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Cheezburger Network Blog
not so hotHot Pocket anyone??
Hot dog!
Hot mess!
Hot potato?
Vicar? Is that you?
*sends SuzieQ to the PunRunBreakerNaughtyCorner*
Here are a few chocolate chip cookies. Do not come out until you have thought about what you have done young lady.
Sowwy…bu-bu-but it was too good to pass up! Just don’t use the Hot Shot on me…
It’s okay SuzieQ, for blessed are the leek, they shallot out our inherent lumpers.
Buahahaha!!!
Marius that was good.
SuzieQ, they once confiscated my newly awarded Pun Run Certificate. I had to earn it back…
At least I gave you some cookies.
*nomnomnom*
And they were quite yummy!!! Thanky!!!
*offers cookies to Failpeeps*
Anyone want some?
Sure if Leila made them
Thanks!
I brewed some fresh coffee and put the kettle on for tea for everyone as well.
*takes cookie and cup of coffee*
Oh, you guys are livesavers. Just what I need.
*munchity-munchy-munch*
*siiiip*
Aaaaaaaaaah. We are in the midst of a “wintry mix” bit of weather at the moment and it is less than pleasant.
Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the blog is so delightful
And since we’ve a place to chat
Let us squeeze! Let us squeeze! Let us squeeze!
♪ SQUEEEEEEEEEEEZE ♪
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEZE!!*
*skaweeeeeeze*
*sympathizes with the buttahcow*
I wondered what the Vicar was doing in that run also….
Really any time a reference to “potato” is made you can be sure the vicar will play some small part.
How do you know he had small parts?
*inquisitive look*
I see.
hehehe Leila.. your mind gets dirtier all the time. Me likey!
I was sooooooooo innocent when I first started less than a year ago.
I guess we now know who keeps supplying the potatoes for the vicar…
I done that.
Hot Rod?
A-Rod?
Spare the rod, spoil the blogger.
Spare the road, boil the jogger.
Spare the toad, foil the flogger
Spare the turd, soil the logger.
Spare the balls, sack the golfer.
Poor tiger.
NOT!
How could anyone possibly feel sorry for him?
You’ve got everything — a beautiful wife, children, tons of money — and you have to go and mess with that?!? I don’t get it.
Power and money give the unwary a false sense of omnipotence. Too many grasping hanger-ons telling you how great you are no matter how wrong you might be.
and mess with that
and mess with that
and mess with that
and mess with that
and mess with that
really!!!!!!
According to news reports, it wasn’t the hot svedish vife he was messing wid. …
And now she’s moved out via ambulance.
What STD did Tiger spread to his lovers?
.
.
.
Golf Clap.
No, the lady who moved out via ambulance was Tiger’s mother-in-law. Not the wife.
“Tiger hit a tree and girls fell out.”
Loved it!!!!!
*golf craps*
Tiger’s new theme song:
♫ … it’s raining waitresses, hallelujah… ♫
When a Roman general celebrated a triumph, he had in the processional chariot with him a slave who held a wreath above his head, but also reminded him that he was mortal. The wreath has turned into dollars, the reminder has disappeared.
diarrhea-pocket (in sing-songy voice)
Thank you Jim Gaffigan.
I’d always wondered how Mario would refer to his Pocket Diary.
Nah, it’s in the microwave…I’m sure he just missed.
Not so real.
All I have done lately is criticise the fails for being fake, and yet again, I can’t seem to accept that this one wasn’t made strictly for failblog.
Agreed…unless it was the tiny lady in the toilet, I don’t know who could poop in a microwave
When there’s a will, there’s a way…
I know Will and I wish he would go away.
Well, away Will went.
Fire at Will!!
Last Will and testament.
Ignis fatuus.
Will-o’-the-wisp
You can’t be throwing Latin around willy-nilly!!
Weeping Will Oh.
Free Will.
Will work for food.
Will will will to live.
Then you have not worked with as many jerks as you think.
Spoon God, you just need to relax, take in the fail, and let the fail flow over you. Feel the fail. Feel the fail……
I got arrested for that.
Age restrictions unless you are in Alabama.
…then it’s based on teeth.
for feeling the fail, or for pooping in the microwave?
Yes.
Someone relaxing is how the poop got into the microwave, non?
Methinks it was actually a very strenuous act. You need to aim it just right. Not very relaxing.
