Click to see G-Rated Pics and Movies Only
« Previous No thanks. That’s how I got this cold sore. | To be fair, it’ll be there eventually anyway Next »
» 254 Failures in Communication
-
Recent Comments
chagnasty on Right back at you, bud! splat on Ostrich Win You've Got Fail on Psychic Drawing FAIL Eprozer on Hurdle Fail Pooplo Man! on Right back at you, bud! ts6788 on Ostrich Win darkantys on Entrance WIN john on Right back at you, bud! john on Right back at you, bud! Avis on Ostrich Win 
Cheezburger Network Blog
now who you gonna call?Host Busters
I have to admit….I LOLd
me too ... in a host of gig lols!On the off-topic of ontopics, shall we set fire to him now or later?
Later.
*sets on fire*
IT BURNS!!!
NOT INTO THE PIT! I’m going to Gamelon… goooooood tiiiiimes
MAH BOI!!!
Did You?
*strokes chin thoughtfully*
Are you QuoteMan ?
No, Im CaptainObvious
oh, okay…
Am I Sidekick Oblivious?
Wow.. that’s some great publicity for this company. I’m guessing Qwest is an ISP?
With a question like that, I’m guessing you’re an idiot?
qwest is a fiber provider. They sell bandwidth to isps.
“First Post!” Busters
“Reply” Busters
Hypocrite Busters!
Thats all a myth, buster!
I can’t believe it’s not, Buster!
i would call it a work evasion win
I ate my cow. And it died.
What’s your beef with cows?
did it die after you ate it?
Acctually it died as I was crapping it out.
It’s a shame to eat such an amazing cow all at once.
It’s only a shame if it wasn’t kosher.
Horrible way to go – my father went the same way.
reely?
but who ate him? A cow? That would be quite ironic
It usually does!
i supose this is one of the most dangerouse job’s, anyone would beat the hell out of em if they recognized them in the street
you misspelled dangermouseJob’s trials were dangermouse, I supose
Steve's were computer mouse, high tech support hose.Well, they were varicose.
interfishnet tubesWhat platforms do you use?
we’re just teasing you, youngmulla.
Your English is better than my Spanish.
how do you say that in plural form?
y'all misspelled dangermouseYouse and your dangermouses.
dangerous for the customer. Remember.. you guys give support a lot of very sensitive information. MAC addresses, IP addresses, credit card numbers, email accounts, passwords… some people don’t realize its a person on the other end. And people do crazy things if you piss them off enough.
Wow.. talk about frustration..
Well, it’s a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will.
*snicker*
GHOST BUSTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Michael D….Mikey D….?
…MOOMIN???
It’s him!! He’s always breaking computers.
…and good and giving the runaround.
Methinks the Moomin is having a bit of fun at work. He always pretends to be the voicemail message when he answers the phone, too!
And look! There’s even a photo of him!
*pricks up an ear for Obvious Troll’s entrance*
You called?
*looks theTroll up and down suspiciously*
Hmph. You look like a garden variety troll to me, not Obvious Troll.
Prove it.
.. and not answering questions.. it’s him!
sounds qwestionableghost of Elmer Fudd?
Were you drivin in yer car?
an turned on teh radioo?
an pulled her close?
an she jusssst said nooooo
did she say she diddun like it
butcha noo shes a liur
cuz wen u kissed
ooooo
fi-ur?
/runs ….digression shame…
*sigh*
I hates crickets…
and he is always going around and spreading viruses.
Mail Trouble.Qwest for Getting FiredMwest more weeting tired.
teeny teeny teeny
Hate to say this, but this is so familiar that it doesn’t seem like a fail. Seems perfectly normal.
Do we need a support group?
A customer support support group?
I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
We approve this message.
i like it.
a support group to help u deal with your annoying support group…
No. But an Apple a day keeps microsoft support at bay.
Ipod your joke. I love it, but its almost time for me to zune out of here.
A mock slap?
(I mock like turtles.)I got plastroned and watched Quadrophenia.
