Vending Fail
Picture by: dunno source Submitted by: Rick via Fail Uploader
This is the bathroom of a Library in the City of Mesa, Arizona. I asked where the vending machine was to get sugar for my blood-sugar level, and the employee said follow me. I followed her to the bathroom and was scared at first… I feared rape. Then I saw it… The vending machine was less than 2 feet away from the John… Awesome-sauce.
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Copy & paste this:
May as well take the direct route and throw it straight down the crapper.
You may have to throw at an angle, depending on the type of crapper.
Dammit! The sign says we can’t put anything down there unless it’s been eaten first.
Considering that the, er, um, well, gentleman pictured has his boxers up and the seat down, it seems very little will be going down there by any means any time soon. Toilet training fail?
Maybe he’s using it like a park bench. *shrugs*
Which means pretty soon, he’s either going to be arrested or have the people at the asylum come take him back to his padded cell.
Now you see, I always knew it was a mistake to label the WC a “restroom”.
next comeup will be a dining table in front of crappers
There was an occasional table, but sometimes it wasn’t.
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/08/21/privacy-fail-4/
Jam, u must work for the site, I see u early and often. Oh, I need to go
eat my late night ice-cream in the shower now.
Yes, I’m the Failedbog comment coordinator. Just going through the morning motions.
I do hope we shan’t have to evacuate.
that’s just nasty…*plop*…*munch*…doesn’t sound rite at all
my god your dumb
My word, that’s extremely unsanitary…
Too right – the stuff that comes out of those machines would seriously endanger the hygiene rating of any public bog.
Save from first-poster.
FAIL
Just as bad…
This restroom is for loading and unloading crap only!
No, it is not.
You can use john for swirlies. All the vending machine needs is a slot for shampoo. And conditioner. Perhaps some Pert. What a great marketing idea. …
“Oh crap”.
No bathtub?
Now i’m hungry.
Talk about maximizing efficiency. Now you can make your crap, release it, and not have to waste time traveling from the vending machine to the restroom. Now if only they could move the vending machine and toilet to the office so that employees wouldn’t even need to waste time getting up and walking all the way to the toilet or vending machine, or in this case, both.
Unless one has an extremely rapid digestive system, any time saved in the journeys thither and hither will be lost in the wait.
Not if the machine dispenses Purge.
toilet seat is down…
in soviet russia, down is toilet seat…
Seat?
The spanish car?
in soviet russia we crap in spanish cars
wut.
Now you don’t even have to leave the toilet to eat.
try to eat chocolate bar while sitting on toilet and taking a crap.
that must be the weirdest feeling ever.
its an acquired taste
try is some day
So is watching 2 girls, 1 cup. A taste I’ve not acquired and never intend to.
try watching 2 girls 1 cup while enjoying a chocolate pudding
great. now I need brain bleach.
Thank you. Now I need mind bleach to get over THAT image.
That’s gotta be the definition of junk food. You don’t dare eat it without the toilet being in sight.
Thats a win in my point of view
Eating while being on the toilet – what more do you want?
Rotate it by 90 degree and its a WIN
Hmmm … considering the kind of vending machines usually erected in toilets, I suppose he’d have to go to the cafeteria for his prophylactics?
So you’re saying that those aren’t squishy, white cheese sticks they serve?
No; nor a new brand of chewing gum (clickie)!
Ahhh, the thin blue line of Aquafresh toothpaste… or maybe you’re just pregnant in which case there’s no need for that special chewing gum.
There’s medicine for squishy white cheese, yanno. …
he didnt remove his underwear, or the seat to take a shit… a true visionary.
Or he just likes that warm feeling aftwerwards.
WTW?
Look what Dragon found!!!
Is it just me, or does considering “facepalm” and “headdesk” language unique to Failblog betoken less than extensive familiarity with on-line fora?
And here we see the Failpeeps in their natural habitat. Soon, a troll will come along and disrupt their play hoping for some unwarranted attention. This is when the Failpeep tribe get together and form a cuddle puddle. The cuddle puddle is a Failpeep sign of community and also a place where they can get naked without being outcast from society.
Are we being observed? I feel naked… can we have a Monday cuddle puddle?
*makes a puddle during a cuddle*
I like the fact that we’re a stealth community, only visible through careful investigation of the comment threads.
Sad to see they find our language hard to understand and are confused by the change in topics.
Talking of which. . .
I accidentied a ladderless ladder with a potato, what should I do?