I hate to say it, but it may have been transferred to the microwave.
You’d just have to flip it up.
ummm… cough, cough … not speaking from personal experience, are ye?
You pooped in a microwave? O.o
Holy crap!…wait…was it? =/
It’s sad that I have to tell you this, but this is totally true– in the lower classmen dorms at my school (Malone.edu). Idiots at private christian schools, much?
its real, trust me… i go there. my brother took a picture on his phone.
i can verify that it is indeed real. i go there.
or is it?
ysuh
How can they know it wasn’t a dish of mince and bisto?
Corn.
Someone put corn in the brownie mix??
Microwave poop corn?
Poopsicles
Pooptarts
Poopnuts
Pooprocks
Jiffy Poop
Bomb Poop
Poop Scare
Poop Machine
poopy diapers.
Bagel with poopy seeds.
Wait…corn…is it hossenpooper?
Poop-top
Split poop soup.
Wait … none of you thought of poop music?
Talk about!
♪
Talk about … poop music
talk about … poop music
poop … poop … poop music …
♪
Poop Secret?
(not anymore!)
*checks pool*
Nothing floating in there, I hope.
Nowt but a non utonian liquid
And a strange man walking on it. ^^^
Nowt a newt?
Microwave.
All pooped out.
Coprophobia – fear of feces.
And, just for fun:
Coprastasophobia – fear of constipation.
So the criminal from yesterday’s video fail was suffering from coprastasophobia. It all makes sense now.
Yes, too much fiber in the diet will sometimes achieve the opposite effect.
he had dia–reeeyah?
Only his cell mate would know.
*eewwwsnork*
good lord that’s nasty… but I lol’d.
Coprophilia – fascination with or pleasure in faeces / defecation
Coprophagy – one possible explanation for the scenario in the fail …
LMAO!
HOW????
Anything is possible, when you have the will to achieve it…..
Timetravel?
Plausible
True, the CIA invented dinosaurs to discourage time travel.
HAHAHA
*Snickers*
*walks behind Marius*
*snickers*
Hee!
♫ You spin me right round, baby . . . ♫
♪ Like a record baby right round right round ♫
ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!
*shakes fist @ Marius*
I’ll get you for that earworm!!!!!
Here’s a little something I thought you might like:
♪ He’s got the whole world in his hands ♫
♪ He’s got the whole world in his hands ♫
♪ He’s got the whole world in his hands ♫
♪ He’s got the whole world in his hands ♫
That’s it, I’m going to get a dinosaur from the 80s to eat you guys.
*serenades Dil*
♪ I love you, you love me ♪
LEILA!!!
That “song” is evil…EVIL!!11!!Elebenty!!
And Leila is eaten by a dinosaur in legwarmers, just as she always suspected would happen.
*Travels back in time*
*Steps off path and stomps on butterfly*
*Returns to a world with a communist dinosaur government*
Sh!t.
Hmm. Haven’t seen WIKI in awhile….
Cuz Marius stepped on her.
Dil, I guess this is the first and last time I ever serenade a girl … ROFL!!!
It was Arthur!
Last I heard, WIK is having trouble with her intertoobs. I hope she’ll be back soon.
*sidestps the earworms*
Damn, they always come out when it (ref)rains…
Well Leila, maybe if you’d told me lately that you looooved me…
I am so confused … I thought that’s what I did ^ there. Okay…take 2.
♪ I just called, to say I ♥ youuuuuuu ♪
But do you mean it?
It seemed pretty heartfelt to me. I mean, she put all the effort into getting the little music notes, and the heart.
Hell, I’ve never bothered with that much when serenading.
Oh, Loving the festive avatar, Avis
I was setting her up for the follow up line in the song!
And thank you kindly!
lol, I can’t read.
I always thought gray men from the future invented the CIA to discourage forward time travel…
For a second I just read this as “gay men from the future”
*snorks* me too!
I am so glad I am not the only who does this.
No, there are a lot of people who *snork*.
*snork* I did too. Now I’m thinking about gay men from the future plotting world domination and using time travel.
That’s funny — I was thinking about black garnets and fanged werebunnies…
Now that you mention it, that would explain the return of certian fads. I mean, bell bottoms and butterfly collars? Paisley?
Thank you for finally cluing me in on this. No one ever explained it before.
