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Cheezburger Network Blog
Eating evidence like that can give you a terrible tummy ache.
paper is not healthy!
High in fiber!
Om nom nom nom…
This video should be added somewhere in this vid (clickie).
Careful, getting filmed while munching paper off the hood of a police car is illegal in some parts of the country.
I PREFER TO BE FILMED WHILE MUNCHING COOKIES ON SOMEONE ELSES BED. THAT’S WHAT TURNS ME ON.
yeah you nto disturbing….
JUAAA!! Your commet turn me on DorkI!!
*sings nom nom nom song*
yah! thats an awesome song
hell yeh
neither is jail
Think of all the paper cuts you can get
+1
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
What exactly was the evidence?
Graham Crackers.
He decided to risk it for a biscuit.
*leaves*
Tisk, tisk!
*takes Moomin to task*
*squeezes him in a basket*
Teehee
A rubber biscuit?
*Notices Moomin leaving*
*Rakes up Moomin leavings*
*mutters under breath*
Darned blogmonster! STOP EATING MY POSTS!
*shakes fists*
Ironically appropriate though.
Well, if you didn’t have such a filthy mouth…
…you wouldn’t like me as much!
Besides, it’s really my mind that’s dirty.
Now it’s eating mine!
HAH!
Seriously, when it was eating my posts, I was not cursing or saying anything that might upset the innuendo machine!
Maybe that was the problem.
Possibly.
When was the last time you made your offerings?
It’s really your offensive and disgusting links that are causing the problem.
*switches link back to normal link*
*ahem*
Offerings? The blasted blogmonster just takes things, no one has to offer anything!
the blog ate all your evidence!
Blogmonster is acting as any diety would. Take, take, take and never give, give.
At least he didn’t eat your baby!!!!!
My WHAT???
But is it responsible for the Dingoes?
Avis? A baby?
Did she divine?Um…
See, I was like making a reference to the lady from Australia who was screaming that the dingo ate her baby and …
*flees thread*
An egg, to be precise.
Just to clarify, no babies for Avis!!!
Not even a possibility!
Not even Baby Ruths?
Not even.
Babies are
!!!!
*flees thread yet again*
So are females in general from current experience.
Or maybe it’s the alcohol, or just a combination of the two.
*mopes*
I’m sure you aren’t, Leila.
If i took you to a christmas dance and unfortunately accquired a terrible cold would you leave me for one of my best friends?
Ouch! That sucks. Jon, if she’s willing to do that, she’s not worth the effort.
*agrees with GS*
Anyone who would do that is not worth the time!
Yeah.
At least I couldn’t have wished her upon a better person.
I love moomin!
Its not graham crackers its lcd,,,its made to look like a graham cracker
LCD? I LOVE LCD…WAY BETTTTER TTHAN PLASMA
Lmao… I prefer LED.
FTW!
It was a bank robbery, so possibly a note given to the teller saying to hand over the money.
I definitely wasn’t his get out of jail free card.
You weren’t?
Oops, I ate the t right off the page.
*spits it out into bukkit*
Don’t spit that out, it’s evidence!
That, sir, is MAH BUCKITT!
The note he used to threaten the bank teller.
It must have been a ♯ note, then.
Watch out for paper cuts.
They don’t have a shred of evidence.
Now he is a noted criminal.
He has a lengthy rap sheet.
crap sheet?
Beware the long arm of the law!
He ate one sheet and they threw the book at him.
Better a book than a bouncing dryer.
Or that Snuggle bear. *shudders*
WHAT IS LCD? LAZER COMPACT DISK? THEY LOOK LIKE GRAHM CRACKERS NOW EH? INTERESTING.. I’LL TAKE 4
The evidence was the bag of money that the dyepack had exploded all over. They found it in the back seat. Nice try suspect.
http://www.wcpo.com/content/news/saywhat/story/Robbery-Suspect-Eats-Note-Off-Cruisers-Hood/voNeen0P4UydmWSlkOC2jw.cspx
Nice link, but it’s just sad that the person who wrote the article didn’t know how to spell “dye.”
