, they’re not in far enough.
that’s why I keep knocking things off the table every time I turn my back! i thought I had a poultrygeist!
but it was just me holey ghost
light at the end of the tunnel?
More like a landing strip for guidance.
it’s really helpful when your runway is so disused and overgrown
Well what do you expect? Safety is third after all.
So, ??? do we profit from this?
Charge them for playing life buoy hoopla.
Oh noes, This can’t end well
End well? It can’t even start well.
Well, Maybe the person had fun drowning intill he died? maybe :S
Perfectly safe. Nobody can drown, because noboy can get in the water. Or how would they be able to get past the red bar?
there seems to be blood on the deck from people trying to dive in
That’s from the kid on the rope swing.
Damn it! Every time!
don’t get all emo about it
reminds me of my honeymoon
Sounds like a interesting honeymoon
I was tied to a pole down the docks mmmmmm
*thinks back wistfully*
Nothing at all to do with the wood in your hole?
Sounds kinky
it was a but rough, couple of kinks and a knot or two
*sprays*
Every time!
Oh, Jam I’m your biggest fan! Your always on the comments XD
Thank you. I’ll let you know when I’m about to say something funny.
I feel so proud of myself being one of the frist posters.
With all of you guys and also No frist comment ftw.
and I spelled first wrong :S
And “you’re” if you’re going to be picky. :p
Nah i’m not a nazi ;D
Ah yes, the nazis and the Thrid Raich! Damn that Hilter!
always with the wrong spelling, is there no end to his treachery?
You should check his metaphores – HORRIBLE!
he wanted to kill all the juice?
You should flag up his semaphore mistakes too. Sophomores he excels at however. . .
I think apple juice was okay, but he HATED cranberries.
(I was serious: If you want to laugh you ass off, check “Mein Kampf” for the metaphores. He messed them up pretty much every time he tried to use one – despite the fact that several proofread the book before it got released…)
hahaha the first proof reader met an untimely demise, the mistakes become more apparent after the first chapter
I will try and give it a read, must be amusing
95% is rather disgusting, content as well as language usage. But his mistakes sometimes made me laugh.
You approve of the other 5%?
Is that the part about the leather boots?
I laugh about 5%. Approval rate: 0% (margin of error: -3%)
I thought the 5% was confusion trying to unravel the metaphors, like a coconut trying to unwrap a squid.
I accidentied my name and similied my metaphor, time for bed.
*SNORK!*
Perfect example, Moomin!
Okay, almost perfect.
My struggle with the English language eh?
I’d love to be able to say I did it on purpose to highlight how bad his grammar was.
*spraysqueeze!*
*Ducks double spray*
sorry it’s my fowl smell
*squeeze!*
That’s alright chicken!
*squeeze*
What a pheasant conversation.
*new and old bird squeeze*
Nice one.
*runs past Baywatch style*
This is going to be great since I lost my job as the lifesaver in the shallow diving toilet. Granny’s always watching.
You should try to NOT run in slow-mo. Seven have already drowned since you started to run.
The dead put up less resistance to the kiss of life. . .
Good point.
*anklesqueeze*
mouth to bum
*squeeze o life!*
Your mouth to their bums – or the other way around?
Depends which way they wash up.
*anklesqueeze*
I now cannot get rid of the !mage of Granny kissing a floater.
Thank you for that!
You’re smelcome.
You said “smelcome”! Can we do that again?
I’m always ready for “that”
depends which way they wipe
hey Jam, are you on that hawtness website photocopying your boobs? :b
I did but it was black and white, they just looked like really bad pie charts.
I love pie!
I thought they were venn diagrams?
My sets don’t overlap.
Mutually exclusive sets?
That depends on who is asking for an intersection.
You titillate us with your graphjam. . .
I can knocker up a good chart.
Show us yer bell curve. . .
You can see my peaks through the normal distribution channels.
depends if it’s lunch time or not (sorry)
Is it like a saltlick if they’ve been in the sea for a while?
I add the salt
My saltlick brings all the bouys to the shore,
And they’re like, give me some more
hahahaha!
I can save you
but I have to score
…and it would be just like inflating a doll. Double pleasure!
the smell of the sea
the wind in my face….
the taste of dead fishes,
my heart picks up pace…
the sound of the waves,
against sodden flesh…
the feel of the fishnets
against my barnacled ass
These are a few of my favourite things.
No, wait.
*jaws music plays*
Nommmmmmm-Nom
Nommmmmmm-Nom
NomnomnomnomNomnomnomnomNomnomnomnom
Would you like some ‘sugar’ to get rid of those !mages at all?
makes the Moomin go down
(clicky)
safe against robbery
OF course, this is actually something for the epic kludge page (as well as it looking like a fail).
Someone took a rescue ring and stuck it over the post deliberately, to be a “bumper” on the dock, to prevent a moored boat from damaging the dock (or vice versa – all depends on the side of the boat), from wave action (especially that created by the wake of other boats). Plus, the rope can be used to tie the boat to the dock.
It’s decorative, and good for a “WTF” from passing boaters, but anyone who’s ever had a boat larger than a bass boat (which are typically too low-profile for the bumpers to have an effect) knows that having such bumpers are important, if you intend to keep your boat (as opposed to having it become a fishing reef just off the dock).
Nice analysis.
It just doesn’t look like a fail. This is a fail…a HUGE fail. Someone might waste time in an emergency spotting this life preserver first. This has to be a safety violation as well as one of common sense.
Bumper was my first thought too, although this could cause confusion in an emergency, and used tires are cheap.
Later, they mounted an axe near the preserver in case it was needed in an emergency, but the axe kept getting stolen so they attached a chain. However, the length of the chain was misjudged and while it was long enough to reach the pole it didn’t have the slack to take an adequate swing. It was decided to put a padlock on the chain and hide a key under a carved wooden seagull at the other end of the pier. Then some hooligans found the key and the chain and the axe disappeared, so they mounted a new axe, chain, and padlock in a metal box with a glass cover and…well, you see where I’m going with this…
I have this very sudden sinking feeling.
Maybe it’s one of those magic rings.
its for boats?
This fail is a fail of a fail.
Look at the freshly bright painted wood trapping said preserver, and the rope around the water with yellow ties on it. This is to prevent anyone from entering said water.
When people can enter the water again, it is assumed they will remove said wood entrapping the preserver.
this is to protect your boat when docking. the rope is for tying said boat, to said dock.
In Case of Drowning
Break Wood
Hey, at least the bridge won’t drown!
Now the dock will be safe :]
I WILL DECK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YO HO
took me a minute to figure it out..
Wait a second, is the fail the life preserver?
Cuz what I thought was funnier is the fact that there are wet spots on the bar and the end of the dock…
Presumably from kids trying to dive off with wet foreheads and wet feet