… or you might’ve been clued and the gay men from the future came back and un-did the cluing
*head asplodes*
*snork!* That’s way funnier than my South Park reference
*bows to master* I should’ve made that typo
Using the Turdis, of course?
I guess you’d have to put your butt into it!
I was wishing for a new fail but I never expected this.
ROFL!!!
Just put it in a cup… like the 2 girls did.
At least it wasn’t a cake…
Oh, let’s not even joke about the cake. :[ No, no, no. Never.
I take it you’ve seen the offending baked good?
No. I am not sure I want to either.
*longTimeNoSeeSqueeze*
*Leilasqueeze*
Missed you! Sorry I haven’t been around much. It’s our renewal season here at work, so I’ve been buried in paperwork. I’m revolting today…need some funny like some people need coffee…
Oh, and um, if you’re interested in seeing said cake, just ask Fluffy…
I do wish we could liquefy funny, bag it and provide it as IV.
Reminds me of an old “Far Side” cartoon:
Two vultures are picking at a flattened clown in the roadway. One vulture says to the other: “Tastes funny.”
*gigglesnork*
My fav was the one where the cows are having a cookout and one’s grilling a hamburger: “Sick, Hal…just sick.”
I remember that one! I miss “Far Side”…
My fav: The bird’s eye view of world: everything has bull’s eyes, especially bald heads…
Or the three bucks talking, one of them with a bullseye on his chest: “Bummer of a birthmark”
God as a kid tries to make a chicken in his room
Praise that wonderful idea! World fixing in an IV.
FB is determined to make you ick today!
They have succeeded!!!
Whose?
*looks around terrified*
What?
*looks around terrified*
Where?
*looks round and terrified*
*frames Scotty with thumb and forefinger*
Dunno — you look pretty square to me…
*jksqueeze*
Well you know, it’s hip to be square.
*LGBsqueeze*
That’s news to me.
Square is the new round
Girl don’t lie, just to save my feelings.
…now Pizzas’ fill their boxes!
You’ll be all right, one way or another.
I want a new drug…
If this is it, please let me know.
I’m taking what they’re giving ’cause I’m working for a livin’.
They say the heart of rock ‘n roll is still beating. And, from what I’ve seen, I believe ‘em.
Sometimes bad is bad.
♫… ick to be square
in the right measure
♫ick to be square
do it for pleasure
♫ ick to be square
will always treasure
Bae♫ ay ♫beeee! ♫ ♫
How?
*looks around ferret eyed*
DON’TWANTTOKNOW!!!
Are you sure? We have this lovely “How To” manual right here in lovely blue pleather binding.
Nope, don’twanna, no how, no way, no, baby!
Please tell me they did not get to cooking it.
:greenpukeyface:
Do they cook poop before hanging it on the door knob?
:[
…um…they did not cook it.
:\
How else do you think they figured it out?
it was cooked. for 8 minutes. i smelled it.
gotta love malone university.
Damn this cheap calendar of mine! Failblog Diet Day isn’t even listed.
I thought every day is FBDD.
So true…feeling a bit queezy now…could someone please pass the bukkit? Don’t feel like blarrg’ing all over the thread…
*passes dabuttacow da bukkit*
Thank you kindly…
*Blarrrrrg*
*wipes face with ShamWow™*
I feel much better…
Urgh! Couldn’t you have gone to do that in another thread? Now I’m queasy!
Hey!! At least it was in the bukkit! Give me some credit…
I am sorry, due to the current economic situation, we can no longer extend you credit … some or otherwise.
Now what am I going to do???
I hope you have a full larder.
Are you kidding me? Right now? In this ecomomy? Udderly ridiculous!
We all need a bovine intervention from above.
Oh well, no use ruminating over spilled milk. Sorry I brought it up.
You cud have thought about it before bringing it up.
Nah, some days are Guys Acting Stupid Day, Terrible Driver Day, or Teens Trying To Impress the Opposite Sex Day.
Don’t forget Toilet in Odd Place, Those Crazy Anchors, and Attack of the Orange Tans.
and pirate candles!
Explosion, explosion, explosion Day. And Official Hold My Beer and Watch This Day. I can’t remember the exact date, but I’m pretty sure they are both close to Independance Day, July 4th.
this picture is fake…. lame
fail troll is fail
Yes, it’s definitely photoshopped. You can tell by the poopy pixels.