It was the note he handed the teller demanding money! I saw this on the news a few weeks ago and cracked up then too!
It was a note saying give me money he gave to a banker
he was a suspected bank robber. they think it might be his “give me your money” note.
The Evidence disappeared…Magically O.o
Better than having an impacted colon…
low-cal concalcon, take it away!
Is he the father of Calculon?
Evil twin.
I’m afraid this fail is going to bring out the nasties today…
nomnomnomnomnomnomonom
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg
Different nasties.
LGB, we can always try to ignore them. Try I say, as I may not be able to do it either.
Did he die?
Did he diet?
He wished a salt and buttery was added to the list.
Did he dine?
(Yes! At the Did He Diner!)
evidentlyallegedly
Ooh, fleur-de-leila
Very observant you are as was the ghost.
We’re the same person, silly. But you can’t prove it because I ate the fails where we were accused of that, muahaha!
ht tp://failblog.org/2009/12/04/gangsta-fail-2/#comment-700811
Is that the one where we were Tyler and Marla and you fisted me with a rubber glove?
That's good, Leila. We don't talk about Frisk Club.That’s when I stuff your person.
Stuff her what??
her?
It's personal.I’m going to stuff your person SO HARD
Same person as the ghost? If otherwise, I don’t wish for people to know that I talk to myself.
You are talking to yourself.
No, I am not. Go away!!!
*gives Leila some chocolate and a squeeze*
Maybe this’ll help.
* hands Leila a tall shotglass of Southern Comfort *
This will help you more.
*takes chocolate and squeeze and southern comfort*
Yup! You guys were right…I am feeling singular … almost.
♫ One singular sensation, every little step she takes. ♫
*picks up remains of Leila’s second persona*
*puts in bag to add to AZ’s afternoon snack*
*sneaks sip of Southern Comfort*
Reportedly…
Purported purple paper eater.
Preposterous, dorkapotamus.
*runs*
Who came up with that preposterous hypothesis, was it Steve? Steve. *shakes head*
Can you stop shaking now? I’ve got a headache.
*slathers Avis in Purell*
Will that help?
Um… not exactly… but… thank you?
*squeeze*
Shamwow, Ms B?
Silly suspect, he’s added gluttony to his list of sins.
High in papery popery.Papal deprecation?
Did you notice more Papal bull?
I make it a point never to notice such things.
They can be hard to digest.
Speaking from experience?
I try to avoid getting reamed out when I’m three sheets to the wind.
*gives Marius a vellumious SQUEEZE*
*scrolls on the floor*
Quick thinking!
*nomnomnom*
It’s a good thing this wasn’t a drug bust. It would have been hard to nom the evidence without looking like he had just take a dozen powdered donuts to the face.
That depends entirely on the drugs in question.
"Suspect ingests blotter acid, trips up police and himself."*giggles*
Look at the colors!
That’s a blot on his record.
Why am I suddenly craving chocolate?
I’m just hungry.
Chocolate solves hunger as does alcohol.
Alcohol makes me SO hungry! Paper fixes that, though.
The recycled variety I am sure. Environmental responsibility.
An Inconvenient Binge
Here’s your Nobel Prize!!!
I’d like to thank everyone for my Nobel Prize in Drinking! Hi, Mom!!
You would have had to share it with Brewski but alas, *sniff* he isn’t here.
That’s just Gor-y.
Al say!
She has a way of warming me up.Does she make your heart melt or is she just an ice princess?
She's a vice-princess.
Nary vice, fuzzy <3
*warm heart beats*Mmm! “C’mere, you”
he’s tough
A little steak sauce, you’ll never notice.
Evidence Nom!
WIN
OMG lol
There goes a tenner.
I don’t he’ll put on that much weight.
think?
believe?
guess?
reckon?
…HELP ME!!!!!
Doubt?
I’d like to buy a vowel?
“If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.”
He accidenty his action verb! What should he do?!
Get some lunch.
Dangle his participle to see if he can catch the verb with it?
*dangle dangle*
I will go with Ms B’s idea. Let’s get lunch. Will that be paper or plastic?