I learned Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of Arithmetic—Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision, and watched A Hard Day's Night.Help!
We got to work it out!
Gah! This is giving me flashbacks of the last time I contacted tech support.
No kidding.
“How may I help you” indeed.
“Good afternoon, how may I raise your blood pressure today?”
“We’re raising the bar on your expectations.”
“…While keeping standards low for your convenience.”
“We’ve got our fingers on the pulse of our customers.”
“while keeping it high for our connivence.”
What?
I’ve found it best not to ask.
What!
*hands Dilly an egg mcmuffin*
*omnomnomnom*
MURDERER!!
Muahahaha
*runs*
*heart beats*well its not as bad as dell. they kept me on the line for 6 hours once than they said I had to mail it to them.
6 hours, eh?
More inconvenient than an inconvenience store.
more inconvenience than a whole inconvenience department
That’s on par for Qwest tech support. Actually it might be above par. Last time I had to talk to them, they basically told us we were stupid and didn’t know what we were talking about and there was nothing wrong (in nicer terms, of course). Never mind that our 1.5 Mbps internet connection was running at 32 Kbps, apparently there’s nothing wrong with that.
Qwest for the Holy Mail.
MSN'ing Inaction.maybe he should use a holy hand virus grenade.
that would get there attention.
******: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
Michael D: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
*snort*
*squeeze*
*waffle burp*
*snorkwaffle*
Help! Help! I’m being opressed!
It’s only a model.
I always wanted to talk to a live person.
It’s the customers that get animated.
As opposed to a dead person?
Dead people are so boring.
ahem*toothy grin*
pleasant , um, present company excluded, of corpse!
s'alright ... *sings*♪ A hearse is a hearse for a corpse, of course,
And who ever heard of a toothy talking, um, relative of a horse?
Unless -- don't curse -- the toothy talking relative of a horse,
Is the former calf, kafleen!
... whose name ultimately derives from the Greek name Aikaterine, the meaning of which is highly debated! ♪
A nice song, good rhythm.
*Praises the Foaly*
Q.E.D. (Qwaz erat Desiderius)*brain assplodes*
*stares with an intensity*
Dat was full of awesome.
Now, as for my name, me foin, foin mother informed me that it meant “little darling” and “pure.”
*beams*
Kathleen, sometimes spelled Cathleen or kafleen, is an Anglicized form of Caitlín, the Irish form of Cateline, which was the Old French form of Catherine. It ultimately derives from the Greek name Αἰκατερίνη (Aikaterínē), of debated origin and meaning. Theories include:
* from the Greek (catharsis), meaning to purge or to cleanse – pure/purity of emotion
* from ἑκάτερος (hekáteros), meaning each of the two, singly
* from the goddess Hecate.
* from the Greek word αἰκία (aikía) injurious treatment
The Romans, through folk etymology, associated the name with the Greek καθαρός (katharós) — pure — which led to the variant spelling Katharine/Katharina.
~ Wikipedia, mostly
Nice research.
So… I’m writing an essay… exactly how bored are you?
lol … “ghost” is writing a book, editing another, considering composing a review of a third, and designing a course to begin next month, while on his way out the door to get groceries, go the gym, do laundry and line up Christmas presents. Wanna do a trade?
You’ve managed to find time to do laundry?!
I remember clean clothes… *sighs wistfully* Yep, I’ll trade
I’m not writing any books. Maybe I’m just dirty…
*whispers confidentially*
I’m really a “Kathleen.” I just play a “Kafleen” on teh intertubes…
and I'm not really a ghost ... I'm just a playful ideabutt….butt…….
I wanted to believe!!!
Just say to yourself, “I believe, I believe!”
Gah! Uncanny valley
Awww!!!
Thanks!!
I love the gooeyschmooey stuffs!!!
*extraspecialsqueeze* ♥
IIiiiIIiiiII’m just a friendly reminder…
*alters your state*
*smacks hand with hoof* Stop that, you!