You are making it hard for the e-anthropologists to understand what’s going on.
And you might want to use the hammer, the fire extinguisher is sold.
But the horse might collapse! And during working hours too…
I would use the hammer to collapse the horse, but I’m afraid of the guardian reptiles, and the nearest escape route is in China.
Don’t worry, you can escape through one of Czuhc’s origami hats.
In centuries to come, e-archaeologists will sift through the archives and conclude ‘LOOOSERS, GET A LIFE. SAM>US’ or something.
As long as they wear a hat and have a bullwhip while they browse, I don’t care.
Does that mean e-astronomers will name a new constellation after AA?
Does a full moon count as a constellation?
Only if you have starlight shining out of your butt.
Or spotlight on it: ♫ Blue Moon … ♫
A somewhat disturbing, but highly amusing thought! Who knows, maybe we will be subjects to e-archaeology one day. Apparently we already are subjects for social research…
What concerns me is the practise of people disposing of dog poos in plastic bags. Environmentalists have it that plastic bags take approximately a hundred billion years to degrade, so the dog poos inside will be retained for future generations to find.
They’ll find landfills degraded apart from these perfectly preserved dog poops, and conclude that poo was idolised and revered in the early 21st century.
Given todays fails, they wouldn’t be wrong.
Little known to future generations is the traditional greeting. . .
*anklesqueeze*
Dog poo in a plastic bag keeps the poo away from the poo magnets embedded in the bottoms of my shoes. …
*SNORK!*
…and *anklesqueeze*
Hey, plastic bags break down much sooner than I thought. I’m helping my 80 year old hoarding grandmother go through the stuff in her garage that’s piled up. The plastic bags basically are flaking and falling apart.
Anyone need a box full of shampoo samples from the 1980′s? When, exactly, does PERT expire?
After a night on the graveyard shift, I’m in far a cuddle.
You’re too far in a cuddle for that. Have a *squeeze* instead.
*shakes tiny ineffectual fists*
Grrrr!
Arrr!! *dons a tiny pirate hat and eye patch*
Are we having an early cuddle puddle? Because I could sure use one. *waves at everyone* Has Brewski come back?
*has a private pirate cuddle puddle*
*squeeze*
*has a private des’pirate cuddle in a puddle*
*ayemeheartiessqueezesall*
I’m holding out a hopeful blue cupcake just in case. I hope it’s not just in memory.
*sobsuncontrollably*
*squeeziesbymyself*
*squeeze*
I will return a squeezes. And thank you for yours.
Oh, and yes you are being observed. Arthurcam is a cult sensation.
Prove it! What am I doing right now? *waggles eyebrows*
*checks*
… JAM!!!
You are waggleing your eyebrows. And you’re…
Hehehehehe
We’re going to need a bigger shamwow
If you order now, the second set is free. That may be enough for the cuddle puddle.
I’ve been observing the comments on failblog ever since much peaness has been going on and am quite familiar with the way of failpeeps…
I only started commenting very recently though o.o
Well, if a troll does come along, we should endeavor to understand its biology and evolution, David. Here is a good primer on internet trolls:
ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ6j0_97zgs
Be sure to do a giggle wiggle once your viewing is complete.
I think this is a win!
Agreed.
mmmmm……….. food infused with the aroma of shit.
“Artificially aromatized”.
Actually it is not a fail.
It is a WIN!
Hey, if I had a refrigerator in the bathroom, I might never leave.
Especially if I could have a beer ap put in.
You’d need to position the TV so it was visible through the open door too.
Nah, Flatscreen on the wall.
****Returns – By Public Demand****
Fail at taking the picture seriously. Boxers on? Make all the innuendos you want but the man could have posed properly… Another weak fail.
Where are the Julies?
Ryan! Naptime!
You’re back bothering the nice people again, you must be overtired!
Come on, little man, time for a nice drink of warm milk and a lie-down.
You do seem to get fractious when you need a snooze, poor pet xx
“Ryan” is violating basic biologic law: he is not evolving from being an internet troll. Those who do not evolve into higher life forms are doomed to extinction.
A couch potato’s dream. All he needs now is a TV.
Ah, but a kitchen table potato will earn one a “discreet, professional and kind” nurse (clickie):
ht tp://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/fail-owned-vicar-hospital-potato-fail1.jpg
Please someone tell the guy he has to pull his trunks down and open the toilet before doing anything. Thanks
Just occurred to me – what is a library doing selling snacks and drinks on the premises, anyway?