Well, the Admiral is eco-friendly, so you’d better make it canvas.
*checks list*
But…but…that’s not an option.
Besides, I hear canvas is hard to chew and much worse to digest.
It’s in the bag. Eats shoots and leaves.
*ducks*
Watch where you shoot that thing!
loved that book
I can tell by your conscientious punctuation
Leila, I almost didn’t recognize you with the new avatar! Now, at least, I won’t be fantasizing about licking you any more. (Hey, that sounded creepier than I meant for it to.)
You know, maybe his doctor recommended he eats more fiber? Or maybe his lawyer?
*eating lunch right now*
I am jealous! I don’t want to go across the street for food. It’s cold.
Bitter cold here.
We have excuses for cold weather, living up here in the tundra as we do. Leila on the other hand, lives in Texas, where it should still be nice and toasty.
How much snow did you get Leila?
Ended up with about 2″ of it. Some parts had more. What a weird day!!!!!
It’s cold here too. Of course, I’m at home. And my kitchen, while not fully stocked, is not bare.
It’s a soup sort of day here.
ITS WARM IN CALIFORNIA…BUT I’M HUNGRY
Today’s urinal cakes are highly recommended!
*and now I’ve stopped*
:ick:
Original or recycled?
Would it make any difference?
The whole thing?
Are you putting us on?Weight for it…
Ah, a friendly scale.
too bad he was on camera he could have totally gotten away with that!
Loading printer win?
Or
Self wiping #2?
He probably did get away with it. The cops have no proof what was written on that piece of paper. It wouldn’t stick in court. They might show the video but its circumstantial evidence.
Too bad he didn’t eat the gun and the bag of money he had in the back seat.
Get away with what? Destroying evidence? Obstruction? Disorderly conduct?
He would have to if it wasn’t for those meddling …, um …
Stupid kids and that stupid dog.
YEAH! What Ms B said.
Ruh roh!
No scooby snacks for you!
Are we to believe that they were laden with ‘funny’ stuff?
Scrappy Doo was on crack, that’s for sure.
No doubt…”Puppy Power” had more than one meaning…
I reckon Shaggy was on pot too, with his waster-y tendencies and unshaven beard, paranoia etc.
Hence the reason he always had the munchies.
You don’t say!
Scandal! I don’t believe you! Not on a kids show!
Quoth the Hammykins:
“Well, they DO chase spirits…”
Scrappy Doo,
*Points nowhere in particular*
A magnum.
*Forms fingers in gun shape*
POW!
I’m hoping that whole thing was done in the voice of James Mason, Mr Izzard
I refuse to acknowledge this “Scrappy Doo” character you mention. It just didn’t happen as far as I’m concerned.
Who?
Who who?
Alright, someone left the window open and the owls got in!
#I really wanna know#
EARWORM ALLERT!!!
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?
hahahaha that is amazing!
“NOMNOMNOM”
If that was LSD paper, someone’s having an awesome night in prison.
I’m not sure about that. If I ate a sheet of acid, the last place in the world I’d want to be is prison.
It’s the last place no matter what I ate.
Very good point.
Well then, i guess it all depends on your opinion of a fun night.
Yikes!! Another good point.
Quoth the knibbler!
I’M GUNNA WRITE MY NEXT RESUME ON LSD PAPER!
This very well might be a fail though, since he is on camera. haha but twas clever, twas clever.
Without the actual note, they have no real proof of what it said. Even if he is on camera. They can get him for tampering with evidence though.
pretty sure that, given it was a bank robbery, they probably can live without the note. There’s also the whole ‘He wouldn’t have eaten it if it wasn’t incriminating” thing, which (if they go to that length) an expert witness might attest to.
Unless he simply has a nasty case of pica and randomly craves paper.
Cop fail for leaving vidence in suspect’s reach–I’m sre that will end soon–at least in this dept.