I think someone spent a lot of time on that in MS Poop.
definitely been poopyshopped…
*snork*
This really shouldn’t be so funny.
You can tell that picture was crapped.
“let’s see, cut a slit in the film, then cook for two and a half minutes on 50% power ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
film???
poop has film??
my doctor never told me that. …
What else hasn’t he told you???
Sinuses are for keeping candy in…..you know that right?
I thought sinuses were an impromptu piggy bank?
Just so long as when you sneeze you can launch a projectile that has a chance to cause injury to another, it is all good.
Because until someone is injured, it’s not fun and games.
It’s not fun and games until someone is injured…
It’s not fun and games until someone is injured? There goes my plans for the day!
Not if you are on the receiving end. Not good.
Surely you mean…snot good
Hehe. I missed the clever adage train this morning.
For some reason I first read that as “I missed the cleavage train this morning.”
I wish mine wouldn’t wait so long at the station.
Still trying to raise your hose, eh Scotty?
*runsawaywithaquickness*
The cleavage training was done down on the hawtness blog earlier… oh, wait… that’s too low to be proper cleavage. …
I thought sinuses (sinusii?) are intended to store all those used liquids for snorting out later, non?
It does and it’s quite normal. Now just bend over and I’ll do some completely physiological filming.
moderated
GASP!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO?????
Don’t blame me! I aimed for the toaster but someone pushed me!
im-agine-dat!
It does and it’s quite normal. Now just bänd over and I’ll do some completely physiological filming.
You can’t use that end of that camera, czuhc!
Hey, at least they warned people? I certainly would not want a microwave that has been pooped in.
True.
What if a gremlin died in it?
AHH! Yum. Yum.
I have this used blender lying around, too.
Deagle, Deagle, Deagle.
Don’t you pretty much figure that if someone had pooped in a microwave anywhere in your office or breakroom, EVERYONE would already know about it?
Not Mrs. Deagle. Poor lady.
Gizmo Caca.
Curiosity killed the scat!
Is it possible that’s just a typo?
You would hope so……
Makes it even funnier, tho — “Someone popped in this microwave.”
“Someone pooped the microwave?”
Ouch.
The microwave pooped someone.
……horror film rights?
Terror at 1800 Watts
Category E-vil
To The Power Of 10
Defrost Demons
I Know You Put Tinfoil in There
I Know What you Nuked Last Summer.
whew… reading all these comments leaves me pooped out.
Mission:Impoosible
Things to Poo in Denver When You’re DEAD
Revenge Of The Spam Cookies™
Miracle on Turdy-Fourth Street
poopless in Seattle
Alien vs Poopator
@zooomz♀: When Harry met Ex-lax?
Harry Pooper and the Chamber of Excrements.
Someone pooped in the microphone?
*poops in your microprocessor*
This has made my day. I keep hoping for a phantom pooper at my workplace.
Happened at my place, Dirty protest in the mens room…….nice.
Seriously?
*nods*
The day the redundancies were announced.
Yeah…because the people who made those decisions are obviously going to be the ones who have to clean it up.
Morans.
You would think Lawyers would have more sense…..
Crikey what did I just say *facepalm*
You work with lawyers?
*subtly shifts wallet to front left side pocket*
*duct tapes orifice openings*
How fascinating!
True Story, and Only Slightly OT:
We have a very tiny, cheap toaster oven here at work. It seems like every other day, someone burns-up something in it, and stinks-up the whole place to high heaven. Yesterday, someone started an actual, all-out FIRE in it! Had to use the fire extinguisher and everything to put it out! Now the little door on it is all burnt and sad-looking, and the stench…
*P.U.*
Most importantly, did they salvage any of whatever it was they were toasting?
Burnt to a cinder, I’m afraid.
I really hope it’s curtains for that little machine — it’s been nothing but trouble since the day the (cheap) office manager bought it. Also, I’m tired of it smelling like DEATH in the break room every freakin’ day…
They had to use a fire extinguisher on it, and people are still using that toaster?
Nonono…. They’re not using it, but it’s still sitting on the counter.
…there is a possibility it could be resurrected yet again…
If that toaster oven were a cat, it would’ve already burned through its nine lives…
I would accidentally drop it in the trash bin.
did the toaster accedenty?