Umm…no…
*trots off quickly to play elsewhere*
Oh, I’m sorry, donkey, I didn’t mean it.
But Ghost REALLY likes when I alter his state.
*comes trotting back happily*
Have a waffle! With toppings!
You and dubs are gonna make me fat. *omnomnomnom*
Who is this dubs?? *looks around jealously*
Is someone else feeding you waffles???,/i>
crud. stop button fail.
youtube.com/watch?v=rNe-ZU1dkaM
I AM DUBS
ohh donkeyy, shoo. this hill belongs to me now >=D
I like talking to dead people as long as it’s ZA.
I like your new colorful balloon! Zombies rule! (well as far as talking to the dead/un-dead goes)
At some call centres, it’s hard to tell the difference.
all i need is love… heh
Sadly being an IT Consultant I do see this all the time. Just Friday night I was upgrading a customers XP to the new Windows 7 and got the most retarded message. (Keep in mind this is inside the only screen, the install window that is labeled “Install Windows”. In the middle of the install it just pops up with this message..)
“Windows Installer must now be closed and will restart your computer.
Are you sure you wish to close Windows Installer?
Windows Installer must finish in order to complete the installation.
If the Windows Installer is cancelled you will need to restart the
installation.
Do you wish to cancel Windows Installer? YES/NO”
I had no clue, so I hit the “X” to close the window without clicking yes or no. The install finished without a problem after that….
Thanks for the tip. I like these stories. These stories should be the norm on fail.
photoshopped.,….. err, message shopped!
“X” hits the spot.
*snork*
Funny I said the same thing….and was probably thinking the same as well.
It is because they don’t have a hot girl as their advertisement. Should have made that adjustment. Oh well.
phone me!
Why!
lol. I like the “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!’ at the botom
And it was barney
The reaction of the unknown person is what really sells this for me. “Oh my God!” “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”
I said that…. look up.
*falls over laughing*
Anyone try to call the number provided in the log? I got a busy signal.
After this entry failbloggers are probably prank calling them left and right.
I tried. Then I cried.
Then did you di…
…I can’t do it.
*sobs*
(I almost did, too) *patpatpat*
*hours later, someone points to the “Kiss Me, I’m Failish” note stuck on back*
*decides to keep it there*
Then did you dye? Becouse I do. I just have the cutest neon green stripes in my hair, so Kawaii!
Did the support died?
Here is your Qwest:
You are to get absolutely nowhere with as much effort as possible.
In the midst of your journey, a NPC will do their best to assist you. Good luck!
*grumble*
This better be worth a lot of XP.
You might even level up! happy birthday I suppose?
I could go off for hours about how Comcast’s customer hatef*cking service is ruining my life right now, but I won’t. You’re welcome.
“You hate them! You hate them! You hate them!”?
I posted that as my facebook status, and some stupid robot from Comcast spammed me saying it was sorry and would “appreciate any insight I had on how to help.” Me:
If, after 11 calls and a pointless IM, where each and every Comcast employee swore the problem would be fixed and couldn’t imagine why there was no record of me ever calling again and again and again, IF you hadn’t charged me $284 for an “unreturned” modem when I’m attempting to TRANSFER SERVICES TO MY NEW ADDRESS and you won’t allow me to because a Comcast employee you can’t seem to contact or locate used to live here and won’t cancel her account, IF I trusted a single one of you to even listen or do anything you promise, then I would bother suggesting anything to you on a good way to offer assistance. Your company is completely incapable of that. I’m sure you’ll greatly appreciate this insight and if you ever write back, will have no idea I exist or have paid you over $8000 over 5 years to give me nothing but annoyance and a waste of time. Don’t worry about it, and stop spying on people’s status updates.
Them: that is unacceptable. What is your account number?
Me: I DON’T HAVE ONE YOU WON’T LET ME GOD WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN
We hates it! Hates it! FOREVER!
we’ll killz it! Killz it ded!
I hates the hobb… I mean tech supportseses….
shankopotamus?