MY MONEY’S ON HE WAS JUST HUNGRY…IM’ ALWAYS HUNGRY WHEN THE COPSGET ME
it doens’t matter, they’re never gonna find out what it actually was, he can just say it was a shopping list or smth =]
He can say it, but it’s unlikely he’d eat the shopping list unless it said “Ski mask, gun, bullets, stickup note”
or smth=]
*mutters:* "I want to got to the Whitney and the John Jacob Guggenheimer Smth"I’d go anywhere with you.
This is why I always print my bank robbery notes on rice paper.
Me too!! I carry some wasabi and soy sauce in mini-containers as well.
ITS IN A SMALL WATER PROOF POUCH NEXT TO MY CONDIMENTS…AND BY CONDIMENTS I MEAN BALL SACK
AND BY BALL SACK I MEAN THE POUCH AROUND MY WASTE THAT HOLDS MY HACKEY SACK
Actually if they can’t prove what was on the paper it’s not admissible at this point. Definitely a ‘better class of criminal’ than we normally see on failblog.
Criminals have class?
of courses they do!Especially now that they’re required to give advanced notice.
I am guessing no one told our paper munching friend of the crime committing advance notice notification. His intestines would have appreciated it.
I think it’s more of a Religious Caste system.
Good point, if they had gone there they wouldn’t need to eat paper for a living.
Could be worse! They could eat plastic and suffer a major blockage.
Although blockage might be useful where he’s going.
He might run into someone who really likes to push the issue however.
eeeewww. …
I blame FB!!! They didn’t bestow the ‘edit’ or ‘delete’ comment option upon us.
That would be SO boring…
So many many times I wish there was a way to take back comments!
I don’t see how’s that a win because they got him on camera and he has no idea.
I say it’s more of a fail because he ate that piece of paper for nothing.
Please read the comments. He may still be in trouble, but not for the robbery. Unless there is additional, separate evidence to prove it.
They weren’t done frisking him.
He was eating cat food?
Meow Mix!
Knibbler in bits?♪I want chicken, I want paper ♪
Chow, chow, chow.
PLEZE DLIVER
Not my idea of a fancy feast.
True, true. He could have other stuff on his person that would be just as damning.
PLEASE, fuzzy, change your name to “stuff on his person”
and he DID!!
*goes to fetch mind bleach*
But WE might!
Eh, we have a whole vat over by the showers. You can get a scoopful on your way to wash it all away.
That’s new!
And a very good idea.
Just one question.
Are these showers communal?
…and what happens if one should drop the soap?
Judy comes by with that E.T. finger.
That’s it! We’re installing stalls!
Don’t make me break an ankle to avoid communal showers again. It’s an extreme fix.
Works though. No gym, no gym!! Hip, hip, dammit!!
Get hose up quickly! We don’t want to stall installing stalls.
*lobs a “t” into previous post.*
Um…I’d wondered why you were so quick to get your hose up there…
Surely such a worldly-wise woman such as yourself would understand the uses of getting hoses up quickly?
You won’t get a “get out of jail, free” either, if that’s how you behave in the shower.
Well, I promise that if I DO ever make a pass, you won’t have to pay for it.
We’re definitely gonna need a new innuendo machine.
Only when I have the right company AA.
*grabs GS and Jon, takes them to a different thread*
Trust me, it’s safer this way!
*shouts from other thread*
This one’s full of trolls! Help!
Oh boy! Can we go to the one with sordid noms?
Or, there’s some very obscure law against eating whilst being searched…
You should really wait until two hours after or you get a cramp.
it was a bank robbery–bank’s have camera’s. He might be on camera (depending on ski mask/hood, etc). Plus, money and the exploded dye pack were in his car which conveniently matches the description of the robber’s car. doubt he’ll get off
Why so possessive? And why can’t he get off?
Note to cops: evidence should be placed outside of tongue-reach of suspect.
I hear that’s one way to get out of a speeding ticket…
To quote the late great George Carlin, (nsfw) “Don’t be so suburban, it’s da new millennium…” (^_~)
Hi, welcome to the future. San Dimas California 2688. And I’m telling you it’s great here. The air is clean, the water’s clean, even the dirt, it’s clean. Bowling averages are way up, mini-golf scores are way down. And we have more excellent water slides than any other planet we communicate with.
lolz, nom nom nom
Crime doesn’t pay – but it does provide fibre!