I think it sounds like it deserves a proper burial involving sledgehammers.
Seconded
Hey now, I don’t go near the break room. It’s not my fault.
Somebody really hates their office.
Some days I wonder what that ’stuff’ in the microwave is @ my office building. Now I know.
*shudders*
Someone thought he was hot shit.
…and set out to prove it.
*snorkgigglesnork*
Reminds me of a childhood saying: “You think you’re hot shit on a silver platter, but all you are is a cold turd on a paper plate.”
LOVE that one…may I use it??
Of course, my sweet buttacow! Feel free!
I also like, “You think you’re King Shit of Piss Island.”
I think I know King Shit. It’s so sad. He’s been losing his brain matter rectally. Explosively so.
I heard he’s been soft lately…
completely nuts.
Where is the microwave?
It’s there — under the sign — I dare you to lift it…
No thank you!!!
I must say, it’s a small microwave. Explains how it may have been easy to … you know … do business with/in it.
You too can eat fast food at the ‘Poop and Nuke’.
*snork*
Like your festive holiday look, jam!
I’m ready for that big red clown if he tries to break and enter into my house.
Seal your fireplace. Fat bastard won’t have a chance.
*snorkroffle*
Did he ding?
I think he dung.
I’m sick of this place! Every year, someone poops in the microwave. You’d think they’d stop firing people in the break room.
Perhaps you should suggest the start firing in the bathrooms.
Note in the bathroom: “Do not use. Someone made creme brulee in this toilet.”
Don’t flush that! It has to be poop and poop only!
I think I saw that on “Iron Chef: Nigeria”
Am I missing something or is that thing actually plugged in?
What thing?
*hides B.O.B.*
Leila! You’re not supposed to use that thing in the kitchen!
Sooooowy!! Plus it’s battery operated. I don’t know what I was thinking.
Ah. I thought B.O.B. might have gotten a big brother, or something…
*snerk*
Excellent acronym!
I think Gracie was the first one to bring it up.
I see I can be replaced that easily.
um…well, you know…
We will let you play with it if you want!!! 
I am up for a good game of fetch!
*wags tail*
Oh noes! Jules has B.O.B. envy!
Doesn’t every guy?
LOL.
No.
Pointless FB Poll Of The Day
What is the most ridiculous-whaddufuh gift you have ever received for Christmas? What did you do with it?
I have to reply, just so your comment isn’t left hanging in the breeze.
I don’t recall ever receiving a WTF gift, but something else really stands out in my mind.
The first year we were married, my ex- mother-in-law, whom I had barely known for only a month or so, bought me an ENTIRE outfit for Christmas: jacket, pants, turtleneck, belt, shoes, earrings, and necklace. I was completely blown-away. (Especially considering all I got her was a small, whateva gift basket.) I actually wore the turtleneck for years, and only recently had to give it to goodwill — 20 years later!
*snork*
Looks like I was married to my mother-in-law ^! I meant to add “my ex-husband,” but you get the drift…
ROFL! I did get it and *squeeze* for replying. So, did you think it was a nice gesture on her part to get you all those things or ??? You wore the turtleneck for that many years so I am thinking you appreciated it.
I was just so truly amazed that someone I hardly knew would do that for me. The outfit was really quite lovely (she had great taste and style), and yes, very nice of her.
It was a bit embarassing, though, my having only gotten her the little gift basket I bought for her, but I was young and broke …
A fruitcake.
I mailed it to someone else the following year.
Yes I did.
*Snickers*
Did it keep talking at you? Is that why you had to get rid of it?
hehehehe
My mother told me never to eat singing fruit.
↑Ditto.
I did that, too… got one from my sis-in-law, so I regifted it the following year and gave it to my mo-in-law. Lasts forever, so. …
How does it last forever?
It’s full of alcohol. My mother is well preserved.
Do you really want to know??
No, idea… but it was never served and never returned.
Heck, there are whole websites dedicated to recycling the darn things.
ht tp://www.fruitcakerecycling.com/
They do make good doorstops.
That’s. Just. Scary.
*shudder*
Rumor has it my aunt makes a great fruitcake. It’s a rumor only because I’m convinced no one ever eats fruitcake, it just gets passed around to others every December. Must be something about trying to use up some quota by the end of the year or something …
My grandmother sent me a shirt that she owned, and didn’t like for herself. She thought it was ugly on her, so she sent it…to me.