LOL
Aw, c’mon!
Inquiring donkeys need to know. We love to hear S.O.B. stories!
Gah! Did Comcast buy fb when they bought NBC?? Sorry, kaf, tried to tell you a story but I got moderated twice…
*sigh* Time for another Word Press Hoofing.
Word Press has been shennanniganing all week…
Teehee, I love the verbing of “shenanigans”.
Yeah, well, it’s all fun and games until someone gets shennanniganed!
Ok, trying again. I posted “I COULD NOT HATE COMCAST ANY HARDER” as my facebook status, and some stupid robot from Comcast spammed me saying it was sorry and would “appreciate any insight I had on how to help.”
Me: If, after 11 calls and a pointless IM, where each and every Comcast employee swore the problem would be fixed and couldn’t !magine why there was no record of me ever calling again and again and again, IF you hadn’t charged me $284 for an “unreturned” modem when I’m attempting to TRANSFER SERVICES TO MY NEW ADDRESS and you won’t allow me to because a Comcast employee you can’t seem to contact or locate used to live here and won’t cancel her account, IF I trusted a single one of you to even listen or do anything you promise, then I would bother suggesting anything to you on a good way to offer assistance. Your company is completely incapable of that. I’m sure you’ll greatly appreciate this insight and if you ever write back, will have no idea I exist or have paid you over $8000 over 5 years to give me nothing but annoyance and a waste of time. Don’t worry about it, and stop spying on people’s status updates.
Them: that is unacceptable. What is your account number?
Me: I DON’T HAVE ONE YOU WON’T LET ME GOD WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN
*empathy brain explosion*
You situation illustrates why I signed up for DirecTV as soon as it was available so that I would no longer have to deal with Comcast.
Good luck to you, dilettante.
“Your”
Darn typos!
(Did you use the word “1mage” or any iterations thereof?? That would do it.)
Ahhh! I did! Dorkapotamus, me.
*squeezes the dorkapotamus affectionately*
*pushes up glasses* *feels much much better*
*doesn’t find post-it with DORK written on it on her back until much, much later*
Dorkapotamus sounds like one of those round squeezy stuffed animals they sell on the ICHC site.
I’d buy one.
Looks like “Michael D.” failed a Turing Test.
What I find funny is that the Founder of Dell is Michael Dell. Michael D. the same person maybe?
that is pure epic.
I wasn’t aware Kefka got a computer.
“When Grogor Semsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous vormin.”
... end thet's whet Frenz ere for.In gud temes and bid temes?
Call 1-800-ITD-FAIL
OMG Must have Sponge-Bob Legos!!!
I wonder why Patrick is yellow and Squidward is green. Hmm.
marry jerkmas1
Why would I want to marry Jerkmas1? What has he ever done for me? Plus, I hear he’s a playa.
*snork*
After several joking interchanges between my son and me about “frontin’ playas,” my mother came to me one day and said, quite seriously and very carefully and slowly, “What is a fruh-un play-uh?”
Almoast peed my pants over that one.
/good times, good times
//crickets
///trots out quickly
154 !
it’s definitely a WIN!
This has happened to all of us at least once, including Anpu. It seems like the bigger your problem is, the longer they make you wait. If the help people ran the fire departments and you were trapped in a burning building, they’d put you on hold ’till the next day.
looks like someone didn’t fire their lazors?
Actual exchange between myself and HP’s “award winning” online tech support:
Jonathan: The Serial number which you have provided is not matching in our database. Could you please recheck the serial number and provide me the correct one?
Mike Whitaker: I’m not sure what to tell you. That’s absolutely, definitely it.
Jonathan: I’m afraid, the warranty of the notebook expired on 6 Jan, 1903 .Am I correct?
Mike Whitaker: 1903?!?
Mike Whitaker: No, I don’t believe that’s correct
Jonathan: I’m sorry.
Jonathan: I deeplay regret for inconvenience.