Fiber is good for your colon while in jail.
Um, the toilet’s in the middle of the cell…
No wonder I can’t make any phone calls!!!!
*thumps toilet* It ate my change!
There’s an app for that.
is there a vending machine nearby?
But is it good for melon colony?
It increases dietary fiber, but reduces moral fiber.
I see what you did there.illusion of power
Power fiber.
Power fibbers.full circle
of power
♪ When you were languishing in rooms I built to fiber you in
And when the wind set down in funnel form and pulled you in
I don’t need to walk around in circles
walk around in circles
walk around in circles
walk around in ♪♫
If it was me I would have worried about all the germs and would have asked when the cop washed his hands last and if he wouldn’t mind providing some Purell to spritz on the paper before consuming it.
Again, that’s just me.
Blech, Purell tastes nasty!
How the heck do you know Ms B? ROFL!!!!
Ummm, during the swine flu debacle, someone decided to slather it on the thermometer instead of using an alcohol wipe. I was the unfortunate next user of the thermometer. Blech.
Watch out for those flavored, er, I mean scented sanitizers. One of my friends kids got ahold of one and thought it smelled good so it would taste good. It didn’t seem like he had that much of it, but it made him act drunk. Like – over the top wasted. Friend took him to the Dr. and they said that it was a real problem and that children could easily die from alcahol poisoning.
They actually stopped supplying it at some schools a few years ago because kids were drinking it and getting horribly ill.
Nature’s way of thinning the herd, methinks.
LOL It does seem poetic, but my friends little boy was only 2. Just didn’t know any better.
Well… there is that. I can understand it happening with little ones who don’t know better — but kids in elementary school should know better than to drink random gels. *shudder* I don’t know how they get it down, frankly. I can’t even handle a teaspoon of liquid medicine that tastes nasty. Why would anyone guzzle something that doesn’t taste good?
Well if you could findthe answer to that we wouldn’t need AA would we?
Some years ago, I was visiting my old high school. I was in the office, chatting with the receptionist when two girls walked in. Both were freaking out. It turns out that one had ingested the entire contents of a travel sized bottle of Scope. She had read the back of the bottle where it says “do not swallow” and flipped her lid. I couldn’t help laughing when I told her that she would be fine, that one time wouldn’t kill her. But boy, was she ever freaked out about the whole thing.
My point, I guess, is that kids will drink stupid things. That girl probably wanted to get the cigarette smell off her breath, and it backfired on her.
*slow sad headshake*
I’ve tried to use mouthwash, but I just gag on it. *sigh* And that’s the decent-tasting stuff.
The part about the whole thing that was most funny to me was that when I was her age, I’d have freaked out too! I was a bit of an alarmist when I was a kid. And I worried about EVERYTHING.
There’s decent tasting mouthwash?
It’s called vodka.
Not even close to a win… Obviously they saw the dashcam footage, and not knowing that all cop cars have a dashcam these days is a fail.
He’ll just tell the court he was hungry.
But after some thinking I have to say you’re right. Everything comes down too poo, so he’ll be busted anyways.
I noticed that several of you all have changed your avatars for the holidays. Judy, Smurfette looks lovely in her solo appearance. Dilettante – I will consider myself warned. Gracie – Love the holiday colors. LGB – The party dress is lovely. Leila – looking a little flowery there. fleur – y that is.
And watch out for that handicapped ramp with alligators at the bottom, as well.
You could have told me BEFORE I lost my little toe on the left. *sigh* Now I wobble. *pout*
Love your happy little holiday hat and I’m a horrible doggy lover to not have noticed and loved on you and your hat earlier.
*whacks own nose with rolled up newspaper*
*squeeze*
Just teasing you 3Bs. That’s the reason we warn against making lists around here, inevitably someone gets left off.
Oh for goodness sakes!
*tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle*
Stop taking me so seriously!
*writhes on floor giggling*
*gasp pant pant*
Okay. No serious on the Scotty. Got it.