It had happy squirrels and an old lady doily type collar. I was 14 at the time, and living in a very urban city. Which she’s from, so she knows the style. She just wanted to dump it.
Wow! You gotta love grandmothers.
It’s mandatory?!
Yes! It’s on page 2,300,453.
*hands dile “Who Do You Love” manual*
My grandmother sent me (I was in my twenties at the time) a sweat shirt with a sequined wreath glued on it. Not strings of sequins, individual sequins in a sort of grid pattern.
My mother borrowed the sweat shirt for an “ugly sweater” contest at her office. She came in second.
So, she gave it to you as a joke, right?
No. She didn’t. She gave one or one like it to all the women in the family. My mother was never so glad to have been divorced as when she saw that damned sweatshirt.
I always beg my family not to get me anything for any occasion. I would rather have nothing than end up with something that I cannot stand or use.
You’re so practical, Leila.
Here.
*hands Leila bag of Dora The Explorer marbles with Swiper the Fox shooter*
10 Creature Features from my step brother.
Including:
The Creature from Black Lake
Shark Attack 1,2 and 3
Spiders 1 and 2
Octopus 1 and 2
Crocodile 1 and 2
WTF?!?!?!
For the same year?
It was a gift box of cheesy movies.
Incidentally, Shark Attack has John Barrowman in it and all he does is giggle on the boats like some kind of nautical pot head.
Excuse me… #3 in fact!
How long have you known your step-brother? LOL
Well, this was not a Christmas present, but it was a WTF… my mom sent me a bunch of canned goods that were dented and expired – years old, actually. There was black stuff rimming the tops of the cans. And she paid – alot – to mail these across the country. They were heavy. I guess she couldn’t bring herself to throw out food – even rotten, poisonous food…. WTF?
Mookie, that reminds me —
I had run out of milk for a recipe and didn’t want to go to the store. So, I brought out a can of condensed milk that I’d had for literally YEARS on the pantry shelf, instead, thinking that it would still be all right to use.
Opened it to reveal … :ick:
Lesson: Just because it’s canned doesn’t mean it won’t go bad.
Amen. Botulism is more than an old wives’ tale!
People pay a lot of money for Botox injections. I’m just saying …
Mookie, that reminds me of a few Christmas’s ago, I had some big tins of pineapple juice I wasn’t going to use, so I added them into a box with other presents , wrapped it, and put it under the Kmart Wishing Tree. It was in with real presents as well, just as an extra, so the poor kid who got it did get real pressies as well, not just the dud. Still, not my finest moment….
A turquoise childline t-shirt
Ouch!! Got a fountain with cherubs sitting on some kind of water fall playing harps and what have you. Guess you’re supposed to put water plug it in for all the fun to ensue.
I hate knickknacks of any sorts with a passion and I ended up with that WTF gift from my own mother. I’ve donated the sucker and I felt bad aftewards. No one deserves such horror!!!
My aunt, who knows I am pretty far to the left of liberal, sent me a commemorative George Bush Christmas tree ornament from the White House gift catalogue.
Oh, that year I also got an enormous Pez dispenser (about as big as my forearm) with a Darth Vader head, but I thought that was pretty darned cool. I still have it.
I believe your aunt had some sort of strategery in mind.
*snork*
No, I don’t think so. She knows better than to try to argue politics with me. That’s the gift she sent to everybody that year…whether it was appropriate or not!
Haha! I just love OneSizeFitsAll gifts.
I once worked for a company where all the employees received a box of mixed nuts along with a card that read, “Nuts to You!”
Wow. That’s…that’s…wow.
Just wow.
“Nuts to You!” is the name of a chain of snack shops in Philly.
As Old Jingle would say:
Remember Robbie, you are what you eat.
Hmm, nuts. nom nom nom.
I wonder if I would be happier with a gift like that as opposed to spending 2 to 3 hours at a company holiday dinner with people I don’t care to spend my free time with.
My aunt and uncle told me to think of them as my parents since my mom had just passed away. They gave me a Coke tin filled with peanuts and two bottles of Coke. I’m allergic to caffeine and I hate nuts. It was lovely.
The vending machine was in the bathroom, where else was he meant to poop?