It’s a legal requirement that no American can be more than 6m from a Baby Ruth bar. In parkland areas they tend to put them in bird nests, squirrel holes and shallow ponds.
It’s Arizona, land of McCain and shame. And a sheriff who loves pink panties on his men.
I worked at that library while the vending machine was in the bathroom — that particular one was in the break room for the employees, and that’s the staff bathroom, not the public one. I can’t remember why they had to take it out of the break room but it was in the bathroom for a couple weeks at least.
Feared = had my fingers crossed for some surprise
Where in Mesa is this? I live there! XD
It’s at the bottom of a butte. …
It’s the Dobson Ranch branch library, but the vending machine has since been put back in the breakroom.
Feared rape? Is rape common in America or is the poster just overreacting?
You can’t really predict something like rape. So, as a woman, my personal safety is at the forefront of my mind when going into secluded places with strangers.
I can’t speak to rates of occurrence in the US vs other countries. I’m too lazy to do all that googling and research this late.
I’d say epic win!
“I feared rape.” LOL! You can’t be too careful around those librarians. They get bored sitting at the circulation desk all day long waiting for an opportunity to escort an innocent young man to see the “vending machine” in the restroom.
Anyone who knows Mesa, AZ knows that this isn’t a FAIL…it’s commonplace!
Mmmmm nothing sounds tastier than a candy bar with fecal molecules on it. Yeah that’s right… I’m getting all molecular on it, yo! Don’t get me started on sub atomic poo!!! The good thing about this is you get to replenish whatever your body loses right on the spot.
That guy looks a lot like me. It’s not me, but at first I thought it was a photoshop job.
thats photo shopped lol
No it’s not. I used to work there, and the vending machine was indeed in the staff bathroom for a little while.
WOW. The picture-taker simply opened the door, went in front of the opened door and took a picture of both sides of the wall. You can see the wall to the left of the vending machine. Now that’s a Fail FAIL.
that’s a win in my book…
this looks edited. the bottom of the machine doesn’t match up with the angle of the floor and since when is an M&M packet bigger than a person’s head. it could be the angle of the shot. i don’t really know. but something is fishy with this picture. feel me?
Wow. That’s the best thing ever!!
I think the real fail here is that guy pooping with his underwear on and the toilet seat down
i live near mesa, i am totally going to check this out someday!
convience WIN!
efficiency win!
This guy looks like me, its creepin me out right now.
Also showed it to friends, they say the same. Any idea who this is? 
Totally, that’s my neighbor…or maybe you’re my neighbor…now it’s creeping me out.
Looks very fake tome. Photoshopped?
Rick is this u on the photo?
Needhrrrrrghhhh…moreungggghhhhh…fibre…gahhhhhh…and M&M’s.
Hey at least the girls on I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant can now have a nice snack while “poopin a baby”
LAMER
DD
That is totally a win in my book.
i know right hahahaha
It should totally be facing the toilet—that way, you could buy it WHILE you poop.
Totally win! I wish I had one!
This picture looks like a fake. There’s a clean straight line down the middle of the whole picture that is perfectly vertical. The tiles on the floor are cut off at a weird angle, and the lighting isn’t coming from the same direction on either side. It’s a FAKE…
It would be funny if it was actually real.
I don’t know what is the bigger FAIL…the kid sitting on a closed toilet with his pants down and his boxers on…or the vending machine next to the toilet
EEEWWWW! Who eats stuff while using the toilet?!
Diabetes win
hey! i dont see that as fail its a win… ok ok its only a fail cause its not facing him…. i would love it hahhahaha just kidding
“I feared rape” were the exact words… it was a female cashier, my first thought would be “Hoping for rape”
Ummm…this guy was “fearing rape” from a woman? Masculinity Fail if you ask me.
i am so gay su
This is so fail that the guy is sitting on the toilet with his boxers on and with toilet seat down.
The toliet seat isnt even up! This picture is a FAIL in itself!
The only thing that fails about this picture is the fact the toilet lid isn’t even up.
the worst part is his pants are down and his friend is taking a picture of him
Nice video! Diabetic WIN
I guess you were thinking too much.. haha.. Anyway, why in the world would they place a vending machine so close to the toilet? I mean you will get to smell some undesirable stench that is coming out of the bathroom if someone is doing a big business. lol..
He is seating on the toilet while the cover is down and wearing his boxers. Fail. Not funny.