*poke*
Hee hee! Maybe I should put a Santa hat on Sincweard.
I’m gonna stay as my ugly old cowself. Holding a puddy cat, of course.
My kiddo loves cows. She thought that they were the best part of moving to Wisconsin. Cows everywhere!!
It’s not the best part of moving to Wisconsin?
Best part? His smirky expression once he finished chewing. Priceless!
That wasn’t a smirk! It’s a look of a painful realization that he didn’t have any milk to wash it down with.
But now he needs milk of magnesia to deal with the tummy grumblings.
See? Good old fashioned crimes are way better than internet crimes. Eating a whole computer wouldn’t have been as easy.
That would be a pretty big byte.
But you could eat it one Nibble at a time.
One nibble a byte at a time?
Actually two nibbles a byte.
That’s a yotta bytes.
Yup, you may need to take a few exa bytes to finish the whole thing.
Screen before you nom.
“The suspect ate my homework, Mr. Smith.”
Prove it!!!
….
My thoughts exactly.
Too Funny! When opportunity knocked he was on the ball.
Sure, later the cam let them know what happened but at the time those cops must have been baffled. “But it was right here!” LOL I hope the guy had enough smarts not to admit to anything. Not that I want him to get away with robbery, just that sometimes cops deserve what they get.
I thought he was on the hood of the car. It would be hard to balance for a frisking if he was on a ball. Did he have practice in the circus?
Not if he was in a ZORB!!!!!!!!!!
*SPLAT!*
Well, Jenny, but your comment supposes that there was no action at the front end of the chase and capture. What if there’s an entire sequence of events caught on camera? What then? Would the cops still be so deserving as you’d like them to be?
So enters the worst kind of trolls…
Wow, that didn’t last long!
Thank you PTB!!
I got un-nested in the process but that’s ok.
Can I nest here then?
Make sure it is in a “V” branch or your nest will fall down.
lol how stupid failblog comments are… thats just failed failure
Thank you for your stupid failblog comment and your admission of failure.
It’s the rare, but convenient Self Insulting Troll.
If this continues cake in the break room might get…discontinued.
I guess it’s a mixed blessing then that they happen so infrequently.
Why stop cake in the break room anyway? We can celebrate how honest some trolls are about themselves.
Scotty!! You identified a new troll for the Troll Identification Page! I’ll go put it up.
Good boy, SIT!
WooHoo! I identified a new species! Let’s celebrate, drinks are on me everyone!
I don’t know if I want to lick my drink off your fur, sweetie. Can I get my drink in a glass?
Of course, anything you’d like!
Hip Hip Dammit!! Yay Great Scott!!
And it’s up!
Hip-hip-dammit for Scotty!!
I’ll have an Irish coffee please. It’s MUCH too cold to have an iced drink today.
Woops.
*changes clothes*
Slides DW in disguise an Irish Coffee.
Fankoo.
*sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrpp*
Drinking from fur is not sanitary.
Fine! If nobody wants the drinks on me, I’ll just dry off.
*shakes fur vigorously, spraying alcohol everywhere*
GACKPHLLBBT!!!
Pffft!!! PffffTTTT!!!! Ew.
I will take a fruity/girly drink in here please and thank you.
*hands Scotty a carafe*
GAH!!
*Fizzles*
*Falls over, motionless*
I think I just had some hair of the dog.
*Makes Leila a Blue Hawaiin*
There you go, sorry about the mess.
Jon!! Try over here!!
What am I trying now Avis? Wet Dog and Tonic?
@Admiral: Well, he IS a Scotch terrier, after all.
Ha! Islay single malt Scotch terrier
*brushes*
I like my Scotch terriers neat.
nothing to add than: FAIL xD
Fascinating, care to elaborate?
Serious thoughts:
Hm… I wonder WHY he ate the paper?
non seriouz thoughts:
lol, nom nom nom… i luv 2 eat random document files ^^
The suspect was very ill. He had one of those viruses that destroys all your documents.
That’s a really deep thought
maybe it was a sheet of acid….
That sure would burn going down.