Makes complete sense to me jam.
No one probably knows this song, but here goes…
♫Hot sh!t on a platter…♪
♫ if it rotates, gonna splatter … ♫
♪ A sort of brownish type of matter… ♫
Oh. My. Gawd.
A cold front moved in over the weekend, leaving us in sweaters and jackets. In fact it rained yesterday (didn’t snow in our local foothills though – typical) and this morning we had frost advisories that were cleared just half an hour ago. But it’s still cold, even back here at my desk (my employer keeps me in the back corner with all the server and networking equipment, so it’s typically hot back here).
And I’m spending this morning on the phone with the Death Star itself (AT&T) trying to sort out a networking issue we have (can’t print to a new remote laser printer on their managed network). Of course the only people I’m speaking to have been near a script written in English, but otherwise have no concept as to how to pronounce the words, let alone how to build sentences. Understanding them is impossible.
It’s official. Today is a cold day in hell.
*skaweeeeeeeeeeze*
Any warmer, now?
Sounds like a good time to start sniffing glue.
Way ahead of you.
I’d love to. How do I do that again?
*IAmSorrySqueezeToZA*
Engrish is sometimes only funny on FB.
I see the “inner child” gift ads are back. The condiment lid is featured again. Wasn’t that from fathers day?
That thing just freaks me out.
I think I kinda want one.
Clean it
Eat it
Microwave failure notice.
It can eat shit, and warm it up!
I think Uncle George was Drunk again.
It bothers me how many of these things are OBVIOUSLY photo shopped.
*headdesk* And you, my good sir, picked the best possible example to illustrate that observation with. Well done.
I wonder if such a sign would deter my office mates from denaturing their lunchs’ proteins upwind of me?
Did the piece of shit died?
You just made me want to turn it on. =\
I really, honestly would find this funny, if only it wasn’t photoshopped
*pretends it’s real* ROFL!!! Could someone also pls let me in on the vicar? Cookies for anyone who does!
Clickie for the viccie.
Thank you!!!! *hands over plate of cherry cookies* somehow methinks it would not have been a great idea to hand out chocolate biccies around such a fail!
i wouldn’t use it there anyway
When microwaving poop, be sure to set the microwave to number two.
As the poster of this picture, I feel like I should clear up the confusion leading people to believe that this is a fake. Someone in my dorm pooped in a bowl, and then cooked it in the microwave…I know, I smelled it cooking. The sign was made by someone who wasn’t there when it actually happened.
Why is it still plugged in? lol
Wait up! Someone pooped ‘on’ it, Or someone ‘pooped’ this? Like out of his/her butthole?
its always nice when you notice something on fail blog youve seen in real life thats at the end of my hall in this dorm
Something like that happened at my college >< Another year, they blew up a microwave.
1337 votes.. WIN..lol.
when u gotta go, u gotta go.
joke is off code monkeys. classy show!
By pooped they either mean cooked a hot pocket or melted a hershey bar. =P
what the hell? this guy could’ve just printed that paper out, taped it onto a random microwave and snapped a photo of it and posted it on failblog!
Read my comment above…I posted the picture, and it’s real. Even another guy on in my dorm commented to prove that it’s real.
I also live in your dorm lol i know who did it also
*gasp!* That’s right! What the hell kind of fail is this?
oh, no this picture is legit, because it came from a college dorm room. some guy had the bright idea of pooping in a bowl and let it cook in the microwave for 10 minutes
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This is FAIL BLOG. Take your pathetic dating crap outta here
The idea is fun.
Make a fake to be on failblog isn’t fun. Lame goes with shame.
Yeah, why not just throw it out, instead of keeping it around with an easily-removed note?
I can only wonder… WHY?!
HAHHAHAHA this is my college, i know the kid who actually pooped in it
Classic…..although I’ll have to admit that me taking a fat greasy one in the urinal in 7th grade was better.
Meh, I’ve shit in worse places.
Like?
Microwave poopcorn.
The crap is done!
FAKE!!!!!!!
FALSE!!!!!!
we did that too…
it was funny at first
then the smell hit us
we all ran out of the house throwing up…
and we couldnt get back in to turn it off
so it cooked for an hour
=\
coke is a helluva drug…
Believe me, I’m curious.
And in this situation, I don’t think that’s a good thing.
poor mr.hanky…