Jonathan: It is underwarranty only.
oops ... my badLooks like you’ve got coyote’s computer.
hahaha thank god qwest is not available in my area, I have customers that have it and HATE it
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Are you sure its plugged in and turned on?
Well, I’m out of Ideas then.
“OK, well, the button on the side. Is it glowing? … Yeah, you need to turn it on. Err, the button turns it on. Yeah, you do know how a button works, don’t you? No, not on clothes.
[Moss's phone rings. He answers it.]
Moss: Hello IT. Yuhuh. Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot?
Roy: No, there you go, I just heard it come on. No, that’s the music you hear when it comes on. No, that’s the music you hear when… I’m sorry, are you from the past?”
Techwin.
No, this is not a fail. Stupid computer user is call Qwest about a hotmail account? Hotmail is part of msn. Qwest has nothing to do with Hotmail. Michael D. response was absolutely brilliant.
Manny…fail.
Qwest uses an MSN engine for their email system. To access your Qwest account, you actually log in via Windows Live. This arrangement allows each company to blame the other for any technical issue that might be brought to their attention, ensuring that the actual problem is unresolved and that the tech-support staff at each can mark the issue as successfully resolved. At review time, they can each point out how productive they have been, without having to actually do anything.
WOW
nuff said
I’m not sure if this is money or sad. Had conversations like this before..
“Microsoft Presales Team is available only via telephone. I recommend that you contact them at: (800) 426-9400. They are available from Monday through Friday 6:00 A.M. – 6:00 P.M. Pacific Time. This team will assist you in selecting the Microsoft product that best fits your requirements.
I hope the above information is helpful.
Thank you,
Nancy
Microsoft Customer Service Representative”
I emailed back asking if Microsoft really employs sales people with no access to email, she never replied.
I hate them soooooooooooo much
Michael D: Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties on our end we are unable to transfer you at this time.
Michael D: Unfortunately, due t…
Michael D:
D:
But then, who was phone????????
Well, the URL shows that Michael is talking to sales, so it seems like the Fail would be trying to get tech support by clicking on the Sales link.
Michael D supposedly IS the Sales Rep.
I think the point was that the program running support transferred him to Sales, and he doesn’t know why, either.
I don’t get it…
What’s a mail relay? And how can sales help them with a technical service question? Seeing as how they can connect via the internet to the website it seems like they need to remember how to turn on outlook or whatever email program they use.
yes, using hotmail is a FAIL
Is he dead?
To echo Jabba’s but: What is a mail relay?
Is this how the Brits refer to an email server? Sort of like gas vs. petrol?
Would a ‘deflated rotary rubber’ refer to a ‘flat tire’, or something else?
STFU about our language or ill wall you in your house with FAIL bricks
and no we dont refer to it as a “deflated rotary rubber” we refer to it as a flat tire,same as you
I know. very late reply. Work gets busy this time of year.
Anyway, I only ment it in good fun. I actually LOVE the british way of speaking.
Us yanks talk pretty funny.
This is why I hate Qwest.
See, this is what happens when you outsource your Tech Support department to a Virtual Intelligence (VI – see Mass Effect) system and fire your whole staff.
Makes me proud to own 4 shares of QWest stock.
I bet the transcript of this is gonna get posted in Michael D.’s office by his supervisor, amid Mr. D.’s screams of “IT’S NOT MY FAULT! IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”.
This made me laugh, working tech support I understand customers can be hard to deal with sometimes but after noticing she clearly choose a SALES onkine support to talk to (see the address bar) and asks a technical support question, how can she expect not to be asked to call back technical support. I just don’t get people like this, it would be like asking a car salesman to fix your car when it breaks down. \
Honestly, when will people learn!
This happened to me one time, well, pretty much. I was having alot of trouble with my flash drive made by a company that whymes with BanRisk (hey, don’t want them calling me). It had to have been outsoruced, because I couldn’t understant a word the tech person said, and she just repeated my question like, five or six times… never got it fixed (Obviously).
thatz silly
sharing of good hand health
ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!