Rookie cop is one who has to retrieve the evidence.
After he waits it out.
I’d venture to say that the evidence will, by that time, be hopelessly compromised.
:ick:
Quadruple sentiment for me.
Gastrointestinal pyrotechnics in 5…..4……..3…….
Something wrong with the chain of evidence…
It’s been contaminated.
Or “processed”. Depends on how you look at it.
I was thinking organic but I better stop.
maybe just recycled….
Just trying out my new costume.
Awesome!
Ho Ho Ho!
I LOVE IT!!!!
All the tentacles are intact.
Thank you guys.
*Santasqueezes*
A new look to go with that dusting of snow outside? I like it!
Very nice Starfish.
You look mahvelous!
you people are all crazy. honestly. what’s wrong w/ u? go get laid or something.
At least our shift keys and all our letters work.
*snork*
Besides, other than pr0n stars, who gets laid all day, every day?
Eggs get laid every day.
That’s not quite what I had in mind when I typed that!
GASP!!! What else could you have meant????
Hehehe!!!
Were you talking about plans? I keep hearing about the best laid plans, but………….I don’t think they really exist.
They don’t. At least not good ones.
Maybe you were talking about a well laid sod and how it makes for a good lush green yard.
I think bricks get laid every day…but only the ones that are well-stacked.
♫ She’s a brick…HOUSE! ♫
*snorkroffle!*
Bricks.
Oh, come on! I said “WHO” not “what”!
*snork!*
DANGIT!
Sowwy, I poached your pun. But in my defense, I didn’t see it before I posted.
You had a better line than me anyway.
When it comes to brick puns, the mortar merrier.
I’m daubious.
*wattles away*
*gives Dragon many points for style*
Why did Em stop getting laid to tell us that? Or is it… oh, Em’s not getting any
It takes talent to type as you are getting laid.
Actually, if it’s a talented lay, no one is even thinking of typing. At least in theory.
Em, I am a married man, so getting laid is not an option. Just because you have a cool mom that lets you have girls down in your basement/bedroom, doesn’t mean you should ruin failblog for me.
ROFL Starfish!!!!
Sex dies when you marry?
Marriage dies when you sex.
It’s a legal thing. I wouldn’t try to understand
Best to stay single then.
Yeah, I’d agree with that. Or at least just go to sleep and wake up with a slightly less gloomy outlook on women.
Only the living has an aversion to death.
but ZA, some of us have an attraction–I mean, look at how CUTE you are….
No, sex died when Baby Starfish was born. All was good up to like 8 1/2 months, and after he was born, not so much. It’s cool, were going to try and make another one next year so the love train will be rolling again. Choo choo.
Yay for Starfish!!!!!
“you people are all crazy. honestly. what’s wrong w/ u? go get laid or something.”
I take it this is your first visit to this website.
“But I don’t want to go amongst mad people,” said Alice.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat. “We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” asked Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat. “Else you wouldn’t have come here.”
You may just get along well here Wittypirate.
Does that make me Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum. I can never keep me straight.
I must ask the Carpenter and the Walrus. They will know.
Based on my avatar I supposed I’m the Mad Hatter.
I’ll go ask Alice.
*cues up some Jefferson Airplane*
Well…I think she’ll know!
.daeh ruoy deeF
Bank robber? That did not look like money.
Ballsy. Stupid, but ballsy.
The expression on his face as he’s chewing… and the obliviousness of the cops as they’re patting him down. You’d think someone would have stopped and said, “Hey man what cha chewing?”
If I were on the jury, I’d push for guilty on the robbery, but commute the sentence to time served for the ballsy attempt.
That is the funniest win I’ve seen in AGES!
If the find you with that you’ll get life in prison. nom mister, nom for your life!
♫ Eat it eat it…..nananananan♫(don’t know the words to M. Jacskson songs).
failblog fail ?
408th!
Fail, because he didn’t eat the tape also.
You speak the truth
My dad said that happened in court in China once. It wasn’t even on the streets or anything, like, inside the court with the jury and everything. She went to jail along with the criminal cause China doesn’t give a shit LOL
That was actualli amazing! did u c the smug look on his face at about 25secs
hehe ppl like this deserve 2go 3just 4bein funni
Kind of a win/fail, because it’s creative, but they’ll likely charge him with destroying evidence along with the other charges.
♫Bad boys bad boys whatch gonna do watch gonna do when they come for you♫
Needs a video clip?
I am trying to embedded videos.
Did you accidentty it?
LAWL
someones not getting a conviction : )
Grrrr. They have been using some sort of fabric cleaner on the cubicle walls within the office, including the outside of my cubicle wall. I ran off to a conference room to read while they were cleaning mine because the noise was more than I wanted to deal with. Now that I’m back at my desk, I’m realizing I seem to be slightly allergic to whatever cleaning product they used.
sorry to hear that, n.s. -- the cleaning sounds like a dirty shameI’d think of some clever reply, but I’m too busy not being able to breathe.
are u ded yet, if so please reply asap
ROFL
saw that one on the news, made me lol
“o nos! i gotz to get ridz of dis drugs! *om nom nom nom nom om nom NOM*
Defense Attourney: And what evidence do you have against my client?
*cop holds up a bag of crap*
Cop: We have reason to beleive the suspect tampered with it during his arrest.
Now we play the waiting game.
hahahaha
Just FYI, if that thing comes open inside you, you are dead.
nomnomnomnom
is that piece of paper the only thing he stole?
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM… ’nuff said.
this guy’s court:
well it’s not a total win…
i mean the video tape could be still used as evidence against him
Do you wish to become a knight?
The look on the cops faces near the end of the video is proceless
om nom nom nom
nom nom cop is beaten by nom nom robber.
I wonder what those cops said when they saw the tape
good thing it wasn’t physical evidence.
that guy is my hero now
Most expensive bowel movemnet ever!
XD Om NOM NOM NOM.
That deserves the title of “Win of the year”.
I don’t know what was funnier, the guy’s face as he was doing the deed “Ah! Opportunity knocks! *NOM NOM NOM*”
or the officer’s at the end.
“WTF?”
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It’s almost a fail because it was on the police cruiser camera, but a genius ploy nonetheless; I honestly think it’s a push.
he forgot to eat the camera!
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Gosh darn it, you’re right! Now that I’ve seen what that black man did to the evidence…why, I’d like to see what a black woman could do to MY evidence…
er…
(Now, where did I leave my credit card? I’m almost positive I left it on the table after I used it for the Brazzers network…hmmmm….)
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My question is, and there are a kazillion comments, but is this caption suspect-win or suspect, WIN! (or both a pun)?
oh nom nom nom nom nom nom nom
*evidence gone*
he is BLACK !
Win…. except that it was caught on camera.
At least he’s getting 28% of his daily fibre intake.
I often find that some of the fails here are actually wins. And frankly an epic win in this case.
did he die?
This man is my hero.
Omnomnomnom
pure genius….
Loved it. Embedded it. Laughed like no tomorrow. Priceless FAIL
Not much of a win, since even if it was a blank sheet of paper he’ll be charged with evidence tampering. Besides, I know “sticking it to the man” is “cool” and all, but I fail to see how a bank robber is someone to cheer unless you’re just that desperate to be “cool”. Maybe a stoner or jay walker or something, but a felon? Seriously, at least have some standards.
Besides, if the cops weren’t laughing you wouldn’t see this video, since it came from their cam. Chances are eating the paper alone didn’t save him from conviction, and only added a charge to his sentence. So yeah, still a fail, sorry.
Pull the stick out your ass. Your post is a fail. Loser.
Man, all that chicken eating sure comes in handy sometimes. I guess its like eating a bone …some people eh!
THE FUNNIEST VIDEO EVER–RIGHT HERE! This guy probably deserves to go to jail, but this is what I call thinking on your feet (while being frisked)!
WIN!!!
Love the calm expression afterward.
Epic win.
ROFL! IDk what this guy was hiding but either yah he still kicks ass
What a stud…
“Whered it go?”
“Whered what go?”
om nom nom